COMPLETE: "Look" (TEEN)

[some colour no doubt]

Re: "Look" ( Chapter 21 up now! Comments welcome!)

Very nice!

I only picked out one grammar error

“Yep. In a few month you’ll always do missions alone. This will give you experience.”

I guess you meant months

As for the plot, its great! Especially showing different dialects between different regions. Your description if the network machine in the poké centre was pretty darn good as well.

 

[RaccoonGoon]

Re: "Look" ( Chapter 21 up now! Comments welcome!)

Thanks!

Chapter 22 in the works.

 

[RaccoonGoon]

Re: "Look" ( Chapter 21 up now! Comments welcome!)

“Look”
Chapter 22, Saga 3.
By RaccoonGoon.​

The Sevii Islands were stunningly beautiful. The clear blue water, the lush green trees that flourished with life, and the wide, almost cloudless sky that seemed to stretch on forever. The warm air combated the cool breeze, causing a very comfortable temperature- Not to hot, not to cold.

Looker was on the deck of the Island’s ferry, speeding by the different islands. He zipped by Two Island in a few minutes. He wondered how Stan would do. In a few more minutes Three Island was behind him, growing smaller as Four Island approached.

After passing Four Island, the ferry took a turn to the South and continued to make its way to Five Island. The excitement grew within Looker. This was the first time he might have to make an arrest, his first time he might see some real action, his first time as an IP Agent doing something alone….Well, not really alone, he had Croagunk.

He tapped the spherical container inside his coat pocket.

“We might have to get roughed up a bit, buddy.”

Croagunk wiggled inside his Pokeball. He was just as excited.

The ferry slowed to a stop in front of the entrance dock. Thanking the captain, he un-boarded the ferry and made his way to land. Five Island, called Chrono Island to natives, had the standard PokeCenter, a few houses, and much to Looker’s surprise, a meadow, overgrowing with grass and trees. That would be a good spot to hide.

“Better ask around for more information first…”

PokeCenters, he had learned, were great for information. Stan had used the one in Vermillion to get to the Sevii Islands, he had used the center on One Island to get to Five Island. Now, he was going to use one to get ahead of this case.

Once inside the red-roofed building, he walked up to the front counter where a young man, no older than 8 was waiting. Behind the counter, Nurse Joy was clicking and pushing a few small buttons, bringing the healing machine to life.

“Is my Sentret going to be ok?” the boy asked, voice ridden with worry.

“He’ll be just fine.”

Looker took a step back, monitoring the scene unfold.

Nurse Joy then placed the Pokeball, apparently holding the injured Pokemon, onto the machine, allowing the machine to pump new energy into the Pokemon.

“There we go, back to full health!” the cheery woman said, handing back the boy’s Sentret.

“Thanks!” The boy instantly released his Normal Type Pokemon and scooped it up in his arms.

“Oh Sentret, we’ll show those punks with Skarmory a thing or two!”

Looker stepped forward and kneeled to eye level with the boy.

“Excuse me, but did you say men with Skarmory hurt your Sentret?”

The boy, surprised an adult would talk to him, nodded nervously.

“Yep. They also attacked my mom and her friend and stole their money.”

It had to be related to the group of men that attacked Pewter. The museum was attacked, the men flew away, and now incidents were happening here. It all added up. Looker was sure that they were hot on their trail.

“Can you take me to the last place you saw them?”

“Sure mister. Follow me.”

The boy returned Sentret and scampered out the PokeCenter.

“That’s my house.” The boy pointed to a quaint little house next to the PokeCenter as the two walked East.

“Mh-hm.”

What thugs would attack a small boy? That was just plain cruel. But, Looker had known this world was cruel since he was fourteen. Since his father had died from being attacked by some thug. This boy was lucky he hadn’t been killed. Suddenly, this case just became a little personal.

The two stopped right outside Five Island Meadow. Tall trees reached into the blue sky, the grass hid many wild Pokemon, and Hoppips were drifting with the breeze. It was a relaxing sight, really.

“After they attacked Sentret and stole my mom’s purse they ran into the meadow.”

Looker placed his thumb and forefinger on his chin, allowing him to think.

“Ok, I need you to go home and stay with your mother. I’ll be back with her purse and the bad men will be caught, ok?”

The boy obediently nodded.

“Wanna take Sentret to help? He’ll take down those Skarmory and their Trainers! He’ll-”

“No thanks, he should stay with you.”

And with that, he entered Five Island Meadow.

----------------------------------------------

“This must be it…..”

Stan was standing under the beating sun, gazing down at an aged man hole port. It had a few blotches of orange rust around the edges, the steel wasn’t as gleaming as it was decades ago. Grass nearly grew up around it, almost covering it from sight. It was a lucky tip that Stan even found the entrance to the old military bunker.

“Well, “ he began, crouching down and lifting the heavy cover “Lets see what kind of vermin we find this time…”

He dropped down into the underground bunker, instantly tasting the dried, musty air. He landed on the concrete floor and stood still, letting his eyes adjust to the light. It was dark in the bunker except a small light coming from the southern end. Another room with voices coming from it.

Carefully making his way to the second room, he grabbed Staraptor’s Pokeball and easily withdrew it from his pocket. Once he reached the door frame he crouched down and peeked into the lit room. There were five men, all in identical grey uniforms and flight caps, lounging on the cots. He had found the group that had ransacked the Pewter Museum.

Stan smirked, raised up, and entered the room without hesitation. The five uniformed men turned around, startled.

“Ok, the jig is up.”

With one hand he held up Staraptor’s Pokeball and with the other he held up his IP badge.

“Now come with me. Your all under arrest.”

Rex, painfully raised up and grimaced at the IP Officer.

“Heh, it’s five of us against one of you. We’ll slaughter you!”

With that the other four members of Team Spade threw out their own Pokemon. Suddenly, the room was full of Skarmory, all screeching out their cries. The Spade grunts moved in forward while Rex moved back, making sure his Skarmory wouldn’t see combat. Like a coward.

The men and their Skarmory moved another step forward. Stan wasn’t worried though. He adjusted his shades on his face, cracked his knuckles, and kicked some dirt off his shoes. When the mighty steel skinned Pokemon were two feet away he tossed down the Pokeball he was holding, releasing his Predator Pokemon .

“Ok Staraptor, Close Combat one those tin-foil Torchics!”

As soon as the command was given, the Normal/Flying Type took off, mighty talons outstretched, and rammed into two of the enemy Pokemon. Using it’s talons, wings, and beak it thrashed at them. It looked like he was actually punching them with his talons as the Skarmory’s hide bent, steel feathers fell loose, and still Staraptor fought on. Finally, it let off the two badly damaged Pokemon. They would need a long healing before they flew again.

“Haheh! Good job! Two of ‘em down!”

Bob and Lou returned their mangled mess of Pokemon and backed up, shocked they were beaten so quickly.

“Feh! Let’s see if your overgrown Pidgey can handle this! Steel Wing!” Rod spat out, nervously jumping up and down.

Skarmory’s feathers fanned out and began to shine. It flew towards the larger Pokemon, hoping to connect it’s ultra-hard wings to the others face.

“Easy” Stan replied. “Brave Bird!”

