My first warstory

[Shiny Staraptor]

This is my first warstory. Please comment on the format and whether you thought it was good or not. Remember, this is a nonserious warstory, so please don't overthink things when you rate.

Instead of the colors PO uses for types, super effective and things like that, this will be completely in black text. That's because I didn't have time to sort it on MSW (which keeps colors) so I had to use notepad. Sorry about that.


Also, for the sake of privacy, my foe willl simply be called "Opponent."
The teams:
Mine (Username for this team on PO is I liek mudkipz.)

Opponent's Team:

And now, we begin!

Battle between Opponent and Iliekmudkipz started!

Tier: Dream World
Variation: +19, -13
Rule: Rated
Rule: Sleep Clause
Rule: Species Clause

Iliekmudkipz sent out Gyarados!
Opponent sent out Hippowdon!
The foe's Hippowdon's Sand Stream whipped up a sandstorm!

Ooh a sandstorm team. This should be interesting. I just have a vibe not to dragon dance on him, so I attack right off the bat instead.

So if you like teams that make no sense (my team) and the most annoying kind of sandstorm team (my opponent's team), read on!

Start of turn 1
Gyarados used Waterfall!
It's super effective!
The foe's Hippowdon lost 46% of its health!

The foe's Hippowdon flinched!

The sandstorm rages!
Gyarados is buffeted by the sandstorm!
The foe's Hippowdon restored a little HP using its Leftovers!

Well, flinchax. I know a waterfall from Gyarados usually 3HKOs Hippowdon, and that did not change here. Yay!

Start of turn 2
Gyarados used Waterfall!
It's super effective!
The foe's Hippowdon lost 49% of its health!

The foe's Hippowdon flinched!

...Okay. Now I am starting to feel sorry for him. What are the chances of this happening? Gyarados' hidden hidden ability must be Serene Grace xD

The sandstorm rages!
Gyarados is buffeted by the sandstorm!
The foe's Hippowdon restored a little HP using its Leftovers!

Start of turn 3
Gyarados used Waterfall!
It's super effective!
The foe's Hippowdon lost 17% of its health!
The foe's Hippowdon fainted!
Gyarados's Attack rose!

6-5 I liek mudkipz
Gyarados 87%
Conkeldurr 100%
Zoroark 100%
Porygon2 100%
Ditto 100%
Emolga 100%

Opponent

Hippowdon 0%
Ferrothorn 100%
Zoroark 100%
Gliscor 100%
Tyranitar 100%
Excadrill 100%

The sandstorm rages!
Gyarados is buffeted by the sandstorm!
Opponent sent out Ferrothorn!

Start of turn 4
Iliekmudkipz called Gyarados back!
Iliekmudkipz sent out Emolga! < Really Zoroark I sent out.

The foe's Ferrothorn used Leech Seed!
Emolga was seeded!

The sandstorm rages!
Emolga is buffeted by the sandstorm!
Emolga's health is sapped by leech seed.

Yay, he's under the impression that I am Emolga and therefore cannot do anything to Ferrothorn. How wrong he was >:3

Start of turn 5
Emolga used Flamethrower!
It's super effective!
The foe's Ferrothorn lost 100% of its health!
The foe's Ferrothorn fainted!

The sandstorm rages!
Emolga is buffeted by the sandstorm!

SINGED. I hate that weed with a passion. May the fire that killed it continue to burn on it in hell.

6-4
I liek mudkipz
Gyarados 87%
Conkeldurr 100%
Zoroark 87%
Porygon2 100%
Ditto 100%
Emolga 100%

Opponent

Hippowdon 0%
Ferrothorn 0%
Zoroark 100%
Gliscor 100%
Tyranitar 100%
Excadrill 100%

Opponent sent out Gliscor! < I found out later on it was actually Zoroark.
Start of turn 6
The foe's Gliscor used Pursuit!
It's not very effective...
Emolga lost 60 HP! (22% of its health)
The foe's Gliscor is hurt by its Life Orb!

Zoroark used Dark Pulse!
It's not very effective...

The foe's Gliscor lost 45% of its health!

The sandstorm rages!
The foe's Zoroark is buffeted by the sandstorm!
Zoroark is buffeted by the sandstorm!
Zoroark's health is sapped by leech seed.

Yay! Wrong prediction on his part. :> Seems he thought I would switch, due to most Gliscor carrying Ice Fang and he not knowing that I was a Zoroark myself. At the very least, I did more damage than he did.

