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A Train Of Thought ▽ɞ

Blanc

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╔══▲═════════════╗
Buckled up on velvet seats
Sceneries were passing by
Not so different from our HELL...
Not so different from our HOME...
ᴵᶰ ᴴᵉˡˡ ʷᵉ ᴸᶤᵛᵉ˒ ᴸᵃᵐᵉᶰᵗ ᵇʸ ᴹᶤˡᶤ & ᴹᵞᵀᴴ ᴬᴺᴰ ᴿᴼᴵᴰ
╚════════════▽═══╝


Short day today, given my insomnia chewed through most of it. About to do my usually routine call to my parents because they freak out if I don't call them every other day or so, LOL. I just tend to procrastinate it because I have to put up a front around them. Mmm... Tomorrow I should mail off Ingo's gift box and cards for Mother's Day. I should also get on doing my laundry, gave myself a break today if only because of my insomnia episode. Today was wasted! But that's alright. I have to forgive myself more. It's been pretty quiet, but I'm glad, I'm an introvert so too much activity makes my brain buzz and exhausts me. I'm going to try looking at therapy options at least by the end of this week if not the start of the next, I'm ready to heal and get my life in order.

A friend of mine invited me to her wedding next year, which is gonna be fun, especially cause some other friends of mine are going, so I am a bit excited about it-- but it's also around the time I'm flying to go see Ingo, so I'll have to do some schedule dancing a bit. Lately I've been...trying to find that moderation between activity and no activity that works best for my health, both physical and mental. I think it'll be easier to find once I get some therapy going, or so I hope...crossing fingers...

I also want to get back to watching anime! I need to finish Vivy! It's sooooo good... I love anime that make me feel things, and Vivy is definitely one of them. I've always been a HUGE fan of those plotlines about the threshold between AI and humanity, can you tell I grew up with Ghost in the Shell? LOL. There's no reason why, they've just always been my bread and butter.

Speaking of, did you know in the early days of B/W the JP community often theorized Emmet was an AI for Ingo? LOL. It was good stuff.

I rarely watch anime by myself these days, like unless someone is watching it with me I usually fail to actually look at it, even if I'm interested in it. I think it's because I LOVE discussing them, I like watching a lot of anime that are really 'deep' and have a lot of symbolic meanings, so I guess if I can't really discuss it with friends its hard for me to watch stuff myself.

Another newer one I've recently enjoyed was EIGHTY-SIX, holy shit, I'm going to be 10000% honest, I've been watching anime since I was like 6, so I'm super jaded to a lot of tropes and plotlines, but EIGHTY-SIX really took me by surprise (plus, Hiroyuki Sawano did the OST??? he always makes bangers). I'm no stranger to roleplay, and I also just love anime that inspires roleplays or fanfics I can write.

I used to be super active in tumblr rp back in my highschool years LOOOOL...

But to be honest, I've avoided talking about general anime in the threads here solely because I'm pretty hard to impress when it comes to anime...and I don't want to come sounding like a negative hipster. Of course I do like some 'main stream' (well now, old main stream--) stuff too, but it's hard for me to get into anime that's 'popular' unless I get into it before it blows up. I don't know why but it's always hard to rope me into watching stuff that everyone watches unless I watch it before that happens.

I'd make an anime review blog but I'd sound so silly LOOOL...

Ingo is raiding hardcore tonight, so I'm left to my own devices and I can't really decide what I want to do...Decision paralysis!! At least I'm never bored!!

Mmm... gonna sound so old, but it's good to see so many people younger than me having nice lives here, it makes me really happy to see. To be super honest, I've always been hesitant to make friends younger than my usual age group because I want them to live such great lives, and I'm scared exposing them to my disorders and well, 'broken pieces' might hinder that, I'm of the belief adulthood should be put off as long as possible, since I had to grow up pretty fast. But, I guess it's okay, so long as they don't mind what a fragile existence I am. I want to have the strength they have.

Aaaah... I want more Pokemon plushies too... but I can't make a good excuse to fit more in my room! LOL, they're so expensive too...

Ah, at any rate, I guess I should call my parents now. Thanks for boarding, as always!
 

