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Alex64
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  • ...And then there's the broad possibility of him being eaten by a Like Like...and when Cremia lets him motorboat her...

    SPREAD THE POO, WHY DON'T YOU?! Hero of Time? Hero of Cholera, more like...
    Never mind all of the times he's subsequently handled MASKS. Which he then puts on his FACE.

    POOP. FACE. WELL DONE, LINK...WELL DONE.
    And you know what's worst? And you know...what's...worst?

    Link got a Piece of Heart. Which he then puts into his pocket. Which later becomes a whole Heart Container. And all without washing his hands. WELL DONE, LINK; YOU HAVE CONTAMINATED ONE OF YOUR HEART CONTAINERS WITH POO. AND CORPSE. ARE YOU QUITE PROUD? ...Also there's gonna be sh*t-residue in his pockets.
    (And, in point B), I am, of course, referring to performing an act of kindness in exchange for a Piece of Heart. Mind out of the photocopier, please.)
    ...But let's take a few steps back. Dead body. With an actual piece of heart. In a photocopier. Full of sh*t. Think of the smell. Therefore:

    A) WHAT THE F*CK, TERMINA DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH AND SAFETY?!
    B) WHAT THE F*CK, LINK?! ARE YOU THAT DESPERATE? IT'S NOT LIKE THERE AREN'T PLENTY OF PERFECTLY ADEQUATE HOLES AROUND TERMINA FIELD IN WHICH YOU CAN DO EXACTLY THE SAME THING, BUT IN A FAR MORE SANITARY ENVIRONMENT!
    C) WHAT THE F*CK, MIYAMOTO?!
    ...BEARING ALL OF THAT IN MIND...HOW CAN ONE MEASLY PIECE OF PAPER HELP ALL THAT?

    ...AND HOW DID A PIECE OF HEART END UP INSIDE A SH*T-FILLED PHOTOCOPIER, ANYWAY?! WHAT WAS THAT POOR SOD EATING?!
    AS IF THAT WASN'T BAD ENOUGH...they couldn't get back out again. They died inside a photocopier full of their own sh*t.

    ...Must have been Monday the 13th.
    ...Actually, I might have one more thing to add.

    ...EVEN AFTER ALL THAT, HOW DO YOU MANAGE TO FALL INTO THE PHOTOCOPIER YOU JUST FOLLOWED THROUGH INTO?!
    ...It must have been a Monday...
    ...Aaaaand I'm out of material.

    Seriously, though, the toilet in the Stock Pot Inn has always looked like a photocopier/printer/fax machine/other thing of that ilk to me. Inb4 ORLY; YARLY.
    I MEAN...WERE THEY TRYING TO DO THE CLASSIC 'PHOTOCOPY YOUR ARSE THEN SPREAD THE PICTURES AROUND THE OFFICE' GAG, ONLY TO HAVE IT GO HORRIBLY WRONG?!?!
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