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TEEN: Unpredictable

Contents, Prologue, Chapter 1 - Pewter City

AetherX

make plove not warble
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Unapologetically generic journey fic here. What originally started as trying my hand at a simple journey style story became something a little more. Also the first thing I've ever seriously written.

This story is about a boy named Keith Anders and his adventures through the Pokemon World. He's enthusiastic at first but as time goes on he discovers the harsh realities of the world that he had apparently been protected from.

Ratings tags: Moderate Violence, Mild Suggestive Themes, Strong Language

EDIT November 21, 2014: I've begun doing some rewrites/revisions of the earlier chapters for consistency, quality, and style. Currently up through: Chapter 7 - Tim vs Misty (March 26, 2017)

EDIT June 25, 2022: This story is now complete. I may make some minor fixes and alterations here and there, but I'm not going to do any more major rewrites. Maybe at some point in the future I'll reboot this, but for now it is as finished as it is going to be.

Awards:
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C-C-C-Combo Breaker!!!
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Table of Contents:
Prologue - Pallet Town (below)

Arc I: The Journey Begins
Chapter 1 - Pewter City (below)
Chapter 2 - Mt. Moon
Chapter 2.5 - Skies above Kanto

Arc II: Cerulean City
Chapter 3 - Cerulean City
Chapters 3.5 & 4 - Forest near Celadon & Nugget Bridge
Chapter 5 - Battle vs Misty
Chapter 6 - The Wilderness Around Cerulean
Chapter 6.5 - Celadon City
Chapter 7 - Tim vs. Misty

Arc III: Sabrina's Training: Power of the Mind
Chapter 8 - Saffron City
Chapter 9 - Sabrina's Gym
Chapter 9.5 - Forest near Celadon
Chapter 10 - Sabrina's Gym, final training

Arc IV: The Turning of the Tides
Chapter 11 - Battle vs. Lt. Surge
Chapter 12 - Pokemon Tower
Chapter 13 - Lavender Town
Chapter 14 - Routes 8 and 7

Arc V: Celadon City
Chapter 15 - Forest North of Celadon
Chapter 16 - Celadon Hospital and the City
Chapter 16.5 - Celadon City Again
Chapter 17 - Erika's Gym
Chapter 18 - Battle vs. Erika
Chapter 19 - Celadon Department Store and Hotel
Chapter 20 - Rocket Game Corner

Arc VI: Koga's Training: Power of the Body
Chapter 21 - Routes 16-18
Chapter 22 - Fuchsia City
Chapter 23 - Ocean South of Fuchsia
Chapter 24 - Tim vs. Koga
Chapter 25 - The Safari Zone and one last night in Fuchsia City

Arc VII: Before the Storm
Chapter 26 - Cinnabar Island
Chapter 27 - Battle vs. Blaine
Chapter 28 - Pallet Town

Arc VIII: The Spring Battle Festival Tournament
Chapter 29 - Preliminary Round
Chapter 30 - Primary Round 1: Keith vs Anna
Chapter 31 - Primary Rounds 2 & 3: Keith vs Neil
Chapter 32 - Championship Semi Finals: Keith vs Spencer
Chapter 33 - Championship Semi Finals: Tim vs Criss
Chapter 34 - Championship Finals: Keith vs Criss Part 1/2
Chapter 35 - Championship Finals: Keith vs Criss Part 2/2

In 'verse One-Shot: Unsung Heroes

Arc IX: The Battle for Saffron City
Chapter 36 - Twilight
Chapter 37 - Dawn
Chapter 38 - Midday
Chapter 39 - Silph Tower
Chapter 40 - Dusk (Part 1)
Chapter 41 - Dusk (Part 2)
Chapter 42 - Project Titan
Chapter 42.5 - Nolan vs Reese

Arc X: The Settling Dust
Chapter 43 - Aftermath
Chapter 44 - Explanations
Chapter 45 - Rewards
Chapter 46 - Farewells
Chapter 47 - The Fall

Arc XI: The Pokémon League
Chapter 48 - Reflections
Chapter 49 - The Pokémon League
Chapter 50 - Lorelei
Chapter 51 - Bruno
Chapter 52 - Agatha
Chapter 53 - Interlude
Chapter 54 - Lance
Chapter 55 - Champion
Chapter 56 - Finale

***​


Prologue

Flames and black smoke billowed from the windows of the building on the screen. My mother gasped as I shouted for my brother. He rushed into the room, distressed by the sheer panic of my voice.

“What’s going on?”


I never felt like I really had to worry about my father. His job was hardly dangerous, and he was such a kind and caring man. No one could ever possibly mean him harm. The thought never occurred to me that when he left on brief business trip, he might never come back.

“The blast occurred only minutes ago,” said the news reporter. “It is believed that a group of scientists were inside at the time. Fire fighters are battling to rescue them now.”

I had been to work with Dad before, at Oak Labs, not far from my home. All he did was scribble notes on a clipboard while looking through a microscope at some little things swimming in a Petri dish. On some occasions he would observe slightly bigger little things swimming around in a test tube. I’m sure all these little things, slightly bigger or otherwise, had names, but I didn’t care at the time. My dad was a biologist, specializing in genetics, which I thought was a dreadfully boring occupation.

“The cause of the explosion is being connected to a criminal ring known as Team Rocket. Several members of the organization were seen running out of the building seconds before the original blast occurred. They seem to have escaped off of the island, but are being closely pursued by police officers.”

For these reasons I thought nothing of it when he came into my room one evening and told me about an old abandoned mansion on Cinnabar Island.

“It’s actually an old laboratory of a retired colleague of mine,” he told me. “So myself and several others have been invited to go take a look around. Maybe we’ll be able to find some research papers or something. The man who worked there was very successful, and had some interesting projects.”

“Cool,” my unexcited fourteen-year-old self responded. “How long will you be gone?”

“A couple days, so be sure to help your mother around the house. I’ll be gone in the morning, so I’ll see you when I get back.”

“Mmk… bye.”

“Bye, Keith.” He patted me on the shoulder and left my room. Forever.

My mother cried quietly as my brother stared ahead, emotionless. We were crowded around the TV as a single stretcher worked its way across the screen. A single stretcher with my father on top of it. Bleeding. Burnt. My brother turned away as my mother let out a sob.

I just stared in disbelief.



(--o--)​


Chapter 1

I was tired and torn up when I finally emerged from Viridian “Hellhole” Forest, but I was alive. I marched into Pewter City triumphantly, with a newly claimed Butterfree by my side.

“Well, that was certainly an ordeal.”

It chittered in response.

The sun crept over the mountains and began to shine on the city. I recalled my Butterfree, nicknamed Locustod, back into its Poké Ball.

I had planned and prepared to hike through Viridian Forest that day. Then that infernal Butterfree threw a wrench in those plans. Six miles had quickly turned to fourteen and I was beat, literally.

I casually tossed the Poké Ball holding my new acquisition to myself as I walked down the road to Pewter, seriously considering throwing it into the bushes beside the road.

Two days ago I turned sixteen. Two days ago I got my Pokémon license and my Squirtle, Rainer. Two days ago, I knew what I was doing. Now, not so much. This journeying stuff was tough.

Only three nights ago I had lain next to my best friend Tim on the roof of his house, looking up at the stars.

I closed my eyes tiredly, remembering.

Tim had turned to me. “If you could have any Pokémon, any one at all, what would it be?”

I looked at him and raised an eyebrow. The question had definitely been on my mind for quite a while. After a moment’s hesitation, I responded. “A Dragonite. Definitely a Dragonite. What about you?”

“Dragonite? Those things so rare they might as well be legendary,” he’d said laughing. “I’d like a Gyarados -- those are just plain badass.”

“I’ll be sure to send one home to you for your birthday,” I’d teased.

“Oh, shut up, I doubt you’ll even be out of Viridian Forest in two weeks,” he had said, punching me in the shoulder. I had just laughed and looked back up at the stars.

If it weren’t for Locustod, though, he just may have been right. On the other hand, if it weren’t for that damned Butterfree I probably would have been out of that place hours before.

It had attacked me and my Pokémon earlier that day while we were sitting under a tree. I had been perusing my map and letting Rainer and Baron, my new Pidgey, get to know each other.

After I had woken up from my little sleep powder induced nap at some ungodly hour this morning, I had tracked down the bastard, caught it, and forced it to show me the way out.

Butterfree was a far cry from a Dragonite or Gyarados, but it was a start.

When I finally reached the streets of the city, I looked at my watch: 6 AM.

I began wandering around the city, drowsy eyed, waiting for the town to wake up. Pewter wasn’t that big of a city, but it dwarfed my home town of Pallet. There weren’t any skyscrapers or even many modern looking buildings. The red brick apartments and shops lent a quaint, old-timey feel to the place.

I decided to wander my way over to the path towards the mountain. I still had to beat Brock, the Gym Leader, but there was no harm in looking ahead.

The sun was low and reflected off the gray clouds, casting a foreboding light on the city and surrounding mountains. At a dip between two plateaus, the paved road became gravel and looked like it turned into a dirt path about a quarter mile down. I sighed and leaned against a sign post proclaiming, “MT. MOON – LICENSED TRAINERS ONLY.” It had been some time since my dad had taken me here to visit the museum, the year before he died, and the mountain was bigger than I remembered. Rest would definitely be necessary before I tackled it.

I stared at the densely forested peak, daydreaming of soaring over it on the back of a mighty Dragonite. It felt good to finally be out on this journey I had dreamed of for so long, fending for myself. It offered a level of independence that made me feel confident and powerful.

It was only then that I noticed a bench on the far side of the road with a dark haired girl laying on it. She had one knee up and her arms folded across her chest. I would have thought she was sleeping if I had not seen her looking at me with a single open eye. Upon noticing my gaze, she snapped it shut again.

“Hmm….” I was a little crept out, so I didn’t say anything. I instead looked back down the road, where I saw a young man, probably in his twenties, walking quickly towards the city. He was wearing a long dark overcoat and a brimmed hat. He looked suspiciously at me as he passed, but I just smiled and nodded hello. I guess he hadn’t noticed the girl, who immediately perked up. She stood and walked quickly to catch up with him. She stepped in behind him and grabbed him by his collar, spinning him around. Apparently she was pretty strong, as the man could not wrestle free.

“And just where do you think you’re going?” she asked him angrily.

“Hey!” I cried. “What are you doing?” I took a step towards the pair. With lightning fast reflexes, the girl pulled a knife from her belt and threw it at me with her free hand. It missed me by a matter of inches, instead sticking into the sign post with a loud “thunk!” where it quivered ominously. It wasn’t a very big knife, but it lacked any kind of handle or binding. It was clearly weighted for throwing.

I stopped in my tracks, looking back and forth between the knife and the girl.

“I’ll deal with you in a minute,” she said before turning back to her victim.

All I could do was nod and slowly back up to the sign post. Confident and powerful indeed.

“I asked you a question. Where are you going?” the girl repeated.

“Into town. Who are you? I haven’t done anything wrong,” he protested wildly.

“Who says you did?” She reached into his coat with one hand and pulled something out of his pocket, “Oh wait, this does.”

I stared in amazement. It appeared to be a normal trainer ID card, but when she turned it so it caught the light, I saw a large red R emblazoned on it. “Team Rocket, huh? Well, there’s something wrong.”

Memories flashed through my mind. My father… Team Rocket… Cinnabar Island…

I wasn’t paying much attention as the girl took something from the man before releasing him to run back in the direction he had come. By the time I had snapped out of it, the man had disappeared down the road towards the mountain and the girl stood looking at me with her arms crossed and a cynical look on her face. “What’s your problem?” she asked.

I stared at her blearily “Huh?”

“Well, first of all, you show up at six in the morning to a mountain trail with bloodshot eyes and torn up clothes, obviously unprepared to go hiking. And then you completely phase out at the first sight of a Team Rocket agent. Most people run away screaming. Maybe I should be impressed…”

I looked at the strange girl. She had fair skin and striking blue eyes that squinted when she frowned. She looked a couple years older than me, but it was hard to tell. She was tall for a girl, almost my height. She might have been pretty if she wasn’t so terrifying. And yet, something about the way she had stood up to a supposed Team Rocket agent made me admire her.

“I got lost in the forest, just got out. And… um…” I hesitated before continuing. “My father was killed by Team Rocket a few years ago; kind of… traumatic for me, if you know what I mean.” My voice was broken sounding, a combination of the stress of the situation and the delicacy of the topic.

Her face lightened slightly. “I do.”

I stared at her skeptically. I had never reacted well to the “I know how you feel” routine. Losing your pet Vulpix or going to your grandfather’s funeral is different than losing a parent. Pets and grandparents are supposed to die. You don’t want it to happen, but you know it will. Fathers are supposed to live. Losing someone that close leaves a gap in your life. Not just emotionally, but physically.

The girl nodded. She looked at me in a way that made me feel like she knew exactly what I was thinking. How I felt. And she empathized.

“I’ve lost…” she started, then paused. “Team Rocket and others like them have taken people from me, too. That’s why I’m hunting them.”

Suddenly I felt much warmer towards her. Team Rocket was a very real threat in the wilderness of Kanto and Johto. They had started showing up here and there a few years before, with ties to poaching and weapon trafficking. No one really knew what they wanted, but they were well organized and well equipped, a real threat for the police forces and rangers of Kanto. Attacks on the scale of the one that killed my father were rare, but not unheard of.

“What did you do with that guy?” I asked her.

“I took the Moon Stones he was smuggling and kicked him back to his superiors.”

In the distance, the city clock chimed seven. She turned and began walking back into town. I jogged to catch up with her. “So did you wait all night for that guy to come?” I asked.

“Yes.”

It was only then that I noticed the Flareon, a vulpine fire-type with dull orange fur and a beige mane, walking beside her. It was surprising, as usually Flareon are incredibly bright and nigh impossible to miss. But this one was dirty and tired, probably from spending a night out of its ball awake.

“Shouldn’t you recall your Flareon?”

The girl glanced down at her Pokémon. “She won’t go in. She’s just too protective of me for that.”

We rounded a corner and the domed roof of the Pokémon Center came into view. I wondered what would make a Pokémon so loyal it refused to let the trainer leave its sight. I realized I didn’t even know this girl’s name, so I asked her.

“Just because we have something in common doesn’t mean I have to answer all of your questions,” she responded curtly.

“Oh…” I wasn’t sure what to say. “Uh… I understand.”

I didn’t.

She pushed open the door of the center and paused, looking me up and down. Finally she said, “Oh, all right, join me for breakfast. Couldn’t hurt…”

I followed her inside and looked around curiously.

The Pokémon Center was different than the one I had spent the night in back in Viridian. The floor was dull grey laminated cement. Several empty couches and armchairs were spread around the room, surrounding tables laden with newspapers and magazines like Breeder’s Weekly and Silph Co.’s monthly catalog. A long reception desk ran the length of the far side of the building, behind which a pair of tired looking nurses went about their work.

I strode up to the desk and handed over my three full Poké Balls before following the girl through a doorway in the right wall of the building into the small cafeteria. It was better equipped than the Viridian Center’s, but that wasn’t saying much. I grabbed a bagel and a bottle of juice before giving my trainer ID to the cashier to be swiped. I noticed the girl paid in cash, so she wasn’t on a League-sponsored journey.

She introduced herself as Criss when we sat down at a small table by a window. She didn’t give a surname.

“I’m Keith,” I said between bites. I hadn’t realized how hungry I was. “So how long have you been fighting Team Rocket?”

She almost seemed to recoil at the question, but after a second she shrugged and said “a couple years, I think. Where are you from?”

I could tell she was trying to change the subject, but I didn’t want to estrange my first friend on the road by calling her on it. Instead I told her the story of my journey so far, starting from Pallet Town.

Pallet was a little fishing village on the southern coast of Kanto. The only thing significant about it was Professor Oak’s lab.

Professor Oak was friends with everybody in Pallet Town but he had grown really close to me and my mother. He had been best friends with my father, and when Dad was killed by Team Rocket, Professor Oak had taken us under his wing. My mom worked as his secretary, but we mostly lived off of his own paycheck. My brother Spencer had gone off travelling in his work for Silph Co. so as not to be a burden. We hadn’t seen each other in a while, but we communicated through mail and telephone. He often hooked me up with all sorts of cool new technology. In fact, in the bottom of my pack was the Ultra Ball he had sent me as a gift for my birthday.

I gave Criss a brief recounting of my little adventure in Viridian Forest before saying, “That’s pretty much all I have to tell.”

“I can show you the way to the gym if you want,” she said. “It’s on the way to the museum, where I’m going to drop off these Moon Stones. You should get some sleep first, you look tired.”

“Yeah, that’d be great.” I agreed. “What about you? You look tired yourself.”

“I always look tired. Just go get some rest. I’ll be training.”

I nodded and slouched off towards the bunkroom, up a small staircase beside the cafeteria.

Before I finally fell asleep, I just stared at the ceiling for a few minutes, thinking about what had happened so far. I thought about calling home to let my mom know I was okay, but it didn’t really seem worth it. She had never been as encouraging as Dad when it came to Pokémon. I missed him every day.

*

A little before noon I was shaken awake by a frantic looking nurse. “Excuse me sir,” she said exasperatedly, “are you the trainer of the Butterfree that was brought in this morning?”

I blinked my eyes and shook my head a couple times to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. “Uhh… yeah,” I said groggily. “What’s wrong?”

“Your Butterfree is attempting to attack my assistant Chansey and just throws stun spores everywhere whenever I try to get close to it. Can you please do something?”

I slowly sat up and put my feet on the floor, swearing under my breath, and rubbed my eyes. I hated it when people woke me up, but this nurse seemed at her wit’s end and besides -- she was cute.

I pulled on my shoes and followed the nurse to the medical rooms. She handed me a surgical mask to keep out the stun spore, but I declined.

“It acts like a prick, but you’ve just got to show it who’s boss,” I said.

I shoved open the door the nurse had indicated and stepped inside. The room smelled like the powder that had knocked me out the day before, but it wasn’t too strong. Locustod was chasing an incredibly agitated Chansey around the room, chittering wildly.

“HEY!” I yelled at it.

It stopped instantly and stared at me, frightened.

Chansey ran past me, out the door, wailing insanely.

“WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!?”

The bug type landed at my feet and bowed its head. I recalled it back into its Poké Ball. “Damn Butterfree,” I muttered under my breath.

I turned to leave, but the door was blocked by the nurse, who looked rather indignant. “Is that how you handle all of your Pokémon?” she said acrimoniously.

“No,” I sighed. “Just the ones that are a complete PAIN IN THE ASS!” I directed the last four words at the Poké Ball still in my hand. I pushed past her and walked back into the main room of the center, where I picked up my other two Pokémon from the nurse there.

Still steaming about Locustod, I retrieved my backpack from the bunk room and walked out the back door, which led to a small grass field used for Pokémon battles. Criss stood at one end with her Flareon by her side. In front of her an Ekans slowly slithered towards its opponent, a Zubat at the far end of the field. She must have been putting on quite a show, as a small crowd had gathered to watch.

Interested to see how Criss handled battling, I sat down on a bench nearby.

“Ekans, tackle!” Criss called. The purple snake jumped at the Zubat.

“Zubat, fly out of reach!” retorted the boy who must have been the Zubat’s trainer. The bat flew about ten feet up and Ekans missed its target.

Criss didn’t say anything but instead made a hand gesture to her Pokémon. The snake reared its purple head and opened its fanged mouth. A bunch of glowing poisonous needles began to fly out at the Zubat, who dodged them.

I tore my eyes away from the battle and pulled my Pokédex out of my backpack. “Let’s see what the annoying little bug’s good for…” I muttered, and looked up a Butterfree’s available move set. I obviously harbored a strong dislike for the Pokémon, but I would need two Pokémon for my first Gym battle. I was skeptical of how well Baron would do against Brock’s rock types, and Locustod was my only other choice for a secondary. The device read the list out loud, amid the sounds of the battle in front of me. “Tackle, string shot, stun spore, poison powder, sleep powder, and confusion.”

“Confusion? But that’s a psychic move. Huh. That’ll be very useful.”

In front of me, Criss’s Ekans had finally managed to hit the Zubat, knocking it from the air. Criss gave it another hand signal order, grasping her fingers into a fist. The snake wrapped the Zubat, crumpling its wings.

“Zubat! Bite it!” the other trainer cried. The bat bit the snake as hard as it could. Criss’s Ekans hissed in pain. But then it began to glow. The crowd gasped collectively and Criss managed to somehow look pleased without smiling. I was witnessing my first Pokémon evolution.

The snake elongated, its tail curling neatly underneath it and its head reaching up even higher. The glow began to fade as a colorfully patterned hood sprouted from the snake’s neck and its fangs grew to be about the size of my index finger. The newly evolved Arbok was much larger than the Ekans had been, and much more fearsome.

“Arbok, finish it with wrap,” Criss said coolly. The snake squeezed Zubat until the flying-type finally surrendered with a cry. Then it was released and fell to the ground, looking broken.

“Zubat, return,” the other trainer recalled his Pokémon before walking over to Criss. They looked to be about the same age. “You’re a very good trainer. I’m gonna have to train a lot more if I’m gonna beat Brock. Take this, I found it in Mt. Moon on my way over.” He handed Criss a small, round, yellowish stone. “It’s amber, fossilized tree sap.”

“I know what amber is, thank you.” She took the rock from him and put it in her pocket. “Arbok, return!”

I waved her over and we left the center, Flareon striding along behind us. “That was a good battle,” I said. “Congratulations on the evolution, by the way.”

”I try to train every day in order to keep my strength up.” She pointed at a large building ahead. “That’s Brock’s gym. Are you ready?”

“Of course. Aren’t you going to the museum?”

She shrugged. “I guess I’ll stay and watch you battle Brock. I beat him already, you know. I’m interested to see how someone with your Pokémon goes about it.”

“Really? Have you beaten any other Gym Leaders?”

“Yep. Erika and Koga,” she said. “But Brock was the one that convinced me to catch an Onix.”

“Oh yeah, he prefers rock-type Pokémon doesn’t he?”

“They’re also ground-types, but people tend to ignore that. He’ll probably just use a Geodude and an Onix against you. You said you had a Squirtle, right?”

I nodded.

“You shouldn’t have a problem then.”

On one hand, her confidence was reassuring, but on the other hand I felt like the pressure had just doubled. For some reason I felt the need to impress this girl.

A minute later, I pushed open the glass door to the gym. From the outside it was smaller than I had expected, and relatively inconspicuous. The inside was sparsely lit, so it took my eyes a few seconds to adjust.

When they finally did, I looked around at the room I stood in, for the entire building was one large room. Several fluorescent lamps hung from the ceiling, providing the dim light. The walls were made of smooth cement, while the floor was covered almost entirely in gravel and sporadic boulders. White paint outlined a battlefield that looked similar to the ones I had seen on TV. It was a little bigger than the basketball court back at my high school in Pallet Town.

Their feet crunching on the gravel, two men approached us from across the field.

The shorter, fatter one was smartly dressed in what I recognized as the uniform of a Pokémon League referee. The League symbol, a stylized Poké Ball, was emblazoned upon his shirt pocket, and a silver whistle hung around his neck.

It wasn’t until then that the reality really struck me. This was my first ever official battle! Sure, I had gone up against a couple of other novice trainers in Viridian, and even beaten them soundly, but this was different. This was what I had been waiting for my entire life. An official battle against an official gym leader on an official field with an official… official. I hadn’t been very nervous up until that point, but right then, I started to sweat, my voice shook and I began to panic.

Shakily, I held out a hand an introduced myself to the second man, who I assumed to be Brock. The gym leader was tall, stoic, and a rather imposing figure. He had dark, squinty eyes, tanned skin, and spiky black hair that stood out in all different directions. His muscular arms were folded across his chest.