Blanc

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Help I want to be more active on discord now so I can have screenshots like these aaa
I'd love to see!! I thought about making a thread for posting funny discord messages out of context. I use it pretty much every day, but I love chatting on forums too because the slower pace is kind of relaxing
 

takoyaki

↑avatar by Blanc♡
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LET’S GOOOOO!! I have a gothic lolita coord that’s perfect for that ‘religious’ atmosphere! I’ll try to find a pic of it. You definitely should! Dressing up does numbers for my self esteem.
Someday soon-ish I'm going to do all that! It'll be amazing, like omg it will be
Also, speaking of music, I listened to Origami Angel (Find Your Throne specifically) and wowowow… the guitar riffs… and the overall vibe is so mall goth I was LIVING. Thank you for telling me about them! I love this so so much! I wish I could describe the sensation of mall goth, but that’s definitely what it was, I loved it. What games did you play?
I didn't know that was a thing!! Thanks for telling me haha! Origami Angel has a really special connection to me, it reminds me of the time where I (to no fault of either of ours, it was a 仕方がない situation) lost my best friend (who last month, I was able to reestablish contact with). That album, Somewhere City, took my pain away. He actually told me that he listened to a few of his songs and that's about the moment where I fell in love with him again~
I cannot believe it’s only been a week, LMAO. NO PERCEPTION OF TIME. I genuinely didn’t expect to talk/post this much… Perhaps I have people like you, Orchid and Mari to thank for getting me out of my usual comfort zone. Thank you for welcoming me so warmly! I’m really honored that you’d say that… I hope I can continue to make a positive presence! I can say for certain you have!
It's been a great week, I hope we have many many of those!! I'm glad we're making friends so quickly, and you've made an amazing presence!!
She told me she used to love forums, so I’m hoping she’ll come here eventually! She just keeps busy so she hasn’t had time to peek here yet. But I hope she takes interest! She’s a bit quieter than I am in some degrees but louder in others (kind of like canon Ingo, I guess, LMAO) so I’m sure if she does decide to come she’ll open up once you get her talking! Maybe it’ll be easier with me here.
Sometime hopefully! I'll make sure to give her a great welcome~
She’s doing great, just a bit tired today, she told me she went out with her fiance for a bit and then had to go home, fix dinner and do her patreon stuff, so she’s ready to wind down. LOL. She knew I was asleep so she let me rest. I’ll tell her you said hi!
Yay! Good luck to herrrr
Sorry, it took me a second to reply to this because I was doing my best to find the right words that would show how I feel.. Because I’ve never really had anyone treat me so kindly, and so openly be this kind to me so soon… I’m really surprised! And I’m really really honored… We both have a lot of similar interests too, so there’s so much to talk about! I hope we can be even better friends! I know I’m still a timid and clumsy thing, but I want to do my very best to return the kindness I’ve received… Thank you for making me feel at home, Lisia! I want to stay here! I have you to thank for that.
Maybe I am a person who is just like this, but, I do think that it's mostly you! Because it was you, I was able to become such good friends with you that quickly! 特別な人なら特別な関係ができますよ。もちろんブランクさんはそんな人ですよ!
がんばります!そう思っていただけて、本当にうれしいです。。。感情的になっている!!!www
本当ですよ!出会った時からの時間は少なくても。。。ブランクさんはお姉さんのようにあたしといい友達になりました。だから。。。こちらこそ。あたしはブランクさんのおかげで、もっと嬉しいになったことがいっぱいありました。これからも、もっといい友達になりたいわ!

それに。。。前に聞きませんでしたが(それはごめんね~)。。。「お姉さん」と呼ばれても、いいですか?もちろん好きじゃないなら今やめてもいいですよ~

Help I want to be more active on discord now so I can have screenshots like these aaa
Once my Switch is repaired I can help with that~~

A friend of mine invited me to her wedding next year, which is gonna be fun, especially cause some other friends of mine are going, so I am a bit excited about it-- but it's also around the time I'm flying to go see Ingo, so I'll have to do some schedule dancing a bit. Lately I've been...trying to find that moderation between activity and no activity that works best for my health, both physical and mental. I think it'll be easier to find once I get some therapy going, or so I hope...crossing fingers...
Good luck with all that! Meeting up with friends is always very fun (it only happens a few times a year for me, kinda?), so...good luck with scheduling!
I also want to get back to watching anime! I need to finish Vivy! It's sooooo good... I love anime that make me feel things, and Vivy is definitely one of them. I've always been a HUGE fan of those plotlines about the threshold between AI and humanity, can you tell I grew up with Ghost in the Shell? LOL. There's no reason why, they've just always been my bread and butter.