Start of turn 7
The foe's Zoroark used U-turn!
It's super effective!
Zoroark lost 90 HP! (34% of its health)
Zoroark fainted!
The foe's Zoroark is hurt by its Life Orb!
Opponent called Zoroark back!
Opponent sent out Gliscor!

The sandstorm rages!
Iliekmudkipz sent out Ditto!

Ditto transformed into Gliscor!

DAMN IT. First Pokémon on my team down. You will be avenged, brave soldier Zoroark.

5-4
I liek mudkipz
Gyarados 87%
Conkeldurr 100%
Zoroark 0%
Porygon2 100%
Ditto 100%
Emolga 100%

Opponent

Hippowdon 0%
Ferrothorn 0%
Zoroark 49%
Gliscor 100%
Tyranitar 100%
Excadrill 100%



Start of turn 8
Ditto used U-turn!
It's not very effective...
The foe's Gliscor lost 5% of its health!

Iliekmudkipz called Ditto back!
Iliekmudkipz sent out Porygon2!

The foe's Gliscor used Stone Edge!
A critical hit!
Porygon2 lost 100 HP! (32% of its health)

The sandstorm rages!
Porygon2 is buffeted by the sandstorm!
The foe's Gliscor restored a little HP using its Leftovers!

Meh. If only it really did have Ice Fang. Thanks for doing literally nothing, Ditto!

Start of turn 9
The foe's Gliscor used U-turn!
Porygon2 lost 36 HP! (11% of its health)
Opponent called Gliscor back!
Opponent sent out Zoroark!

Porygon2 used Tri Attack!
The foe's Zoroark lost 41% of its health!
The foe's Zoroark fainted!

The sandstorm rages!
Porygon2 is buffeted by the sandstorm!

YES. Take that, bitch.
5-3

I liek mudkipz
Gyarados 87%
Conkeldurr 100%
Zoroark 0%
Porygon2 51%
Ditto 100%
Emolga 100%

Opponent
Hippowdon 0%
Ferrothorn 0%
Zoroark 0%
Gliscor 100%
Tyranitar 100%
Excadrill 100%


Start of turn 10
The foe's Gliscor used Earthquake!
Porygon2 lost 73 HP! (23% of its health)

Porygon2 used Tri Attack!
The attack of Porygon2 missed!

The sandstorm rages!
Porygon2 is buffeted by the sandstorm!

Grrrr... Porygon2 is getting weaker by the minute. I gotta do something! I don't want to give him a free turn by switching... but he is killing my hacker! Choices, choices.

Start of turn 11
The foe's Gliscor used U-turn!
Porygon2 lost 32 HP! (10% of its health)

Opponent called Gliscor back!
Opponent sent out Tyranitar!

Porygon2 used Tri Attack!
It's not very effective...
The foe's Tyranitar lost 15% of its health!
The foe's Tyranitar was frozen solid!

The sandstorm rages!
Porygon2 is buffeted by the sandstorm!
Porygon2 fainted!
Iliekmudkipz sent out Conkeldurr! (Conkeldurr)

Well, Porygon2 went down, but managed to take down a Pokémon on my Opponent's team, and dent another. Things are going nicely. Thanks for doing more than Ditto, Porygon2!

4-3

I liek mudkipz
Gyarados 87%
Conkeldurr 100%
Zoroark 0%
Porygon2 0%
Ditto 100%
Emolga 100%

Opponent
Hippowdon 0%
Ferrothorn 0%
Zoroark 0%
Gliscor 100%
Tyranitar 85% (frozen)
Excadrill 100%



Start of turn 12
The foe's Tyranitar is frozen solid!

Conkeldurr used Bulk Up!
Conkeldurr's Attack rose!
Conkeldurr's Defense rose!

The sandstorm rages!
Conkeldurr is buffeted by the sandstorm!
Conkeldurr's Flame Orb activated!
Conkeldurr was burned!

Huh? With the current situation he's in, I predicted a switch and so I set up. Doesn't matter though, he's still all frozen up. Soon the ice he's encased in will shatter... but by then he still won't be able to move >

Start of turn 13
The foe's Tyranitar is frozen solid!

Conkeldurr used Drain Punch!
It's super effective!
The foe's Tyranitar lost 84% of its health!
The foe's Tyranitar fainted!
The foe's Tyranitar had its energy drained!

The sandstorm rages!
Conkeldurr is buffeted by the sandstorm!
Conkeldurr is hurt by its burn!
Opponent sent out Excadrill!

The foe's Excadrill is floating on a balloon!

Oh hell yes. I've bulked up, and have taken down his Tyranitar. Now to punch through 40kg of steel and... mud? idk.

