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Obsolete: What is your worst film?

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RetroPokeFan

RetroPokeFan

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What is the worst film you've ever seen?


Was it a Summer blockbuster?


A pitful sequel?


A needless remake or reboot?


A direct to video blunder?


Basically which films have you seen that are so awful you'll want to pull your hair in frustration?

I'll kick things off with Tom & Jerry: The Movie from 1992.

Doesn't even feel like a film, feels more like a pisstake on the beloved franchise. Tom & Jerry should NEVER EVER talk. Whoever thought that was a good idea needs to be slapped.


And also Thomas & The Magic Railroad.

What a miserable experience that was, Peter Fonda is probably the worst of the actors, so awful in his role. Feels like a crappy direct to video flick they just threw into cinemas.

It's not even a so-bad-it's-good film, it's so-bad-it's-depressing to watch.

No wonder Britt Allcroft got booted off after it died at the box office.
 
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Special props from me goes to The Hunchback Of Notre Dame 2.

A crappy Disney DTV sequel that completely ruins any essence or tension the original had (which is one of my favourites) and makes it look tame by comparison.

Oh yeah and the villain of the film is pants too.
 
Discounting things like The Little Panda Fighter which I watched out of sheer curiosity, I'd have to go with the live action version of The Cat in the Hat. I actually have a long history with that one; I was two when I saw it in theaters, and my family had to walk out because my friend (at the time) was scared of the cat. Looking back on it, with its juvenile humor and ugly designs, it's definitely the worst in my estimation.
 
Both sequels to the Neverending Story (one of my favourite films of all time) are terrible, but the third is by far the worst. So bad that I couldn't even watch 20 minutes of it. At least with the second film I could watch the whole thing, even if it was a painful experience.
There are so many things I hate about The Neverending Story 3, but thing that really pissed me off was the redesign they gave the poor Luck Dragon, Falkor. It's absolutely horrendous, and he just looks like a big dog. Now, I know Falkor had a lot of dog-like traits, but you could still tell he was a dragon because of his long body and scales. But this redesign took his dog traits to the extreme and I hated it. Not to mention he was now insanely cartoony, which also annoyed me greatly.
The acting was also horrible, as expected since I'm pretty sure it was direct-to-video, and the storyline was forgettable. Not to mention the ruined some other chracters as well...
Honestly I just like to think that both the sequels don't exist.

Another movie I hated was Into the Woods. I went into the theaters not knowing that this film was based on a musical, so I was greeted with a pretty nasty surprise.
During the film there was absolutely no talking. Everyone just sang and sang, and the songs went on forever. Heck, I'm pretty sure that the first song went for around 12 minutes or something. And every time you thought the characters had stopped singing, they'd start again. It drove me insane, and honestly I was on the verge of walking out of the theater. The only reason I sat through it was because my family took me to this film as a birthday present.
I hate musicals as well, with the Exception of Mama Mia and Disney films with singing in them, so the fact this film was one made me loath it even more.
 
Another one from me is The Jungle Book 2.

It is literally just the first all over again with only one or two differences made. They sing "Bare Necessities" 800 times and John Goodman is no Baloo.

He's a Sullivan.
 
The worst film I've ever seen was Norm of the North. When I saw it, I thought it was as bad as people said it was. It's so cliched, unoriginal, obvious environmentalist propaganda, and bases its humour around a twerking polar bear.

Some other duds:
- Any Seltzer and Friedberg movie. These two guys killed the parody genre.
- The Bratz movie. It was even more shallow than the shallow toyline it's based on, plus it's full of ridiculous, over-the-top stereotypes that would make the writers of Family Guy blush.
- The Hottie and the Nottie. It's just as vapid as you'd expect a movie starring Paris Hilton to be.
- That Jem movie that came out two years ago. God, it was sooo cheaply made!
- All of the Jaws sequels. I didn't like the first one that much, but at least it was watchable. The third and fourth ones are especially bad.
- The Wild. It felt like such a Madagascar ripoff.
- The Garbage Pail Kids Movie. One word to sum it up: GROSS!
- Anything produced by Video Brinquedo or Spark Plug Entertainment.
- Any of the animated Titanic movies, full stop.
- The Lion King 1 1/2. Probably one of Disney's worst sequels (or cheapquels as I call 'em).
- The Jungle Book 2, another Disney cheapquel. Probably the reason why I was reluctant to see the live-action one last year.
- The Jetsons movie. Tiffany's role as Judy Jetson really ruined the whole movie (and it gets worse knowing they booted Judy's original voice actress after she recorded all her lines just so they can have a then-contemporary teenybopper appear in it). And for that matter, almost any movie that puts a popular singer or athlete in a starring role (there are some exceptions - I did like Home).
- The live-action Cat in the Hat. It's strange how a movie based on a book for toddlers could be so damn inappropriate. My mum actually made me and my brother leave the theatre before it was finished because she was offended by its content.
- Both Mario movies: the live-action one as well as the animated one where Mario doesn't get Peach because the stupid dog prince gets her instead.
- The Legend of Kung Fu Rabbit. I kid you not when I tell you that Rebecca Black is in it.
- North. I saw it just to see how bad it is, and believe me, it's just as bad as I thought it was!
- The Last Airbender. Need I say more?
- Home on the Range. Probably one of Disney's most forgettable movies.
 