Speaking of, did you know in the early days of B/W the JP community often theorized Emmet was an AI for Ingo? LOL. It was good stuff.
AI, as in...artificial intelligence!? (I really need to get into the JP community like you, it seems very fun! and beneficial!)
I rarely watch anime by myself these days, like unless someone is watching it with me I usually fail to actually look at it, even if I'm interested in it. I think it's because I LOVE discussing them, I like watching a lot of anime that are really 'deep' and have a lot of symbolic meanings, so I guess if I can't really discuss it with friends its hard for me to watch stuff myself.
I love that!! Whatever it is, if it's with friends it tends to become very fun! Blanc we should watch something together sometime!!!! :)
But to be honest, I've avoided talking about general anime in the threads here solely because I'm pretty hard to impress when it comes to anime...and I don't want to come sounding like a negative hipster. Of course I do like some 'main stream' (well now, old main stream--) stuff too, but it's hard for me to get into anime that's 'popular' unless I get into it before it blows up. I don't know why but it's always hard to rope me into watching stuff that everyone watches unless I watch it before that happens.
I'm like this too! I tend to dislike popular ones...not always? MHA was OK really but it's not my fav. Really the anime genres that I love are romance (surprise! unless if it's not...), sports (this one is absolutely a surprise, I don't like watching sports except hockey, but give this girl a sports anime and she'll absolutely love it), and...magical girl? (only the PowerPuff Girls Z anime, but I can't watch it rn because my Switch is broken...)
I love anime from the early 2000s. Blanc, you may have been juuuust old enough to see some when they were fairly new!? The visual novel I'm writing is set in the early 2000s lol, love that setting~
I'd make an anime review blog but I'd sound so silly LOOOL...
You'll never be silly! I have my review blog of PowerPuff Girls Z~
Ingo is raiding hardcore tonight, so I'm left to my own devices and I can't really decide what I want to do...Decision paralysis!! At least I'm never bored!!
I'm so indecisive!!! But you can decide on...talking to us, or something!? Do what makes you happy Blanc!
Mmm... gonna sound so old, but it's good to see so many people younger than me having nice lives here, it makes me really happy to see. To be super honest, I've always been hesitant to make friends younger than my usual age group because I want them to live such great lives, and I'm scared exposing them to my disorders and well, 'broken pieces' might hinder that, I'm of the belief adulthood should be put off as long as possible, since I had to grow up pretty fast. But, I guess it's okay, so long as they don't mind what a fragile existence I am. I want to have the strength they have.
Something I've learned in my veryshort lifespan is that nobody has it together!! ...unless if you're a liar? See, for me, like, I'm a really positive girl and stuff. That's likely because I was born REALLY early and coulda died like a bunch of times. But like I'm pretty healthy now, maybe some spacial awareness issues idk? But because of that, maybe I might be more innately positive?

Anyways!! I do have a point here!! I have shitty days sometimes Blanc! You've seen that firsthand! If you read some of my earlier posts in my blog, you'll see the terrible pain I was in just a few months ago. Dysphoria is terrible. It's just absolutely scary. But I was able to get through it, somehow, and now...I'm who I want to be, and who I feel best as. Life is really confusing sometimes, but...it's not like I have it all together, right? I still get dysphoria a lot, have to balance school and tennis, writing, all that! 人生はまだまだ続く。日々に、みんなは自分の命の道に歩くわ
Aaaah... I want more Pokemon plushies too... but I can't make a good excuse to fit more in my room! LOL, they're so expensive too...
I want a Victini plushie sooooo badddd but it's $40!!!!! 高すぎるわ。。。
Ah, at any rate, I guess I should call my parents now. Thanks for boarding, as always!
Have funnnnn~

本当にね、ここに来てくれて、ありがとうございます。優しい人ですよ。たくさん言いたいことがありますが。。。ピッタリ単語の記憶がないですねw。もちろん英語ができますわよ~

anyways, you're a very nice person blanc, so really, thanks a lot for being here!!!
 

