Search results for query: *

  1. Flaze

    POPULAR: The Samples Thread

    The second half of that sentence doesn't really make sense, starting with wind. It sounds like you're saying "to have the wind bend to your will" instead but it's all very disorderly. "Humans are not supposed to pent-up" what exactly are we not supposed to pent-up? it'd be good to specify or...
  2. Flaze

    POPULAR: The Samples Thread

    What about it makes it seem juvenile? And how do you think I could shorten the sentences?
  3. Flaze

    POPULAR: The Samples Thread

    @AceTrainer14 Well I don't see any big issues with it, grammatically speaking it fits really well and there's no mistake. Also, it's nice to see Victor is still hating the world as per usual. My only tidbit would probably bit that he talks a bit too much at the start, like maybe convey what he's...
Back
Top Bottom