Staraptor squawked and began to glow, a powerful energy over taking him. As soon as it’s whole body was covered in the blue energy he took off, straight for the approaching Skarmory. Neither Pokemon pulled up, neither of them was going to give up. The two collided and the force of the impact covered the room in smoke.

When the smoke cleared, Staraptor was standing over the third mangled Skarmory of the battle. The Normal/Flying Type was getting tired. It’s feathers were ruffled, it’s wings were tired. It couldn’t take much more.

Rod withdrew his defeated Skarmory and scampered under a cot, holding the Pokeball close. While all this was taking place, Rex slinked his hand into his pocket and clasped his Sandslash’s Pokeball with his thin fingers. He slowly crouched down and clicked the release button, and his ferocious Ground Type was pulsed out in a flash.

“Sandslash, Dig around beneath this concrete, go behind that Officer, and use Rock Throw. Don’t hold back.”

The Mouse Pokemon nodded and began clawing away at the concrete, crushing it. Meanwhile, the battle raged on.

“Good job Staraptor! Think you could handle that last Skarmory with a Take Down?”

Staraptor looked back at it’s trainer and nodded before throwing itself at the last enemy Pokemon, connecting right in the center of it’s steel body, instantly knocking it out cold.
Mel growled under his breath and returned his Pokemon.

“Awesome! You’re all out of Pokemon, aren’t you? Haheh!”

Stan began to walk forward to the supposedly defeated Team Spade, proud look on his face. Staraptor walked by his side. Something threw him off step, however. Something…Something beneath him!

A rumbling made his way to the entrance of the room, and instantly burst through the concrete, sending cement chunks everywhere. Sandslash, malice in it’s eyes, had a large, jagged rock in it’s claws. Stan spun around in terror.

“Where did that come from?”

Before he received an answer, the Sandslash threw the rock at full force at Stan, aiming for his head. The rock grew bigger as it approached, there was no way he could dodge it now. His head was going to be taken off by it. He wa-

Suddenly, Staraptor threw itself in front of the flying rock, taking the attack head on for Stan. The rock shattered on Staraptor’s side, causing a great deal of pain to surge through the Pokemon. Staraptor fell on the ground in front of Stan’s feet. His Pokemon had just saved his life…it really cared for him.

With a tone of sorrow and gratitude he said “Thank you, Staraptor…” and returned his fallen Pokemon. Sandslash had long since returned to his Trainers side, pleased that it at least hurt his Pokemon.

“Hey Mel, “ Rex began. “Get out your Mightyena. We’ll take turns tearing this guy apart.”

Mel obliged and threw out his Dark Type Pokemon. This wasn’t looking good, and Stan knew it. But he still had one Pokemon left, one that he knew he had to uses.

“Hate to be a downer you guys, but….” he plucked another Pokeball from his pocket. “I still have my strongest Pokemon left to fight with.”

Before anymore was said, Stan tossed down the Pokeball. In a flash of bright light, a feline-like Pokemon stood. It had cream colored fur, with a purple tuft of fur at the tip of it’s tail. Purple fur also covered it’s ears and around it’s neck, making a prim collar of sorts. The eyes of the Pokemon sparkled, examining the surroundings. A Delcatty.
“HAW! You expect to beat both of us with that thing! That poor excuse belongs in a Pokemon Contest! We’ll tear it to shreds!”

Stan and Delcatty ignored the taunts.

“Hey Delcatty?”

Delcatty turned and faced it’s trainer.

“Del? Catty del?”

“Rip those two to shreds.”

--------------------------------------------------------------

Yes, it was a Delcatty!

Well, thank you all for reading! Feel free to leave any comment, tips, or criticism.

Expect Chapter 23 in a week or so.

 

[Ian D.]

Re: "Look" ( Chapter 22 up now! Comments welcome!)

“Easy” Stan replied. “Brave Bird!”

Comma should be after easy, before the quotation. Think this was just a mistake, though. =p

Intense chapter!

Staraptor saved Stan's life. How sweet. I hope he's nothing more than hurt.

Before anymore was said, Stan tossed down the Pokeball. In a flash of bright light, a feline-like Pokemon stood. It had cream colored fur, with a purple tuft of fur at the tip of it’s tail. Purple fur also covered it’s ears and around it’s neck, making a prim collar of sorts. The eyes of the Pokemon sparkled, examining the surroundings. A Delcatty.
“HAW! You expect to beat both of us with that thing! That poor excuse belongs in a Pokemon Contest! We’ll tear it to shreds!”

Stan and Delcatty ignored the taunts.

“Hey Delcatty?”

Delcatty turned and faced it’s trainer.

“Del? Catty del?”

“Rip those two to shreds.”

Oh crap. Scary. ;-; I wouldn't mess with a Delcatty. Those little bastards are frightening...

 

[Rob Anybody]

Re: "Look" ( Chapter 22 up now! Comments welcome!)

It may be cute, but, I wouldn't wanna get on a Delcatty's bad side...

 

[some colour no doubt]

Re: "Look" ( Chapter 22 up now! Comments welcome!)

And his most powerful pokémon issss...
Delcatty. haha

Another great chapter, didn't pick out any major faults, and I can't wait to see these guys get owned by Delcatty!

 

[RaccoonGoon]

Re: "Look" ( Chapter 22 up now! Comments welcome!)

Thanks for the comments guys! I thought him having a Delcatty would be a silly but nice touch.

 

[VirtualAnomaly]

Re: "Look" ( Chapter 22 up now! Comments welcome!)

Overall, great story. Sorry it took so long for me to get to it. I've really been missing out lol. Anyway, great story man.

 

[RaccoonGoon]

Re: "Look" ( Chapter 22 up now! Comments welcome!)

Thanks pal! And it's awesome that you joined!

 

[RaccoonGoon]

Re: "Look" ( Chapter 22 up now! Comments welcome!)

New rule: I’m not going to promise when a new chapter will be out. I missed my week update, and that resulted in writer’s black. So I’ll try to get a new chapter up regularly, but as of now I’m not going to say, I’ll just put a mental timeframe on myself.

Well, here’s Chapter 23 of Look. It was a fun chapter to write once I got into it. I hope you all enjoy it.

“Look”
Chapter 23, Saga 3
By RaccoonGoon.​

-------------------------------

The Sevii Islands were stunning, to say the least. Lush, green plant life decorated the land. Vivid, blue waters surrounded the islands and reached on to distant lands. The sky, the wide, grand sky was dotted with small puffy clouds, providing a tiny amount of shade in certain areas. Looker was almost enjoying the weather.

Or, he would have been enjoying the nice climate if he wasn’t thinking of his upcoming task. Through the trees an outline of a building was coming into view. Looker’s shoulders brushed against branches and tree trunks while his eyes lead him closer to the plain looking building, his interest propelling him. It was a metal warehouse with light green markings on the side.

“This must be from the Old War….” he whispered to himself.

Squatting down he hastily pulled out his notepad and scratched out a few things, all the while keeping his gaze on the warehouse. The two suspects had to be in there, it was the only shelter in the whole meadow. It was well hidden, however. A wall of trees was shielding it from view. Were the trees planted there for that reason? Had the trees just grown around it naturally?

Looker shook his head and stood up. He didn’t have time to worry about trees. He grabbed Croagunk’s Pokeball and tossed it out in front of him. Croagunk stretched his arms and turned to his trainer.

