TEEN: The Long Walk

[Beth Pavell]

@kintsugi: The problem with Gym Leaders is deciding how elite to make them. Obviously they can't be pushovers, but if they're too skilled it also makes planning a defeat for them that much more awkward. It's for that reason that I decided to make Falkner's planning his fatal flaw. I suppose I could have had the crowd comment on it ... only problem is where to put it. I'm not completely satisfied with Josh explaining it as straight exposition as it is

I do have a reason for the gender-specific tourney, believe me. SEXISM! No, not really, it's a better reason than that.

 

[Beth Pavell]

Chapter Nineteen – Moonlight, Electric Night (Version 1.0)

Evelina​

Eve's boat rocked gently on the ocean waves. The atmosphere would be quite peaceful, if it weren't for the damn wingull. There was one sitting in the bow with a trumpet for a beak, madly tootling a jazzy tune with a lot of bum notes.

“Hey, wake up,” it said in Josh's voice.

Eve awoke to Josh shaking her. The train slowed as it pulled into the station. She hauled herself up off his chest, yawned expansively, and tried to blink the sleep out of her eyes.

“Now arriving at, Goldenrod Royal Station. Time of arrival, eleven fifty-seven pee-em.”

They swung on their backpacks and headed for the doors as the train pulled up to the station. Eve was beginning to get that tired, lived-in feeling from wearing the same clothes for fifteen hours. Josh was trying to massage his own shoulder.

“How long was I asleep?” Eve asked him, stepping out onto the chilly platform. A crowd of people pushed past to board just as a crowd of people pushed past to disembark.

“About half an hour,” Josh replied. “I don't mind.”

Goldenrod Royal Station was as busy at midnight as Cherrygrove Central was at midday. The huge main concourse buzzed with activity - people hurrying down the escalators to the platforms, clustering around the departure boards, queuing up in front of the ticket windows. The station itself was well over a hundred years old, a stately red-brick building in the grandiose Neo-Gothic style. From outside the station, Eve surveyed the city with curious eyes, all tiredness forgotten. Goldenrod City was big, bright, vibrant, a skyline of skyscrapers and electric constellations. The crescent moon, thin and sharp as a nail paring, peeped out from between the towers. Behind them, the antique clock set above the station's main entrance clanged out quarter-past midnight.

Since it was late, Josh let Fionn out of her Love Ball for a while. The station was fronted by an airy plaza, with an equally wide flight of steps down to a second plaza; from there a second flight turned right and descended to street level. Fionn zigzagged around aimlessly, randomly fading in and out of sight. Occasionally she tried to sneak up on someone to scream at them – Josh snapped at her each time, and she desisted sulkily.

They headed north along Broad Street towards the metro station, passing by bars and late night bistros. The street at midnight was lively, bustling. Eve skirted a clowder of drunk girls wearing cat ears – one of them hissed at her – and automatically nodded to a Jenny on duty. She resisted the temptation to check out a jazz club, the cool sounds of a saxophone curling out into the street. She looked about the street again – bars, bistros, a cinema, love hotel, restaurants – where the hell is that metro station?

“Josh, you've got a better head for direction. Which -”

Josh had disappeared. She found him about thirty yards back, enchanted by a busking violinist. The girl had next to no charisma; Eve had walked past the first time without noticing her. Ah, but the music … the liquid music emanating from her violin lilted like birdsong, high sweet notes rippling down and back to a soaring height, like a shower of sound with the sudden energy of a spring rain. For some reason Eve was reminded of green fields beneath blue skies, on long, hot August afternoons.

Fionn was snuggled down in her trainer's arms, just as captivated as he was, watching the violin with wide, childish eyes. The last few slow, sweet notes faded into the buzz of the street.

Like he was waking up from a dream, Josh drew out his wallet and threw a ten dollar note into the girl's violin case. She looked at him like she was simultaneously surprised she had an audience and astonished that she got such a large tip.

“A damn near perfect performance of The Lark Ascending,” Josh explained.

“Well, at least that was a courteous line, you rake,” she said sceptically.

“It's never a line with him,” Eve said, winking at him.

The girl gave Josh a sidelong look with shrewd, electric green eyes. “I think I'll believe that,” she said with a shy giggle. “I take requests?”

“Clair de Lune?” Josh suggested.

“A romantic, I see. I like that quality in a man …”

“You were so in,” Eve teased later, as they walked on down the street. “Are you sure you don't want to do her?”

“Aren't you supportive – Fionn!” he yelled. His misdreavus pulled a face and slunk away from the person she was about to startle. “Return, you. Learn to behave yourself.”

“I'm hungry,” Eve announced.

“Sleep and eat,” Josh said. “Simple creature, aren't you Eevee?”

“Oh, shut up,” Eve said. “Come on, let's find something to eat.”

“I think I can smell something grilling over there,” Josh said. On the other side of the street there was a small square, bounded on one side by a church, and serendipitously by the metro station on the other. There was a food stand set up on the square, the temporary kind with rows of tall stools down the sides.

Eve dumped her backpack by a stool and hopped up, attracted by the inviting smell of grilling meat. Opposite, the local priest looked up from his gammon steak and gave them a friendly nod. Josh nodded back as he sat down.

“What can I get you,” asked the stall cook, a middle-aged black man with skin like old leather and a cigarette-roughened voice.

“What've you got?” Eve replied.

“Best steak 'n' eggs in Gol'unrod. Five dollars.”

“Sounds good.”

“Make that two,” Josh said.

“You fellas just arrived?” the cook asked. “How'd you like 'em?”

“Medium rare. What gave us away?” Eve said sardonically.

“Medium, nice and pink.”

The cook laughed a sandpapery, old man laugh. “Little more feisty than the gals in the Centre,” he stated. “Eggs?”

“Half hard, half soft. Eve has hers runny,” Josh broke in. Eve scowled at him out of habit. “You here every night?” he continued.

“Not from Friday,” the cook replied, cracking eggs into a skillet. “Got me a spot at the Park for the festival. How 'bout a beer to send it down.”

“Couple of Anistars,” Eve said. “What festival is this?”

To Eve's delight it transpired that they'd arrived in time for the annual Hoenn Festival. The Festival was to be held in National Park over the next week – a week of battles, games, dances and fireworks. The cook handed over their steaks and shamelessly lit a cigarette. “Enjoy 'em, fellas. So how's it goin' now Reverend …”

Eve hacked off a large chunk of meat and looked up at the metro station on the other side of the square. There was a digital bulletin board beneath the station name plate, displaying the latest departure times. On the main lines the Goldenrod L ran nearly twenty-four hours a day – as she watched an L-train crossed the road on an elevated track and entered the station. She savoured the mouthful of steak for a moment and made a contented little noise. Warm steak, rich yolk, cold beer, oh my, she thought, watching Josh trimming away fat.

“So. Where are we staying, city girl,” he asked.

“The great Millennium Centre,” Eve declared. “Largest single Pokémon Centre in the Empire.”

“Millennium Centre,” Josh repeated. “Why that behemoth?”

Eve flapped a hand vaguely in a 'In a minute' kind of way, and applied herself zealously to her steak for a while. “Because, dear Josh, of two reasons. One, Millennium Centre has some twin rooms, so we'll have privacy from other trainers. And two, Millennium Centre is big. Too big and too busy for any Joy to have the time to keep tabs on us.”

Josh carefully excised a yolk from the surrounding white. “Cunning girl,” he said, and popped the yolk into his mouth, whole and unbroken. “Rush of yolk all at once. Glorious,” he said indistinctly.

“Don't you forget it. And that's heresy. Yolk on steak is the one true dinner.”

*
​

Goldenrod City never really slept. On Penrose Street, on the north side of Trinity Bridge, the lights were on and the doors open at Millennium Centre. The buildings weren't quite so high here, merely looming instead of towering. Many of them were ageing, grandiose edifices interspersed with contemporary developments – the newly renovated metro station, the apartment blocks down by the river, Millennium Centre.

Eve and Josh weren't the only trainers heading to the Centre at this time of night. Not all of them were sober; some drunken teenager kept hitting on her, apparently under the belief that obstinacy was charming. After the third ignored brush-off, Eve saw red. His friends took umbrage to that and released their pokémon – a mankey and a gastly. For once Josh was quicker on the draw with Fionn and defeated them both handily.

“I'm surprised they backed down so easily,” he said afterwards, cuddling a happy misdreavus to his cheek.

Probably because they saw the six inch knife you keep in your jacket, thought Eve, but she said nothing.

'Behemoth' was a pretty good adjective to attach to Millennium Centre; a tall, brick-shaped building, the goose grey façade and distinctive red roof standing out from the buildings to either side. About a third of the way up, a huge digital billboard displayed a Centre bulletin, in short summarising how busy the Centre was. It also showed the names of the nurses in residence. Dr Jocasta Joy MPD, primary. Esmeralda Joy, secondary. Edith Joy, resident surgeon.

Two sets of double automatic doors formed the main entrance, surmounted by a P-and-Poké Ball stencil design. Inside, the atrium was an airy, two storey tall space. Superlatives attached themselves easily to Millennium Centre. To Eve's eyes it was very much like home, but built to a much grander scale – the colour scheme was the familiar eggshell white walls and pale yellow flooring, red counters and fittings, a long front desk at the far side beneath another bulletin board.

Eve recognised both the Joys on duty. There wasn't a Joy in Johto who wouldn't know Edith by sight, the surgeon-in-residence at the second most prestigious Pokémon Centre in the region. The other Joy was unfortunately familiar as well – she wasn't yet a full nurse, instead wearing the sleeveless pink dress of an orderly. A senior orderly. Riley had a slight superior smirk on her face, the little bitch.

Riley wasn't a Goldenrod girl. She was from New Barkshire; she and Eve often met at family gatherings. Riley loved to know things, which meant that she was stubbornly studious, but also highly arrogant and nosy. Landing an internship here had done nothing to improve her personality.

An escalator off to the right led up to a glass-fronted balcony that ran around three sides of the atrium. Opposite, on the left, was the doorway through to the cafeteria. At the back wall was the sign-in desk, and the way to their room for the next few weeks.

*​

“I take it you haven't run into Riley this morning,” Aunt Immey said.

“And why do you say that?”

“Because you're still in a fairly good mood.”

Immey giggled at Eve's automatic exasperated sigh. Morning had brought a late breakfast in the cafeteria; for Eve, it had also brought a call from home. She was seated at one of the video phone bays at the back of the cafeteria, trying to finish an almond croissant and talk at the same time.

“So, do you have any advice?” Eve said, trying to steer the conversation back on track.

“No,” Immey said bluntly. “You're good enough.”

“But -”

“But me no buts,” Immey gave her an encouraging smile. “You go and be the first Joy to win that tourney.”

A wistful look crossed her face. “I met Pemberton once, at University. She could sweep you up into the way she saw things. You felt like you could defy stereotypes, too.”

Eve said nothing, her mouth full of pastry. She knew the tourney history. Forty years ago there were hardly any elite women pokémon trainers. It never occurred to most girls that they could be elite pokémon trainers. Then Victoria Pemberton smashed the stereotype, and became the first woman to be crowned Imperial Champion, the winner of all four regional tournaments; Johto, Kanto, Hoenn, Sinnoh. After she'd attained the title Pemberton established the Tigerlily Tourney to pass on her determination and verve.

“Can you mail me my laptop?” Eve said. “I'm going to need it.”

“Yes. Provided you introduce me. I'm not going to bite him!” Immey gently mocked. Eve narrowed her eyes sceptically. Her aunt's face was a picture of innocence. Immey's by far the least gossipy, I suppose.

Josh was hovering just out of earshot, working his way down a mug of that horrible battery-acid coffee he liked. She beckoned him over with the stub of her croissant. Josh gave the phone's screen a wary look – Eve belatedly remembered that he still had trouble telling her relatives apart, even out of uniform.

“This is my Aunt Immey,” Eve said quickly.

“Oh! Dr Joy,” Josh said amicably. “I have a copy of your book.”

“I hope it's been useful,” Immey said sweetly. Her voice suddenly turned cold and sharp, “Are you trying to fuck my niece?”

