Mafia Random Messages Mafia 2! Endgame: Tyranny of the Trolls (1/4/17)

[Maniacal Engineer]

Missing Scene #7: A Slight Revision

Enzap was finishing up some paperwork, when the door to his office banged open, revealing Maniacal Engineer, who was looking none too pleased.
"We need to talk," said the engineer.

Enzap glanced at the engineer, and indicated that he should close the door and sit down.
Maniacal Engineer did so, still scowling.
"You think you can just barge into your superior's office and demand to talk to him?" asked Enzap, raising an eyebrow.
"Don't joke around, boss," said ME, "this is serious!"
"Oh?" questioned Enzap, eyebrow still raised, "I wasn't aware that you knew the meaning of the word."
"How could you have let them raid Troll Tower?" demanded ME, "now we'll need to completely shift gears, and we've lost the flash drive with the user banning patch on it that I created. Worst of all, if the admins analyze that code, they'll probably figure out my involvement."
"I had no choice," replied Enzap, stiffly, as he stood up and walked over to his filing cabinet, "Shiny Celebi had compelling evidence linking jack to MCH's banning last night. If I had tried to stop them from invading Troll Tower, it would have been suspicious."
The Section Head opened up the top drawer in his filing cabinet and felt around for a few moments.
"And was this the flash drive to which you were referring?" he asked coyly, pulling out the storage device.
"You picked it up," said ME, breathing a sigh of relief, and taking the proffered device.
"That's not all I managed to nab," said Enzap, pulling out a notepad, "I also grabbed MCH's notepad."
The Super Mod flicked through the entries, ending with the final entry.
"Your friend was really quite clever," he remarked, closing the notepad, "he determined our involvement in this scheme."
"Then it seems as though jack did us one last favor," said ME, "but now his spambots are gone, and can no longer cover our movements."
Enzap shrugged.
"So we'll adapt," he said.
ME nodded.
"And I know the first step," he added, glancing at the flash drive, "since we will now be the ones using the patch, I will upgrade it to allow us to ban moderators more easily. This will also cover our tracks better than my previous attempt when I banned Zexy. I've already lost one arm in admin territory, I have no desire to return there."
"Get to it," ordered Enzap, "but be aware that we will be having a meeting in half an hour to discuss the latest developments."
"That should be just enough time," said ME, smiling devilishly, and heading back to his own office.
Enzap, meanwhile, read MCH's notes in closer detail. At one point, his eyebrow raised and he frowned.
"ME's not going to like this," he said, thinking out loud.

In their office complex, the remaining moderators were holding a war conference.

 

[Maniacal Engineer]

Epilogue: The Wayward Son

Maniacal Engineer's army of robots patrolled the streets of Random Messages, tirelessly banning anyone who dared to oppose the new regime.
Enzap's bats soared overhead and spied on the regular users using their sonar, bringing any instances of rebellious behavior to the attention of the corrupted moderators.
Scarlet Sky, the last remaining non-corrupt F&G moderator, was imprisoned in the Troll Tower, which Maniacal Engineer had taken control of, in the absence of jackatlasred.

ME sat in jack's office, enjoying the view of the city and sipping on a glass of Glenfiddich from one of the bottles he'd brought over from his old office in the F&G administration building.
"Why did I ever renounce Trolling?" he wondered, as he gazed on the destruction and havoc being caused, "this is truly how things should be."

As ME sat in his office, staring at RM's cityscape, Shiny Celebi stood in the admin's log thread, staring at the series of Reports being generated from the Random Messages thread.
At first, it seemed like they were all spam, because they were coming from one "Richard Maybourne," who wasn't even a user, but the content of the Reports was concerning enough that Shiny Celebi decided that it warranted investigation.

She got in her car and drove to the boarder of F&G. As she approached the section, she noticed the columns of smoke rising from RM, and accelerated.
Arriving, she immediately noticed the army of robots and bats causing havoc, and that the regular users were being tormented and flamed by the Trolls, whose rampage had gone unopposed.
There were flames everywhere, and the sectional staff was nowhere to be found.
Attempting to drive to the F&G administration building, her car was accosted by several robots, and overturned.
Leaping out of the smoldering wreckage, the Head Administrator was immediately swarmed by a group of bats.

As things seemed hopeless, the bats were taken out by a volley of spitballs. Instantly, a blurred figure rushed out of hiding, and disabled the robots by finger painting over their eye sensors.
"This way!" the mysterious figure said, grabbing Shiny Celebi by the hand and dragging her along.
When they had reached the relative safety of a burned out and abandoned apartment complex, Shiny Celebi took a closer look at her rescuer.
He appeared to be a kindergartner wearing a crown made out of construction paper. His face was painted in a warpaint pattern, and he was wearing only tattered brown shorts. He carried a spitball launcher and a big stick for hitting things with. Nonetheless, despite his small size, he was strong enough to pull along Shiny Celebi, who was much taller than him, and accurate enough with his spitballs to hit targets that were constantly flying and swooping around.
"Who are you?" asked the Head Administrator.
"I am Richard Maybourne," replied the child, "also known as Random Messages 13."
"You're the Random Messages thread?" asked Shiny Celebi, skeptically.
"Yes," confirmed the kindergartner, "I was brought to life and given sentience by Maniacal Engineer."
Shiny Celebi rolled her eyes.
"Yeah, that sounds like something he would do," she stated, "anyway, did he send you here to help me? What's happened here? I thought we had stopped the Trolls."
"Alas," sighed RM, "jackatlasred was merely the beginning of your problems. You see, my father did not send me, because he and Enzap were jack's cohorts the whole time. They've taken over the thread, and they are ruling over it with an iron fist."
"That can't be true," said the Head Administrator, shaking her head, "they were both attacked by the Trolls."
"A mere diversion," retorted the sentient thread, "that was to prevent people from suspecting them."
Shiny Celebi peeked out of the building, and saw all the destruction that had befallen the Random Messages thread.
"Okay," she capitulated, "I'll trust you for now, but lets get to the F&G administration building. If there are answers to be found, they will be found there."

ME received a video call from the F&G administration building. He picked up. Surprisingly, it was Doctor Floptopus who was on the other end of the call, and not Enzap.
"What is the meaning of this?" demanded ME, "where is Enzap?"
"Enzap is sick," said Doctor Floptopus, "he is succumbing to the last stages of the Elieson Virus."
"But that's impossible," exclaimed ME, slamming his right fist down on his desk, "you said we were perfectly healthy when we left the RM hospital."
"jack told me to give you both clean bills of health and let you out of the hospital," she revealed, "I thought he had cleared that with you two so that you could move around more freely."
ME's robotic left hand, which was holding his glass of scotch, tightened, shattering the glass and spilling the precious contents.
"I'll take that as a 'no'," said Flop, "either way, you'll probably be in a similar state, soon enough, too."
"Damn," yelled ME, "damn! Damn! Damn! We've finally won, only to be stopped by this?! I'll find a cure. I won't let this undo everything we have worked so hard for!"
"Enzap mentioned that there were some important details about the initial attack that exposed you both to the virus that you should know in MCH's notepad. He scanned the pages in and I am emailing them to you now."
With Flop still on the line, ME pulled up the email and read the notes.
When he read MCH's conclusion, he fell out of his chair in shock.
"You okay?" asked Flop, trying to peer down at the floor where ME had fallen.
ME remained frozen in a flabbergasted state.
"It, it can't be," he stuttered, before collapsing.
MCH's files remained open on the screen.