Blanc

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Ah, hmm... a 3v1, huh...

Capture.PNG
 

Blanc

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(I'll reply to stuff soon!)

Just writing down this epiphany I had.

Speaking of In this Hell we live, Lament, no idea why I didn't have this art idea before. The two speakers in this song are actually the same person speaking to each other from different points in time, the past self and the future self.

And given the events of PLA... ohohoho... Oh, I have such a diabolical art idea. Also, it's a banger, the lyrics are so good. Expect sketches soon. Hope this way I won't forget!
 

Blanc

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I didn't know that was a thing!! Thanks for telling me haha! Origami Angel has a really special connection to me, it reminds me of the time where I (to no fault of either of ours, it was a 仕方がない situation) lost my best friend (who last month, I was able to reestablish contact with). That album, Somewhere City, took my pain away. He actually told me that he listened to a few of his songs and that's about the moment where I fell in love with him again~
That's a really touching little story... The band has a really nice vibe, though musically they're not the same, they give me the same feeling as the band I listen to called "Have a Nice Day!". I'm really glad you got to reconcile with your friend too... I'm sure it adds another layer of feelings, I've felt similar about certain songs!!
It's been a great week, I hope we have many many of those!! I'm glad we're making friends so quickly, and you've made an amazing presence!!
You're gonna make me blush! I haven't done too much, I think! LOL I'm just bumbling my way through, so it means a lot you've been bumbling along with me! I'm trying to have more ups than downs and being here does help a bit!
Maybe I am a person who is just like this, but, I do think that it's mostly you! Because it was you, I was able to become such good friends with you that quickly! 特別な人なら特別な関係ができますよ。もちろんブランクさんはそんな人ですよ!
ルチアさんは優しいですね。代わりにルチアちゃんって呼んでもいいのかな?特別な友情。。。 本当にうれしいです。自分の壁が壊されることをずっと恐れていたので、それが悪いことではないとわかってよかったです。本当にうれしいです。私のような意志薄弱な者に手を差し伸べていただき、ありがとうございます!
本当ですよ!出会った時からの時間は少なくても。。。ブランクさんはお姉さんのようにあたしといい友達になりました。だから。。。こちらこそ。あたしはブランクさんのおかげで、もっと嬉しいになったことがいっぱいありました。これからも、もっといい友達になりたいわ!

