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Rainami
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  • ....finally back from my one month long ban...

    I am extremely disappointed and upset at the Bulbagarden Forums staff and the behavior they have exhibited. I've come to accept that at least one of my most recent bans was warranted, but this....I get banned for an entire month due to an alleged problem which was very mildly problematic at worst, though personally, I don't consider it a problem at all. It could have been resolved by simply sending me a private message. But no. Once again I get banished from one of my very few social outlets, I get banished from being able to post during one of the most important Pokemon events in years, I get banished from the first mafia game I was a part of in years.

    I've felt unappreciated on this forum for a long time. I've tried my hardest to comply with the moderator's requests, and to not be a problem to other users, while still maintaining my sense of self. It's really difficult for me to be myself sometimes. I've gotten gradually better at controlling my behavior and better understanding myself over the years, yet I still feel like people dislike me. This ban made me feel ostracized from this forum even more than usual.

    The Bulbagarden staff has been well aware of my extreme emotional instability and suicidal tendencies. I already deal with a lot of issues in my life. Feeling disliked by the Bulbagarden staff and users even more than before, watching my friends post about Sword and Shield and whatever they wanted to while I couldn't, was nearly enough to push me over the edge. Quite literally. I am now aware of two bridges within 30 minutes of where I live, and I had to call the suicide hotline. I felt more suicidal than I have in a long time, and for what purpose? My close friend became so concerned about me that they tried to convey my turmoil to the staff, which they didn't seem to care about even remotely.

    This blatantly callous behavior makes me sick. I was advised to keep my mouth shut when I returned, but I refuse to be a doormat. That said, I do think it's best I refrain from saying everything that deserves to be said....so this is all I will say for now.

    Yes, moderators, I will not repeat the same behavior that got me banned. I hope you're happy.

    Don't be surprised if you see less of me in the future.
    I hate when I post stuff that's higher quality than most of the posts you see on this forum, but nobody cares.
    So tell me why are you fabulous? I am curious. Indeed RIP Winnie The Pooh, Randy was way too harsh so he only could sell his weed to China.
    Reactions: Rainami
    KenzeyEevee
    KenzeyEevee
    Insecurities make us human. I don't judge. My autism makes me less social, but I have learned to accept it. Besides your cuteness makes up for those insecurities ;)
    Rainami
    Rainami
    you're autistic, huh? I know how you feel, my asperger's gave me a lot of problems back when I was in school.

    you think I'm cute? But you haven't seen what I look like.
    KenzeyEevee
    KenzeyEevee
    Cuteness isn't only on the inside you know, personality wise being nice, sweet and caring is what I call cute for a girl. How gave it you trouble, your Asperger, couldn't you fit in? Sometimes you just don't have to care about what others think because you are autistic, otherwise your whole life would be sad. Be yourself, it's the best version of you, Mademoiselle!
    my sister made me watch final destination and I liked it more than I thought I would. Tonight's also the first night I'm gonna go down to the apartment complex's workout room. Now I'm kind of paranoid that somefin's gonna happen, and that movie is largely responsible for that. At least it's not still friday the 13th, then I'd be really paranoid. Oh well, I'll be fine. Probably.
    friggin praying mantis flew onto my right window while I was in the mcdonald's drivethrough. I thought it was cool until it climbed on top of my car and I became paranoid it would climb through my window. Thankfully I think it left. Bizarre, I almost never see those things...
    Rainami
    Rainami
    doesn't matter if it wouldn't have hurt me, I'm scared shitless of having any intimidating bug or spider near me without glass or somefin in between us. Or, god forbid, on me. If it was a caterpillar or ladybug or somefin maybe I wouldn't mind it coming inside my car. Ignoring the hassle of getting it out of my car....

    fact of the matter is, it didn't enter my car, so I'm treating the whole experience as a positive since I think praying mantises are cool

    I mean, I used to have one as a pet, so....
    Chidamari Sketch
    Chidamari Sketch
    Hmm...

    holds your hands and squeezes them
    Rainami
    Rainami
    squeezes your hands back

    -w-
    I'm missing out on RM page 1111....
    Max1996
    Max1996
    That's unfortunate...
    Rainami
    Rainami
    ....it's fine, it's fine. Well, it's not fine, but I'm not as pissed about it anymore. I....I just have a strange obsession with numbers I find notable...I was sort of like this when I missed page 1,000, for instance. Although the reasons behind me missing page 1,000 were quite different....
    Chidamari Sketch
    Chidamari Sketch
    pats your head and back
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