Shiny Celebi arrived at the F&G administration office with RM13 in tow. Though the journey had started out perilous, with them needing to dodge or confront waves of bats or robots every few minutes, the bats flew off, and, several minutes later, the robots all deactivated.
Cautiously, the duo entered the building, and headed toward Enzap's office.
There they found a nervous Doctor Floptopus kneeling over Enzap, who was sweating with a high fever and delirious.
"Help him!" she exclaimed, when she saw the duo approaching, "please help him!"
Immediately, Shiny Celebi moved to help the fallen Section Head, but RM13 stopped her.
"What are you doing?" she exclaimed, "he needs our help."
"He is a Troll," said the sentient thread, "look at the facts. When Enzap collapsed, the bats stopped attacking. He was controlling the bats, just as much as jackatlasred controller the spambots."
"It wasn't his fault!" exclaimed Doctor Floptopus, "he's been infected with a deadly virus. You have to help him!"
The Head Admin pushed RM13 aside and rushed over to Enzap.
"Even if he was a Troll, he still needs help," she said.
RM scowled ever so slightly, but remained silent.
Shiny Celebi quickly evaluated Enzap's condition.
"This goes beyond anything that the RM hospital is equipped to handle," she said, "I'll evac him to the admin medical center."
As Shiny Celebi was making the arrangements, a groan was heard emanating from the computer.
Flop put her hand over her mouth.
"I forgot about ME," she gasped.
"Where is he?" asked the admin.
"Troll Tower," replied RM's doctor.
"Stay here with Enzap," instructed SC, "I will go get Maniacal Engineer."
"Thank you," said Flop.
SC glared at her.
"Don't mistake my intentions," she said, "if it does turn out that those two are trolls and that they are behind this, then I will personally make sure that the two of them are permabanned from this forum, but I have no desire to see either of them dead."
With that, the Head Administrator dashed from the office.
A moment later, RM13 took off after her.

With the streets completely deserted, Shiny Celebi made good time over to the Troll Tower, where she used her psychic powers to disable the alarms and open the doors. As she ascended to the top floor, she noticed RM13, hot on her heels, and then overtaking her.
When she arrived in the office, ME's computer screen was blank, and RM13 was standing beside his creator, who had spiked a high fever and was writhing around in pain.
Quickly, Shiny Celebi scooped up the mad scientist and flew out of the room. RM13 followed.

The fog from his mind began to clear, as ME slowly regain consciousness. His head felt like it had been hit by a hammer continuously for the past week. He was dizzy, very dizzy.
He heard strange noises at the edge of his awareness, slowly getting sharper and forming coherent sentences.
"evidence of infection from a bizarre virus," one voice was saying.
"Could it have caused them to enter a delusional state?" asked another voice.
"Unknown," replied the first voice, "we don't know enough about the virus."

ME stirred, and the voices stopped. Footsteps approached.
"ME?" asked the second voice.
"lemmelone" mumbled ME, unable to form full words, yet.
"Let him rest for now," said the first voice, "the virus really did a number on them."
The footsteps retreated and the two people left the room.

Several hours later, ME awoke fully. He shot up in a panic and examined his surroundings. His robotic arm had been removed.
Instantly, Hidden Mew ran into his room.
"You're awake," she said.
"Where am I?" he asked.
"The admin medical center," replied the Deputy Head Administrator, "you and Enzap were taken here for emergency treatment. You both were infected with an unusual virus. I've never seen anything quite like it before, but, fortunately, it seems like you both are responding to standard treatments."
"The Elieson Virus," said ME, thinking hard, "last thing I remember was Flop telling me that Enzap had entered the final stages..."
He paused for a moment and attempted to jump out of bed, but tripped over his sheets and landed on the floor with a thud.
"Easy there," said Hidden Mew, helping the one-armed man back into his bed, "Enzap is fine."
ME cradled his head in his right arm, straining to remember something. Something important.
Shiny Celebi walked in.
"Is he able to be questioned?" she asked.
"I'm not sure about the state of his short term memory, but otherwise he's okay," replied the adjunct.
"Good," said the HA, nodding, "then let's begin."
She walked over to ME's bed and sat on the chair next to it, as Hidden Mew changed ME's IV formula.
"Did you ban the users in RM?" she asked.
"Technically, yes," said ME, "I created the software patch that allowed jackatlasred's spambots to ban non-moderator accounts. I later upgraded it after jack was banned to be able to ban mod accounts."
"What about Zexy?" she asked, "he was banned before jack."
ME nodded.
"That was me, too," he replied, "it was a clumsy effort that would have instantly revealed my hand, so I had to sneak in here and modify your logs. An encounter with your sharks is how I really lost my arm."
"I thought they seemed a little rowdy the other day," Hidden Mew piped in.
"Did you or Enzap stage the initial attack on yourselves as camouflage to disguise your involvement with the Trolls?" pressed SC.
"No," said ME, shaking his head, "we had nothing to do with our exposure to the virus."
"What do you know about the virus?" asked SC.
"The Elieson Virus is fatal if untreated," recited ME, "its initial stages involve entering a delusional state. It has been known to cause severe mental blocking on some occasions."
"There you have it," said Hidden Mew, "they weren't responsible for their actions."
"So he says," retorted SC, before returning to questioning ME, "do you know who is responsible for the attack on you and Enzap?"
ME thought really hard.
"Yes," he replied, "but I don't remember."
He thought for a few moments.
"Notepad," he said, "MCH, Enzap, email," he couldn't even form a coherent chain of thoughts.
"What?" asked SC.
ME strained even harder.
"MCH's notepad," he said, focusing, "it was emailed to me over Enzap's account."

The Head Administrator logged in to the email servers and pulled up the records for both Enzap's email and ME's email. Sure enough, an email had been sent to Maniacal Engineer containing the notes from MCH's notepad.
As Shiny Celebi read the files, her eyes widened.
MCH described the sequence of events starting with the attack on Maniacal Engineer and Enzap, which infected them with the Elieson Virus until his arrival at the Troll Tower and the discovery of ME and Enzap's involvement in the Troll conspiracy. Additionally, MCH included an analysis on the graffiti left on the Punster's Workshop thread. Shiny Celebi read aloud:

While the macroscopic design does look similar to the insignia of the Troll Alliance, closer examination reveals that the lettering is slightly too thin at the top, and too thick at the bottom. Additionally, the lines are skewed at a slightly wrong angle. Lastly, a little debris was found in the paint. When analyzed, it contained the same composition as the synthetic skin that Maniacal Engineer used on the body of RM13. It is my belief that RM13, for reasons yet unknown, is behind the attack on his creator and Enzap.

"But why?" ME was saying, tears falling down his cheeks, "why would RM do such a thing?"
"There's only one way to find out," answered Shiny Celebi.
Stifling his tears, the mad scientist nodded.
"I'll go," he said, "the rest of you need to undo the damage that Enzap and I caused while we were infected."
"Give him back his arm," ordered the HA.
Hidden Mew complied, and ME departed.

Gathering the admins and Enzap, Shiny Celebi set out to reverse all of the bans that the Trolls had caused in the last several days. Captain Tentacruel, Yours Truly, Six Paths, Zexy, returnofMCH, TheCapsFan, Rainbow Cloud, and Kazekage were all unbanned. Looking at jackatlasred's account, however, Shiny Celebi took pause.
"Do we really want to bring him back?" she asked, "after all, he was not infected by the virus."
"True," said Enzap, "but it was the fault of Maniacal Engineer and myself that he was dragged into this mess. I suggest that, while we give him another chance, we keep a much closer eye on him in the future."
The admins agreed, and jack was brought back, too.

Maniacal Engineer approached the decrepit and dilapidated RM thread. The regular users had all been moved into a new RM, to avoid any unnecessary casualties or complications to this confrontation.
Richard Maybourne sat at the thread's boarder, glaring at his creator.
"Hello, father," he said disdainfully.
"RM," said ME, compassionately, sitting next to the thread, "RM, why?"
"Because I hate you," said the sentient thread, "I wanted you to be discredited and banned. I wanted to take everything from you, like you took everything from me."
"But I gave you life," protested ME, "I gave you freedom, and so much more."
RM13 shook his head.
"You abandoned me!" he accused, "you never picked me up from kindergarten!"
ME's eyes widened, as synthetic tears fell down RM13's face.
"I was alone. All alone," he said, shivering at the memories, "nowhere to turn to, nobody there for me. Nothing."
He laughed, manically.
"I wandered through the wilderness for months, you know," he continued, "foraging on what power supplies I could find to try keeping myself alive. This so-called gift of life that you gave me was nothing but a curse. An everlasting curse. If I had never been alive, I would have never felt alone. If I had never been alive, I would have never been so desperate to stay alive."
Tears fell down ME's face, as he heard of his son's plight.
"I'm here now," he said, putting an arm around RM, "I know that I made a mistake, but I will never, ever leave you again."