“Croa.”

“Ok buddy, I have a hunch the men we’re looking for are hiding in that old warehouse. We have to go in there and take a look.”

The two nodded at one another and carefully began to creep towards the seemingly normal building. The metal walls were worn and speckled with dust and dirt. The nuts and bolts were rusted, and small cracks and openings were beginning to form in-between the metal sheets. Looker and Croagunk scanned the West wall until he found a window. Thinking out his plan on last time he slowly peered inside.

The interior of the building was fairly normal looking. Formal looking squares tiled the floors, a cluster of cubicles and offices were near the far side of the buildings, and against the back wall were various jail cells, apparently used for holding insubordinate soldiers or criminals. Right by the main doors was a old black board along with an ancient looking film projector. Looker was amazed this place had once been used for war. It was so…old.

A faint light caught his eye. It was coming from the office area. People were in there, Looker knew it.

“C’mon Croagunk, the only way in is through the front door.”

The Poison/Fighting Type nodded once again and followed Looker around the building and to the double doors. The doors were made of stern looking metal, and an obvious locking mechanism was placed next to them, albeit in terrible shape. Buttons were missing and the casing was bent.

“Hm..if this things busted, then….”

Looker grasped the handle and pulled, opening the door with ease.

“Great!” whispered the excited I.P. Agent.

The duo slipped into the building, making sure to ease the door back shut.

---------------------------------------------------------------

“Mightyena!” Mel, a Team Spade member called out to his savage Dark Type.

“Use Shadow Ball on that wimp!”

A darkish energy formed inside the Pokemon’s mouth as it locked on the Stan’s Delcatty.

Rex stepped forward.

“Sandslash, use Swift!”

The two enemy Pokemon charged their attacks side by side and fired, tiny golden stars flying along with the dark energy orb.

“Delcatty! Dodge the attacks and use Double Slap on Sandslash!”

The Prim Pokemon bounded over the double attack, which destroyed a portion of the cement wall. Delcatty landed in front of the Mouse Pokemon and swiped it’s paw at Sandslash’s face, slapping it on one side, the then other, cuasing little damage but annoying the Ground Type.

“RRG! Your little puke is gonna pay!” Rex roared.

“Sandslash, Crush Claw! Crush Claw until that things dead!”

Delcatty weaved and dodged the Slash attacks one after. The fury in Sandslash’s eyes grew more intense with every misses attack. This was turning into a game of cat and mouse, literally.

“Mightyena! Bite!”

Occupied with avoiding Sandslash, Mightyena jumped and sunk it’s sharp fangs into Delcatty’s back, sending a sharp pain through the Normal Type.

“Ah! Delcatty! Use Sing!”

Delcatty shook Mightyena off and opened it’s delicate mouth in hopes of producing sleep-inducing notes, but the pain was still ringing in it’s back. Only a small screech was heard: Delcatty had flinched.

“Ahaha! Sandslash, do another Crush Claw!”

Sandslash tightened it’s claws and rushed the now bleeding Pokemon, going in for the kill.

“Delcatty! Try to dodge it!”

Delcatty fought the pain and leaped to the left, narrowly avoiding the attack. Sandslash couldn’t stop, and continued to run until his claw connected to the wall. Sandslash, for now, was stuck.

Stan smirked. “Looks like you’ve hit a wall. Like, y’know, an actual wall!”

“Tuanting won’t help you, lawman. Mightyena, go in for another Bite to the back!”

Mightyena reared back and lunged at Delcatty, sharp teeth exposed.

“Ok Delcatty! Use that special attack I taught you! The TM move!”

Delcatty sprung to where Mightyena had over-shot her, positioning herself directly beneath the Bite Pokemon. Before Mightyena had time to land, a powerful beam of reddish, orange energy shot from the smaller Pokemon’s mouth, engulfing Mightyena in the attack. It flew upward, the Hyper Beam tearing away at it’s flesh. Before slamming into the ceiling, which cracked from the impact. It seemed that Mightyena clung to the ceiling, body smoldering, before limply falling to the equally hard floor, knocked out.

“Great job Delcatty!”

Delcatty weakly purred, smoke still billowing from it’s mouth. It had to recharge.

“Mel you idiot! You’ll pay for this!”

Mel returned his Pokemon and joined the other Spade Members on the far side of the bunker, watching the heated battle.

Rex, now furious at the turn of events, noticed something. Sandslash’s claw was stuck in pure concrete. It was possible to command it to use Rock Throw with a chunk of concrete! He still had time to call the attack out before Delcatty recharged! A grin returned to his sickly face.

“Sandslash, Rock Throw! Use a chunk of the wall! Quick!”

Sandslash blinked, making sure his trainer was serious, then ripped a large chunk of concrete directly from the wall with his left claw.

Stan gulped. “Hurry Delcatty! Recharge and avoid it!”

But it was too late. Sandslash had heaved the large mass directly at the injured Pokemon, who took the attack full force to the side. The concrete chunk exploded, sending smaller stone fragments in all directions. Delcatty let out a painful cry and landed, writhing in pain. It was sure to have broken ribs.

“Ahahaha! Sandslash, go in for the kill! Crush Claw that thing’s head!”

Stan began to shake. Was this man serious? Would he actually kill a Pokemon? Could he kill a Pokemon? Not Delcatty….Not her…he had rescued her as a Skitty from a pack of Zigzagoons,,, anybody but Delcatty. He had to act fast.

Sandslash leaped into the air, claws tightened and outstretched. It had no problems with killing another living thing. It enjoyed it.

“Delcatty! Before it gets to you, do your fourth move! Now!”

Delcatty slowly moved to it’s feet, but Sandslash reached it before it could attack. Sharp claws swiped at Delcatty’s legs, sending the injured Pokemon to the far-right wall, bleeding profusely.

“Delcatty, hang in there! C’mon! You have to do Giga Impact!”

At these words Rex dropped his thin jaw.

“Are you crazy! That’ll make this place crumble! You’ll have this place fall right on top of us!”

“And? Us I.P. Officers have a saying- “No matter the cost. Law trumps all.””

“You maniac! Sandslash, kill that thing before it attacks!”

Once again Sandslash rushed at Delcatty, powerful claws outstretched. Delcatty weakly stood, blood running fro m the gashes on it’s legs and Bite wound on it’s back. /it was time to end all this. She looked to Stan, confident smirk on face, bold eyes behind the sunglasses never faltering. She had to win this- No matter the cost.

With a tribal snarl, Delcatty dashed at Sandslash, pain pounding at it’s legs, but still moving forward. At top speed a bluish energy formed around the Normal Type, with orange flares shooting out behind the attack. Delcatty was running as fast as she could now, energy flowing through her. Sandslash began to slow down, took back by the sight of a seemingly pointless Pokemon muster such a powerful attack. This was one thing it couldn’t sink it’s claws into.

The Giga Impact connected right in the center of the enemy Pokemon, sending both combatants into the far left wall, where they crashed, causing a huge explosion. Pieces of concrete flew everywhere, the cots were scattered by the shock wave, and the bunker was instantly filled with smoke.

The Spade members panicked. They ran about, trying to find the exit through the thick smoke. Stan was covering his mouth while trying to make his way forward in hopes of arresting Rex. A crash and a scream cut through the pandemonium.