それに。。。前に聞きませんでしたが(それはごめんね~)。。。「お姉さん」と呼ばれても、いいですか?もちろん好きじゃないなら今やめてもいいですよ~
私はあなたが私のことを お姉さん と呼んでもかまいません!ルチアさんにそんな風に思ってもらえるなんて、本当に幸せです。。。当に恥ずかしい、何度お礼を言えばいいのだろう!? ルチアさんが優しすぎて、私のか弱い心が感動しすぎています。。。感謝の気持ちでいっぱいです。 私は強いお姉さんではないかもしれないけど、ルチアさんにそう思ってもらえて、本当にうれしいです!♡ 日本語も上手ですね!
AI, as in...artificial intelligence!? (I really need to get into the JP community like you, it seems very fun! and beneficial!)
You got it! It was a suuuper early theory in B/W era because of Emmet's very quirky mannerisms of talking, that he was an AI built to aid Ingo. Of course, no one believes in it anymore but it still led to a lot of fun concepts. Translating his JP directly is always very odd, and... I want to say grammatically incorrect, but it's so tricky to be sure. According to some others I've spoken with though, his speech is slightly incorrect on purpose, so I don't think I'm off the mark. The twins are a very unique translation experience, LOL. I definitely recommend it! Making friends with native speakers is the entire reason I got more serious about my JP beyond just translating stuff for myself. I sadly don't think many of the JP forums I used to frequent are available without VPNs now (such as Pokerin which is now Pokemon-matome), but if you frequent socials like twitter and pixiv, you can find similar spaces. If you find the right niches you can find some very lovely people!
I love that!! Whatever it is, if it's with friends it tends to become very fun! Blanc we should watch something together sometime!!!! :)
You would with me?? I'm touched!! I would love to! It'd be so fun! Woohoo anime watch nights!
I'm like this too! I tend to dislike popular ones...not always? MHA was OK really but it's not my fav. Really the anime genres that I love are romance (surprise! unless if it's not...), sports (this one is absolutely a surprise, I don't like watching sports except hockey, but give this girl a sports anime and she'll absolutely love it), and...magical girl? (only the PowerPuff Girls Z anime, but I can't watch it rn because my Switch is broken...)
I love anime from the early 2000s. Blanc, you may have been juuuust old enough to see some when they were fairly new!? The visual novel I'm writing is set in the early 2000s lol, love that setting~
YEAH, I don't know why but I'm just never that into what's popular unless I manage to get ahold of it before it blows up. It's not even that I'm 'trying' to be hipster or anything. I do love a good romance anime from time to time too! But as I've gotten older, my tastes in terms of romance has gotten... pretty fucking picky, LOL. Usually I'm not into them anymore unless the dynamics between the girl and boy are just how I like them... otherwise I stick to my BL and GL cause that's all I really ingest romance wise these days. SPORTS ANIME! I want to love them again, I haven't thoroughly enjoyed one since Free! and I want to feel that again. I'd love to read your visual novel sometime! I had no idea you were making one!! And yeah, LOL my interests are pretty old school now, but they probably feel much older to you...wow I'm ancient. LOL. Early 2000s anime had a charm we just don't see these days! I was all about everything CLAMP tbh.
I'm so indecisive!!! But you can decide on...talking to us, or something!? Do what makes you happy Blanc!
Rushing in to talk to you now! I ended up playing PLA again, LOL. I didn't have the vibe to draw. I caught a shiny duskull! She's strawberry colored...it's so cute. I need to think of a cute name...
Something I've learned in my veryshort lifespan is that nobody has it together!! ...unless if you're a liar? See, for me, like, I'm a really positive girl and stuff. That's likely because I was born REALLY early and coulda died like a bunch of times. But like I'm pretty healthy now, maybe some spacial awareness issues idk? But because of that, maybe I might be more innately positive?

Anyways!! I do have a point here!! I have shitty days sometimes Blanc! You've seen that firsthand! If you read some of my earlier posts in my blog, you'll see the terrible pain I was in just a few months ago. Dysphoria is terrible. It's just absolutely scary. But I was able to get through it, somehow, and now...I'm who I want to be, and who I feel best as. Life is really confusing sometimes, but...it's not like I have it all together, right? I still get dysphoria a lot, have to balance school and tennis, writing, all that! 人生はまだまだ続く。日々に、みんなは自分の命の道に歩くわ
Wish I could soak up some of that positivity! I know I'm gonna sound old again saying this, but I was a lot like you when I was 13 or so, I see a lot of my younger self in you, to be honest! LOL, and I don't mean for it to sound dismal but life really beat that side of me out of me, so I'm not like that anymore...but it's good, really good to know people like you still exist despite it all. You're very strong, Lisia, and you do a lot for your age, you're much more active than I was, that's for sure! Unfortunately when I was around the age you were was when things kind of hit rock bottom for me, so I don't want people to see glimpses of that or like... have any similar feeling. I wish things weren't tough at all growing up, but I guess that's life for everyone. I'm really happy you've been able to pull through it.
I want a Victini plushie sooooo badddd but it's $40!!!!! 高すぎるわ。。。
ME BUT WITH A GIRATINA RN...
本当にね、ここに来てくれて、ありがとうございます。優しい人ですよ。たくさん言いたいことがありますが。。。ピッタリ単語の記憶がないですねw。もちろん英語ができますわよ~

anyways, you're a very nice person blanc, so really, thanks a lot for being here!!!
ルチアさんにも言えることですが!!

And you're very very sweet, Lisia! I know I've said thank you a lot already too... but I really do mean it! There's a special seat in the subway always waiting for you! Thank you for making such a nice destination! I'm glad I don't mouth your ear off!! LOL
 

Blanc

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Ingo realllly wants to raid today, I'm not feeling it, but I think I'll do it for her. LOL. Having some self esteem issues today... Oh well, I'll be a good friend and feed her love for high-end content.
 