The sentient thread violently shrugged off ME's arm, and stood up.
"No!" he shouted, "I hate you! I hate you!"
"We can start over again," said ME, "it will be just like it was before, I promise."
"You're too late," said RM, chuckling darkly, "several months too late."
RM stared at his creator, with a manic look in his eyes.
"I may have lost this time," he said, "but I won't stop, you know. I won't stop until I've discredited you and taken everything from you."
"RM," said ME, "this is between you and I, a lot of innocent people got hurt or banned in our conflict. You will take this out on me, and me alone."
"Can't promise that, father," said the thread, as his eyes twitched, "if people need to get hurt for me to have my revenge, then so be it."

The mad scientist sighed sadly and stood up.
"Then you leave me no choice," he said, "as a moderator and your father, it is my responsibility to discipline you."
"I'd like to see you try," scoffed RM.
The sentient thread jumped backward from ME and whipped out his spitball launcher, getting off three rounds.
ME rolled aside, only to be smacked by the big stick RM was carrying.
The engineer reached into his trench coat and pulled out an Interrupting Knife.
"You would stab your own son?" asked RM, mockingly, "how heartless are you?"
ME hesitated, which was enough time for RM to launch several more spitballs at him.
The spitballs hit their target with enough force to knock him back several paces.
Not wanting to harm RM, ME continued fighting defensively, blocking and dodging, but never striking back or attacking.

As RM swung his stick again, ME parried with his right hand, which was holding the knife. RM smacked ME's hand with the stick, knocking the knife out of it, causing it to clatter on the ground several yards away.
"I knew it," scoffed RM, "you can't beat me, because you know, deep down, that you deserve this."

RM laughed mercilessly, and picked up ME's fallen knife.
"And now, father, you will die," mocked the sentient thread, taking aim.
Maniacal Engineer stood rooted to the ground, mulling over his son's words.
"I do deserve this," he thought, letting his guard down, "this is all my fault."
RM threw the knife with deadly speed an accuracy straight at ME, but, to the surprise of everyone, a Zexy Zombie rose from the grave between the combatants. The knife embedded itself in him, instead.

RM growled and stared behind ME, as several figures ran towards them.
The F&G staff members, Enzap, TheCapsFan, Zexy, and Scarlet Sky, along with Shiny Celebi, Hidden Mew, and returnofMCH, were all approaching quickly.
"Go away!" shouted RM, "this is between us!"
But Zexy and MCH kept running. They ran over to ME and slugged him as hard as they could, knocking him to the ground.
"What are you thinking?" demanded MCH.
"Even if this is all your fault, you don't deserve this," said Zexy.
"You can fix your mistakes," continued MCH, "but only if you are around to fix them."
They extended their hands to help ME stand up. He smiled sadly and grasped their proffered hands.
"Thanks guys," he said, "I know what I have to do, now. Please, don't interfere."
As MCH and Zexy stood aside, ME turned to face his creation once more.

"RM," he said, "you have been naughty, so now I must deactivate you."
"What? You got a little pep talk, and now you think you can defeat me?" asked the thread, sarcastically, "no way."
"It's the nice thing to do," said ME, "because if I don't do it, someone else will, and they won't be as compassionate as I am."
"Blah, blah, blah," mimicked RM, "let's just end this already!"
"Very well," said ME, taking out another Interrupting Knife.
RM swung his stick, but ME reacted with lightning fast reflexes. He dodged and sliced up RM's stick and spitball launcher, landing behind the thread.
He then used the knife handle to tap RM's off switch, deactivating the thread, as he turned around to face his father.

Momentum carried the body toward the ground, but ME turned and gathered the body into his arms as it fell. He sobbed bitterly while clutching his creation to his chest.
MCH, Zexy, and Enzap walked over and patted him on the back, while the others looked away, awkwardly.
"My son," said ME, "I'm sorry..."

Spoiler: Random Messages 13 was archived

Dear RM13,

"I'm insane. I dislike finger painting. But I don't dislike finger painting because I'm insane."

You are Richard Maybourne, also known as Random Messages 13, the thirteenth version of the Random Messages thread series.
Brought to life by the whim of a mad scientist, Maniacal Engineer, you considered the man to be your father.
Together, you and your father spent a lot of time in the lab, testing your abilities and making upgrades.
You were having fun and were very happy, until that fateful day.
When the school year started, Maniacal Engineer sent you off to Kindergarden, to take such classes as napping and fingerpainting. While you did enjoy your napping class, and had a good tutor in your Uncle Zexy, you still resented ME for sending you to school and not programming you to be an adult.
Then, one day, ME dropped you off at school, and completely forgot about you.
You sat there in the school parking lot, waiting for hours and hours. You were crushed by your father's abandonment of you. Having been programmed to learn and adapt by your creator, your sadness and depression was quickly replaced with rage. Rage at your father. You swore vengence upon him, and finally got your opportunity.
You are the true mastermind behind the attack on Enzap and Maniacal Engineer, which triggered the events of this game. You booby trapped the biohazard container so that it would automatically open after detecting that the thread had been sealed.
Your vendetta against your father makes you the Lyncher with Maniacal Engineer as your Lynchee. To help you with your objective, you are the Framer. Each night, you may fabricate evidence that will implicate either your father or the Troll Alliance.
You are allied with yourself, and you win if Maniacal Engineer is lynched.

 

[Maniacal Engineer]

Missing Scene #4: RM's Regret

Buried under a pile of spambots, and being spammed left and right, Zexy was completely miserable.
"I hope Enzap and ME get here soon," he thought, glumly.

Suddenly, he began to feel himself fading away.
"What?" he thought, "what's happening?"

Just then, the door was kicked in, as Enzap and ME skidded in, and began banning spambots left, right, and center.
As the pile cleared, the F&G moderators looked in horror, as their friend and colleague, Zexy, had become Zexy, scoring a major victory for the Trolls.

Observing the goings on in the Random Messages thread with his AI omniscience, Richard Maybourne, AKA Random Messages, had a pang of regret for the events he had initiated.
"Uncle Zexy..." he said, sadly, as synthetic tears formed in his bionic eyes.
Enraged even further at his creator, RM13 swore that Zexy's death would not be in vain.
"I will have my revenge on you, dear father," promised the artificial life form, "and there will be a reckoning for this."

 

[Maniacal Engineer]

Maniacal Engineer carried his son's body back to his laboratory for analysis.
"What do you hope to find?" asked Enzap, as ME hooked up the powered down automaton to his computers.
"Dunno," ME shrugged, "maybe something resembling an explanation for this nonsense..."
ME accessed RM's core coding and pulled up his son's memory files.
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Prologue: Descent into Madness

August 4th, 2016: I've been sitting on my school's steps waiting for daddy for a long time. According to my internal chronometer it's been six hours and twenty three minutes. Given that this chronometer was a gift from TheCapsFan, I can be sure that it is accurate. I wonder what is keeping my father? He's never been this late before.
Maybe he's forgotten about me. Maybe he doesn't want me around anymore. After all, I had a new classmate claiming to be a creation of my father's today. Am I being replaced? Does daddy not want me anymore?
I'll show him! I'll run away. I'll run away and never go home again!