4-2

I liek mudkipz
Gyarados 87%
Conkeldurr 94%
Zoroark 0%
Porygon2 0%
Ditto 100%
Emolga 100%

Opponent
Hippowdon 0%
Ferrothorn 0%
Zoroark 0%
Gliscor 100%
Tyranitar 0%
Excadrill 100%


Start of turn 14
The foe's Excadrill used Earthquake!
Conkeldurr lost 139 HP! (33% of its health)

Conkeldurr used Drain Punch!
It's super effective!
The foe's Excadrill lost 100% of its health!
The foe's Excadrill fainted!
The foe's Excadrill had its energy drained!

The sandstorm rages!
Conkeldurr is buffeted by the sandstorm!
Conkeldurr is hurt by its burn!

Two Pokémon knocked out in two turns? Looks like I more or less have this sealed. Conkeldurr won't be the one to make this a win for me though.

4-1

Gyarados 87%
Conkeldurr 87%
Zoroark 0%
Porygon2 0%
Ditto 100%
Emolga 100%

Opponent
Hippowdon 0%
Ferrothorn 0%
Zoroark 0%
Gliscor 100%
Tyranitar 0%
Excadrill 0%

Start of turn 15
The foe's Gliscor used Roost!
But it failed!

Conkeldurr used Drain Punch!
It's not very effective...
The foe's Gliscor lost 40% of its health!
The foe's Gliscor had its energy drained!

The sandstorm rages!
Conkeldurr is buffeted by the sandstorm!
The foe's Gliscor restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
Conkeldurr is hurt by its burn!

...Or not. My Conkeldurr is no match for this, but it's not like this Gliscor does much to me either.

Start of turn 16
The foe's Gliscor used Earthquake!
A critical hit!
Conkeldurr lost 256 HP! (61% of its health)

Conkeldurr used Drain Punch!
It's not very effective...
The foe's Gliscor lost 36% of its health!
The foe's Gliscor had its energy drained!

The sandstorm rages!
Conkeldurr is buffeted by the sandstorm!
The foe's Gliscor restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
Conkeldurr is hurt by its burn!

Well... that critical hit really did take a chunk of health off of me, but at least I made up for it with my Drain Punch.

Start of turn 17
Conkeldurr used Mach Punch!
It's not very effective...
The foe's Gliscor lost 20% of its health!

The foe's Gliscor used Earthquake!
Conkeldurr lost 31 HP! (7% of its health)
Conkeldurr fainted!

The sandstorm rages!
The foe's Gliscor restored a little HP using its Leftovers!

Aww... poor Conkeldurr. Time for avengance!
3-1

I liek mudkipz
Gyarados 87%
Conkeldurr 0%
Zoroark 0%
Porygon2 0%
Ditto 100%
Emolga 100%

Opponent
Hippowdon 0%
Ferrothorn 0%
Zoroark 0%
Gliscor 28%
Tyranitar 0%
Excadrill 0%

Iliekmudkipz sent out Gyarados!



Start of turn 18
The foe's Gliscor used Roost!
The foe's Gliscor landed on the ground!
The foe's Gliscor regained health!

Gyarados used Waterfall!
It's super effective!

The foe's Gliscor lost 69% of its health!

Mwarharharhar.

The sandstorm rages!
Gyarados is buffeted by the sandstorm!
The foe's Gliscor restored a little HP using its Leftovers!

Start of turn 19
The foe's Gliscor used Stone Edge!
It's super effective!

Gyarados lost 174 HP! (52% of its health)

Gyarados used Waterfall!
It's super effective!
The foe's Gliscor lost 7% of its health!
The foe's Gliscor fainted!
Gyarados's Attack rose!

And with that, I win.

Iliekmudkipz won the battle!
Opponent: Your power level...It's over Arcanine thousand.

Iliekmudkipz:gg
Opponent:gg

Props

Emolga, because he just sat through the entire battle looking cute.
My Zoroark, because he killed Ferrothorn.
My opponent, for not being a pussy and forfeiting just as I won. (That would actually make it impossible to write this, considering I had to copy/paste.)

Slops

Ditto, for doing nothing except denting Gliscor who canceled it out with leftovers.
My opponent's Gliscor, for not carrying Ice Fang which would let Ditto actually do something. Paradox? If Gliscor was not here ditto wouldn't be either.

Well, that's it. If you liked this warstory, I will do more fruitful ones that use all my Pokémon in the future.

 

[Angad]

The colors would really help the format, what really makes this any different than a normal battle?

