TEEN: Land of the Roses [abandoned]

[Beth Pavell]

Well. I suspect this is going to be another one of those moments where you say "Actually, Bethany, I've done some research and found -" but what the hell, I'll plough ahead anyway. Two hundred strikes me as rather young for an oak to die. There's a saying, "Three hundred to grow, three hundred to live, three hundred to die" - an exaggeration, I think, though not far off, 'cause an oak can live to a venerable old age.

I'm in two minds about the Oak of Ages. I mean, that thing is a monster, that's what, perhaps twice the height of the tallest tree in our world? Not that I'm bothered by an oak that's insanely tall for an oak, as such - I just wonder whether it's so big that it's too difficult to conceptualise. I'm not sure.

I wonder if Andrea will end up noticing that little hypocrisy of hers. Kimberly said in plenty of time she was itching to visit the Peace Garden. You can't help but wonder whether Andrea though she'd just take one look, about turn and head off again

 

[Misfit Angel]

Well. I suspect this is going to be another one of those moments where you say "Actually, Bethany, I've done some research and found -"

You know me too well. Truth be told, all I did was a google search, spent about ten minutes reading three articles and went with the number that two of them agreed upon. It was a minor detail, so I didn't go into depth as much as I could.

As far as the Oak of Ages itself (which will be the focus of the next chapter), I initially imagined it to be a run of the mill tree, just exceptionally large. Sort of like this image. I'll try, but I'm not sure I'll be able to capture the absolute majesty of such a tree in the narrative. However, there will be more to it than meets the eye...

In regards to Andrea, perhaps we're beginning to see that she's an impatient person, especially with things she doesn't understand (or thinks she understands too well). It's good to see these kinds of things being picked up on, it's making me feel more confident in my abilities to create characters that get their points across while remaining subtle with the writing.

 

[AetherX]

Awards review here. I kinda got put on this at the last second, so I had to read and review very quickly. I'll make it up to you by continuing to read!

The plot is very similar to the most original concepts from Storm Island, which is a good start. It’s paced pretty snappily from the beginning, but I’m not quite sure what the overarching plot is going to be unless the mystery Pokémon is a harbinger of something new. Maybe it is. The setting is definitely a huge strength, which again carries over from Storm Island. The world is original and feels real-ish. Some of the weirder parts of canon (there’s really no paved road to this village?) feel out of place in an original setting, but it’s made up for by detail.

Andrea is a good character. Again, originality is the strong point here. I’m mostly looking for a bit more depth at this point, but she’s a good character for right now this early on. The supporting cast is appropriately deep, but not terribly interesting. The main weakness here is that I have yet to meet a character that I really like. That’s subjective, though. I'm sure it will change in time.

The dialogue feels just a tad forced at times, as does some of the random little exposition bits. It’s like there were some ideas that got written in without much consideration for how they fit in the scene or the story overall. I've always seen these kind of issues as being due to writing things out of order or just generally really wanting to add in a passage. I don't know if that's what you do, but it can be fixed by more rigorous revising or beta-reading, and of course just practice. Unfortunately at the time of writing, I can't recall any specific examples, but if you really want me to I could go back and find them. Sorry about that. I don't normally like to be this vague, but it's a symptom of how I had to judge it.

Good stuff overall. Congrats on the award!

 

[Misfit Angel]

The dialogue feels just a tad forced at times, as does some of the random little exposition bits. It’s like there were some ideas that got written in without much consideration for how they fit in the scene or the story overall. I've always seen these kind of issues as being due to writing things out of order or just generally really wanting to add in a passage. I don't know if that's what you do, but it can be fixed by more rigorous revising or beta-reading, and of course just practice. Unfortunately at the time of writing, I can't recall any specific examples, but if you really want me to I could go back and find them. Sorry about that. I don't normally like to be this vague, but it's a symptom of how I had to judge it.

While some examples would be nice, don't worry about it if you're pressed for time. I personally can think of a few off of the top of my head that I know exist and recognize as I'm rereading before publishing, but those are a consequence of me just not knowing how to bridge the gaps properly. I could wait days/weeks for the right ideas to come, or I could move on.

 

[SuperTrainStationH]

Read Chapter 2.

The description of the facilities captured my attention, as the college I used to go to had a laboratory in the basement where they studied horseshoe crabs, so as I read through the different sort of mini-biomes that the researchers created, I sort of imagined a suped up, more fanciful versions of the places I was familiar with.

As for the R-Kit and our heroine figuring out how to use theirs, its sort of funny how since Pokemon first began in the mid-late 90's ideas such as handheld computers in the form of smartphones and smart watches which were futuristic at the time and one of the more sci-fi type elements of that fictional world are commonplace now (as well as in your story, which the characters explicitly discuss), and her needing to use a device like that is common in all sorts of modern jobs, so if you want to look at it in regards to how it would be perceived as a "novelty" to the reader, the R-Kit's uniqueness isn't in its mere existence, but what its capable of doing in a world where Pokemon and scientific work relating to them exist.

And yeah, that's some first assignment, huh? No pressure, right? Just start out with saving a herd of Miltank.

Cool to see it starting off with some stakes, even if they aren't "personal" they aren't inconsequential either.

I do look forward to reading more.

 

[Ghostsoul]

I guess this fic is next! I've been wondering about it for a while I suppose although I don't know much about it.
Anyhow, onward!

Intro:

Welcome to the Land of the Roses! This story is set in the fictional region of Lanark, a land inspired primarily by Wales, Ireland and Scotland. It follows the adventures of a young field researcher, a coordinator, and their assorted friends as they journey across the land in search of answers and for personal discovery. The story blends a modern, technologically-advanced society with elements of both traditional and high fantasy, combining the two into (hopefully) a fairly unique world. Despite the advances of humanity, the world remains a beautiful and mysterious place, ripe for exploration and adventure.

Seems like standard, but also original set-up especially with the combining of fantasy and technology and the main character being a researcher rather than a young trainer. You're going with a Celtic theme with your chosen countries, although I will mention that the regions of Cornwall, Brittany and the Isle of Man are also considered Celtic.

Oh, and the term 'Land of the Roses' or similar is something much more frequently associated with Bulgaria which is known for the many roses it grows and the 'Rose Valley' which is located in the country.

May 12th, a spring afternoon like any other in the land of the roses. Cloudy. Rainy. Cold and miserable, with a slight touch of gloom.

This is probably a personal thing, if anything but your choice of introduction line seems a little childish to me or otherwise very 'basic', it's not likely to make the reader interested in what you are writing. It might work as an introduction for a so called 'Middle Grade' book.

A blanket of rolling, grey clouds covered the entire country that day

The repetition of 'day' from the last sentence makes the writing loose flow.

Come on!" she grumbled to herself. "Almost made it to level 30 again..." She was tempted to start another game, but

Hmm, the dialogue also feels a little 'childish' to me, not sure what it is, perhaps it's the language.

The view would be perfect," she thought, "if it weren't for this damned rain."

We get it, it's raining.

"'eeeeeey! There's my girl!"

It's weird to see this sentence not start with a capital letter, but then it might look even weirder with a capital letter. Perhaps

Unless there's something you got involved in that you shouldn't have, you'll be fine. You're too hard on yourself, you know that?"

She sighed. "Maybe. It's hard not to be, sometimes..."

The characterization here feels a little obvious, but then again, I'm not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing.

She shook her head. "No. I just got here, you see, and I have no idea where I'm going. Would you happen to know where Dr. Reiland's Institute for Research is?"

"Yes, it's hard to miss. When you step outside, you'll see a giant windmill in the distance. Just walk towards it, you'll find what you're looking for."

Pretty convenient that the person selling the train tickets knew exactly where to go.

"As if I needed to feel any more nervous..."

I think this would have worked better as a thought, as a spoken line of dialogue it doesn't really add anything especially since there was no reply to it, seems to have little to do with the question the receptionist asked.

"We take security here very seriously," the receptionist said as she handed the ID card back. "We're not as big as Silph Co., but Dr. Reiland refuses to chance it after what happened to them all those years ago."

Do I smell foreshadowing? Good, good.

a 3.7 grade point average

This is more just for future reference, but we don't use 'Grade point averages' in UK high schools.

Dr. Reiland began to flip through Andrea's application. "Have you done any volunteer or charity work? I noticed a distinct lack of it on your application..."

The tone with which Dr. Reiland spoke made Andrea nervous. "Umm... I didn't have the time. Between the demanding hours of my studies, my job as a waitress and what little social life I had, I could never find an opportunity to make an impact like that."

"Hmm..."

"Surely you remember your own years at university, doctor," Patrick added. "Did you find yourself with much free time?"

I feel like this conversation moves way to slowly and carries on for a bit too long. It even became boring to read and I found myself skimming it eventually. We know she'll get accepted for the job, so there isn't much use of deliberation necessary.

I think you've put a nice original spin of the classic journey fic style story, with a protagonist that sits outside a normal character archetype.I'm not sure how I feel about the worldbuilding so far, but in parts it feels very stereotypical with many descriptions of fog and rain and not much else. The location (which I assume is a big part of the original region 'feel') of the fic does not quite feel alive as yet. Andrea, I get that she's a little insecure and likes dressing in black (perhaps to hide in the crowd) but otherwise I don't get much from her as of yet. I feel like this story does have a lot of potential and you have the technical aspect of it done right although I would work on adding more mystery and perhaps slightly faster pacing to the overall work and also avoid falling in the trap of stereotyping the Celtic Nations you chose to base your work from.