“Oh God! My leg! AAUUGHH!”

It was Rod. Before another word was uttered, another crash was heard. The ceiling was breaking apart. Running on sheer terror, Stan ran through the smoke, arms outreached. A part of the ceiling almost hit him, Mel almost clipped him with a punch, but nothing was going to stop him.

The ceiling was breaking apart faster now, along with the walls. A rumbling came from the structure. The bunker wouldn’t last much longer. Suddenly, a clearing in the smoke revealed Rex, desperately trying to slide by the other men to escape. Hoping over a piece of concrete, Stan tackled the man to the ground, making sure to hold him down.

“Get off me you fucking idiot! The whole place is coming down! We’ll all be crushed!”

“We’ll live. Trust me.”

The last thing that Rex saw or heard was Stan chuckling to himself as the bunker collapsed on itself, along with four other men inside it.

--------------------------------------------------------

Above ground, the scenery was the same. The sun was shining, the waves were washing up on the beach, then being drawn back into the ocean. The residents felt a small quake under the earth, but it only lasted for a split second. It was nothing, really. Not a thing was changed on Two Island. Above ground, at least.

-------------------------------------------------------

Darkness was all that could be seen and pressure was all that could be felt.

Stan had loads of broken stone on his back, causing him to take short, desperate gasps of air between the spasms of pain. Below him was Rex, also being pinned down by the rubble, he to in severe pain.

“Y-You’re crazy….”

“Th-th-thuh….”

Stan breathed in the dusty air.

“That’s how I get the job done, pal….”

Moans from the others were staring to sound. At least a couple of them were alive. For now.

“Delcatty, are you…a-are you ok?” Stan called out to his Pokemon.

After a few seconds of silence, a faint “Catty…” responded.

Rex, who had forgotten his Pokemon was caught in the destruction also called out.

“Sandslash…answer me….”

A few seconds of silence. No response.

Stan tried to push some rubble off his back and managed another chuckle.

“Looks like my Pokemon won.”

----------------------------------------------------------------

Thank you all for reading! Feel free to leave any comments, tips, or criticism!

Next Chapter- Looker in action!

And for this chapter’s bonus point question- What cartoon was I trying to reference with the battle between Delcatty, Sandslash, and Mightyena?

25 points to whoever answers correctly!

 

[Thundagere]

Re: "Look" ( Chapter 23 up now! Comments welcome!)

Tom and Jerry.
Well done overall! I really think this battle was good; among the best I've seen yet. At lest Delcatty wasn't too powerful.
A few mistakes here and there, like random slashes.
Your description is amazing! That battle was really on top of things! Man, that is one cat I never want to meet.

 

[RaccoonGoon]

Re: "Look" ( Chapter 23 up now! Comments welcome!)

25 points to you good sir! Thanks for reading!

 

[Thundagere]

Re: "Look" ( Chapter 23 up now! Comments welcome!)

One thing you can do. You know, you never really need a slash in a writing piece. Use the find feature to find and replace all slashes to get rid of accidental slashes.

 

[Ian D.]

Re: "Look" ( Chapter 23 up now! Comments welcome!)

Spoiler

Nitpicks, errors, and highlights!​

The sky, the wide, grand sky was dotted with small puffy clouds, providing a tiny amount of shade in certain areas.

While with good intentions, this sentence doesn't particularly sound right to me. You've already established it's the sky you're speaking of... it's sort of repetitive. I'd say something along the lines of...

The sky, grand and wide, was dotted with small puffy clouds, providing a tiny amount of shade in certain areas.

Of course, it's just me nitpicking. Don't have to edit it if you prefer the original. :3

Thinking out his plan on last time he slowly peered inside.

I think you mean "one last time"?

“Sandslash, Crush Claw! Crush Claw until that things dead!”

"that things". This implies that there's more than one thing. I'm assuming you mean "thing's" - the contraction of "thing" and "is".

The fury in Sandslash’s eyes grew more intense with every misses attack.

missed.*

This was turning into a game of cat and mouse, literally.

lol'd.

Occupied with avoiding Sandslash, Mightyena jumped and sunk it’s sharp fangs into Delcatty’s back,

It's odd, but the plural form of it is not "it's". "it's" is a contraction of "it" and "is". When pluralizing "it" just add an s. One of the odder grammar rules.

“Ahahaha! Sandslash, go in for the kill! Crush Claw that thing’s head!”

Stan began to shake. Was this man serious? Would he actually kill a Pokemon? Could he kill a Pokemon? Not Delcatty….Not her…he had rescued her as a Skitty from a pack of Zigzagoons,,, anybody but Delcatty. He had to act fast.

Sandslash leaped into the air, claws tightened and outstretched. It had no problems with killing another living thing. It enjoyed it.

May I say you do intensity amazingly well?

“And? Us I.P. Officers have a saying- “No matter the cost. Law trumps all.””

"Hey, RaccoonGoon. IanDonyer once told me, 'When a quote is used inside quotation marks, use apostrophes instead of more quotation marks'. Pretty interestin', huh?"

/it was time to end all this

The heck is with that slash? Remove it and capitalize the I.

The last thing that Rex saw or heard was Stan chuckling to himself as the bunker collapsed on itself, along with four other men inside it.

O_O

“Y-You’re crazy….”

“Th-th-thuh….”

Stan breathed in the dusty air.

“That’s how I get the job done, pal….”

HAHA, YOU GO, STAN.

Amazing chapter. You do intensity amazingly well, and your battle scenes are awesome - a lot more realistic than most people's. Kudos to you for that.

Hurry up and get the next one out!

 

[some colour no doubt]

Re: "Look" ( Chapter 23 up now! Comments welcome!)

yay for Delcatty! I suppose blowing up the building was a downside but ah well nevermind the job got done
Also curious to see what Looker finds...

Grammar wise, there was the odd mistake here and there, but nothing that screamed out at me so overall, well done and keep it up!

 

[Rob Anybody]

Re: "Look" ( Chapter 23 up now! Comments welcome!)

Maybe Looker failed to notice the big red R on the door? Thanks to Stan, maybe I should raise a Delcatty...

 

[RaccoonGoon]

Re: "Look" ( Chapter 23 up now! Comments welcome!)

Thanks for reading eveyone!

Rob: This takes place before Team Rocket rises to power, so the warehouse is just a warehouse that was used in a past war.

-Aherm-​

I think I might be on a roll here. I hope I can keep this up for another chapter.

Well, I give you Chapter 24. Only one more chapter until the end of Saga 3.

“Look”
Chapter 24, Saga 3
By RaccoonGoon​

The old military warehouse had a certain feeling to it. It was dark, save for the light from outside and the light coming from one of the offices. A buzzing accompanied the light, along with small murmurs. People besides Looker were in here.

Looker walked silently over to the far East wall, Croagunk behind him. The Poison/Fighting type heard the whispers and saw the aged holding cells in the back and began to shudder.

“Croa….g-g-gunk….”

Looker spun around and pressed his finger to his lips.

“Shh. You’ll be fine. All we have to do is get in that office, take down the guys in there, and take get ‘em to the Pokecenter.

Croagunk gulped and tried to stop shaking, but still the Pokemon shook. How had the once boastful Croagunk he had met in the Great Marsh turn into a shaking wreck? Looker shrugged it off. It was just first mission jitters.

