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Mari's Chaos Dimension (The Everything Blog)

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aaaa I want this so much!!! BABYMETAL is a group I like a lot, I really enjoy their music. The urge to impulse buy this shirt is tempting...
 
A quick announcement for the books:

Hi, I'm Mari and I'm genderfluid. I use they/them pronouns, but she/her pronouns are also acceptable!

I've been thinking about the possibility of being genderfluid for months, but I think I am ready to say it. I don't know why, but I feel really nervous. But I also feel freed if that makes any sense? I feel more masculine or even like a boy at times or some times I feel more feminine or like a girl, and it feels so nice to be able to have a word to explain it.

so uhh, yeah thats it. Hi!
 
Thank you so much tako! (btw, do you prefer tako or lisia more?) I really hope I'll be happier. I already kind of am, knowing that I am not alone in my experience.

what about marine biology interests you!?
Well, if I had to sum it up it would be that, well, marine animals are just really cool! From whales to crustaceans, its so cool to see how diverse the animals are there and how they have adapted over time. And there is so much we don't know about he ocean either!
 
gasp no more frogs!?

i might change mine soon, maybe????
sadly, the frogs are no more. Morty and ghost types have possessed me currently into making this fast change

Also ooo, I can't wait to see if you do change your layout!
 
Maybe! I'm still looking into careers, I either want to be a translator in japan or a marine biologist in america. It's still hard to choose currently
I know you shouldn’t burn the candle at both ends so to speak, but you could always try marine biology while doing translations remotely and see how you feel! I have a friend who does translations for visual novels and the like and she does it all here in the US, so it’s definitely an option.

AND MORTY LOVE!! A gorgeous layout ♡
 
I know you shouldn’t burn the candle at both ends so to speak, but you could always try marine biology while doing translations remotely and see how you feel! I have a friend who does translations for visual novels and the like and she does it all here in the US, so it’s definitely an option.
I'll try that out, that seems really interesting!
AND MORTY LOVE!! A gorgeous layout ♡
Thank you! My mind if filled with morty right now and I cannot stop it lmao
 
a teensy weensy little vent, I don't think I need to tag for it but proceed with caution since it lightly mentions a little bit of my trauma.

So lately I've been really feeling alone. I know that I have friends, but I wouldn't say that I have a mutual best friend. I feel like I'm complaining, but just due to my trauma and lack of social awareness sometimes, it's really hard for me to keep friends both offline and online. I'm worried that I'll lose the friends I've made, or just be alone forever. I don't really know how to open up about these feelings without making people uncomfortable, so I am sorry if I am.

I know I keep on saying this, but how do people make friends? Will I just be alone forever? Am I going to descend into a philosophical mess again?

Sorry again for complaining if I am, I know I probably shouldn't be feeling this way. I do have friends, and my family loves me. So why do I keep on feeling so alone?


Okay vent over, you are all now safe.
 
I will be sad and you cannot stop me.
—————​
Vent spoilered because I don’t want this blog to get too flooded with vents

I keep on running away from things (which is my fault) and then I get upset when people don’t want me back because of my issues with staying. I wish I wasn’t like this, I wish I wasn’t so afraid of getting hurt. I wish I wasn’t so afraid of staying in one place.

I’ve been to a lot of different internet communities, and each and every one I’ve ran away from due to my own stupidity. People don’t want me back which is entirely in their right. I just wish it didn’t hurt so much, I just want to avoid everything.

My family, mainly my brother, keep on pushing for me to leave the internet. I don’t want to leave, I want to stay. A part of me worries though that I’ll just repeat history, I’ll leave and then when I come back people won’t want me.

I just don’t know, I can’t sleep because I’m too busy sitting in an ocean of self pity because I can’t get over myself and do something about it. I’m sorry for venting, I just sound selfish and rude when I read this over.

To shorten it, I have a problem I keep on doing nothing to fix.
 
Echoing Lisia here, big agree, if they act like that they aren't worth the effort, you have better crowds to hang in than people who are like that, Mari. You deserve much better. If being on the internet helps you there's no point in leaving, right?
 
Yeah I agree with others; I think it sounds like you've been in all the wrong places. If people don't want you back because you weren't around for a while, its their problem, not yours. I don't know you super well but you seem pretty awesome and those communities who don't want you around are clearly losing out.
If you don't want to leave you don't need to! There's a lot of stupid on the internet in certain places (and that stupid is most certainly not you), but there are some really great places like here where you'll always be welcome.
 
Please note: The thread is from 2 years ago.
Please take the age of this thread into consideration in writing your reply. Depending on what exactly you wanted to say, you may want to consider if it would be better to post a new thread instead.
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