 

[Misfit Angel]

I'll lump these together since they're sorta related:

Seems like standard, but also original set-up especially with the combining of fantasy and technology and the main character being a researcher rather than a young trainer. You're going with a Celtic theme with your chosen countries, although I will mention that the regions of Cornwall, Brittany and the Isle of Man are also considered Celtic.

This is more just for future reference, but we don't use 'Grade point averages' in UK high schools.

While it's based on the UK and surrounding areas, it's not a perfect analogue. There are some obvious differences, such as culture, the way people speak, naming schemes, etc. I also have to work within the realm of my own comfort, otherwise I'll never get anything done; I'd be spending too much time looking up how things work in a country I've never visited, and I'd rather not.

Oh, and the term 'Land of the Roses' or similar is something much more frequently associated with Bulgaria which is known for the many roses it grows and the 'Rose Valley' which is located in the country.

Noted and aware of, but since Bulgaria (or even a close comparison) isn't in this setting, I won't worry about it. Land of the Roses itself applies to the heart of the country where the royalty and nobility reside, as will be explored in later chapters.

This is probably a personal thing, if anything but your choice of introduction line seems a little childish to me or otherwise very 'basic', it's not likely to make the reader interested in what you are writing. It might work as an introduction for a so called 'Middle Grade' book.

Hmm. It seemed to have grabbed the attention of several other people, in a positive manner. Maybe it's a little basic, but I'm not writing on the level of Twain or Dostoevsky. More than just seasoned intellectuals will likely be reading this.

We get it, it's raining.

Just driving the point home

It's weird to see this sentence not start with a capital letter, but then it might look even weirder with a capital letter. Perhaps

Notice the single ', indicating the dropped H. Kinda gets lost with the ". Not sure if there's a specific grammar rule about that.

Pretty convenient that the person selling the train tickets knew exactly where to go

The ticket salesman is a local. Surely he/she would know where some of the landmarks are. I could tell visitors how to get to just about any big attraction my area offers, and I'm in a fairly large city in comparison to Loch Alstan.

I think this would have worked better as a thought, as a spoken line of dialogue it doesn't really add anything especially since there was no reply to it, seems to have little to do with the question the receptionist asked.

Maybe it'd work better as a thought, but I'm basing Andrea's interactions and mannerisms off of my own. I talk to myself enough that I'd be considered a mental case.

I feel like this conversation moves way to slowly and carries on for a bit too long. It even became boring to read and I found myself skimming it eventually. We know she'll get accepted for the job, so there isn't much use of deliberation necessary.

While it's obvious she'll get the job, I can't just give it to her with no resistance. Besides, the aim of that was to establish a bit of background information/personality for all three characters involved: Andrea was strapped for time during her university days and focused on her career/studies to her detriment, Dr. Reiland, as a boss and owner of a company, is meticulous with her questioning of new employees, and Patrick is a friendly bloke who tries to remind his superior that not everyone is perfect.

I think it's worth mentioning that I cut a loooot from the job interview. It was about twice as long at one point, but I trimmed it on concerns similar to yours.

I think you've put a nice original spin of the classic journey fic style story, with a protagonist that sits outside a normal character archetype.I'm not sure how I feel about the worldbuilding so far, but in parts it feels very stereotypical with many descriptions of fog and rain and not much else. The location (which I assume is a big part of the original region 'feel') of the fic does not quite feel alive as yet. Andrea, I get that she's a little insecure and likes dressing in black (perhaps to hide in the crowd) but otherwise I don't get much from her as of yet. I feel like this story does have a lot of potential and you have the technical aspect of it done right although I would work on adding more mystery and perhaps slightly faster pacing to the overall work and also avoid falling in the trap of stereotyping the Celtic Nations you chose to base your work from.

Mystery is coming. Intrigue is coming. Atmosphere is coming. I don't know if it genuinely is, but for me, it's hard to nail all of that in what is effectively a prologue chapter.

 

[Misfit Angel]

Land of the Roses
Chapter 13: Obstacles

It was another early May morning. The sun was rising in the eastern sky, casting a bright, golden light on the countryside around the village known as Oak of Ages. The village itself, however, was still bathed in darkness; the massive 600 meter tall tree that the village was named for completely eclipsed the area for nearly a quarter of the day, with only small speckles of light poking through the densely packed branches. It was a strange sight to see a bright blue sky, yet be shrouded deep in shadow.

Behind a little brick house and at the edge of a rocky cliff that overlooked the ocean, Kimberly sat in silence. Her legs were crossed, her hands were rested in her lap and her eyes were closed as she listened to the gentle noise of the foamy ocean waves. She was deeply lost in her meditation. Her mind was an empty slate, her heart rate was lowered and her breathing slow, even and deep. Very little could break her from her trance, not even her hair blowing across her face.

"...need..."

Kimberly opened her eyes and looked around. The area around her was completely empty; no people, no Pokémon, even the wind had died down. "Hello?" she called out.

No response.

She looked down towards her phone and saw that she had spent the past hour overlooking the sea. "Maybe that's enough meditation for one day..."

- - - - -​

Inside of a small motel room that could only be described as cozy, Andrea was seated on the bed with her phone in her hands. Her eyes were affixed to the phone as she silently read from a digital novel. Eventually, signs of life appeared on her face: a smile, followed by a laugh. She shook her head lightly. "Don't, Trip... Getting involved is gonna bite you in the ass." she whispered as she continued to read. "She warned you several times about interfering..."

There was a knock at the door.

She grumbled and turned her phone off, then tossed it aside. "Better not be that noisy asshole from last night..." she muttered as she wandered to the door. She stopped beside the door and called out, "Who is it?"

"It's Kimberly!"

She began to undo the intricate system of chains and locks that protected the room from the outside world, then opened the door. "Morn'." she said.

Kimberly bowed her head silently, then stepped inside of the small room and looked around. Coming from a wealthy family, the room was barely a room to her; it was dimly lit by a single light bulb and the stale air within was choked with the aroma of heavy cigarette use. "You slept in this? It smells like a run down bar in here!" she asked.

"Unfortunately, I have to live on a budget. Besides, I've slept in worse." she said as she returned to the bed to gather up her belongings. "How about you? What was yours like?"

"It was a lovely bed and breakfast run by an adorable elderly couple!"

"Bet it was expensive..." she quietly muttered under her breath.

"When you and I arrive in Doranshire, I'll pay for your room and board. No one should have to suffer circumstances such as..." she trailed off as she inspected the room one more time. "...such as these."

She stopped what she was doing and looked up at Kimberly. "You sure about that?"

"Of course!" Kimberly said with an enthusiastic nod. "A drop in the bucket for me, no need to worry."

"I'll try to be a cheap date for ya, then." she joked.

Kimberly giggled. "So... are you ready to get started?"

She swung her backpack around her arms and grabbed her purse. "Are you? Don't have to meditate or anything like that?"

"That is already taken care of. You seemed quite annoyed with it the previous day, so I figured I would get it out of the way rather than make you wait yet again."

"Is that an every day thing? The meditation?"

"Most days, yes."

"Hmm. I suppose it isn't my place to judge." she said. "Yeah, I'm ready to go."

- - - - -​

The Oak of Ages

Despite records of the giant oak stretching from the neolithic era all the way to today, the Oak of Ages remains a complete mystery to the average men and women of the modern age. How old is it? What species is it? Why is it so large? All of these questions and more have been put forward by scholars, scientists and even kids like you, but the answers still elude us.

Andrea looked towards Kimberly with a raised eyebrow. "Kids like us?"

"You must remember that this town was a large destination for tourism until a few years ago. Children from across the country would often take field trips to see the Oak."

"Why'd that stop?"

Kimberly shrugged. "Another item on our list of things to ponder. Perhaps the rumors that the tree is dying are true? They may be trying to keep people away to hide that fact."

"Maybe we can find out."

The two continued reading from the plaque in front of them:

A Place of Peace

Despite the mysteries of its origin and continued presence, thousands of years of records have shown us that the Oak of Ages has been a cultural icon since antiquity. Archaeological evidence from across Lanark indicates that the ancient tribes often fought bloody and violent wars against each other, but there is no evidence of fighting in the lands surrounding the tree. Rather, some of the earliest written records indicate that the tree was a sanctuary, often visited by rival warrior kings to discuss terms of peace. In fact, it was here that the ancient tribes eventually banded together to form the first alliances that would later lead to the founding of the Kingdom of Lanark.

Throughout Lanark's troubled and messy history, the Oak of Ages has been a constant beacon of peace. Many violent conflicts throughout history were resolved in the shadow of the Oak. Notable declarations of peace that were signed at this location include:

• Solas an Lae, signed somewhere between 897 and 901, formally ended a civil war fought between rival clans for dominance of the heartland. It is here that the Greybell Clan established their millennia-long dynasty that remains in power to this day.
• Pax Rosa, signed in 1472, ended the third and final attempted conquest of Lanark by the Romatti Empire.
• The Eiffel Accords, signed in 1591, ended the seven year war fought between Lanark and Kalos, resulting in the acquisition of all Kalosian overseas colonies.
• Treaty of the Clans, signed in 1683, granted independence to Storm Island, a former colony of the crown, after three costly years of naval confrontations.
• Highlands Independence Agreement, signed on the 1st of August 1933, formally granted independence to the Kingdom of Glastonfell after two decades of negotiations. The decision to grant independence during the Great War was quite controversial and resulted in a physical confrontation between three lords, the only recorded instance of violence at the Oak of Ages since records began.
• The Great Accord, signed on the 2nd of September, 1945, ended the 25 year conflict known as the Great War. Dignitaries from nearly sixty nations came together to bring an end to the deadliest conflict in human history.
• Colonial Release Act, signed into law on the 1st of July, 1977, formally granted independence to all overseas territory owned and protected by the crown.

