Jaypom
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Dec 30, 2014
- Messages
- 587
- Reaction score
- 466
- Thread starter
- #61
Thanks for pointing this out, I originally had a different thread style and was unaware the Bluebook style had a white background at the time. I went ahead and switched it Not sure why I had it as white font anyways since it was so long ago that I wrote/edited the chapter.Why the unreadable white font, just why?
Oh yeah, this was what I was going for. I like it so people can atleast be reminded of what's going on or if its a new day, what they were doing that led up to that point.I managed to read that in the anime narrators voice, since this is the feel you are going for, I would say this is a good thing.
Yeah I like the Nurse Joy character idea and want to build a little more around their characters since she's around in every region.I think it's interesting to see some more worldbuilding based around the 'Nurse Joy' characters which don't get much attention for most of the Pokemon anime.
It was more along the lines of if something important were to happen regarding a pokemon needing medical assistance as well as knowing medical terminology for paperwork.I don't know much about hospitals but I don't think you need to be trained in medicine to work at a front desk and fill in forms on a computer.
I had forgotten about those. This was the old way I did location changes and changed to a different method in later chapters so thanks for pointing out these still being around.I'm sure there is a more subtle way to show a location change like that? Just a little 'x' or '*' should do here.
Ah yes, Aries did originally have a tough-girl act but it was more along her desire of wanting to help the Pokemon in need, regardless of who she could find to help her and if they could even be of help.I think Aries deciding to drag Jacob all that way makes her seem unlikable, dramatic as she is showing no regard whatsoever for Jacob's personal space. She's also reminding me of Misty a bit.
I do take from the anime universe, with some stuff from the gamesVery anime-esque with the commands, along with the attack by the 'Pokemon of the week' as well as having these new trainers introducing their Pokemon in order to help.
Oh gosh I hate that line so much. I'm working hard to find a way to change it because it really irks me.I sure hope these characters don't end up like her 'overprotective brother' also, I think there would have been more room to show and not tell that she had an 'overprotective' brother in later chapters.
I was hoping the fight would serve as them getting used to each other, since they decided to travel together.This fic feels very reminiscent of the anime so far, from it's structure to it's characters, Jacob reminds me a lot of Ash and Aries reminds me a lot of Misty, Russo is a little more like a rival character from the show though. I would suggest being careful about taking too much from the anime otherwise you'll end with what seems like a clone of it, rather than an original story. Also, the part where Jacob and Russo fight seems immature, irrelevant and doesn't serve the characters justice and would probably do better if it was altered a lot.