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dig's official monthly horoscopes

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Aries - Stay indoors whilst the moon is out.
Taurus - Less salt in your diet.
Gemini - You need to schedule a doctor visit.
Cancer - Phone home.
Leo - Don't worry about anything, until January 23rd. Then worry.
Virgo - Withdraw all savings, distribute amongst friends.
Libra - Adopt a new pet.
Scorpio - That gum you like is coming back in style.
Sagittarius - Sleep less.
Capricorn - Your best friend is not your friend.
Aquarius - I wouldn't go swimming.
Pisces - Buy something just for you.
 
  • Thread starter
  • Staff
  • #8
Feburary 2021

Aries - When it rains, it snows.
Taurus - The Jackal is not to be believed, or trusted.
Gemini - Brown is your colour.
Cancer - Don't don't do it.
Leo - You should take out a life insurance policy. You'll know why on Feb 23rd.
Virgo - You should make an effort to plant tomatoes.
Libra - That book you didn't finish should be read.
Scorpio -Your new friend is bald, with a beard and a collection of beetles.
Sagittarius - Sleep less.
Capricorn - You are immune to all spells.
Aquarius - You need to buy a rain coat.
Pisces - Gather two, then see what happens.
 
It's that time of year again; March

Aries - Buy a new pair of shoes.
Taurus - Command the centre.
Gemini - Close any windows you may have, then open them wide.
Cancer - You need a haircut.
Leo - Live a carefree life.
Virgo - Place flammable objects near your loved ones.
Libra - Adopt a child.
Scorpio - Don't touch your eyes so much
Sagittarius - Sleep less.
Capricorn - Skip that wedding.
Aquarius - Invest in GameStop
Pisces - Switch to wholegrain.
 
Apparently, I've been pre-emptively achieving my zodiac's goals without meaning to.

I keep taking all-nighters even when I don't have any reason to.
 
OFFICIAL WEEKLY HORACE COPE, BI-ANNUALy, EVEERY MONTH!

Aries - Shave your underarms.
Taurus - Capture a spider.
Gemini - Really concentrate on the poetry of your soul
Cancer - Your fingers are the most important
Leo - There's twelve months in a calendar.
Virgo - Walk over the grass, don't avoid it.
Libra - Fund someone's dreams
Scorpio - Do exactly as you have been doing!
Sagittarius - Go to bed earlier.
Capricorn - Your lucky number is 36. However, don't play the lottery.
Aquarius - Don't worry, she'll be fine.
Pisces - Your mum called, why didn't you pick up?
 
OFFICIAL WEEKLY HORACE COPE, BI-ANNUALy, EVEERY MONTH!

Aries - Shave your underarms.
Taurus - Capture a spider.
Gemini - Really concentrate on the poetry of your soul
Cancer - Your fingers are the most important
Leo - There's twelve months in a calendar.
Virgo - Walk over the grass, don't avoid it.
Libra - Fund someone's dreams
Scorpio - Do exactly as you have been doing!
Sagittarius - Go to bed earlier.
Capricorn - Your lucky number is 36. However, don't play the lottery.
Aquarius - Don't worry, she'll be fine.
Pisces - Your mum called, why didn't you pick up?
Can I shave if I'm not an Aries? :enzap::confused::coffee::eek::bulbagarden:

I would make a Facebook mom reply but I don't have the brain juice to do that.
 
Please note: The thread is from 2 years ago.
Please take the age of this thread into consideration in writing your reply. Depending on what exactly you wanted to say, you may want to consider if it would be better to post a new thread instead.
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