"Hmm. A lot of history took place here. I never knew." Andrea commented.

"Really? What did they teach you in school?"

She began to fidget. "Well... I'm sure they taught us about history, but I barely paid attention to any of it." She motioned towards a shaded pathway that led towards the great oak. "Let's see if we can get up close. Something tells me we won't be able to, though."

Kimberly took the lead as they wandered down the path. "I fear you're correct. I have noticed that this town is rather lifeless."

"Exactly. If people could visit the tree, this place wouldn't be such a ghost town, would it?"

What little light that bled through the branches of the Oak of Ages quickly disappeared as they navigated the winding trails that led to it. Before long, they were shrouded in complete darkness with nothing to guide them; there were several lamps along the pathway, but they no longer worked.

"Didn't expect it to be this dark..." Andrea commented as she reached into her purse.

"We're not going to get lost, are we?" Kimberly asked.

With her phone in her hand, she enabled the spotlight on it and pointed it at the ground. "I think we'll be okay." She felt Kimberly latch onto her arm like a magnet, giving her a slight shock. "What is it? Is everything okay?" she asked as she shined the light around.

"I just don't want to get lost, that's all."

"Right. Let's go."

The path towards the Oak of Ages involved several uphill hairpin turns with little to protect them from tumbling down to the bottom. They wondered why the terrain was so treacherous for such a famous landmark until they eventually realized why: the 'path' they had taken led directly to a chain link fence topped with wicked barbed wires at the top.

"Stop where you are!" a masculine voice called out from the other side of the fence. A bright, blinding light soon followed and it slowly started to approach the two. "Turn to face the light." the voice ordered.

The two looked at each other for a brief moment before turning towards the fence.

The light lowered, revealing a man dressed in dark green camouflaged clothing. "Huh..." he said as he studied the two closely. "Sorry, ladies, you'll have to move along. No visitors are allowed near the Oak."

"Still?" Kimberly asked.

"Until further notice. Move along."

Kimberly nodded. "Sorry to trouble you, sir."

Before Kimberly could drag her away, Andrea stood up to the man. "And why the hell can't we visit? The public was never given a reason." she questioned. "You do realize how important this tree is to the people of this country, right? Why isn't anyone allowed to see it?"

The man raised his head to the sky. "Look up. You can see this tree, as you so carelessly call it, whenever you want. That doesn't mean you're allowed to come any closer. Move along."

She remained steadfast in her desire to approach the tree. "I'm a researcher with the Reiland Institute. I'm just trying to get a few samples to look at, that's all."

The man gazed at her with a critical eye. "You? A researcher? You look more like a witch! I can not allow you to come any closer. Move. Along!"

"What is that supposed to mean?! Are you--"

Kimberly gently tugged on Andrea's arm and pulled her away from the fence. "Andrea, friend... there's no use in arguing with him. Take a moment to relax, please." She returned to the fence and spoke softly. "I apologize on her behalf. It's been a stressful few days for her."

"That's not my concern. My concern is the Oak and its protection."

"And that's good! The Oak needs to be protected from those who would do it harm." She motioned back towards Andrea. "But look at her. Does she really look like someone who could harm it?"

"She does."

The man's unexpected answer caught her off guard. "Umm... well. I assure you, she is a kind and caring individual. Perhaps I could speak to whoever is in charge here?"

The guard glared at her for a moment, then reached into his pocket and pulled out a small radio communicator. "Malek, would you mind coming to the southern checkpoint? We have some very stubborn guests."

"Is there trouble? I'll be there in a minute." the radio buzzed.

The guard returned the radio to his pocket and stared at Andrea, then pointed towards the left. "A couple hundred meters that way is a checkpoint. Follow me."

Kimberly walked back towards Andrea and tugged on her arm again. "Did you hear that? The one in charge will meet with us if we follow that man."

Andrea had been silently fuming and wasn't interested in any of the words her friend was saying. "What is with people? Why does everyone hate the way I look?"

"It's not just you. Nicole was treated poorly when I travelled with her, as well."

"Let me guess, she dressed like me?"

"You are wearing her fashion line."

"Ha. Right..."

The two followed the guard closely as he lit the way with his lantern. They tried to ask him a few questions related to the tree, but he either deflected them or ignored them. They both got the feeling that he didn't know much and that he was just a grunt of some sort, hired to provide security for something he knew nothing about. Regardless, his enthusiasm for protecting the Oak was extremely apparent; he kept a very close eye on them, especially Andrea, while he escorted them. Eventually, they reached a gap in the fence that was surrounded by a heavily fortified checkpoint.

One of the men at the checkpoint stepped forward. "Are these our guests?"

"They are, Malek," the guard answered.

Malek walked a circle around them as he looked at them with a critical eye. "Why have you come?"

Andrea was hesitant to answer, but eventually did. "I wanted to collect some samples of the tree for my boss to have a look at. I work with Dr. Reiland, are you familiar with her?"

"I'll ask again. Why are you here?"

Kimberly explained further, "We heard that the Oak may be dying. Perhaps there is something that Dr. Reiland could do to help?"

Malek looked down at the ground. "A very persistent rumor put forth by the scum of society..." He appeared to be quite pensive, deeply thinking about the situation presented before him. After a few moments, he pulled out a large touch screen device, tapped on it a few times, then nodded towards Andrea. "State your name."

"Andrea Dennison. I'm with the Reiland Institute."

"To answer your earlier question, yes. I am familiar with Dr. Reiland." Malek commented as he continued to enter information into his tablet. After a few moments of silence, he said, "Here you are. Andrea Dennison, a recently hired analyst with the Reiland Institute. Twenty years old, 5'3" tall, 147 lbs..." he paused as he looked deep into her eyes and nodded. "Blue eyes. Naturally brown hair, but often dyed blonde. You were born in the city of Azure Ridge on Storm Island to Marvin Dennison and Meredith Kalinzki--"

"Okay, okay, I get it! You somehow have a creepy amount of information about me."

"It's intended to be thorough, not creepy," Malek replied as he continued to study both her and the information on his tablet. "Security is very important here at the Oak."

She tried to sneak a peak at the tablet in Malek's hand, but he wouldn't allow it. "How are you able to access the Reiland Institute's staff list? As far as I know, that's not public information."

He paused for a moment to look at her, then focused on his search again. "I wouldn't worry about that if I were you." Several minutes passed by as he tapped away at the screen, read from the information on it or eyed her with scrutiny. Every now and then, he would trade glances with the guard. Eventually, he broke the silence and spoke once again: "Now, there are a host of other reasons for why I can't let you or your friend here come any closer, but I'll go with one you understand: You've only been at your job for four days and you weren't even sent to investigate the Oak. Honesty may have helped your case, but you didn't have one from the start."

"Excuse me?"

"Andrea Dennison, new hire," he said, reading from the tablet. "Currently assigned to task #727: Sightings in Doranshire. While she did well on her first assignment, her partner raised some concerns in private and suggested she be assigned to the Doranshire investigation as another test of her acumen."

"How..." she muttered. "I am being honest, I'm here to study the tree!"

"Don't lie to me. You, along with your friend, are not welcome to visit. Move along."

She was becoming visibly shaky with frustration to the point that Kimberly tried to pull her away yet again, but she held her ground. Eventually, though, she decided that it was best to leave rather than further escalate things.

As Andrea and Kimberly disappeared into the darkness, the guard crossed his arms. "I knew she didn't look trustworthy. Perhaps she should have tried being less obvious."

Malek shook his head. "I don't think she's one of them... She may dress a little suspiciously, but..."

"How can you be so certain?"

"Nothing in the information I looked up on her mentioned anything about it," he answered. "Still, I won't allow a liar near the Oak. Too much is at stake."

- - - - -​

"Why are you so upset? Neither of us expected to get in." Kimberly asked.

Andrea wrestled out of her friend's vice-like grip now that they were shrouded in warm sunlight. "A lot of reasons... Did you hear what that guy said when he was reading information about me?" she asked. "He said 'her partner raised some concerns in private'. Patrick and I are going to have a very spirited discussion when I next see him."

"What kind of concerns could he have possibly raised?"

"I don't know. Maybe I was a little too hesitant to touch a dead Pokémon? Or I was ready to give up when we were searching a nearby swamp for clues?" She shook her head as she pondered the possibilities, then sighed. "Guess it's time to get started on what I'm supposed to be doing. Do you need to do anything before we leave?"

"I'm set," Kimberly said.

"To Doranshire, then."

 

[Beth Pavell]

Apparently I said earlier that I was in two minds about the Oak of Ages. Well, it's a mystery, and I'm increasingly of the opinion now that in a fantasy it's better not to explain everything. The cultural symbolism rings reasonably true - even ordinary oaks seem to attract stories (I can think of two or three without needing to hit the books)

That unfocused anti-authoritarian streak in Andrea rings true as well. I noticed how quick she was to ascribe the guard's obtusity to her fashion sense rather than her stroppiness

 

[SuperTrainStationH]

As I start on Chapter 3 I have to ask, are these location maps a new addition?

If not, I don't know how I could have failed to have noticed them and complimented them before, as they certainly add a lot of flavor to everything.

The location name "Glastonfell" mentioned early on gave an intense authentic feel while also being unique to your setting. An actual physical smile grew on my face when I Google searched "Glastonfell" and the only results were links to this very thread.

