The chapter is written from the perspective of one of the opponents of the main character who is about to go on his own quest. I wrote it to see how this threesome work, if only to get a better grip on them. And why not post it to see how others think of it? On the timeline of Two Perfect Cowards, the tree hut chapter takes places right before the start. To get a better understanding of your characters I think it is a good practice to write about an average day in their lives, it may lead to interesting surprises (such as the tree hut that symbolizes something).You might have better luck with a shorter sample here (not required, just that you might get quicker/more specific feedback on smaller samples). Question for feedback, though: is this the beginning of the chapter you're working on or a condensed version of the whole chapter? Not sure you mean when you say "sample chapter" - it looks like a preview of the beginning, but just want to be sure.
"Humans are not supposed to pent-up" what exactly are we not supposed to pent-up? it'd be good to specify or maybe say "be pent-up" if you want to be more general, I think that would fit better.
That's one of the bits that confused me. I blamed my ignorance about Hetalia, but after looking it up I still didn't grasp it.
Oh, that was a bit rude of me. I edited the post.Either way, we do ask that you provide commentary for the person above you if no one else has commented yet. ^^