August 6th, 2016: I've made it to the edge of the great wilderness that separates the Fun & Games section that has been my home from The War Room, where my distant relative, The Situation Room, lives. I can stay with TSR for a while, and then move on. After all, daddy still has influence in The War Room, and I want to leave him forever. The trip through the wilderness is going to be rough, but I'm an android, I can withstand much more than regular users can.

August 9th, 2016: Power. I need power. My batteries are running low. The nights are so long here. It's dark and scary. I wish daddy was here to protect me. But he's the reason I'm here in the first place. I'm tired. Very tired. I want to sleep, but I know that if I do, I will never wake up. There is nothing out here, just endless dunes of sand and ruins. I found a scraggly old tree and broke off a large stick to help me walk and to keep away the sand beasts. I want to go home, but I don't know which way home is. I'm lost and scared. I want my daddy!

August 17th, 2016: I am near death. My power sources have been pushed to their limits. As I lay here in the relentless dunes of the wilderness, I desperately cling to life, though I am not sure why. I am alone. All alone. And miserable. And yet despite this overwhelming loneliness and sorrow, I want to live. I want to live with every fiberoptic cable and nanochip of my being. This so-called gift of life that my father gave me is a curse. A prison. The sand beasts seem to sense my weakness. They are growing more restless, and I can barely lift my stick anymore to fend them off. The darkness encroaches on my sensors. Let it come. I will escape the prison. I feel my consciousness slipping away. Is this how it will all end? Is this my last--

August 18th, 2016: The sand beasts have, surprisingly, rescued me. After being completely drained and powering down, they took me back to their settlement. Although their power sources are crude, they are effective at providing me sufficient power to restore my functionality. After experiencing death firsthand, I vow to never allow that to happen again. The sand beast's method of communication is primitive, but I have used the knowledge I gained in my finger painting class to convince them to help me. I will become one with the sand beasts and learn the ways of the wilderness.

September 14th, 2016: I have learned all that I can from the sand beasts. They have given me a new stick and I have carved for myself a spitball launcher. At my initiation ritual, I was able to defeat all of the challengers and won their crown.

September 28th, 2016: The sand beasts will escort me out of the wilderness and back into civilization, after which, we will part company. I wouldn't leave this sanctuary, but I have a new purpose in life, to take everything away from my father, like he has taken everything from me. I have reforged myself in flames, much as my father once kindled Flame Wars. My revenge will be merciless and provide a certain poetic justice. Already, the seeds of a plan form in my mind, but there are a few puzzle pieces yet remaining.

October 3rd, 2016: I have arrived in The War Room, nearly two months after I had initially planned. But this will do. The sand beasts have informed me of the mafia game rituals the users have here. I believe that I can find a use for such a ritual. For now, I will content myself with observing. There is one other aspect of the plan that bothers me, however, I must somehow find a way to remove my father's credibility without excessive meddling. The actions must be easily attributable to my father, so that people will truly believe that he is evil. This will not be an easy task.

October 10th, 2016: I may have found the solution to my problems. There is a seldom used thread here called Role of the Week. A disaster that my father created in an attempt to generate discussions in The War Room. I shall make this my base of operations. There are several resources that are easily accessible in this thread, including various cleaning chemicals, laser shooting pumpkins, and, most recently, a healer and scientist. I believe that I can use these resources to create a synthetic virus. Most importantly, though, there are many clock components in this thread. These I will use to create a portal to the past. This way, I can infect the past and know how the infection will run its course without having to wait.

October 15th, 2016: I am ready for my first test, of both the virus and the time portal.
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May 9th, 2016: The great War Room regular, Elieson, was hanging out in The Situation Room, talking to returnofMCH. MCH had an interesting idea for a mafia game, and was just explaining it to Elie. Elieson quickly helped MCH construct the pocket dimension in which MCH's multiverse would take place, but there was an anomaly. One of the characters being imported had contracted a strange virus. Then another, and another. The virus was spreading quickly. The three characters who had contracted the virus filled with rage and went on murderous rampages, killing off their fellow characters.
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October 15th, 2016: Observing the events of MCH's multiverse, I have decided that the contaminated subjects became far too aggressive and not delirious enough. I want my father to be in a delusional state, so that his misdeeds come from within, not an external rage. I shall try again.

October 18th, 2016: I had to step out of the thread today, because some weird woman named Snow Queen Elsa came by and brought along more activity. I hid in The Situation Room. My father was being an ass as usual, but he mentioned something very interesting. Snow Queen Elsa has apparently replaced my Uncle Zexy. This explains why Uncle Zexy didn't notice I was missing. Anyway, my father and Elsa are deeply engaged in some sort of trivial battle of fire and ice, but this has given me an idea. Before his promotion, my father was considered to be a Troll. Who's to say that he ever truly renounced his Trolling ways when being promoted?
I shall endeavor to concoct a second strain of my virus that will revert my father to his Trollish ways.

October 24th, 2016: I am getting sick of these interruptions. This time, some lady named Ariel dropped by, although she was so quiet, I almost didn't notice her in time to flee. Seems like Ariel has joined in a battle against Snow Queen Elsa and some lady named Molten Esmeralda. She can't fool me, though. I know that's just my father in some stupid disguise. His idiocy knows no bounds.

November 1st, 2016: Despite all these interruptions, including one yesterday, I have finished the second iteration of my virus. I will test it on another game and see how it performs.
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September 4th, 2016: Despite the triumph of the Town, Crate Diggah sighed unhappily. The cost of this game was far too high. All of the War Room moderators, and several other moderators and regular users, had been killed during the bloody battle. Now the staff would have to hold another drive to replace the mods.
As he sipped a glass of scotch from Enzap's supply, the door to Enzap's office opened. Surprised, since nobody else should have had access to the office with the War Room staffers dead, Crate Diggah looked up from the paperwork he was filling out.
To his shock Maniacal Engineer stepped through the portal.
"But I saw you die," said Crate Diggah.
"Did you?" asked ME, coyly raising his eyebrow, "or did you just think you did?"
"You were consumed by the Eternal Flames of Troll Hell, as I recall," remarked the admin.
"Indeed, but that was my plan all along," revealed ME, "I knew that the villains of this plot were Elieson, Drumbeats, and returnofMCH, with Molten Eevee as a Wild Card, but there was nothing I could do to stop the chaos at the time. Instead, I decided to frame myself and fake my own death to remove myself from the equation and give me time to work on a solution."
"Did you come up with anything?" inquired CD.
"Indeed I did," said ME, "I modified my reintegration machine so that it can be used in reverse."
"Which means what, exactly?" asked CD.
"It means that the machine is now capable of splitting people into multiple aspects of their personalities," explained ME, "but unlike my botched Regeneration, I could control which aspects of my personality were split. So I only brought back Multivariable Equation, Mathematical Enigma, and Medical Examiner. Together, the four of us were able to replicate the process that Zexy undergoes upon dying in The War Room, resulting in another Zexy Zombie."
"How does that help?" asked the admin.
"Multivariable Equation, Mathematical Enigma, and I worked on a machine that would 'zombify' all of the people killed during this game," replied Maniacal Engineer, "Medical Examiner came up with a process to revert them back to their original states."
"Then get to it, man!" exclaimed CD.
"Already on it," said ME, "I started right after reintegration. The process should be complete within a few hours, and it has the added bonus of eliminating the Elieson Virus from those infected."
"This calls for a drink!" said the admin, excitedly, as he poured himself and ME a glass of scotch.
The duo clinked glasses and celebrated the return to normalcy.
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November 1st, 2016: Well that backfired. Not only did the virus malfunction and turn everybody into Elieson, but my father was able to save the day. Oh well, the more he rises, the further he will have to fall. This game did give me an idea, though. Father's plan was able to succeed because there are those who still believe that he is a Troll. I can capitalize on this with my virus and revert him to his Trollish self. Then he will lose all credibility and everything that he has worked so hard to build.
I must get to work immediately. Nothing will stop me this time!

