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I’ve got a chair. That’s something, at least. The person below would have to face Buzz the Bee, the Honey Nut Cheerios mascot.

Holy shit that’s cute. I try to make peace with it by showing it the garbage can I have next to me and offering to clean up any litter off its back. Next user fights Bert and Ernie.

I have my trusty...pillow. Brace for impact!! Next poster has to fight...Shawn Spencer.

I have one thing that he doesn’t have...a skinny little Apple keyboard in my left hand, which I can use to inflict many a painful bruise upon the face of my wicked doppelgänger. Next user must fight a giant rotten tomato.

I have a pencil. Is that considered mightier? Next user fights a rotary snowplow

I simply choke him to death with my earphones. I got this in the bag, right? Haha, right? Riiight? Next user fights a sea urchin wearing a jetpack

I scare it off with my old tabby cat, Lucky Next user fights a mannequin

And there goes my next peace offering, a partially eaten peanut butter and chocolate chip sandwich. Next user fights a giant, sentient peanut butter and chocolate chip sandwich.

I guess I have to offer up my partially consumed can of Orange Vanilla Coka Cola to make peace with them Next user is up against a cactus

I turn on the shower next to me to disintegrate the dastardly donut. Next, you must fight Doctor Strange.

I have...paper towels. Unless I can convince Rayquaza I’m not its enemy, I think I’m screwed Now you must face...an overripe banana! With a gun!

It looks small and cute, so I attempt to put it on my bedroom shelf next to me where I keep little decorative items (and possibly die)! Next user is up against Ant-Man.

I cower in my bathtub. Next person is up against Petey Piranha

My shorts and underwear. ...I guess I try the same tactic? Next user is up against a Ferrothorn

throws my dinner plate at the dragon like a frisbee Ok I’m probably dead tbh Next user’s opponent is Harry Potter.

A chair. Oh my, is it whackin’ time again already? Next person is up against Santa Claus.

I have a car door. I hope that can shield from...whatever he does, if nothing else. Next user is up against a living garbage truck.

Hehe, nothing personal, Darth! :X3: So, that cute jumping desk lamp, mega-sized, eh? I squirt a bottle of lotion onto the ground in hopes of slipping it up. Next user has to fight the Mario brothers.

I have a whole pack of...toilet paper. I guess I throw it as a decoy and make my getaway before he can sic Pikachu on me. Next user has to face Discord from My Little Pony.

I trap it in the smal, hollow outdoor table next to me and release it into a body of water. Next user must beat Superman