 

[SharKing]

^ How about the concept of Emolga (Zoroark) using Flamethrower to kill the iron durian? That part made my day.

But yeah, some details of the warstory may need some reworking. For example, the commentary was posted before the Sandstorm/Leftovers in some turns, and after that in others. What?

 

[Thundagere]

I agree with he above posts about the format, but tbh, the hax at the beginning was really, really nasty.

 

[Shiny Staraptor]

^ How about the concept of Emolga (Zoroark) using Flamethrower to kill the iron durian? That part made my day.

But yeah, some details of the warstory may need some reworking. For example, the commentary was posted before the Sandstorm/Leftovers in some turns, and after that in others. What?

The colors would really help the format, what really makes this any different than a normal battle?

I agree with he above posts about the format, but tbh, the hax at the beginning was really, really nasty.

Thanks for the constructive comments, everyone. I will use them to make my warstories both easier and more fun to read in the future.
Thundagere: Yes, the hax at the beginning was absolutely ungodly. But it isn't something I control
Sharking: I read your Warstory on smogon and saw how much you hate Ferrothorn. I think the same way as you. Also, now I see what you mean about the commentary before sandstorm/leftovers. Will work on that.

 

[g3rgni]

This warstory was a decent first attempt, but it could use some improvements. You should consider using different-colored fonts and perhaps some sprites at the end of each turn in your future warstories.

 

[coolking503]

THe battle was a normal battle, if not even more haxy. 4-0ing an opponent after a large show of hax doesnt warrant a warstory. There was barely any prediction and your opponent played badly (against excadrill he should have switch in gliscor, popped the balloon and then KO's you. Even if he doesn't have anything but uturn, use uturn to pop it, and conkeldurr comes in, switch back to gliscor and KO it. Its not your fault that your opponent wasnt good, but this wasnt a battle worthy of a warstory.

 

[Shiny Staraptor]

coolking503: I suppose that is correct. Now, if I did something crazy like sweeping with emolga...

 

[Lord Clowncrete]

Awesome, this is the first warstory i read here and it doesnt matter how much hax was there because u were bold enough to use pokes like emolga in ur team..
I would like some colours, but that doesnt warrant so much criticism..
The battle wasnt extraordinary, but it wasnt horrible either..
anyway, i would give 6.5/10 because this was ur first attempt..and u beat a team which has almost become standard..

 

[Angad]

Awesome, this is the first warstory i read here and it doesnt matter how much hax was there because u were bold enough to use pokes like emolga in ur team..
I would like some colours, but that doesnt warrant so much criticism..
The battle wasnt extraordinary, but it wasnt horrible either..
anyway, i would give 6.5/10 because this was ur first attempt..and u beat a team which has almost become standard..

When Zoroark is on a team, it is not standard. The opponent wasn't the best player either.

 

[Lord Clowncrete]

When Zoroark is on a team, it is not standard. The opponent wasn't the best player either.

If u ignore zoroark, then the remaining 5 pokes are seen on almost every single team..
And of course, the opponent wasnt a good player..example is when he keeps hippowdon on the field rather than switching to ferrothorn..

 

[Angad]

If u ignore zoroark, then the remaining 5 pokes are seen on almost every single team..
And of course, the opponent wasnt a good player..example is when he keeps hippowdon on the field rather than switching to ferrothorn..

To be fair, it's like a 5% chance to be flinched twice in a row.

 

[Lord Clowncrete]

To be fair, it's like a 5% chance to be flinched twice in a row.

U know something?Its very easy to criticize someone or something..
Why not be a little bit encouraging?
This guy wrote this to entertain us, not for his interest..

 

[Angad]

Good Point, but I don't feel that this is what we should hold as a "warstory."

 

[Lord Clowncrete]

Good Point, but I don't feel that this is what we should hold as a "warstory."

This is his first "warstory".. and there are only a few writers whose first warstories become classics..

 

[Synthesis]

Okay, to be honest, the battle wasn't a particularly interesting one, nor highly methodical and strategic, from what I saw. The lack of images and the plain font was also quite disheartening. Starting with hax immediately was also a turn off. More insight into your thought process would really help, imo.

But, you had a nice and creative team, which included one of my favourite Pokemon, Emolga. At lesst you actually have done a warstory, unlike the rest of these bastards XD. Do check some of them out on Smogon in future so you get a bit of a better feel for them.

Team: 8/10
Battle: 3/10
Layout: 4/10
Thought process: 5/10
Total: 20/40

 

[drug_duck]

powerful warstory!