The two approached the office door, the voices growing louder. Or was it only one voice? He couldn’t tell…not for sure.

“So we’ll go to Two Island-”

“-And find the others!”

There was two voices, but they sounded very similar, and it seemed the higher pitched one started a statement while the lower one finished it. Almost like…..

“Twins!”

Stan was right. The two men that attacked the locals were twins!

Looker instantly threw open the door and ran inside the fairly lare office. One figure was sitting behind the desk, while the other was sitting atop the desk. They both had light blue hair, both combed in the fashion, and similar facial features: A slim nose, blue eyes, and rather large ears.

The switch inside the young man’s head clicked to “Action.” He tightened his fists, put on a serious face, and took a dramatic stance.

“So, you two were the ones that attacked those two ladies and little kid!”

The twins turned around and simultaneously jumped back, surprised and the intruder.

“I’m putting you two under arrest.”

He began to walk towards the criminals, drawing out his handcuffs.

“Not so fast, mister copper!” Tim began, pointing at his brother.

“We’re not going to go that easily!” Tom said, also pointing to his brother.

Looker paused. They weren’t going to escape with a song and dance tune, were they?

“We’ll have our Pokemon rip you-”

“-and your Croagunk to shreds!”

At this comment, Croagunk began to shake violently, and beads of sweat were forming around his forehead. This wasn’t like Croagunk, not at all. Croagunk was courageous, not cowardly…right?

“Ha, I can take you two, easily!”

The twins laughed and grabbed the Pokeballs at their belts.

“We’ll see!” They both said in unison before releasing two Skarmory.

“Ok Croagunk, go in for a-”

Before Looker could finish, Croagunk sprang into the air, arms reared back and ready to punch. This, Looker thought, was the Croagunk he was used to. The bold, brave, and excited…It all made sense now! Croagunk wasn’t afraid at all, he was shuddering with Anticipation!

The blue skinned Pokemon jumped for the Skarmory on the right, but before it could get in a hit, was thrown back by Skarmory’s bladed wings.

“Haha! Skarmory, use Air Cutter!”

Tim’s Skarmory swiped at the air, creating a crescent shaped rush of air which zipped towards Croagunk.

“Croagunk, look out!”

But the Air Cutter attack hit right on Croagunk’s chest, sending him back a few feet. Croagunk clasped his chest and stood back up, not wanting to show any weakness.

“Ok, now go in and use Revenge!”

The Toxic Mouth Pokemon darted towards Tim’s Skarmory packed all of his energy into his right fist. Before Skarmory could dodge the attack, Croagunk jumped up and wrapped his left arm around the enemy Pokemon’s neck. Now with a firm grasp, it began to pound the Skarmory in the face over and over again with it’s right fist. The Steel/Flying Type tried to shake him off, but to no avail.

Finally, Croagunk hopped off the now dented Skarmory. The Armor Bird Pokemon’s beak and face were bruised, but it still stood, obviously weakened after the brutal attack.

Tom stepped forward. “Humph! Good hit, but can that disgusting thing take on this? Skarmory, use Air Slash!”

Tom’s Skarmory flew toward Croagunk at great speed, then swooped upward, before darting back down, planning to clip Croagunk with it’s sharp wings.

“Croagunk, counter it with Sucker Punch!”

Croagunk’s fist started to glow with a purplish energy as he jumped up and socked the Skarmory across the face, sending it off course. The attack did a small amount of damage, but damage non the less.

“This guy is-”

“-Really rustling my jimmies!”

Looker was on fire now. He had to keep this up.

“Now, Poison Jab the one to the left!”

Croagunk, also excited at the battle, ran towards Tim’s Skarmory and peppered it with small, poisonous punches, further annoying the Pokemon. Soon it was covered in purple splotches and bruises, now severely weakened after two attacks. Croagunk happed back away from the injured Pokemon, proud of it’s work.

“No! Skarmory, use a Steel Wing attack!”

Skarmory weakly stood and winced in pain. It must have been poisoned by the previous attack. It flashed it’s razor sharp feathers and flew towards Croagunk, who didn’t have time to avoid the attack. The sharp, hardened wings connected to Croagunk’s right side, sending him spinning to the left wall.

“Ah! C’mon Croagunk, hit it with another Revenge!”

Croagunk picked himself back up and ran towards the Skarmory, rage in his eyes.

“Skarmory, Fly to the ceiling so he can’t hit you!”

The Armor Bird Pokemon again winced at the poison and flew up to the ceiling. Croagunk passed right under it, but due to his will to punch something, continued until he was in range of the other Skarmory. Just like before, he hooked around the metallic neck and started to repeatedly punch the Pokemon in the head and face. Tom’s Skarmory, not expecting the attack, simply took the attack, squawking in pain, until it fell to the floor, defeated.

“Thanks for getting my Pokemon knocked out!” Tom snapped at Tim while calling back his fallen Pokemon.

“Anytime, sweet brother of mine!” Tim replied, hint of sarcasm all too obvious.

“Now Skarmory, use Fly and end all this!”

The Skarmory stretched out it’s neck and drew back it’s wings and began to descend towards Croagunk.

“Croagunk, find a way to dodge it!”

Croagunk searched in all directions. How could he avoid an attack like Fly? There wasn’t any cover, except the desk, the chair behind the desk, Tim, and…Tom! Croagunk stood his ground while Skarmory approached, closer and closer, until it was mere inches away from it’s target. That’s when Croagunk acted. He quickly fell to the floor, laid on his stomach, and flattened out his limbs.

The Skarmory whizzed right above him, centimeters above the blue skinned Pokemon’s soft back. That’s when it looked back up, noticing Tom was right in it’s flight path.

“Ah! Skarmory pull up! You’re about-”

“-To crash! Into me!”

The speed of the Steel/Flying Type was too much and all it could do was turn it’s head as it collided head on with Tom, tough side slamming into the mans gut. Tom and Skarmory both were sent flying backwards before hitting the wall.

“M-My stomach just got pancaked…owowowowowwww…”

The Spade Member pushed off the lifeless Skarmory, knocked out from the impact, and fell to his side, clutching his aching stomach.

Looker grinned and continued to walk towards Tim.

“Looks like the jig is up. Return your Pokemon, both of you are coming with me…”

Tim, now backing away, hastily returned his K.O.’ed Pokemon and gulped.

“You’ll have to catch me first, copper!”

The twin ducked and ran. He jumped onto the desk, hopped over Looker’s arms, and landed on the floor, still running towards the exit.

“Ahaha! You’ll never catch me! Nev-”

He suddenly stopped. A shiver ran up his entire being as a sharp pain shot into his thigh. Through gritted teeth he turned his head to see Croagunk, glowing purple fingers pressed into his leg.

“-Errrrrrrrrr.”

And with that he fell, immobilized.

“Great job Croagunk! We did it!”

The I.P. Agent went over to Tom, who was still clutching his stomach, and dragged him towards his brother. Once the two were side by side, Looker slapped on the handcuffs, one cuff around Tom’s wrist hand and the other around Tim’s right wrist.

“Ok you two, lets go.”

