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COMPLETE: Rival's Story

Agreed. This story is seriously lacking, and I'm not quite sure how or why it has so many fans.

Gastly's Mama, feel free to PM and I can give you some pointers.

obvious_troll.preview.jpg
Hmm....
 
Agreed. This story is seriously lacking, and I'm not quite sure how or why it has so many fans.

Gastly's Mama, feel free to PM and I can give you some pointers.


Ok, to start, YES I am biased. I love this fic. But who are you to say something like this? Have you read the entire thing? Do you have proof it is lacking something? Listen, feel free to PM me and maybe I'll teach you,

A: How to read

B: How not to be a troll

and of course C: How to lighten up on the ego.

Wheels
 
Ok, I'm going to try and stop this before more then three people start flaming.

The Pokemon Guru, while I believe that may have come out wrong, don't make what you say sound like it's superior. The way Gastly's Mama is currently writing works perfectly, which should be indicated by the 80+ chapters the story currently has. Gama wouldn't have bothered with that many chapters if the story wasn't that popular. As he said, constructive critisism is acceptable, but not "Oh, this is lacking, PM me and I will show you how it's done!" It will attract angered fans and alot of flaming.

Wheels, Articuno26 and QuestionableTendency, I'm aware his comment angered you, but that does not mean respond and potentially start a flame war between yourselves and him. If someone does say something like that, it's better to just ignore it and leave it be. If posts like that continue, merely report spam to the admins and they will take care of it. That way, you cannot be bollocked for spamming the thread and potentially be suspended as well.

I am not an admin and I'm not trying to assert control. I'm merely trying to prevent the thread being dragged down and locked by admins because of one comment.
 
Haha, thanks for all the support everyone. For the record, I don't take issue with him disliking Rival's Story, he is well within his right to do so, I just don't like the way he's acting. Anyway, just so you know, I'm going away from the 24th July - 7th August and will not be posting in that time. I'm gonna post today and on the 24th, then the drought begins! So you'll get the Bruno battle and you'll have to wait for Agatha.


Chapter 81

Blue sent Exeggutor out into the field and prayed that Bruno’s Onix would not be as difficult for him to defeat as Brock’s was.

“Solar Beam!” ordered Blue.

“Rock Slide,” retorted Bruno.

Exeggutor started charging a Solar Beam as a torrent of rocks fell down onto it from above. The Rock Slide attack didn’t do a massive amount of damage but Blue was concerned by the fact that Exeggutor was now a sitting duck, just waiting to be attacked again. Blue knew Exeggutor would easily be able to withstand a second Rock Slide but he suspected that if this Solar Beam did not take out Onix, Exeggutor would end up losing this battle. The amount of time that Solar Beam took to charge was clearly a huge disadvantage.

“Again,” instructed Bruno simply.

Onix let loose another set of rocks as Exeggutor prepared to finally sent the Grass typed beam of energy at its opponent. As Blue had predicted, the second set of rocks did not knock Exeggutor out but did but it well under half health, it certainly wouldn’t be able to withstand another two of those attacks. Very soon after being hit, Exeggutor fired the Solar Beam attack that it had been charging and, to Blue’s delight, managed to take out Onix in a single hit. Blue noted that he shouldn’t have been so worried – Onix had a double vulnerability to Grass typed attacks and Solar Beam was the most powerful Grass typed attack there was, with the possible exclusion of the ‘Frenzy Plant’ attack that Red’s Venusaur knew.

Bruno gave a congratulatory nod to Blue in recognition of his victory and threw out his next Poké Ball, which exploded to reveal a Hitmonchan.

“Bad move!” Blue couldn’t help but exclaim, “Exeggutor is dual type Psychic – Hitmonchan’s also weak against it!”

Bruno did not reply to Blue, instead he simply gave his Pokémon a command.

“Fire Punch!” yelled Bruno.

Blue didn’t even have a chance to give Exeggutor an order before Hitmonchan darted forwards with a flaming fist and landed a powerful hit on Exeggutor, instantly knocking it out.

“Blue,” addressed Bruno as Blue retreated Exeggutor to its Poké Ball, “May I suggest that if you feel your opponent makes a mistake you should attempt to take advantage of it instead of wasting your time pointing it out to them and giving them a chance to correct it?”

Blue said nothing in response to this, Bruno was right. If Blue had ordered a Psychic instead of gloating to Bruno, Exeggutor might have gotten in there first and taken out Hitmonchan. Even if Exeggutor had failed to take out Hitmonchan with a Solar Beam attack, it would certainly have dealt it a lot of damage. Blue now only had four Pokémon left thanks to his arrogance and he still had two opponents left and he had only taken out one of Bruno’s Pokémon. At this rate, there was no chance he was going to be able to become the Champion – he once again cursed his decision not to buy any items before challenging the Elite Four.

“Please select a Pokémon, Blue,” requested Bruno calmly.

It was strange that Blue found Bruno’s serenity admirable since Erika’s had annoyed him so much. Blue promised himself that he’d get his head out of the clouds and more in the battle but then reflected that he had made that promise many times during his journey already and still he couldn’t seem to stop thinking about unimportant issues during battles – it had cost him so much already and yet he never stopped doing it. Blue forced himself to stop thinking about how he could stop stopping to think so often and grabbed a Poké Ball off his belt – Pidgeot.

Blue threw out Pidgeot’s Poké Ball and it shrieked a cry of energy, indicating that it was itching to start battling against the Elite Four, having yet to be used in Blue’s Pokémon League challenge.