“I-I’m Keith… from Pallet Town. I’d uh, like to challenge you. To a gym battle. If that’s okay.”

The man smiled kindly and unfolded his arms to shake my hand. “I’m Brock,” he said. “Are you a beginning trainer then?”

“Yeah, I… yeah,” I stuttered.

Brock clapped a friendly hand to my shoulder. “There’s no need to be nervous.” Looking behind me, he noticed Criss.

“Criss, good to see you again.” He nodded.

“Likewise,” my new companion responded.

“You showing Keith here the ropes?”

“You could say that.”

Brock smiled again and turned to his referee. “Let’s go then, Reg.” The referee nodded back to him and strode over to a raised platform on the right side of the gym’s field. Brock walked across to a small square on the far side, calling back over his shoulder, “It’s two on two. You good?”

A double battle? That wasn’t what I had been expecting. Panicking, I turned to Criss.

She seemed to recognize my fear before I said anything. “He means you each get to use two Pokémon each. Double battles aren’t allowed in the Indigo League yet.”

I gulped and nodded before shrugging my backpack off and heading to my own square. I had known that. But why had I forgotten? Maybe I just wasn’t cut out for this kind of stuff. Who knew what else I might forget? My mind raced along this train of thought while the referee announced the rules and Brock sent out a Geodude. Finally I shook my head to clear my thoughts. No, I was prepared. I could do this.

I studied Brock’s Pokémon for a second. I had already made a decision as to what Pokémon I would be using, but I wanted to go over my rather rough plan in my head anyway. The Geodude was nothing more than a rock with arms, eyes, and a mouth locked in a crooked grin.

They never taught us anything about battling in school, deciding to leave that to the specialized Pokémon training universities, but I had read numerous books on the subject. Geodude was a rock and ground-type. Its stone body made it almost invulnerable to most physical attacks, except the strength and precision of fighting-types. If I used water and psychic-type moves, though, everything would be fine.

Strengthening my resolve once more, I confidently grabbed a Poké Ball from my belt.

“Go, Locustod!”

The Butterfree chittered excitedly as it burst forth onto the battlefield.

“Let the match begin!” called the referee, and he blew his whistle.

“Geodude, use rock throw!” shouted Brock.

“Dodge it!” I responded.

Brock’s Pokémon dug both of its hands into the gravel, pulling out handfuls of rocks that it hurled haphazardly at Locustod. But at the last second, it flapped out of the way. Emboldened, I attempted to test Geodude’s defenses.

“Now, stun spore!” I cried out.

Locustod hesitated for a second, then flapped quickly over to the rock-type and doused it with a toxic yellow powder. It had no apparent effect before Geodude jumped out of the cloud of spore.

“But…” That was supposed to slow it down!

Brock just smiled and called for another rock throw.

This one was too close for Locustod to dodge, but I quickly came up with a counter. “String shot on those rocks!” I called across the field.

Immediately, my Pokémon began shooting a silvery silk-like string at the bits of gravel being thrown its way. It was a mildly effective defense, knocking down or cushioning most of the rocks with sticky string.

Now it was time to do what I should have done in the beginning. “Confusion!”

Locustod was doing well; it clearly wanted to make up for pissing me off back at the center.

With more excited chattering, my Butterfree’s eyes began to glow red. Immediately, a similar aura surrounded Geodude’s body. The rock-type’s eyes widened; it was obviously straining. Our two Pokémon stood like that for almost a minute, glaring at each other and unmoving except for the fluttering of Locustod’s wings. Then, with a sudden burst of motion, Geodude broke free of the psychic hold and tore up another handful of gravel.

Before either Locustod or I could react, it was being pelted with rocks. The Butterfree whimpered as the gravel rained against its delicate wings. Geodude kept up the barrage, never giving Locustod a chance to escape. It wasn’t long before it fell to the ground, no longer able to keep afloat in the hail of rocks. Geodude didn’t stop throwing until Locustod had fallen over backwards, unconscious.

The referee gave a shrill blast on his whistle. “The challenger’s Butterfree is unable to battle! Choose your next Pokémon!” he cried out.

So much for that. I hadn’t really expected Locustod to do terribly well, but the thought that I now only had one Pokémon left to Brock’s two.

“L-Locustod, return! Come on, Rainer!” It was actually almost a relief to fall back on my ever-faithful Squirtle. I encouraged myself with thoughts of the many victories the pair of us had accomplished so far on this short journey. We had never lost. We were unbeatable.

The tiny turtle popped out of the Poké Ball and looked at Geodude defiantly, sharing my same newfound courage.

I tried to clear my mind and think about the battle at hand. Geodude had used a lot of energy fighting its way out of Locustod’s psychic grip, so it shouldn’t take much to finish it. Brock would probably play defensively, ordering long range attacks and trying to do something, anything, before Rainer took down Geodude. So all I needed to do was catch him by surprise.

“Tackle!” I cried.

Rainer immediately dashed forward. Both Brock and Geodude seemed to have been expecting some kind of water-type attack, and so were caught off guard by the sudden bull-rush, just as I had hoped. The little Squirtle turned just as it reached its shocked opponent, bashing into Geodude with its shell rather than its body. That was a little maneuver I had seen a trainer use on TV, and I had wasted no time in teaching it to Rainer back in Viridian.

Geodude’s eyes rolled back into its head as Rainer bounced away.

“Brock’s Geodude is unable to battle! Brock, choose your next Pokémon!” called the referee, blowing his whistle again.

“Nice one, Keith,” said Criss from behind me.

I grinned ecstatically. I had taken out one of Brock’s Pokémon! Only one more to go until I got my very first gym badge.

“Geodude, good job, return! Go, Onix!” Out of my opponent’s Poké Ball came a giant snake-like figure made out of boulders, its huge, ferocious eyes glaring down at me.

I groaned.

“Onix, use bide!”

I winced, expecting a powerful iron tail, or something similar, but then just looked at the Onix. Nothing happened. I had never heard of bide before. Why would there be a Pokémon technique for just waiting? I looked at Brock and then Criss, both of their faces were expressionless.

I coughed once, then shrugged it off. Whatever, I would take advantage of this. Maybe it was some kind of test. “Rainer, use bubble!”

Rainer jumped on top of a boulder and spewed a barrage of bubbles out of its mouth into Onix’s face. It roared in dismay, but didn’t counter.

“Again!”

Rainer let loose another cloud of bubbles. Again, Onix hardly reacted. I knew bubble wasn’t a terribly powerful move, but it was still a water-type technique. My attacks had to be doing some sort of damage. Why wasn’t Onix doing anything? Why wasn’t Brock doing anything? I turned around to face Criss.

“Is this some kind of joke? What’s he doing?”

“You’re in trouble now,” she said calmly. I turned back around to see the Onix’s eyes appeared to be almost glowing red they were so bloodshot. It growled in anger, a rumbling noise that sounded like an avalanche.

Again, I had forgotten something critical, Brock’s signature move. A pamphlet I had read detailing Kanto’s gym leaders flashed back to me. I was in major trouble. “Rainer, watch out!”

But it was too late. Imbued with the stored energy of Rainer’s attacks, Onix swung its mighty tail at Squirtle, sending the little turtle ricocheting off of a boulder. I watched, stunned.

When Rainer fell back to the gravel floor with a crunch, I thought it was all over, but the tenacious little Pokémon rolled over and pushed itself shakily to its feet, using its curly tail for balance.

“Nice! We’re still in this!” I said excitedly.

“Onix, bide again!” Brock called once more.

I knew Brock specialized in rock-types, his gym was rocky, even his name sounded like “rock”, but I had figured that was as far as his stone fetish went. I was wrong. He even battled like a rock. Now it was time to kick him into the gutter.

I had two choices. I could wait for the energy to subside, thus negating the power of the bide attack, or I could finish Onix before it released the energy. I hated waiting.

“Okay, we’ll need something with a little more power. Water gun!” My Squirtle dashed across the field, bouncing off of boulders until it was in close proximity to the beast, and then blasted it with a powerful spout of water from its mouth. “Finish it before it unleashes the power!”

Onix shuddered and winced under the barrage of water, but didn’t react. The storing of energy that it was relying on to win was also stopping it from defending itself. At least, for now.

Showing the ingenuity that I was lacking in my nervousness, Rainer leapt forward at its opponent and crawled up the rock-snake’s chest until it pulled itself up onto the monster’s nose. Without stopping for breath, my Squirtle blasted Onix right between the eyes with yet another powerful water gun. This proved to be too much for the rock-type. It roared and shook its head, causing Rainer to fly off and tumble onto the gravel.

Squirtle pushed itself back up, out of breath but unbeaten. Onix, on the other hand, was in quite a bit of pain. Water softened the very bonds that held the stony flesh and skin of rock-types together and rested in the cracks between the rocks that made up their bodies, weighing them down. Getting sprayed right between the eyes would be an uncomfortable experience, to put it mildly. I just hoped it was enough.

Onix’s roar subsided to a groan. Its eyes were shut tight and its head was beginning to sway back and forth. After a suspenseful second, it finally collapsed, its huge bulk spraying gravel everywhere as it hit the ground.

The referee blew his whistle three times. “Onix is unable to battle. Brock is out of useable Pokémon, the victory goes to the challenger!”

It took me a second to realize what had happened. I was in shock, complete and utter disbelief. I had won! Had I cheated? I must have, it couldn’t be possible for a beginner like me to win his first gym battle. But I hadn’t! I had won fair and square!

Rainer gave its strange gravelly cry in excitement as it rushed towards me and jumped into my arms. I burst out laughing. Hell, maybe I was good at this!

“Onix, return!”

Brock strode over to me. “That was a good battle, very fun.” Surprisingly enough, he didn’t look angry at all that he had lost. In fact, he seemed as lighthearted as ever. I slowly set Rainer down on the ground and recalled it.

I was almost shivering in anticipation as Brock reached into his pocket and removed a flat, shiny object. I’m sure the stupid grin on my face looked absolutely ridiculous, but I didn’t care. He dropped the object into my sweaty hand, held out in expectation. “That’s the Boulder Badge, an official Pokémon League gym badge.”

I looked at the piece of metal. It was silver, and shaped like a jewel. Hands still shaking, I affixed it via a pin on the back to a white piece of fabric hanging from my belt that I had brought it along for just such an occasion.

“You get seven more of those,” Brock continued, “and you can challenge the Elite Four. That’s quite a ways away though.”

I laughed and shook his hand, thanking him profusely.

A few minutes later, I left with Criss. She looked at me, “You’ve got a lot to learn, but congratulations, anyways,” she said.

Still ecstatic from my victory, I grinned at her. “Thanks. We going over to the museum now?”

“Yeah, I need to hand in these Moon Stones.” Out of her pocket she took a canvas bag. She opened it and showed me what was inside. A bunch of silver, magical-looking rocks glittered up at me. “They’re used to evolve certain species of Pokémon.”

“I have a question,” I said. “Why not just follow Team Rocket to wherever their buyer is and nab him instead? Wouldn’t that be easier?”

She smiled grimly. “Well, I would, but you see, the buyer is me. I set up a stone collecting operation in order to bait the Rockets. It’s perfectly legal to pick Moon Stones up off the ground, but the mountain itself is a protected area. Mining is strictly off-limits. When I climbed over from Cerulean about a week ago I noticed a cargo helicopter flying away from the mountain. I did some poking around and found the entrance to the mine. So I planted a rumor that someone in the city was willing to buy Moon Stones at a very high price. Of course, greedy as those bastards are one of them decided to make a little profit on the side, just as I had hoped. Since I don’t have a need for so many stones, I’m going to give them to the museum to put on display or sell for themselves. Of course,” she added, “I always take a finder’s fee.” She reached into the pouch and withdrew a couple of stones, which she put in her pocket.

By then we had arrived at the museum, a huge four story brick building with wide granite steps leading up to the doorway. I sat down on a bench just outside the entrance as Criss went inside to drop off the stones.

I looked at my watch. It was already around dinner time. I had slept most of the day. The sun was slowly making its way down towards the Alizarin Mountains in the west, casting ever longer shadows. I stood up and looked out, thinking about my journey so far, and this strange girl I had found. For some reason, I felt like I had to prove myself to her, as a kind of test for myself. Her vendetta against Team Rocket was something I could definitely get behind. I found myself hoping I would run in to Team Rocket on the road sometime. I would fight them, and put them in their place for what they did to my father. My win against Brock only added to my confidence and eagerness.

I heard the sound of the door opening behind me. Criss walked up next to me.

“So,” I said tentatively. “What’s your plan now?”

“Tomorrow, I’m gonna go in to the mountain and bust up the whole operation,” she replied quietly, almost to herself.

“Can I come?” I said quickly. It was just the chance I had been hoping for.

She gave me another one of her calculating looks, like she was sizing me up. “You’re heading that way anyway, aren’t you?”

I had no idea what crime-fighting would entail, but I was enthusiastic nevertheless.

“I am, and I’d like nothing more than to kick some Team Rocket ass.”

“Do you know how to fight?”

“Uhhh… my Pokémon do,” I said slowly. “Besides that, I did wrestling for a couple years in school.”

She stared at my eyes. Not into them, but past them. She had amazingly blue eyes. The color that you could just stare into and get lost in. They seemed to offset her otherwise light complexion. I wasn’t sure if she was waiting for me to say more, so I just stared back.

“I suppose it’s different…” she muttered.

I pretended I didn’t hear, instead waiting expectantly.

“Alright, you can come along.”

*

NEXT: The real adventure begins!
 
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Chapter 2 - Mt. Moon
Re: "Unpredictable" (Journey Fic)

Here's the second chapter, I tried to take the events from the game and make them a little more realistic, while at the same time keeping it original.

The little bit in italics at the beginning was added recently. It has to do with a character that I originally hadn't planned on having show up for a LONG time, but I figured that it adds to the story and will help the reader like the character a little more when he actually does appear.

I also have a more personal thing to say about this chapter. It entails the general loss of innocence of the main character, which is important to the rest of the story. I wrote it so that Keith reacts to death and violence in much the same way as I do. Although I'm sure that many people on this forum would disagree with me, video games and movies have slightly desensitized us to violence. It's true, but not to the point where many people take it. In a life threatening situation I'm sure that all of you would react just the same as if you hadn't played any video games at all. As far as viewing death and violence from the outside though, people seem to forget the value of life. I portray significantly less carnage in my story as in some of the others I have read on here, but Keith reacts in a much bigger way. Anyone who has actually experienced a life threatening situation I'm sure would agree that Keith's reaction is slightly more realistic for someone his age, although it is still dumbed down quite a lot.

But I digress, here's the chapter in all its much too long glory:

Chapter 2

On a cliff high above the road to Mt. Moon, stood a figure looking out at the sunrise. Beside him perched his loyal partner, a Flygon. As the man slowly stroked the dragon’s neck, he noticed a pair of hikers on the road far below. Curious, he turned to his backpack and pulled out a pair of binoculars. He looked through them at the people down below.

“Hmm… Interesting. She’s found a friend.” He smiled. “What do you say we let them take this one Flygon?”

Flygon let out a huff of agreement.

“Okay then. I guess we get to take it easy today.”

*****

After a hurried breakfast, we were on the trail around dawn. Baron hopped beside us quietly, and of course Criss’ Flareon trotted along next to her. We walked in silence for a little ways. I entertained myself by watching the surrounding scenery change. Being raised by the sea, I was not much used to mountains, so I was very interested by the increasingly rocky terrain.

Mt. Moon was a long dormant volcano rising high above the hills separating Pewter and Cerulean. It would be quite a climb to the top, but the road to Cerulean cut across the side. We were headed somewhere in between. Criss seemed certain that the Rockets would be based out of a cave of some kind that would have an entrance hidden by the trees.

My wandering gaze came around to rest on Criss. She wore a similar outfit to the day before: relatively tight fitting clothes, a sash around her torso that held her Poké Balls, and a folded blue bandanna with a white symbol on the front serving as a headband.

“You’ve got four Poké Balls; what other Pokémon do you have?” I asked.

“Flareon, Arbok, Onix, and Tentacruel,” she said mechanically.

“So you carry around a Poké Ball for Flareon even though she refuses to use it?”

“Yes. Just in case.”

“I’m curious; how come Flareon’s so protective of you?” I asked innocently.

“She saved my life when I was young,” Criss said. She added quietly, almost as an afterthought to herself, “...and many times since then.”

I waited, but she didn’t say anything more. I decided to take another stab at friendly conversation. “Where’d you get that headband? I’ve never seen that symbol before.”

Her brow furrowed and she tore the bandanna from her head. She stuffed it into one of the side pockets on her pack and didn’t respond.

I had never met someone so guarded before. Clearly she wasn’t big on talking about herself. I got the distinct feeling that she was hiding something, but despite my curiosity, I was terrified to pry any deeper.

We didn’t talk any more until the trail began to turn back and forth in huge switchbacks as we climbed the mountain. The trail narrowed, forcing us to walk in single file with Criss taking the lead. As we picked up altitude, more alpine varieties of trees took over the forest around us and the underbrush grew more and more scant until the boulders and stumps outnumbered the shriveled berry bushes.

With each silent step I felt more and more nervous about what we were going to do. My impeccable confidence of the previous day seemed considerably less convincing this morning. I barely knew this girl, and yet here I was, about to go fight a band of criminals alongside her. I watched Baron, who now fluttered from tree to tree to keep up with us. All I had to rely on in a fight was this tiny bird, an energetic turtle, and an unruly butterfly. I didn’t even know if I could trust Criss. After a minute I noticed Criss looking at me awkwardly and I realized I had been muttering to myself.

“Sorry, uh… do you have a plan of some kind?” I asked her.

She paused a second before responding. “No, I don’t, not really. All I know is that we need to get in there, find the person in charge, and either kill them or set them up to be arrested somehow. I’ve been given private investigator status by the Pewter City and Cerulean City police departments, so I have some good contacts. Besides that, we’ll mostly wing it.”

I was shocked. “Kill them?!”

Criss stopped walking, turning around and stared into my eyes with that hard look on her face. “Yes, if necessary,” she said coolly. “What did you think we would do?”

“I don’t know. Paralyze them with electric attacks, I guess. And then drag them back to the police.”

She raised an eyebrow skeptically. “Do you have any electric Pokémon?”

I shook my head.

“Neither do I. And I wouldn’t fancy dragging a couple Rocket grunts for four miles down a mountain.”

I sighed. “I guess not….”

Criss’s face softened a little and we kept walking.

“Ideally, that’s exactly what we would do,” she said over her shoulder, “but it’s just impractical.”

“I guess that makes sense. How do we set them up to be arrested then?” I asked, trying my hardest to keep my voice steady.

“Usually I just find a way to tie them up and go fetch the police,” Criss replied, matter-of-factly.

I was skeptical, but it seemed like she had done this before. She suddenly threw out an arm to stop me.

“That’s the spot.”

I looked through the trees where she was pointing. About fifty yards off the trail, the steady slope of the mountain was interrupted by a steep rocky cliff face that rose up twenty feet or so.

“By that cliff? How do you know?”

“Look, foot traffic has left a clear trail off of the main path in that direction.” She pointed out the bent bushes and broken tree limbs as she followed the trail off the path we had been walking on.

“How do you know it wasn’t a Sandshrew or Rattata?” I asked as I followed her. As if skeptical, Baron watched us from a branch above the main path without following until we were almost at the cliff.

“I don’t, but this still looks like a likely place.”

The ground was even rockier here than on the trail, and the trees considerably thinner. “What exactly are we looking for?”

“Something like… that.” Criss pointed at a hole where the cliff met the ground a short ways away. I was surprised we hadn’t seen it walking up, but I suppose Team Rocket had tried to camouflage it from the trail as best as they could.

Baron beat us there, fluttering down to the rim of the hole and looking in. It looked like some kind of old mineshaft that went down into the earth and then flattened out right before going completely dark. It was wide enough for two or three people to walk side by side, but looked like it might get narrower farther in.

Baron looked up at me, cooing cynically, its beige eyebrow-like feathers angled in a perpetual scowl.

“They’ve probably strung some lights farther along. For now, Flareon will light the way.”

The flaming red cat-like Pokémon scrambled down into the darkness, illuminating the cave with an eerie crimson glow. Criss followed. I recalled Baron and climbed down too, albeit reluctantly.

As expected, it flattened out pretty quickly and we walked into the depths of the mountain. The stuffy silence was just as unsettling as the darkness. I’d never been this far underground before.

About two minutes in I was about to make a comment on the lack of guards when we rounded a corner and entered a huge, dimly lit, roughly circular chamber. We were about halfway up, ten feet or so. A wire with lights was strung around the whole circumference of the room at about our eye-level. Our ledge tapered off to the left and right and a ladder hung down in front of us. The cavern floor was jagged and littered with boulders. A multitude of metal crates were scattered about as well as an assortment of lamps. Several tunnels led off in various directions. We were the only people in the room.

“Where…?” I started, but Criss put a finger to my lips and I stopped.

She leaned over and whispered into my ear, “Our voices will carry easily through the cavern; we need to be quiet.”

She silently descended the ladder, looked around, and beckoned to me. I stood next to her, staring at the crates.

“Where do you think the Rockets are?” I whispered.

She shrugged and glanced at each of the side tunnels.

Suddenly, we heard a rustle from one of the tunnels to my right, the sound echoing to make it seem incredibly loud. Criss yanked me down into the shadows behind the nearest boulder. We crouched there, waiting.

And then, with an unsettling screech, a small blue and purple bat fluttered out of the tunnel and began to tear away at the light cord running along the wall with its tiny fangs.

“Zubat,” Criss muttered. “They must not be used to this kind of intrusive light.”

“HEY!”

We both jumped, and Criss yanked me farther back into the shadows. A man in a dark uniform with a red R emblazoned on the front had run out of one of the tunnels, with a Raticate at his heels. He was yelling at the Zubat. The Raticate began to scratch at the walls and glare up at the Zubat, but it couldn’t reach very far. The man picked up a rock and threw it. The Zubat dodged the projectile, screeched again, and flew away.

The man was cursing under his breath. He stalked back down the tunnel that he had come through. “Damn bats. If we have to stay here any longer, we had better get some flying-types of our own.”

As his mutterings dwindled away down the tunnel, Criss began to stand, but I pulled her back down. “Wait,” I hissed, “I thought I saw something moving over by those crates.”

Sure enough, a couple seconds later, a small pink head peeked up over one of the metal boxes. The Pokémon clambered on top of the box and stared down the tunnel that the Rocket had taken.

I fumbled at a side pocket of my pack, eventually pulling out my Pokédex as Criss and I both stared. At the last second, I remembered to mute the device.

“Clefairy, the fairy Pokémon,” I whispered aloud. “The moonlight that it stores in the wings on its back apparently gives it the ability to float in midair. Its adorable behavior and cry make it highly popular. However, this cute Pokémon is rarely found. It becomes easier to spot, for some reason, on the night of a full moon.”

The pink puffball looked around once more and then reached down to the lid of the crate. With a grunt, it pulled the lid off but toppled backwards. I craned my neck to see what was inside. It was a bunch of Moon Stones. The Clefairy got back up and grabbed as many Moon Stones as it could hold before dashing down one of the tunnels.

I looked over at Criss. She seemed to be suppressing laughter. This was strange; I had never seen her laugh before. I raised an eyebrow.

“Sorry,” she said breathlessly, “I don’t know why I find that so funny. Come on, let’s go.”

We cautiously made our way down the unlit tunnel where the Rocket had went.

“You might want to let one of your Pokémon out,” Criss suggested. “Just keep it quiet.”

I released Baron from its Poké Ball again. It landed on my outstretched arm and cooed softly. I looked at it and put my fingers to my lips. It cocked its head sideways in a bemused fashion but didn’t make any more noise. It wasn’t until then that I realized that I hadn’t actually used Baron before in any major battle. I hoped that wouldn’t matter, as it was too late to train it now. At the very least, it had put up a noble fight when I caught it on Route 2.