He hoisted the twins up after a few tries and pushed them forward. They limped towards the exit, both in too much pain to put up a fight. Looker was leading them with his right hand around the chain links while his left dug for Croagunk’s Pokeball.

“You did great Croagunk! Very well done!”

Looker’s partner saluted as the red beam sucked him back into the sphere. He was happy that the two of them had got the job done.

Out of the warehouse and back into Five Island Meadow, an overseen thought came to Looker’s mind-

“What do I do with you two now?”

----------------------------------------------------------

The sun was just beginning to set over Two Island. Lights in houses began to come on and small children and adults alike were retreating into the homes. Swimmers and Tubers were returning from the beach, exhausted after a long day of fun. Two Island was getting ready to rest.

Meters away, however, something stirred. Not a human, not something living…or so it seemed. An aged, rusty man hole cover rustled. It jiggled and barely lifted up. Then, it rustled again, and lifted up more. Then, it shook until it scooted a few inches away, leaving an opening.

From that opening emerged Delcatty. First, one paw, bruised and wobbling, raised from the darkness and gripped at the ground. Then a second leg raised from the destroyed bunker. Finally, Delcatty’s head peeked from the hole, it too weak, bruised, and blood stained. The Prim Pokemon looked anything but prim as is pulled itself from the man hole. It winced at the day-light and let out a painful cry.

Chunks of dirt and rock were in it’s fur, blood stains covered her legs and back, and dark bruises covered it’s head and face. It’s tail, along with the tuft of soft fur, was crinkled and bent, hanging limply to the ground.

Another painful cry, and she fell over, not having the strength to push onward to get help. The Normal Type was to drained, to injured to go on. All it could do now was hope somebody heard her cries.

“Catty…deeeelcaaa…..”

She would have to cry louder.

“Cattttty……Del! Delcatty!!!!”

It was no good. The defeated Pokemon, barely holding on, lowered it’s head and began to allow her eyes to close. It was going to die there while her trainer was being suffocated and crushed to death.

Suddenly, a small girl in a blue bathing suit and brown hair noticed the lump in the distance. Throwing down her inflatable inner-tube, she ran towards the sound, worry in her eyes.

“Oh my goodness…You’re hurt!”

She crouched down and examined the injured Pokemon, who opened it’s eyes slightly. Help had come. She, and maybe Stan, were going to make it.

“Delcatty…Del.”

“You poor thing!” The young girl slowly scooped up the feline like creature and cradled the bloody mass in her arms, almost too big for the girl to hold.

“We’ll have Nurse Joy heal you up. You’ll be better in no time!”

At these words Delcatty relaxed and slowly drifted off to sleep while the girl ran her towards the red roofed building.

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Thanks for reading! Feel free to leave a comment, a tip, or any criticisms!

The bonus point question for this chapter is- What cartoon character(s) did I base Tim and Tom off of? 30 points to whoever guesses correctly!

HINT: Think Cartoon Network shows.

 

[RaccoonGoon]

Re: "Look" ( Chapter 25 up now! Comments welcome!)

To the few fans of this fic: I won’t try to explain myself of make excuses. I bet a lot of you don’t remember this fic. All I’m going to say is that writer’s block is a bitch. I lost my interest in writing almost as fast as I gained it. I always knew this little story of mine isn’t the most entertaining, well-written fic on this site. And yet I kept it going, just to “attempt” to write a half-way decent fic. That’s all this whole thing ever was, was one big “attempt.” Months later, I attempt to write the 25th chapter of Look. If this chapter gets me back into writing the story, I’m going to try for 40 chapters. I don’t just want to drop it. Not yet, anyway.

So here’s my second wind. Look, Chapter 25, end of Saga 3. Enjoy. Tell me what you think.

“Look”
Chapter 25, Saga 3
By RacoonGoon
​

Stars began to sparkle over Five Island. Looker, the young International Police Agent, couldn’t help but wear a beaming smile on his s face. He, along with his partner Croagunk, had apprehended two members of Team Spade, a small gang of ruffians responsible for attacking the Pewter City Museum.

The two members, the twins Tom and Tim, were handcuffed to one another, being led by the younger man.

“I can’t believe-” Tim began between breathes of labored air.

“We got beat by a kid with a tacky trench coat.” Tom finished, clutching his bruised torso with his free arm.

Once into the town area of Five Island, Looker nudged the duo to a bench and sat them down beneath the glow of a street lamp. Before either of them could speak up, he pulled out his pen and notepad.

“Not a cramped room like the movies…” he thought, “But it’ll do.”

“All right you crooks. Tell me everything you know so I can drop you off at the PokeCenter.”

Tom and Tim looked at one another, snickered in unison, and turned back.

“Sorry, copper, but we’re-”

“Not much on talking.”

Looker kept his cool and rapped the ink pen on the cardboard backing of the notepad.

“Hm. Well, I do know that you and a group of other men ransacked the museum in Pewter City, stole the Platinum Meowth Coin, flew here to hide…..” He trailed off in thought.

“And you two were reported harassing a young lady and her son. Sound about right?”

Tim spoke up.

“Yeah, we accepted to pull a heist for this one prick. The dame and her kid were just some fun, haheh.”

Quickly writing this down, he continued.

“So you and your um, group were hired by a man. What was his name?”

This time, Tom answered.

“His name was Mister Blow. Full name Blow it out your ass.”

The twins started to chuckle, Tim slapped Tom’s knee, and Tom slapped Tim’s knee. If these two weren’t thieves, they’d make a good comedy show.

Looker, now becoming annoyed, ran his hand over his hair and frowned. He had to step it up. Croagunk was worn out, so he couldn’t use him. He’d have to interrogate them using only his wits.

“Listen,” he began, grabbing the twin’s grey collars and drawing them in close.

“I want to know every detail. Right now. Failure to answer will only make things worse for you down the road. Co-operate now and you’ll have less trouble in your trial.”

Simultaneously, the twins grinned, showing their teeth. Their eyes seemed to narrow and sharpen.

“Oh, me and brother here won’t go to a trial….”

“You should really watch our legs, copper.”

Just as Looker adverted his gaze downward, Tom swept both his legs beneath Looker’s, making him topple to the ground. Before he could react, Tim jumped up and landed in the center of the young man’s back.

“Ah! Get off me!”

The agent pressed his hands against the ground and pushed upward. As soon as Tim fell off his back, Tom’s foot swung and connected to the side of his head.

“Sorry, little buddy. Me and Tim-”

“Love getting our kicks!”

Looker raised up, hand around his throbbing left ear.

“You two are in a world of trouble….”

He reached inside his coat pocket, searching for the lone Pokeball, only to find the pocket was empty. It must have fallen out when he was tripped. He instantly froze. This couldn’t be happening. Everything was going great. He beat the bad guys, he had caught them, he-

His thoughts were cut short by the twins running towards him, away from each other, making the chain of the handcuffs to tighten. The two men ran to either side of Looker, close-lining him, making him fall to the ground once more.

Looker closed his eyes and wrapped his hands around his throat. When he opened them, Tom and Tim were crouched over him, Tim pinning one side of him down, Tom the other.

“Well, well, well, copper. It looks like-”

“We’ll be asking the questions now!”

Tom slid a metal, flat knife-like item from his boot. It was a Skarmory feather. He must of sneaked it out before he was cuffed.

