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burps at the thread in a rather rude manner

Yes. I can affirm that the thread is indeed dead.

I’m not sure, actually. Maybe we should check in an encyclopedia! slams a cartoonishly large encyclopedia down onto the thread, thereby crushing it to death

Hmm, who is this Minna you are addressing? Is it the Nigerian city? encourages the thread to send a Nigerian prince their credit card details so as to claim a massive and totally legit inheritance

Hmm. Anyways. stabs the thread to death and then hides it behind the cupboard from the In the Cupboard! thread

forms every molecule from every obliterated solar system together into a new version of the thread as a single, macroscopic entity, which in the macrocosmic scale is roughly the size of an amoeba enters the macrocosm and sprays the thread with Clorox

takes each separate molecule of the obliterated thread and casts them each into a different star across the expanse of the universe

empties the entire sewer system into a black hole

Placated, the sand witch decides that you are actually a sweetie pie and berries the hatchet. She flies off and doesn’t intend to return to Fun & Games until next sundae. I guess sometimes you can have your cake and eat it, too.

The sand witch was gutted to learn you made her regurgitate her meal, and doesn’t undersand how you could be so cruel. But she has the stomach to take it and dish it right back, so this doesn’t spell the end of her food with you; she intends to plate dirty. She lunches a powerful sand curse upon...

cleans up the corpse by summoning a peanut butter and jam sand witch to eat it Yes, she’s a witch who uses sand magic and enjoys eating peanut butter and jam.

…Hey, I was gonna do that!! But fine, I’ll get creative. jams the shovel straight through the thread’s skull

buries the thread alive MWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!! …wait, shit. starts digging the thread back out so I can kill it

drags the thread along a carpet to give it a friction burn

puts on some gloves and throws a poison dart frog at the thread

starts eating the thread with a fork

*lets Woodcrawlers infest the thread*

*freezes the thread’s hand off, then stabs the thread repeatedly with the frozen hand*

*drops a sharp, heavy, explosive, corrosive, unsanitary, electrified, aggressive, and splintery sandwich on top of the thread*

*chews up the thread, spits it out, and sticks it to the underside of a dirty bench in a city*