As for the footpath they take, I've had an experience with a public footpath in the UK, and I was kind of amazed by how instantly my setting seemed to transform from a suburban town to a primordial-seeming forest with little sign of human activity apart from the path itself, and even if I didn't have that experience to relate this to, the way you described it gave me a very believable sense of the rapidly changing environment, as is often the case in the canon games and anime as well.

The battle between Patrick's Flareon and the wild Donphan was engaging from the standpoint of the battle being treated as a problem in need of solving and not just a description of an exchange of attacks, as some fics take to overly-literally applying the logic of the mainline Pokemon games, or even the anime in a certain sense.

This was especially true when Andrea, serving as a highly effective backseat driver, guided Patrick to victory by using the environment to trick the Donphan out of its armor so Fang could affect an assault to drive it away.

Being a spectator at this point, I have to wonder if Andrea had that insight BECAUSE she was more interested in escaping the situation at hand, while Patrick might have had his mind more on the "battle" than resolving the situation.

The description of the fleabag motel was also very atmospheric. I know I personally tend to be tempted to make everything in my vision of the Pokemon world very aesthetically ideal and "comfy", as that's the way of fantasy in general, and the attitude of the games and the show most of the time, but this lame hotel gives a grounding to the more fantastic elements.

And as outstandingly well equipped as the main lab is, with brand sponsored eateries in the cafeteria, its nice to see that there actually are cost saving measures being taken elsewhere, as while it wasn't a "problem", the description of the lab in the earlier chapter did leave me feeling that this operation seems almost TOO well equipped, but this more than balances everything out.

And now that I've reached the bottom of the chapter, I see the edit log explicating that you added in the region maps at a later point, much to my relief, as it would have been absurdly under-observant if I'd been commenting three chapter in, but failed to notice the gorgeous maps.

 

[Misfit Angel]

As I start on Chapter 3 I have to ask, are these location maps a new addition?

If not, I don't know how I could have failed to have noticed them and complimented them before, as they certainly add a lot of flavor to everything.

And now that I've reached the bottom of the chapter, I see the edit log explicating that you added in the region maps at a later point, much to my relief, as it would have been absurdly under-observant if I'd been commenting three chapter in, but failed to notice the gorgeous maps.

Thank you for noticing them! They were added after the awards concluded as a means to show the reader where things in Lanark are, as nobody is as familiar with the region as I am. When people are reading a story set in Kanto and hear Celadon City, they know exactly where that is in relation to everything, but the same can't be said for a custom tailored region such as this one.

The location name "Glastonfell" mentioned early on gave an intense authentic feel while also being unique to your setting. An actual physical smile grew on my face when I Google searched "Glastonfell" and the only results were links to this very thread.

I hadn't even thought about doing that, but it's nice to see how original that name turned out. That's always a worry of mine with things like this.

Little tidbit about the name, I came up with it on a whim far before I actually had a use for it; astute readers of Storm Island may have seen it as far back as chapter 39 of that story, serving as the name of a cruise ship. Back then I just came up with it off the cuff as I thought it'd never be used again, turns out it might be getting a bigger spotlight than I ever imagined for it.

As for the footpath they take, I've had an experience with a public footpath in the UK, and I was kind of amazed by how instantly my setting seemed to transform from a suburban town to a primordial-seeming forest with little sign of human activity apart from the path itself, and even if I didn't have that experience to relate this to, the way you described it gave me a very believable sense of the rapidly changing environment, as is often the case in the canon games and anime as well.

I hope to maintain that level of change between urban and rural environments. I don't know how believable it is, but my intended goal with the setting is for the large cities and smaller towns to be just about the only mark that humanity has left on the world, with largely untouched wilderness in the areas between. Obviously roads would have popped up as people had to get from place to place, but they're more dirt paths or loosely done cobble roads than anything.

Again, probably not very believable. Perhaps I can explain that away somehow later on.

The battle between Patrick's Flareon and the wild Donphan was engaging from the standpoint of the battle being treated as a problem in need of solving and not just a description of an exchange of attacks, as some fics take to overly-literally applying the logic of the mainline Pokemon games, or even the anime in a certain sense.

This was especially true when Andrea, serving as a highly effective backseat driver, guided Patrick to victory by using the environment to trick the Donphan out of its armor so Fang could affect an assault to drive it away.

I'm not sure how far you got with Storm Island, but that's generally how I do battles. If you liked this one, I'm sure you'll like what's to come. I take the approach that strategy is of unparalleled importance and can trump even brute strength in most circumstances, that's why the battles are laid out the way they are.

Being a spectator at this point, I have to wonder if Andrea had that insight BECAUSE she was more interested in escaping the situation at hand, while Patrick might have had his mind more on the "battle" than resolving the situation.

As will be seen later, Andrea is just a generally clever person which is why she was able to spot a weakness. Also, she has a degree in biology; she's put extensive study into the behavior of the more common species of Pokemon. Combining the two, she generally knows what she's doing without having much first hand experience.

The description of the fleabag motel was also very atmospheric. I know I personally tend to be tempted to make everything in my vision of the Pokemon world very aesthetically ideal and "comfy", as that's the way of fantasy in general, and the attitude of the games and the show most of the time, but this lame hotel gives a grounding to the more fantastic elements.

Glad you liked it! Something you might notice as time goes on is the duality between the shitty atmospheres in the cities vs. the unblemished beauty of nature. I hope to stick to that rule, but I have a feeling I might forget about it at some point.

And as outstandingly well equipped as the main lab is, with brand sponsored eateries in the cafeteria, its nice to see that there actually are cost saving measures being taken elsewhere, as while it wasn't a "problem", the description of the lab in the earlier chapter did leave me feeling that this operation seems almost TOO well equipped, but this more than balances everything out.

This makes me think of just how the finances of such a place work. I thought about dedicating a chapter to it since the lab hasn't been seen all that much, could be a fun distraction.

 

[Beth Pavell]

I hope to maintain that level of change between urban and rural environments. I don't know how believable it is, but my intended goal with the setting is for the large cities and smaller towns to be just about the only mark that humanity has left on the world, with largely untouched wilderness in the areas between. Obviously roads would have popped up as people had to get from place to place, but they're more dirt paths or loosely done cobble roads than anything.

Well ... not very, to be honest. A mistake fantasy authors (Up to and including Tolkien) tend to make is to think of cities as being somehow self-contained. In reality any settlement is at the centre of a big process on the land that includes all those human activities in the rural areas surrounding the city proper. The more modern the city, the bigger the impact - now the city isn't just the building themselves, but the farms, the roads, the train lines, the ports, the mines, the power plants, the landfill sites ...

Depends on what you call wilderness, though. Funnily enough the UK is a rather appropriate reference here. There's not a square inch of these islands that have not at some point been under some human influence at some point, but it sometimes takes a practised eye (And technology) to see it. The Norfolk Broads, for example, are not at all some relic of primordial beauty left over from prehistoric Britain. But then, most of the woods now, even the managed ones, look a lot more like the prehistoric forest would have than during the Middle Ages.

The other thing to bear in mind with this example is that the UK small, and currently has a big population for its size. Compare the UK to bigger states that haven't had the same level of population growth for nearly as long, and there's a lot more apparent "wilderness" to be found, if by wilderness you mean land not currently under human development.

 

[Ghostsoul]

Time to review Chapter 2!

As they moved along, Patrick couldn't help but ask, "Do you have any experience with training Pokémon?"

She shook her head. "No. It hasn't interested me all that much."

"No?" he asked, clearly surprised.

"Is that a bad thing?"

The dialogue here feels fairly natural and I like that.

"Ooooh, this is so exciting!" Andrea's thoughts screamed. "I can't believe this is happening!"

'Her thoughts screamed' really?
I'm not too sure how to feel about this line, it feels kind of cheesy and a bit choppy. I think you could rephrase it.

"I try my hardest not to look grim, especially when I'm in a good mood," she said.

Is there a way you can say this, without directly telling us? The character seems very self-aware here when perhaps I didn't anticipate them to be as such?

Measuring approximately 4.5 inches by 2.5 inches

That's a very specific 'approximation'.

likes of a map, e-mail, weather forecasts and even a digital radio

So this is kind of like the Pokegear you get in every region? This is just your region's variant of it.

"Well... It's a researcher kit, manufactured by the Catrianna Corporation of Storm Island. Most people call them R-Kits for short."

If it's so similar to the regular Pokegear which is it restricted only to researchers? It seems kind of odd that something simialr cannot be shared.

"Maybe they're looking to expand their market soon?" she asked.

Will this be a plot point that comes back? I personally hope so.

depicted famous Pokémon such as Venusaur, Charizard and Blastoise

I kinda liked how you described them as 'famous' seems a rather odd description, since individual Pokemon (unless they are legendary) normally aren't described as such.

"You said something about wanting to solve problems.

What kind of problems are we talking about here?

"You familiar with the Gates Dairy Farm? One of the largest dairy farms in the country, based in Nettlefield.

...not all that exciting problems as it turns out.

I think this fic so far is very well written, the flow is almost perfect and the technical aspect is also spot on. The plot kind of feels like a 'soap opera' to me, although still keeps a distinct Pokemon style, perhaps it's just not my cup of tea rather than it being 'bad' in anyway. You are managing to keep away from cliches to do with the area it's based on, which is good. I think I will continue reviewing, although I think it's mostly down to how I enjoy your writing style.

