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EVERYONE: Poking Fun at the Chosen One Trope

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Feb 16, 2018
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  1. He/Him
This is literally just something I thought up. It's not really meant to be taken seriously. I wanted to look at the ridiculousness of the whole "only (insert name) can (insert action)" thing, as well as other tropes related to the Chosen One.
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Version 1
The Wise sage Zack leads Alex to a large building near a mountain.
"What is this place?" Alex asks
"This is the Sacred Light Shrine. Only you have the power to enter and retrieve the Diamond inside so that Dark Lord Tim can't get it," Zack said.
"Cool," Alex said. Then he turns and starts walking away.
"Where are you going?" Zack exclaims.
"Going home," Alex replies.
"Why?" Zack asks, "You are the only one can open the door,"
"That's the thing. Why bother? Why bother going through all that trouble of getting it if only I can enter the building and actually get the Diamond?" Alex asks.
"We need to protect the Diamond," Zack said, exasperated.
"Well, does Tim know about this place?" Alex asks, looking around.
"Yes. That is why he has been looking for you," Zack replies.
"I'm surprised he has not blown the place to smithereens yet,"
"There is a seal around the Diamond that only you can break, since you have the power of an ancient bloodline. The last of the bloodline, in fact," Zack said.

Alex throws his hands in the air in frustration. "Then why bother!?" Alex shouts angrily, "If only I can open the seal, then why not just leave it there? It's perfectly safe. If I take it, it won't be safe anymore, since it won't be in the seal anymore. Might as well not bother. Why did you even bother bringing me here? I am NOT going to get it! It's perfectly safe where it is!"
"But Alex…" Zack goes to say. Suddenly, a laugh is heard. Alex and Zack turn to see Tim standing there.

"Boy, I never thought to blow the place up. Don't know why I never thought of that. The seal would of course still be a problem." Tim said as he gazed up the structure.
Zack extends his arms out, ready to use magic. "Go Alex. I shall hold him off," he said. Zack turns to see that Alex has walked off. "What?" He asks.
"Well, too bad for you. Looks like your precious chosen one has decided to ignore his destiny," Tim said. Then he fires a bolt of energy at Zack, blasting him into the wall. Zack drops to the ground with a thud. As he lays there dying, he watches as Tim leaves. "No," he groans as he breathes his last.
Tim then began searching for Alex, but could never find him. In fact, Tim never saw Alex again.
 
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Version 2
"No. I refuse to do anything based on your word," Daniel said.
"But the prophecy says that you will defeat the Dark Lord!" Alex said in surprise.
"So what? Why should I, a simple farm boy, care?" Daniel asks.
"If the Dark Lord is able to get the Gem, it will be over," Alex replies.
"Have you told the king? Why not go to him and ask him to send someone who would do a far better job than me? Like Garland. He's one of the best the king has, if I recall," Daniel said.
"The Dark Lord might have spies at the castle," Alex replies.
"Fair enough, but how do you there are none here? How do I know you didn't just make up the prophecy just to get someone else to do your work for you? In my opinion, those who make up prophecies are lazy! They make them up so that they can get others to do their work for them. So, I don't care about your prophecy," Daniel said.

"What if the Dark Lord comes and kills your family?" Alex asks.
"Then I will do something about it, because then I would have a personal reason to do so. I am not going to do anything because of your stupid prophecy!" Daniel shouts.
"But the hints point to you," Alex said, starting to back away from Daniel, who is starting to get red in the face.
"So what?! I have never heard of this prophecy until now! Again, how do I know you didn't make it up yourself? Plus, does the prophecy mention when and how I would do it?!" Daniel shouts.
"No," Alex replies meekly.
"Then get lost before I call the town guard on you for pestering and stalking me!" Daniel shouts.
Without another word, Alex is off running. After a moment, Daniel heads back into the house.

"Who was that, Daniel," Tina asks.
"Just a lazy old coot who thought he could convince me to do take out the Dark Lord for him by telling me that I am the chosen one, as said in a prophecy," Daniel replies.
"I see. Why is it always farm boys, by the way?" Tina asks.
Daniel looks at her. "I have no clue," he replies after a moment. Daniel then went out back to work on the farm.
 
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Version 3
"So, what you're saying is I am the heir to the throne?" Lucas asks.
"Yes. In fact, that throne has sat vacant for years now," Andrew replies.
"I'm surprised that no one has taken the throne yet," Lucas says.
"Seems no one is particularly interested. Everyone seems to mostly be keeping to themselves," Andrew says.
"Then why should I care?" Lucas asks with a shrug.
"W-well. You are the last of the royal bloodline. You must bring this fractured kingdom back together," Andrew replies.
"Again, why should I care? Heck, why should anyone listen to a guy from a village in some isolated corner of the land? People rarely if ever visit. I doubt anyone would listen to me," Lucas says.
"I will be there to help you," Andrew said.

"I don't even know you. How do I know you won't stab me in the back and take the throne for yourself? Heck, why haven't you done that yet?" Lucas asks.
"You are the one who must take the throne, not me. I don't want it. I just wish to help you," Andrew says.
"How do I know what you say is true? How do I know you won't backstab me?" Lucas asks.
"I have don't have the bloodline. You have it," Andrew says, starting to back up.
"Why does it have to be me? Who cares about bloodlines? I don't care who takes the throne. Why should it matter? Why does being part of a bloodline mean anything? That's like saying only people with blue eyes can lead others. It's stupid," Lucas said rather angrily.

"Well, we must unite the people of the lands. That's what I want," Andrew said.
"Then go do it then! I wonder if people would even care. If the throne has sat empty for all of this time, then people must be content to keep to themselves. If people are happy living the way they are now, then who I am to take that away from them. Why do they need to be united? I don't care, now get lost before I call the village guard," Lucas says.
"Lucas…" Andrew says sadly.
"Guards! This man is plotting to kill me! I need help!" Lucas shouts as he runs to the guard house.
Andrew runs off, the village solders behind him. After catching him, they send him to the big city to be imprisoned.
 
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