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Oh, I wasn't saying that your parents were that way! Not at all! I'm such a fucking idiot. I should've said that differently. What I meant was that I don't see how kids who are in that situation could ever get help if they need parental consent. So I don't understand when you say that you can't get help because of that.
(HONESTLY, I THINK MY IDEA OF "PROTECT" IS MORE LIKE YOUR DEFINITION OF "OWN". I'M A FUCKING FREAK.)
That's not the real you.
You aren't letting me down. You're doing a great job of hanging on, Synny, you truly are.
Oh, come on. "Better"? Could you get any more vague? They are your friends and they will support you every step of the way. It's a little too soon to open up to them after what happened with your one friend, though, I think. Just try seeing which out of them could be the most responsible with you. I only want the absolute best for you.
Because they could see it again. Because I bend over backwards trying to get you back to that point. Because it's what got you all the friends you still have.
It may be good enough for you, but not me. I don't want to go through life almost doing things right. I want to give you the respect that you deserve.
Remember that Muhammad Ali quote I told you once? It applies here.
I sorta doubt that. How else would kids be taken from abusive parents?
(I GET THAT FEELING OF DOMINANCE, THOUGH. IT SHOWS EVERY TIME I SAY THAT I WANT TO PROTECT YOU.)
Yes, you do. You say that so much and yet I don't think you've ever given me a reason.
That's not true, though. You've confronted your parents about your issue (I don't want to say it in VMs, but hopefully you know what I'm talking about) and about getting help, you've gone a long time without doing that thing, you've tried repeating some of those things I told you to remember (at least, I think you have), and you have gone to lengths to get help. I want to thank you for that.
What sort of issue does your one friend have? They didn't leave her behind, right?
Nope. I know the real you. I described the real you in one part of my PM. The real you isn't like this. I became friends with the real you, I loved and still love the real you so much that I initiated and then ruined a relationship with you, and the real you helped me when I was way down in it.
At least I can make an effort? That's hardly good enough! I really appreciate the optimism, mainly since it's another one of those things I was talking about that let me know that you're still in there somewhere, but trying and failing to be respectful of my own best friend isn't something for me to be happy about. Do you say that because there's someone who's treating you worse? I wish I could fuck them up if there is one. Who is he?
Give me a reason, love. I've given my reasons so many times, but it worked once so I'll say them again.
Hey! Me and the others over at the Pit Stop were talking about how there's been a lot of members who haven't been online in ages, and I just wanted to say that everyone at the Pit Stop misses you... :bawl:
So it didn't work this time, whatever. Like I said in our PMs, just wait a while.
(I KNOW. I'M SORRY. YOU'RE JUST, I MEAN... GUGH. I'M A CREEP AND YOU'RE ATTRACTIVE AND BLA BLA BLA.)
Well, honestly, that's probably a good thing. What are all the things you're doing to vent, huh? Can you talk to me about those?
Listen, I think you're only saying that because you aren't feeling well right now. You may not see a reason, and I may not have come up with something that really connects with you yet, but keep going and we will find it. Okay? This dip in your mood isn't going to last.
Are any of them people you could talk to about your problems?
Okay, it was good of you to apologize in advance for anything you might say this time in your PM, because what you just said is not true at all. I know you well enough to know that this is your problems talking and nothing else. When you start to feel better and you look back at this, you'll realize that. And I forgive you.
Yeah, can I start calling you that? I quite like it.
See, this sort of thing has happened more than once. I'm now confident in saying that the motivation is in you, you just need to find it. Can you see what I mean?
Oops, sorry, I gave away the new type :O I will be careful not to say any more spoliers from now on I was thinking the other day, this will be the first generation in which I don't know all the new Pokémon. (Unless I'm silly and look it up online). I'm going to try and resist doing that cos I want to play the games (when they come out) and have some real surprises
It's hard to believe that you'll recover when you're down in it, I know. But if you just work for it and get yourself help, it'll be easier.
(THIS WHOLE SUB-CONVERSATION IS ME BEING A REGRESSIVE PRICK, I'M SORRY.)
You had an opportunity and a reason to let your feelings out and so you did. Did it make you feel better when you wrote it?
Could you go into more detail, please?
Do you enjoy being around your friends, at least? Do they go back and forth with you at all?
I don't see how you're not strong, honestly.
Hey, if either of us is little, it's you, pussycat.
So how exactly does praise help? Dare I say that maybe it makes you feel good?
