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April Fool's 2017 - Nanu's Grand Trial

"I'll hunt down and fight that psychotic Fearow that tried to attack Persian a while back! I'll fight it with my bare hands!"

Immediately, your mind reels with all sorts of ideas. You remember how Nanu forgets to buy Persian's cat food until she's actually already run out. You could buy her enough food to last a lifetime to make up for your blunder, and maybe a new catpost, some new beast balls to play with, a Kantoan meowth companion. Somehow, all of that doesn't seem like enough. Your failure with asserting dominance lay not only in being impulsive to the extreme, but also because you couldn't prove you had the strength to win. So what if you display that you do have strength? You remember now, too, a time where Persian was attacked by a feral fearow, completely unprovoked. Unprepared, Persian was beaten to a pulp and rushed to the Pokemon Center. If you could find that fearow, the same exact one, and fight that with your bare hands... then maybe, just maybe, Nanu would forgive you and recognize your worth.

You tell Nanu, "I'll hunt down and fight that psychotic Fearow that tried to attack Persian a while back! I'll fight it with my bare hands!"

Promise with a firm smile, "I will do whatever it takes to make it up to you!"

Of course, you haven't the slightest idea how to locate that fearow, or how its size compares to yours and Persian's. Also, it's kind of a problem that you can't fly. The fearow, once accosted, could easily escape, and then all hope would be lost. As if all hope isn't lost already.

Nanu points out all the flaws in your plan, lips pursed and still not hugging you back. You're surprised he hasn't slapped a pair of handcuffs around your wrist yet and dragged you by your feet to prison. That means he has a soft spot for you, right? That means you still have a chance... right?

You pull back from the hug, which was never returned, and promise to Nanu with a firm smile, "I will do whatever it takes to make it up to you!"

Nanu replies in a deadpan tone, "Whatever it takes, huh?"

Whatever it takes, you think, is an understatement.

What do you start in your search for the fearow?
 
Grab a handful of Nanu and whisper: "let's reenact some fan fiction instead"

You grab Nanu by the shoulders and whisper, "Let's reenact some fanfiction instead."

"Do what, now?"

You never did read the fanfiction Nanu wanted you to, but now you can possibly make up for that and kill two birds with one stone, because who knows? Nanu's popularity could mean someone else knows about the fearow who attacked Persian. One of the authors could have even been its trainer! You wait for Nanu to realize your how much of a genius you are, but he looks as confused as you've ever seen him.

Oh, well. It can't be helped. You ask if he's read anything about the fearow in the fanfiction about him. He shrugs, says something unremarkable about how fearow are common, annoying predators that trainers encounter out of the blue in fanfiction.

Good. That probably means the fearow will be an easy opponent. There really is hope yet for a happily ever after here.

"We should consult Kahili," I advise. "She should be able to tell us a good way to find Fearow."

There's one bird fanatic in particular you can think of who can help you not only devise a sound strategy to fight a fearow head on, but also to find the one that specifically attacked Persian.

"We should consult Kahili," you advise. "She should be able to tell us a good way to find Fearow."

"And the fanfiction...?"

You say you're still not reading it, but sure, the two of you can reenact on the way to finding Kahili.

Nanu rubs his chin, contemplating your plans. Either that, or he's trying to find a way to stealthily arrest you before you get the both of you killed, or worse. You really can't tell.

Eventually, he responds. "One problem. Kahili lives on Akala, and, as you know - or should know, we're on Ula'ula."

You look at the waves, rememberING what a good swimmer you are, and think that'll be easier to search the lands for Fearow.

Right, right. You're not in Kanto or Johto, where it'd be simple to travel on foot from place to place with a team of pokemon to keep you safe along the way. No, Alola's different. You sigh, wondering how many obstacles are going to try to stop you from reaching your ultimate goal.

Well, there's really only one quick way to reach Akala tonight. You look at the waves, remembering what a good swimmer you are. Hopefully, Nanu's just as good at swimming, so he can keep up. Persian will have to be left behind or put in a pokeball. What a shame, you think, rolling your eyes.

You grab Nanu by the arm, telling him that you two should get a move on, because the swim to Akala's gonna take at least a few hours.

"You do recall that fearow are flying-types, not water-types, right?" he says, resisting your pull.

You pull harder. The adrenaline rush helps your strength trump his, and soon, the two of are knee deep in the ocean water, and then, neck deep. Persian makes an attempt to follow, but ultimately, she ends up pacing the shoreline nervously. That's what she gets for being a cat.