Another room was coming up on the right. We could see the light against the wall. Criss and I crept up to the corner and she peeked around. I could hear voices. She took a quick step to the other side of the doorway so that I could listen, too.

“So the boss is taking the rest back on this helicopter?” said a rough voice that I recognized as that of the Rocket we had seen earlier.

“No, he’s leaving the crates that are in the main chamber right now. We’ll carry those down by hand,” said another voice; the other men in the room groaned. “But the real money will be from these fossils that we found. If we can get them to one of those revival machines, we’ve hit a gold mine.”

“Figuratively, of course. We’d never get that lucky,” said a skeptical voice that I actually recognized as the Rocket from the previous morning.

“Quit your complaining. Your paychecks will be considerable if you actually do your job. Now get back to patrolling the tunnels. An infiltration while the boss is still here would be a great reason for him to have us all killed,” commanded the first voice.

Two figures walked out of the room and right past me. I held my breath and tried to blend in with the shadows. I could feel Baron quivering as I held the little bird against me. Amazingly, it was so dark that they didn’t notice me. I glanced over towards Criss but she wasn’t there. Hesitantly, I peeked into the room and saw her standing menacingly, facing the third man. He hadn’t noticed her as he was bending over and shoving some boxes onto shelves on the back wall of the room. This cavern wasn’t nearly as big as the first, only about the size of my bedroom. It seemed to be more of a combined office and storage closet. The back wall was covered by bookshelves holding stones, books, and fossils. Maps carpeted one wall and the other had an array of hooks on which hung ropes, drills, and mining tools.

Flareon, at Criss’ side, growled audibly.

The man straightened up and began to turn around. “I thought I told you to…. Huh?” But before he could alert the other Rockets, Criss jumped at him and punched him across the face. He stumbled backwards, his head smashing into the shelves before he crumpled to the ground. Down and out in one hit. Criss turned around to see me standing in the doorway with my mouth gaping.

Criss flexed her fingers and gazed at her hand “Ouch. That hurt,” she said calmly.

“Holy hell….” It was all I could say. Adrenaline coursed through me as I realized what she had done.

She smiled mischievously at me, “Sorry, I’m not very feminine am I?”

I continued to stare with open-mouthed astonishment while she tied up the man with a rope off of the wall and gagged him with his own hat.

After recovering from my shock, I decided to take a look at the contents of the shelves. A few fossils had fallen to the ground when the Rocket had ran into them. Baron jumped down off of my arm and began pecking at one with a swirling shell. I picked up one with a strange dome.

“Do you think that what he said about fossil resurrection is true?” I asked Criss, my voice shaking slightly from the adrenaline.

She looked over. “It is, I’ve seen it. The technology was developed in a lab on Cinnabar Island,” she replied. “Devon Corp is working to perfect it and make it commercial.” She grabbed the fossil that Baron had taken an interest in and looked at it before pocketing it.

“Psht, Devon. What do they know?” I scoffed. Following her lead, I tucked the domed fossil into a side pocket on my backpack.

“What’s wrong with Devon?”

“My brother works for Silph, so I have to dislike Devon on principle,” I explained. Devon Corp was the Hoenn region’s Silph Co. They both were leaders in Pokémon technology development and design. My brother always complained about problems that the competition with Devon made. Criss just shook her head and smiled. Before we left the room, she looked down at the Rocket.

“This would be easier if we just cut his throat.”

The calmness with which she stated this astounded me. I tried to act casual. “Nah, let’s just leave him,” I choked out.

“I guess,” Criss agreed, to my relief.

A moral battle raged in my head as we left the room. I had left Pallet looking for independence and a chance to fend for myself. I had no idea that might mean murder. The thought made me sick to my stomach.

My friend David had left on his journey a couple months before I did. Somewhere out there he was traveling from gym to gym with his Bulbasaur. I couldn’t help but wonder if he was going through similar things. How would he handle this? Would his traveling companion’s casual mention of murder break his friendly, confident bravado?

What was I even doing here? Did Criss really think I could help at all? Why had I even asked to come along? Part of me wanted to run out of this dark cave as fast as I could and book it to Cerulean City, never looking back. But even as I considered doing that very thing, the part of me that had gotten me into this situation in the first place spoke up.

These were the men who had torn my family apart. The thought of my dad made my heart clench in sadness and outrage, like a vice-grip had taken ahold of my chest. I had beaten Brock. I could beat these assholes. This was just another step on my journey. I could prove myself to Criss and make myself stronger in the process. Newfound confidence poured through me. This may not be the usual way a journey worked out, but I wasn’t going to let that stop me. Instead, I was going to let it help me grow.

Not to mention, a more logical side of my brain added, Criss’s side is probably the safest place to be right now. Her handling of the Rocket in the supply room was evidence of that.

That shut up my cowardice.

“No more time for espionage,” Criss’s voice came from the darkness ahead of me as we walked back down the tunnel. “Let’s go get those other two and get out of here.”

I just nodded silently, even though she couldn’t see. Baron cooed encouragingly in my ear.

We walked down the hallway back into the big chamber. “Now where are those other --” started Criss, but her unfinished question was immediately answered.

“Hey! What the hell do you think you’re doing?” came a shout from one of the tunnels. I turned to see the Rocket with his Raticate and the other Rocket with an Ekans. I was still buzzing a bit from when Criss punched out the other Rocket, but the shout gave me a fresh burst of adrenaline.

“Go! Flareon!” shouted Criss beside me. Her Pokémon dashed forward and tackled the Raticate.

I saw the other Rocket send his Ekans at me. Realizing the urgency of the situation, I shook off my last dregs of hesitation and commanded a gust from Baron, tossing the little bird forward. The swirl of dust and wind from Baron’s rapidly beating wings did little to the huge purple snake, which just slid back about a foot.

“Sand attack, Baron!”

The blast of sand hit the Ekans in its face and it shook its head, hissing and spitting. I could hear Criss and the other Rocket fighting about ten feet to my left.

“Hyper Fang!” the Rocket called.

I could feel the heat as Flareon responded with a blast of fire.

“Ekans, Poison Sting!” called the Rocket I was facing.

“Dodge it!” But I was too late. The poisonous barbs that shot from Ekans’s mouth caught the bird full on. It let out a soft cry of surprise, and then fell to the dirt. “Baron! No!”

“It’s over, kid; now get out of here before I stop feeling so merciful.”

But with a strained coo, my Pidgey pushed itself up onto its feet. Pinpricks of blood dotted its lightly colored chest.

“No, wait,” I said. “You’re not strong enough!” I began to get out its Poké Ball but was stopped when I noticed the glare it was giving me. Then it began to glow.

“Huh?” exclaimed the Rocket. His Ekans was looking at Baron quizzically.

It started as a soft white shine coming out from under Baron’s feathers, casting strange shadows on the cave surfaces around us. The light grew brighter and brighter, particularly from Baron’s eyes. The little bird let out a strange fluttering growl, unlike any sound I had ever heard it make before. Then I realized what was happening. Baron began to grow. It swelled upward and outward, growing to the height of my waist. Pinkish-red hair-like feathers sprouted from the back of its head and it spread its wings out. The glow slowly faded. Baron let out a shrieking battle cry. I couldn’t help but feel like it was directed at me. As if to say, “I have made myself strong enough.”

I realized that I had no idea what moves a Pidgeotto was capable of. But I didn’t have time to reach for my Pokédex. The Rocket had already reacted.

“Ekans, grab it with a wrap!”

“Baron, dodge it!”

The bird flapped into the air and let out a defiant cry at the snake.

“Use --” I paused. “I don’t know, just get it!”

The Rocket laughed at this, but stopped when my new Pidgeotto swooped down at his Ekans. The bird grabbed the snake around the middle and slammed it, hissing, into the wall. It fell and hit the ground, where it coiled up, almost as if it were shrinking. Its head did not rise up. Baron circled and landed next to me, letting out another shriek.

Well how about that.

“Nice one!” I exclaimed. In the standard reflex of ending a battle, I recalled my Pokémon.

I looked over at Criss to see her locked in hand-to-hand combat with the other Rocket. Her Flareon was chasing the weakened looking Raticate around the room, launching a constant flamethrower attack.

I looked back in time to see my foe’s fist collide with my face. I fell over onto my hands and knees, my head buzzing. I saw stars and felt my nose begin to bleed.

The Rocket loomed over me, his legs barely visible in the dim lighting a few feet in front of me. He said something, probably a threat or jeer of some kind, but my addled brain didn’t really feel like processing it.

One of my hands immediately went to my bleeding nose by reflex. The other, supporting my weight, curled around a rock the size of my fist.

I didn’t even think about the consequences. My fingers clamped down on the rock and I jumped upwards. Before the Rocket could react, I slammed the rock into the side of his head as hard as I could. I felt something give beneath the blow, and he dropped like a sack of potatoes, unconscious at the least.

Wiping the blood away from my nose, I looked over to see Criss kneeling over the other Rocket, who looked like he had been long since knocked out.

She stood and gave the fallen Rocket a swift kick, then turned to her Flareon.

“Let’s go, Flareon.” Her Pokémon had somehow managed to wedge the Rocket’s Raticate between a pair of boulders. The Raticate’s fur was slightly singed.

Criss looked at me.

“We can get that fixed up in Cerulean,” she said, gesturing to my nose. “Sorry, I meant to tell you. These guys only use Pokémon at first.”

“Yeah,” I replied sarcastically, my fear fighting with my excitement about winning. “Thanks for the warning. At least they’re stupid.”

“I just realized, though,” said Criss, “I don’t think we’re done here.”

“What? You think there’s more?”

“Absolutely. The first Rocket said that the boss was still here, loading a helicopter or something.”

The Rocket Boss? I don’t know…. What does it matter if he gets away?” Little was known about the leader of Team Rocket, and I couldn’t help but be scared. My excitement drained away. This wasn’t quite the heroic battle I had anticipated. But what, then, had I anticipated? Whatever my motivations for coming with Criss in the first place, I was ready to leave immediately. The whole quit-while-you’re-ahead philosophy sounded really appealing right about now.

“Exactly; it’s the Rocket Boss. Imagine if we could catch him. Let’s go.” Clearly Criss had no similar qualms. She rushed over to one of the side tunnels and flipped a huge switch on the wall. Lights flickered on down the tunnel. She beckoned to me before dashing out of sight, her Flareon hot on her heels.

I stood still for a moment, looking after her. My eyes glanced back and forth between the tunnel that she had ran down and the ladder to the side that would lead back to the surface.

I could leave. What would the consequences be? I wasn’t likely to run in to Criss ever again.

And yet… I wanted to stay with her. Criss had shown faith in me. Faith that I would be able to help.

Here I was, on my way to a city I had never visited before, on a journey all on my lonesome, and she had shown faith in me. I couldn’t leave her to fight Team Rocket on her own, mythical mob boss or not. I don’t know why I felt that way, but I just couldn’t. Maybe it was because of Dad. Maybe it was because of some sense of justice within me. Maybe it was just my natural response to a damsel in distress.

I snorted painfully. Heh. This girl? A damsel in distress? As if.

My nose voiced its input by throbbing and slowly dripping blood.

“Oh, what the hell.”

I sprinted off after Criss.

She had stopped to wait for me at a fork in the tunnel. It was clear which way to go. One of the paths diminished into some sort of natural, unlit crevice while the lights continued up a set of metal stairs that led to a door in the cave wall. As soon as I caught up to her, Criss leapt up the stairs.

She slowly pushed the door open and stepped outside into the blinding sunlight. I followed, immediately ducking behind a boulder to avoid being seen by the figures standing not far in front of us. Criss did the same.

I peeked out from behind the rock, blinking as my eyes adjusted to the daylight. We looked to be in Mt Moon’s crater. Two men wearing Team Rocket uniforms were loading what were clearly the last few crates of Moon Stones aboard a large cargo helicopter. Another man stood to the side, watching them with his hands clasped behind his back. The third man was tall, with thinning brown hair and a very imposing demeanor. He wore a slight, almost sadistic grin and a slick three piece suit. This was clearly the famed Rocket Boss. No one seemed to know anything about this man beyond the fact that he existed. I gulped, more than a little intimidated. Criss only seemed to get angrier at the sight of this mysterious figure.

She let out a low, guttural growl and reached to her belt, pulling out her knife. The look in her eyes could only be described as bloodlust. I had never seen anyone so angry.

I thought I hated the Rockets.

“Criss, wait --” I hissed.

But I was ignored. She growled again as she leapt out into the open and dashed towards the tall man. I grabbed at Flareon to stop it from following her out, but it burned my hands and ran off after its master.

No one appeared to realize what was going on at first, but as Criss dashed towards the tall man, knife raised, he turned to her. With surprising reflexes, the Rocket boss grabbed her by the wrist, the second she was close enough, and twisted it so she would drop the knife. But Criss was made of stronger stuff than most people. She held onto the knife despite the man’s maneuver and swung her other arm around to punch him in the side. He let go of her wrist at the blow, but by that time, the other Rockets had started to react. One of them leapt into the helicopter and started up the rotors. The other dove at Criss, tackling her and pinning her to the ground. Flareon caught up to them and latched its jaws onto the Rocket’s leg in some sort of fire-infused bite.

I gave a yell and emerged from my hiding place. The Rocket Boss jumped at my appearance but then strode towards the helicopter, ignoring both me and the tussle now taking place on the ground behind him. The helicopter’s blades sliced through the air so fast that they looked like a blur; their thumping sound deafening. I dashed over to Criss and pulled the Rocket grunt off of her, beginning a wrestling match of our own.

Now, I’m far from unfit, but besides being tall, I’m not a very big person in the first place. Despite the fire Pokémon still latched to his leg, the Rocket had a definite weight advantage. Within seconds I was pinned to the ground.

Underneath the Rocket’s arm I saw Criss get up on one knee and hurl the knife at the Rocket Boss, who now stood in the helicopter’s bay. The blade sank into his arm as the helicopter slowly began to lift off. I guess they didn’t care about the man they were leaving behind.

The Rocket boss grimaced in pain, but removed the knife. Blood poured from his wound, undoubtedly staining his suit. He let the knife fall to the ground. Almost in slow motion, I saw him put a hand into his jacket and withdraw a gun.

Guns are heavily outlawed; possession of one is worth a life sentence in jail. Gun running is one of Team Rocket’s specialties, but even among the organization they are very rare due to the risk in owning one. I was in way over my head. What had I been thinking? People could die here. Criss could die here. But I wasn’t going to let that happen. With a surge of adrenaline, I hurled the Rocket off of me as the gunshot rang out.

I wasn’t going to be able to pull Criss out of the way.

But it seemed my adrenaline did more than I thought. It took me a second to realize what had happened as the helicopter rose into the sky and disappeared over the crater’s edge. I had tossed the Rocket straight into the path of the bullet. He laid on the ground, dead, his black uniform disguising the pattern of blood blossoming on his back.

Criss knelt, oblivious to all else, staring at the spot where the helicopter had disappeared. I could see the hatred burning in her eyes. I stood up, shivering from the adrenaline coursing through my veins.

“Are you okay?” I asked Criss shakily. I reached out a hand to put on her shoulder.

She shrugged off my hand and turned her head to look at me. I expected her to be crying, but her eyes were dry. “No.”

Without another word she stood up, retrieved her blood-stained knife, wiping it clean on her shirt as she walked back down the stairs. Ever diligent, Flareon stayed by her side. I followed silently.

As we walked through the main chamber, I realized that the two Rockets probably should be tied up. I pointed this out to Criss, who wordlessly walked over to the grunt that I had felled and put her finger to his throat to check his pulse. I glanced at her victim and saw that he lay in a pool of blood. Criss had already slit his throat.

She was a scary person.

I looked back to see Criss climbing the ladder to the exit tunnel. In confusion I went and checked the pulse of the other Rocket myself. There was none. I had directly killed a man. I just turned away, and followed Criss up the ladder. The image of my dad’s burnt carcass swam to the front of my mind. I held it there, hardening myself against any pity or regret I might have.

We climbed steadily back out of the cave. Blinking in the sunlight, we made our way back down the side of the mountain. Criss never said a word. I spent most of the trek scraping dried blood from my nose off of my lips and chin. We stopped at a clearing in the trees to look out at Cerulean City.

It was quite a bit bigger than Pewter City. Downtown was on the side closest to us, orderly blocks organized the nondescript shops and businesses. I recognized the distinctive red roof of a Pokémon Center, as well as a large grey building that had to be the gym. On the far side were rows and rows of houses, as well as a road that led into the hills in the distance. A huge river with a wooden bridge spanning it flowed past the city on our left; and another road led away into the distance to our right.

A few short miles later, we strolled into the city and stopped at a crossroad.

“I’m going to go to the police station,” said Criss. “You keep going on to the Poké Center. It’s not far down this road. I’ll meet you there.” She gestured to the left. It was the first time she had spoken since we had left the crater.

I nodded and looked after her while she went off to the right. She had a past. That much was clear. What had put her on this path? How long had she been doing it? What drove her to such insane lengths? Only time would tell.

Hopefully.

Silently, I continued walking down the road she had indicated. When I reached the center, I turned in my Pokémon to be healed and collapsed on one of the available beds.

*****

NEXT: Who is the man with the Flygon?

I'll try to keep them a little bit shorter in the future :p
 
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Re: "Unpredictable" (Journey Fic)

Really good fic I think your descriptions are good and the main character is good and is pretty much how any teen would act with his pokemon but you might want to give him a name cause I couldn't find it. Also I think criss' character is good and I like the how ruthless she is for an eighteen year old which means that team rocket must have killed her brother in a pretty nasty way. I also think its good how you main character isn't instantly good at battling and even resorts to telling Baron to "get him" showing that at the moment the power of his pokemon is getting him through which is how most trainers start out. You also might want to put more description in your battles to stretch them out a bit as they seem a bit short but if you want to get more story into each chapter just keep them the way they are. So to sum up I really like your fic so if you can pm me when you put up another chapter
 
Chapter 2.5 - Skies above Kanto
Re: "Unpredictable" (Journey Fic)

Thanks for the feedback, the main character's name is Keith. I think I put that in there somewhere, it's tough to introduce him when its in 1st person. The battles will get better, longer, and more detailed as time goes on. I did write these early chapters a long time ago for the most part, so they aren't as high quality.

Here's the next chapter, its actually more of an in-between account of what happens to that creepy guy with a Flygon so its much shorter. I just wrote this for fun the other day and I think it turned out pretty good.

Chapter 2.5

The rhythmic thumping of helicopter rotors woke the young man from his afternoon nap on a ledge near the crater of Mt. Moon. He quickly shook his Flygon awake as well.

“Shit! They let someone get away. I hope they’re okay; I thought she could handle this. Come on, Flygon, it’s go time.”

He leaped onto his companion’s back and put on the pair of goggles that dangled around his neck as it began to beat its powerful wings. Within seconds they had lifted off and were in pursuit of the helicopter. As they zipped over the crater, the man looked down. He saw only one body, wearing a black uniform, and breathed a sigh of relief before turning his attention back to the chase.

As they neared the large black helicopter, the man saw the bright red R emblazoned on its side. But that wasn’t all; the R had a circle around it.

“The boss? I guess that explains a lot,” exclaimed the man. “That letter to Slateport must have been a diversion. At least we didn’t take the bait, huh, Flygon?”

The dragon hummed in response.

“That copter’ll be heavily armored. You ready? We could end this all today…”

Flygon growled in agreement and anticipation. With that, they dove into battle.

A fiery flamethrower lanced from Flygon’s mouth towards the cockpit of the helicopter. The pilot was caught by surprise, but managed to veer the craft out of the way. Almost immediately, the cargo door opened slightly and two Poké Balls were tossed out. A pair of ravenous Fearow burst from them and raced towards the dragon.

“Expendables? These people sicken me.”

With several whispered commands to his Pokémon, a furious air battle began. Luckily, the two Fearow did not reach him at the same time. Unluckily, the bigger one got there first. Flygon managed to slow him down with a sonic boom from its powerful vibrating wings, but they still crashed into each other. The man held on for his life and continued whispering commands.

His dragon let loose a screech that caused both of the Fearow to falter slightly. Flygon tore itself from its current opponent and fell to the level of the smaller bird. At the last second, it whipped around behind the Fearow and hit it with a powerful feint attack. The Flygon’s trainer looked around for the helicopter and spotted it in the distance, speeding away.

The first Fearow had managed to recover by this time and now dove back down, landing a wing attack.

“Let’s take this to your element,” the trainer told his Flygon, and it beat its wings furiously to gain altitude, but turned around right as the Fearow began catching up to it. With a cry, it dove downward at a frightening velocity. Wind roared through the man’s ears as the ground approached rapidly. He didn’t dare have his Pokémon use any of its special abilities until he was sure he had the upper hand. Unlike most trainers, he actually anticipated mirror move.

The man gripped onto his Pokémon tightly as it quickly pulled out of its dive, mere feet from colliding with the trees. The resulting Gs blurred the edges of the man’s vision, but he held on. He turned to see the bigger of the two Fearow expertly pull out of the dive and continue the pursuit. The other Fearow was not so lucky. He could almost hear its bones crunching as it tore through the trees and slammed into the ground with a horrible scream.

“We need to finish this quickly before our quarry gets away.”

Flygon growled in agreement and swooped to the left into a large dirt field.

“Perfect.”

As the Fearow entered the field, it was met with a blinding blast of sand and dust.

“Sand attack, sandstorm, and sand tomb,” said the man. His Pokémon obliged, and the dust whipped around their opponent, finally trapping it.

“Flaahhhgoon!” cried the dragon as it finished its opponent with a deadly hyper beam. As the sandstorm cleared, they could see what was left of the Fearow. It was half buried under the dirt and both of its wings were bent at odd angles. It twitched slightly, then lay still.

The man sighed. “A Pokémon Center could probably save it, but we don’t have time. Come on Flygon….”

He knew his dragon was tired, but he pushed it to catch up with the chopper. He had trained his Pokémon well so they were back on track within minutes. But this time, the pilot saw them coming. He was clearly trained for the job, not just another stupid grunt. The copter whipped around to aim itself at its ambushers. With a mechanical “ka-chunk” two small compartments flipped out of the helicopters nose, revealing a pair of machine guns. An armed helicopter? That was too much.

“Fuck this! Abort, Flygon! DIVE!”

But it was too late. Bullets ripped through his Pokémon’s thin wings and chest, and a shot hit him in the upper left arm as he turned away. It was pain like he had never felt before, pain and horror. The helicopter turned and continued on its journey as the man clutched onto his injured Pokémon with a single arm and fell, silently, through the sky.

He floated in and out of consciousness, but his Pokémon kept fighting for their lives. It beat its injured wings and screamed in pain at the stress on its open wounds, but fought to slow their descent. The last thing the man remembered before he finally passed out was crashing through the trees below.


*****

NEXT: Keith deals with the fallout of his ordeal on Mt. Moon.
 
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Re: "Unpredictable" (Journey Fic)

really good chapter and I'm hoping Flygon survives because its one of my favourite pokemon. wondering how the man is going to fit into the story but I'm sure that will be revealed and your description is much better and feels less rushed
 
Chapter 3 - Cerulean City
Re: "Unpredictable" (Journey Fic)

Fortunately, you won't have to wait long to find out what happens to Mr. Flygon, I have another half chapter on the way. Unfortunately, he won't fit into the story for quite a long time, aside from cameo appearances. The only reason I'm saying this is because I originally wrote the fic without the italicized parts, so don't get your hopes up yet.

Anyways, until I get some more readers and feedback I might as well plow ahead. This chapter is kind of a filler so I'll post the next one soon, maybe tomorrow. Nevertheless, its important.

