Pocket Monsters: The Battle Quest (7)

[Legacy]

Re: Pocket Monsters: The Battle Quest (6)

Well, you can just call me "Booty". Rolls off the tongue much faster.

Welcome. Though, now that I think about it. Maybe he's actually referring to the Burned Mansion on Cinnibar Island?

Haha, either way, the Silph facility explosion does not have any direct correlation to anything in the canon universe. Aside from several subtle odes to the canon world here and there that the attentive reader may or may not notice, Pocket Monsters is mostly completely separate from the anime/games/manga.

Thanks for reading though. And Booty, I left a review on your fic.

 

[Chimchar98]

Re: Pocket Monsters: The Battle Quest (6)

Oh well. I tried.

oh, and Booty Warrior? I'm a girl.

 

[The Booty Warrior]

Re: Pocket Monsters: The Battle Quest (6)

Haha, either way, the Silph facility explosion does not have any direct correlation to anything in the canon universe. Aside from several subtle odes to the canon world here and there that the attentive reader may or may not notice, Pocket Monsters is mostly completely separate from the anime/games/manga.

Thanks for reading though. And Booty, I left a review on your fic.

Ah, I see. Well, I guess you weren't kidding when you said it's going to be all-new. I am impressed, and now further intrigued at this building explosion.

And thanks for the review. Much appreciated. ^^

Oh well. I tried.

oh, and Booty Warrior? I'm a girl.

Oh, dear me. I apologize. I'd seen your gender icon before, but I'd forgotten to internalize it. My bad. ^^;

 

[Flaze]

Re: Pocket Monsters: The Battle Quest (6)

*nods* Right!

Hmmm... that exploding Silph Co. building wouldn't have a connection to a certain other building exploding on a certain island, would it?

World Trade Center right? that's the feeling I got too well actually I mentioned it back in the first Pocket Monsters fic.

 

[Lugion]

Re: Pocket Monsters: The Battle Quest (6)

World Trade Center right? that's the feeling I got too well actually I mentioned it back in the first Pocket Monsters fic.

No, I'm pretty sure he was referring to the Pokémon Mansion, but I got the same feeling as well.

 

[Legacy]

Re: Pocket Monsters: The Battle Quest (6)

Haha, I haven't even put that much thought into what the explosion resembles in real life aside from, like it says in the story, an accident of some sort.

 

[CyberPika]

Re: Pocket Monsters: The Battle Quest (6)

I think the explosion is like a terrorist thing or something.

Are you goin to post next chapter soon?

 

[Legacy]

Re: Pocket Monsters: The Battle Quest (6)

I've been preoccupied, but I hope to have Chapter 7 up by the end of the weekend. We'll see though.

 

[CyberPika]

Re: Pocket Monsters: The Battle Quest (6)

Ok thank you.

 

[The Dude]

Re: Pocket Monsters: The Battle Quest (6)

This has a few flaws, but by and large, it's seriously impressive. The writing just has this flow to it unlike almost any other fanfiction I've seen. It seems you've thought out the world of the story really well, incorporating sports, government, media, etc. And I like how Milo's failed a lot early on, because it's more dramatic and interesting to see him have to learn from his mistakes than succeed immediately. I would have preferred if you hadn't been so blunt with Milo's monologue to Rena about his brother's death and father's desertion, but ah well. People don't usually exposition-dump to other people in real life except under extraordinary circumstances.
Milo's lies to Rena are also a good piece of writing. He's more sympathetic and human because he lies to impress a girl. Please keep making Milo (and hopefully the others, too) flawed but likable. I'm super-eager to see what's next.

 

[CyberPika]

Re: Pocket Monsters: The Battle Quest (6)

I liked how Milo told Rena about his brothe and father. She was mad at him already and she asked him why he was in the Quest anyway. It seemed like he was desperate to make her like him or not be mad anymore so he said that stuff.

 

[The Dude]

Re: Pocket Monsters: The Battle Quest (6)

It just read sort of clunky, is all. It's not bad writing, per se, but amid otherwise top shelf dialogue/characterization, it sticks out like a sore thumb.

 

[Legacy]

Re: Pocket Monsters: The Battle Quest (6)

Good advice for sure @The Dude! Thanks for that. I need to do better about this sort of thing, so I appreciate the suggestions.

 

[CyberPika]

Re: Pocket Monsters: The Battle Quest (6)

Ok srsly when is the next chapter coming?

 

[Lugion]

Re: Pocket Monsters: The Battle Quest (6)

Ok srsly when is the next chapter coming?

When Legacy has the time to. He doesn't have to write this story just because you want to read it, you know.

 

[Chimchar98]

Re: Pocket Monsters: The Battle Quest (6)

Ok srsly when is the next chapter coming?

Now, now. Good things come to those who wait.

 

[CyberPika]

Re: Pocket Monsters: The Battle Quest (6)

Ok sorry. I am just excited that's all.

 

[Chimchar98]

Re: Pocket Monsters: The Battle Quest (6)

So am I! This is a great story.

 

[Lufenium]

Re: Pocket Monsters: The Battle Quest (6)

This has been really good so far! I'm enjoying your spin on the series.

I'd try and provide some criticism but I'd just be repeating what everyone else has already said.

And kudos for typing this on an iPad! Medal deserved for that, touch-screens can be a pain in the neck at the best of times, let alone when writing long chapters.

 

[Thundagere]

Re: Pocket Monsters: The Battle Quest (6)

Definitely. WHenever I type on an iPad, my palms try to rest on the keyboard and suddenly, we get something like this: aalsdfj;
I'm also really enjoying the changes you made! I just wanted to mention that, since initially I was wondering how much better you could make the story, but I'm definitely seeing now the extent to which it's improved. Milo's little "confession" to Reina was certainly an improvement. Great work!