You've made several promises to Nanu now: reenacting fanfiction, finding the fearow and avenging Persian, and finding Kahili so that she'll help you find fearow. What happens once you start swimming in the ocean?
 
You become carefree and giggly as the water washes away both the Pikipik blood and all your worries

The water's coldness shocks you at first, but your body adapts to the temperature quickly enough. Neither of you had prepared for a night swim, or for anything that happened so far tonight, for that matter. The thrill of it all gets you giggling. You feel carefree as the water washes away both the pikipek's blood and Persian's, along with all your worries about Nanu, about Persian, the fearow, Kahili...

You could live like this forever, minus your stained clothes and how you scarred everyone else involved in your wild chase for Nanu's love.

I wish I had a Lapras or something to swim on...

Nanu's clear lack of excitement breaks you of your reverie. He treads water quietly, only making an effort to swim further away from the shore when you insist you guys just can't give up now. You yourself can't get distracted if he's not going to be pushy, too, and even if you leave the waters, leave the beach, there's certainly no turning back after everything you've done. If you let Nanu out of your sight before all is said and done, he'll probably never let you see him again.

You wish you had a lapras or something to swim on. That'd speed things up for sure. And that way, you could focus on Nanu, and Nanu alone. But as it stands, you can't see any pokemon on the beach aside from Persian, and the water's surface seems equally deserted. You decide to dive underwater for a brief moment to see what you can find.

So what do you find?
 
You find a Toxapex bobbing just below the water, a smile on it's face just like daddy's...

You tell Nanu you'll be right back, and not to go anywhere while you're going. You take a deep breath and dive underwater, and you have to fight to ignore the initial sting of the saltwater so you can keep yours eyes open and on the lookout. A bit below the surface, you find a toxapex bobbing just below the water, two of its tentacles floating in the water to reveal its face. The toxapex's smug, sly smile on its face immediately reminds you of Nanu. It's the same kind of smile that made you fall for the dark cat daddy in the first place. You could gesture for the toxapex to meet you above the water so you can ask it for a ride, but the spikes on its tentacles aren't too inviting. You're not sure if you want to take any chances when the stakes are so high.

Also, a Shellder that sticks its tongue out at you. Well, more so than usual.

You decide to look around for a while longer. No other pokemon can be seen in your limited line of vision except a shellder, who swims a bit closer to you out of curiosity and sticks its tongue out. It gets so close to you, you almost get licked. You could potentially use the shellder as a sort of buoy, but it's certainly not big enough to offer you and Nanu a relaxing, romantic ride. The shellder could offer a safe ride, at the bare minimum, given its less threatening appearance.

Which pokemon do you choose?
 
You reach for the Shellder, but the Toxapex does not take being ignored lightly - neither does Nanu...

Safety is, you think, the best option. There's no point in winning Nanu's love if he gets hurt in the process, permanently or otherwise. So, you reach for the shellder, imagining the two of you holding on together, in close proximity because the shellder is so small.

The toxapex, however, seemed to have sensed the debate you were having with yourself, and doesn't react well to you choosing the shellder over it. It retracts its tentacles toward its body in anger, and then its lunges its tentacles at you, shaking them violently when it realizes it can't quite reach you.

You flounder about wildly in a panic, your movements restricted by the mass of water surrounding you. You reach the surface without being pulled down, surprisingly, and you gasp for breath, stammering in between breaths to tell Nanu that you guys really do need to get the hell out of here, and now, because a wild toxapex just appeared and wants to murder you for choosing a stupid pink tongue over it.

The irony of this all isn't lost on you. Now, your jealousy feud with Persian seems totally pointless.

Nanu does what he didn't do earlier. He embraces you tightly, and doesn't let go as he drags the two of you back to the shoreline. You're overjoyed that he understood you. If the two of you get out of this alive, you'll embrace him again, and this time, it'll be different. It'll be wonderful.

"Why are these Pelipper dive-bombing us?!?! Whyyyyyyyyyy?!?!"

The two of you are stopped rather abruptly, however. A flock of pelipper have decided to dive in and land on the water surrounding you, squawking loud enough to shatter your eardrums. They don't even seem to notice you two are fleeing for your lives, nor do they notice the toxapex's tentacles starting to emerge from the water one by one. With their landing like this, the waves are unbearable, causing the two of you to actually steer away from the shore instead of toward it.

