• All content from the former Roleplaying Games forum has been merged into the Writers' Workshop forum. You can find more information in this thread.

    We hope to see you roleplaying away soon!
  • The World Beyond Restructure is now finished! Check out the update here!
  • It's time for the Writer's Workshop Summer event: our second themed one-shot competition! Check out the sign-up thread here!
  • Hey everyone! Bulbagarden is hosting its first Bulbaleague Conference Pokemon Showdown Tournament! Check out this thread to get the full details!
  • Hey everyone! The Writer's Workshop is hosting an exciting event, Trainers of Fanfiction! It's a community event focused around your characters!

Search results

  1. Patrick Haines

    MATURE: How to Conquer Kanto in Eight Easy Steps - Chapter 98

    @AceTrainer14 SANDY: Ok, I understand your point of how she would have changed after everything she went through, I guess my view of it was that she was trying to imitate Alaska. She started swearing more, trying to blow stuff up, caring less, I was concerned. Her bravery, as seen when she is...
  2. Patrick Haines

    MATURE: How to Conquer Kanto in Eight Easy Steps - Chapter 98

    MERRY CHRISTMAS. I finished up the story today and this is he final posting. It should count for the Review Game as well as Secret Santa, so thank you. I also included a little Christmas gift for your (check the Spoiler tag). My rendition of Gideon's Porygon. Let me know what you think...
  3. Patrick Haines

    MATURE: How to Conquer Kanto in Eight Easy Steps - Chapter 98

    Chapter Eighty-One: A Dream of Wars Gone By (4,825 Words) Setting (World, Characters, Ect) -Your depiction of Latios is very believable -The fact that Alaska can not even control herself at times in her own head while speaking to the one being she should be able to trust fully hints at bad...
  4. Patrick Haines

    MATURE: How to Conquer Kanto in Eight Easy Steps - Chapter 98

    Chapter Seventy-Four: No Escape (4,197 Words) Setting (World, Characters, Ect) -Use a PokéBall or Pidgeotto on Shellder, Alaska likes to do everything the hardest way possible Story (Believability, Interest) -Your little note said don’t be frustrated with Alaska’s anger, which I am trying, but...
  5. Patrick Haines

    MATURE: How to Conquer Kanto in Eight Easy Steps - Chapter 98

    Chapter Sixty-Seven: A Game of Strategy (6,552 Words) Setting (World, Characters, Ect) -You narrator view is becoming too pro-Alaska. It is making the better characters you are developing seem worse because Alaska hates them (and everyone) Story (Believability, Interest) -Parasect took three...
  6. Patrick Haines

    MATURE: How to Conquer Kanto in Eight Easy Steps - Chapter 98

    Chapter Sixty: Waking Up to a Brand New Death (4,008 Words) Setting (World, Characters, Ect) -Alaska has a sickly vivid imagination, perhaps she should retire and write horror films. Story (Believability, Interest) -This isn’t against you or the story, but Buzz has serious “bad guy syndrome.”...
  7. Patrick Haines

    MATURE: How to Conquer Kanto in Eight Easy Steps - Chapter 98

    Chapter Fifty-Three: Take a Game (6,806 Words) Setting (World, Characters, Ect) -Although I have no love for Alaska’s enemies (and, yes, they could treat her better), Alaska is only getting worse as a character. She is a menace to society (as Daisy implied) and, in reality, would likely end up...
  8. Patrick Haines

    MATURE: How to Conquer Kanto in Eight Easy Steps - Chapter 98

    Chapter Forty-Five: A Tunnel Too Far (3,673 Words) Setting (World, Characters, Ect) -I am glad the girls got a chance to rest for a while. It also seems like Alaska is growing up a little, I hope she stays that way. -The shadow character intrigues me and I am loving the mystery surrounding him...
  9. Patrick Haines

    MATURE: How to Conquer Kanto in Eight Easy Steps - Chapter 98

    Chapter Thirty-Nine: The Hungover Games (2,858 Words) Setting (World, Characters, Ect) -I am really glad that the man with the gun wasn’t Red. There is no reason the Champion would ever need one. Story (Believability, Interest) -Not a lot going on this chapter, but it starts the ball rolling...
  10. Patrick Haines

    MATURE: How to Conquer Kanto in Eight Easy Steps - Chapter 98

    Chapter Thirty-Three: Oh the Analogies (2,854 Words) Setting (World, Characters, Ect) -Sandy is a really good friend, Alaska should really be more appreciative. -It is really funny to think of Alaska hobbling around on a cane like a grandma. -The emotions and personal develop are a good...
  11. Patrick Haines

    MATURE: How to Conquer Kanto in Eight Easy Steps - Chapter 98

    Chapter Twenty-Six: Breeding Sexy (3,068 Words) Setting (World, Characters, Ect) -The fingerprint thing on the PokeBalls is an interesting addition. Makes the process of “officially trading” mean something. I also like the deactivated PC/PokeBall addition. -I know Gideon is evil, but...
  12. Patrick Haines

    MATURE: How to Conquer Kanto in Eight Easy Steps - Chapter 98

    Chapter Twenty: Playing the Training Game (2,433) Setting (World, Characters, Ect) -You do a good job of giving the characters layers. This holds over into the story, so there is more than one plot being played out simultaneously. -Alaska has a very bleak outlook on humanity -I like how you...
  13. Patrick Haines

    MATURE: How to Conquer Kanto in Eight Easy Steps - Chapter 98

    Chapter Sixteen: This Place Needs a Sweep (2,296) Setting (World, Characters, Ect) -The relationship between Alaska and Sandy is amazing. -Your Pokémon have more personality than some people I know, I love it. Story (Believability, Interest) -1) Next time Alaska has a free moment, she needs to...
  14. Patrick Haines

    MATURE: How to Conquer Kanto in Eight Easy Steps - Chapter 98

    Chapter Eleven: Sorta Ready to Rock and Roll Setting (World, Characters, Ect) -I am not sure I like where you took Brock’s character. In both the games and the anime, he is gentle and kind (partly because he has to be). It is your story, so you can do what you want, but he is going to be the...
  15. Patrick Haines

    MATURE: How to Conquer Kanto in Eight Easy Steps - Chapter 98

    I have already finished reading up to Arc 11 and the reviews are done, they just are not posted yet. I wanted to read through the entire story, so I understood what was going on when I got to the newer arcs, which I will finish before Christmas. If you are in the process of re-writing, then...
  16. Patrick Haines

    MATURE: How to Conquer Kanto in Eight Easy Steps - Chapter 98

    First Arc. These are just comments I made as I read through each chapter. Some of the general mistakes have been corrected in more recent chapters, but some linger. Prologue: Chrono Island (2,050 Words) Setting (World, Characters, Ect) -I love Alaska’s name, it is something that I can read...
  17. Patrick Haines

    MATURE: How to Conquer Kanto in Eight Easy Steps - Chapter 98

    Ok, so it is December 21st, so the Secret Santa Posting will begin. I have a lot to post very quickly, so I will try and make it manageable. I am going to post reviews one arc at a time. Each one has comments on plot, characters, ect AND I will be attaching PDFs with grammar...
Top