Chapter 3

How is it that your life can be so quickly torn out from under your feet? I lay awake in my bunk in the Cerulean Pokémon Center, staring at the ceiling. This was it. I was at step two of my journey. This was my dream. I was finally living it. So why did it feel so empty?

Mt. Moon had sapped everything from me, physically and emotionally. I stretched, feeling my sore muscles tighten. There was little reason to lay there feeling sorry for myself. I swung my feet out of bed and glanced at the corpulent man sleeping in the bunk adjacent to mine. He snored and rolled over. Attempting to keep quiet, I wandered around the dorm area until I found the public showers.

I stood in the dark, cramped stall and watched the lukewarm water wash away the dirt and sweat and dried blood. I probably stood there for about ten minutes, not thinking about anything except the uncomfortably strong shower pressure-washing my body.

Once the last physical remnants of Mt. Moon were washed away, I got dressed, retrieved my pack from my bunk, and walked out into the main area.

The Cerulean Center was almost identical to the one in Pewter, but had a slightly larger cafeteria. Looking around the lobby, a bit of my tension left me. A girl rested on a couch in the corner, stroking the Pikachu on her lap as she read a book. A boy my age was talking to someone on the videophones. Such was the life of trainers. This was me now, traveling Kanto with my Pokémon just like I always wanted. That fiasco in Mt. Moon was a fluke. Nothing like that would ever happen again. And besides, I was stronger for having been through it.

Sufficiently pepped up, I picked up my Pokémon from the nurse and made my way into the cafeteria to get some breakfast. I returned Locustod and Baron to my belt right away, but after some thought I let Rainer out to keep me company. The little Squirtle wasn’t terribly talkative, but it was better than sitting alone.

I got breakfast for both Rainer and myself in the little cafeteria off to the side. I took a seat at a table by a window and watched Rainer munch away at the hyper-nutritious Pokémon food the center offered. I wondered how much of yesterday it had been aware of. Some people said that Pokémon had a reasonable level of awareness about what went on outside of their Poké Balls, but I wasn’t sure. The science made no sense to me no matter how many times my brother explained it.

As we were eating, I saw Criss come in. She looked dirty and ragged, like she hadn’t slept all night. Again. Noticing me, she came over and sat down. After how dour and angry she was the day before, I braced myself, sucking in a breath.

“Hey,” she said simply.

I let the breath out. No angst-ridden ultimatums today, apparently.

She gestured to my still wet hair. “The shower helps, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah...” I responded as Flareon jumped up on the table to join us. I raised a hand to gently pet it on its furry mane. It was warm, but didn’t burn me like it had when I grabbed it on the previous day. I cheered inside. Small victories.

Rainer watched it with what might have been jealousy, but could also have simply been wariness. Turtle expressions are tough to read.

Criss looked like she was about to say something else, but then decided against it and settled for staring out the window. All of the hatred and rage from yesterday seemed to be gone.

“Did you even sleep last night?” I asked.

She looked at me for a second. “A bit.”

I wasn’t sure if I believed her. “So how’d the police station visit go?” I asked.

“The surviving Rocket was arrested and brought into town this morning. Here’s your reward.” She slid a wad of bills across the table to me.

“We get rewards?” I asked, astonished, as I picked up the money. It was a fair amount, though not as much as I currently had. To be completely honest, I had more expected to be arrested for being involved in the death of a man. That thought brought a clenching feeling in the pit of my stomach. Appetite lost, I looked down at the remnants of my muffin and pushed it away. Flareon sniffed it curiously.

“Of course,” Criss replied, “Team Rocket is a problem and the police squad appreciates all the help it can get.”

I slowly pocketed the money, trying not to think of it as a bounty, even though that’s exactly what it was. It was too much of a windfall to give up for moral reasons, and in a way I had earned it. “What about the dead guys, are we in trouble for that?”

“Self-defense.”

“Only after we chose to go in there.” I spoke slowly and carefully, terrified of setting her off again.

Criss stared off into the void, somewhere over my left shoulder. “They got what they deserved.”

My moral compass was currently having trouble finding magnetic north, so I didn’t respond to that. “So… what now? What are you going to do next?”

“I’ll probably head down to Vermillion City. I haven’t been there in a while; I might be able to sniff up some new leads. And my Tentacruel needs to swim in saltwater again.” She paused again before adding, “Are you going to stay here?”

“Yeah,” I replied. And once again the rush of being on my journey pushed aside all moral quandaries and existential crises. My best friend Tim was supposedly on his way, as his birthday was only two weeks behind mine. “I’m going to wait for a friend of mine to catch up. He probably won’t be here for a couple weeks.”

“Well…” she drifted off.

Flareon, laying on the table, looked between me and my discarded muffin. I waved a hand. “Oh just take it.” Flareon immediately snatched the muffin up and dove onto Criss’s lap to eat it.

“I’d… I’d better get going,” Criss said, standing suddenly after pushing Flareon aside. “I just want to let you know… I usually work alone, but thanks for having my back at Mt Moon.”

Confidence boost, ahoy! The part of me that had so desperately wanted to impress this girl whooped silently. I nodded, trying to keep a mostly straight face. “Maybe we’ll see each other around sometime?”

“I hope not. For your sake.”

Well that’s nice. I tried to reign in any outward emotional reaction to that statement.

She paused, absentmindedly brushing muffin crumbs off of her sash. “Bye.” She turned to leave but then stopped and looked back at me “Oh yeah, just a bit of advice: get to the Saffron Gym as soon as possible and talk to Sabrina. Tell her I sent you. She’ll be able to teach you quite a bit about battling.” Then she left without waiting for my reply, Flareon prancing after her.

I watched her go, admiring the practiced grace with which she moved.

No. Bad. This girl could turn me inside out with one hand tied behind her back. No inappropriate thoughts allowed.

I sat alone at my table for a few minutes, my thoughts dancing between glee and terror and excitement and gut wrenching stress. So much had happened in the past four days, I couldn’t believe it. I was almost ready to go home already for a few days of rest. Almost. But I needed to focus on the reason I was here.

The leader of the Cerulean Gym was a young woman named Misty. She was a water-type specialist, and that was about all I knew about her. It was enough to infer that I wouldn’t have nearly as much of an advantage as I did against Brock. That meant training, and maybe even poking around for some new Pokémon to catch. I needed to diversify my team, and the greater Cerulean area had plenty of different habitats to find Pokémon in.

I checked the date on my watch. It was the third of September. I did some quick calculations in my head. After I graduated and turned sixteen, I had signed a contract with the Pokémon League to sponsor my journey. The contract basically says that the League will give me a starter Pokémon, a Pokédex, and monthly allowance of cash to go on a journey. In return, I have to travel and challenge the badge circuit. I’m allowed seven weeks between badges before the money stops coming and I’m forced to go work for the Pokémon League for at least two years. Not a bad deal, especially for a kid from a not so well off family like me. Not to mention, if you win eight badges from either Kanto or Johto, challenge the Elite Four and the Champion and win, the contract terminates completely.

So that left me until the middle of October, which would be more than enough time, even if Tim was slow, which was likely. Either way, he was sure to have a much easier time coming through Mt. Moon than I had.

The prospect of having that much time to do nothing but prepare left me with little motivation to do any preparing, but I managed to convince myself to begin by standing up and discarding my breakfast tray. I shouldered my pack and headed out the door. Rainer diligently followed close behind. It was a beautiful day, especially for September. Sunny skies and not a cloud to be seen. I took a seat on a bench on the side of the road a block or so down from the Center, across from a small park.

Rainer and I sat in silence. In the park across the street, the girl with the Pikachu I had seen in the center battled with a boy and his Hoothoot. As we watched the battle play out, I thought wistfully about my journey.

I was really looking forward to Tim showing up. It would be much more fun travelling with him than travelling alone. I looked at Rainer.

“I wonder what kind of Pokémon Tim will have,” I said, both to myself and the Squirtle.

Rainer looked up at me curiously.

“He said he’d choose Charmander as his first Pokémon. I wonder if he went through with that.”

Rainer huffed.

“Maybe you two could be friends.”

Rainer huffed again and punched the back of the bench with its tiny little turtle fist.

“Or you could fight it. That’s cool too.”

*****

A burly ranger nodded at me as she walked by. A mean looking Sandslash followed close behind.

I smiled and nodded hello in return as she continued on down the path towards Mt. Moon. As she disappeared into the forest that lined the grassy field on Route Four where Rainer and I were training, I looked back at my Pokémon.

“That was the third ranger to go by today. They must be increasing patrols after the whole Mt. Moon fiasco.”

Rainer didn’t respond, just continued entertaining itself by shooting another burst of water from its mouth up into the air and letting it rain back down. The little Squirtle been doing that pretty much constantly since that morning, when it had actually rained and I had explained to it what “Rainer” meant. Apparently it took making it rain as some kind of personal responsibility. It was kind of cute at first, but I hoped it was a habit it would eventually get over, since I was starting to get sick of being splashed.

It had been just over a week since we had arrived in Cerulean. Besides exploring the city and attempting to figure out what exactly training Pokémon for battle was all about, I spent a lot of time flipping through my Pokédex.

Professor Oak claimed the Pokédex he had given me had belonged to my dad, though I’d never actually seen him use it. It was a little outdated and a special researcher’s model to boot, so it had some features that I had no idea how to use and lacked some of the conveniences that came with the most recent versions given out by the League. That said, it was immensely useful. There was a lot to learn: the techniques my Pokémon knew, what they could eventually evolve into, and of course the massive amount of information there was on every single Pokémon native to Kanto. I often spent time flipping through entries on random species, trying my best to memorize their capabilities as well. Hopefully that would give me an edge in future battles.

An edge I’d probably need.

“Alright Lord of the Storm, let’s get to finding a new Pokémon to catch,” I gestured towards a taller patch of grass where I had seen a Sandshrew disappear earlier.

Rainer looked at me indignantly. I was getting better at identifying its emotions, but it wasn’t easy.

“Oh hush, I’m not replacing you. Remember catching Baron and Locustod? You’ll have to beat it in a fight before I can even catch it, so you get to establish dominance early. That cool?”

Rainer headed confidently towards the tall grass at the word “fight.”

We beat around in the tall grass for at least an hour until the sun began to dip behind the trees, but all we discovered was that I had not, in fact, outgrown my grass pollen allergies.

So, sneezing and sniffling, I decided to head back to the city for the night. I walked slowly so that Rainer’s stubby little legs could keep up.

We had been training about a mile out on Route 4, near the base of Mt. Moon. The walk wasn’t bad, just a flat trail beside a road through the wheat and corn fields surrounding the city. I’d been taking Rainer and Baron and even Locustod out here to train for the past few days ever since Criss had left. To say it was successful would be a little optimistic, but I was comfortable with how it was all coming along.

“Man, I’d love to catch a new Pokémon though,” I muttered through my stuffed up nose.

Rainer didn’t respond.

“Something that would really give me an advantage over Misty. A grass-type or something. But all we’ve seen is stuff like Sandshrew and Rattata. And we don’t really need another Pidgey, but don’t tell Baron I said that.”

I fell silent and looked south. On clearer days you could see the skyscrapers of Saffron City off in the distance. On this particular evening it was relatively warm, but clouds hung over the forested hills, obscuring any view of the city.

We got back to the center well before dark and ate a light dinner. Rainer’s feet were starting to drag, but I was feeling a little too antsy to spend another evening reading my Pokédex, so I headed out again with my starter back in its ball.

I had yet to visit the fields east of the city, so I decided to go explore. Similar to the western side of the city, the big commercial buildings gave way to typical suburbia for several blocks before opening out into hundreds of acres of farmland.

Part of me wanted to let out Locustod for the sake of company, but that damn Butterfree still hadn’t caught on to the whole “stay close to me and don’t bother other people” thing. I was beginning to regret ever catching it, even if it had done a pretty good job in the battle against Brock.

I followed a straight asphalt road out through the cornfields as the sky began to darken. It was a quiet stroll. Nothing but the light wind and the occasional scampering Pokémon disturbed the silence. In all honesty, it was a kind of boring walk. The road stretched on in a straight line for as far as I could see.

If I remembered my map correctly, the road met up with the Cerulean River at some point, which it followed through the hills to Kanto’s lone hydroelectric power plant. Supposedly the road went through a complex of tunnels and could be taken all of the way to Lavender, but I had no interest in going that far. I turned around so that I would be back in the city by the time it got too dark to see.

I was looking at the ground as I walked, thinking of strategies to use against Misty when I heard the sound of power lines buzzing join the sounds of the wind and the bugs. Except… I wasn’t walking underneath a power line.

I stopped and looked around for the source of the sound. In the field down to my left, something was rustling through the corn, heading slowly towards the road. And buzzing. I lowered a cautious hand to Rainer’s Poké Ball at my belt and tried not to imagine myself running away from an angry Beedrill.

I squinted at the plants, trying to make out the shape of whatever it was. A silvery flash reflecting the dying sunlight caught my eye, and then a metal ball with horseshoe magnets attached to its sides emerged from the corn stalks.

A Magnemite! Now this was a rare occurrence. It must have gotten lost and drifted away from the nearby power plant. I couldn’t let a chance like this get away, I had to catch this Pokémon.

Magnemites are curious creatures. This one’s orb was about eight inches in diameter, smooth and metallic besides the large white spot on the front with a single black dot in the middle that made it look like the Magnemite had a single large eye. What exactly the biological purpose was of that or its magnets or the three screws driven into it, I had no idea.

It stared at me with that emotionless eye. I stared right back, keenly aware that all of my Pokémon were weak to electric-types.

Before I could think of something to do, the Pokémon jerked to the right, its magnets suddenly spinning wildly. A flash of white electricity lanced towards the ground, seemingly randomly. But the provoker of the attack soon showed itself. A little brownish-yellow Sandshrew, much like the one I had seen earlier that day, clambered out of a hole just off the side of the road. It growled menacingly at Magnemite, not noticing me yet. The Magnemite sent another bolt of electricity at it, making a loud snap crack through the air, but it appeared to have no effect. The Magnemite caught onto this immediately. With a blast like a cannon, the Magnemite appeared to kick back, as if by recoil. The road shook slightly and I took a step backwards. That was nothing compared to the effect the attack had on Sandshrew. The little ground-type flipped over backwards onto the road, where it lay for a moment with a soft groan.

Slowly, the Sandshrew stood up and shook itself off. Before the Magnemite could launch another attack, the Sandshrew lunged at its assailant, grabbing on to one of the screws underneath the eye. The Magnemite spun around, trying to shake off the mouse, but it held on tight and continued to scratch and bite. I took a few more steps backwards to give them some room and continued watching in interest. The Magnemite was dragged all of the way down to the ground before it finally managed to get the Sandshrew in front of it and used another one of those concussive attacks, blasting the Sandshrew into the rows of corn.

I racked my brain for a second before deciding that the attack had to be a sonic boom. It was probably one of the few non electricity based attacks the Magnemite could do.

Having either been knocked out or scared away, the Sandshrew did not emerge from the corn.

The Magnemite turned back to me. I quickly pulled Rainer’s ball from my belt and dropped it. Tired or not, Rainer appeared on the road, ready to battle. The Magnemite floated not far from the ground, scuffed and beaten from its short fight with the Sandshrew.

“Tackle,” I said confidently.

The Magnemite didn’t even attempt to dodge as Rainer leaped towards it, slamming into it shell first.

The Magnemite dropped like the hunk of metal it was. Rainer quickly regained its footing and prepared to attack again, but I stopped it.

“Hold on,” I said, looking at the fallen Magnemite. It was unmoving. “It must be too tired to fight.”

I couldn’t tell if Rainer found this news to be promising or disappointing.

I slid down the short dirt bank and walked over to the Magnemite’s body. Rainer came forward timidly and poked it. The tiny turtle clearly got an electric shock, because it jumped about a foot backwards with a panicked squeal. Even then, the Magnemite didn’t move.

Well that was easy.

I grabbed one of the empty Poké Balls that I kept on my belt and pulled it off. “This seems kinda like cheating, but…” I went ahead and dropped the ball on the Magnemite. There was pop and a flash of red light that enveloped the Magnemite. An instant later, only a wobbling Poké Ball sat in the dirt. I watched its shaking and quivering slowly die down until it was totally still.

I reached down and picked the ball up. The metal was warm, indicating the presence of a Pokémon inside of it. I looked between the ball and Rainer, not entirely sure how to respond to this rather anti-climactic capture.

“Well not everything can be an exciting duel to the death, right?”

Rainer looked unconvinced.

“You can train with it later.”

The Squirtle seemed to find that a bit more encouraging. I looked back at the ball again and thought for a moment.

“Tesla. Yeah. I like that.”

Rainer huffed.

“Well I think it’s a cool name.”

Rainer huffed again.

“Look, learn to speak English and I’ll let you name the next one. Deal?”

Rainer head-butted me hard in the leg, knocking me into the dirt. I couldn’t help but laugh as I rubbed my sore shin. Rainer gave me the turtle equivalent of a smirk.

It was getting dark, so I pushed myself back to my feet and headed back into town, one Pokémon richer.

*****

NEXT: What happened to the man with the Flygon? AND Keith has some realizations.
 
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Chapters 3.5 & 4 - Forest near Celadon & Nugget Bridge
Re: "Unpredictable" (Journey Fic)

Woohoo double whammy! but the first chapter is pretty short so it hardly counts. I have plans for a few edits to help the fic's curb appeal. Not that I really care how many people read it, I just want more feedback! The edits should be online in the next week or so.

Anyways, this time, Sir Flygon's story continues (he'll be named soon enough, just give me time), albeit briefly. Then, Keith goes out to practice with his newest Pokemon on Nugget Bridge, where he meets a relatively hostile young woman. Several journey fic cliches are explained in the process and you get some back story on Keith.

Chapter 3.5

In a dense forest just north of Celadon City, a man lay broken and bleeding among the twigs and pinecones littering the ground. His eyes flickered open some time after he had fallen. Had it been minutes or hours, he couldn’t tell. The bullet still stuck in his left shoulder had miraculously avoided hitting anything vital. The wound itself had clotted, making his torn gray shirt stick to him.

He rolled onto his back and attempted to push himself upright. His left arm felt broken, as did at least one rib. It was hard to differentiate exact sources of that kind of pain. He could feel bruises around his eyes where his flight goggles had cut into his face. He tore them off, shoved them into his jacket pocket, and took stock of the situation.

Flygon had clearly been able to slow their fall enough to prevent death, but had worsened her wounds in the process. She lay in a heap not far away, blood dripping slowly from dozens of wounds.

Gingerly, the man eased his backpack off of his injured shoulder and pulled out a water bottle. Ground-types had no fondness for water being poured on their faces, but it would wake her up.

Sure enough, Flygon’s eyes flickered open behind their goggle-like encasings. She gave a mournful groan, painfully weak.

“Easy, girl. I know. Just let me get you back into your Poké Ball and we can get to the nearest center. I’m pretty sure we’re close to Celadon. We’ll be there in no time.” He forced a smile, but Flygon didn’t seem to share his optimism.

The man reached for his belt, but the dragon’s ball was not there. Panicking slightly, he looked around where he had fallen. He found the ball in pieces, halfway hidden by an old tree branch. It was irreparably broken. The man let out a groan of his own.

“I guess we should have brought the others after all, huh?” he said to Flygon.

He got no response besides some pained breathing.

“Travelling light, my ass” he muttered, resigning himself to his fate. “Might as well get started then.”

With a grunt, he grabbed Flygon’s arm and pulled her mostly upright. He shifted her weight onto his mostly uninjured side and took a step forward. Then another. Like this, he haltingly made his way towards the city.

(--o--)​

Chapter 4

Not a day goes by that I don’t miss my dad, but some days from when I wake up to when I go to bed he’s all I can think about. Two days after catching Tesla, I had one of those days.

My dad was exactly who I wanted to be when I grew up. Sure, I wasn’t exactly on the same career path, but if I could emulate him in every other way I would be more than happy. He was a great listener, always quiet when there was nothing to say, but witty and charming when there was a real conversation to be had. He was damn smart, a hard worker, and irreconcilably curious.

Nothing had been the same since he died. This journey had become everything. The only thing.

I felt lost and empty. I had been thrown down this path without the one person who could help me the most. There was so much I still wanted to ask him, so many questions I still had. But the opportunity had passed. I was left to answer those questions myself.

That’s what’s so painful about death. It’s the only really permanent thing in life. There’s no way to undo it, no way to make amends and try again, no way to go back and tell yourself to please, please make the most of what little time you have left. Because you didn’t know how little time that was. And then, before you know it, it’s passed.

I was sitting on a ragged leather couch in the Cerulean Pokémon Center’s lobby, turning my Pokédex over in my hands and clenching my jaw. No Pokémon was out to keep me company. Honestly, I just didn’t really feel like dealing with any of them at the moment.

Was that okay? It didn’t seem like the kind of thought that a good trainer would have.

With that thought came a sudden, unexpected deluge of doubt.

What did my Pokémon really think of me? Who was I to them? Did they listen to me out of respect, or fear? Were either of those feelings justified?

What kind of trainer was I?

My thoughts drifted back to my dad. He hadn’t been a trainer, but had an intense love for and fascination with all living things.

I hated to admit it, but I was lonely and homesick, and it was getting to me.

I looked around the lobby, but I was completely alone. Even the girl with the Pikachu, who I had never really had a conversation with, had left for Saffron a couple days prior. It was a sight I knew I’d have to get used to, but not one that was particularly reassuring. Pokémon battling was pretty common, but running the full gym circuit and the League sanctioned journey was at an all-time low in popularity. We hadn’t seen a new champion in a full decade. Redd McMahon, the current champion, wasn’t even that cool.

The journey was many a child’s dream, but almost no one’s reality.

It was my reality, but not one I felt I was fully prepared to take ownership of.

I glanced over at the pair of videophones sitting by the entrance to the cafeteria. They were dark and silent, with the exception of a single blinking green standby light. With a groan that would have been quieter if anyone else had been around to hear it, I sidled over to the machines and sat down. I pulled the receiver off of the hook and dialed a number that already made me feel more at home.

My house back in Pallet Town didn’t have any cameras set up. Hell, we only had one computer and a bad internet connection. I leaned forward over the little desk and rubbed my eyes with the hand not holding the receiver.

It rang once. Twice.

“Hello?”

“Hey Mom, it’s Keith.”

“Keith! Oh it’s so good to hear your voice! How are you doing? Where are you calling from?”

“I’m fine. I’m hanging out in Cerulean for a few weeks while Tim catches up.”

“Well, he left earlier this morning. I didn’t get the chance to see him off, but I’m sure he’s eager to catch up with you.”

I had nearly forgotten that today was Tim’s birthday. Pretty soon he’d be going through all of the same stuff I had been through. Or maybe not. Hopefully not.

“Yeah, I’m looking forward to seeing him too.”

“Have you met anyone else so far? Other trainers?”

“Yeah…” How much did I tell her? I didn’t want her to worry. I didn’t want her to think I wasn’t ready for this. “I met a girl in Pewter and we went through Mt. Moon together.”

“A girl? You’re actually talking to girls now? Your father would be proud.”

I laughed lightly. “Mom, I’ve talked to girls before.”

“That’s news to me,” she teased. “Was she cute?”

“I… yeah, I guess. But she left after we got here.”

“I heard the Rangers caught a poaching operation or something in Mt. Moon recently. Team Rocket, I think. Did that affect your travel plans at all?”

I paused. “Actually…” I paused again, awkwardly long this time. The words were caught in my throat, refusing to come out. The panicky, self-preservation part of me didn’t want to talk about it. At all. Especially not to my mom, who’d certainly freak out.

“No,” I said finally. “It happened the day after we came into Cerulean.”

It was her turn to pause. “Was there a reason you called?”