“Auntie!” Eve scolded, over the spluttering of Josh choking on his coffee and her aunt's delighted laughter.

“I … that is …” Josh managed between coughs.

Immey subsided, wiping tears from the corners of her eyes. “Oh, relax!” she told him. “I know what you did in the Ilex Deepwoods.”

Josh rounded on Eve in annoyance. “I told Mum. To try and get her off your back,” she said defensively.

“That's not a story to be ashamed of,” Immey said. “A young man who can see past cute titties, that's quite rare.”

Josh went icily quiet for a moment. “Well, I think I could do with another coffee. Pleased to meet you, Dr Joy.”

“He's got you pegged,” Eve said, watching him walk away.

“Spoiled all my fun,” Immey said mildly. “So what are you going to do in the Sunshine City?”

“Today? We're going to the shrine in a while. Then there's the Hoenn Festival next week.”

“Mmn. One small shred of advice, then. Move Tutors! You need to diversify,” Immey gave her one of her shrewd looks. “You still haven't said who your tourney partner is.”

“No, I haven't,” Eve said innocently. “Leave it alone, Aunty.”

*​

The Great Shrine of Rhia Victoria lay screened off from the road by an evergreen cypress hedge. The shrine gate pierced the green wall on the southern side. Auxiliary shrines dedicated to Rhia's Fourteen Followers lined the approach to the drum-shaped oratory, the elegantly simple brick dome peering up over the trees. Eve bowed at the shrine gate. They were well acquainted, Eve having visited her shrine in Cherrygrove City many times, but Rhia of Victory was a proud spirit, and prickly about her honour.

Josh didn't bother bowing. He never did.

“Hey Josh!” she called, jogging to catch up. “I've been wondering about something.”

“Hm.”

“What changed your mind?”

“I'm not sure,” Josh said after a moment's thought. “I think it was when you started trying to out-cheer the crowd during my Gym battle. Besides … I know what it's like. To want to prove a point.”

Inside the oratory, the circular hall was dominated by a marble statue of Rhia Victoria – naked in contempt for the weapons of the enemy, staring defiantly up at the foe. Rhia of Victory needed no armour. In both hands she held an iron spear, aimed squarely at the heart of her imaginary foe.

Eve paid her respects to Rhia, leaving a fairly large offering this time. I'm only asking for an edge. Just an edge. Afterwards she bought a charm to hang from her gilet zipper, just in case.

Josh wasn't lurking by the entrance like she thought he would be. He was confronting Rhia's statue, looking blackly up at her like she'd personally insulted him. Oh, no. Please don't annoy her. The set of his jawline suggested he was gritting his teeth. To her surprise, Josh bowed – stiffly and none too deeply, but bowed nonetheless. He prayed for a while, still with a black look on his face. It occurred to Eve that she'd never seen him so much as nod at a roadside hokora, much less pray to a spirit of any kind.

“You ready?” Josh said with forced insouciance.

“I've … never seen you pray before,” Eve said.

“I don't usually,” he said evasively. “I didn't do it for me.”

Next Chapter: Oddling Townie

 

[Sike Saner]

Putting me off seafood is, for the record, hard mode. :B

Ok, time to read...

Occasionally she tried to sneak up on someone to scream at them – Josh snapped at her each time, and she desisted sulkily.

Aww, let her have one, at least.

“I'm hungry,” Eve announced.

“Sleep and eat,” Josh said. “Simple creature, aren't you Eevee?”

“Oh, shut up,” Eve said. “Come on, let's find something to eat.”

You know, if you'd let your little ghost friend scare the right pers--wait, no, that's frowned upon.

“I hope it's been useful,” Immey said sweetly. Her voice suddenly turned cold and sharp, “Are you trying to fuck my niece?”

“Auntie!” Eve scolded, over the spluttering of Josh choking on his coffee and her aunt's delighted laughter.

Shit, I practically choked on coffee and I don't even have any.

 

[Flaze]

The chapter itself was short but only technically...I think it served more as a break chapter to kind of connect both the last one and this one, I guess that's not bad since the last arc had a lot of battles and action to it. I didn't notice any big grammar mistakes but there were a couple of sentences that didn't sound quite right, mostly a couple of lines durig the dialogues itself.

You actually managed to get a few pieces of foreshadowing in this chapter which I think were done pretty well. Explaining a bit more on the league's past as well as the past of the general world of the fic was something that hadn't been done as much lately, so it's nice to learn more about the background of the world the characters in.

Other than that things were back to their usual, the description for the surroundings and Josh's and Eve's interactions were what stood out the most, along with the talk with aunt Immey. She's really bold though, I mean instantly asking if Josh wants to have sex with Eve and all, but it's alway sfun to see Josh get teased at the end of the day.

Essentially this is the start of an important arc in Eve's character so I expect to see some more chapters in her point of viewe, this one was a good way to start it off but I'm itching to see what the actual tournament will bring out for her character.

 

[AetherX]

GOLDENROD HYPE

sorry I had to

 

[kintsugi]

The obligatory new-city worldbuilding chapter, but this was pretty nice. A lovely exploration of the town, trees, some steak and eggs with a side of sex jokes and innuendo. Lol soft and hard help I'm dying. Also, the "are you trying to fuck my niece" was some quality blunt questioning that, alas, does not actually answer the question that we all wish were answered.

“Medium rare. What gave us away?” Eve said sardonically.

“Medium, nice and pink.”

The cook laughed a sandpapery, old man laugh. “Little more feisty than the gals in the Centre,” he stated. “Eggs?”

Grammar nit-pick, I found this a bit hard to follow just because Josh's interjection (the nice and pink medium) isn't attributed to him, and then the shopkeeper kind of just jumps back to Eve's conversational line, and I really only follow linear talking sometimes, um.

That being said, this was a pretty short chapter in terms of content. I liked the quiet moments; that's basically why we're all here, so I certainly can't complain, although I also can't talk about all of the mind-blowing plot-twists and action that happened here, nor am I a good expert on what constitutes nice worldbuilding. I can say, however, that the nice touches like the street vendor and his world's best was very realistic, even if the food porn is starting to get a little repetitive as it keeps coming up.

Also, seriously, food porn.

“Half hard, half soft."

YEAH THE LONG COCK DEFINITELY IS.

Eve has hers runny

THIS IS PROBABLY ALSO SOMETHING

She savoured the mouthful of steak for a moment and made a contented little noise.

EVE IS EATING MEAT

“Cunning girl,” he said, and popped the yolk into his mouth, whole and unbroken.

THE USE OF THE WORD "CUNNING" IS WAAAAAY TOO COINCIDENTALLY LIKE ANOTHER WORD THAT DEFINITELY FITS THIS BETTER. ALSO, EATING HIDDEN GEMS THAT ARE PREVIOUSLY UNBROKEN AND OH GOD STOP

okay done

Eve said nothing, her mouth full of pastry. She knew the tourney history. Forty years ago there were hardly any elite women pokémon trainers. It never occurred to most girls that they could be elite pokémon trainers. Then Victoria Pemberton smashed the stereotype, and became the first woman to be crowned Imperial Champion, the winner of all four regional tournaments; Johto, Kanto, Hoenn, Sinnoh. After she'd attained the title Pemberton established the Tigerlily Tourney to pass on her determination and verve.

I am surprisingly okay with this explanation.

A little thing I was confused/interested on was the mixture of religions you've got here--Rhia Victoria seems distinctly Roman-ish, and we had some Shinto stuff back in Ilex. Is the religion of choice based on region of Johto, and how did such vastly different religions develop in parts of a country that still calls itself a country (or a region, at least) in areas that are within walking distance of one another? Is there some sort of fusion of the two elsewhere, or maybe there's a spirit shrine elsewhere here that Josh and friends just haven't visited?

Also, magnet trains. All hail magnet trains.

Overall, solid but uneventful chapter. Pretty much in line with your usual stuff, which is excellent quality, so I'm certainly not complaining.

 

[diamondpearl876]

The atmosphere would be quite peaceful, if it weren't for the damn wingull. There was one sitting in the bow with a trumpet for a beak, madly tootling a jazzy tune with a lot of bum notes.

Gotta admit, this made me laugh already. Love the wording.

From outside the station, Eve surveyed the city with curious eyes, all tiredness forgotten. Goldenrod City was big, bright, vibrant, a skyline of skyscrapers and electric constellations. The crescent moon, thin and sharp as a nail paring, peeped out from between the towers. Behind them, the antique clock set above the station's main entrance clanged out quarter-past midnight.

The first half of the paragraph impressed me, but the latter half even more so. Teach me the ways of description, Senpai? "Electric constellations" sounds a bit more poetic than what you usually write, though, if that matters

The street at midnight was lively, bustling.

I didn't see a need for this sentence, actually - you've already established this fact pretty well

Ah, but the the music …

One too many "the"s there, my dear

“Aren't you supportive – Fionn!” he yelled. His misdreavus pulled a face and slunk away from the person she was about to startle. “Return, you. Learn to behave yourself.”

“I'm hungry,” Eve announced.

Not much of a transition there, but I too am known to announce my state of hunger at random times

“I take it you haven't run into Riley this morning,” Aunt Immey said.

“And why do you say that?”

“Because you're still in a fairly good mood.”

Heh, Eve should have seen an answer like that coming.

“That's not a story to be ashamed of,” Immey said. “A young man who can see past cute titties, that's quite rare.”

TRYING SO HARD NOT TO LAUGH AT WORK it's not working

“No, I haven't,” Eve said innocently, “Leave it alone, Aunty.”

Liked this piece of dialogue in particular for some reason - probably because of how devious it is, really

“I don't usually,” he said evasively, “I didn't do it for me.”

And as usual, you take my heart and stomp on it with these two

 

[Beth Pavell]

@Sike Saner: I'm glad Imogen's joke had the desired effect. It's one of those concepts that work better when animated with voice actors - I had to somehow make it a surprise even with the very brief telegraphing of her change in tone of voice

@Flaze: Yes, this is really a chapter setting up Goldenrod and starting to set the scene for the Tigerlily Tourney. In terms of wordcount I seem to recall that it comes to just over 3,000, so not terribly short, but certainly shorter than usual. Immey's idea of fun is embarrassing young men. I imagine her as that kind of ghastly sex-positive aunt who takes amusement from how she can easily embarrass anyone younger than her. Including by passing judgement on her niece's body

And no, @kintsugi, surely you didn't think I'd answer that question all so simply? No comment With the food, yes, I suppose you have a point. I plan on scaling back the detailed descriptions of food a bit, though I intend for it to feature still. Food is just too useful to anchor a conversation on! And hell, with a festival arc you've got to have something.

Now in terms of religion, I should do an Atlas on it, but here's the short version. The religion is essentially Shinto with a "Western" veneer over the top of it. Most of the essential elements of the religion are the same, though some of the trappings are different - so far as I know most Shinto shrines are essentially outdoor, for instance. Rhia Victoria is a fairly generic victory and conflict spirit. "Victoria" is obviously derived from the Roman goddess and connotes simply with "victory". "Rhia" is a made-up name supposed to sound vaguely Celtic, again to try and put a "Western" feel on it.

@diamondpearl876: The silliness of the Wingull is probably my favourite bit. But hey, you know how much of a bitch it was for me to get the descriptions for the city right.

 

[Beth Pavell]

Spoiler: Version History

1.1 : "Saturday" is now "Esteday"
1.2 : Eve now agrees to keep talking to Josh mid-battle, instead of agreeing to scope out opponents.
Josh's argument with his dad is told in summary.
Josh and Eve's argument is less fierce. Neither apologies to the other. Greater emphasis on Josh's resentment towards her family in the last scene.
Removed Second Year Rhapsody crossover.
Greater emphasis on the Tigerlilies in the last scene.

Chapter Twenty – Oddling Townie (Version 1.2)

Joshua​

National Park hummed with the noise and activity of the Hoenn Festival, gently warming in the glad spring sunshine. It was Esteday afternoon, and the smell of the morning's rain was rising off the turf. The mountainous heights of cumulus clouds floated in the blue sky, shining bright white and threatening more showers later. The wide green spaces of the park were, to Josh's mind, a welcome break from the towers and bustle of the city. In truth, the park was surrounded by the city, west, east, and south. Route 35, coming up to meet it from the south, opened onto a spacious plaza paved in golden-brown brickwork. Countless colourful stands, stalls and tents crowded the area, except near the centre of the plaza where a wide space had been left clear.