By the way, as of about a week ago, we've known each other for a year. I would go into a big speech about how great of a friend you are and all that, but I'm not feeling up to it right now and I know I'd ruin it with some stupid backward-thinking bullshit. Here's to one year of being friends?
I know that's, like, Positive Thinking 101, but it's hard for me to think of ideas for you. I just want to see you recovered. I'm sure you can do it.
(THERE! BOOM! I PUT IT ON LAYAWAY! I'VE PAID FOR HALF OF IT UP FRONT AND I DON'T KNOW HOW I'M GOING TO PAY FOR THE REST BUT THERE YOU GO! IN DUE TIME, I WILL BE THE SEXY AND MASCULINE OWNER OF A SEXY AND INDEED MASCULINE EPIPHONE SG AND YOU WILL FALL INTO MY ARMS AND PROCEED TO MELT BECAUSE OF HOW HOT I WILL BE AS THE OWNER OF SAID SG!)
It's not irrational at all, okay? All I meant is that you shouldn't be scared by the act of writing it. It's why you wrote it that needs to be sorted out. Do you understand?
That's completely okay. What I know from experience, however, is that when I had the really, really bad days, the main thing that kept me going was my promise to you. I was not about to let you down. I felt like shit, and I saw no real reason to live, but I knew that I promised you that I wouldn't give up, and so I managed.
How are you around your friends, then? Are you playful? Sarcastic? Loud?
That's okay. I could've sworn I did convince you for a while that you are strong. Do you recall that?
Don't do it, booby-bear! I'll call you names! I know how much you hate it when I call you names, sugar-tits!
Well, I'll try to remember that the next time I want to call myself a loser. I feel like you deserve something, though. Something more than just praise from one guy who isn't all that spectacular, to put it lightly.
Ha, glad you agree I just keeping checking for updates and new news online. Though I really shouldn't cos I don't want to find out everything about the new Pokémon games xD There'd be no surprises left then xD
Yes, that's what I mean. Begin every day by saying to yourself that you are going to try to have a good day. On the next good day you have, make some vows to yourself. You're not going to give up, you're going to be there for me or for your friends or whatever, you're not going to put your dad through all the torment of losing you, things to that effect.
(I'LL DO THAT, THEN! I'LL SAVE UP FOR AN SG! THEN YOU'LL DIG ME! YOU'LL SEE! YOUR ESTROGEN WILL BE PUMPING DOUBLE-TIME!)
Well, like I said, it's good that you can stil have better judgment than to let that influence you. Nothing you write down on paper is going to hurt you, okay?
That's completely normal. Just remember to hang in there when you start feeling bad, okay? You don't even have to remember why you should keep going, just ingrain that into your head. Then, when you feel okay again, you'll remember why you need to keep going. It's what's best for you and everyone around you.
What the hell is that supposed to mean?
You are strong enough. You just have to believe that you are. Does that make sense to you?
KISS uses Warlocks! Motley Crüe uses Warlocks! Lita Ford uses a Warlock! Don't hit me, please! ;#;
You're still going despite everything you feel telling you to stop? That's incredibly strong. You deserve some kind of reward. I wish there was something I could give you, but I doubt anything I could give you would be encouraging to you. I'm sorry for being such a fucking loser.
Yeah, I think it was revealed a few days ago. I'm not sure what I think about it. On one hand, it could be cool and introduce some neat new Pokémon. One the other hand, I shall cringe if basically everything pink and cute becomes fairy type xD
Would you agree that you can think more clearly on good days? Would you agree that you don't feel as bad as you do on good days?
(WH--... WELL, WHAT DO YOU DIG? DO YOU DIG SGS? THERE'S AN SG AT THE SHOP MY MOM WORKS AT! I COULD SPLIT THE COST WITH HER AND MAYBE SHE CAN GET A DISCOUNT! YOU DIG SGS, RIGHT? SGS ARE SEXY?)
Are there things In that category, though?
Are the amount of good days increasing, at least? What did you mean when you first said that the strategy was working?
That's complete bullshit, Ami. You know what's less than human? Sharks. Are you a shark?
When do you think you'll finally tell him agin?
Uhh... Machine Head uses Warlocks! That's cool, right? Machine Head! Go listen to them, forget I even mentioned Black-- those other guys!
You don't even know what an "absolute wreck" could be for someone else suffering from the same things you are. You've gone so far without any professional help, and here we are, talking about guitars and Black-- that one band. You need help, but you don't realize just how well you've done without it. You are strong, and if I say that you're a great friend to me then that means you are.