“I just… I’ve been having a kind of bad day. I miss home. I’m having some doubts. And I’ve just been thinking about Dad.”

“He’d be very proud of you right now.”

“Yeah,” I said softly. It was all I could say.

“Keith, it’s okay to be worried and afraid. You’re on your own for the first time. There’s a lot of responsibility that comes with the freedom, but I know you’ll be fine. I know you, you’re a hard worker and you’re persistent. Just tackle your problems one at a time and before you know it, you’ll be a whole new person. A stronger person.”

“I guess I didn’t think that growing up would be such a pain in the butt,” I said.

“Oh it is. And it’s a pain in the butt that everyone has to go through at some point. You’ve chosen a very challenging path, but a very rewarding one. Would you rather be out on one of the fishing boats?”

I sighed. “No…”

“Because I know for a fact that’s what some of your old classmates are doing right now.”

“I know.” That did help put some of this in a better perspective.

Mom paused again. “Well, I appreciate you calling me. If you ever need to talk, I’m here.”

“Thanks.”

"That said, this journey is about you. Don’t feel like you need to call me regularly. I miss you and your brother terribly, but I know you need to learn to be on your own.”

“Thanks,” I said again.

“I love you, Keith.”

“I love you too, Mom.”

*****

I spent most of the rest of the day trying to get Tesla better acquainted with the rest of the team. It wasn’t imperative as far as battling goes, but my Pokémon getting along would make traveling a lot easier.

Sitting in the damp grass in the park near the Pokémon Center, I watched my team interact with each other. Or rather, mostly just Rainer and Tesla playing around. They had hit it off quite well, and had taken to playing a game where Rainer attempted to climb on top of Tesla, who would try its best to be totally unclimbable as it hovered about a foot off the ground. Baron sat at my side, eyes closed, probably sleeping. Locustod fluttered above, unsure of if or how it wanted to join in.

I had four Pokémon now, which was pretty cool. Six was the maximum allowed in League sanctioned battles, and I only had that many slots on my belt, but nothing was stopping me from catching more. I honestly wasn’t sure if I would. From my research over the past couple days, I had discovered that there were two schools of thought. One held that it was best to find six Pokémon that you worked really well with, and focus on training them. The other believed that if you had a wide variety of Pokémon at your disposal, you could out-diversify your opponents by always being able to exploit their weaknesses through type advantages and different synergies. The latter was pretty common in the professional competitive circuit, but journeying trainers liked to stick with the former, since it was hard to find the resources to care for more than about six Pokémon anyway. My plan at this point was to catch a full and varied team as soon as possible so that we could get used to each other and be a part of the same journey from the very beginning. I was off to a good start.

While I mused, Rainer had finally been able to clamber atop Tesla, wedging its little turtle feet between Tesla’s magnets and body and holding on to the screw on top of its head like some kind of weird alien cowboy. Tesla responded by humming calmly and rolling forward, sending Rainer face first into the grass.

I laughed at them. “Look, if you guys have all of this energy then let’s go out and channel it into some training.”

At the word “training,” Rainer scrambled upright and looked at me eagerly. Tesla followed suit, albeit with the only emotionless blank stare that its species was capable of.

I put a hand on Baron’s head to wake the bird up, and looked up for Locustod.

The damn bug was gone.

I swore out loud and stood up, looking around the field. A spot of purple flicking between the leaves of a nearby maple tree caught my attention. I swore again and strode towards the base of the tree, my other three Pokémon in tow.

“Locustod, get down here. We’re leaving,” I called up the tree.

The Butterfree was barely visible through the thick branches and oversized maple leaves. I heard a defiant chirping from above.

My swearing growing ever more colorful, I plucked Locustod’s ball from my belt, but it would be impossible to recall the mischievous bug through the foliage. “Baron, do me a favor and get it down from there. Do whatever it takes. I really don’t have time for this.”

I was planning on crossing Nugget Bridge to the other side of the river, where there was supposed to be a whole new array of Pokémon to see. It wasn’t a short walk, and given that it was the afternoon already, I’d want to leave right away if I was planning on getting back by dinner time.

Not that I had a scheduled dinner time or anything. I was simply just as much at the mercy of my appetite as I was back at home. Turns out that a decline in the quality of food doesn’t make you any less hungry.

Baron obediently flew up into the tree. There was a brief commotion, followed by a gust of wind that sent leaves flying out across the field. Not far behind them came a tumbling Butterfree. I quickly recalled Locustod before it could right itself.

Baron dove out of the tree and alighted neatly on the grass.

“Thanks, buddy. Let’s go.”

I had to recall Rainer about halfway to the bridge, as Squirtle legs had a hard time keeping up with the rest of us.

Nugget Bridge was a popular tourist destination as far as Cerulean City landmarks go and was locally famous for its amazing views of the sunset behind Mt. Moon as well as its excellent fishing. The wooden bridge spanned the entire considerable width of the Cerulean River, and was wide enough that the few dozen people on it didn’t make it seem crowded at all.

Hands in my jacket pockets and shoulders hunched to escape the cool breeze coming off of the river, I walked beside one of the wooden railings. Baron, now far too big to ride on my shoulder, hopped beside me to my right. Tesla bobbed along to my left, absentmindedly dragging a magnet along the chain-link siding of the bridge with a repetitive tickatickatickaticka.

I looked wistfully out at Mt. Moon’s looming green and brown mass, miles to the west. I sighed and stopped walking to lean against the railing. My two Pokémon rested beside me.

The mountain seemed so harmless from here, like it couldn’t pose more of a problem than simply a hard day’s hike.

I shook my head. I had made it through those trials, and come out stronger. I couldn’t let fear of something similar happening in the future force me to hesitate. If it did, I would make it through again.

Part of me missed Criss. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever see her again, but I wanted to. She was something between a curiosity and an inspiration.

My reverie was interrupted by a girl a few years older than me with a Pidgey perched on her shoulder.

“That’s a cool Magnemite,” she said, brushing strands of bushy brown hair out of her face as she leaned in to get a look at Tesla. Tesla turned to stare back at her with what could have been rapt fascination, abject terror, or literally any other kind of reaction. I really needed to learn how to read Magnemite body language.

“Thanks,” I said. “Just caught it.”

“Magnemite will wander over from the power plant sometimes,” she said. “They usually stick to the eastern fields though, so people don’t really see them and catch them.”

“Yeah, that’s where I caught this one.”

She looked at me cynically. “What were you doing over on the east side? There’s nothing over there.”

I was a little taken aback. “Just… walking. I’m not from here, so I felt like exploring.”

“Where are you from?”

“Pallet,” I said before adding, “I’m on a League journey.”

She leaned back as if she might catch some kind of disease from me and looked me up and down. “Oh… you’re one of… those people.”

I took a deep breath. “Yes. I am.”

She gave a mocking laugh that made Baron bristle. “You do realize no one actually does that anymore.”

She wasn’t wrong. Most people these days went straight to college and got a regular job. Accepting the League challenge is seen as the poor man’s way out. On top of that, people rarely win. That’s an established fact. I was aware that there existed a stigma among some that people like me, who actually think they have a chance at winning, are immature and a little crazy.

Despite all of that, Tim, David, and I had all promised each other that we would take the challenge and try our hardest to become champions. For me, it hadn’t really been a choice. I’m sure if I had actually said no then my mom would have found a way to pay for me to get through college, but I didn’t want to put that burden on her. Uninvited, an image of my dad once again appeared in my mind’s eye.

I clenched my teeth and look at Baron, whose angry eyes were glancing between me and this girl.

Anger and pride squashed any reservations I’d been having. “What makes you think I won’t make it? I doubt you could beat me.”

I almost regretted it as soon as I said it. Maybe calling this girl’s dignity into question was that great of an idea.

The regret didn’t last long. She was being a jerk, and we had the perfect way to bring her down a peg.

“Oh yeah? I’ll accept that challenge,” she said with an arrogant smirk.

“Right here?”

“Yeah right here. People battle on the bridge all the time.”

I accepted. We walked down a little farther anyways to avoid the crowds. Baron seemed pleased with my reactions. “Here’s good,” she said, “Three on three?”

“I’ll win with two.” I said confidently. This made her even angrier.

She sent out her first Pokémon, an angry little ball of brown fur that I recognized as a Mankey. I had read about these. They were fighting-types that specialized in fast, hard punches and kicks.

I looked at Tesla and nodded. It hovered in front of me with an excited buzz. It would be at a type disadvantage, but I had a plan.

“Mankey! Focus energy!” cried the girl.

“Break that focus with a screech,” I commanded calmly.

Tesla’s magnets spun, letting out a high pitched squeal of metal scraping on metal. I tried hard not to let even a slight wince of annoyance cross my face, but I doubt my opponent would have noticed. She was covering her ears. The Mankey had followed suit, any possible effects of its previous technique was gone. “Sonic boom,” I said through gritted teeth.

The blast sent the Mankey skidding off across the bridge’s thick wooden planks. The girl was outraged.

Tesla was good at powerful attacks from a distance. All I had to do was make sure that the Mankey couldn’t get close, and the type advantage would be irrelevant.

A rush of excitement pumped through me. This is what it was all about. The payoff of hours of training for both myself and my Pokémon. The spur of the moment strategies. I could never regret leaving to go on this journey. It may not have been exactly what I had expected, but it was more than I had hoped for.

“Get up! Use karate chop!” the girl ordered.

But it was too far away, Tesla’s thundershock hit the pig monkey as it leaped through the air. Its slightly singed body rolled almost up to my feet. I wrinkled my nose, it smelled horrible. I resisted the urge to nudge it away with my toe.

The girl silently recalled Mankey and sent out a cute little pale blue female Nidoran. This was going to be even easier.

I called Tesla back to my side and threw out Rainer’s Poké Ball. At the sight of a battle, Rainer lit up with excitement for a second before gaining a deadly seriousness.

There was something to be said for having a Pokémon that loved battling even more than I did.

The two battling Pokémon slowly stepped around each other, waiting for their trainers’ commands. Rainer looked over its shoulder at me. I thought for a moment.

“This one’s all yours,” I whispered. Rainer nodded.

“Nidoran, tackle!” cried the girl. It jumped forward. Rainer braced its feet on the edge of one of the planks making up the bridge’s deck and stuck out its arms. My Squirtle was clearly at a much higher level than the Nidoran. The little blue Pokémon tackled with its whole body, but Rainer stood steady, pushing against its head. Tesla bounced excitedly beside me and floated low to the ground, as if to get a better view. Baron ruffled its feathers contentedly.

Then Rainer pulled a surprise move. It rolled forward, over the Nidoran, landing on its own back. This caused the Nidoran to do a flip of its own as Rainer had grabbed a hold on its ears. Without hesitation, the tiny turtle Pokémon tossed the Nidoran at one of the bridge handrails. It collapsed, with a whimper.

My Squirtle got up and looked at me smugly. “Wow, Rainer that was awesome,” I commented. Tesla buzzed loudly and spun around in what could only be happiness.

I looked at Rainer. “Let’s do this next one together.”

The girl had withdrawn her Nidoran. She was staring at me and pouting slightly. Then she looked at the Pidgey on her shoulder and nodded. The bird jumped off its perched and dived at Rainer with a cry. Inspired by my starter’s stunning solo performance, I began to call out commands.

“Bubble!” A stream of silvery bubbles jetted from Rainer’s mouth. They did little but make the Pidgey blink and slow its dive. It was enough for Rainer to easily roll out of the way, forcing the Pidgey to pull up sharply to avoid crashing into the ground.

“Now hit it with a water gun before it turns around!” I commanded. The blast of water sent the Pidgey flying, fast.

“Pidgey, grab the handrail and use gust.” The bird clawed at the board and got a grip before the water torrent launched it out into the river. It beat its wings furiously and a powerful gust of air began to push the blast of water back, inch by inch, dissipating it into a spray. We were at a stalemate.

I looked at Pidgey. The rapid flapping of its wings was quickly drying them. If only it were raining, then it wouldn’t be able to fly well at all. Raining…

Duh.

I put up the hood on my jacket. “Rainer, dig in and do what you do best!”

Rainer gave a cry of excitement and dug its feet into the planks once more to avoid getting blasted backwards by Pidgey’s gust, and sprayed water straight up into the air.

Pidgey’s wings slowed their frantic pace as it looked at Rainer in confusion. Without as ideal of an angle, the spray of water covered the whole bridge, raining down in fat, cold droplets.

Seeing that gust was having little damaging effect at that distance, the girl ordered Pidgey to charge Rainer once more.

Pidgey jumped off of the handrail and attempted to fly forward, but its wings were getting soaked in the downpour. Slowed, it didn’t get far.

“Finish it.”

A single water gun directed straight at the soaked, defenseless bird was all it took to seal the deal.

I pulled my hood down as the last drops fell. “Nice job, buddy!”

Rainer didn’t respond, just hunched forward slightly.

“Rainer? Are you okay?”

As a soft white shine began to show from the inside of Rainer’s shell, I realized what was happening.

The evolution was even faster than Baron’s had been. Long white ears almost like feathers sprouted from Rainer’s head, its tail split, and it grew almost a foot taller over the course of a few seconds. As the glow faded, I could see that Rainer’s tail was now a brilliant white, and its shell and skin were considerably darker shades of red and blue.

Finally, Rainer looked at me with a wide grin that revealed some impressive fangs. Tesla chattered in what I assumed was surprise or amazement.

The girl withdrew her Pokémon and sneered at me. “Whoop de doo, you beat an amateur trainer and your Squirtle evolved. Do you want a medal?”

Even her shitty attitude couldn’t dampen my spirits now. “I’ll settle for a Cascade Badge from Misty.”

She just gave a big, “humph” and walked by me with her arms crossed.

Rainer and Tesla chattered in laughter and gave each other an awkward sort of Pokémon high five. Even Baron seemed to be excited by the win. I looked down at my new Wartortle and smiled.

I was on my journey now. Regardless of my own doubts or the doubts of others, I was actually doing it. I was on my journey now. Nothing else mattered.

*****

NEXT: Keith challenges Misty! Or I might throw in another half chapter. We'll see how it works out. Oh the suspense!
 
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Re: "Unpredictable" (Journey Fic)

Another really good pair of chapters and I particularly liked the way that people who challenge the league are thought of as delusional and childish seen as it does seem like an odd thing to want to do and it also explains why everyone isnt challenging the league. I must admit it would have been nice for magnemite to put up some of a fight seen as it seemed like the other trainer should really have got it but its still good and I'm glad Flygon is alive. If you wouldnt mind I could do with a review of my fics and the links in the sig so if you've got time have a look and tell me what you think
 
Chapter 5 - Battle vs Misty
Re: "Unpredictable" (Journey Fic)

Like I said, that wasn't a very well written chapter (#3). I originally had a later scene where that other trainer became relevant, but I ended up scrapping it. I should have gone back and took him out. I have actually read your fic before but I was too lazy to write a response, which I have just gone back and done.

This next chapter will be the last one for a little while. The main reason for this: chapter 6 is HORRIBLE. I have decided to rewrite it completely, which will take some time. Other reasons: I want to take some time to go back and change some previous chapters as well as edit the first post to see if I can attract some potential reviewers. I also want to continue the actual writing, where I am on to chapter 18. I probably won't catch up for a while anyways, but if I keep editing rather than writing I will eventually. As soon as I get through with writing the next action scene I will continue posting.

Anyways, on to the chapter. Keith battles Misty... yeah.

Chapter 5


Two days after the battle on Nugget Bridge, I strode down Cerulean’s main thoroughfare towards the Cerulean City Gym. I was almost shaking with nervousness and excitement. I didn’t have a lot of experience battling against Pokémon that used their special abilities rather than physical attacks. Misty’s water-types could be a challenge, but I was ready. I ran my thumb along the four Poké Balls at my belt, feeling their warmth. They were ready too.

The gym was a relatively innocuous concrete building, unremarkable but for the red and white Poké Ball logo of the Pokémon League that hung above its doors. I had walked by it several times, but this time I would be going inside for my second gym badge.

As I hauled open the door, a warm breeze smelling strongly of chlorine hit me in the face. I found myself in a small lobby with a blue tiled floor and an array of kitschy beach themed decorations. Besides the grinning water-types painted on the walls, I was alone.

“Hello?” I called out, edging my way around a reception desk to look through a glass door on the far side of the room. The main room of the gym lay on the other side: an Olympic-sized pool with a collection of brightly colored platforms floating on its gently rippling surface. I pushed open the door in search of the faintly echoing voices I could hear on the other side.

My shoes squished quietly on the wet cement around the pool. Metal bleachers sat on the far side of the pool, completely empty. A man in a gray t-shirt and jeans was messing around with a nest of cables attached to microphones and cameras that I could see mounted around the room.

The voices I had heard came from a woman in a red shirt that looked like a League referee and a girl no more than a few years older than me that had to be Misty. She had vivid orange hair that was plastered to her head by water, indicating she’d recently gotten out of the pool. She noticed me before I could call out.

“Hi! Are you a challenger?” Her bubbly voice echoed around the room.

“Yeah,” I called back. “Is this a good time?”

“Yes! Yes it is!” She immediately made her way over with the awkward, jumpy speed-walk of someone who wants to run, but doesn’t want to slip and get a concussion. Her bare feet slapped on the cement. When she reached me, she excitedly stuck out her hand and introduced herself. “I’m Misty! I’m the leader of this Gym!”

Trying my best not to admire her shapely swimmer’s legs – a difficult prospect, given that she wasn’t wearing any more than a t-shirt over a swimsuit – I shook her hand. “Keith. I’m journeying from Pallet.”

“Really? That’s awesome!”

Damn. You’d think this was her first time meeting a fellow trainer. “What’s up with the… stuff?” I gestured to the camera equipment that the man was still toiling over.

“Oh! He’s from PBN. They’re filming battles here for a couple days for some TV show.” She leaned in a bit closer and continued in a whisper, “Between you and me, they’re aching for content, and aren’t really finding it here. Not a lot of challengers recently.”

“Oh, okay.” I was going to be on TV!

After a round of introductions, filling out forms, and deciding on rules, I finally stood in the white rectangle on the far side of the pool from Misty. I would not be allowed to leave until the battle was over.

It was to be a two versus two battle again, with both sides being allowed substitutions. Upon hearing that I had only beaten Brock, Misty picked out a pair of Poké Balls from her collection of about a dozen. The pool would be our battlefield, with the platforms providing a surface for Pokémon that couldn’t swim.

Before I had a chance to calm my nerves, the referee began the battle.

Misty sent a Poké Ball lazily arcing towards one of the platforms. It burst open to reveal the golden, star shaped Staryu. I’d seen tons of these things clinging to rocks in the tide pools along Pallet’s beach. They’d never seemed like very good fighters, but I couldn’t underestimate anything that Misty put out.

I plucked Tesla’s Poké Ball from my belt and threw it forward.

"Staryu! Swift!” cried Misty.

“Do the same,” I commanded.

A barrage of flashes shot-gunned from both Pokémon, slapping into the water, peppering the platforms, and not doing much damage at all.

I decided to avoid pretense and go straight for the kill, if only to see what Misty had up her sleeve. “Thundershock,” I told Tesla.

The Magnemite’s magnets spun around, crackling with bright white electricity that lanced towards Staryu.

“Dodge and use minimize!” Misty cried.

With surprising deftness, the Staryu leaped to another platform. The thundershock did nothing more than leave a smoking black mark on the platform where Staryu had previously been. Before I could order another attack, Staryu’s arms began to contract into its body. The whole Pokémon was shrinking. It was only going to get harder to hit. Obviously, it wasn’t going to go into the water of its own accord. Misty was smarter than that.

I looked at Staryu, then at Tesla, then at the water, a simple plan forming in my head.

“Tesla, drop underwater and use sonic boom.” Getting wet might mess with Tesla’s magnetism, making it harder for it to stay in the air, but I wasn’t confident enough in my physics knowledge to be sure.

With a soft “sploosh!” my Pokémon disappeared underwater. A moment later, there was an explosion. A huge wave overturned nearly all of the platforms, unceremoniously dunking Staryu and splashing Misty.

“Come on…” I clenched my fists.

“Staryu! Out of the water!” Misty cried.

But Tesla rose from the now rough surf first, upside down and staring at me in… something.

“Thundershock the water!”

There was a flash, a loud crackle, and a second later Staryu was bobbing gently on the surface.

“Staryu is unable to battle. Misty, send out your next Pokémon!” called the referee. I tried not to look at any of the cameras. This was going very well.

“Go, Starmie!” A bigger, purple version of Staryu with twice as many arms appeared on one of the platforms. Tesla backed up to me and gave what sounded like a groan. I had seen less of these in Pallet’s tide pools, and they were not very nice. Mostly because of psychic attacks.

“I know, Tesla. Hang in there. I just need you to get a couple of attacks off, then you’re coming out. Stay strong.”

Misty and Starmie were silent, watching and waiting for me to make the first move. It was clearly a trap. I took the bait, “Tesla, thundershock.”

“Light screen!”

A panel of light appeared in front of the purple starfish and dissipated the oncoming energy bolts. Nearly no damage could get through it. “Follow up with a confusion!” commanded Misty.

“Well that’s great,” I muttered, stumbling for a response. “Uhh… thunder wave!”

Tesla released the wave right before the confusion got a grip on him. The low power attack passed straight through the light screen and crackled around Starmie. It appeared to have no effect but I knew that Starmie would be moving considerably slower after that, if it decided to move at all. The starfish ignored the attack and strengthened its psychic hold on Tesla. A red aura flickered around my Pokémon like ghostly fire. Tesla was shuddering. I hoped that its partial steel typing at least helped some.

“Try to break free,” I told my Magnemite. “Use swift.”

It struggled for a second, and the eerie glow surrounding it softened almost unnoticeably. It was enough for the Magnemite to shoot out only a few blasts of energy. They splattered harmlessly across the light screen but broke the Starmie’s concentration enough for Tesla to have some reprieve from the psychic grip.

“Let’s do the same thing as before. It worked, so why not? You’re doing great!”

The steel ball dropped towards the water, but was suddenly frozen by another confusion.

“Fight it, Tesla!” I shouted encouragement to my Pokémon as it slowly inched downwards. As soon as the waves still rocking from its last sonic boom wave began to lick the bottom of Tesla’s orb, I decided that was enough. “Just fire a sonic boom into the water now!”

The blast sent a weaker wave rocking across the pool, but it was enough to topple Starmie.

Another flash, another crackle, and then…

Starmie leaped from the water, hurt but still ready to go.

"Okay, again!” I commanded.

“Recover!” Misty told her Pokémon. The burns and marks on Starmie’s flesh glowed with psychic power as they healed themselves.

I groaned. There went all that work. I ordered another thunder shock.

“Rapid spin!”

Starmie dodged the electricity easily and came spinning across the pool towards Tesla. The poor Magnemite was too tired to defend itself. It was launched up into the air with the attack and came slamming back down on one of the platforms. This was looking painful.

“That’s enough,” I said waving at the referee. I recalled Tesla, considering my next options.

“Magnemite has been declared unable to battle. Keith, send out your next Pokémon.”

My fingers traced over the rest of the balls on my belt. Baron was powerful, but couldn’t do much if Starmie went underwater. Locustod was the same, and was at even more of a disadvantage if it got wet.

I smiled inwardly as I took Rainer’s ball from my belt. It wasn’t the best option, but it would have to do. As my Wartortle appeared in front of me, I looked across at Misty. She was smiling brightly, either glad to be battling, happy to have finally taken down Tesla, or both.

"Rainer,” I whispered to my Pokémon, “dive under the water and come up into a tackle.”

Misty was waiting for me to make the first move again. She was clearly expecting another special attack as a light screen began glittering in front of her Starmie. But as soon as Rainer dived, she realized her mistake. She called for Starmie to dodge the attack, but as the saying goes: “Wartortles swim damn fast.”