“Thunder Punch,” ordered Bruno.

“Fly!” commanded Blue.

Fortunately for Blue, Pidgeot was faster than Hitmonchan and managed to get into the air before Hitmonchan’s electric fist could connect with it. Blue was fairly confident that Pidgeot’s Fly would be able to take Hitmonchan out in one move, but he wasn’t certain.

Predictably, Bruno ordered another Thunder Punch to hit Pidgeot when it landed, assuming Hitmonchan withstood the attack. Blue hoped it wouldn’t. However, to Blue’s dismay, when Pidgeot swooped down and hit Hitmonchan with the strongest Fly manoeuvre that it could muster, it wasn’t enough to knock the Punch Pokémon out and it immediately hit back with a Thunder Punch. Fortunately, Pidgeot is also able to withstand the super effective hit against it, meaning Blue still had the opportunity not to lose another Pokémon. Blue began to think but then stopped himself straight away – he had promised himself he wouldn’t get lost in thought anymore, he knew what move he had to use anyway.

“Aerial Ace!” commanded Blue.

It was perfect. He knew Pidgeot was faster than Hitmonchan, that Aerial Ace never failed to land a hit and that Hitmonchan was on very low health already. The attack knocked Hitmonchan backwards, sending it unconscious to the floor.

“Hm,” said Bruno as his Pokémon tumbled to the floor.

Bruno casually selected another Pokémon from his belt without even the slightest look of annoyance on his face. Blue envied him, he could never be so level-headed in a battle. Blue thought over what Bruno’s next Pokémon could be – he specialised mainly in Fighting types, which were vulnerable to Pidgeot but he also had had an Onix. Blue suspected his remaining Pokémon would all be Fighting types, he was unlikely to have a second non-Fighting type on his team, so Pidgeot would be at a type advantage. Even if Bruno had another Pokémon with a tricky move like Thunder Punch, Pidgeot might still be able to do it a lot of damage before being knocked out itself. Blue considered whether that would even be worth it anyway – did he really want to take on his grandmother with only three Pokémon left?

All of this fell into insignificance as Blue heard a familiar roar – it was another Onix.

Blue's Team: Charizard, Pidgeot, Exeggutor, Alakazam, Gyarados, Rhyhorn
Blue’s Box: Metapod, Beedrill, Meowth, Bellsprout, Grimer, Aerodactyl
Blue's Pokédex: 24 Caught, 92 Seen
Blue’s Badges: 8
 
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loved the bruno battle so far but I really thought he would use a steelix. I know, I know; it's based on red and blue but in leaf green bruno's rematch sees him with two steelix and the way he mention johto just made me think he would have an onix and steelix. oh well.

I have to say though, I was a tad disapointed with the last part of the battle with lorelei. I loved the jynx and lapras part it's the slowbro and cloyster battle I didn't like.
I just think that you could have shown slowbro using some attacks and maybe having a deeper phycic vs phycic battle. Also I thought maybe slowbro could use withdraw to counter shockwave.
The same with cloyster. But other than that I think the elite four battles are awesome and honestly can't wait for the next chapter :D
 
I just finished reading every chapter "Pokémon Tower" and further.

I must say, it's obvious how much you've improved and I'm sorry I abandoned my reading of it. Overall, It's really well done!

ONE PROBLEM, THOUGH.
Haha, thanks for all the support everyone. For the record, I don't take issue with him disliking Rival's Story, he is well within his right to do so, I just don't like the way he's acting. Anyway, just so you know, I'm going away from the 24th July - 7th August and will not be posting in that time. I'm gonna post today and on the 24th, then the drought begins! So you'll get the Bruno battle and you'll have to wait for Agatha.
You just gave away that Blue wins. Either that or Agatha battles him after he loses.
OJAIWOHFOADIFOHDFL:
 
I have to say though, I was a tad disapointed with the last part of the battle with lorelei. I loved the jynx and lapras part it's the slowbro and cloyster battle I didn't like.
I just think that you could have shown slowbro using some attacks and maybe having a deeper phycic vs phycic battle. Also I thought maybe slowbro could use withdraw to counter shockwave.
The same with cloyster. But other than that I think the elite four battles are awesome and honestly can't wait for the next chapter :D

Yeah, to be perfectly honest, I was disappointed with it myself. The reasons for my laziness were:

1) I wrote the chapter in a rush - I didn't want to miss another deadline, so I just made sure I wrote something.

2) I wanted Lorelei to be over with already so that I could move on to the other members of the Elite Four.

I know they're pretty poor excuses. Sorry about that, I will do my best not to be so lazy in the future.

You have earned another reader, madamsir.

Other than that error - that's great! Thank you very much! And I understand that my username makes this matter confusing =P For an explanation, see my first blog entry which is entitled 'On the Origin of the Species: Gastly's Mama'

Very good part :) I am looking forward to see what this Onix does to Pidgeot! How many more chapters do you predict there'll be?

I will attempt an estimation. Blue's battle with Bruno may or may not come to an end in the next chapter, if it doesn't, it will by the chapter after that, so that's 2-3 chapters, I'd say about 2-3 for Agatha too. Then you've got 3-4 for Lance. I'd say 3-5 for Red. Then, I won't say anything about the post-Pokemon League chapters other than an estimation of numbers, which will be something like 5-6 chapters.

Overall then that's 15-21 chapters remaining, so there'll be somewhere around 100 chapters total.
 
anyway i cant wait till next chapter do you have any other fics :)
 
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