Well, you fixed it to be a little better. Basically, what I was trying to say is you can't really take control of the wild Pokemon. For instance, you stated that when Dusknoir threw up a Protect shield, Donphan rolled around it. That's not really allowed because that's taking control of Donphan and actually setting things up for yourself.
On the other hand, the part where you said that you watched as Donphan regained his footing is fine because Donphan will obviously have to get back up. He can't just lie there. I hope I did a good job of explaining that.
P.S. Don't worry about editing it though. If you understand what I was trying to get across, then that's good. I'm actually going to let it pass this time around. Don't tell anyone.