It’s not much of a saying and I did just make it up, but it is, at least, true. Still slowed by Tesla’s thunder wave, Starmie was completely vulnerable when my Pokémon came rocketing out of the water at it.They collided with a crunch and my Wartortle dragged Misty’s Starmie down into the deep water of the pool. They were beyond our reach. It was all about how strong our Pokémon were. There was no more that neither I nor Misty could do. Honestly, Misty’s Starmie was probably better trained, but after witnessing my then Squirtle’s stunning performance on Nugget Bridge, I was confident that the little damage that Tesla had done would be more than enough to give us the victory. And indeed, not two minutes later, Rainer came blasting out of the water with Starmie held high above its head and tossed its body onto a platform before landing on its feet, facing the cameraman with that crooked, turtle grin.

“Starmie is unable to battle. Misty is out of useable Pokémon. Keith wins the battle!”

“Starmie, return.” said Misty, sounding slightly disappointed.

Unable to contain my smile, I looked at one of the cameras, then at Rainer. And as the realization that I had just won my second badge washed over me, I laughed.

*****

NEXT: A new old friend returns for the first time!
 
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Re: "Unpredictable" (Journey Fic)

Another good chapter and I like the innovative way sonic boom was used as it shows more imagination than just using the moves in their basic forms. I also like the way Keith returned Tesla before he fainted as it shows he actually cares about his pokemon and doesnt want to see them hurt. I look forward to the next chapter
 
Chapter 6 - The Wilderness Around Cerulean
Re: "Unpredictable" (PG-13)

Okey dokey I'm back now. I'm not quite as far as I want with my writing but I have the next three chapters all proofread and ready to be posted. It's finals week for me starting Tuesday so this is it until next weekend.

I completely rewrote this chapter from the ground up but I'm still not entirely satisfied. Nevertheless I don't really know how to make it better so here it is. It's incredibly important to the whole overall plot line in about a million ways so its not like I could skip it.

This time: something "unpredictable" happens to Keith, Tim finally catches up, and Keith goes for a new Pokemon. The way Keith and Tim act around each other is largely based off how me and my friends act minus the inside jokes and most of the sexual innuendos (but I couldn't keep all of those out, wheres the fun in that?). Feedback is much appreciated and encouraged. I am seriously considering murdering the grammar and spelling in the first chapter just to get people's attention and to get them to comment . But I digress:

Chapter 6

I took a deep breath as I jogged along the trail. It burned my lungs wonderfully. The days were getting colder.

About a week after I beat Misty, I had developed a routine of training my Pokémon at the Cerulean Gym and going for a run in the evening just before sundown. Today I was on my usual path along the river north of the city.

It felt good to get out without my Pokémon after spending all day training with them. I still brought my Pokédex along in case I came across anything interesting that I might want to come back and catch, but it was mostly time for me to relax and think. Not to mention the sunset on the river was gorgeous.

I slowed to a walk as I emerged from the trees onto the banks of the river. The orange light of the setting sun reflected beautifully off the water. There was something so peaceful and simple about the river. I was used to the ocean, which was constantly beating and crashing with a semi-regular pulse. But the river was smooth, the current a constant and gentle flow. You wouldn’t realize it was moving at all if it wasn’t for the occasional leaf bobbing along or the light ripples around the boulder halfway across.

I watched the water while my breath returned. Something caught my eye. About a hundred yards down on the far side of the river stood a figure. It looked like it could be a person, but it was hard to tell in the lengthening shadows of the trees. It had… a tail? I pulled my ratty old Pokédex from my pocket and moved closer. It didn’t flinch at all. Maybe it didn’t see me? As soon as I was within range I pointed the device at the creature.

“SCANNING…”

There was something odd about it. It wasn’t like any Pokémon I had ever seen. It was clearly bipedal, but way too tall to be a human and way too sleek to be any of the humanoid Pokémon I knew of. Suddenly, my Pokédex made an odd error sound that I had never heard before.

“PERSONAL ENTRY: PROJECT TITAN. PLEASE ENTER PASSWORD:”

Project Titan? Password? What the hell was this? On a whim, I typed in ‘12345’ but it kicked me back to the home screen. Frustrated, I tried scanning again.

“NO SUBJECT IN RANGE”

“What?” I looked up, but the creature was nowhere to be seen. I scoured the tree line at the far shore, but there was nothing. With a disappointed sigh, I turned around.

And everything went dark.

The next thing I knew I was face down in the sand. With a groan, I pushed myself back to my feet. A faint headache made my ears ring. After wiping the sand off my face, I looked around. The sun had almost completely set. I shivered in the cool evening air.

“What just happened?” I recalled vague warnings of the hypnosis abilities of powerful psychic-types. Had I just been attacked by a Kadabra or something? Fuck, this was weird. I needed to get back to town as soon as possible.

Laying on the ground for a while wasn’t good for your body temperature apparently, because I was getting quite cold. I found my Pokédex in the sand next to me and began jogging back up the trail towards Cerulean. My head was still spinning when I hit the main road.

In the darkness ahead I saw a person. They had a backpack on and were walking at a slows, methodical pace. Probably a trainer. Still uneasy, I slowed down. He must have heard my footsteps though, because he looked over his shoulder at me. I recognized him.

“Tim? Hey!” I ran up to my friend. A burst of excitement drove all my distress away.

“Keith? What the hell are you doing out here?”

“I’m on a run. What the hell are you doing out here? What took you so long, man?”

“I got held up in Mt Moon,” he responded, scratching his head.

“You got lost?!?” I laughed.

“No! I just… well… yeah.” He laughed too.

Tim Skeevich had been my best friend for as long as I could remember. We had spent the last sixteen years of our lives dreaming of the day that we would finally be allowed to leave home. Tim was short by my standards, so probably about average height for the usual person. He had shaggy tawny hair that he often had to shake out of his eyes. Tim wasn’t exactly the smartest kid around, but he kept me laughing while I kept him out of trouble.

“So how’d you do against Brock?” I asked him as we began heading into town.

“I beat him first try, but only after quite a bit of training. I didn’t have the type advantage you did, but I caught a couple of strong Pokémon to help.”

“Nice. What do you got now?”

“I think Charmander’s close to evolving, and I’ve got a great Beedrill, a Raticate, and I just caught a Zubat.”

“Well I can tell you one thing,” I said, “my journey so far has been a lot more exciting than yours.”

Tim laughed. “You messed up that many times?”

“Not exactly,” I responded. “There was just quite a bit of… unexpected stuff. If you know what I mean.”

We spent the rest of the way back to the Pokémon Center swapping stories. Apparently, his experience on Mt. Moon had been like my experience in Viridian Forest. He had spent all day wandering the trails. I told him all about Criss and Team Rocket, trying to downplay the violence and the danger. I wasn’t sure how he’d react.

“Wow.”

“Yeah,” I said sheepishly.

“That’s… impressive.”

“I guess.”

“You went to the police though, right?”

“Criss did. Apparently she has some kind of arrangement with them. They’ve increased ranger patrols in the area since,” I said.

“Huh. So this Criss girl…”

“She’s kinda scary, but she has good intentions.”

“Is she hot?”

There’s the Tim I know and love. “Uh… sort of? I don’t know, I was a little preoccupied.”

“You gotta sort out your priorities, man.”

We both laughed.

*****

The next morning after breakfast, we decided to head out of the city to do some training and maybe catch a new Pokémon. I’d heard there were colonies of Abra in the rocky plains across Nugget Bridge.

“I saw you on TV, you know,” Tim said as we clonked down the bridge, “the morning before I left Pewter.”

“You saw it? Awesome!”

“Yeah, that was a great battle. I don’t know how I’m going to beat Misty though. I don’t have anything effective against water types.”

“Why don’t you catch a Bellsprout or an Oddish?” I suggested, “There are tons over here.”

“That’s a good idea,” he said.

On the far side of the bridge, the road headed off to the east. We went off the beaten path into the massive field of tall grass, boulders, and some scarce trees that stretched from the river to the mountain range up north. We poked around in the tall grass for a while before deciding to split up. We agreed on a time to meet back at the bridge and went our separate ways.

I crept along a game trail for about twenty minutes, trying my best to keep quiet and low. I clenched the Ultra Ball my brother had given me in one hand. With luck, I’d be able to catch an Abra before it could teleport away.

In the near distance, I saw something that looked promising. A large, somewhat hunched-over rock formation that would make for great cover against the wind and whatever wandering predators a Pokémon like Abra would fear. As I came close to it, I slipped my backpack off my shoulders and gently lowered it to the ground before moving forward, trying to stay as quiet as possible.

I crawled up behind a boulder about thirty feet away from the rock formation and slowly peered over it. Sure enough, six or seven Abra were sitting cross-legged, apparently sleeping, in a clear patch of dirt sheltered by the stone.

I slumped back behind the boulder and took a deep breath. I closed my eyes and tried to picture exactly where the Abra were sitting. I picked one that was a bit off to the side. I’d have one shot at this. I’d read in my Pokédex that they could reflexively teleport in their sleep. They wouldn’t go far, but I doubt I’d be able to sneak up on them a second time.

I clenched my teeth and slowly rose from behind the boulder. It was now or never.

Before they could notice me, I hurled the Ultra Ball at the Abra I had chosen.

I don’t know if it was the sound of my motion, or the ball whirling through the air, or some psychic thing, but suddenly there was a series of flashes and some popping noises. They were gone. My Ultra Ball landed uselessly in the dirt with a metallic ‘thud’.

I swore violently and went to retrieve it.

So much for that. I could go looking for the colony again, but I had doubts I’d find them. My time would probably be better spent training Tesla, or maybe trying to work on keeping Locustod under control.

I picked up my Ultra Ball and dusted it off. It was still usable. I turned around to go retrieve my backpack, then froze.

Sitting on top of the boulder I had been hiding behind was an Abra. It was facing away from me, probably still asleep. I don’t know if maybe it messed up its teleport or was maybe just confused, but I wasn’t going to question my good luck.

This Abra was mine.

I squared myself and threw the Ultra Ball again, careful to keep the motion as quiet as possible.

I hit my mark.

A flash, a click.

The ball clattered off the rock, the capture light blinking.

Then… the wonderful, wonderful click-hiss of the capture lock engaging.

I did a little dance.

“Keith Anders! Pro trainer!” I was now the proud owner of a psychic-type Pokémon. This guy was going to be an integral part of my team. I picked up the Ultra Ball and secured it to my belt.

“Psyke. You shall be Psyke.”

*****

I met up with Tim again at our prearranged time. He had successfully caught a Bellsprout. Excited at our prospects, we spent the rest of the day training. His Charmander even evolved into Charmeleon during a fight against Locustod. It wasn’t enough. I still managed to put Tim’s starter to sleep and secure the win.

Tim stayed out in the park battling various trainers for most of the evening. Eventually I got tired and headed back to the Pokémon Center to go to sleep.

I was in a brilliant mood as I got ready for bed. Tim was here, I had a new member on my team, I had two badges, and a bright future ahead.

When I fell asleep that feeling didn’t last.

My dreams were dark.

I was alone. Voices whispered to me. I had no idea what they were saying, but I know I had to listen.

Someone was in great pain. Was it me?

End the pain. Kill it. End this. You must.

*****

NEXT: The mysterious Flygon trainer gets a name, a personality, and a little background.

Also, I added a prologue to the OP. Check it out.
 
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Re: "Unpredictable" (PG-13)

Corrections in yellow, my notes in bold. Cool? -- Italics

Prologue:

Flames poured from the windows of the building on the screen. My mother gasped; I shouted upstairs for my brother. He rushed down, looking disheveled. Enter key here, mate.

“What’s going on?”


I never felt that I really had to worry about my father. His job was hardly dangerous, and he was such a kind and caring man. I couldn’t think of anyone that would ever mean him harm. The thought never occurred to me that whenever he left for a business trip, he might never come back.

“The blast occurred mere minutes ago,” said the news reporter. “A group of scientists were inside at the time. Fire fighters are battling to rescue them now.”

I had been to work with Dad before. All he did was scribble notes on a clipboard while looking through a microscope at some little things swimming in a Petri dish. On some occasions he would observe slightly bigger little things swimming around in a test tube. I’m sure all these little things, slightly bigger or otherwise, had names, but I didn’t care at the time. My dad was a biologist, specializing in genetics, which I thought was a dreadfully boring occupation.

“The cause of the explosion is being connected to the infamous criminal ring, Team Rocket. Several members of the organization were seen running out of the building seconds after the original blast occurred. They seem to have escaped off of the island, but are being closely pursued by police officers.” GOOD GOING, REPORTER LADY, TELLING ANY LISTENING ROCKET MEMBERS WHAT THE POLICE ARE DOING. But I digress. Sorry.

For these reasons I thought nothing of it when he came into my room one evening and told me about an old abandoned mansion on Cinnabar Island. Enter key.

“It’s actually an old laboratory,” he told me. “So myself and several other scientists have been invited to go take a look around. Maybe we’ll be able to find some research papers or something. The scientist who worked there was very successful.” Enter key.

“Cool,” my unexcited fourteen-year-old self responded.How long will you be gone?” Enter key.

“A couple days, so be sure to help your mother around the house. I’ll be gone in the morning, so I’ll see you when I get back.” Enter key.

“Mmk… bye.” Enter.

“Bye, Keith.” He patted me on the shoulder and left my room. Forever.

My mother cried. My brother stared ahead, emotionless. We were crowded around the TV. On the screen was a stretcher. On that stretcher was my father. Bleeding. Burnt. My brother turned away. My mother sobbed. I just stared in disbelief.

Chapter One:

I was tired, scratched up, and generally beat to pieces when I finally emerged from Viridian “Hellhole” Forest. But I was alive. I marched into Pewter City triumphantly, with my newly claimed Butterfree by my side.

“Well, that was certainly an ordeal.” Enter.

“Fwree.

The sun crept over the mountains and began to shine on the city. I recalled Butterfree, nicknamed Locustod, back into its Poke Ball.

I had planned and prepared to hike through Viridian Forest that day. I had not planned or prepared to get lost. Six miles had quickly turned to fourteen and I was beat, literally. Two days ago I turned sixteen. Two days ago I got my Pokémon license and my Squirtle, Rainer. Two days ago, I knew what I was doing. Now, not so much. This journeying stuff was tough. Only three nights ago I had lain with my best friend Tim on the roof of his house, looking up at the stars.

I closed my eyes tiredly, remembering. Enter.

Tim had turned to me. “If you could have any Pokémon, any one at all, what would it be?” Enter.

I looked at him and raised an eyebrow.Enter.

“Real Pokémon, no legendaries.” Enter.

Wait, whoa, who said what and wha? This part doesn't make sense.

“That’s what I thought.” Enter.

I had said, “Moltres would be pretty sick, but otherwise… a Dragonite. Definitely a Dragonite. What about you?” Enter. And oh, if that was what you meant before, why not put it there in the first place?

“Dragonite? Well, they’re so rare they might as well be legendary,he'd said, laughing. “I’d like a Gyarados -- those things are just plain badass.” Enter.

“I’ll be sure to send one home to you for your birthday,” I'd teased. Enter.

“Oh, shut up, I doubt you’ll even be out of Viridian Forest in two weeks,he had said, punching me in the shoulder.
I had just laughed and looked back up at the stars.

If it weren’t for Locustod, though, he just may have been right. On the other hand, if it weren’t for that damned Butterfree I probably would have been out of that place hours before.

It was still rather early in the morning, so no one was out yet and the Pokémon Center was still locked for the night. I wandered around the city, drowsy-eyed, waiting for the town to wake up. I decided to wander my way over to the path towards the mountain. I hadn’t even beaten Brock yet, but there was no harm in looking ahead.

The sun was low, Don't need Mister Comma there. and reflected off the gray clouds, casting a foreboding light on the city and surrounding mountains. At a dip between two plateaus, the paved road became gravel and it Don't need Cousin It either, cap'n. looked like the gravel road became a dirt path about a quarter mile down. I sighed and leaned against a sign post that proclaimed, “MT. MOON – LICENSED TRAINERS ONLY." It had been a long time since my mom had taken me here to visit the museum. The mountain was bigger than I remembered. Rest would definitely be necessary before I tackled it.

It was only then that I noticed a bench on the far side of the road with a girl laying on it. She had a knee up and her arms folded; I would have thought that she was sleeping if I had not seen her looking at me with a single open eye. Upon noticing my gaze, she snapped it shut again.

“Hmm….” I was a little creeped out, so I didn’t say anything; instead I looked back down the road, where I saw a young man, probably in his twenties, walking quickly. He was wearing a long dark overcoat and a brimmed hat. He looked suspiciously at me as he passed, but I just smiled and nodded hello. I guess he hadn’t noticed the girl, who stood up and walked quickly to catch up with him. She stepped in behind him and grabbed him by his collar, spinning him around. Apparently she was pretty strong, as the man could not wrestle free.

“And just where do you think you’re going?” she asked him angrily. Enter.

“Hey!” I cried.What are you doing?” I took a step towards the pair. With lightning fast reflexes, the girl pulled a five inch sheathe knife from her belt and threw it at me with her free hand. It missed me by a matter of inches, instead sticking into the sign post with a loud “thunk!” where it quivered ominously. He's a nosy little trainer, ain't he? And he can tell how long a knife is from far away? And Enter key, cap'n.

I stopped in my tracks, looking back and forth between the knife and the girl.

“I’ll deal with you in a minute,she said, No need for that comma. before turning back to her victim. Enter.

All I could do was nod and slowly back up to the sign post. Enter.

“I asked you a question. Where are you going?” the girl repeated. Enter.

“Into town. Who are you? I haven’t done anything wrong,he protested wildly. Enter.

“Who says you did?” She reached into his coat with one hand and pulled something out of his pocket. “Oh wait, this does.” Enter.

I stared in amazement. It appeared to be a normal trainer ID card, but when she turned it so that it caught the light, I saw a large red R emblazoned on it. “Team Rocket, huh? Well, there’s something wrong.”

Memories flashed through my mind. My father…. Team Rocket…. Cinnabar Island….

By the time I had snapped out of the flashback, the man had disappeared and the girl stood looking at me with her arms crossed and a cynical look on her face. “What’s your problem?” she asked.

I stared at her blearily. “Huh?” Enter.

“Well, first of all, you show up at six in the morning to a mountain trail with bloodshot eyes and torn up clothes, obviously unprepared to go hiking. And then you completely phase out at the first sight of a Team Rocket agent. Kind of a weird reaction in my experience.” Not really. He's obviously a rookie, Viridian "Hellhole" Forest is behind him, and Team Rocket is pretty evil, so I've heard. Anyone would have bad memories of them, wouldn't they? And Enter key, cap'n.

“I got lost in the Forest, just got out. And my father was killed by Team Rocket a few years ago; kind of traumatic for me, if you know what I mean.” For some reason, I wasn’t as afraid of this girl as I probably should have been. Enter.

Her face lightened slightly. “I do.” Enter.

I stared at her skeptically. Enter.

“My brother was killed by Team Rocket, too, that’s why I’m hunting them down.” Why would he trust her? SHE THREW A KNIFE AT HIM. And Enter key, lovey.

Suddenly I felt much warmer towards her. “What did you do with that guy?” Enter.

“I took the Moon Stones he was smuggling and kicked him back to his superiors.”

In the distance, the city clock chimed seven. Any numbers you have, type 'em out. Looks professional. She turned and began walking back into town. I jogged to catch up with her. Enter.

“So did you wait all night for that guy to come?” I asked. Enter.

“Yes.”

It was only then that I noticed the Flareon walking beside her, which was surprising as usually Flareons are incredibly bright and nigh impossible to miss. But this one was dim, probably from spending a night out of its ball awake.

“Shouldn’t you recall your Flareon?” Enter.

She glanced down at her Pokémon. “She won’t go in. She’s just too protective of me for that.”

We rounded a corner and the domed roof of the Pokémon Center came into view. I wondered what would make a Pokémon so loyal that it refused to let the trainer leave its sight. I realized that I didn’t even know this girl’s name, so I asked her. Enter.

“Just because we have something in common doesn’t mean I’m going to answer all of your questions.” She pushed open the door of the center and paused, looking me up and down. Finally she said, “Oh, all right, join me for breakfast; we can talk all you want.”

I started by telling her my name and story.


I had been sitting under a tree in the forest, perusing my map and watching my two new Pokémon play. I was hopelessly lost, but not worried. I had gotten up early that morning so that I would have extra time to make my way through. The forest did have a trail from Viridian City to Pewter City, but it was identical to the trails to the Viridian Tributary, the Forest Lake, and all of the trails that wild Pokémon had made. Needless to say, it was all a little confusing.

Suddenly, Rainer and Baron (my Pidgey) started making quite a ruckus and I heard a sound I had never heard before. Almost like singing, but obviously a Pokémon.

“Wree-ee, fwr-eee.Enter.

I lowered the map to see what was going on. A giant purple butterfly, looking the other way, was flying over my Pidgey and Squirtle. They were asleep.

“Hey!” I yelled, scrambling to my feet and whipping out my Pokedex. The butterfly turned around and began to float towards me.

“Butterfree. In battle, it flaps its wings at high speed, releasing highly toxic dust into the air.” Enter.

“Uh-oh.” I looked up, but it was too late. Small scales were falling from the Butterfree’s wings. Enter.

“Wee-ee, fwre-eee.

First my nose and throat began to itch, then I couldn’t see well and my eyelids began getting heavy. My muscles became loose and the Pokedex dropped from my hand. Within seconds I had slumped over, fast asleep.


When I awoke, it was dark. I pushed myself to my feet groggily and recalled what had happened. I picked up my still open Pokedex and put it in my pocket. I looked around for my Pokémon. Baron was still sleeping, but Rainer had begun to stir. I put them both back into their Poke Balls. Shoving the map back into my pack and putting it on, I realized how far I still had to go, and in the dark, too. I called out my Pidgey and shook it awake.

“Baron, listen to me, I need you to fly with me for a while. If you see another Butterfree, attack it. If it tries to use Sleep Powder or Stun Spore, then use your gust to blow away the powder. I want to catch it.”

Butterfree were supposed to be rare in the Viridian Forest, as they usually migrated away immediately after evolving. This would be an opportunity too rare to miss out on.

The small bird nodded solemnly and flew out of my arms. We walked for a ways looking into the dark forest. It didn’t occur to me to check my watch until we had gone a couple miles. Enter.

Four-fifty-seven in the morning. Crap, how long were we out?” Enter.

Baron cooed softly in reply. I rubbed my eyes: the powder was still having some effect -- I could feel it. My senses felt numbed, No comma, lovie. and I was disoriented.

All of a sudden I saw movement. Large white wings were beating softly just off of the trail about thirty feet ahead. “There!” I called. Somehow I knew it was the same Butterfree. It had to be.

“Pidge?”

I ran off, but it flew into the brush. I didn’t give up. Ignoring the possibility of stepping on a sleeping Weedle and catching a poison sting, I haphazardly crashed through the brush. Baron was going wild, screeching and flapping after me. Branches and thorns whipped my face and clawed at my arms and legs. I could see the white wings of the Butterfree beating along ahead of me, but I was losing ground. I chased it for a good ten minutes.

Paragraph here, I suggest.

I knew I was lost, even more so than before, but I didn’t care: I wanted that Butterfree. I saw a meadow ahead; the Butterfree was going straight towards it. As soon as I reached the edge of the forest, I tripped and began falling down a slight incline. I tucked into a roll, but the fall tore the Poke Balls off of my belt. Rainer popped out and tumbled along, bleary-eyed. We stopped at the bottom of a short hill. I was soaked with dew.

We were in a large meadow in the middle of the forest; the Butterfree was floating a short distance ahead. I gathered up my Poke Balls and was about to set Rainer on it when I was hit with a blinding light. Sunrise -- damn, I had been out a long time. Enter.