North of the plaza was the main body of the park – one thousand acres of parkland, the landscape describing the rough shape of a Poké Ball, the wide space of Fountain Court in the centre, the Hundred Acre Wood near to the Pokéathlon Dome, Landau open-air theatre. A shallow river wound through the park, its banks lined with blossoming cheri trees and strewn with festival-goer's tents.

Josh emerged from his tent and sighed. Goldenrod City wasn't doing much to endear itself to him. National Park was greener and calmer than the city, but to his eye it was obviously a work of urban design. The River Inglebeck flowed lazily by in its tidy channel, sparkling cheerily in the sun. Ivysaur was lying flat on his stomach, quietly photosynthesising. “Keep an eye on the tent, will you, bud?” Josh said. Ivysaur just grunted in return.

Eve was sitting on the riverbank, wearing a fairly modest purple bikini, dangling her legs into the water. She turned round at the sound of his footsteps on the grass, and immediately gave him an odd look.

“What?” Josh said defensively.

“A wetsuit. That's the swimwear you had mailed over?” Eve said.

“It's what I own,” he said bluntly. That was half-true; the nondescript charcoal-grey wetsuit was the legacy of an abortive attempt at windsurfing. Swimming in the river was Eve's idea, of course. He followed her somewhat mournfully as she splashed happily out into the middle of the beck. The water was waist high and still rather tepid despite the warm weather; the riverbed beneath their toes was fine and sandy.

Eve stretched, and shivered pleasantly. She gave him a mischievous look and took on a faux-boxing stance. “Hey, you! Let's fight!”

“No!”

“Oh, come on, wrestle me! What's the matter, afraid of getting your ass kicked by a girl?”

“A stronger girl than me,” Josh said, haughtily turning away. Eve's bikini was making him nervy and he was damned if he was going to be putting his hands on her.

“Anyway,” he said, turning back around. Eve had somehow vanished.

“Eve?” he said, slowly, suspiciously.

“Yaaah!”

Eve surfaced like an angry pink gyarados, teeth bared in a snarl, hands curled into claws. Seizing him round the middle, Eve bore him into the river with an almighty splash and made a spirited attempt at drowning him. Water clanged in his ears – his roar of fury emerged as an indistinct burble. As soon as he managed to stand he tried to shove Eve underwater by her head. She slipped out from under his palm and tackled him again.

It didn't take long for them to be wrestling in earnest, splashing and giggling like children. Josh sneakily tripped Eve and sent her falling back into the river with a shriek. There was a complicated moment as Josh seized his chance and his friend – he held on with difficulty as Eve thrashed and wriggled and snarled like a petulant gyarados.

“Hey, hey!” she suddenly yelled. “That's my boob!”

Josh couldn't have let go faster if she'd burst into flames. “Sorry! Sorry Eve! I didn't realise. Sorry,” he babbled, the colour already rising to his cheeks.

“Can't believe you fell for that!” Eve said gleefully, turning and tackling him – or at least, she meant to. Josh stepped smartly aside and unceremoniously shoved her hard into the water.

“Don't. Do that!” he warned.

“What!” Eve complained, wiping her waterlogged eyes. Then she saw his expression of mixed ire and embarrassment. “Oh, I'm sorry,” she said. “I won't pull that trick again. Are we square?”

Josh took a couple of steps towards her, arms open invitingly. Eve leapt forward and smiled – until he snapped his arm round and pushed her back in.
“Now we're square.”

*​

A flygon beat its scintillating wings, drawing an appreciative gasp from its admiring crowd. The buzzing wingbeats sounded eerily like singing. It was late afternoon, and still bright but for the odd light rain shower. Josh ambled aimlessly around the plaza, exploring the festivities. The festival was a kaleidoscope of Hoenn culture – stands selling bacon-and-potato stew, pokéblock cases, leppa dragoncakes, Go-Goggles. Josh found himself gravitating towards the craft stalls. He paused to check out a display of Fallarbor glassware; painted flutes and delicate wind-bells chiming sweet and clear.

“Beautiful,” he commented. “Do you do online orders?”

“I do. I have to with him around,” the glazier said, jerking a thumb at the deep shade of the breeder's tent opposite. A young pyrite sableye stared at Josh disturbingly with its fool's gold eyes. Once it realised he was looking back its goblin-grin widened slightly. Come into the sunlight and grin like that.

There were a fair few breeders at the festival. Josh was sorely tempted by a thunderous grey cumulonimbus swablu, miniature lightning bolts flashing sporadically from their wings. He was just about to buy one when he caught sight of some unfamiliar Grass-types standing on a stall counter top, apparently enjoying the afternoon sun. They were about two feet tall, and humanoid, with leafy tabards and thorny heads. Instead of arms they had flexible stems, bearing a pair of large roses. Each pokémon had differently coloured roses than the others.

“What species are these? I don't recognise them,” Josh asked.

“Roselia. Or Rosa toxicus, if you prefer,” the breeder said, a pleasant-smelling lady in a lilac and white skirt.

“I do,” Josh laughed. “Are these all separate subspecies?”

“These are all R. toxicus cultivars,” she replied. A roselia with pure white flowers blinked serenely at him. There was something vaguely familiar about them.

“That one's Fidelity. A symbol of enduring love,” she continued. “Quite similar to a garden cultivar.”

Josh made a neutral noise, his mind still half-full of thundering swablu. A transparently sly look crossed the breeder's naturally guileless face. “Perhaps you'd like a Royal Glory?” she suggested, gesturing to a patriotically coloured roselia with one rose a rich gold, the other a deep red.

Josh's republican heart rebelled. “I already have a Grass-type on my team,” he said doubtfully. He double-took briefly; the smallest roselia was singing tunelessly and happily waving its stems at him. Its left rose was a brilliant fuchsia shading through to white at the tips of the petals – the right, white shading to fuchsia.

“This little one's my Double Blush. Although I can't help but think of this cultivar as Raspberry Ripple,” she giggled. “You can pick her up if you like.”

Josh gently lifted the roselia, which giggled delightedly in turn. The colour of her flowers really was reminiscent of ice cream. A light, enervating scent rose off the petals, like crushed kingsfoil.

“All my roselia germinate knowing Bullet Seed,” the breeder continued. “Their evolved form, Rosa masquerada, have very high Special Attack and can use the Weather Ball attack.”

The little roselia gave Josh such an adorably innocent smile that he melted rather like ice cream himself. “Aw,” he said helplessly. “Sold. Sold, damn you.”

*​

Josh wandered through the festival towards the sounds of battle, clutching his new roselia seed. The dark brown seed was packed into a tough egg-shaped canister about nine inches tall, half-filled with compost, the top half of the canister clear perspex to let sunlight in. There was a brief flash from up ahead, where a small crowd was gathered around an elevated battlefield.

Eve was standing at the near side, battling with her meowth. Opposite her was one of the Festival trainers in a green apron decorated with a rayquaza silhouette. Her pokémon was a bipedal lizard with a yellow crested head, a tightly coiled tail, and a wide frog-like mouth.

“Go Kecleon!” she shouted. “Water Pulse!”

Kecleon dropped to all fours, opened its huge mouth wide and fired a concave disc of water. Meowth watched it perform the attack intently, leaping high over the Water Pulse at the last moment.

“Slash!” Eve commanded, snapping her fingers. Meowth executed a textbook plunging Slash, unfortunately slashing at thin air as Kecleon rapidly faded into the foreground and slipped aside. For some reason its jagged red belly stripe remained visible, zigzagging unpredictably towards Meowth.

“Damnit, not again!” Eve growled. “Double Team!”

What would have been the real Meowth immediately disappeared, apparently cut apart by Kecleon's claws. There was a burst of appreciative comments from the spectators. Josh could see why – even he was having trouble discerning the real Meowth among the copies. A frenetic duel ensued, almost too fast to follow, Meowth trying to Slash at the chameleonic Kecleon while it swiped wildly at the Double Team. Another Water Pulse swept by; Meowth's retaliatory Slash missed entirely.

Eve was beginning to lose her temper. “Flash it out!” she ordered.

Meowth's charm blazed – Kecleon let out a high-pitched scream and reappeared, its scales rippling a combative red. Meowth was on it in an instant. Watching that maniac assault reminded Josh of why he never liked that furry thug. Out of battle he acted like a rogue with a heart of gold, all déshabille and easy grace, attempting to charm every girl he came across. Give him an opponent, and he became a callous little savage.

Cats, as bad as foxes, he thought sourly. Both trainers recalled their pokémon.

“Alright, let's see what you think of this one,” Green Apron laughed. “Grovyle, I choose you!”

Grovyle was a relatively small, lithe reptile with a spray of long oval leaves sprouting from each wrist and a permanent smirk. Eve scanned it with her Pokédex. “Grovyle, the Wood Gecko Pokémon. It's strongly developed -”

Eve abruptly cut it off, yanking another Poké Ball from her gilet and flourishing it with her toss-expand-catch motion. “It's time. Pineco, you have the honour!”

Hmm. This'll be interesting. Pineco was the only defensive pokémon on Eve's team of speedsters. Josh still hadn't really had a chance to see her in battle. She'd modified her armour, discarding some of the anti-Poké Ball twigs in favour of spongy bark and leaf litter.

“Iron Defence!” Eve called. Grovyle was faster, crossing the field with a blindingly fast Quick Attack. Twigs splintered under the impact – Pineco was thrown off her axis – Josh noticed the metallic flash of Iron Defence appear a second too late. If Pineco was hurt at all she didn't show it, simply hauling herself upright with a silken line.

“Uh, try a Mega Drain!” Green Apron called. There was a coy popping sound. Green bubbles began to pull themselves free of Pineco's body and drift briskly off towards Grovyle.

“Counter that,” Eve said unconcernedly.

“Pineco,” her pokémon said shiftily. She raised her upper armour plates discreetly. Grovyle's eyes widened in alarm -

Boom. A long chitinous spike thudded into the field where Grovyle has been standing just a moment ago. Pineco chased it with a couple more Spike Cannon rounds, a flat bang accompanying each one.

“A Hoenn starter pokémon isn't beaten that easy!” Green Apron yelled to the crowd. “Show them your Leaf Blade!”

The longest leaves on Grovyle's wrists extended and sharpened into a pair of straight, double-edged blades. Won't work. Grovyle crossed the battlefield in two swift bounds, forearms raised. Even if Pineco could have dodged, he doubted she would have bothered. The Leaf Blades slashed down. Pineco didn't seem to care. The attack cut through her outer bark armour but only scratched her chitin. Frustrated, Grovyle danced itself into a blind fury, futilely hacking at Pineco's armour.

“Seize the initiative! Take Down!”

“Dodge it!”

The crowd groaned sympathetically as Pineco collided heavily with Grovyle – its Leaf Blade bent violently out of shape.

“Oh my -”

“End it! Pin Missile!” Eve shouted. With surprising elegance Pineco hopped on the spot and started a Rapid Spin. Before Grovyle could get up she smothered it with a Pin Missile bombardment. Pins snaked out from Pineco's still-spinning body and exploded like crackling gunfire, each one detonating with a puff of acrid smoke.

“That's enough, Pineco,” Eve declared. “We've won.”

From what Josh could see through the haze, Grovyle was conscious but thoroughly shell-shocked. Its trainer looked somewhat shocked himself. Pineco was bouncing up and down, apparently happy to have won.

Green Apron rallied. “So you have. I'd ask for a rematch, but it looks like I have to visit the Pokécentre.”

“That's ok,” Eve said mildly. She turned to the crowd with a certain dramatic flair. “Goldenrod City! I challenge you to battle me. One-on-one! Consecutive battles! Who will beat my Pineco?”

*​

In the end, Eve won three battles in a row. Not for the first time, Josh felt like an amateur next to Eve. She'd taken a slow, patient species and found a way to make it fit her intuitive battle style. Her opponents seemed to be actually unnerved by the concept of a pineco on the offensive. Pineco performed her attacks with an efficient elegance; her projectiles landed precisely where she wanted them to, and usually to the greatest effect.