 

[Misfit Angel]

'Her thoughts screamed' really?
I'm not too sure how to feel about this line, it feels kind of cheesy and a bit choppy. I think you could rephrase it

I suppose that is kinda silly and maybe worth reworking a bit.

Is there a way you can say this, without directly telling us? The character seems very self-aware here when perhaps I didn't anticipate them to be as such?

This is something I have first hand experience with. As someone who appreciates and regularly dabbles in goth fashion but wants no part in the culture, you tend to get defensive when people start to assume things about you. Andrea's been dressing like this for years, she gets it a lot but it's no less annoying than the first time she heard it and in fact it actually pisses her off to no end.

That's a very specific 'approximation'.

Noted, though it might not be those exact dimensions. It was more to give the reader something to visualize.

So this is kind of like the Pokegear you get in every region? This is just your region's variant of it.

If it's so similar to the regular Pokegear which is it restricted only to researchers? It seems kind of odd that something simialr cannot be shared.

It has those features, but it's so much more as you'll see in upcoming chapters. If you've ever seen Star Trek and are familiar with the tricorders, that's the idea I've been going for. Most of its advanced features are why it's limited to researchers at the moment, and the fact that it's experimental technology not ready for public release yet.

Will this be a plot point that comes back? I personally hope so.

I don't know, actually, I hadn't thought about it. I'm not sure how much time will pass by the time the story comes to a conclusion, but we may see other non-sciencey characters with their own at some point.

I kinda liked how you described them as 'famous' seems a rather odd description, since individual Pokemon (unless they are legendary) normally aren't described as such.

In this universe, Pokemon aren't the biggest aspect of life for a lot of people. Society relies on the hard work of laymen such as engineers, civil servants, economists, teachers, police, trade skill workers, etc. to keep from falling apart, and most don't have time to get into the nitty gritty of Pokemon knowledge. Regional starters, oddities such as Eevee and Ditto and powerhouses like Steelix and Garchomp stand out as examples that most people are aware of, hence famous.

What kind of problems are we talking about here?

...not all that exciting problems as it turns out.

Heh, yeah, maybe not the most interesting problem, but that's a theme I hope to stick to: boring sounding problems that sound easy to solve but turn out to be worse than they seem and more important than the characters realize.

I think this fic so far is very well written, the flow is almost perfect and the technical aspect is also spot on. The plot kind of feels like a 'soap opera' to me, although still keeps a distinct Pokemon style, perhaps it's just not my cup of tea rather than it being 'bad' in anyway. You are managing to keep away from cliches to do with the area it's based on, which is good. I think I will continue reviewing, although I think it's mostly down to how I enjoy your writing style.

Thanks! It's always nice to hear that I've grabbed someone's attention!

 

[Misfit Angel]

Land of the Roses
Chapter 14: The Spritewood

The two took one last look at the Oak of Ages, the towering and mysterious guardian of the Westcountry. They lamented that they weren't able to get a closer look at it, but both realized that it was time to move on; for Andrea, there were pressing matters to attend to in Doranshire, while Kimberly was interested in keeping her scheduled appointments in the town of Rustlode Bluffs.

Ahead of them was an ornately carved bridge that almost seemed suspiciously out of place. In the middle of nowhere, nearly an hour's walk from the village behind them, sat the most beautifully crafted bridge that Andrea had ever seen; the support pillars were delicately engraved with intricate celtic knot designs while the planks that made up the walkway appeared to be fashioned out of twisted roots.

"Never thought I'd say it, but I want to hear the story behind this bridge," Andrea commented.

"I'm not sure there is one," Kimberly replied. "If there is, I've never heard it."

Across the river was a peculiar looking forest; despite it being mid-Spring, the leaves of the trees were a golden auburn, splashed with hues of pink, purple and red. The bark of the trees was white and silver in color, notched with black spots, stripes and scars. Every now and then, a glowing light would flash somewhere among the tree trunks, then fade quickly. On the other side of the bridge was a sign:

Now entering the Spritewood

Yonder this point lie the Spritewood,
Home to the spirits of good!
Bring peace and harmony with you,
Or fortune will bid you adieu!

The sign certainly caught Andrea's attention. "Nevermind the bridge, I want to hear the story behind this forest!"

"I don't know how much of it is true, but when I was a young girl, I'd often read stories about this forest. Legend tells of the fairies..." Kimberly began.

"What, like Clefairy and Jigglypuff?"

"No, actually! Little magical people with wings supposedly lived in this area long ago, but they're gone now."

Andrea rolled her eyes at the suggestion. "Don't tell me you actually believe that sh... that stuff."

"It is difficult to believe, I must admit... I've been to this forest many times and I've yet to actually see a fairy, but why would such stories be made up?"

"To scare the nearby children, probably."

"But fairies aren't scary!" Kimberly stated matter-of-factly.

"Fairies also aren't real," she retorted.

Kimberly tried to explain the 'facts' about fairies, but Andrea wasn't interested, instead reaching into her purse to grab her phone. Realizing that she wasn't being paid any attention, Kimberly gave up. "Stick to your stuffy science, then..." she muttered quietly.

She ignored the snide comment and noticed that she had an unread message awaiting her:

Fr: Patrick Adelaide, 9:07 AM

'Just had a look at the photos you sent me. Interesting! Don't recognize those pictograms at all. I've forwarded your findings to someone who might know more. You're very proactive, keep up the good work!'
​

On the one hand, she was happy to see a bit of praise coming her way, but on the other, she was annoyed with him based on what the guard at the Oak had said about her. She tried to word her response in a non-combative way:

Fr: Andrea Dennison, 1:12 PM

'good to hear! btw we need to talk when i get back.'
​

A few minutes later, a reply came back:

Fr: Patrick Adelaide, 1:16 PM

'Oh? About what?'
​

Fr: Andrea Dennison, 1:17 PM

'i think you know'
​

Fr: Patrick Adelaide, 1:17 PM

'I don't think I do. If you're suggesting what I think you're suggesting it might be wise to remain professional for the time being.'
​

She grumbled as she read the last message and put her phone away. She couldn't tell if he was joking, deflecting or just plain ignorant of what she might be talking about, but she wasn't going to fall into what she assumed was a trap of some sort. It only made her more and more angry as she thought about it. She played each possible outcome through her head over and over again, becoming more and more wound up as she did so.

Kimberly could see her friend coming to a boil and was curious why. "What's the matter, friend?"

She snapped back into reality. "Huh? Oh, just my co-worker. I told him I want to talk in person and now he thinks I'm coming onto him."

"You're not, are you?"

"No!" she protested loudly, prompting a giggle from Kimberly. "Can we not talk about this?"

"We could talk about fairies again," Kimberly jokingly suggested, but it only resulted in a frustrated groan. "Do you happen to have a Pokédex? Something in this forest may interest you. It certainly interests me."

"If it's fairies--"

"It's not fairies, I assure you!"

Andrea raised her hand to head level and showed off her R-Kit. "This thing is similar to a Pokédex, actually, but it's much better. Dr. Reiland said that this thing is likely to replace those old things in the near future."

Kimberly marvelled at the R-Kit. "That? All this time, I thought it was a fancy watch."

"That's what I usually use it as..."

"Can you do a search for a Pokémon by the name of Eevee?"

She nodded. She tapped on the screen of her R-Kit, but it wasn't responding. Instead, the screen was a garbled mess of static and junk information that made practically no sense. "Uhh... I don't think I can. This thing is on the fritz." she said as she continued to try to navigate through its options. Even a customary violent shaking did little to solve her problem.

"How reliable," Kimberly commented.

"It usually is! Maybe I need to reset it somehow..." she said as she unstrapped it from her wrist. She began to examine it all over, looking for some sort of reset or power button, but couldn't find one.

"In any case, do you happen to know that this is one of Eevee's few natural habitats? When I was last here with Nicole, I had the fortune of finding one! I tried to capture it, but I... was less than successful."

Frustrated with the apparent lack of a reset button on her R-Kit, Andrea strapped it back onto her wrist. "Maybe we'll find one and you can have another shot at it."

Excitement welled within Kimberly. "Yes! That's my hope! However, they're quite elusive creatures... we may not be lucky enough to find one."

"That is a good point..." she sighed. "I remember when I was studying the concepts behind conservation efforts, Eevee came up as an example of something that's considered 'threatened' in the wild, but thriving in captivity."

"In captivity, yes. It has crossed my mind to just buy one... But they're quite expensive, even for me."

"How expensive, exactly?"

Kimberly dug through the depths of her memory to come up with a number. "It's been about nine months since I last checked, but I recall the price being somewhere around 740 golden roses."

She blinked at the thought. "S-seven hundred... Is that a serious number?"

Kimberly nodded.

"That sums up my student loan debt and then some, and I was told I wasn't going to pay that off for at least 30 years... How can people justify spending that much money on a Pokémon?!"

"Even I agree..."

"I guess that's why you hope to just catch one."

Kimberly nodded. "My only worry is finding one..."

She paused to think about the situation. "Perhaps when we get to Doranshire, you can come back and look for one? I probably won't need you by my side once I'm in town."

"Me? Alone?" Kimberly asked, then shook her head. "That won't work. I... It just wouldn't work."

Kimberly's vagueness perplexed her, but she didn't want to push the subject; the tone with which she spoke and her choice of words told Andrea that she was embarrassed about something, possibly a fear of being alone. "There might be someone in town who can help you. I'd do it myself, but... I've got work to do, unfortunately."

"If we don't find one by the time we reach town, there is always another time. I'm still young!"