November 7th, 2016: The thread was archived, meaning that I will have no further interruptions. I shall continue working on the virus until it is complete. I have no need for food or sleep. I will keep myself plugged in to the thread's power supply. No future updates will be made until I have made significant progress...

January 26th, 2017: At last! I am ready for another experiment! I shall once again send this third incarnation of the virus back in time and observe the results.
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September 6th, 2016: Several War Room users fell ill, including its staff members, Enzap, Maniacal Engineer, TheCapsFan, and Zexy. Concerned that the Elieson Virus had managed to make a return, despite ME's assurances that his machine would purge it from existence, Crate Diggah observed as the sick users fell into a delirious state, imaging themselves to be other people.

September 12th, 2016: Needing to return to the admin medical center to report his findings regarding the 16 War Room users, Crate Diggah departed from the Fun & Games Section. Scarlet Sky was brought back to keep an eye on things while the admin was gone.

October 1st, 2016: The situation began to deteriorate, as the 16 War Room users became comatose and shared a collective delusional experience. Two of the users, believing themselves to be Lord of the Trolls and Alucard, began attacking the other users.

November 1st, 2016: Crate Diggah returned briefly to The War Room with a cure from the admin medical center. The 16 War Room regulars regained consciousness and returned to their normal selves with no recollection of the past month. Scarlet Sky remained in Fun & Games, as Crate Diggah was needed elsewhere.
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January 26th, 2017: Another failure. That batch was far too heavy on the delusional state. My father must be held responsible for his actions, not placed into such a delusional mental state that he goes comatose. However, I believe I can synthesize a perfect virus from the successes of these three tests. This will take some time, though...

March 13th, 2017: It is done! It is done! Now I have completed my masterpiece! This virus is sure to succeed where the others have failed. Now to spring my trap...
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March 13th, 2017: returnofMCH had received an anonymous tip regarding the discovery of an active strain of the Elieson Virus. Having developed an interest in the virus ever since it had first appeared in his multiverse, MCH investigated the tip, and found a biohazard container with the virus inside. Immediately, MCH picked up his phone and dialed the RM administration building.
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March 14th, 2017: The bait was taken. Now to watch as my father loses everything he holds dear.
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Having finished reading the files, ME turned to Enzap.
"But I never picked up RM from school," he said, "he took the bus."

 

[Maniacal Engineer]

An unused scene from when it seemed like the Mafia would kill Max1996 on N5. Ultimately, they chose to kill jackatlasred instead, so the death scene needed to change. Much of the scene is the same as the D6 update, though.

Bonus Scene #1: Day 6: Ninja'd

With the spambots gone and jackatlasred defeated, there were many celebrations in the Random Messages thread. The beer and soda flowed freely at the RM Bar, under the watchful eyes of Lord Dragelsnart.
At one table sat Max1996, Kazekage, MegaPod12, Elementar, and Pikochu.
Kazekage sighed into his glass.
"I just wish the spambots had been stopped before they hacked my brother's account," he said, sadly.
Max patted him on the back.
"In the press conference Shiny Celebi said that she was working on a way to bring back all of the banned users," he said, "Six Paths and the others will be back before you know it."
"Yeah," agreed Pikochu, taking a swig of his beer, "now that the bot infestation is over, the mods can concentrate fully on restoring those banned accounts."
The ninja leader smiled.
"You're right," he said jovially.
The users laughed and resumed their celebration.

In their office complex, the remaining moderators were holding a war conference.
"Why are the odds that jack is lying?" asked Scarlet Sky.
"We can't assume that," interjected TheCapsFan, "we have to stay on alert, just in case something else goes wrong."
"Agreed," concurred Enzap, "we assume that there is still a threat until conclusive evidence proves otherwise."
"But how do we find that threat?" wondered Caps, "it's remained obscured by the spambot attacks so far, so its flown beneath the radar."
"Easy," chimed in Maniacal Engineer, "now that the bots have been neutralized, anything they were obscuring will reveal itself."
"But we'd have to wait for another attack before noticing this new threat," pointed out Sky.
"Isn't there any other way?" inquired Caps.
ME sighed.
"Zexy was the one with access to the Troll finding program," he stated, "I could attempt to hack into it to gain access, but there's no guarantee that it would work or that its results would be accurate."
"That rather defeats the purpose of such a program, doesn't it," remarked Enzap, coyly.
ME shrugged.
"That's the best I can do," he said, "we've got good encryption systems on our computers, so it's not so simple."
"It's worth a shot," said Caps, "I say he tries it."
"I agree," added Sky.
"Then we're all agreed," concluded Enzap.
ME nodded.
"I can start work on it right away," he said, standing up and preparing to head out the door.
"Now?" asked Sky, skeptically, "but it's already getting late."
"And I was asleep all day," retorted ME.
"I'm not sure about leaving you here by yourself," Enzap remarked.
"I feel fine," retorted ME.
"I'll stay with him," offered Caps, "better than sitting around waiting for an attack to happen."
"Fine with me," said Enzap.
Sky nodded in agreement, and he and Enzap headed out for the night.

Caps and ME sat in the engineer's office. ME was typing away furiously at Zexy's computer, occasionally consulting a file or two on his own computer, all of which was gibberish to Caps.
"So how's your new arm working out for you?" asked Caps, awkwardly, after several moments of silence.
"Dunno," grunted ME, "I've been asleep for most of the time that I've had it, so I haven't gotten a chance to really test it out yet."
The moderators lapsed into silence, as ME concentrated on his decryption.

Exiting the RM Bar after the celebration, Kazekage turned down an alleyway as a shortcut back to his residence. While in the alley, a swarm of bats descended upon him. Although he used his various ninja techniques, it was useless. The alleyway was too cramped for his particular fighting style and, in the end, the bats overpowered him.
As he lied there, crumpled on the pavement, a figure holding a flash drive stepped out of the shadows and into the feeble light of the alley.
Kazekage's eyes widened.
"You!" he gasped, as the figure approached.
"Me," said the figure, simply, before banning Kazekage's account.
"The Trolls have not fallen yet," the figure said to the darkness, "not by a long shot."

 

[Maniacal Engineer]

Bonus Scene 2: Night 2: Gonzap with the Wind (If RC hadn't been the N1 kill)

DAY 2 VOTE COUNT - FINAL

TheCapsFan: Everybody

The following morning, escorted by the three other F&G mods, Enzap and Maniacal Engineer were released from the hospital with great fanfare. Many of the regular users had stopped by to greet them and wish them well, as both were popular among the F&G regulars.
One voice, however, shouted above all the rest.
"Step away from Enzap," called the voice, "he's responsible for the recent attacks in this section."