I blinked a few times until my eyes adjusted. Butterfree was still staring at the sunrise with its back to me. I pointed to it and looked at Rainer. A blast of water hit the bug in the back, quickly followed by my Poke Ball.

The ball rocked a couple times before the light on the button finally went out. I walked over to my new Pokémon and let it out right away. It floated in front of me, fear in its eyes. Enter.

I looked at it for a second. “And what will your name be…” I pondered. It just stared at me unblinkingly. Of course, bugs didn’t blink. That was creepy. “Locustod. Perfect. Don't need this quotation mark if you're gonna continue with the dialogue.

“Now,” I continued, “I need one thing.” Enter.

The butterfly cocked its head and looked at me. Enter.

“Get me out of this place.”


“That’s pretty much all I have to tell,” I told the girl.

”My name’s Criss,” she said. “I can show you the way to the Gym if you want. It’s on the way to the museum, where I’m going to drop off these Moon Stones. You should get some sleep first, you look tired.”

Criss looked to be about eighteen, two years older than me. She was tall for a girl, almost my height, with long dark hair and piercing blue eyes. She was very pretty, now that I'd thought about it, but her overall demeanor was rather intimidating.

I looked around the Pokémon Center. It was much larger than the one in Viridian City. Its shiny silver machines and healing devices reminded me of Professor Oak’s lab back home in Pallet Town.

Professor Oak was friends with everybody in Pallet Town, but he had grown really close to me and my mother. He had been best friends with my father, and when Dad was killed by Team Rocket, Professor Oak had taken us under his wing. My mom worked as his secretary, but we lived off of his own paycheck. My brother had gone off to work for Silph Co. in the Orange Islands so as not to be a burden. We hadn’t seen each other in a while, but we communicated through mail and telephone. He often hooked me up with all sorts of cool new technology. In fact, in the bottom of my pack was the Ultra Ball he had sent me as a gift for my birthday. With it was a note that said: “These will be common in areas with stronger Pokémon, but it will be a sure catch for you early in your adventure. Use it wisely!”

“Yeah, that’d be great,” I agreed finally, “What about you? You look tired yourself.” Enter.

“I always look tired. Just go get some rest; I’m going to challenge some of these trainers to battle.”

I nodded and slouched off towards the bunkroom. I had given my Pokémon to the nurse when we had first walked in; they probably weren’t ready yet. Enter.

Before I finally fell asleep, I just stared at the ceiling for a few minutes, thinking about what had happened so far. Criss seemed like a decent enough person, if a little steely and stern. Anyone who fought Team Rocket can’t be that bad.


A little before noon I was shaken awake by a frantic looking nurse. “Excuse me sir,” she said exasperatedly, “are you the trainer of the Butterfree that was brought in this morning?”

I blinked my eyes a couple times and shook my head a couple times to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. One of these "a couple of times" has got to go. “Uhh… yeah,” I said groggily.What’s wrong?”

“Your Butterfree is attempting to attack my Chansey, and just throws Stun Spore everywhere whenever I try to get close to it. Can you please do something?”

I slowly sat up and put my feet on the floor, swearing under my breath, and rubbed my eyes. I hated it when people woke me up, but this nurse seemed at her wit's end -- and besides, she was cute. I think that's a good reason. And Enter key, cap'n, sir.

I pulled on my shoes and followed the nurse to the medical rooms. She handed me a surgical mask to keep out the Stun Spore, but I declined. Enter.

“It acts like a prick, but you’ve just got to show it who’s boss,I said.

I shoved open the door that the nurse had indicated and was No "was" right here. stepped inside. The room smelled like the powder that had knocked me out the day before, but it wasn’t too strong. Locustod was chasing an incredibly agitated Chansey around the room, chittering wildly.

“HEY!” I yelled at it. Enter.

It stopped instantly and stared at me, frightened. Enter.

Chansey ran past me, out the door, wailing insanely. Enter.

“WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING?!?” Enter.

The bug type landed at my feet and bowed its head. I recalled it back into its Poke Ball. “Damn Butterfree,” I muttered under my breath.

I turned to leave, but the door was blocked by the nurse, who looked rather indignant. “Is that how you handle all of your Pokémon?” she said acrimoniously.

“No,” I sighed. “Just the ones that are a complete PAIN IN THE ASS!” I directed the last four words at the Poke Ball still in my hand. I pushed past her and walked back into the main room of the center, where I picked up my other two Pokémon from the nurse that was there.

Still steaming about Locustod, I walked out the back door, which lead to a small grass field used for Pokémon battles. Criss stood at one end with her Flareon by her side. In front of her was an Ekans. She was battling a boy who was using a Zubat. She must have been putting on quite a show, for a fair amount of people had gathered to watch.

I sat down on a bench to watch. Enter.

“Ekans, Tackle!” Criss called. The purple snake jumped at the Zubat.

“Zubat, fly out of reach!” the boy said. The Zubat flew about ten feet up and Ekans missed its target.

Criss didn’t say anything but instead made a hand gesture to her Pokémon. The snake reared its head and opened its mouth. A bunch of glowing poisonous needles began to fly out at the Zubat, who dodged them. Enter.

“Keep it up Ekans!” cried Criss.

I tore my eyes away from the battle and opened my Pokedex. “Let’s see what the annoying little bug’s good for…” I muttered, and looked up a Butterfree’s available move set. I obviously harbored a strong dislike for the Pokémon, but I would need two Pokémon for my first Gym battle. Since Baron would be a definite no go against Brock’s Rock-types, Locustod was my only choice. What about his Squirtle? And Enter.

The device read the list out loud, amid the sounds of the battle in front of me. “Tackle, String Shot, Stun Spore, Poison Powder, Sleep Powder, and Confusion.”

“Confusion? But that’s a Psychic move. Huh. That’ll be very useful.”

In front of me, Criss’ Ekans had finally managed to hit the Zubat; it had begun to fall. Criss gave it another hand signal order. The snake wrapped the Zubat, crumpling its wings. Enter.

“Zubat! Bite it!” the other trainer cried. The bat bit the snake as hard as it could. Criss’ Ekans hissed in pain. But then it began to glow. The crowd gasped collectively and Criss smiled in a smug manner. The Ekans began to grow longer and develop a hood. I was witnessing my first Pokémon evolution. The newly evolved Arbok was much larger than the Ekans had been.

“Arbok, finish it with wrap,” Criss said coolly. The snake squeezed Zubat until it cried out. Then it was released. It fell to the ground, looking broken.

“Zubat, return,the other trainer recalled his Pokémon before walking over to Criss. They looked to be about the same age. “You’re a very good trainer. I’m gonna have to train a lot more if I’m gonna beat Brock. Take this, I found it in Mt. Moon on my way over.” He handed Criss a small, round, orange-ish stone. “It’s amber, fossilized tree sap.”

“I know what amber is, thank you.” She took the rock from him and put it in her pocket. “Arbok, return!”

I waved her over and we left the center, Flareon striding along behind us. “That was a good battle” I said. Enter.

”I try to train every day in order to keep my strength up.” She pointed at a large building ahead. “That’s Brock’s gym. Are you ready?” Enter.

“Of course. Aren’t you going to the museum?” Enter.

“I decided to stay and watch you battle Brock. I beat him already you know.” Enter.

“Really?” Enter.

“Yep. I’ve also beaten Erika and Koga.” She added, “But Brock was the one that convinced me to catch an Onix.” Enter.

“Oh yeah, he prefers Rock-type Pokémon doesn’t he?”

“And Ground. He has a Geodude and an Onix. Between your Squirtle and your Butterfree, you shouldn’t have a problem.” Enter.

We entered the gym and I looked around. It was very dark, but a few lights lit up the bare rock walls and dirt floor. We were greeted by a Pokémon League referee and a tall man with spiky black hair who introduced himself as the Gym Leader, Brock. Enter.

“Good to see you again, Criss. How’s life on the road been treating you?” Who's saying this?

“As wonderful as ever,” Criss replied sarcastically. Enter.

All right, Keith, right? Let’s do this.” WHO'S SAYING THIS? Also, "all right" is two words. And Enter.

We stood at opposite ends of a dirt field that was about twice as big as a basketball court. The referee stood off on one of the longer sides at the mid-line. Enter.

“Choose your first Pokémon!” he called out.

“I choose Geodude!” shouted Brock. He threw his Poke Ball and out came what looked like a floating rock with eyes and arms. Enter.

“Go, Locustod!” I threw my own Poke Ball out.

“Fwree-ee-ee!

“Let the match begin!” called the referee, and he blew his whistle.

“Geodude, use Rock Throw!” Enter.

“Locustod, block it with String Shot!” Enter.

Geodude’s rocks slowed down and fell when they were wrapped up in the Butterfree’s string. Enter.

“Keep shooting, hold him still!” Enter.

Locustod kept shooting string, but Geodude vaulted out of the way. Before Brock could give another order, I called out, “Locustod, Confusion!” Enter.

Locustod was doing well; it clearly wanted to make up for pissing me off back at the center.

“Fwree-ee.” My Butterfree’s eyes began to glow red, as did Geodude’s body. Its eyes widened; it was obviously straining. Then it collapsed to the floor. Enter.

“Geodude is unable to battle! Brock, choose your next Pokémon!” cried out the referee. Enter.

“Nice one, Keith,” said Criss from behind me.

“Geodude, good job, return! Go, Onix!” Out of his Poke Ball came a giant snake-like figure made out of boulders, its huge, ferocious eyes glaring down at me. Enter.

“Onix, use Bide!” Enter.

Nothing happened. I looked at Brock and then Criss. Her face was expressionless. Enter.

“Locustod, use Confusion again!” Enter.

The Pokémon’s eyes glowed again, but nothing happened to Onix. Enter.

“Okay, maybe he’s too big. Sleep Powder!” Enter.

The Butterfree flew up to Onix’s head and began flapping down a blue-ish white powder. It didn’t work. Enter.

“Oh yeah, that won’t work on Rock-types. Just use Tackle!” Enter.

The butterfly began to bounce off of Onix here and there. Again, it hardly reacted. I turned around to face Criss. Enter.

“Is this some kind of joke? What’s he doing?” Enter.

“I thought you knew his signature move is Bide. You’re in trouble now,she said calmly. I turned back around to see that the Onix’s eyes had begun to glow -- then his whole body glowed, too. Enter.

“Locustod, watch out!” Enter.

But it was too late. Onix hurled itself at the butterfly and smashed it into the wall. I ran over to catch it. It was out cold.

“Butterfree is unable to battle! Keith, choose your next Pokémon!” called the referee. Enter.

“Locustod, return! Come on, Rainer!” Enter.

The tiny turtle popped out of the Poke Ball and looked up at Onix defiantly. Enter.

“Bubble!” Enter.

The stream of bubbles caused Onix to rear its head and roar, but didn’t seem to be doing much damage. Enter.

“Onix, Bide again!” Enter.

“Okay, we’ll need something with a little more power. Water Gun!” Enter.

Water began to spray out of the turtle’s mouth. Enter.

“Finish him before he unleashes the power!” Enter.

The jet of water caught Onix across the face and it roared, slumped, and then fell.

“Onix is unable to battle. Brock is out of useable Pokémon. Keith is the winner!” Enter.

“Yes!” Enter.

Rainer ran towards me and jumped into my arms. Enter.

“Onix, return!" Enter.

Brock strode over to me. “That was a good battle, very fun." He handed me a silver badge that looked like a jewel. “This is the Boulder Badge, an official Pokémon League badge. You get seven more of these and you can challenge the Elite Four.” Enter.

“Wow, awesome,” I said. I took the badge from him and pinned it to a piece of fabric that hung from my belt that No need for "that." Oh, hey, pun. I had taken along for just this purpose.

I thanked him, No need for that comma. and left with Criss. She looked at me.

“You’ve got a lot to learn, but congratulations, anyway,” she said. DO. NOT. USE. "ANYWAYS." THAT IS NOT A WORD. And Enter, cap'n.

“Thanks. We going over to the Museum now?” Enter.

“Yeah, I need to hand in these Moon Stones.” Out of her pocket she took a bag that was tied shut. She untied it and showed me what was inside. It was a bunch of silver, magical-looking rocks. “They’re used to evolve certain species of Pokémon.” Enter.

“I have a question,” I said. “Why not just follow Team Rocket to wherever their buyer is and nab him instead? Wouldn’t that be easier?” Enter.

She smiled grimly. “Well, I would but, you see, the buyer is me. I set up a Stone collecting operation in order to bait the Rockets. It’s perfectly legal to pick Moon Stones up off the ground, but the mountain itself is a protected area. Mining is strictly off-limits. When I climbed over from Cerulean earlier this week I noticed a cargo helicopter flying away. I did some poking around and found the entrance to the mine. So I planted a rumor that someone in the city was willing to buy Moon Stones at a very high price. Of course, greedy as those bastards are, one of them decided to make a little profit on the side, just as I had hoped. Since I don’t have a need for so many stones, I’m going to give them to the museum to put on display or sell for themselves. Of course,” she added, “I always take a finder’s fee.” She reached into the pouch and withdrew a couple stones, which she put in her pocket.

We dropped the bag in the donations bin outside the door of the museum and began walking back towards the Pokémon Center, for it was beginning to get dark. Enter.

“Tomorrow, I’m gonna go into the mountain and bust up the whole operation,” she said. Enter.

“Can I come?” I interrupted. I hadn’t realized it until right then, but a chance of revenge was what I had been secretly hoping for.

She gave me another one of her calculating looks, like she was sizing me up. “You’re heading that way anyway, aren’t you?” Enter.

I had no idea what crime-fighting would entail, but I was enthusiastic nevertheless. Enter.

“I am, and I’d like nothing more than to kick some Team Rocket ass.”

She stared at my eyes. Not into them, but past them. She had amazingly blue eyes. The color that you could just stare into and get lost in. They seemed to offset her otherwise light complexion. “I suppose it’s different…” she muttered. Enter.

I pretended I didn’t hear, instead waiting expectantly. Enter.

All right, you can come along.”


This has a lot of potential. Look up "speech tags" on Google. Use the Enter key more often. Eat your vegetables. I'll review the rest of the story later. I'll focus on characterization and plot after chapter two, all right?

Sorry I'm not as "asky-asky" as I usually am, but I haven't slept in forever and I need some rest. A lot. Have any questions? Just, like, VM or PM me, or something. After I've slept, of course.

Also, you can choose whether or not to use my corrections. I think you should, but since I'm biased, you don't have to. But I suggest you do.

And do brussel sprouts count as vegetables?
 
Re: "Unpredictable" (PG-13)

Wow. Thank you so much. My enter key gets more use in later chapters, I've just been too busy to come back and fix the earlier stuff. I'm not going to go into each and every correction you made but I will say that I am going to use most of them, but not all. I've decided, for example, not to capitalize the names of attacks. Also, I realize that "anyways" isn't a word, but people use it anyway (see what I did there?), so I went ahead and used it in dialogue. At least it's not as bad as saying "could of" or "should of" (my own English teacher has been guilty of that :dumb:).

Take your time, I'm surprised that you made as comprehensive of a review as you did in such little time. I'll get to work making changes, thanks for the help!

I'm pretty sure brussel sprouts are vegetables... aren't they a kind of cabbage ?
 
Re: "Unpredictable" (PG-13)

The chapter was good and I like how the gym was used as a place where people train regularly rather than just a place to battle gym leaders. could have done with a bit more description in some places but that's just being nit-picky so all in all good chapter. Also I should have my new Gym leader tale up by the end of the week so look out for that and I'l PM you when its up
 
Re: "Unpredictable" (PG-13)

Very good, very good :party:

Character developement is not the greatest. You have gone for the "If I do it slowly, people will want to read more" approach. This is fine for some, but not so fine for others. While it makes the characters seem mysterious, it can get dull and frustrating if you don't know someone's name 15 chapters after they were introduced. I'm not saying you do this, but be careful you don't start doing it.

Apart from the innuendos, Keith is not really portrayed as a 16 y/o. To me, he feels like a general Ash character but without the blaring obliviousness to certain things.
Eg. A smart and responsible 16 y/o does not normally run over to an eerie cave after someone just told them it was dangerous. But then again, Keith doesn't sound smart or responsible.
I like how you tackled some of the cliches for pokemon. Some things didn't completely tie in with others.
Eg. If he went to college, why didn't he know simple attacks or that Abra only knows Teleport.
Apart from that, you have dealt with it appropriately.

I'm not 100% sure what you're basing this on. Anime or games, its a little unclear but I think it's anime.

Spelling / Grammar is to be expected. Simple mistakes caused by honest unknowing or accidrntal typing. If you are really bothered you could get a Beta reader or type it into MS Word, spellcheck it, then copy/paste it into your fic.


Also, I'm going to have to take points off for harming a Flygon. Joke, but seriously, he better not die.

Overall score:

6/10
Don't worry, that's a good score.



Finally, Brussels Sprouts are a vegetable.
 
Re: "Unpredictable" (PG-13)

While it makes the characters seem mysterious, it can get dull and frustrating if you don't know someone's name 15 chapters after they were introduced. I'm not saying you do this, but be careful you don't start doing it.

The next chapter will fix this. Looking back, I'm not sure why I needed the mystery, especially as his name is inconsequential.

Eg. A smart and responsible 16 y/o does not normally run over to an eerie cave after someone just told them it was dangerous. But then again, Keith doesn't sound smart or responsible.

Although I would never do something like that, I have friends who would. I'm toying with having his general stupidity at this point explained in later chapters but unfortunately my planned storyline is waaayy too long. That's what I get for reading Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings. For now, the only explanation I have is that Keith thinks he's a badass after Mt. Moon.

Eg. If he went to college, why didn't he know simple attacks or that Abra only knows Teleport.

He didn't go to college. I'm having difficulty finding a way to put this in the story, but I have worked out how the educational system works. They go to school just like we do, except they graduate "high school" at sixteen. While at school they learn the same things we do, math, history, etc. After you graduate, education having to do with Pokemon can be pursued. This story's world doesn't revolve around Pokemon, although they are important to everyday life. Perhaps I should find a way to work that in...

I'm not 100% sure what you're basing this on. Anime or games, its a little unclear but I think it's anime.

Neither, but it draws inspiration from both.

If you are really bothered you could get a Beta reader or type it into MS Word, spellcheck it, then copy/paste it into your fic.

That's what I've been doing. Never rely on spellcheck I guess. I am considering finding a beta reader.


I hope I'm not coming across as too defensive. I really do appreciate the review. It's given me some good things to think about for future chapters. Thank you so much! :-D
 
Re: "Unpredictable" (PG-13)

Finally had the chance to read this, and when i started, I couldn't stop!
Characters are great, the gym battle with Misty showed a side of Trainers which is not often shown, stopping the battle to avoid heavy injuries.
There are also a good contrast of themes, making a good, well-rounded story, especially the difference with the chapters with Kriss, which show the gritty realism, to the chapters at the gyms, showing the side of pokémon we all love.
I enjoy journey fics, and this is one of the better ones i read, I like your take on how trainers leave at 16, choosing whether to go to the League, but surely, they could start at any age over 16, simply not getting a normal job? It sounded like when you wrote it that you either started at 16, or didn't start at all, which couldn't be true.
Grammar is fine, i couldn't pick out any mistakes on my first read through, yet in times you are lacking description, especially of the landscape/area the characters are in.
Overall, a good fic, good plot, great potential.
Keep it up!
 
Re: "Unpredictable" (PG-13)

Cha know the drill. -- Italics.

Chapter Two:

On a cliff, high above the road to Mt. Moon, stood a figure, looking out at the sunrise. Next to him perched his loyal partner, a Flygon. The man stroked the dragon’s neck slowly, No need for comma. and noticed a pair of hikers on the road far below. Curious, he turned to his backpack, out of which he pulled a pair of binoculars. He looked through them at the people down below.

“Hmm… Interesting. She’s found a friend.” He smiled. “What do you say we let them take this one Flygon?” Enter.

“Flah….Enter.

“Okay then, I guess we get to take it easy today.”



After a hurried breakfast, we were on the trail by dawn. Baron hopped along beside us quietly, and of course Criss’ Flareon was out as well. We walked in silence for a little ways. I entertained myself by watching the surrounding scenery change. Being born by the sea, I was not much used to mountains, and Unneeded "and." so I was very interested by the increasingly rocky terrain. Enter.

My wandering gaze came around to rest on Criss. She wore a similar outfit to the day before, relatively tight fitting clothes, a sash around her torso that held her Poke Balls, and a folded blue bandanna with a white symbol on the front serving as a headband. Enter.

“You’ve got four Poke Balls; what other Pokémon do you have?” I asked. Enter.

“Flareon, obviously. And then you saw my Eka -- Arbok.She smiled to herself but continued: “I told you about my Onix, and I also have a Tentacruel.” Enter.

“So you carry around a Poke Ball for Flareon even though she refuses to use it?” Enter.

“Yes. Just in case.” Enter.

“I’m curious; how come Flareon’s so protective of you?” I asked innocently. Enter.

“She saved my life when I was young,” Criss said. She added quietly, almost as an afterthought to herself, “...and many times since then.” Enter.

I waited, but she didn’t say anything more. I decided to take another stab at friendly conversation: “Where’d you get that headband? I’ve never seen that symbol before.” Enter.

Her face hardened and she tore the bandanna from her head. She stuffed it into one of the side pockets on her pack but didn’t respond.

Okay then, I thought to myself, I guess her past is a little bit of a touchy subject. Enter.

We didn’t talk any more until the trail began to turn back and forth in huge switchbacks as we climbed the mountain. I was beginning to feel a little nervous about what we were going to do, so I asked if Criss had a plan. She paused a second before responding. Enter.

“No, I don’t, not really. All I know is that we need to get in there, find the person in charge, and either kill them or set them up to be arrested. I’ve been given private investigator status by the Pewter City and Cerulean City police departments, so I have some good contacts. Besides that, we’ll mostly wing it.” Enter.

I was shocked. “Kill them?!?!?TOO MANY PUNCTUATION MARKS. And Enter.

Criss stopped walking and stared into my eyes with that hard look on her face. “Yes, if necessary,she said coolly. “What did you think we would do?” Enter.

“I don’t know….Paralyze them with electric attacks, I guess. And then drag them back to the police.” Enter.

She raised an eyebrow skeptically. “Do you have any electric Pokémon?” Enter.

I shook my head. Enter.

“Neither do I. And I wouldn’t fancy dragging a couple Rocket grunts for four miles down a mountain.” Enter.

I sighed. “I guess not….Enter.

Criss’s face softened a little and we kept walking. Enter.

“Ideally, that’s exactly what we would do,” she continued, “but it’s just impractical.” Enter.

“I suppose…. How do we set them up to be arrested then?” I asked. Enter.

“Usually I just tie them up and go fetch the police,” Criss replied, matter-of-factly.

I was skeptical, but apparently she had done this before. She suddenly threw out an arm to stop me. Enter.

“That’s the spot.” Enter.

I looked at where she was pointing, and sure enough, buried in the underbrush was what looked like an old mine shaft in the side of the mountain. We made our way through the bushes until we were at the entrance. Baron landed on my head and stared into the darkness before cooing in a skeptical tone.

“They’ve probably strung some lights farther along. For now, Flareon will light the way.”

The flaming red, No comma needed here. cat-like Pokémon pranced ahead into the darkness, illuminating the cave with an eerie red glow. Criss followed. I recalled Baron went in too, albeit rather reluctantly. Enter.

We didn’t have far to walk. About two minutes in I was about to make a comment on the lack of guards when we rounded a corner and entered a huge, lit, circular chamber. We were about halfway up, ten feet or so. A wire with lights was strung around the whole circumference of the room at about our eye-level. Our ledge tapered off to the left and right and a ladder hung down in front of us. The cavern floor had three or four large boulders and a multitude of metal crates. Several tunnels led off in various directions. We were the only people in the room. Enter.