There were still so many things to see at the festival. They were in a silk mercer's marquee, not far from the battlefield. A radio was on in the background, tuned to one of the local stations. Eve was trying on bandanas, leaving Josh to vaguely peruse ties. They were beautiful, but he had nowhere to wear them. A dark green one caught his eye – it had a subtle leaf pattern running along the left-hand side. Smooth as water.

“- welcome into the studio, former Tigerlily Champion, the fabulous, Arcade Star Dahlia!” the radio chattered.

Eve appeared from behind a carousel of dresses. She'd settled on a magenta bandana that made her look like a pretty pirate. “It suits you! You should buy it,” she said.

“Too expensive,” Josh said. “I'll see you outside.”

Eve emerged a few minutes later. “Where shall we go now?”

“I don't know. I'd rather not go back into the city just yet.”

“Alright then,” Eve said. “Oh, hey, a pop-up café! Let's stop there for a while.”

The café was more of a bistro, set up beneath a wide canopy blazoned with the name 'La Fée Verte'. They sat up at the counter – Josh set his seed canister on the counter-top where he could keep an eye on it.

“The Green Fairy, eh? Couldn't get a glass of green fairy, could I?” Josh joked.

“Yes sir,” the server replied. “Littleroot's finest.”

“Explain?” Eve said.

“Absinthe, the drink of Kalosian bohemians and Unovan beatniks alike. And now a Hoenn specialty,” the server said.

“Groovy. Hook me up, juiceman,” Eve said.

“I suppose I'll have one,” Josh said, that burst of bizarre slang. “It's more or less appropriate at five o'clock anyway.”

“Very witty, sir,” the server said. He laid out a pair of glasses – pouring out a little deep green spirit into each one.

“In Kalos they still call five to six o'clock 'l'heure vert' – the Green Hour,” Josh commented.

“You are such a square,” Eve said. “How do you know all this?”

“University Kalosian,” he explained, watching the server add ice water and a little sugar to the neat absinthe. “And a year studying abroad in Lumiose.”

“You never told me you could speak Kalosian!” Eve said accusingly.

“When did it ever come up?”

“Voilà, your green fairy, sir.”

“Merci, monsieur,” Josh said distractedly. “It's about time we talked doubles strategy.”

“Mm. Whatcha come up with, Daddy-O?” Eve said, starting on her absinthe. Josh gave her a chilly look.

“I've been thinking about our battle styles. Fundamentally I think it comes down to this – my style requires that my opponent show their hand first. I need space to think at the beginning of each match. If I have to play catch-up with you from the start, we'll never synergise.”

“I know you like to test the waters,” Eve said. “I can put up that. Um … you know I don't plan, though. I have to battle on the edge.”

“That's going to be a problem.”

“Does it have to be?” Eve countered. “You know my pokémon, their moves, you know the way I like to battle.”

Josh sipped at his absinthe thoughtfully. The complex aniseed flavour reminded him of Lumiose City. Eve wasn't wrong. He had a pretty good idea of what to expect from her in battle. Sceptical about whether she would adapt, mind, but … well, got to compromise somewhere.

“Then you’re going te have te keep telling me what your ad hoc tactics are,” he said.

“Can't hurt, I guess,” Eve said with a shrug. “For the sake of general strategy. What about your team?”

“I think I'll invest in a couple of TMs. Nature Power, at least. Perhaps Recycle -” He was cut off by the ringing of his Pokégear. He velcroed it off his wrist and glanced at the number. Home. Mum or Dad?

Unfortunately, it was Dad again. Josh hadn’t realised JPLN had aired the footage of his Gym battle, all of it. Apparently it had made the JPLN Friday top ten. He wasn’t sure how to react to that particular news. Yeah, he was pleased with the result, but JPLN considered it one of the top battles in the region. There weren’t any congratulations from Dad. Instead they somehow ended up arguing over whether he ought to have battled with Fionn. It felt like they’d had this argument before, many, many times. Dad seemed to have forgotten that he’d won that battle. Like I don’t know my own bloody pokémon.

“An annoying conversation, huh?” Eve asked rhetorically. Josh grunted neutrally.

Eve sighed. “Damnit Josh,” she muttered.

“What did I do?” he snapped. Eve gave him an affronted look.

I’m not playing guessing games. “Fine. Sorry. Whatever it is,” he said.

She sighed again, and pointedly looked away. “You are such a typical guy.”

“Thass ‘cause I’m a-drinking with a typical girl.”

There was a short, taut, silence. Eve abruptly tossed down a clattering handful of coins and stormed off in a huff. Suit yourself, ye stroppy hinny. He tried to go back to his absinthe, and think about possible Recycle strategies. It was difficult to concentrate in the knowledge that Eve was cross with him. After a while he just gave up and headed back to Millennium Centre.

The room might charitably be called cosy. The tiny bathroom on the immediate left accounted for at least a third of the space; the bunk bed and wardrobe in the alcove thus created accounted for most of the rest. It was not, on the whole, a comfortable place for two feuding friends to hang out. Eve wouldn't talk to him, and Josh tenaciously ignored her. In the end, Eve went out by herself to explore the city.

*​

It seemed like half the trainers in Goldenrod were in Millennium Centre the next morning. Josh lurked discreetly in a sunny corner of the common room, giving his seed a sunshine-bath. In the meantime he was studying the girls again – looking for mannerisms to copy, listening to the way they spoke.

“Keeping the voice consistent is going to be difficult, Screwball,” Josh murmured.

[Yes,] Screwball dutifully agreed.

Josh watched a girl walk by over the top of his glasses. More upright, usually shorter strides. A thought occurred to him. “Screwball, tu comprends Kalossais?”

[Yes.]

Interesting. So apparently his pokémon understood him, not the language he was using. That made sense. It wasn't like Screwball learned English any more than he had learned Magnemite.

[Time.]

“What? Oh,” Josh checked his Pokégear. Time was moving on – he was supposed to be meeting Eve in a couple of hours. He headed back to his room, trying out a feminine walk along the way. In the stairwell he started singing softly, concentrating on his pitch. Some of the online sources he'd found recommended singing in a feminine voice for practice. It was helpful, too, that he was a good mimic – something that had been useful while learning Kalosian. He was still singing when he reached the room.

“What care we how white the spray is,
What care we, boys, for wind and weather?
When we know that -”

There was an unfamiliar Joy in his room.

He closed the door.

He opened it again. The girl hadn't spontaneously morphed into Eve – this one had sharper, leaner features, well suited for the scornful look she was giving him now. She was wearing an orderly's dress and armband.

“Get the fantasy out of your head,” she said. “This dress stays on.”

“What!” said Josh, infuriated and insulted.

“I don't care what Imogen says,” Joy continued, ignoring him. “We look after our own. So you'd better keep your hands to yourself.”

This is about Eve. As bloody usual, Josh thought, trying to maintain his composure. “Eve is a grown woman,” he said coldly. “She can make her own choices.”

Joy gave him that fiery, nail-you-to-the-wall glare. It didn't have the same effect as when Eve used it. She seemed to realise this after a moment.

“What choice do you want? Do you like Evelina? Or do you just want to do her? Although,” she added, “for a boy that's one and the same.”

Josh took a long, deep breath. If Joy wasn't as self-centred as the average glameow she might have noticed the signs of a man who'd had enough. Had enough of being gossip, had enough of the slurs on his honour. That last snide little insult was the last straw.

“Is that all I am to you people?” he enunciated in a low voice. He carefully placed his egg on the table.

“Answer the question.”

“Get out.”

“Answer the question.”

“Get out!” Josh shouted. “Or do I have to throw you out?”

It seemed to dawn on Joy that she was pushing her luck. She gave him one last sapphire-edged glare and flounced out, the effect of her attempted door slam spoiled by the slow hinges.

Josh collapsed on the lower bunk. Belatedly, he realised he really was angry enough to physically throw Joy out – and that realisation scared him. He lay back on the bed, screwed his eyes shut. He could feel a headache coming on. This damn city … Eve would have to wait a while. He ought to calm down properly first.

*​

That night in National Park, light and music filled the plaza. Two rows of cheri trees formed a wide space in the middle, their boughs hung with dozens of lanterns. Their low, broad crowns sheltered an array of round wooden tables, whilst couples danced across the golden-brown brickwork paving to the Gold and Silver Waltz.

Josh was seated at the northwest side. It was a pleasant place to sit, in the cool night air, listening to the orchestra, with the blossom overhead like an awning of flowers. He leaned back in his chair and sipped at his whisky-on-the-rocks – from a plastic tumbler, but at least it was the right shape for a whisky glass. He allowed himself a brief smirk at the sight of all the taller, broader, manlier men obviously uncomfortable dancing in formal wear. Josh was in formal wear as well, all in black, but for his dark blue tie. His waistcoat was embroidered with a complex pattern of cogs and gears in grey and silver thread. He glanced round at an unaccompanied girl and saw – Eve.

Eve was wearing a black silk cheongsam patterned with sinuous dragonair designs in glittering gold brocade. She'd somehow managed to braid her hair together at the nape of her neck, together with a reduced Poké Ball. Josh paused with his whisky tumbler halfway to his mouth. This was unexpected.

“Don't we look dashing tonight,” she commented. Josh lowered his whisky. Eve was actually wearing perfume for once.

“Well, aren't you going to ask me to dance?” she said.

“I don't dance.”

“Coward,” she said, smiling, and headed for the bar.

“Coward,” he repeated after she'd gone. “Coward, is it!”

Eve leaned against the counter of the open-air bar and gave the barman a sharp look. “Yes, I'm sure,” she said sharply. “I'll have a brandy.”

“That one's on me,” Josh said. “Unless the lady would care to dance?” He stood with one hand held formally behind his back, the other held out invitingly. Eve smiled doubtfully and put her hand in his.

Josh led his friend gently out onto the dance floor. The orchestra was still playing the Gold and Silver Waltz. He bowed; Eve bobbed a curtsey in return. He took her into a ballroom hold – her right hand in his left, his right hand on her shoulder blade. It had been years since he last waltzed, but his feet somehow remembered the steps. Unsurprisingly, Eve was an entirely adroit dancer.

“That waistcoat is very you,” Eve said after he twirled her round a couple of times. “Gears for the boy from industrial Mulberry Town.”

“It was a gift,” Josh said, smiling despite himself. “From Adèle – I mean, a friend of the family.”

“I never thought I'd see you bow!” Eve giggled. “You don't even bow to gods!”

“I don't respect gods.”

The night breeze showered them with cheri blossom, each petal dancing with the others. Eve giggled, and slapped Josh's arm playfully with her free right hand. “You said you couldn't dance!” she said accusingly.

“No,” Josh replied patiently, “I said I didn't dance.”

“Where did you learn to waltz, you commoner,” she teased.

“Aunt Cassie decided she wanted a touch of class for her wedding.”

“Liar,” Eve said. Josh moved into promenade – side-by-side and a little behind her, holding her left hand in his over her shoulder, right in right. “You haven't missed a step.”

“They were thorough lessons,” Josh said sourly.

Eve was in the mood to dance, judging by her refusal to sit down after the first dance. The next piece was simpler, just the strings and piano. “Josh, check it out!” Eve whispered. “Whitney at two o'clock!”

Josh twirled her round to change direction sightly. The Goldenrod Gym Leader was holding court at a table under a tree, legs languidly crossed, talking excitedly with a clique of other girls. Whitney was dressed for the occasion; what looked like rubies sparkled from her ears. “Are you kidding, I never ever miss a Tourney!” she was saying.

“Quite an exciting neckline, don't you think?” Eve whispered in his ear.

“Shh, never mind her cleavage!” Josh whispered back.

“No way, you're all entering?” Whitney enthused. “Ahhh, I just love the Tourney – no boys to overshadow us, amirite?”

There was a ripple of agreement from her courtiers. A pang of guilt shot through Josh's chest. He kept his face carefully still and led Eve round in a circle, to stay in earshot. “Oh, hello, my sweet succulent rivals,” she whispered. Competitiveness made Eve a little strange.