Before long, they found themselves shrouded entirely in the forest, far from the coastline that they had followed since they left Aughrim. Sunlight bled through the golden and pastel-colored canopy, bathing the area in a warm glow, but a deceptive one; a crisp, chilling wind blew through the forest which caught the two off guard. Both had dressed lightly on the expectation that it would be warm. They both wondered why, as the morning weather forecast had called for temperatures to linger around 21°C. Andrea instinctively looked to her R-Kit for an explanation, only to be disappointed when she remembered that it wasn't working.

The two began to brainstorm some reasons for the sudden change in temperature. Kimberly jokingly suggested it was the work of the fairies that supposedly lived in the forest, bringing the area to a temperature of their liking. Andrea would have none of it and listed several reasonable explanations: Perhaps a certain species of Pokémon that is closely associated with the cold had been through the area recently. Maybe chilly air from the eastern mountains was being pushed downward and out to sea, blasting them with a frigid chill. Or, the most likely situation, the weatherman was simply wrong with his forecast. The two debated so energetically that they almost started to shout at each other and decided that it was best to remain quiet for awhile.

All along their journey, they kept their eyes peeled for an Eevee, but they found other things of interest instead. The flickering orbs of light that they had seen before they entered the forest were becoming a common sight. Andrea gingerly approached one to get a closer look at it. It didn't react to her presence in any way and instead continued to gently circle around one of the trees. Once again, disappointment filled Andrea as she raised her R-Kit to scan the anomaly, only to find that it still wasn't working. To stop herself from trying again, she unstrapped it from her wrist and placed it in her purse.

"You've been here before. Any idea what it is?"

Kimberly shook her head. "I haven't the foggiest idea. I've heard from an elderly woman in Doranshire that these are the spirits of the town's ancestors, but I'm not sure I'm ready to believe that."

"So it's not one of your fairies?"

"I understand if you don't appreciate the majesty of the unknown," Kimberly said with frustration. "But you don't have to be so difficult about it."

Andrea could tell that her new friend was growing impatient with her. "I didn't mean anything by it, I'm sorry." She looked back up at the orb of light as it gently danced around the tree above her; after a few moments, the orb flashed with a bright light and evaporated into nothingness, leaving nothing but a faint shower of blue sparkles. "Maybe we can come back out here sometime. When my R-Kit is fixed, I'm definitely getting a closer look at these things, because I want to know what they are."

"Are you thinking it may be related to your work in Doranshire?"

She shrugged. "Who's to say? Dr. Reiland told me about people seeing lights in the forest. I see lights in the forest right now."

"Sounds like you've found your first lead!"

"Whatever the case, we should focus on getting to town. I'll feel much better knowing I have someplace safe to work from."

- - - - -​

Right foot. Left foot. Right foot. Left foot.

That had been the march for nearly six uninterrupted hours, and yet the two were still deep within the Spritewood with no sign that they might be close to reaching the town of Doranshire. Exhaustion was beginning to take root within Andrea's sore legs and she pleaded for a bit of rest. She found a nice, large rock to take a break on and breathed a sigh of relief when she got some much needed time off her feet.

Kimberly pointed out the low-hanging sun that hid among the trees behind them. "Your fancy watch... It's capable of navigation, correct?"

She shook her head and unzipped her purse. As she dug through it, she said, "I just checked a few minutes ago. Still not working." With her phone in hand, she tried to see if that would work at all. Much to her surprise and joy, it did. "I've got a map on my phone, at least."

"Can it tell us how far away we are from Doranshire? We're going to run out of sunlight before we reach the village."

Andrea turned around and located the sun amongst the trees. "Shit..." she muttered softly. "Give me a second." She opened the map on her phone and plotted a course from their current location to their destination. After a few seconds of the app analyzing the most efficient trails to take, her heart dropped. They had only made it about half way.

"How far?" Kimberly asked.

"Uhh... Ten hours?" she sheepishly said, with a tone of panic in her voice. "This isn't good... I don't know the first thing about wilderness survival besides the basics."

"I did figure that, based on how lightly you've been travelling..." Kimberly commented.

"Why didn't you tell me this was going to take more than a day?!" she shouted.

"I did try to, but you--"

"What are we going to do?!" she asked. "I can't start a fire, or-or-or create a shelter! I don't know how to--" A faint Pokémon call echoed through the forest, causing her to spin around rapidly. "What was that?!"

Kimberly approached gingerly and grabbed ahold of her to calm her down. "Try to relax. I know enough to get us through the night, but I'll need your help."

Her eyes met with Kimberly's and she began to feel at ease. She never imagined that such a posh, spoiled and possibly sheltered girl could know anything about surviving in the wilderness, but the more she thought about it, the more reasonable it seemed. She often talked about her travels with her friend; while it was likely that her friend did all of the hard work, surely she must have learned a thing or two from watching. She took a deep breath and nodded.

"Thank you. Let's start by finding a place to set up camp. Quickly now, we don't have much time."

The two started their search by wandering off of the established trail. Kimberly explained the perfect spot to look for: flat, near a shady tree, and if possible, in an area without a lot of underbrush. It didn't take them long to find such a spot and the two made some initial preparations for their campsite by flattening the grass around them and setting up a small circle of stones.

Next came the problem of the campfire. Unfortunately for them, it was unseasonably chilly in the area, but on the bright side, it hadn't rained in recent days. Kimberly told Andrea to look for a few pieces of dry, fallen wood, ranging in size from small to large. "Don't stray too far, we don't know what's out there. I want to be able to see you at all times."

While her friend made some further adjustments to the campsite, Andrea started her search. There were lots of broken branches littered across the forest floor, and the possible reason for there being so many both intrigued and haunted her. It was most likely a wind storm that had knocked these branches to the floor, but the possibility of a large species of Pokémon being in the area crossed her mind. As she continued her gathering, she tried to put the thoughts out of mind, as they would only serve to distract her. After a circular sweep around the campsite, she returned with what she could find.

"That should do," Kimberly said. "Do you know how to actually start a fire?"

"Please tell me you do..."

With a smile, Kimberly nodded and reached down towards the ribbon that dangled from her hips. She grabbed Telandra's decorative Feline Ball and dropped it to the floor. With a bright flash of light, Telandra appeared in a puff of cartoon-like stars.

Andrea was confused. "How is a Skitty going to get a fire started for us?"

Kimberly knelt down beside Telandra and pointed at the pile of sticks. "We need fire, Telandra. Can you help us?" She stood back up and placed her arm in front of Andrea, guiding her backwards a few steps.

Telandra arched her back and growled. Sparks started to dance all throughout her bristling fur and with a bright flash of light, a bolt of lightning arced between her and the pile of sticks. Smoke billowed from the sticks and a glowing, orange ember flickered at the bottom.

Andrea shook her head in disbelief and blinked a few times. "That's... rather fortunate for us, I suppose..." she started. "But you're going to have to tell me one of these days how Telandra can do something like that."

Kimberly dropped her backpack to the ground and took a seat beside the growing fire. Telandra instantly claimed her lap and curled up on it. "What do you mean?"

Andrea took a seat near the fire as well. "When I was working on my degree, we covered the capabilities of different Pokémon in very deep detail. Skitty is an example of a Pokémon that doesn't... It can't..." She began to stumble with her words as she tried to explain it. "Take Charmander for example. Everyone knows that it breathes fire. What is Skitty known for? Clawing and biting people. What I want to know is... how is yours able to control forces such as ice and lightning?"

Kimberly tried to think of an explanation, but couldn't. "You're the one with a scientific background. If anyone should know, it should be you."

"Unfortunately, it's beyond me," she said. "I've heard of Pokémon displaying remarkable abilities that they shouldn't have, but there has never been any actual scientific research on the subject."

"No research? Why not?"

"There hasn't been an opportunity. In the past hundred years, there were only two or three recorded instances of this that I've read about, and none of them could be verified. Your Skitty is the first--"

Kimberly raised her finger to stop her friend. "If you're suggesting you'd like to take my Telandra back to your lab and experiment on her, you can forget it. I swore to protect her, just as she protects me."

"No! That's not what I was suggesting! That would only take a few days to do, most likely, but I don't want to take her from you." she explained. "It's just... maybe I'll keep my mouth shut, it seems I've been making you angry all day."

"I know you don't mean anything bad by it all, but perhaps we can save this discussion for later," Kimberly said with a yawn. "I am growing a wee bit tired and it would be wise to get an early start tomorrow. I think it's time for bed."

She nodded. "Good idea."

 

[Beth Pavell]

Andrea's certainly turning out to be a less-than noble personality. It really doesn't take a lot for her to start getting snide. Or actually defensive in general - I'm wondering how long it's going to take for her attitude towards Patrick to backfire on her

 

[Deleted member 72389]

This is the first story I read on this forum and honestly it's so good! Andrea and Kimberly are very interesting characters and their interactions are fun to read. Also I like the different mysteries in this world. From the Pokémon shown in the earlier chapters to the massive Oak tree and now the light orbs all the mysteries are interesting. Even Kimberly's Skitty has a mystery surrounding her powers which I think would make for an interesting plotline.

Oh, and I also liked the Pokémon Contest which happened a few chapters earlier. I think Kimberley's loss would make for some great character development which would help her to win later.

There were also very few typos and grammatical errors. The flow of writing is very good and I think you have a good command over English language.

All in all this was a very interesting read and I am definitely looking forward to reading more.