“Where…?” I started, but Criss put a finger to my lips and I stopped.

She leaned over and whispered into my ear, “Our voices will carry easily through the cavern; we need to be quiet.” Enter.

She silently descended the ladder, looked around, and beckoned to me. I stood next to her, staring at the crates. Enter.

“Where do you think the Rockets are?” I whispered.

She shrugged and gazed at each of the side tunnels. Enter.

Suddenly, we heard a rustle from one of the tunnels to my right, and Criss yanked me down into the shadows behind the nearest boulder. We crouched there, waiting.
And then, with an eerie screeching sound, a small blue and purple bat fluttered out of the tunnel and began to tear away at the light cord with its teeth. Enter.

“Zubat,” Criss muttered. They must not used to this kind of intrusive light.” Enter.

“HEY!!!ATTACK OF THE TRIPE EXCLAMATION POINT. And Enter, mate.

We both jumped, and Criss yanked me farther back into the shadows. A man in a dark uniform with a red R emblazoned on the front had run out of one of the tunnels, with a Raticate at his heels. He was yelling at the Zubat. The Raticate began to scratch at the walls and glare up at the Zubat, but it couldn’t reach it. The man picked up a rock and threw it at the bat. It dodged the projectile, screeched again, and flew away. Enter.

The man was cursing under his breath. He stalked back down the tunnel that he had come through. “Damn bats. If we have to stay here any longer, we had better get some Flying-types of our own.”

As his mutterings dwindled away down the tunnel, Criss began to stand, but I pulled her back down. Enter.

“Wait,” I hissed, “I thought I something moving over by those crates.”

Sure enough, a couple seconds later, a small pink head peeked up over one of the metal boxes. The Pokémon clambered on top of the box and stared down the tunnel that the Rocket had taken. Enter.

“Clef?” it said in a high-pitched voice.

I pulled out my Pokedex as Criss and I both stared. At the last second, I remembered to turn down the device’s volume. Enter.

“Clefairy, the fairy Pokémon. The moonlight that it stores in the wings on its back apparently gives it the ability to float in midair. Its adorable behavior and cry make it highly popular. However, this cute Pokémon is rarely found. It becomes easier to spot, for some reason, on the night of a full moon.”

The pink puffball looked around once more and then reached down to the lid of the crate. With a grunt, it pulled the lid off but toppled backwards. I craned my neck to see what was inside. It was a bunch of Moon Stones. The Clefairy got back up and grabbed as many Moon Stones as it could hold before dashing down one of the tunnels.

I looked over at Criss. She seemed to be suppressing laughter. This was strange; I had never seen her laugh before. I raised an eyebrow. Enter.

“Sorry,” she said breathlessly, “I don’t know why I find that so funny. Come on, let’s go.” Enter.

We cautiously made or way down the tunnel that the Rocket had went. Enter.

“You might want to let one of your Pokémon out,” Criss suggested. “Just keep it quiet.”

I released Baron from his Poke Ball again. He landed on my shoulder and cooed in my ear. I looked at him and put my fingers to my lips. It cocked its head sideways in a bemused fashion but didn’t make any more noise. It wasn’t until then that I realized that I hadn’t actually used him before in any major battle. I hoped that wouldn’t matter.

Another room was coming up on the right. We could see the light against the wall. Criss and I crept up to the corner and she peeked around. I could hear voices. She took a quick step to the other side of the doorway so that I could listen, too. Enter.

“So the boss is taking the rest back on this helicopter?” said a rough voice that I recognized as that of the Rocket we had seen earlier. Enter.

“No, he’s leaving the crates that are in the main chamber right now. We’ll carry those down by hand,” said another voice; the other men in the room groaned. “But the real money will be from these fossils that we found. If the technology of fossil revival is really possible, we’ve hit a gold mine.” Enter.

“Figuratively, of course. We’d never get that lucky,” said a skeptical voice that I actually recognized as the Rocket from the previous morning. Enter.

“Quit your complaining. Your paychecks will be considerable if you actually do your job. Now get back to patrolling the tunnels. An infiltration while the boss is still here would be a great reason for him to have us all killed,” commanded the first voice.

Two figures walked out of the room and right past me. I held my breath and tried to blend in with the shadows. I could feel Baron quivering on my shoulder. But it was so dark that they didn’t notice me. I glanced over towards Criss but she wasn’t there. I looked into the room and saw her standing menacingly, facing the third man. He hadn’t noticed her as he was bending over and shoving some boxes onto shelves on the back wall of the room. This cavern wasn’t nearly as big as the first, only about the size of my bedroom. It seemed to be more of a combined office-storage closet. No backslashes, please. The back wall was covered by bookshelves holding stones, books, and fossils. Maps carpeted one wall and the other had a multitude of hooks on which hung ropes, drills, and mining tools.

Flareon, who was at Criss’ side, growled audibly.

The man straightened up and began to turn around. “I thought I told you to….Huh?” But before he could alert the other Rockets, Criss jumped at him and punched him across the face. He was down and out in one hit. Criss turned around to see me standing in the doorway with my mouth gaping. How can an eighteen-year-old girl take out an adult man in one hit? I mean, go for some realism. I'd think it would at least take a metal boot to the groin.

Criss flexed her fingers and gazed at her hand. “Ouch, that hurt,she said calmly. Enter.

All I could say was, “Holy hell….Enter.

She smiled at me. “Sorry, I’m not very feminine am I?” I DON'T KNOW. I GUESS PUNCHING A GUY OUT IS NOT VERY FEMININE. I GUESS.

I continued to stare with open-mouthed astonishment while she tied up the man with a rope off of the wall and gagged him with his own hat.

She beckoned me over to the shelves. We looked down at the impressive collection of stones. Enter.

“Do you think that what he said about fossil resurrection is true?” I asked her. Enter.

“It is, I’ve seen it. The technology was developed in a lab on Cinnabar Island,she replied. “Devon Corp is working to perfect it and make it commercial.” She grabbed one of the fossils that had a swirling shell on it and pocketed it. Enter.

I grabbed a similar one that had a strange dome instead. “Psht, Devon. What do they know?” I scoffed. Enter.

“What’s wrong with Devon?” Enter.

“My brother works for Silph, so I have to dislike Devon on principle,” I explained. Devon Corp was the Hoenn region’s Silph Co. They both were leaders in Pokémon technology development and design. My brother always complained about problems that the competition with Devon made. Enter.

Criss just shook her head and smiled. Before we left the room, she looked down at the Rocket.

“This would be easier if we just cut his throat.” Enter.

The calmness with which she stated this astounded me. I tried to act casually. Enter.

“Nah, let’s just leave him,” I choked out. Enter.

“I guess,” Criss agreed, to my relief. A moral battle raged in my head as we left the room. So far, the “real world” was totally overwriting what I had learned growing up. I would never have chosen to go on a journey if I had known murder would be involved. The thought made me sick to my stomach.

“No more time for espionage,” Criss stated as we walked back down the tunnel. “Let’s go beat those other two in a battle and get out of here.” Why would she care about beating them in battle if she's so flippant about murder? And Enter, cap'n.

I just nodded silently. Baron cooed encouragingly in my ear. Enter.

We walked down the hallway back into the big chamber. Enter.

“Now where are those other --” started Criss, but her unfinished question was immediately answered.

“Hey! What the hell do you think you’re doing?” came a shout from one of the tunnels. I turned to see the Rocket with his Raticate and the other Rocket with an Ekans. Enter.

“Go! Flareon!” shouted Criss beside me. Her Pokémon dashed forward and tackled the Raticate.

I saw the other Rocket send his Ekans at me. Realizing the urgency of the situation, I shook off my emotional paralysis and responded with a gust from Baron. It did little to the huge purple snake, which just slid back about a foot. Enter.

“Sand Attack, Baron!” Enter.

The blast of sand hit the Ekans in its face and it shook its head, hissing and spitting. I could hear Criss and the other Rocket fighting about ten feet to my left.

“Hyper Fang!” Enter.

“Fire Spin!” Enter.

“Ekans, Poison Sting!” called the Rocket I was facing. Enter.

“Dodge it, Baron!” But I was too late. The poisonous barbs caught the bird full on. It let out a soft cry of surprise, and then fell. “Baron! No!” Enter.

“It’s over, kid; now get out of here before I stop feeling so merciful.” Enter.

But with a strained coo, my Pidgey pushed itself up onto its feet. Pinpricks of blood dotted its light chest. Enter.

“No, wait,” I said. “You’re not strong enough!” I began to get out its pokeball but was stopped when I noticed the glare it was giving me. Then it began to glow. Enter.

“Huh?” exclaimed the Rocket. His Ekans was looking at Baron quizzically.

Then I realized what was happening. Baron began to grow. Before, it had been the size of a large-ish bird. But it swelled to about the size of a dog. Hair-like feathers grew out of the back of its head and it straightened up. The glow faded; it was still glaring at me as if to say, “I have made myself strong enough.” Enter.

I realized that I had no idea what moves a Pidgeotto was capable of. But I didn’t have time to reach for my Pokedex. The Rocket had already reacted.

“Ekans, grab it with a Wrap!” Enter.

“Baron, dodge it!” Enter.

The bird flew into the air and let out a defiant cry at the snake. Enter.

“Use --” I paused. “I don’t know, just get it!” Enter.

The Rocket laughed at this, but stopped when my new Pidgeotto swooped down at his Ekans. The bird grabbed the snake around the middle and slammed it, hissing, into the wall. It fell and hit the ground with a thud. Baron circled and landed next to me. Enter.

“Pidgeote!”

“Nice one!” Space bar here. I exclaimed, recalling my Pokémon. I thought back to when I had met David along Route One. He was a few months older than Tim and I, but we were fairly good friends. His Bulbasaur finished the trio made by my Squirtle and Tim’s soon-to-be Charmander. It was David who had suggested I catch a Pidgey. Enter.

I looked over at Criss to see her locked in hand-to-hand combat with the other Rocket. Her Flareon was chasing the weakened-looking Raticate around the room, launching a constant Flamethrower attack.

I looked back in time to see my foe’s fist collide with my face. I fell over onto my hands and knees, my head buzzing. I saw stars and felt my nose begin to bleed. Enter.

“This isn’t over, you little prick!” sneered the Rocket, looming over me. How intimidating. And Enter.

Without hesitation, I picked up a rock in front of my face, leapt up, and slammed it into the side of his head. He wasn’t ready for the attack, and crumpled to the ground, unconscious at the least.

Wiping the blood away from my nose, I looked over to see Criss curb-stomping the other Rocket, who looked like he had been long since knocked out. Enter.

With one last kick, she turned to her Flareon. Enter.

“Let’s go, Flareon.” Enter.

Her Pokémon seemed to be giving much the same treatment to the Raticate, knocking it about the cavern. Then she Who? looked at me. Enter.

“We can get that fixed up in Cerulean,” she said, gesturing to my nose. “Sorry, I meant to tell you, these guys only use Pokémon at first.” Enter.

“Yeah,” I replied sarcastically, “thanks for the warning. At least they’re stupid.” Enter.

“I just realized, though,” began Criss, “I don’t think we’re done here.” Enter.

“What? You think there’s more?” I think so, dude. And Enter.

“Absolutely. The first Rocket said that the boss was still here, loading a helicopter or something.” Enter.

“The Rocket Boss? I don’t know….What does it matter if he gets away?” My adrenaline was pumping wildly and I was scared out of my mind. This wasn’t the heroic capture I had anticipated. But what, then, had I anticipated? Whatever my motivations for coming with Criss in the first place, I was ready to leave immediately.

“Exactly; it’s the Rocket Boss. Imagine if we could catch him. Let’s go.” Clearly Criss had no qualms. She rushed over to one of the side tunnels and flipped a switch on the wall. Lights turned on down the tunnel. She beckoned to me before dashing out of sight, her Flareon hot on her heels. I heaved a sigh before sprinting to catch up. I doubted I would be able to help much, but it would set my conscience at ease.

She had stopped to wait for me at a fork in the tunnel. It was clear which way to go. One of the paths diminished into some sort of natural, unlit crevice while the lights continued up a set of metal stairs that led to a door. As soon as I caught up to her, Criss leapt up the stairs.

She slowly pushed the door open and stepped outside into the sunlight. I followed, immediately ducking behind a boulder to avoid being seen by the men standing in front of us. Criss did the same.

Break the paragraph here, I think.

I peeked out from behind the rock. We looked to be in Mount Moon’s crater. Two men wearing Team Rocket uniforms were loading what was clearly the last few crates of Moon Stones aboard a large helicopter. Another man stood to the side, watching them with his hands clasped behind his back. The third man was tall, with thinning brown hair and a very imposing demeanor. He wore a slight, almost sadistic grin. This was clearly the famed Rocket Boss. No one knew seemed to know anything about this man beyond the fact that he existed. I was more than a little intimidated, but Criss only seemed to get angrier at the sight of this mysterious figure.

She reached to her belt, pulling out her sheathed knife. The look in her eyes could only be described as bloodlust. I had never seen anyone so angry, and I thought I hated the Rockets.

“Criss, wait --” I started.

But I was ignored. With an inhuman growl she leapt out into the open and dashed towards the tall man. I grabbed at Flareon to stop it from following her out, but it burned me and ran off after its master. She Who? held the knife in her hand, raised as if to stab it through the man’s chest. But with surprising reflexes, the Rocket boss grabbed her by the wrist and twisted it so she would drop the knife.

Paragraph break right here.

But Criss was made of stronger stuff than most people. She held onto the knife despite the man’s maneuver and swung her other arm around to punch him in the side. He let go of her wrist at the blow, but by that time, the other Rockets had started to react. One of them leapt into the helicopter and started up the rotors. The other dove at Criss, tackling her and pinning her to the ground. Flareon caught up to them and latched its jaws onto the Rocket’s leg in some sort of fire-infused bite.

I gave a yell and emerged from my hiding place. The Rocket Boss jumped at my appearance but strode towards the helicopter, ignoring both me and the tussle now taking place on the ground in front of him. The helicopter’s blades were now slicing through the air so fast that they looked like a blur; the sound was deafening. I dashed over to Criss and pulled the Rocket grunt off of her. We began a wrestling match of our own.

Paragraph break.

Now, I’m far from unfit, but I’m not a very big person in the first place. Despite the fire Pokémon still latched to his leg, the Rocket had a definite weight advantage. Within seconds I was pinned to the ground.

Underneath the Rocket’s arm I saw Criss stand on one knee and hurl the knife at the Rocket Boss, who now stood in the helicopter’s bay. The blade buried itself in the tall man’s arm. Criss smiled in satisfaction as the helicopter slowly began to lift off. I guess they didn’t care about the grunt they were leaving behind.

The Rocket Boss grimaced in pain, but removed the knife from his shoulder. Blood poured from his wound, staining his suit. He let the knife fall to the ground. Almost in slow motion, I saw him put a hand into his suit and withdraw a gun.

Paragraph break.

A gun? I was in way over my head (guns are heavily outlawed; possession of one is worth a life sentence in jail. Gun running is one of Team Rocket’s specialties, but even among the organization they are very rare due to the risk in owning one). What had I been thinking? People could die here. Criss could die here. But I wasn’t going to let that happen. With a surge of adrenaline, I hurled the Rocket off of me as the gunshot rang out. I wasn’t going to be able to pull Criss out of the way.

But it seemed my adrenaline did more than I thought. It took me a second to realize what had happened as the helicopter rose into the sky and disappeared over the crater’s edge. I had tossed the Rocket straight into the path of the bullet. He laid on the ground, dead, his black uniform disguising the pattern of blood blossoming on his back.

Criss knelt, oblivious to everything else, staring after the helicopter, the hatred still burning in her eyes. I stood up, shivering, adrenaline still pumping through me. Enter.

“Are you okay?” I asked Criss.

She turned her head to look at me. I expected her to be crying, but her eyes were dry. Shakily, she responded, “No.” Enter.

Without another word she stood up, retrieved her blood-stained knife, and walked back down the stairs, with Flareon by her side, rubbing up against her leg. I followed silently. Enter.

As we walked through the main chamber, I realized that the two Rocket’s probably should be tied up. I pointed this out to Criss, who wordlessly walked over to the grunt that I had felled and put her finger to his throat. I glanced at her victim and saw that he lay in a pool of blood. It was clear that Criss had slit his throat and only had been kicking him out of anger.

Paragraph break.

She was a scary person.

Paragraph break.

I looked back to see Criss climbing the ladder to the exit tunnel. In confusion I went and checked the pulse of the other Rocket myself. There was none. I had directly killed a man. I just turned away, and followed Criss up the ladder. All it took to harden myself against any pity I would have felt for the man was the thought of my father, the image of his burnt carcass.

We climbed steadily back out of the cave. Blinking in the sunlight, we made our way back down the side of the mountain. We stopped at a clearing in the trees to look out at Cerulean City. Enter.

It was quite a bit bigger than Pewter City. There were many buildings, mostly houses, but the Pokemon Center was visible, as was the large Gym. A road led into the mountains on the far side; a huge river with a bridge spanning it flowed past the city on our left; and another road led away into the distance to our right. Enter.

We strolled into the city and stopped at a crossroad. Enter.

“I’m going to go to the Police Station,” said Criss. “You keep going on to the Pokecenter. I’ll meet you there.” It was the first time she had spoken since we had left the crater.

I nodded and looked after her while she went off to the right. She had a past. That much was clear. What it was, I had no idea. Only time would tell. Enter.

Silently, I continued walking down the road. When I reached the center, I turned in my Pokémon to be healed and collapsed on a bed.

This chapter, I can see, is the one that's going to set the tone of this fic. (Dark, broody, bloody.) So, instead of talking about that just yet, I'm just going to put in a few things about characterization. If I'm spot-on (or at least close) then I think you're good.

Narrator Dude Whose Name I Either Forgot or You Didn't Give: Hates Rockets, is a family man, a dreamer, likes being involved, nosy, very bad secret-keeper, innocent, loyal to a fault, an opportunist, a go-with-the-flow kind of guy, oblivious, dense, determined, holds grudges for long periods of time, resourceful, immature, dogged, and persevering.

Questions: Is he going to end up falling in love with Criss? (If he does, I'm afraid for him.) This journey is about him growing up and losing his innocence, I assume -- so is he going to become jaded in the future? Why did he decide to go on his journey at sixteen? Is it for personal reasons? idiotic reasons? money issues? just-because-you-want-to reasons? Did you ever say his name?

Predictions: He's gonna become a murderer!Ash Ketchum. Dunno if that's a good thing. We'll see.

Criss: She's got a bad past, has no qualms killing, has obviously had some sort of training, patient when needed, hates Team Rocket, had a bonding-thing with Flareon before, has a MEGATON PUNCH!, sarcastic at times, employed as a police investigator, and is mysterious.

Questions: Since she's a) mysterious, b) not the viewpoint character, and c) a static character, I can excuse the fact that she's a bit underdeveloped compared to Mister Nameless Dude above. But I cannot accept it. Will her past be explained? Will more character traits be shown, besides being some kind of low-grade assassin? Will she become more hateful as time goes on? Will she become less stabby-stabby the more time she spends with Nameless Dude?

Predictions: She will kill Giovanni after a long, bloody quest that included her Flareon's murder, and will end up a psychopath that will kill Nameless Dude.

General Notes:

1. I'm seeing with each passing chapter your improvement. However, I'm also noticing more emphasis on scene description than characters' feelings and emotions. It makes me feel as though Nameless Dude (as we're using him as our eyes) is an emotionless robot that doesn't care too much for killing a few thugs.

2. You're starting to list things more than describe what's happening. It's starting to become more of a "tell, don't show" kind of thing rather than a "show, don't tell" story. Me no likey.

3. However, I've noticed that with important things, like with Criss's throwing her knife at Giovanni, you definitely don't skimp out on description. If you keep at that level, then I definitely think things will be less list-y and more show-y.

4. You sometimes mix up tenses whenever you use the words "could," "should," and "would." These are the usual mistakes everyone makes, but in any case, pay attention whenever you use those words.

5. Why, thank you. Now I know never to say "Eat all your vegetables, kids!" with my future kids when there's brussel sprouts on the plate.

I'll get reviewing soon.
 
Re: "Unpredictable" (PG-13)

This chapter, I can see, is the one that's going to set the tone of this fic. (Dark, broody, bloody.)

Not exactly, take a look at my notes in the OP. The tone changes around.

Narrator Dude Whose Name I Either Forgot or You Didn't Give: Hates Rockets, is a family man, a dreamer, likes being involved, nosy, very bad secret-keeper, innocent, loyal to a fault, an opportunist, a go-with-the-flow kind of guy, oblivious, dense, determined, holds grudges for long periods of time, resourceful, immature, dogged, and persevering.

Name's Keith. I made the mistake of deleting the chapter in which I formally introduced him without adding it into the ones I have posted. I say his name in the OP. Anyway, this is pretty much correct. But I'd say overly curious rather than nosy. And although I can see where you get it from, he's not supposed to be dense as much as inexperienced and suffering from a severe case of Genre Blindness.

Questions: Is he going to end up falling in love with Criss? (If he does, I'm afraid for him.) This journey is about him growing up and losing his innocence, I assume -- so is he going to become jaded in the future? Why did he decide to go on his journey at sixteen? Is it for personal reasons? idiotic reasons? money issues? just-because-you-want-to reasons? Did you ever say his name?

Most of these are answered in later chapters. I don't know if I'll add romance at all, I'm still struggling with conveying proper emotion.

Criss: She's got a bad past, has no qualms killing, has obviously had some sort of training, patient when needed, hates Team Rocket, had a bonding-thing with Flareon before, has a MEGATON PUNCH!, sarcastic at times, employed as a police investigator, and is mysterious.

Exactly.

Questions: Since she's a) mysterious, b) not the viewpoint character, and c) a static character, I can excuse the fact that she's a bit underdeveloped compared to Mister Nameless Dude above. But I cannot accept it. Will her past be explained? Will more character traits be shown, besides being some kind of low-grade assassin? Will she become more hateful as time goes on? Will she become less stabby-stabby the more time she spends with Nameless Dude?

I actually have a very comprehensive back story for Criss. I may post it as a one-shot if I ever get around to it. It's pretty badass. Her past will be explained later, more and more as time goes on. Unfortunately that may be a very long time. My current prediction is 40 chapters before Keith is even done with Kanto :uhoh:.

Thanks again for another amazingly comprehensive review!!! It's very helpful.
 
Re: "Unpredictable" (PG-13)

The next chapter will fix this. Looking back, I'm not sure why I needed the mystery, especially as his name is inconsequential.



Although I would never do something like that, I have friends who would. I'm toying with having his general stupidity at this point explained in later chapters but unfortunately my planned storyline is waaayy too long. That's what I get for reading Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings. For now, the only explanation I have is that Keith thinks he's a badass after Mt. Moon.



He didn't go to college. I'm having difficulty finding a way to put this in the story, but I have worked out how the educational system works. They go to school just like we do, except they graduate "high school" at sixteen. While at school they learn the same things we do, math, history, etc. After you graduate, education having to do with Pokemon can be pursued. This story's world doesn't revolve around Pokemon, although they are important to everyday life. Perhaps I should find a way to work that in...



Neither, but it draws inspiration from both.



That's what I've been doing. Never rely on spellcheck I guess. I am considering finding a beta reader.


I hope I'm not coming across as too defensive. I really do appreciate the review. It's given me some good things to think about for future chapters. Thank you so much! :-D



No, not too defensive. Youre just justifying your views, thats all. And thats part of what a reviewer is meant to do - give pointers of how to improve. At least thats what I think Im meant to do....
 
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