“Before you interrogate suspects, kid-”

“Make sure their not armed.”

Any comedic features of the twins faded. Their eyes were narrow, mouths straight. The smooth, sharp feather was inches from Looker’s neck. He stifled a scream. He swallowed his fear to the darkest parts of hell.

He felt…lost again. Lost like he was in Snowpoint City. Lost like in the dark caverns of Mt.Coronet. It was at that moment where he wished his life was different. He wished he never left his far off home, he wished he grew up like a normal kid, he wished he never joined the International Police. His life was in danger because he wanted to play the hero. Because he thought he could bring justice to the scum of the Earth. Because….. Because his father died at the hands of some crooks. Was he going to go out like his father? In the very coat he wore?

“Feh. I bet you punks think that little butter knife will hurt me. Too bad all International Police officers wear body armor under their uniform.”

Tom, falling into Looker’s plan, raised the feather high above his head.

“We’ll see about that, copper.”

Looker, now having an opening, swung his fist into Tom’s torso with al his might, directly in the same spot where the Skarmory crashed just hours before. Tom dropped the feather, pain wracking his body.

“Ahhhhghhhh!”

Tom wrapped his arm around his throbbing torso and curled up, causing Tim to be pushed off Looker.

“Tom, you idiot! Hurry and grab the knife!”

Looker sprang up and swiped the bladed feather from the ground. Tim, still rearing to fight, tried to stand and charge at the officer, only to be halted by the dead weight that was his twin.

“Get up, bro! We’re about to get busted!”

In a last ditch effort, Tim began to pull his brother along, attempting to flee.

Looker tightened his right fist and approached the Team Spade member.

“I’ll just say you two didn’t co-operate.”

And with that, he slugged the man across the face, sending blood gushing out his nose. Tim’s eyes rolled back and his jaw hung slack. He fell into a crumpled heap on the ground. Tim and Tom were finally defeated.

The exhausted IP Agent gathered his Pokeball, pen, and notepad and slipped them in his coat. The Skarmory feather was slipped into his back pocket. He’d have to present it to Stan when they met up on Two Island.

Grabbing the link chain of the handcuffs with both hands, he walked backwards to the PokeCenter, dragging the unconscious duo.

It was fully night time now, the stars high in the endless sky.

------------------------------------------------------------

“Where did you find this poor thing? Delcatty aren’t native to the Sevii Islands, let alone Kanto.”

The pink haired nurse was tending to Delcatty’s shredded legs and back first. The bruises would need ice; the bleeding needed to be stopped right away.

“Just a few meters to the East. Near that old man hole or whatever.”

The young Tuber pointed out an open window into the night.

“What? Why was it in there? Oh, I hope there wasn’t a Pokemon down there that did this….”

Delcatty, eyes now open, darted all around the medical facility. Other cold stretchers of various sizes lined the room, and a series of monitors were by each one. Tubes were to the left of the Prim Pokemon, and sacs full of clear liquid were hanging on metal rods.

Finally, the last of the bandages was tenderly wrapped around her leg.

“There we are. Now we better set that tail…it looks broken….”

Then, Delcatty spotted the Tuber that had brought her here, and by her, the open window. Suddenly springing to life, the Normal Type rose up on wobbly legs and nimbly leaped from the stretcher through the window, landing a few feet outside.

Both the Nurse Joy and Tuber gasped and peered out the window. Delcatty turned her head around and let out a long, mournful cry. Weakly, it raised a paw towards the entrance to the bunker and cried again.

“It wants us to follow it. It needs to show us something.”

Without hesitation, the nurse slipped through the window, the Tuber following closely behind. With help following her, Delcatty trotted towards the man hole. As soon as she reached it she again turned her head and cried sniffing down into the dark bunker.

“Oh my…….”

Joy’s face turned pale as she kneeled down next to Delcatty.

“Hello? Is anybody down there? Please, answer! Anybody?”

Her shrill voice echoed throughout the bunker. No response.

Delcatty let out a louder cry, it too trying to contact her Trainer.

“Anybody?! We’re here to help!”

Still no answer.

Joy spun around to face the tuber.

“Go get me a flashlight! There’s one under the counter! Hurry!”

The Tuber darted off back to the PokeCenter and quickly returned with a small flashlight, which she handed to the nurse.

Clicking on the flashlight, she directed the amber beam into the man hole and was taken back. Chunks of concrete were blocking the view into the bunker and grey dust was floating in-between the spaces. A small tunnel was burrowed to make a large enough space for a Pokemon to crawl through, explaining how Delcatty escaped. Nurse Joy began to shake. She knew somebody had to be down there.

“Hello?!? Somebody, answer!!!”

A few strained seconds passed, then, a small, wheezing voice sounded from below the earth.

“H-here…. Down here…. Int-uh-International Puh-puuhhh….”

Joy dropped the flashlight and stood up.

“I have to go get help! You hold the flashlight and stay here! Don’t stop talking to him, keep him awake. I’ll be right back!”

The young woman ran straight to the phone located inside the PokeCenter while the Tuber knelt down and picked up the flashlight.

“H-hey…Hold on, we’re getting help.”

“Back…..can’t h-hold on much more….. Air…not enough air for us….”

“What? How many people are down there?”

“Two…… maybe more…Can’t tell if they are…..”

A long silence followed. The Tuber began to shake. She was just a kid. This was like something out of a movie, or a news story over a terrible accident. The beam of yellow light began to bob up and down, and Delcatty sat near the man hole, every so often scraping at a chunk of concrete.

“Can’t tell if they’re alive…..”

“Just…just hold on. I think I see the help coming…”

It was true. Most of Two Island, equipped with flashlights and ropes were marching to the seen. Large, strong Pokemon were with them. Machoke and Rhydons mostly. Nurse Joy was carrying a first aid medical kit, preparing for the worst.

“Is…Is my Delca-catty ok?”

Tears mixed with worry and relief formed in the Tuber’s eyes.

“Yeah, yeah. Delcatty is fine. She’s……”

A small circle formed around the man hole and multiple flashlights shone on it. Men and Pokemon alike moved in around it, ignoring the child for now, and began to remove the broken concrete. Delcatty stood up and gazed at the work. Her Trainer was going to make it.

“She’s up here waiting for you.”

----------------------------------------------------------

The blazing rose over the Sevii Islands, and with it, Looker. He stretched his tired and sore limbs. The previous nights events flashed through his mind. Everything had happened so fast after Tom and Tim were defeated….

As soon as he told the nurse at Five Island PokeCenter he had arrested two wanted fugitives, she called the operator, said that a IP officer had made a dual-arrest, and the island’s location. About an hour later, a small speed boat with the same shade of blue as other IP vehicles, roared up to the harbor. From there, two other IP officers took the twins, the bladed feather used as a weapon, and Looker’s notes to be filed back at HQ.

“Wow kid, got a little roughed up, eh?” One officer said while making sure Looker’s notes were all there.

“Yeah, they were tricky.”

The other officer was busy handcuffing each men separately. He didn’t look very happy he had to travel all this way in the middle of the night. But at least the weather was nice.

“Well, hop on in the boat and we’ll head back. You’ll have to debrief to-”

“I was here with a, um, mentor. Officer Stan. He went to search Two Island for some more people from the same group.”