“Raichu is my ace,” one of the girls was saying. She had a strong upper-class Goldenrod accent. “Nearly any pokémon falls if you slam a thick enough Thunderbolt through it.”

The girls were helpfully talkative. The raichu trainer was an Electric-type specialist, with a tendency to think that sheer voltage would carry the day. Josh was pretty sure her friend was Casey from Violet City – the last time he saw her she had been wearing nothing more than a towel, but that bored expression was very familiar. Looking almost as bored was the girl with lustrous gold-blonde hair, elegantly smoking a cigarette like it it was an art form. She was wearing a marvellous pink coral gorget, fashioned from her own corsola’s coral, shining gorgeously against her chest. Her battle-partner, not nearly as elegant in white, was a Psychic-type specialist, talking about the finer points of training bronzor. One of the girls had a noibat hanging from her arm – she was obviously a Dragon Tamer, but which dragons did she tame?

A couple of Unovans were beginning to raise his suspicions. One was a shortish girl with a permanent smile – the other, a very dark girl in a scarlet double-breasted blazer.

“Eevee. We should keep an eye on the two Unovans. They're participating in the conversation but they're not saying anything about their own pokémon.”

“What are you thinking?”

“I'm thinking they're smart enough to scope out the competition,” Josh said grimly. Which meant that they'd be paying more attention to him during the Tourney than he'd like. He hastily steered them away just as the second dance was ending.

“Aw, that was fun!” Eve complained. Josh ignored that. For a moment he thought he’d spotted yet another Joy, but no, a girl with magenta-coloured hair. He was getting tired of that family. Eve probably didn’t think he noticed, but they were always watching him, the way you’d watch a meowth when there’s sardines on the grill. He didn’t believe it was all family solidarity, but it was all gossip. It wasn’t just Gabriella, it was the cousin at the Deepwoods Centre, Len Town, Violet City, Jocasta here in Goldenrod and bloody Riley. Even Dr Imogen judged him primarily over whether or not he was interested in Eve’s knickers. Why was it so hard to imagine he was friends with a girl? Why did it all have to be about sex?

“You ok, sweetling?” Eve asked.

“Feels like first year of Uni agen,” he said. “I’m the oddling one.”

Eve gave him a faintly puzzled look. She pulled him into one of her forceful hugs. “It's ok. I'm sorry my cousin is such a bitch.”

“... I think I prefer you without the perfume,” he said.

Eve laughed, breaking the hug. Towards the north a firework screamed up into the night and detonated in a flower of silver – the first of a display that lit up the sky.

“I think I'm ready for bed,” Eve announced.

“Yeah, sure …” Josh said vaguely, giving the aspiring Tigerlilies one last uneasy look.

Next Chapter: The Girl from Goldenrod City

 

[kintsugi]

Eve surfaced like an angry pink gyarados

wriggled and snarled like a petulant gyarados.

Maybe a bit of an oveuse of this metaphor in such close proximity.

A young pyrite sableye stared at Josh disturbingly with its fool's gold eyes

I know you like doing different colors and all, but in my experience, pyrite forms cubic crystals, so it wouldn't really make for a good eye-shape granted, all sableye have eyes shaped like cut rather than uncut gems, but then you get into planar geometry and stuff

Each pokémon had differently coloured roses to the others.

Probs almost certainly an across-the-pond difference, but since you've been correcting my grammar so much, I feel like this should be "differently coloured than the others"?

A light, enervating scent rose off the petals, like crushed kingsfoil.

hue

I know you mentioned altering some of the previous chapters to highlight Josh's daddy issues a lot earlier, so I won't call them out for being a massive case of "that escalated quickly" quite yet since I haven't re-read, but if there haven't been major changes to the existing material, this sudden spat with Josh's father seems quite out of left field. It's a nice parallel to Eve's family issues, yeah (although they're also similar to an almost repetitive extent), but without proper set-up, this is hardly something to just drop in chapter 20.

Also, I feel like the Eve/Josh fight escalated way too fast here, again. I said this with the last fight, so I'm not sure if we just map arguments unfolding differently, but Eve seems, like, super-insistent and the whole I gotta know right now what's going on RIGHT NOW I TELL YOU even though she's been at least somewhat understanding/patient in the past, I guess?

The resolution was quite fair, though.

Aha the waltzing thing comes back yaaaas.

“Ahhh, I just love the Tourney – no boys to overshadow us, amirite?”

lol, it appears out interpretations of Whitney are going to be quite different

The probably-foreshadowing on the various tournament opponents was a nice touch.

On the whole, a quiet chapter (like there's never one around here), but nice. I can see why you'd be struggling with this one for a while, but I think the end result was pretty nice. There was a weird unbalance between sudden family dramas everywhere (and having to deal with both sides in the span of a couple of scene breaks was rough) and then back to looking at froofy drinks or quiet sights was somewhat awkward, but it seemed like a good way of moving from the worldbuilding-ness that the past few chapters have been into what is more likely a tighter, tension-y tournament arc. Solid, on the whole.

 

[System Error]

All right, so a full and formal review of this finally! It's been a while and some of this is going off our old VMs, so my memory on the earlier chapters is a bit hazy. But here goes! We have a slice of life fused into your typical journeyfic here. An interesting blend to say the least. I enjoy the slow pace of this fic in a weird way. A lot of it is about showing the little things that you might run into during a Long Walk that a typical journeyfic might not go into, although I feel it does go a bit too far at times - Chapter 4 being an example that stood out when I was first reading this. That said, the little side-adventures are usually fun, like the creepy rapey fox who threw a fit because she didn't get worship.

Given the nature of this fic, the two main characters are its lifeblood. First for the true lead, Evelina Joy. In her first few appearances, I found her kind of annoying. Something about her just rubbed me the wrong way. However, after she got more exposure, fleshing out, and her backstory elaborated on, she grew on me. Of course since Joys are everywhere, this leads to nearly an omnipresent opportunity to have it become a factor in the travels. I think you put just the right amount of investment put into the family aspect of it - not too much to overtake things, but not too little so it's pushed on the backburner. One problem was/is the lack of recurring Joys, so it's always meeting whichever Joy in town and seeing her response to their rebellious family member. Riley, assuming she becomes a recurring character and though I could be wrong I get the sense of it, seems like she might mitigate this. On the subject of her really quick though, I found her family unity in spite of an implied negative relationship with Eve to be neat - though again, it could well be just her trying to make her cousin's life miserable. On the negative side, I feel she comes across as implausibly strong, at times. Most recently at the time of writing this: winning five times in a row with the Pineco.

A bit less to be said about Joshua Cook. Unlike with Evelina who grew on me over time, Josh went in the opposite direction. His flaws are pretty clear-cut, having a sense of entitlement and self-superiority. Up until this latest chapter and the pending rewrites, his relationship with his father kind of came across in a way that made me unsympathetic to Josh; a pang of immaturity in an otherwise mature person, if you will. In spite of this, while I like the character of Evelina more, I like Josh as a character more, if that makes any sense. Eve may have the more likeable personality and a nicer backstory, Josh is a more solid foundation for a character. He has a lot more room for growth. I feel he has the more interesting set of Pokemon, and that's even before I subtract points from Eve for having a hacked Pidgeotto and a Ledyba/Ledian. I usually enjoy the battles he's featured in, and the relationship he shares with his Pokemon only add to the effect. Of what I like of his personality, I do like how he shows off a range of emotions/attitudes. He can go from sensitive to tough to cultured to even being a cold SOB ("Get rid of them.") Finally, one last thing to mention about him that I don't know where else to put: in Chapter 19, it was implied he's an apatheist or something. That feels just so fitting.

As for their interactions together...first and foremost! Kudos for not immediately jumping on the romantic relationship option, yet putting in sexual tension I feel would be natural and explictly stating that door is open - even if it did involve a magic fortune telling place. It fittingly starts off a bit awkward (almost to the point of being disruptive...). The camaraderie is pleasant, usually casual scenes that give insight to their characters or the setting as a whole. A scene that stands out in particular is their planning on capturing Pokemon a the rich dude. But their fighting occasionally gets to be a bit much, I feel. When it's that frequent, it kind of dilutes the fights that happen over real issues. Unless of course, the point is that they both have a lot of issues and can be petty, in which case, well done nailing that. I never considered the contrast in their battling styles until it was pointed out, especially when it comes to being a unit. I'm a bit surprised that isn't a cause for friction. Finally, the changing limited third-person perspective is a nice touch and way to write it.

The setting...it's too bad the Atlas is FUCKING DEAD :<. Because you do enough expansion with your Very British Johto that I feel a more comprehensive collection of information would be of benefit. Just about everything you add feels like it blends in well. Johto is an interesting choice for a region, if the most backtracky one short of starting in Cianwood. Definitely one you're doing well at interpreting and expanding, though. You also mentioned some spoilerific hype about trekking around the region, which you only said not to guess based on the games or the anime that's a fair ways until relevancy. Looking forward to that, be it ferries, giant bridges, giant bridge fairies, or whatever.

The plot isn't too much to write about, as it's a general journeyfic fair, besides the most recent thread of Evelina wanting to participate in a girls-only competition, risking disqualification with Joshua. Too early to say anything about that besides my initial wat-reaction about it. Meanwhile, we have this side-plot going on with a Beast of the Sea (now actually Lugia instead of an undersea ocean current!). A good way to set things up for later without having an Evil Team(tm) play a constant factor.

Technical stuff, the fic is solid. Grammar is good, though there's a few rare spots where flow ends up a bit strange. I'd have to go back and look for any specific examples that stood out, but I remember a few scene transitions and maybe a pure worldbuilding session or two being a bit iffy. Not much to say about it otherwise.

That's about all that comes to mind at the moment. Hopefully I didn't forget anything! All in all, this is a great fic, and one I'm glad I decided to read. Keep up the good work!

 

[Sike Saner]

bacon-and-potato stew

God I could sure go for something like that right about now.

The little roselia gave Josh such an adorably innocent smile that he melted rather like ice cream himself. “Aw,” he said helplessly. “Sold. Sold, damn you.”

It's ok, Josh. I'd have probably done the same damn thing.

I'm not going to apologise this time.

*


How am I going to apologise this time?

snrfles audibly

Josh managed a weak smile. “I can't stand it when you're angry with me.”

“Yeah, I know,” Eve said wearily. “Neither can I.”

D'aww.

Eve pulled him into one of her forceful hugs. “It's ok. I'm sorry my cousin is such a pompous bitch.”

“... I think I prefer you without the perfume,” he said.

Eve laughed, breaking the hug.

AND AGAIN I SAY: D'aww.

 

[Flaze]

All right, finally finished chapter 20...it was nice. I mean don't get me wrong I liked the chapter and it really was a nice chapter with Eve and Josh bonding some more and expanding on the world and whatnot, and we got to seem some drama (and some special characters no one bothered pointing out ;p) but...well it just felt like more of the same in a way, I mean we got some hints at what was going to happen the day of the tournament with Whitney and other participants but it wasn't really much .

And to be honest I could point out the grammar even though I only noticed a couple of missing things, or I could point out about how I like that you're going forward with showing the different subspecies that each species (redundancy aside) of Pokemon can have, but over all I think that it was just more of the same. Again, I'm not saying that your chapter was bad by any means but I don't think it really stands out overall or does anything that hasn't been done before. Yeah Eve and Josh argue but that happens about once every arc and while it's nice that Josh decided to trust Eve more with his own past and the like it still doesn't change the fact that we didn't exactly get any kind of new information we haven't seen. We know Josh and his dad don't get along very well and that his dad is really strict with Pokemon training.

I know it seems like I'm hampering on the chapter too much and I really don't mean to >.< again it was good, just that we've had a lot of chapters like this and I think it kind of causes the story to drag down a bit, again I think it would've stood out more if like something else had been done to advance the characters along and yes their relationship did advance technically but it didn't really advance by much when you think about it properly.

