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Time to review Chapter 2! The dialogue here feels fairly natural and I like that. 'Her thoughts screamed' really? I'm not too sure how to feel about this line, it feels kind of cheesy and a bit choppy. I think you could rephrase it. Is there a way you can say this, without directly telling...

I guess this fic is next! I've been wondering about it for a while I suppose although I don't know much about it. Anyhow, onward! Intro: Seems like standard, but also original set-up especially with the combining of fantasy and technology and the main character being a researcher rather than a...