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Granted. Since you weren’t very specific about the “that” that you didn’t want to happen, “that” which did not happen is the Big Bang. The universe no longer exists. I wish these wishes would stop being corrupted.

Granted. You are flash frozen in it and taken to Jabba the Hutt’s palace as a decoration. I wish for more wishes

Granted, you lie to the whole world, and it’s an excellent lie. Unfortunately, your lie is eventually unraveled, and you are exposed as a fraud. I wish for more tea.

Granted. The joke is so funny that you die of laughter. I wish to beat the robot devil in a fiddle contest.

Granted. I am now dictator for life and can never be fired again. I wish I didn’t just grant that wish…

Granted. You get sent to a universe where you are the only person who exists. There is nothing else. I wish I could take a nap right now…

Granted, a giant can of Pepsi clobbers you on the head and kills you. I wish that I didn’t have to make any more wishes.

Granted. Pretty sure that’s what’s already happening, anyway. In any case, you’re killed during a riot resulting from a complete lack of accountability or responsibility. I wish for more free time.

Granted. You are now wiped from existence altogether. I wish for a wish that couldn’t be corrupted.

Granted. The watch functions perfectly, and performs so well that it gets banned on Smogon to the Uber tier because it is so broken…in battle. You are never allowed to use or see the stopwatch again. I wish for absolutely nothing.

Granted. Karl Marx rises from the grave and teaches you all about the chaotic ways of socialism. I wish that I could be paid for doing nothing.

Granted. You don’t go to school today, or ever, because you are now dead. I wish for nothing.

Granted. You’re dead now, so you’re neither lucky nor unlucky. I wish for a delicious, kosher, sandwich.

Granted. They’re all rotten and stink horribly. I wish I could skip Passover forever.

Granted, you get banned from the forums for forgetting to post a wish. I wish that every egg hatched in Pokémon games was a Shiny Pokémon.

Granted, but they eat you and every human on the planet. I wish for every Pokemon to be at my command.

GRANTED! *your hair, much like the rest of your body, briefly glows green as you are EXTERMINATED by the Daleks* I wish for reality to end.

Granted, but then I buy them all before you get a chance. I wish for tuna fish.

Granted. You are removed from existence entirely. I wish for a doomsday device.

Granted, it is only as tall as your foot. I wish Pichu would evolve.