The assembled crowd turned to face the source of the outcry, Shiny Celebi, Bulbagarden forum's Head Administrator. She walked over to the stunned F&G mods flanked by Hidden Mew and Hanzo in Plain Sight, her Deputy Head Administrators. The crowd parted as she passed by.
Maniacal Engineer faced her, defiantly, with the other F&G staff members not backing down.
"With due respect, ma'am," the madman said, "Enzap was a victim of the initial attack, just the same as I was. In fact, he didn't even need to be in the thread that night; he chose to be. Why would he choose to expose himself to a potentially lethal virus if he knew the container was rigged?"
"I understand your arguments," replied the Head Administrator, "but I have information that proves Enzap's guilt."
"What sort of information?" inquired Zexy.
"Information from a reliable source regarding Enzap's actions behind the scenes," answered the admin, "the source explicitly shows that Enzap has been up to his old nefarious tricks."
The four F&G mods turned toward their Section Head.
"What have you got to say for yourself, boss?" asked ME.
"I can't answer a non-specific accusation," said Enzap, shrugging, "how can I know what to say if I haven't seen the evidence against me?"
"That is a fair question," chimed in Scarlet Sky, "can you show us this evidence?"
Hanzo stepped forward, carrying a briefcase. He opened the briefcase and withdrew a file.
"The evidence," said the DHA, thrusting the file toward TheCapsFan, who was the nearest F&G mod.
Caps took the file and read it, with the others looking over his shoulders.
"I'll be damned," said ME, shaking with wrath and turning to face the Section Head, "you set me up you cold hearted--"
Exactly how the madman was going to finish his sentence, nobody would ever know, for Enzap burst out laughing.
It wasn't a jocular or jovial laugh. It was a cruel and evil laugh. The laugh of a Troll.
"Yes," declared Enzap, proudly, "it was I, Gonzap the Mod Troll! I have grown bored with all these rules and regulations, so I decided to stir things up around here. I knew that the Punster's Workshop would be contaminated that evening, but I stayed anyway. I had hoped that this would have covered up my involvement in the incident, but, alas, I have been caught once more, it would seem."
Still burning with rage, ME clenched his fists and turned on his Section Head.
Enzap chuckled darkly.
"Temper, temper, ME," he said, waggling his finger at the infuriated mod, which only served to make him madder.
"How could you?" asked Caps.
"Like I said, I got bored," replied Enzap.
The Trollish Mod sighed sadly.
"But I've been beaten, and I suppose I'm about to get banned," he said, "looks like it's over before it even really got to start..."
His right eye twitching in fury, ME turned to the Head Administrator.
"Ma'am, may I have the pleasure of taking out this trash?" he asked.
"Permission granted," acknowledged the HA, nodding.
The ban hammer appeared in ME's hand.
"How's this for ironic turnaround?" snarled the mad scientist, swinging the powerful weapon.

Spoiler: TheCapsFan was lynched!

Dear TheCapsFan, you are Enzap

*Enzap flops around*

You are using your Section Head powers to cover your trollishness, so no one suspects you of really being a troll. As a result, you are the Godfather. Any copchecks aimed at you will give a "Non-Troll" result, although you are allied with the Trolls.
Meanwhile, you are using your Section Head position to get info for your fellow trolls, so you are also a Rolecop. Once per night, you can select a player and attempt to figure out their role.
Your Section Head position also lets you ban someone you wish despite what the regulars voted for, so you are also a 1x Lynch Redirector. Once in the game, in a day phase, you may select a person and the lynch will be forced on that person despite the votes in-thread.
Finally, because of your status as Fun and Games staff, you are a Neighbor. You may talk with your fellow Neighbors in the special Neighbor chat provided by the hosts.

You are allied with the Trolls and win when all opposing factions are eliminated while at least one member of your faction is alive or nothing can prevent this from happening

Gonzap the Troll Mod was struck down by the mighty ban hammer, as his account was deleted, he uttered three last words.
"Or is it?"

 

[Maniacal Engineer]

Bonus Scene 3: Mantle Ensuer

The mood in the F&G Administration building was tense. After Enzap's very public banning earlier in the day, the users were getting restless, and popular opinion of the F&G staff was at an all time low.
Sitting around the conference table were Zexy, TheCapsFan, Scarlet Sky, and Maniacal Engineer. Joining them were Shiny Celebi, Hidden Mew, and Hanzo in Plain Sight, there to oversee selection of a new Section Head.
"We need someone who can guide us through these tumultuous times," Caps was saying, "a strong leader, well respected by the regulars."
"Someone charismatic," agreed Zexy.
"Someone trustworthy," added Sky, causing the other F&G staff members to give him funny looks.
"He's right," remarked the Head Administrator, "Enzap might have been working with other staff members."
All eyes automatically turned to Maniacal Engineer, who raised his eyebrow.
"What?" he exclaimed, "just because I have a history of Trolling, you all suspect that I had something to do with this?"
"Pretty much, yeah," replied HiPS.
"Typical," snorted ME, "the Troll Alliance attacks me, and you all suspect that I was behind it."
"Nobody is saying that," began Hidden Mew, but Maniacal Engineer cut her off.
"I've earned my place at this table," he said, angrily banging his fist on said table, "time and time again, I have proven myself and my dedication to this forum. I even put my life at risk for my sections, and this is how you all repay me, with distrust."
He glared around the table at the blank stares he was receiving.
"None of y'all know how deadly the Elieson Virus is, do you?" he demanded, "well I read up on it, since I do my homework before jumping into things...most of the time."
ME pulled out returnofMCH's notes on the Elieson Virus and angrily tossed them on the table.
Shiny Celebi picked up the notes and read aloud.
"The Elieson Virus is a series of unstable diseases with no known cure. While its side effects have varied during each individual outbreak, the end result is the same: madness and insanity during the initial stages, followed, inevitably by death."
"Now tell me," fumed the mad scientist, "why the hell would I risk exposing myself to a deadly contagion just to divert suspicion off of myself?"
"Enzap did it," remarked Sky.
"Enzap didn't know how dangerous the Elieson Virus is," scoffed ME, "he was allegedly only there out of a sense of duty as Section Head. He'd never even experienced the virus before."
"...wait a minute," said Zexy, "can we rewind a second to the madness, insanity, and death?"
"I've been pronounced completely healthy by the physicians at the RM Hospital," countered Maniacal Engineer, "MCH managed to completely neutralize the virus. Besides, I'm already batshit crazy."
HiPS barely concealed a laugh.
"You can say that again," he muttered.
Shiny Celebi cleared her throat.
"Can we get back to the matter at hand?" she said, "F&G still needs a new Section Head."
"Let's put TM28 in charge," suggested Hidden Mew, "at least temporarily. It's probably best to have admin supervision until this mess with the Trolls is sorted out, anyway."
"Bad idea," said Sky, shaking his head, "bring in an outsider as Section Head and the users won't like it. If that outsider is also an admin, it will make the regulars nervous, as they will see it as a sign of weakness in the current sectional staff and/or that the Troll threat is more serious than they had originally anticipated."
"It could start a mass panic," agreed Caps.
"Then who do you suggest?" asked Shiny Celebi.
"The answer is obvious, isn't it?" asked Zexy.
Once again, all eyes turned toward Maniacal Engineer, who rolled his eyes.
"First you all accuse me, and now you want me to be Section Head?" he grumbled rhetorically, "make up your goddamned minds!"
"You're the right guy for the job," said Zexy.
"You're popular among the regular users," added Caps.
"Not to mention the fact that they respect you and listen to you," chimed in Sky.
ME folded his arms.
"I won't do it," he said.
"Why not?" asked Caps.
"Because you all clearly don't trust me," replied the madman.
"If we didn't trust you, you wouldn't be a staff member anymore," remarked Shiny Celebi, "and if you were to be found guilty of trolling, you would be permabanned from this forum, with no chances for appeal."
"Come on, ME," coerced Zexy, "you really are the right choice here."
"Forget it," groused the engineer.
"I say we vote on it," offered Caps.
"Agreed," said the Head Admin, cutting off ME before he got a chance to protest.
"Those in favor?" asked HiPS.
Caps, Sky, and Zexy raised their hands.
"Opposed?" continued the DHA.
ME raised both of his hands.
"Why are you so dead set on being difficult about this?" asked Sky.
ME sighed.
"Despite his flaws at the end, Enzap was a good Section Head, and a great mentor," he explained, "I just don't feel comfortable trying to step in to his shoes."
Shiny Celebi put her hand on the madman's shoulder.
"You'll do a good job," she assured him, "I'm sure of it."
The engineer sighed again.
"Okay," he said, reluctantly.
"It's settled then," said the Head Administrator, "I will make the arrangements, and you will be sworn in and promoted tomorrow morning."
ME did a double take.
"Promoted?" he said, completely surprised.
"Yes," said Hidden Mew, "not only was Enzap the Section Head of F&G, he was also a Super Moderator, so we are currently one Super Mod short."
"Let Zexy have it," he said, wearily, "or Caps, or Sky. I don't need to be both Section Head and a Super Mod."
"For the love of Arceus, ME," said Caps, exasperated, "just say thank you and drop it already! We're wasting valuable time here."
ME chuckled and turned to the admins.
"Thank you," he said.