The officer ran his hand down his face. There was no doubt he was tired as well.

“Ok pal. We don’t want to run around these islands all night and then go all the way back to HQ. Since Stan is a drinking buddy, we’ll pull some strings so you can both return tomorrow. Stan may not even have his guys yet. Just contact HQ tomorrow and come back then.”

“Thank you, sir. I’ll stay at the PokeCenter, go to Two Island tomorrow, and then me, Stan, and the rest of the robbers will be back at HQ.”

Looker made sure to explain every detail to the senior officer, just to make sure.

“Yeah, yeah. That’s why we have reports, kid. Save it for tomorrow. Now go get some rest.”

And now here he was the next morning. The couch of the lounge area was narrow, but comfortable. The center was silent, as was expected for the early morning hours. Croagunk had been healed before he went to bed last night, so the only thing left for him to do was throw on his jacket and hop a ride to Two Island.

With a new stride in his step he exited the PokeCenter and headed to the Ferry.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Upon arriving at Two Island, he noticed a small camp of sorts set up with orange barriers around it. A small army of people, covered in dirt and dust, were peering into something on the ground. A tired looking man was standing by a barrier, guarding the proceedings.

Without having to say a word, Looker flashed his badge and made his way through the small crowd. In the center of the madness, a large chunk of land had been excavated. Chunks of concrete and metal were sprawled everywhere. Up on the ground, two limp bodies, dressed in grey, sat motionless. Their frames seemed sunk in and their limbs flattened. Pools of blood were beneath them. Away from them another body was placed. This one too blood stained, mangled, and motionless. Only this one had various people crouched around it, speaking to it. An injured Delcatty sat close to a Tuber, also watching everything unfold.

Finally, Looker peered down into the huge hole itself. Multiple Rhydons were using their drill-like horns to burrow into the earth and rock. Geodudes, Machokes, and humans were throwing the broken concrete away from themselves. While still watching the excavation, Looker walked up to a Nurse Joy.

“What happened here? Who was in this?”

The nurse swallowed and breathed deeply.

“We’re not sure. But somehow this old bunker fell in on a group of people. Two of them were dead when we found them, and one is still alive, but barely. We know there’s at least one more person still buried. He’s the only one that talks to us, and we think we’re getting closer to finding him. We’ve been trying since last night…”

Before she could finish, a man called up from the dig sight.

“We found two more! Both still alive! One was one top of the other! Get us some stretchers! One of ‘em is awake still!”

Looker couldn’t believe it. Stan, blue uniform tattered and ruined, was looking up into the morning sky. His legs looked like they had been run over, and he breathed through gritted teeth. But it was true, he was conscious. His trademark sunglasses had cracks going through each lens. As he was placed on a stretcher he yelled out in pain. He grabbed his head as the scream escaped him. Looker could hardy take in what he was seeing.

The other man, dressed in the same grey flight suit as the others, was scratched up as well. His right arm already had a bandage wrapped around it. For some reason, the man looked familiar, as if Looker had seen him somewhere in the past….

Hearthome City! During the Pokemon Contest fiasco! He was one of the crooks involved in the attempted trophy heist. How did he get out of jail so fast? And what was he doing here?

Before Looker could give it another thought, he saw Stan being rolled into the PokeCenter, Nurse Joy and the same injured Delcatty close behind.

Giving one last look down to Rex, he thrust his hands into his pockets, spun around, and went to go check on his friend.

------------------------------------------------------------------

There it was, folks. As usual, any comments, tips, or criticism welcome. Even the smallest comment helps. Thanks for reading.

 

[Der_Neuevenmenschen]

Re: "Look" ( Chapter 25 up now! Comments welcome!)

Keep on trucking. This is still awesome.

I think I'll make a more definitive review when (and if) you finish this.

 

[Ian D.]

Re: "Look" ( Chapter 25 up now! Comments welcome!)

Spoiler

Look: Chapter 24, Saga 3

Holy crap, this is the third more-than-one-chapter-catch-up-review I’ve done tonight, and I believe I have to do at least three more… then I want to drop by two or three reviews on newer stories…

*headdesk*

Well, let’s get this started, as it’s one of the ones I’ve been looking forward to seeing again.

He couldn’t tell…not for sure.

Small error! There should be a space after the ellipses, so…

He couldn’t tell… not for sure.

Almost like…..

Haha, whoa. Out of control period/more-than-sign key there, man. A few things would work here in the place of that elongated mess of dots:

One, a colon. Example above –

Two, a dash, example also above…

Or three, another ellipses, example ALSO above.

ran inside the fairly lare office

Lare office. Either I don’t know the word, or you meant large. !

: A slim nose, blue eyes, and rather large ears.

This little section here is a continuation of the sentence, not a start of the new one. Thus, the “A” needs to become an “a”.

“Not so fast, mister copper!”

“mister copper” is a nickname they give Looker, thus is a proper noun. M and C, not m and c.

not cowardly…right?

Once again, space after ellipses.

The bold, brave, and excited…It all made sense now!

Space after ellipses, and once again, “it” instead of “It”, as “it” is the continuation of the sentence.

Croagunk wasn’t afraid at all, he was shuddering with Anticipation!

KNEW IT.

“This guy is-”

“-Really rustling my jimmies!”

I have never heard that phrase before, and I hope I never will again. Why? Because I can’t stop laughing at it.

the chair behind the desk, Tim, and…Tom!

Space after ellipses.

“M-My stomach just got pancaked…owowowowowwww…”

Space after first ellipses. And Croagunk is now my new favorite character solely for this little stunt. XD

one cuff around Tom’s wrist hand

Wuzza wrist hand? Did you mean left wrist? If not, this makes no sense.

Look: Chapter 25, Saga 3

I won’t try to explain myself of make excuses.

I understand entirely. Writer’s Block is a bitch and something every writer has to deal with at some point: most writers, more than once. Anyways, onto the story!

wear a beaming smile on his s face

You go, Looker! Wear that beaming smile on your s face!

…Whatever an s face is.

This time, Tom answered.

“His name was Mister Blow. Full name Blow it out your ass.”

BUAHAHAHAHA

Co-operate

Cooperate, not Co-operate.

“Make sure their not armed.”

they’re, not their. Not meaning to demean or anything, but just to make sure – if the differences between the three words aren’t clear to you, I can easily explain if you’d like. Oh, and Tim and Tom are actually competent? Wow. Shocker there.

“I’ll just say you two didn’t co-operate.”

Cooperate.

“Oh my…….”

Oh my indeed, Nurse Joy. The horror of all those periods – punctuation peril! My friend, more than three periods in connection with each other is never an acceptable thing.

Tears mixed with worry and relief formed in the Tuber’s eyes.

“Yeah, yeah. Delcatty is fine. She’s……”

A small circle formed around the man hole and multiple flashlights shone on it. Men and Pokemon alike moved in around it, ignoring the child for now, and began to remove the broken concrete. Delcatty stood up and gazed at the work. Her Trainer was going to make it.

“She’s up here waiting for you.”

…
Very few stories posted online tend to evoke much emotion in me. This is one that does. *sniffle* That last line sent shivers down my spine…

Very good, as usual. You left us at such an awful point! ;-; I want moreee… get the next chapter out as soon as you can. I’ll be looking forward to it.