For Disney, I vote Chicken Little and Home on the Range. The latter pretty much killed off traditional animation for feature films (at least until The Princess and the Frog and Winnie the Pooh came along, which did well with general audiences but not enough to revive that medium), and the former...a HUGE rocky step towards Disney's eventual successful CG-animated films later on. Especially since it was trying to copy Shrek's "fairy tale with pop culture" that Shrek performed better on.
 
zakisrage said:
The worst film I've ever seen was Norm of the North. When I saw it, I thought it was as bad as people said it was. It's so cliched, unoriginal, obvious environmentalist propaganda, and bases its humour around a twerking polar bear.

Some other duds:
- Any Seltzer and Friedberg movie. These two guys killed the parody genre.
- The Bratz movie. It was even more shallow than the shallow toyline it's based on, plus it's full of ridiculous, over-the-top stereotypes that would make the writers of Family Guy blush.
- The Hottie and the Nottie. It's just as vapid as you'd expect a movie starring Paris Hilton to be.
- That Jem movie that came out two years ago. God, it was sooo cheaply made!
- All of the Jaws sequels. I didn't like the first one that much, but at least it was watchable. The third and fourth ones are especially bad.
- The Wild. It felt like such a Madagascar ripoff.
- The Garbage Pail Kids Movie. One word to sum it up: GROSS!
- Anything produced by Video Brinquedo or Spark Plug Entertainment.
- Any of the animated Titanic movies, full stop.
- The Lion King 1 1/2. Probably one of Disney's worst sequels (or cheapquels as I call 'em).
- The Jungle Book 2, another Disney cheapquel. Probably the reason why I was reluctant to see the live-action one last year.
- The Jetsons movie. Tiffany's role as Judy Jetson really ruined the whole movie (and it gets worse knowing they booted Judy's original voice actress after she recorded all her lines just so they can have a then-contemporary teenybopper appear in it). And for that matter, almost any movie that puts a popular singer or athlete in a starring role (there are some exceptions - I did like Home).
- The live-action Cat in the Hat. It's strange how a movie based on a book for toddlers could be so damn inappropriate. My mum actually made me and my brother leave the theatre before it was finished because she was offended by its content.
- Both Mario movies: the live-action one as well as the animated one where Mario doesn't get Peach because the stupid dog prince gets her instead.
- The Legend of Kung Fu Rabbit. I kid you not when I tell you that Rebecca Black is in it.
- North. I saw it just to see how bad it is, and believe me, it's just as bad as I thought it was!
- The Last Airbender. Need I say more?
- Home on the Range. Probably one of Disney's most forgettable movies.
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Oh ho ho, some marvelous choices right there.

Another one is Nicolas Cage's Left Behind, one of the absolute worst films of 2014. Everything is awful, the acting, the effects the dialogue, it's an all out assault on the eyes and ears that's just painful. And the score? Jesus almighty, I know a lot of people called Goldarb's music from XY crap but wait till they get a load of this... drumkits, that's all the score ever has, it is one of the most crappiest scores of all time and that is truly saying something, considering the film is about the end of the world, I'm surprised Nicolas Cage didn't do one freakout scene.
 
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RetroPokeFan said:
Oh ho ho, some marvelous choices right there.

Another one is Nicolas Cage's Left Behind, one of the absolute worst films of 2014. Everything is awful, the acting, the effects the dialogue, it's an all out assault on the eyes and ears that's just painful. And the score? Jesus almighty, I know a lot of people called Goldarb's music from XY crap but wait till they get a load of this... drumkits, that's all the score ever has, it is one of the most crappiest scores of all time and that is truly saying something, considering the film is about the end of the world, I'm surprised Nicolas Cage didn't do one freakout scene.
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I never liked the Left Behind books (although I do think the concept of them was kinda interesting), so I'm not surprised the movie would be terrible.