Anyways I'm looking forward to the tournament starting next chapter what that Lady Josh can pull off

 

[Beth Pavell]

Going for one big mega response for once

@kintsugi:

A young pyrite sableye stared at Josh disturbingly with its fool's gold eyes

I know you like doing different colors and all, but in my experience, pyrite forms cubic crystals, so it wouldn't really make for a good eye-shape granted, all sableye have eyes shaped like cut rather than uncut gems, but then you get into planar geometry and stuff

Quite right, pyrites would be a damn silly shape for an eye. But then, gemstones are a damn silly material for eyes to be made out of. Actually, I got the idea from some artwork on tumblr, and I liked the artists' concept of Fool's Gold sableye luring miners into the deeps. I should credit that sometime, if I can find the art again.

Each pokémon had differently coloured roses to the others.

Probs almost certainly an across-the-pond difference, but since you've been correcting my grammar so much, I feel like this should be "differently coloured than the others"?

Errr, I think you're right actually.

I know you mentioned altering some of the previous chapters to highlight Josh's daddy issues a lot earlier, so I won't call them out for being a massive case of "that escalated quickly" quite yet since I haven't re-read, but if there haven't been major changes to the existing material, this sudden spat with Josh's father seems quite out of left field. It's a nice parallel to Eve's family issues, yeah (although they're also similar to an almost repetitive extent), but without proper set-up, this is hardly something to just drop in chapter 20.

Yeah, this is sort of the problem with finishing new chapters in the light of upcoming rewrites - the new ones need to make sense in the context of the rewrites. One of the things I intend to emphasise with the new versions of the earlier chapters is Adam Cook's bad habit of being overbearing and overcritical, something of a sore point between the two. And in any case:

Also, I feel like the Eve/Josh fight escalated way too fast here, again. I said this with the last fight, so I'm not sure if we just map arguments unfolding differently, but Eve seems, like, super-insistent and the whole I gotta know right now what's going on RIGHT NOW I TELL YOU even though she's been at least somewhat understanding/patient in the past, I guess?

The resolution was quite fair, though.

Yeah, this seems to be a recurring problem. I'm not great at writing arguments anyway - but perhaps it's time to admit that trying to fit them in a chapter without them being the main focus isn't going to work. The conflict I was trying to get across is that Eve hasn't been communicating and that's unfair on Josh, but at the same time he isn't exactly engaging to find out what the problem is either.

Aha the waltzing thing comes back yaaaas.

Never pegged you for such a big fan of that xD

On the whole, I think this chapter is about as good as it was ever going to be. There was a lot to cram in before the Tourney and inevitably that meant a kind of montage feel to it. I did consider chopping out a large chunk of it - possibly scrapping the Eve argument, debating whether the Riley conflict could have been removed, that sort of thing. In the end I decided to keep it since each event does have a bearing on the rest

@System Error: One of the issues I'm trying to iron out with the three chapter rewrites is the problem of early instalment weirdness. Eve's personality was developed between my writing One (Choices) and Six (Azalea Town), for one. Same goes for the meandering plot that leads to Four (Over Hill, Under Hill), which means that the story takes about six chapters to really find its feet. Plot-wise, I want to change Josh's motivation somewhat. At the moment it boils down to “I'm bored in an office job!” - I want it to be more “There's no work in Mulberry Town”.

Picking up on the Joy dynamics, one of the problems to solve – so to speak – is that Eve can avoid her family if need be. She actually doesn't have to interact all that much with her relatives and her mother not at all. I kind of have to fall back on the idea of feminine politicking to get it to work – which is in itself worry since I'm trying to go for verisimilitude rather than lazy stereotypes.

When it comes to Josh, the father relationship is the most difficult aspect to write, not least because most of the foundation of it has to be told in retrospect. They don't really communicate well with each other, and each is the other's blind spot when it comes to being fair. And yes, Josh has some apatheist overtones. To be precise, he believes in the gods, he just refuses to acknowledge any divine authority. He's the kind of person who would look down the business end of a thunderbolt and still flip Zeus the bird.

Writing Josh and Eve interacting is most fun. And one of the easiest aspects of the story, to be honest. Ok, I did cheat and use the Xatu in Sixteen (Future Sight), but I maintain that since it raises more questions than it answers, and since I'm only using it once, I can get away with it.

Aaand finally, the Atlas. To be honest, I couldn't think of anything to elaborate on, but if there's an aspect of the world you'd like me to talk about, I'm all ears.

@Sike Saner: Josh is obviously too used to Eve smelling slightly sweaty xD

@Flaze: I think I covered most of this above with kintsugi's response above – but, yeah, there's a lot in this chapter that has to be there before the Tourney. The arguments aren't essential to the Tourney, but they need to be in the story so that means before the arc. I'm in two minds about whether the bickering with Eve could have been cut – I suppose it could, but then I didn't want the argument from Eleven (Forging a Friendship) to look like I was just getting it out of the way.

 

[Persephone]

Ah. Absurdly powerful Pokemon trying to be human and just not getting it. I have a particular fondness for the trope.

I'm still not entirely sure where you're going with this, especially since Team Aqua is now apparently in Johto trying to capture a legendary in a story that very much shies away from young men and women fighting the mafia or legendary Pokemon. So I'm interested to see how exactly you're going to bring this into the main storyline.

Scenery porn is half of why I read this story and that was good. Subspecies are canon now, I guess, which is fun. I guess I'm a little pissed off now that I know what the contest is for, since entering a guy in to a contest designed to let women not be marginalized is kind of... I dunno. If he wins or comes close I will definitely have mixed feelings and the gender politics will be absurdly complicated.

Token criticism, I guess: the fight came from nowhere and left just as quickly. I would be fine with either, but when it's only a thing for ~300 words I really question why you'd even bother to throw it in in the first place. And also Joshua apologizing when Eve was kind of in the wrong for basically demanding he share something he didn't want to was weird. So there's that.

Also I can help with the cross-gender presentation stuff since I basically spent my summer 'researching' that. If you want to talk or have questions answered, PM me.

So good chapters. I'm tired. I'll stop rambling now.

 

[Beth Pavell]

Ah. Absurdly powerful Pokemon trying to be human and just not getting it. I have a particular fondness for the trope.

I'm still not entirely sure where you're going with this, especially since Team Aqua is now apparently in Johto trying to capture a legendary in a story that very much shies away from young men and women fighting the mafia or legendary Pokemon. So I'm interested to see how exactly you're going to bring this into the main storyline.

Very much in an unusual way, I suspect. I did have a lot of fun with that interlude - as you say, the "trying to be human" schtick kind of writes itself. Especially Marisa's wrong assumption about mammals, the silly bird. Dragon. Thing. Not mammal.

I guess I'm a little pissed off now that I know what the contest is for, since entering a guy in to a contest designed to let women not be marginalized is kind of... I dunno. If he wins or comes close I will definitely have mixed feelings and the gender politics will be absurdly complicated.

Also I can help with the cross-gender presentation stuff since I basically spent my summer 'researching' that. If you want to talk or have questions answered, PM me.

This was one of the things I thought long and hard about when planning this arc. Obviously there was my determination to avoid cheap laughs, as I've mentioned before, but I also don't want it to look like something Josh does without any kind of reservations. It's tricky, because I don't want to go on a long spiel confirming that the Tourney's original purpose is obsolete etc etc ... in terms of the feminisation and whatnot, well, that was an interesting lot of research to be done

 

[Beth Pavell]

Spoiler: Version History

1.1 : Rewrote the psychomachy from the first scene. Jophiel and Pheiton now present extended arguments
1.2 : "Wednesday" is now "Osturday"
1.3 : Lovelace and Winters appear in the Underground, not Morgan and Harwich.
Minor edits regarding feminine dress.
Completely rewritten final scene

Chapter Twenty One – The Girl from Goldenrod City (Version 1.3)

Joshua​

“Wasn't the plaza beautiful tonight?” Eve said softly.

“Yeah, actually,” Josh replied, lying awake in the top bunk. The thin Millennium Centre curtains let in rather more light from the street than he would like. “Lamentably, we don't have cheri trees in Mulberry Town.”

“See! Dancing wasn't so bad then, was it?”

“You shush, you.”

Eve went quiet for a moment. After a while she said, “Have you ever been in love?”

“An obvious question to ask,” Josh said teasingly.

“It’s a question! I just, I don’t know.”

Josh thought back to the warm, inconclusive mess that passed for his romantic life. “No. Nothing so intense. You?”

“Yeah. I was, once. Then he betrayed me.”

The strange thing was, she didn't sound angry or bitter, just … hurt. He lay in thought for a while, trying to work out how to put into words what they both already knew.

“The ancients had two words for love,” he said slowly. “Eros, romantic love, and philia, usually translated as companionship. When it came to Linda, or Adèle, I was always anxious.” And always out of my depth. “I like this better,” he said.

“Me too,” Eve said quietly. “Tourney starts in six days!”

Josh said nothing, listening to Eve breathing as she lost interest in the conversation and drifted off to sleep. Eve might be feeling enthusiastic about the Tourney, but he certainly wasn’t. The two Unovans, the shortish one and the one in the scarlet blazer, were playing on his mind. In hindsight, it was idiotic of him to think that he’d be the only one scoping out the competition. That made them more of a tactical threat, which was unwelcome, but what was unnerving was the thought that they might be scrutinising him as well as his pokémon.

Scoping out the competition … Josh rolled over and tried to turn a deaf ear to his conscience.

“You can’t just ignore me, you know,” his conscience said, and manifested in front of his face. It looked like a six inch version of himself, with the discreet addition of a pair of feathered wings. He ignored Josh’s cold look and casually spun his sceptre. It was silver, and topped with a large pearl.

“Go away. You’re just a metaphor,” Josh told him. He rolled over again, trying to turn a blind eye as well as a deaf ear. His shoulder-angel simply fluttered back into view.

“Hey, be glad I’m here,” he said, waggling his sceptre admonishingly. “If I weren’t here, you’d be a sociopath.”

“Actually, if we weren’t here, he’d be a sociopath,” a disembodied voice said, which then incarnated itself. “Am I late for the psychomachy?”

“Unfortunately not, Pheiton,” the first shoulder-angel said testily. Against all reason, this second angel was a twin to the first, except instead of a sceptre he was leaning on a highly-polished sword.

“Hold on. Before we go any further, which one of you is supposed to be the evil one?” Josh said.

Pheiton gave him a jaded look. “You know it’s not that simple.”

“The hell it isn’t!” the first angel persisted. “Josh, the Tigerlily Tourney isn’t gender-exclusive because it’s trendy. You remember what Whitney said: ‘No boys to overshadow us’. Don’t pretend you don’t care about that!”

“Which would actually be relevant if this was 1992!” Pheiton countered. “Shall I run through the numbers? In the Imperial leagues, five Frontier Brains -”

“Out of twelve -”

“Fourteen Gym Leaders -”

“Out of thirty two -”

“Almost half, four Elite Four -”

“Out of twe-elve!”

“And one Champion. Agatha retired and Lorelei is on sabbatical, as you know damn well. The principle is redundant; this time utilitarianism is king!”

“He said ‘King’! You heard him, he said ‘King’, he’s a royalist!”

“Fuck you, Jophiel!” Pheiton yelled.

“Shall we spell that argument out? Girl trainers are doing ok these days, so I’m going to put on a skirt and pretend to be one! That doesn’t strike you as -”

“Does Josh’s entry prevent anyone else from entering?” Pheiton interrupted. “No. Is Josh so talented that he’d crush all opposition? No. let’s get right down to it – who would be hurt by Josh entering?”

“I’m gonna hurt you!” Jophiel yelled, levelling his sceptre at Pheiton. The pearl started to glow a pale blue.

“Oh, bring it on!” Pheiton roared, brandishing his blade, which burst into white flame.

“Shut up, you celestial smuts!” Josh snapped. Both angels simultaneously opened their mouths. “I said button it! I am not arguing with a pair of metaphors, now go and dance on the head of a pin! Go on, piss off.”

They reluctantly disincarnated in a couple of puffs of smudgy smoke. Josh closed his eyes but didn’t sleep, kept awake by indecision. The last thing he wanted to do was disappoint Eve, that was part of it. Evelina Joy, that was another part of it. It’s not like she could just team up with one of her cousins. And Gabriella Joy had a certain relentlessness to her opposition that was all-too familiar. After a while it ground you down till you wanted one good moment of vindication. Tigerlily Champion was pretty damn unassailable vindication.

