CyberPika

I'm not doing that I only said it once and it was meant as a joke.

Why should I be bitter xD it just means I have to work harder next time nothing else.

Happy mutual birthday

You're Welcome

Happy Birthday!

He's not mean on the contrary it's just that he's that good of a writer and really popular so everyone wants to surpass him.

It's hard to get them since you have to win it takes luck and it depends on the judge that reads your story.

Have you been stalking my conversations?

It's just a playful thing xD sure I want to beat Legacy but everyone wants to however you shouldn't make it your sole purpose for writing.

You know instead of worrying on beating someone on review you should worry about beating someone on quality and popularity reviews don't help if people don't like it.

But yes you are allowed to most writers in the workshop do it however it depends on the person whether they want to read or not and even if they decide to it also depends on them whether they like it or not so asking is only a part of it.

What don't I count xD

Trust me sadly I've learned that the number of review doesn't reflect on the writing itself AceTrainer14's fics are an example most of his fics are over 20 chapters long or so but he barely gets any reviews and his chapters are top notch.

You know I'm not you're not trying to but when you say it like that you sound like you're making fun of me.

Most the reviews in yours are yours as well.

Second of all this is not my first story it's my third story the last one which in turn had more than 450 reviews up to the point of its end and got me a total of three different awards. Also my story has as many reviews as yours however you've only actually started getting reviews that were actual formal criticism and praise while the most of them were harsh. Then there's the fact that you have twice as many chapters as I do meaning that I've gotten more reviews with less chapters and most of my reviews are praise.

And sorry for that but your comments sounded "mean" so you should also pick your words because people might misinterpret them. You've gotten better yes but you're still way too far from reaching the top.

Actually you still have a lot of way to go since most of your reviews were bad ones but you have been getting better there is still a long road ahead for you though.

Your improvement has been impressive. Keep it up and who knows?

Hey, how's it going?

Are you willing to do it?

Tell me something I'm going to put this two paragraphs down.

He normally would have enjoy it more except Ash felt a little sad watching Misty and Brock hold hands. Ash felt left out now that his two best friends were dating.

This was what you wrote

Ash tried to smile, but his heart wasn't in it. A sense of loneliness settled in the pit of his stomach like a stone as he watched his two best friends, holding hands and laughing without a care in the world, walk ahead of him, oblivious to the sudden change in his demeanor. He wondered how long they had been together, and how much they had even thought of him. Bitterly, he also wondered if there wasn't something he could have done to prevent becoming so alienated from them.

And this is what Feliciano wrote to show you how it should've been. You see what she did, she described what he was feeling right down to the bone without actually saying the word feeling why? because a chapter isn't supposed to be a quick read it's supposed to be something that people can get into and that's hard when there are only a few lines.

I don't expect you to get better from dusk till dawn god knows I didn't since I grew slowly but if I was able to do it with english being my second language then anyone can. My advise read stories and actually pay attention to them I don't mean to base yourself on what some stories did just read them and note down.

Also when you're describing feelings it isn't as easy as saying felt for example when you dip into the water what do you feel "you feel wet?" no aside from that a person's body tends to get cold due to the feeling of the water against the skin your hair hits your forehead and you can also feel the waves of water coursing along you legs because they're under the water. This is what describing feelings is it's to describe it in clear detail instead of words.

Sadly that's up to you really I mean people talk like it's easy to get better but it's not and it all depends on the author this is why an author needs to read and review.

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Criticism happens, dude. Like everyone else has said, suck it up. If you put up work that's of a low standard, people are naturally going to give you suggestions to help you improve. It's no attack on you personally. In fact, it's just the opposite. Please stop whining and complaining about what people have said to you, because if you do that - especially in the threads of other people who have nothing to do with it - it will continue to give people the impression that you are spoiled, selfish and childish.

Again it's not bad it's criticism.

http://bmgf.bulbagarden.net/f244/pokemon-new-generation-new-beginnings-finished-31171/ read the first reviews I got and tell me if they're nice?

Cyber you can't be blind tell me have you actually read their stories if so then tell me what do you see different they've got paragraphs filled to the brim with description about the surroundings and the character's feelings and reactions and emotion in each one they're characters talk like real people they say and think stuff that people in real life would think and relate to.

Your paragraphs aren't even that most of them are just lines listing what the characters are doing not actually describing and that's a big no-no when it comes to writing. When your characters talk it feels like they're just saying generic things people can't relate because they talk as if they didn't have anything better to say and as if the plot was just pushing them along to say it because it needs to move.

Last but not least their chapters have build up you can't accomplish what you want in three lines at least not in real life a lot of things have to happen before that there has to be more talking more emotion to it.

These are all things that you can get better at by guess what taking and accepting the "mean words" that people tell you they're not mean words they're advise how can you become a writer if you don't get better? tell me? in case you didn't notice you can't just suddenly say "hey I want to be a writer" and expect for everything you write to be golden I should know I learned it the hard way.