Some others that I hated:
- The Giver. Possibly one of the worst adaptations of a book I've ever seen. The writers basically turned it into a Hunger Games ripoff, doing things like adding tons of action scenes, aging the main characters from kids to teens (and of course getting people in their 20s to play them), giving Jonas brown eyes (in the books, his blue eyes are something of a plot point), and adding a romance between Jonas and Fiona.
- Jack and Jill. Let's just say this deserved to win every category at the Razzies.
- Christmas with the Kranks. Another lame comedy.
- The Magic Voyage. One of many terrible 90s animated movies that tried to cash in on Disney.
- Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny. Where to start? There's the special effects (or lack thereof), the wooden acting, the horrible costumes, and the fact that most of it is some crappy adaptation of Thumbelina.
 
Though while I really don't care for any Disney direct-to-DVD sequels, they're harmless enough. They're just forgettable at worst.

The following can go to hell:
The Human Centipede- this is one of the grossest movies I have ever seen. I wish I never watched it. It has a few sequels that I will never watch. This was quite enough.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning- it wasn't scary. It wasn't interesting. It was repulsive. It's like they thought blood, guts, and torture equals a scary movie. It was disgusting and had me uncomfortably squirming the entire way through when I saw it in theaters.

The live action versions of The Grinch and The Cat in the Hat: these pieces of garbage are the epitome of wanting something innocent enough turned into some teenage edgelord's dream come true. The latter made me squirm as much as TCM: TB. Unlike it being in theaters, I saw this in one of my classes during the end of my junior year so there was no escaping from it, either. Why they brought that movie for the last day of school is beyond me. I'll never forgive my teacher for making me watch that.
 
Carnosaur, dinosaur movie that came out around the same time as the first Jurassic Park. It's not even enjoyably bad, it's just bad.
 
ocelotlrama jaguar said:
Though while I really don't care for any Disney direct-to-DVD sequels, they're harmless enough. They're just forgettable at worst.

The following can go to hell:
The Human Centipede- this is one of the grossest movies I have ever seen. I wish I never watched it. It has a few sequels that I will never watch. This was quite enough.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning- it wasn't scary. It wasn't interesting. It was repulsive. It's like they thought blood, guts, and torture equals a scary movie. It was disgusting and had me uncomfortably squirming the entire way through when I saw it in theaters.

The live action versions of The Grinch and The Cat in the Hat: these pieces of garbage are the epitome of wanting something innocent enough turned into some teenage edgelord's dream come true. The latter made me squirm as much as TCM: TB. Unlike it being in theaters, I saw this in one of my classes during the end of my junior year so there was no escaping from it, either. Why they brought that movie for the last day of school is beyond me. I'll never forgive my teacher for making me watch that.
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Never liked the live action version of The Grinch, even as a kid I remember hating the film so much. Little old me prefers the Chuck Jones version, now that is a true classic.
 
The Fantastic 4 reboot. It's pretty much a big slap to the face for comic fans. The lack of respect for the franchise really shows with how poorly made the film is in every category. Dr Doom is butchered even worse than last time and that is shameful considering what a great character he is in the comics that these people don't bother to read.

Dragonball Evolution. Only a single person involved in the making of this movie is actually a fan of the franchise. Piccolo wasn't even going to be green that should tell you this movie was doomed to fail. Any one who's a fan of anime in general should avoid this movie like it's the black plague.

Catwoman. This movie still makes me cringe. I still can't decide whether this or the Fantastic 4 reboot is the worst comic movie of all time. I'd gladly watch Daredevil or Elektra over this any day.

Green Lantern. It would be here for the bad CG alone but the boring story and space fart villain make it much worse.

Jaws 3 and 4. Don't remember which movie it was but there was a scene where the shark doesn't even move before it crashes through the glass. It really looks like someone just put up a shark toy against a background and moved the camera slowly towards it and considered it acceptable to put in a movie.
 
Steel_Justice said:
Jaws 3 and 4. Don't remember which movie it was but there was a scene where the shark doesn't even move before it crashes through the glass. It really looks like someone just put up a shark toy against a background and moved the camera slowly towards it and considered it acceptable to put in a movie.
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Jaws 3. Possibly the most unintentionally hilarious thing I've seen in a movie.

 
Gonna hop on the Suicide Squad hate train. Just inept on every level imaginable. I could go on about the atrocious editing, lengthy exposition (the first 20 minutes or so should serve as a guide on how NOT to do character introductions), total apathy for its own characters, awkwardly integrated flashbacks, Jared Leto's terrible performance, the fact that you could cut out half the characters and nothing would change, etc. but it's all been said already. It's not even trashy in a fun way, just really boring. I can't believe I watched the director's cut; it felt like it was never going to end. We deserve better blockbusters.
 
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