ConfectionerMari

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aving some self esteem issues today... Oh well, I'll be a good friend and feed her love for high-end content.
it's me, self esteem police!!! love yourself you are too cool!!! :bulbaLove: :bulbaLove: :bulbaLove:
Making friends with native speakers is the entire reason I got more serious about my JP beyond just translating stuff for myself. I sadly don't think many of the JP forums I used to frequent are available without VPNs now (such as Pokerin which is now Pokemon-matome), but if you frequent socials like twitter and pixiv, you can find similar spaces. If you find the right niches you can find some very lovely people!
I would totally do this if I could actually write in Japanese. I can only read hiragana and some kanji currently, which sucks because it would be so cool to talk with people in Japanese! I really just am struggling right now in my studies, like everything else in my life I lack motivation to actually do it, I always feel like I'm stuck dreaming y'know? I wish I could say "by x time I'll be writing/speaking understandable sentences" but currently I'm stuck.
I don't know why but I'm just never that into what's popular unless I manage to get ahold of it before it blows up. It's not even that I'm 'trying' to be hipster or anything.
I don't really watch a lot of anime, I usually only rewatch series I like (cough cough Madoka Magica COUGH) so I kind of understand? If you have any recommendations though I'd love to hear them! Same goes for manga and music,

I hope you have a great day Blanc! I'm going to make some instant ramen now and try to feel better after listening to Meltdown by iroha(sasaki) with Kagamine Rin again for the 5th time in a row
 

Blanc

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1651608052446.png

This episode on the gang takes on UBU (Ultima's Ballad Unreal)... This can only... end well.

1651608309785.png

Everything's fine. LMAO (it isn't.)

UPDATE: NEVERMIND WE CLEARED. IT'S OVER. WE WON. LMAO

UPDATE OF UPDATE: INGO IS MAKING US GO IN AGAIN ROUND 2 I GUESS
 
Last edited:

Blanc

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OKAY NOW THAT I’M OUT OF RAID HELL…

it's me, self esteem police!!! love yourself you are too cool!!! :bulbaLove: :bulbaLove: :bulbaLove:
awww thank you, Mari. Been feeling not very confident in myself again. It’s not a new feeling, but it’s definitely one I’m trying to ignore. Hopefully I’ll pull through it. I think you’re WAY cooler!!
would totally do this if I could actually write in Japanese. I can only read hiragana and some kanji currently, which sucks because it would be so cool to talk with people in Japanese! I really just am struggling right now in my studies, like everything else in my life I lack motivation to actually do it, I always feel like I'm stuck dreaming y'know? I wish I could say "by x time I'll be writing/speaking understandable sentences" but currently I'm stuck.
HONESTLY… I’m about to tell you a giant secret. I started conversing with others way back when I used machine translation for kanji/phrases I didn’t know (so my sentences would be a mixture of my handwritten sentences and machine translation to fill in blanks) and if you notify people you’re still learning they’ll always be more than happy to teach you. Japan culturally is a country big on respect, it is seen as very respectful to speak in their native language, even if you have to use machine translation half the time to do it. I have more JP friends than I can count on one hand and the results of when I met them back when I was more novice were the same. If you’re struggling for motivation though and still too scared to reach out, I suggest attempting translating stuff you like, even if you still have to use machine translation for bits and pieces, you can definitely learn bit by bit this way. I suggest something like 4komas to start small, of any sort of medias you’re into. But real talk natives are very open to others learning the language, (in fact, REALLY open, I have JP friends asking to voice chat with me and I’m soooo embarrassed because I can’t do spoken JP AT ALL). But yeah don’t worry about learning xxx amount by xxx time, my learning process was very gradual. You can do it!!

I don't really watch a lot of anime, I usually only rewatch series I like (cough cough Madoka Magica COUGH) so I kind of understand? If you have any recommendations though I'd love to hear them! Same goes for manga and music,
Madoka Magica is soooo fucking good omg. That was one I got into before it blew up. I definitely don’t watch as much as I used to, but because I watched so many when I was younger I’ve become super jaded to tropes and particular plotlines, I actually made it harder for me to find stuff I enjoy because it has to be stuff that’s very different or surprising (like Madoka was when it first released). I also just like anime that make me cry LMAO. One of my favorite anime of all time is Penguindrum, but anything directed by Ikuhara is really good. I already mentioned this one so I’m sorry I’m repeating myself but Eighty-Six is the most recent one I’ve seen that ‘wowed’ me, same for Vivy. Takt Op Destiny was one I loved conceptually, and the animation is stunning, I cosplayed it! So I’d say it’s pretty good. An older one I enjoyed was Gosick, and of course Rozen Maiden. Princess Principal is also one I fell in love with, it’s really rare for me to love every character in an all girl cast but Princess Principal really sold it for me! Ohh my god I remember one episode of it really hit different.