This wasn't supposed to happen. "Why are these pelipper dive-bombing us?!?! Whyyyyyyyyyy?!?!" you scream, not daring to let go of Nanu even for a second, because you and Nanu have to escape. You both just have to.

What do you do now? Can you save Nanu and yourself, or even just one of you, before the toxapex strikes?
 
You throw yourself valiantly on to Nanu to protect him as Persian also reappears, claws raised.

You can't see a way out for either of you, but you have to try to help Nanu. If even Nanu could escape, you'd feel better. It's your fault for dragging him into this mess, all because you didn't want to read some fanfiction about him and get jealous. How could you have been so stupid? You muster all the courage you possibly can and throw yourself valiantly on to Nanu to protect him. Your body covering his, the toxapex will more likely than not strike you instead of Nanu.

To your surprise, help appears as Nanu's trying to push you off and mumbling something you can't hear because you're smothering him half to death. It's Persian, her fur matted down with all the water, and for once, you're glad for her love for her trainer. She looks majestic and confident and ready to kick some ass. Her razor sharp claws raised, she scares away the pelipper so that the two of you stop being swept away.

She doesn't seem to notice the toxapex. What do you do?
 
In a twist of fate, you pull out a contraband Surf TM and teach it to Persian. Nanu's trusted pet saves the day, and you two Surf off into the sunset.
 
With death the only possible option, you think 'fuck it' and lean in towards Nanu, making the most of your last seconds on earth

Death appears to be the only possible option at this point. The toxapex hasn't struck you or poisoned you yet, but it's only a matter of time until that happens, and neither of you have any antidotes on hand. Not to mention that Persian can't do all the work, not when she's weakened from you trying to tear chunks of flesh out of her with your teeth.

The pelipper squawk louder and fly away, shooting water guns and even the occasional ice beam before disappearing into the night sky. Persian, in a fit of fear, resorts to treading water so she isn't weighed down and provoking anyone else into attacking.

The toxapex finally bobs to the surface. You can see the its face again, its smile still just like Nanu's. Fuck it, you think, leaning in toward Nanu to make the most of your remaining time on earth.

Nanu understands, too, the danger of the toxapex's presence. He smirks and says, "I don't dislike you, you know."

You blink at him, dumbfounded and overjoyed. You feel like you could die happy now.

In a twist of fate, you pull out a contraband Surf TM and teach it to Persian. Nanu's trusted pet saves the day, and you two Surf off into the sunset.

Holding on to Nanu for dear life and trying to get a kiss from him, just this once, because you have his clear approval, you suddenly feel something round and smooth in his pants pocket. It can't be what you think it is, but you pull it out anyway out of desperation. You'll regret not taking your chance to have Nanu all to yourself forever if you die. Your body just seems to move on its own. Taking on the disc in Nanu's pocket, you let out a yell of triumph, realizing that it's the TM for Surf. Why Nanu has this at all is of no concern. What matters is that Persian can learn Surf, and Persian is right here.

It takes all of your energy, but you explain to Nanu the situation and drag the two of you toward the feline. When you're able to put her paw on the disc, the disc glows slightly, and Persian looks mesmerized, as if you're all not considered the prey of a poison-type pokemon anymore. Once the glow dissipates, you look Persian in the eyes. You hated her just hours before, but now, she's your hero right alongside Nanu.

Persian summons her newfound water-type attack, and the toxapex is washed away in the opposite direction, toward the beach on Ula'ula. The Surf takes you toward Akala, your original destination, because you and Nanu and Persian could still find Kahili and the fearow. Except you won't be fighting to end the feud with Persian. You'll avenge her, and the three of you can live happily ever after.

GRAND TRIAL COMPLETE
Now, the trial you were asked to complete was to find out the secrets behind the fanfiction written about me. Somehow, instead, I became someone's cat daddy and inspired you to become even stranger than the people actually writing fanfiction about me. I'd say, then, that you have failed the grand trial, but at this point, I'd be kind of scared of denying you the Ula'ula stamp. So, here you go. You all deserve it. Kind of. Please keep in mind this is a work of fiction. We are not all actually going to live happily ever after under the same roof. Sorry to disappoint.

(Mod note: Thanks to everyone who participated, and a special shout out to all those people who actually write real Nanu/Reader fics for inspiring this event. Couldn't have done it without all of you. Till next time!)
 
Please note: The thread is from 7 years ago.
Please take the age of this thread into consideration in writing your reply. Depending on what exactly you wanted to say, you may want to consider if it would be better to post a new thread instead.
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