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I think the Champion. Being a Contest star seems like it would be way too overwhelming for me, both socially and mentally (constantly having to come up with new tricks to stay on the cutting edge and such). I would definitely still need to innovate to stay on top of the game as Champion, but...
Bidoof. I don't think any part of Aegislash is edible, and I would rather not huff Gastly gas - seems like too much harm for too little high. I'd probably eat Bidoof's hindquarters (don't remember what that cut of meat is called exactly).
Would you rather never get critical captures or only...