I was just at subway. Some lady there was staring at me....I was so scared that it was because she could tell I'm a transgirl. I'm still upset about it. I keep telling myself that it was for some other reason; maybe it was because I had wet hair at the time, maybe she thought she recognized me, maybe she thought I was pretty. I really, really hope it wasn't because I'm trans....I really want to believe I pass....
so according to riki, my full legal name is "possibly the most male sounding name i've seen". Gee, thanks, riki. Unfortunately, he's not wrong. Even more reason to change my surname too and put that all behind me as much as I can. Take a torch to the past, I say. Delete it all.
I have a last name in mind, but obviously I won't be telling the majority of you people about it. I'm no bakanoid. All I shall say is that it's super lovely and fitting.
Hey squid(can i call you squid or do you hate it?), i re-read your about page and i saw that you like Gravity Falls, Adventure Time, and Steven Universe, more specifically Peridot. I love Peridot. So that's cool.
when I was driving back from tim hortons, some idiot was driving forward in the left hand turn lane. I move in front of him so I can turn into my apartment complex, and the asshole honks at me. I flip him off as he drives around me; I watched him, he didn't have to turn left at any point. Then when I'm walking up to my apartment, I drop my turkey bacon club all the way down the fucking stairs and it ends up just sitting on the floor. In a rage, I throw my keys at the wall, which results in the clicker to unlock/lock my car breaking off the keychain, so now I have to fix that. I drive all the way back to tim hortons to get another sandwich (the lady in the drivethrough window comments she wishes they had a policy like domino's) and get some bacon and cheese omelet bites as well. When I get home I realize they didn't give me my omelet bites, which I tried to not let bother me but it still does bother me. I really need to double check everything I get before I leave every drive through window, huh.
this came right after the revolution last night that gluing paper over the holes in the hamster wheel isn't going to work. I bought nontoxic elmer's glue and glued stips of paper over the holes, let it dry, but when I put the wheel in the cage yesterday two of the three paper strips fall out. So I guess I need to think up yet another solution, because this one clearly isn't going to work.
if all this is happening now, I can only imagine how bad my luck will be on friday -_-
just finished watching the episode of zombieland saga I was looking forward to the most....
the episode I was looking forward to was the one focused on lily hoshikawa, the transgender member of franchouchou. I didn't know what number episode it was prior, so I got excited when I realized the episode I was watching was the one I was most interested in seeing. I thought it was handled nicely, the other girls were surprised about lily being transgender, but none of them were upset over it and they still accepted her as a girl and part of the group. Kotaro didn't give a shit either, revealing that he had known the whole time, and also notably didn't tell the other girls without lily's permission (somefin which people have done to me various times....the dumb jerks). It was also very sweet how they helped her say goodbye to her father.
it did make me upset to see how scared lily-chan was of growing up. She had a heart attack due to stress, stress caused by being a TV star, as well as gender dysphoria, which escalated when she noticed she had grown a facial hair. I know she's a fictional character, but I wish I could have been there to tell her about hormone replacement therapy. I didn't know about hormone replacement therapy until I was 20, so it's no surprise a 12 year old wouldn't be aware of it. Perhaps, if she had known about that, she would still be alive. Granted, being a member of franchouchou is certainly awesome in many ways (though it has its obvious downsides), so it's not all bad; she'll never age now either.
ah, age....that was another thing that made me upset. I wish I could be as young as lily again....or at least younger than I am now. I'm gonna be 25 next year, and I can't help but feel like my youth is fading away. I'm so insecure about my age that I get a bit irked when anybody refers to me as a "woman", because that just makes me feel old. I much prefer "girl" or other terms. Things might be getting better for me lately, but I wish I had a better way to cope with growing older. I had something in mind, but there's no guarantee it will ever happen.
anyways, the anime is very good, and I'd recommend it to anybody who hasn't watched it. It's relatively short too, which makes it less intimidating to watch than many other anime are. I'm looking forward to watching more of it.
going to see it chapter two in theaters tonight. Apparently it's 169 minutes long. That's almost as long as an alolan exeggutor. Lots and lots of room for spooky scares. I'll update this status after I see it.
some creepy old man was following me. He was in an electric wheelchair and I pulled in front of him to turn into panera bread. When I got into the drivethrough, I saw him in the neighboring parking lot staring at me. And when I got up to the window I noticed he was right behind me in the drive through line; before I left the window, he left, so he definitely wasn't there for food. Super creepy. I hope he wasn't writing down my license plate number to get me in trouble.
my dad doesn't even know the difference between sex and gender
continues to compare his feelings of being sort of feminine to genuine gender dysphoria
I fucking hate cis people (and yes I mean like 78% of cis people, not all of them, since I know I'll get yelled at if I don't clarify this)
at least he got me really high, that's certainly a benefit to him (and I swear to god if anybody tries to force their fear of marijuana on me again....)
he did notably change my name on his phone, which suggests that he might not be as bad as I suspected....although he spelled it "Niya" which resulted in quite the eyeroll from me, like jeez man you don't even know how to spell your daughter's own name. It's four letters (technically my full name is six letters but nobody uses that except riki), dude.
I forced him to post his questions on r/asktransgender and send me the link to the thread on discord when he does
he better fuckin' do it, because I'm about done explaining everything in depth to him -_-