I see. Not sure if I will, since then I'd want to read the entire Galacticverse, but it's probably the first one I would read if so. Finally, one really last thing I forgot to mention but swear I did: good job making avocado sort of canon.
And peer review sent out! As much detail as I went into and how much of everything I looked at, I can't help but feel I missed one or two things, so lemme know if there's anything else or if you want me to take a second pass through for another draft.
Like, Clair felt like she was being reasonable, if with a bit prejudice and personal bias. Not wanting to throw her followers over the fire to help someone else with their problem? That pretty much won me over to her side. Meanwhile, Daisy and Trevor felt like they were "doing it for themselves" and came across as pushy and arrogant and know-it-alls and dicks and more with all the other stuff from prior. For that matter, seeing her for the first time, Kris felt a bit entitled, self-superior, and bitter. Came across as someone who's been through a lot and became a worse person for it. And/or is breaking down.
Always happy to give feedback. Also one part that didn't fit because 2000 character VM limit: it made me dislike some of the side-characters more, especially Daisy and friend. But yeah, am all caught up now and should be ready for whatever it is you got coming up next unless you already have it taken care of.
MARATHON COMPLETE. 70-73, I beieve this will be! More points than I usually do, but here goes!!
- Man, really disturbing to think about how one incident could change a person so much forever.
- Looking at it and putting it that simply, wanting to prove you don't need a Bulbasaur, Charmander, or Squirtle seems like a pretty irrational reason for starting a journey. Though I suppose rationality and Alaska don't go hand-in-hand.
- Haha, perfect that they'd hear an argument all through the house. Same goes for the argument in the next chapter.
- Extremely harsh exchange between Alaska and Sandy. A bit :< Really demonstrates her flaws. Also a harsh analysis from Looker, and fucking RIP Kalos.
- Heh, that note about being alone during travels is actually something I'm considering. It certainly would be interesting to try writing.
- 10/10 title reference for chapter 72
- Interesting way to put both Cycling Road and Silence Bridge in without pointless backtracking.
- Ha! Sounds fitting for Japan to hate Unova somehow.
- Nice to see an ordinary threat for once, as well as nonviolent resolution. I also read the biker's apologetic voice in an English accent, due to the "love" part, heh. And then later, he feels like he has a Brooklyn accent with "youse".
- More worldbuilding in expanding to show the public view of her and consequences of such.
- WHAT A TWIST, and figured Darwin would come back sooner or later iirc.
- Hardline morals the motivation for this attack? Interesting, to say the least. Though his behavior makes me wonder if what he said is the whole story or not!!
- Very good chapter, 73, though. And the resolution in the blog at the end! Really nice to see some development finally.
- Nice job capturing Clair's personality. I felt you got it just right to canon.
- Chloe development too. A bit disturbing to see she feels she's getting stepped on, and the future ramifications of her being let in on the secrets.
Not completely!! And dang. But well, you'd only need to read the latest two chapters for a review of sorts, since it's what's plot-relevant at the moment and what happened before is hardly at all. Shoutouts to unique ways of constructing the fic, and to summaries of what happened in each part if really needed!
Yeah, heard you talking about that a bit someplace. Probably just going to move on from wherever I was, though. Apparently after the Sabrina battle!
Been doing good. Finally updated my fic after a year, which feels great - and am already a decent way along with the next chapter. The one I posted also comes included with an Alaska reference, on that note, heh. (Reminds me, I need to get back into reading 8ES)
I've been meaning to respond for a while. I actually think there is an interesting discussion to be had about Cynthia in DoD and her contribution to the plot. I just seem to only have time for about one post per day anymore Been trying too hard to work on my own writing.