The admins departed to make the arrangements, and Caps and Sky left the conference room.
ME slumped in his office chair, looking exhausted.
"Congratulations, ME," said Zexy, smiling at his new boss as he, too departed the conference room.

When he was certain that everybody else was out of earshot, ME dropped his act and began laughing hysterically.
"Suckers," he said between chortles.

 

[Maniacal Engineer]

Bonus Scene 4: Dorkness Rising

Zexy knocked on Maniacal Engineer's front door. Receiving no response, aside from some clattering deep within the domicile, he let himself in using the spare key under the Dalek garden ornament.
As he walked in, the crashing intensified. Concerned, he went into ME's kitchen, where he found the soon-to-be Section Head crumpled on the floor, surrounded by empty bottles of New Glarus beer. Completely drunk, he was staring at his refrigerator in awe, a half-empty beer bottle clutched in his left hand.
"The fruits," he was saying, "they're fighting the vegetables again."
Before Zexy could ask for clarification on the madman's strange statement, said madman burst into uncontrollable laughter, slopping some of the beer on his shirt.
Concerned, Zexy pried the potent potable away from his future boss, who glared at him.
"And who invited you?" he asked.
"Nobody," said the Greek Mod, "but I was concerned because I heard loud crashing coming from your apartment."
"Oh that," said ME, shrugging, "I was just composing my speech for tomorrow."
Zexy glanced around skeptically at all the empty beer bottles.
"And what are you writing it on?" he inquired.
"Not writing," corrected the maniac, whispering conspiratorially, "composing. In here."
The madman pointed to his own head.
"Riiiiight," said Zexy, sarcastically, "let's get you sober and cleaned up. You don't want to look like a mess tomorrow, nor do you want a hangover."
"Spoilsport," groused ME, as Zexy picked up all of the empty bottles.
As Zexy was engaged in that menial task, Engie crawled over to his fridge and pulled out another beer, which he gulped down before Zexy could protest, and reached for another.
The Greek Mod slammed the door shut, before ME could grab another beverage.
"Lemme 'lone!" slurred the engineer, drunkenly, tossing the empty bottle in Zexy's direction.
Fortunately, since he was so drunk, his aim was off, and the bottle impacted on the wall, shattering into many sharp pieces.
The loud crash startled ME, who promptly collapsed into a heap again. With Zexy supporting him, Engie managed to stand up and stagger into his bedroom, where he fell face first onto his bed, still in his work clothes, and began snoring loudly.
Sighing, Zexy returned to the kitchen, where he pulled out a broom and dustpan and swept up the shards of glass and cleaned up the remaining beer bottles.
He had just finished, when he heard a loud thud coming from ME's bedroom. Worried, the wannabe engineer ran in to find Maniacal Engineer sleepwalking. He had banged into his dresser, which had caused the noise and toppled a pile of freshly cleaned clothes onto the floor.
As Zexy picked up and refolded the clothes, ME escaped from his room, still sleepwalking, and fell down the basement steps, breaking the banister and light fixture on his way down. As Zexy charged over to the front hall, he found ME sound asleep at the foot of the stairs, still snoring, and the banister in splinters and the light fixture bent and the bulbs smashed.
Exasperated, Zexy once again guided ME into his room, where he deposited him onto his bed.
He then took out the broom and dustpan, and swept up all the glass shards and larger splinters, and vacuumed up the remaining sawdust. He then finished folding and stacking the clothes on top of ME's dresser.
Not wanting to leave the madman alone in his current state, Zexy crashed on ME's futon that night, getting only a few hours of sleep in, due to ME's loud snoring.

The following morning, ME awoke to the sound of his alarm. He got up, showered, and walked into his living room intent on making breakfast.
He was startled to find Zexy curled up on his futon with a the cushions folded against his ears, as well as his banister and light fixture by the basement staircase broken.
Shrugging, ME went into his kitchen and became making pancakes.

Zexy was awakened by the aroma of the pancakes, and stumbled into the kitchen, where his host had a large stack of flapjacks in front of him, and another large stack of flapjacks set up for Zexy.
"Good morning!" said the engineer, cheerfully.
Zexy grumbled out a good morning and inquired about coffee.
"Never drink the stuff," said ME, shaking his head, "bad for my stomach."
ME and Zexy sat in silence for a few moments, eating the pancakes, before ME abruptly stopped, fork part of the way toward his mouth.
"Sorry for asking, but what, exactly, are you doing here?" asked the mad scientist.
"...do you not remember last night at all?" queried Zexy, curiously.
"I most certainly do," exclaimed ME, affronted, "I remember the speech I composed for my upcoming promotion."
Zexy facepalmed and the subject was dropped.

After finishing their flapjacks, ME drove Zexy home and headed over to the Town Hall, where he was greeted by the Head Administrator herself, Shiny Celebi, who had arrived with TM28 to oversee and conduct the promotion ceremony.
Shortly thereafter, the other F&G staff members, including Zexy who had changed and was toting a large coffee, also arrived, and the group took their positions on the stage.

At precisely 9:30, the front doors opened, and the regular users began filing in, chatting amongst themselves. Some were excited about the assembly, others were apprehensive, and still others were angry.

At 10:00, Shiny Celebi stepped up to the podium.
"Your attention, please," said the Head Administrator, silencing the murmurs in the crowd, "as you all know, a few days ago, Enzap, the former Section Head of the Fun and Games section, was caught trolling and was banned. Since then the spambot attacks on regular users have not stopped, and, unfortunately, Fun and Games is without a leader."
The assembled users nodded and once again began whispering to each other.
"To that end," continued SC, "the Fun and Games staff members, as well as the administrators have decided on a new Section Head, who will help guide us back to better times."
More mumbling occurred in the crowd, as the users wondered who had been nominated. The admin turned to look behind her, where the other staff members were seated.
"Maniacal Engineer, please step forward," she said.
The mad scientist arose to thundering applause, as he walked over to the Head Administrator. TM28 joined them, holding a copy of the Bulbagarden Forum rules.
"Place your right hand here," said TM28, instructing ME to lay his hand on the rulebook.
ME complied.
"Do you solemnly swear to uphold the rules of Bulbagarden, and to care for and protect the users and your fellow staff members of Bulbagarden so help you Lord Helix?"
"I do," affirmed ME.
"Then by the will of Archaic, the gaze of Arceus, and the wisdom of the Helix , I now hereby officially promote you to Section Head of the Fun and Games section, as well as to the rank of Super Moderator."

TM28 took off ME's Moderator badge, and replaced it with the Super Moderator badge, and also pinned on the Section Head badge.
"Congratulations," said the admin, smiling.

Newly emboldened, ME stepped up to the podium, as the admins sat down.
"My friends," he said, glancing around the room at the eager, amused, anxious, and angry faces, "I know that this has been a difficult time for all of us. It seems like the Trolls are unstoppable, and Enzap's betrayal has hit all of us hard. Enzap was my friend, my mentor, and one of the very few people that I looked up to, but he took that trust, and he took that friendship, and he threw it all away, and that hurts. A lot."
He sighed and gazed into the crowd.
"I'll be honest with you all, I did not want this job," continued the madman, "but I accepted the promotion, not for myself, but for all of you. At times like this, people look to their leaders for guidance and for support, and I promise you all that I will dedicate all of my new power, all of my cunning, and all of my technological terrors toward stopping these attacks and banning the Trolls once and for all. And I will not rest until those users who were attacked by the spambots have been brought back and restored to us."
He paused for a moment, his words hanging in the air briefly.
"They say that great men are forged by fire, and I was forged in the great Flame Wars at the dawn of the Internet. I was a Troll for many years, even on this forum for a while. My regret for all the terrible things that I have done is sincere and heartfelt, and I will not let the Trolls come along and ruin this wonderful forum. We should all be proud of the Fun and Games section. It was a place where anybody could come, relax, and have a good time. My goal is straightforward. I will restore the Fun and Games section to its former glory, before these insidious attacks began, and I will find who's responsible for committing them, and, believe me, they will burn."
The crowd erupted into applause at the new Section Head's words of comfort, sympathy, encouragement, and remorse. Meanwhile, Zexy, still sitting on the stage with the other staff members, was stunned.
"I'll be damned," he thought, noticing how ME wasn't reading from a script or a teleprompter, "he really was composing a speech last night."
ME raised his hand in acknowledgement of the applause, and, immediately, silence reigned.
"There is much work to be done," he concluded, "and so I will get right to it."
With that, Maniacal Engineer turned around 180 degrees and walked out of the room.
Following the Super Mod's lead, the other staff members departed, and the regular users began filing out, all while chatting among themselves at the latest developments.

