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Okay, I hope I'm doing this right since the last time I screwed up (my apologies for that, as I had forgotten the rule about first reviewing the previous post since I haven't been on this thread in quite some time). Since there has been no post with a story sample prior to this post I hope it's...

Here's a little preview of an upcoming chapter in Dawn of Courage. (Note that this chapter has yet to be proofread so there may be errors in this segment).

Can you give a suggestion on what you think would make it sound better?

Sorry for the late reply, forgot all about this thread. I suggest you do it through the trickle method. Doing a flat-out prologue like that would be too much of a info dump that would largely spoil the history behind it. By feeding the audience the backstory bit by bit it keeps them interested...

Unfortunately, that's the issue you're having. The hovers need to go. Period. Here's an example of one of my works: See how this looks? I don't use hover text or anything, I just map it all out for the world to see. It makes it look neat and organized, explains the effects outright, and...

@UselessBytes As a fellow Yu-Gi-Oh writer myself, I might be able to lend a hand here. For starters, yes, the hover text is unnecessary, as it distracts the attention from the events in the story. You're better off just simply explaining the effects flat-out. Sure, it'll take longer, and will...