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@diamondpearl876 Thanks for your thorough review. Let me touch upon some of your points: 1. I'll make sure not to overuse the passive voice. I'll probably edit the prologue. 2. Kris and Kurt actually don't share the same perspective, as she doesn't believe that Poke Balls are the way to bond...

@TRNatalie @Athena @smalllady I had to take a break and find my voice again, as it were. Hopefully I can make gaps smaller again. Chapter 7 "Ernie, wake up," Mom says sweetly. "You have your club today, right?" I open my eyes. I must have had quite the dream, since I find it hard to get up...

I respect your opinion, but I'd say that the chapter serves the purpose of giving Kris and Gold a reason to interact in the future, as they were strangers before and are headed in different directions. There is a certain plot point I originally wanted to cover here, but I realized that it would...

Chapter 6 Prof. Elm, Chica and I are heading to the celebration party in Gold's honor. Chica is walking right next to me, occasionally looking up to see what I'm doing. I wonder if she knows where we're going and why. Apparently, a chunk of the locals have already gathered at Rebecca's yard for...

A story about kids accomplishing adult-like feats is inevitably juvenile to some extent. The franchise is rooted in this premise and I don't reject it. I'd like to see an example, please. No one has mentioned this before and I use a spell checker in addition to proofreading. If you're...

@Agenda Thanks for your review. 1. I'm glad that you like Kris' story at least. The other readers don't comment on it as much. 2. Ernest is my take on a homeschooled kid who hasn't had any friends and keeps hearing stories about creatures from the past. He may not be relatable to the average...

I know that I need to work on setting descriptions. I personally get bored with too much focus on setting, but I admit that I've used it too scarcely. The ban is something I plan to delve into soon, although it's important to remember that Ernest only knows so much about the world surrounding...

Chapter 5 I've been at the academy for three days now, and boy, has it been a dreadful experience. The place may be huge, and the cafeteria food isn't too shabby, but the dull teachers don't really teach me anything interesting that I don't already know. And my classmates? They're either being...

Chapter 4 Lyra and I are very close to Elm's lab. We've been quiet ever since we headed out from the bus station. I… feel nervous. What if Elm doesn't want to give me a starter Pokémon? I've decided that no matter what, I will be honest about my intentions, which means… "Well, here we are...

Another chapter before I go on (a hopefully short) hiatus as a result of my stupid laptop needing a repair. Chapter 3 We're on our way to Saffron Academy. I'm fairly nervous and for whatever reason, Mom is too busy driving to say anything. So I'll do the talking. "Mom, is it true that the...

Chapter 2 "Wake up, dear." I see an old lady right in front of me. A tad on the large side, but her radiant face stands out despite her age. I slowly open my eyes and straighten my back. "You don't want to miss your stop, do you?" A rhetorical question if I ever heard one. I'm a little...

Suicune does, and he's the narrator. That is part of the reason why I felt the need to spell out the connection to the game's opening. Not to mention that Crystal is an old game and I don't expect every reader to be familiar with its more obscure aspects (the opening isn't explicitly tied to...

Thanks for the remarks. 1. I've replaced curate with create and used your advice for the way Mayson and Kurt are mentioned. 2. Added some lines about the breakfast scene: "I go down the stairs and sit down at the table. There are delicious pancakes already prepared, no doubt made with almond...

Chapter 1 "Welcome to the Pokémon world; my name is Oak. This world is filled with remarkable creatures, about which there are still many mysteries my colleagues and I investigate every day. But enough about me. Your name is… Ernest, correct?" It's that dream again. I keep having it only to...

Reverberations of Time A mystery story about the meaning of coexistence In 2001, a 12-year old trainer named Kris sets out on an atypical journey that defies expectations. 20 years later, a boy of the same age, called Ernest, investigates the truth behind something horrific. How are the two...