 

[Misfit Angel]

Land of the Roses
Chapter 15: Darkest Night

The crackling sound of a dying campfire was all that could be heard in the silence of the darkened forest. Flickering flames swept up towards the sky and sparks showered down to the ground with every pop of the wood. The light had attracted the attention of just about every insect in the entire forest, Andrea had thought, who swatted away at the growing cloud of gnats and flies. She lamented the fact that she hadn't brought a can of bug spray with her. Moreover, she chastised herself for being wholly unprepared for a night in the wild.

She refused to be distracted, however; she was nearing the end of another chapter of her digital novel. As she 'turned' the page on her phone, a tear began to form in the corner of her eye. She shook her head as she continued to read, finally coming to the conclusion. "You should have never gotten in the way, Trip... And now she's gone."

With the chapter of her novel complete, Andrea stretched, yawned and checked the time: 11:23 PM. She crawled over to her backpack and purse, taking care not to make too much noise, and put her phone away. She grabbed the backpack and brought it back to where she was and placed it down with the intention of using it as a pillow. Unfortunately, it was very uncomfortable and she had difficulty falling asleep.

Several minutes passed by in relative silence until a faint sound came from somewhere in the forest: the slow and repetitive sound of old, crunchy leaves and snapping branches. A deep guttural moaning soon followed. Andrea opened her eyes and cautiously looked around, but she couldn't see anything through the darkness. She figured that it was just exhaustion playing tricks on her mind and she closed her eyes once more.

SNAP! It happened again. As before, deep moaning accompanied the sound of the branch snapping.

This time, Andrea sat up to look around, but it did little to help the fact that the forest was too dark to see anything. "H-hello?" she sheepishly called out.

No response. Just a dark, empty and silent forest, nothing more.

She reached for her purse and opened it, then grabbed her R-Kit from within. She turned the screen on in the hopes that it might have fixed itself by now, but unfortunately it was just as broken as ever, if not more so. Rather than a static and garbled mess of pixels, the screen rapidly flashed with all sorts of seemingly random and obviously incorrect information.

"Rrrrrruuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrgggghhhlhh"

She was thoroughly freaked out by now and crawled over to Kimberly's side of the camp as fast as she could. She grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her. "Kim? Kim, wake up!"

Kimberly stirred in her sleep and opened her eyes. "Huh? Nicole?" she asked. She tilted her head to the side and thought for a second. "Wait, you're not Nicole... What is it?"

"There's something out in the forest and I don't know what it is!" she said as she looked around like a paranoid schizophrenic.

Kimberly sat up. "What are you talking about?" The tone of her voice suggested annoyance, as if she didn't believe whatever crazy thing her friend was talking about.

"Listen carefully!"

Several moments passed in silence, but eventually, another branch snapped and echoed against the trees.

"What the hell is that?"

Kimberly dismissed her thoughts readily, based on nearly a year of practical prior experience. "It's probably just some wildlife, go back to bed." She laid back down and found a comfortable position once again. "It won't approach the fire, you have nothing to worry about."

Andrea crawled back to her side of the camp and began to dig through her purse for her phone. "...nothing to worry about..." she muttered quietly. "...gonna get us killed..." As she did so, another deep, rumbling groan rang out from the darkness.

This time, Kimberly heard it and she immediately sat up. "That's... that's not the wildlife." she coldly said. She reached down for the Master Ball that dangled from her hip and gripped it tightly.

"Then what is it?"

Kimberly shook her head. "I don't know, but I don't like it." She tossed the Master Ball to the other end of the camp, causing it to explode with a burst of bubbles that glistened in the firelight. Juliano appeared and sat next to the fire.

As terrifying as the unknown sound was, it captivated Andrea's curiosity. She wanted to know what the sound was, what was making it, and whether it may be a threat or not. After all, it was possible that they were worried about nothing. "Think we should check it out?"

"Absolutely not," Kimberly adamantly said. "We should stay by the fire. It's safer here and we can see what we're doing."

"That's probably a good idea..." she concluded. "Are you certain you don't know what it is?"

"Yes. I've never heard a sound like that in my life."

"Great..." She shook her head as she thought of what to do. She thought that Dr. Reiland might have some valuable advice, but plans to call her were immediately dashed since it was quite late at night. She defaulted to Patrick as her next choice. As she dialed his number, more branches snapped in the distance, followed by another deep and drone-like groan. Her pace quickened and she waited impatiently for an answer.

The phone rang five times before he finally answered. "Hello?"

"Hey, Patrick?" she asked.

"That's me. Who is this?"

"It's Andrea, your new employee."

"Oh! Right, yeah. Still getting used to your voice." he said. "Why are you calling this late? Does this have something to do with... well..."

"Now is not the time!" she snapped. "I need some help."

"Sure, what can I do for you?"

"I'm camped out in the middle of a forest called the Spritewood... I need some information about it." she said.

"You do remember that you can find information pretty easily with your R-Kit, right?" he asked. "I'm sure whatever you need can be found with it."

"It's not working! The screen is just static and none of the buttons are doing anything!" Another branch snapped in the distance, this time much louder than before. A gurgling moan followed soon after. "Just help me, please. I need to know if there have been any strange sightings in the forest."

"Huh... yeah, give me a minute," he said. There was a long pause in the conversation. "Strange how? I need to know what to look for, first."

She watched as Juliano approached the edge of the camp, inching closer to where the sounds had been originating from. "There's something out there and it doesn't sound friendly. It's making the creepiest moaning noises and it sounds like it's getting closer. This girl I'm with is convinced it's not the local wildlife."

"Let's see... strange sightings... Spritewood..." Another long pause. "I'm not finding anything, other than the presence of orbs of light often seen during the day. You seen any of those? Might be worth looking at! As far as wildlife is concerned, it's mostly birds... You know, Pidgeys, Hoot-Hoots, Taillows. Mammals include Stantlers, Eevees, Sentrets, Cubones, even a feral Ponyta has been seen in the area every now and then. There's not much else out there."

"And none of those make moaning sounds like what I'm hearing..." she mumbled.

"That girl you're with, she's a Pokémon trainer, right?"

"She is."

"What's she got with her?"

"A Blastoise."

"Pffft! You'll be fine, then! Call me when you get to town and I'll walk you through the steps involved in resetting your R-Kit."

"Can't we do it now?" she asked. Another chilling moan echoed through the forest. "I'd really like to know what I'm up against."

"I'd like to help, but it's a lengthy process and you don't have the tools on hand," he said. He could almost sense that his words did little to comfort her, so he added, "If you happen to find whatever is making your mystery noise, document it the old fashioned way. You're perfectly capable of doing that."

She sighed.

"Anything else I can help with?"

"No, that's all."

"Stay safe out there. Get in touch soon." The phone clicked and the call ended.

She lowered her phone into her lap. "Well! He was no help." She stood up and gingerly approached the edge of the camp, then strained to see through the darkness around her, but the lack of ambient light made it impossible to see anything. She debated it for a moment before throwing caution to the wind. "Hello?" she called out. "If anyone is out there, please say something!"

The gurgling moan returned, this time ending with a gravelly howl.

"What are you doing?!" Kimberly whispered loudly.

"If this is some sort of a prank, ha ha! Very funny! You got us!" she shouted.

For a few seconds, the forest was silent, silence that was broken with a very loud clicking noise. Before she knew it, Andrea's left leg had buckled under her, sending her tumbling to the forest floor. Sharp pain shot through her lower body in radiating waves, centered around her inner thigh. Her painful shout prompted quick action from Kimberly, who rushed over to help her back onto her feet.

"The fuck was that?!" she grumbled.

Another loud click echoed through the forest and the sound of a fast moving projectile whizzed past their heads.

She instinctively pointed out a large tree just a few feet away. "Quick, behind that tree! Go!"

The two took cover behind the tree and hunkered down. Kimberly made some hand gestures towards Juliano and he charged towards the tree as fast as he could. He stood firm next to the tree, turning his hardened shell towards the source of the clicking noise. Meanwhile, Andrea struggled against the darkness to see just what had happened. She ran her hand up her leg and felt a deep cut halfway up her thigh. When she pulled her hand back, she found that it was covered in blood.

"Fffffff...fudge!" she struggled to squeeze out as she inspected her wound. "What do we do?!"

Kimberly took a brief moment to formulate a plan. "We have to stand our ground against whatever is out there. You're in no condition to go anywhere."

She compressed her wound as best as she could, shaking from the pain. "You sure you and your Blastoise can--"

"Hush with those thoughts, friend," Kimberly said. She noticed Andrea's heavy shaking and grabbed her by the shoulder. "Come now! Deep, steady breathing! That'll help with the pain."

Kimberly stood up and gingerly approached her Blastoise. Their eyes met and they both nodded at each other. He matched her movements almost perfectly, keeping her shielded from any potential attack as she made her way towards her backpack on the other end of the camp. She reached down and dug through the largest section of the backpack until she found what she was looking for: a box of first aid supplies. She was certain it wouldn't be enough to fix her friend up, but it would have to do.

As the two made their way back towards Andrea, the clicking noise returned, this time in a burst of three. The sound of three projectiles bouncing off of Juliano's shell were very crisp and clear against the relative silence of the forest. He turned around and growled in the general direction that the projectiles came from, still making sure to shield his master from further attack.

"Stay focused, Juliano, don't leave our side!" she ordered as she knelt down and opened the first aid kit.

He obeyed the order and took his position next to the tree, turning his shell back towards the source of the projectiles.

She returned her attention to Andrea and rolled up the hem of her dress to get a closer look at the wound. Whatever had hit her sailed straight through and left a precise, almost surgical cut about half an inch deep into her skin. "Get ready, I'm about to apply some disinfectant." she said as she poured a bottle of clear liquid onto a small piece of cloth.

