Time to review Chapter 2!
The dialogue here feels fairly natural and I like that.
'Her thoughts screamed' really?
I'm not too sure how to feel about this line, it feels kind of cheesy and a bit choppy. I think you could rephrase it.
Is there a way you can say this, without directly telling...
I guess this fic is next! I've been wondering about it for a while I suppose although I don't know much about it.
Anyhow, onward!
Intro:
Seems like standard, but also original set-up especially with the combining of fantasy and technology and the main character being a researcher rather than a...
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