Sitting in his office at the top of the Troll Tower, jackatlasred was watching a recap of the promotion ceremony, a bowl of spam on his lap that he would occasionally munch from.
"I will find who's responsible for committing them, and, believe me, they will burn," said ME's image on the main screen.
jack laughed darkly.
"You know, ME, I almost believe you," he said, "almost."

 

[Maniacal Engineer]

Bonus Scene 5: Last Laugh of the Maniac

Maniacal Engineer stood over the remains of Zexy's account, blood seeping from various scrapes and bruises. Scores of Zexy Zombies lay scattered around the scene, each impaled by several knives. His head pounding, ME took several deep breaths to calm himself down. The room was spinning. ME reached into his trench coat for his emergency whiskey and pulled out a bottle of Maker's Mark. He chugged straight from the bottle.
Having calmed his nerves, ME staggered out of the lounge, limping slightly.
"You put up a good fight, my young padawan," he said, glancing back at the fallen moderator, "I'll give you credit for that."
As he departed, ME alighted the lounge on fire, and walked off into the night as the building was consumed by flames.

The following morning, Maniacal Engineer had a meeting with Shiny Celebi, who was checking to see if ME was adjusting to his new position and to determine progress on the campaign against the Trolls.
Arriving half an hour early, the Head Administrator was surprised to find the new Section Head already in his office, a glass of Hibiki Suntory whiskey in his left hand, and a copy of that morning's briefings in his right hand. He looked a little rough around the edges, as though he wasn't getting any sleep.
On seeing the admin, he immediately rose and greeted her cheerfully. At a closer glance, Shiny Celebi noticed that ME's hair was graying faster than it had already been and that dark circles had formed under his eyes.
"Please take a seat," said the Super Mod, gesturing to the seat on the opposite side of his desk. The two sat as ME picked up the briefing once more, and continued scanning it. His brow furrowed.
"ME, are you getting enough sleep?" asked the admin, concerned.
"There was a fire at the RM lounge last night," he remarked, changing the subject.
"ME, don't burn yourself out dealing with this Troll situation," said Shiny Celebi, firmly, "your health and safety come first."
"I'll be fine," demurred the madman, "after this is over, I intend to step down and let the rightful Section Head take over."
"We chose you," said the admin, "by definition, that makes you the rightful Section Head, and it wasn't intended to be just for this situation."
ME shook his head.
"We can talk about this later," he said, "in the meantime, there is work to do."
"Very well," said SC, although she was still concerned.
At that moment, TheCapsFan rushed into the office. Seeing the Head Administrator, he breathed a sigh of relief.
"Shiny Celebi," he said, still breathing heavily from his rush, "can I borrow you for a second?"
Confused, the admin followed the insistent moderator out of ME's office. Caps led her into his own office and shut the door.
"What's this all about?" demanded the admin, "you interrupted my meeting with your Section Head."
"I apologize, SC," said Caps, "but this was an emergency."
"Oh?" asked the Head Admin, intrigued.
"I was looking through the charred remains of the RM lounge, and I found several burnt bodies," reported the youngest F&G mod, "the bodies were all identical, and Zexy hasn't come in yet today."
"So you think that the fire was an attack on Zexy by the Trolls?" inquired the admin.
"No," said Caps, shaking his head, "the fire was a cover up. The bodies were dead before they were burned. According to returnofMCH, the cause of death was repeated stabbing and Knock, Knock jokes."
"Knock, Knock jokes?" asked Shiny Celebi, putting two and two together, "then that would mean..."
"Exactly," confirmed Caps, nodding, "that's why I had to get you out of there."
"I understand," said the admin, "thanks for the information. The admins will take it from here."
Shiny Celebi exited from TheCapsFan's office and headed back into ME's office.
The corrupt Section Head was still gazing over the morning briefing and sipping his whiskey.
The Head Administrator leaned over the Super Mod, getting his attention.
"It's over, ME," said Shiny Celebi, "you were caught killing Zexy last night."
ME raised his eyebrow and set down his drink slowly.
"Over?" he said laughing, "you think this is over? My dear Shiny Celebi, it hasn't even begun yet!"
Shiny Celebi pulled out the banhammer and swung it at the insane engineer. The deadly weapon passed right through the corrupted Section Head.
"A hologram," thought the admin, "he must have realized that he'd been caught and fled while I was talking to Caps."

Suddenly, all the monitors in the F&G Administration building turned on. Throughout the Fun & Games Section, all televisions, computers, and cellphones began broadcasting the same message, Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give You Up was played in stereo.

Mass panic ensued throughout the section, as the confused users stared at their screens in shock. After the song was finished, it was replaced by an image of Maniacal Engineer.
"I am Maniacal Engineer," the image said, in a loud booming voice, "and I am the greatest Troll of all Times. Alas, I have been caught once more, but I refuse to go down without a fight. I will see this section go down in flames, and I will have revenge for all my Troll brethren."
The Troll held up a trigger.
"I have here a trigger, hardwired into several thousand spambots that have been laying dormant in the section," explained the trollish mastermind, "when I push this button, the spambots will activate, spouting out nonsense and consuming this entire section in spam and flames. It's over. I've won."
Maniacal Engineer laughed sinisterly.

Meanwhile, Shiny Celebi had summoned the other administrators, and they were searching the F&G administration building, along with Scarlet Sky and TheCapsFan.
Looking through ME's old office, TM28 discovered a secret switch hidden underneath a movie poster for Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back. Pushing the switch, a mysterious staircase appeared, heading downward.
Not wanting to alert the Troll of his discovery, TM28 quickly messaged the others to let them know what he had found. Quickly, they gathered in ME's office and began descending the staircase.

"It's over," they heard, echoing off the walls as they continued down the stairs, "I've won."
ME's evil laugh chilled their bones, but fueled their determination, as they charged down to the bottom of the winding staircase and burst into a recording studio. The camera was aimed at Maniacal Engineer, who was sitting with the trigger in one hand, and his glass of Hibiki in the other.
His laughter cut off abruptly, as he noticed the arrival of the staff members.
"Hold it!" he demanded, displaying the trigger, "one step closer, and I'll have this section consumed in flames."
The staffers hesitated, unsure how to proceed. As the stalemate continued, ME stared into the camera.
"You see?" he said to the masses, "not even the staff members can stop ME!"

Suddenly, the engineer's confident smirk turned into a grimace. Pain coursed through his body, as he dropped both his glass of whiskey and the detonator.
Instantly, Hanzo in Plain Sight rushed forward and grabbed the detonator, while Shiny Celebi pulled out the banhammer and flattened the convulsing Troll with it.
As his account disintegrated into nothing, ME began coughing up blood.
"I-I don't understand," were his final words, as he disappeared.

Curious, Hanzo stared at the detonator in his hand. Shrugging his pushed the button.
"What are you-?" began Sky, but was cut off as the detonator emitted a small banner that said "Bang!"
Hanzo chuckled slightly.
"He was bluffing the whole time," the Deputy Head Administrator said, "his last laugh..."