As soon as the cloth made contact with her skin, Andrea jumped in pain. She tried as hard as she could to contain it, but a stream of vulgar obscenities and insults directed at Kimberly escaped from her mouth. Despite the outburst, she was grateful for the assistance. A thick layering of gauze was wrapped around her leg several times; a sloppy job, but Kimberly was far from an expert in first aid.

She shook her head. "I did the best that I could, friend. We need to get you to a real doctor tomorrow."

Andrea wasn't interested in the platitudes; instead, a peculiar sound held her attention, the sound of nearby footfalls. "You hear that?" she asked as she struggled her way over towards Juliano's side. What she saw sent chills down her spine. "Uhhh! What is THAT?!"

A humanoid figure, roughly four feet tall, lumbered out of the shadows, dimly lit by the light of the campfire. The fragile-looking figure appeared to be constructed entirely out of old, mismatched bones. Where its arms should have been were two wickedly curved blades, fashioned out of sharpened bits of bone, all held together by a twisting network of glowing purple tendrils. Bits of dead flesh hung from the joints in the creature's frame, and the stench of decay that lingered in its wake was ferocious and overpowering.

Kimberly shrieked in horror as her eyes met the gruesome creature's figure and toppled over like a tree in the wind, fainting before she even hit the forest floor.

The creature's jaw opened and it let out a shrill screeching sound, then leapt through the air with surprising agility. Juliano responded with his own uncharacteristic speed, placing himself between the bone creature and its target, his incapacitated master. The aberration landed on his back and raised its scythe-like arms, then let loose a barrage of quick and wild strikes. Luckily, the creature attempted to strike at his hardened shell and did very little besides leave a few cosmetic scratches behind.

Andrea crawled over towards Kimberly and tried to lift her up. "C'mon, c'mon, c'moooon, we have to go!" Andrea pleaded as she struggled. However, the pain from her leg wound made it much too agonizing and difficult to drag her friend away.

Juliano tried as hard as he could to reach the creature, but his stubby arms wouldn't reach above his head. Instead, he went with the next best plan: he turned his back to the tree and rushed backwards as fast as he could. The creature smashed apart from the impact and shattered pieces of bone rained down over a wide area. The faint purple light that glimmered on the tendrils that held the creature together flashed brightly before fading altogether. With the threat taken care of, he hurried to his master's side to check on her.

"It's okay, I think she just fainted. I can't find any injuries." Andrea said, trying to comfort the Blastoise. She looked back at the tree, still splattered with a bit of decaying flesh that had a bone chunk embedded in it. "What the hell was that thing? I've never seen anything like it, never heard of anything like it!"

Juliano could do little more than shrug. He, too, had never experienced anything similar.

"Think there's more of those things out there?"

Again, all he did was shrug. He reached under Kimberly's back and legs and picked her up, then brought her back towards the campsite.

Andrea followed, stumbling on her injured leg. She found another tree to rest against and let out a deep breath as she fell to the ground. Thoughts began to race through her mind: What was that creature? Where did it come from? In all her years of studying biology, nothing like it was ever touched upon by any of her professors, her books or her independent reading. The closest thing that came to mind was a peculiar and little-known species by the name of Duskull, but that clearly wasn't a Duskull. She began to make early conclusions and mental notes based on what little she had seen of the creature when she remembered what Patrick had said:

Document it the old fashioned way. You're perfectly capable of doing that.

She struggled her way to her feet and cautiously approached the splattered remains, still dangling from the tree. There was little information to be taken from the mess that Juliano left behind; to her, it was just a piece of decaying flesh with a jagged shard of broken bone wedged in it. Still, the peculiar tendrils that once glowed with a purple light stuck out. As little as she wanted to, she took a picture of the horrifying sight. She had a little exploration around the camp, identifying several more bone fragments that came from the creature. They all had lingering remnants of the tendril system still attached to them, further evidence of this creature's unbelievable existence.

Eventually, the pain from walking around grew to be too much and she returned to her spot beside the fire. Kimberly was still unconscious, Juliano maintaining a patient vigil over her. She rested her head on her backpack and closed her eyes, ready to finally get to sleep. She did what she could to empty her mind of her thoughts; between the exhaustion and the excitement, they had started to make very little logical sense, and she knew it was a waste of time to think about it any further.

It took some time, but she finally fell asleep.

 

[Flaze]

Well, after years upon years since I last read this fic properly, I'm finally up to date and I have some thoughts.

Kimberly and Adnrea's relationship in this fic is really different than it was in Storm Island for one, mainly because in SI Kimberly was already a established Coordinator and Andrea had already gone through some developtment, plus they were slightly different than they are here. I don't mind it (it doesn't affect me shipping them), but it was just something I wanted to point out cause their personalities definetily do clash.

Moving away from the characters for a bit though, I wanted to talk about your Interludes. Should they really come off as Interludes? The first one I can take sinc eyou can get all of the info in the next chapter anyway. But the end of chapter 11 and the start of chapter 12 makes no sense unless you read Interlude 2, which is as long as a normal chapter, fucoses on Andrea and directly comes after the events of chapter eleven. I don't know, I just don't think that particular entry should've been an interlude if it was so important.

Now, taking things down by the arcs then I have to say...I kind of didn't dig the contest arc. The appeals felt a little long and while the ideas were great I don't think the description quite held up during that part. The thing with the stripper was funny and it's certainly and amusing way of looking at how a contest appeal could be taken. What I did like was that Kimberly didn't get far and that both she and other contestants made very obvious mess ups. I say that cause in the anime most coordinators or performers don't really mess up unless it's something really bad or if they're bound to mess up by way of the plot.

As for Andrea's and Kimberly's travels, I've already talked about what I liked the most of that arc above. I also like that we went back to the focus on world building, but also that there's some more conflict going on with Andrea now that she knows that Patrick didn't really leave a glowing review of her after their first mission.

ANd of course, you just hav eto add a new chapter as I'm typing this

Anyway, the newest chapter kind of reminded me of both Kim and Andrea's travel arc in SI as well as when Andrea went through the woods, dark woods surrounded by weird creators along with two girls who have to barely survive through it? Plus there's always a moment where Kimberly is put out of commission. I also noticed that Kimberly can get quite a more serious here.

Anyways, whatever that was I'm glad that we're starting to get more signs of a plot, because I'm afraid of this story going through the same problem SI could sometimes go through, that being the arcs getting stale and dragging.

Anyways, I'll be reading so keep it up!

 

[Misfit Angel]

Well, after years upon years since I last read this fic properly, I'm finally up to date and I have some thoughts.

I was wondering where you went!

Kimberly and Adnrea's relationship in this fic is really different than it was in Storm Island for one, mainly because in SI Kimberly was already a established Coordinator and Andrea had already gone through some developtment, plus they were slightly different than they are here. I don't mind it (it doesn't affect me shipping them), but it was just something I wanted to point out cause their personalities definetily do clash.

Yeah, I'm trying to put a bit more distance between them compared to how they were in Storm Island. When I was first thinking about rebooting SI and eventually settled on starting Land of the Roses, I asked @Caitlin; what her biggest problem with that story was, and it was how Kimberly had come out of nowhere and instantly bonded with Andrea. I guess she already has in a way here, too, with how desperate she appeared to have Andrea attend the contest, but I'm also trying to drive a few wedges between them for future development... and maybe so what happens to them this time isn't a carbon copy of what happened last time.

Moving away from the characters for a bit though, I wanted to talk about your Interludes. Should they really come off as Interludes? The first one I can take sinc eyou can get all of the info in the next chapter anyway. But the end of chapter 11 and the start of chapter 12 makes no sense unless you read Interlude 2, which is as long as a normal chapter, fucoses on Andrea and directly comes after the events of chapter eleven. I don't know, I just don't think that particular entry should've been an interlude if it was so important.

I may be using the term 'interlude' incorrectly. What these chapters are intended to be are bridges between the different arcs; wrap up the old one and start a new one. I'm not sure if it's common to skip interlude chapters in other works of fiction, but that isn't the intention here.

I guess they're supposed to be short, but I struggle to do short, it seems.

Now, taking things down by the arcs then I have to say...I kind of didn't dig the contest arc. The appeals felt a little long and while the ideas were great I don't think the description quite held up during that part.

Yeah, I'm feeling the same. I did take a lot of lessons away from the horrible first attempt I had in Storm Island and applied them here, but I still don't quite think I can do it. Writing a coordination contest is very difficult and I'm dreading the next one...

The thing with the stripper was funny and it's certainly and amusing way of looking at how a contest appeal could be taken.

Glad you liked it, I was really worried it wouldn't strike a chord with anyone.

but also that there's some more conflict going on with Andrea now that she knows that Patrick didn't really leave a glowing review of her after their first mission

I hope you like what I'm building towards with them!

as well as when Andrea went through the woods, dark woods surrounded by weird creators along with two girls who have to barely survive through it?

It really bugged me how badly I bungled that arc in Storm Island. This is my chance to make it right by revisiting some of the ideas from that.

Anyways, whatever that was I'm glad that we're starting to get more signs of a plot, because I'm afraid of this story going through the same problem SI could sometimes go through, that being the arcs getting stale and dragging.

I'm hoping that won't be a problem this time around. The problem with SI was that the plot remained mostly the same for nearly 25 chapters: get home. Things are definitely going to be broken up, and I've given myself a hard cap of seven chapters per arc to help push things along and keep things interested. Of course, that's not to say that the plot will switch every 5 to 7 chapters, just the focus on little mini stories.