Bulbagarden Forums

Becoming a vampire sounds cool--eternal unlife, turning into a bat--but it really isn't. Here's what you need to keep in mind:
*It turns out being repulsed by religious iconography isn't a mild inconvenience the hero uses in the final moment but deeply inconvenient at all times.
*You may or may not be killed by the sunlight. If possible please ask the vampire who bit you if your the type that dies by sun, is weakened by sun, sparkles in sunlight, or whatever. If your vampire dad or mom is deadbeat you're in trouble and--I know, this is shocking--records show that 47% of new vampire parents don't stick around for when their child raises from the grave thirsty for blood.
*At a certain point every one of your tax returns is audited.
*Turns out a bunch of other supernatural entities exist and you're pretty low on the pecking order. You can lord it over zombies, ghouls, and goblins, sure. But ghosts don't really care, and demons, sorcerers, and the Unseelie think you're a joke. Werewolves are sort of an even match but they instinctively hate you. Stock up on silverware.
*You do not get a complementary cape. You must find a cape and purchase it yourself, with your own money.
*Your Transylvanian castle is actually annoying to have. It's dusty, in a terrible state of disrepair, the architecture changes every year or so, and frankly? The flea men are making fun of you behind your back. But if you don't spend at least 180 days a year with it as your primary residence it stops being tax deductible.
*Being unable to enter a private dwelling without invitation is a pretty big problem if you're not suave and charismatic. Dracula had a much easier time feasting on beautiful youth than Count Orlock is what I'm saying.

So have a happy Halloween and remember; if a stranger asks if you'd like them to bite you and turn you into a vampire, be mindful and say no!

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