Except all this will be irrelevant if I can't pass as a girl …

*​

It was Osturday morning, and the L-train rattled through the tunnel with a constant loud tak-tak tak-tak, tak-tak tak-tak. The L was bustling, as usual. Josh was nursing a bad mood. The stress and pace of life in Goldenrod was giving him daily headaches. It was getting on for 10:20 already – he was supposed to be meeting Eve at eleven.

“The next station is: The Underground. Please mind the gap between the train and the platform.”

Josh stepped out onto the platform, and briefly contemplated driving a hobnailed boot into the instep of a salaryman who just barged him aside, fixated on his phone. The citizens of the Sunshine City didn't believe in hasty apologies, apparently. He hitched his seed canister further up his back; leaving it in the Centre just made him anxious, so he'd taken to carrying it around in a draw-string bag cannibalised from his sleeping bag. On the far side of the station was the archway through to the Underground. The sign above the arch read 'Goldenrod Underground: As Above, So Below'.

Finding a specific café in the Underground proved to be more difficult than he'd expected. The Underground was just over two miles long, north to south, with a multitude of branching alleys – it had an eclectic, slightly run down appearance. In places, the street was mainly illuminated by the light spilling from shop windows.

Josh found the café he was looking for on the south side of the street, in a patch of twilight created by a row of failing light panels. The façade was rather tasteful, with the name 'Holly's' painted by the door in neat copperplate script. A bell above the door gave a dignified tinkle as Josh entered. The interior had a restrained, polished aesthetic – handsome dark mahogany furnishings, elegant brass sconces on the walls, bookcases in one corner stacked with leather bound volumes. The waitresses' uniforms, too, were understated. One of them approached Josh as he glanced around the café looking for Eve, putting on a smile with practiced ease. She had on a cute little formal blouse, a short black skirt, and a ridiculously short red tie.

“Welcome, my lord,” she said. “How was your journey?”

“What? Er, irritating,” Josh said distractedly.

“Miss Joy will be arriving directly. Lisbeth, attend to the Earl of Mulberry.”

A blonde waitress tugged gently at his arm. “Right this way, my lord. If it please you.”

Josh couldn't help but wince at her deferential manner. There weren't many other customers in the café, just a few students and someone hidden behind a newspaper. He sat down, and drew out a book from his jacket.

Seedlings will appreciate warm conditions with plenty of access to light – Poké Ball acclimatisation should not be done before sunset. For the first few weeks, general health and well-being can be promoted through berry juice feedings (see below: Diet) -

“Coffee, my lord,” Lisbeth said. Josh didn't notice her at first, immersed in seedling care. Until, in his peripheral vision, he spotted her going down to her knees.

“What on earth -” he started.

“Sugar for your coffee?” Lisbeth asked, adding three cubes of brown sugar anyway. She didn't get up.

“I'm used to stirring my own coffee,” Josh said meaningfully.

“But I am your lief and loyal liege-girl!” she protested.

“That's as maybe, but – wait, lief?”

“Mmhm!” Lisbeth said innocently.

“Uhh …” Josh said, blushing at the implications. “I'd as lief stir my own coffee, thank you.”

Lisbeth endeavoured to pull an adorably sulky face, but desisted.

Yellow apricorn juice is an excellent base for any supplement, encouraging general robustness during the critical first month. Roselia tend to dislike the sour taste – this can be balanced by any sweet fruit, but I recommend ripe petayas for building future tolerance to Bug-types -

“My lord, you're so tense!” a third waitress interrupted. Josh realised he'd been trying to massage his own shoulder. She gently moved his hand aside and took over.

“You know that's not, necessary,” he said. Though that does feel rather nice … he stopped her hand in place. “Sorry, would you and your colleagues do me a favour? I'd like some space, please. Sorry, thank you.”

He glanced at his Pokégear. Eve was late – that was a little suspicious. Hold on. Doubly suspicious, that the staff knew he was from Mulberry Town … that fellow with the newspaper hasn't turned a page.

“I know it's you behind that,” Josh said pointedly.

The newspaper flopped down, revealing Eve. She moved over to his table without saying anything, contriving to look annoyed when she obviously wanted to smile.

“I should have known you were behind this.”

“Maybe.”

“Eevee, why did you do this,” he said, trying to keep his tone as light as possible.

“I wanted to do something nice. As a thank you for the Tourney. Is that ok?” Eve said anxiously.

“Eevee, I appreciate it, I really do, but ...” he paused and laughed weakly, wondering if Eve would understand. “I come from a family that tends to take orders in their work. All this servility, I just … feel like a class traitor, you know?”

“Well … alright then,” Eve said, visibly disappointed but smiling anyway. She sighed heavily. “So … how's it going?”

Josh altered his posture, sitting more upright, bringing his knees together. He switched to his feminine voice, saying: “I think I've got the voice down.”

“Say something else like that,” Eve said, giving him a thoughtful look. Josh waved his hand in an 'I don't know' gesture.

“From the mouths of the Sea the south wind flies, from the sandhills and the stones,
The wailing of the gulls it bears, and at the gate it moans.”

“Hmm ...” she said. “You are a good mimic.”

“Thank you,” Josh said dutifully, “but I'll still speak as little as possible, anyway. To that end, I've devised a simple battle sign language to avoid calling orders too much.”

“It does help that pokémon trainers are an odd lot,” Eve commented. It was something they'd discussed before. Pokémon trainers tended to be individualistic, sometimes to the point of flat-out eccentric. In theory therefore, Josh's own apparent oddness brought on by the pretence shouldn't stand out so much.

“I see you're taking care of your hands,” Eve said. “I like the clear nail polish.”

“I quite like the moisturising, I'll admit,” Josh replied. “I used to have to moisturise a lot when I was marathon-making Metal Earth. You have no idea what copper dust can do to your hands.”

Eve leaned forward, an iniquitous smirk on her face. “Are you looking forward to the make-up?”

“No.”

“We'll keep it subtle!” Eve said, looking at his face as if it were a new piece of timber. “A bit of mascara, a nice light shade of lipstick …”

Her face was at once sunnily enthusiastic and mischievous. “You know there's only so much we can do in the time we have before the Tourney,” Josh said.

“We've got five days to practice,” Eve giggled and winked at him. “I'll make a girl out of you yet.”

*​

'Eclectic' was an apt way to describe the Underground. The street was jammed full of independent, quirky, specialist stores. Among the second-hand book stores, claustrophobic newsagents and coffee shops were specialist fashion boutiques and small-scale eateries. The denizens of the Underground were often just as quirky. Girls in their dojo uniforms roamed the street looking for battles; would-be delinquents lurked in side-alleys. A furlong down from Holly's, the street was narrowed by the press of the berry market. Just beyond that, in a small square, was the coordinator's market. For some reason, Eve paused to browse through Poké Ball Seals. At the edge of the square, a young man in a black beret was reciting poetry.

“Radiant cool, crazy nightmares,
Zen Lacunosa no-where -”

“What are you thinking, Eve?” Josh asked.

“Don't know yet,” Eve said, idly inspecting a pack of star Seals.

“How now, brown bureaucrats -”

Eve looked up at that line, and giggled derisively. “Hey, that's what I was looking for!” she exclaimed, pointing out a store behind the alleged poet.

The storefront read 'Modern Vintage: Discount fashions'. Most of the floorspace and about half of the wall space was taken up by racks of garments. Josh looked around at all the girl's clothes apprehensively. He really hadn't been looking forward to this. Eve looked around cheerfully with a thoughtful “Hmm …”

“Dresses or skirts,” Josh reminded her unenthusiastically.

“Gotta hide those bulges, right?” Eve giggled, browsing through the racks. “Aha!” she said, producing a pleated skirt with a flourish. “Navy blue, nice and inconspicuous.”

“Nice and short,” Josh pointed out.

Eve gave the skirt a brief look. “Fine!” she said petulantly.

“It needs to be something more like, er, this,” he said, selecting a rather longer skirt patterned in green tartan.

“Do you want to look like a schoolgirl?”

Josh suppressed a sigh. I'm supposed to look convincing, not bloody fashionable, he thought irritably, screwing his eyes shut for a few seconds – before quickly darting behind a carousel of dresses. He warily leaned round his cover, so he could surreptitiously see out into the street.

A couple of the girls walking by were frustratingly familiar. The Unovans again, contrastingly casual, one denim-jacketed, the shorter girl now in yoga pants. Neither were looking in his direction, fortunately. From this distance, he could catch some of their conversation.

“Energy root my ass, that was white bryony and that old phoney knew it,” the shorter girl said.

“What’s wrong with Super Potion?”

“Energy root is better,” she persisted. “Fuck it, let’s go to lunch.”

“What the hell, boy scout, you just disappeared,” Eve complained.

“Tigerlilies in the Underground,” Josh explained sotto voce. “Can't be seen buying the clothes I'll be wearing at the Tourney.”

“Now that they're gone can we get back to buying clothes, then?”

“Yeah, fine,” he said, watching them walk away.

“Awesome, because you're going to look so cute in this blouse.”

Josh sighed, but quietly. He wished Eve would be less enthusiastic about it. She seemed to be enjoying the chance to dress him up. Admittedly, she was staying within the parameters of their own design brief, more or less. The key, according to everything they'd read, was to use subtle feminine cues to telegraph 'girl'. Ah, I'm not being fair. She might be having fun, but she was also taking it seriously, no half measures.

“Oh, how about this?” Eve said, pointing something out. It was a beige-coloured sweater dress, long sleeved with a high turtle neck. The garment was probably designed for a woman taller than Josh’s 5’5” frame – on him it would be about thigh-length.

“Paired with some jeans,” Eve continued. “Tight enough to show some boob, long enough to hide everything else?”

“Hmm.” We might get away with that. He inspected the price tag out of habit. “Twenty percent off.”

“Oh,” Eve said, mildly surprised, “that’s useful. What size, do you think?”

“Small! It's always small.”

“That’s really not how women’s sizes work,” Eve said patronisingly. “Here. Try this one on.”

It seemed Eve was much pickier about the fit than she needed to be. After she’d severely shortened his fuse by changing her mind twice about the size and making him try on a little black dress, she finally settled on small.

“So where next?” Josh asked.

“Accessories!” Eve declared brightly. “You're going to be prettier than me when I've finished.”

“You always were ambitious,” he said dryly.

They strolled off northwards, wending their way through the crowds. The afternoon was bringing more shoppers into the Underground, obliging them to walk much closer together. Eve insisted on browsing Pokégears at a trainer tech store.

“The Voyager would be great for you,” she said. “It's just as hard-wearing as your Landranger, but, you know, better.”

“Oh I don't deny it. Still couldn't afford the mobile internet subscription.”

Josh swung his seed canister round to his chest, to keep it from being bumped by passers-by. He quite liked Eve being this close. He liked her familiar scent in this annoying city. Slowly, without quite knowing why, he reached over and gently took her hand. Immediately, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, Eve laced her fingers through his.

“Come on,” she said, towing him away. “We've got to get you a bag, at least.”

*​

Eve was right: the Underground was a good place to hunt for bargains. They'd found a hodge-podge of accessory stalls in a side-alley, just past the red and gold frontage of a Dharmic temple. Eve was haggling over the price of a bag – a small satchel, nicely practical, its sides lined with Poké Ball clasps.

Josh was less sure about the hats, though. Eve picked up a dark blue bowler, spun it and tried it on. “How do I look?”

Adorable. “Absurd.”

“Hmm … you need something different, though.”

Josh inexpertly tucked his hair back behind his ears. At nigh-on two months since his last haircut, it was currently an androgynous mass of chin-length curls - not cutting it on arrival in Goldenrod was a deliberate decision on his part, to avoid faffing around with wigs. It was just as well his hair grew quickly, something he never expected to be grateful for.

Just then, his Pokégear started to ring from his wrist. Josh glanced at the caller ID and promptly silenced it. “Don't need that right now.”

“Your dad was calling again, huh,” Eve said. She picked up a white cloche hat, its bell-shape bedashed in pink floral designs.

“Possibly,” Josh replied shortly. “The less he knows about the Tourney, the better.”

Eve said nothing, turning the cloche over in her hands and looking at the tag unconvincingly. “You can say it,” Josh said.

“Where does the, friction, come from? Between you and your dad,” she said hesitantly.

“Well … Dad likes – insists on things being done his way. And his advice sounds an awful lot like instructions.”

Eve gave him another of her thoughtful looks. She abruptly jammed the hat onto his head. “We'll need to get your hair done,” she said, playing with the curls behind his ear.

*​

Josh yawned at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. It had been a long afternoon, and a shower had gone a long way towards scrubbing off the stress of the city. A quiet shave with a new razor ought to be chill-out time par excellence -

“Hey, take your time with this!” Eve called through the door. “You need to shave as close as you can!”

“Eve! I at least know how to shave!”

But there was a nettling, pink-haired, luxio prowling around outside. He supposed the afternoon could have been worse. The Underground was very much a place for misfits, subcultures and assorted square pegs. In that context, a young man going into a hairdresser's for a distinctly feminine haircut wasn't all that unusual. And since I am a square peg …

He paused his shaving to consider his new haircut. The best time to assess it wasn't while pulling shaving faces, admittedly. His stubborn curls had been relaxed into a shoulder-length cascade of fierce waves that constantly threatened to tighten up into ringlets. Rather worryingly, the hairdresser had managed to find more than one grey strand hiding amongst the black.

Josh took his time finishing his shave, ignoring the sounds of Eve's impatience from the main room. This kind of hyper-close shaving takes time, so sit down, hinny, he thought. He spent some time shaving his forearms, contemplating the array of cosmetics he didn’t really understand. What was a face cleanser, and what made it different to soap? Why would anyone need a face scrub? He turned his attention to the jeans hanging from the peg on the door. A pair of Eve’s, no surprise, but otherwise unremarkable. They felt awkwardly tight, though, compared to his own jeans. There's not enough room for me in these.

“Alright, I'm decent,” Josh said, unlocking the bathroom door.

Eve gave the jeans a critical look. “The bulge is more noticeable than I'd like,” she said.

“I don't know whether to be pleased about that,” he said dryly, firmly pushing her chin up and her gaze away from his bulge.

“Oh! Guess what arrived today,” Eve said. She beckoned him over to her bunk – there was a cardboard box on the end. “Behold. Your new tits.”

His 'new tits' turned out to be a bra, pre-filled as it were, with a pair of foam breast forms. “Are you sure about the size?” he said doubtfully.

“Hey, they have to be big enough to be noticed. Besides, you'll only be a bit bigger than me.”

Josh made a noise somewhere between a sigh and a groan. “Alright, pass 'em here.”

He turned the whole apparatus over in his hands quizzically. The foam forms were ensconced within a soft cotton covering – Josh was faintly amused to see that Eve had fixed them into the bra with a neat surgical suture.

“They ought to be a modest C on your chest,” Eve commented.

“I'm positive they can't just be made of foam.”

“I bought the weighted kind. So they'll feel slightly more lifelike on your chest. The heft feels pretty real to me,” Eve explained, prodding him playfully in the midriff.

“I'll take your word for it,” he said, refusing to be baited.

“Come on, let's get you fitted.”

Reluctantly, Josh slipped the thing onto his shoulders, rather grateful that for once Eve wasn't making this more awkward. I'm never going to get used these, he thought, as Eve adjusted the straps with a series of deft tugs.

“I really appreciate this sweetling.”

“Yeah, I know,” Josh said in his feminine voice.

“Do you want to leave it a bit longer?”

“No. No, let's do this,” he said, arching his back in discomfort. “No point in waiting.”

*​

It was Osturday evening, and the L-train rattled through the tunnel with a constant loud tak-tak tak-tak, tak-tak tak-tak. The L was bustling, as usual. Heart fluttering like a panicking butterfree, Melissa Evans blended into the corner of the train, or at least she hoped so. Melissa Evans was a pseudonym, because Josh liked the name Melissa. Someone looking for it would notice that he was squeezing the grab rail like he meant to crush it in his fist. The thought that everyone on the L was scrutinising him dominated his thoughts, despite most of the passengers determinedly staring at the floor or a smartphone screen. Ordinary glances had a way of transmuting into searching gazes – except they weren’t, because they glanced away again.

To think, some people dealt with this all the time.

“The next station is: The Underground. Please mind the gap between the train and the platform.”

Josh stepped out onto the platform, Screwball hovering at his shoulder, and knew he shouldn't drive a hobnailed boot into the instep of a trainer who barged him aside. It was better to be ignored anyway. He started to stride off to the Underground archway, till the tightness of his jeans reminded him to change to a feminine walk. His magnemite was unusually well-behaved this evening. It completely ignored a passing jolteon, hovering obediently at his shoulder. It seemed to understand that he was on edge, left hand constantly resting on Ivysaur’s Poké Ball clipped to his new satchel.

The Underground, the place for square pegs and misfits, was the logical place to start being Melissa. This all felt so strange. It was the hair tickling the back of his neck, it was the smoothness of his arms, the constant conscious remembering to look feminine. Look like a girl, smell like a girl. The smell of the vanilla body spray was getting on his nerves, the weight of the breast forms on his chest strange.

He circled around a skirmish between girls from rival dojos, grateful for the distraction. In the Underground, people just ignore you. ‘As above, so below’, or so he hoped, anyway. Josh rounded a corner and stopped, momentarily lost. He was sure this was the third street named Solidago Arcade, and still not the Solidago Arcade he was looking for. There was a noisy sports bar on his left, the sound of the airing pokémon battle and associated cheering throbbing out into the half-empty street. Down on the corner by Malapert Alley was what he belatedly realised was a bordello.

He was pretty sure he was too far to the north. After a moment’s thought he decided to cut west through the alley, back towards Subterra Boulevard. Suddenly something tried to drop onto his head. Josh instinctively ducked – there was a brief impression of wiry, untamed fur. Whatever it was landed behind him, screeching with thwarted rage. Screwball instantly fried it, Thundershock throwing hard black shadows across the alley.

“Give me the fucking purse!” someone demanded, emerging from the jagged shadows. Josh kicked out, intending to put a foot in her stomach and instead glancing her shin. She yelled in pain regardless.

Josh tried to focus on his assailant – a girl in a rhinestone-spangled jacket, huge eyebrows, huge gold earrings, face twisted up with pain, red-tinted from the bordello window-lights. He glanced sideways at the girl’s pokémon. A mankey, lying face down and smouldering.

“Fucking slag!” she hissed. She thrust a hand into her jacket pocket.

Reaching for a knife? Another Poké Ball? “Thunder Wave!”

A brief tangle of Thunder Wave fizzed out from the vicinity of his shoulder, leaving neon afterimages scribbled in front of his eyes. He heard the sharp clatter of the knife hitting the concrete. The girl went down like ragdoll, her attempted scream came out strangled.

[Aggressor neutralised,] Screwball commented.

“Come,” Josh said curtly, stepping quickly over the whimpering girl and disappearing down the alley. As soon as he reached the boulevard on the western side he walked a couple hundred yards, crossed the street, and waited for his heartbeat to slow down.

It took a moment for Josh to fully comprehend what just happened. He realised he was feeling much more angry than scared, and much less guilty than either. This damn city … in hindsight he should have expected some sort of trouble. He probably wouldn’t have done that before the ninetales had tried to rip his arm off. It was hardly gallant to Thunder Wave the girl, but it was hardly ladylike to tell her mankey to unscrew his head, either.

He belatedly realised something else. People didn’t call men slags.

Next Chapter: Evelina of Victory

 

[diamondpearl876]

National Park hummed with the noise and activity of the Hoenn Festival, gently warming in the glad spring sunshine.

I'm not sure what "warming in" means, to be honest. It's probably a British phrase, but alas. I'm torn on whether the word "gently" is even needed - you set the tone just fine without it.

It was Saturday afternoon, and the smell of the morning's rain was rising off the turf.

Might flow better as "the smell of morning rain".

“A stronger girl than me,” Josh said, haughtily turning away.

I might just be tired, but did you not mean "A girl stronger than me"?

A flygon beat its scintillating wings, drawing an appreciative gasp from its admiring crowd.

I like the wording overall here, though the adjective "admiring" seems redundant.

The festival was a kaleidoscope of Hoenn culture – stands selling bacon-and-potato stew, pokéblock cases, leppa dragoncakes, Go-Goggles. Josh found himself gravitating towards the craft stalls. He paused to check out a display of Fallarbor glassware; painted flutes and delicate wind-bells chiming sweet and clear.

If I remember right, you worked a lot trying to figure out this section, and I really like the end result here.

A young pyrite sableye stared at Josh disturbingly with its fool's gold eyes. Once it realised he was looking back its goblin-grin widened slightly. Come into the sunlight and grin like that.

Did you know I absolutely love whenever sableye show up in fics? They're either downright hilarious or utterly creepy, and I like both interpretations of the species. If you didn't know before, you know now.

“Aw,” he said helplessly. “Sold. Sold, damn you.”

The whole roselia scene was flawless. I couldn't help but smile and laugh by the end of it. XD

Meowth was on it in an instant. Watching that maniac assault reminded Josh of why he never liked that furry thug. Out of battle he acted like a rogue with a heart of gold, all déshabille and easy grace, attempting to charm every girl he came across. Give him an opponent, and he became a callous little savage.

I wonder where this negative depiction of meowth comes from, hmm.

“Alright, let's see what you think of this one,” Green Apron laughed.

The description-used-as-a-name thing kind of threw me off, since I don't really consider a green apron to be an important/noteworthy part of a character's description (even if you did point it out earlier on, it was overshadowed by all the action going on). I have a feeling you'll be using more nameless characters like this, so be careful, I guess?

It's strongly developed

Should be "its"

Josh still hadn't really had a chance to see her in battle. She'd modified her armour, discarding some of the anti-Poké Ball twigs in favour of spongy bark and leaf litter.

I don't think Pineco's had much screentime up until now, but just this bit alone makes me wish it had a lot more. Sounds interesting.

Grovyle was faster, crossing the field with a blindingly fast Quick Attack.

The two "fast"s so close together is a bit jarring and breaks the flow of not only the sentence, but the battle (at least for me it does).

“That's ok,” Eve said mildly. She turned to the crowd with a certain dramatic flair. “Goldenrod City! I challenge you to battle me. One-on-one! Consecutive battles! Who will beat my Pineco?”

And you call me dramatic, GEEZ.

Suit yourself, you hydreigon. He tried to go back to his absinthe, and think about possible Recycle strategies. That was easier said than done – his thoughts kept sliding back to Eve. When he was halfway down his absinthe his Pokégear rang again – he immediately hung up when it turned out to be Eve breathing fire at him.

I'm not going to apologise this time.

Can't say I was a fan of the argument overall - too fast-paced, and Eve may have a temper, but she literally did not even give Josh two seconds for him to explain himself before she blew up at him. And the dialogue makes me think that, if Eve only heard Josh's side, she should have picked up on what was wrong by thinking and putting two and two together.

“They were thorough lessons,” Josh said sourly.

Imagining his tone of voice and facial expression while saying this made me lol. SUCH A BITTER BOY.

 

[Persephone]

...so I read this for a third time recently and apparently forgot to review?

To start with, I think a fair bit of my last read through's criticism needs a bit modified. Only a few chapters seemed blatantly too short. Otherwise they seemed pretty well paced. Really the only thing that caught my eye was a pretty massive plot hole:

Josh implies he could probably find a job utilizing his degree in a distant city in the region, but didn't want to leave because family, economic security—things like that. But if he's already willing to uproot himself to go on a journey, why not just move?

Other than that my only new remark:

Melissa Evans of Marion Town

Can't tell if odd coincidence or what.

 

[Sike Saner]

“Enough!” Josh commanded. “Have you two idiots forgotten that the only reason I'm entering this damn Tourney is for Eve's sake?” Both angels opened their mouths simultaneously. “I said enough! I'm not arguing with a pair of damn metaphors, now go away.”

This entire scene was bizarre, and oddly amusing. Josh seems to have quite the imagination.

She picked up a white cloche hat

Dear god in heaven I read that as "cloaca hat".