If you want to really feel something, I recommend ERASED, Anohana or Violet Evergarden. Those really fucking hit LOL. As for music, I’ve recently been binging Nightclub’s album Die Die Lullaby again. It’s a nice blend of synth/pop and gothic!

I hope you have a great day Blanc! I'm going to make some instant ramen now and try to feel better after listening to Meltdown by iroha(sasaki) with Kagamine Rin again for the 5th time in a row
Riiight now, I’m doing my best! Talking here always helps, so thank you Mari!! I hope your ramen was good, I’m just winding down from raid and will probably nap soon. Goddd LOL MY AGEEE MY AGE IS SHOWING… Meltdown is so good, I miss the early 2009-2011 vocaloid era sometimes… I remember crying the first time I heard Kokoro… There was something magical about vocaloid being something niche back then, of course I’m happy it’s so viral now, but there was a certain NND magic back then I can’t describe… I hope your ramen was good!
 

ConfectionerMari

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HONESTLY… I’m about to tell you a giant secret. I started conversing with others way back when I used machine translation for kanji/phrases I didn’t know (so my sentences would be a mixture of my handwritten sentences and machine translation to fill in blanks) and if you notify people you’re still learning they’ll always be more than happy to teach you. Japan culturally is a country big on respect, it is seen as very respectful to speak in their native language, even if you have to use machine translation half the time to do it. I have more JP friends than I can count on one hand and the results of when I met them back when I was more novice were the same
Maybe I'll try then! (EDIT: Can anyone make a pixiv? I don't think my art is that amazing yet, but who knows?)
Meltdown is so good, I miss the early 2009-2011 vocaloid era sometimes… I remember crying the first time I heard Kokoro… There was something magical about vocaloid being something niche back then, of course I’m happy it’s so viral now, but there was a certain NND magic back then I can’t describe… I hope your ramen was good!
I only got into vocaloid around 2017-2019, but I understand what you mean. While I'm happy vocaloid is so mainstream now, I wish I could have seen 2009-2011 NND. Do you know Double Lariat? I don't know if that is the exact name, it's the one where luka spins for the whole video. It's one of my favorites!
 
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Blanc

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Maybe I'll try then! (EDIT: Can anyone make a pixiv? I don't think my art is that amazing yet, but who knows?)
Yup! Anyone can. A lot of my JP friends are from twitter but I know twitter sure is… a place, LOL. So if you want somewhere quieter to start pixiv also works really well. I’d love to see Mari art personally!!

I only got into vocaloid around 2017-2019, but I understand what you mean. While I'm happy vocaloid is so mainstream now, I wish I could have seen 2009-2011 NND. Do you know Double Lariat? I don't know if that is the exact name, it's the one where luka spins for the whole video. It's one of my favorites!
Oh my god I am so ancient. Primordial, even. LMAOOOOO. I do know Double Lariat! I was into vocaloid when it first released, even! I still love that one a lot. I’m glad even newer fans are finding the old classics, I love hearing that! UTAUs were also super big back then, I know there’s some about now, but they tend to be a bit scarcer these days— Hell, even I had an UTAU back then.

I think the early years of vocaloid from when I experienced it were very ‘whimsical’ of their own accord because… it was something everyone was jumping onto, not just people pursuing music as a career. It spread like wildfire into every fandom too, and it was niche enough that you had to sort of be ‘in the know’ with all the random meme songs and fanon lore that was being built, such as Miku’s love for green onions. Speaking of UTAUs, to this day I still listen to this one of Nobori (Ingo) when I’m getting ready in the morning, LOL! It’s just so catchy! (And I’m ashamed to admit I know all the words more than I know the original… LOL) There just was a vocaloid song for everything back then, and that was pretty fun.
 

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A lot of my JP friends are from twitter but I know twitter sure is… a place, LOL. So if you want somewhere quieter to start pixiv also works really well. I’d love to see Mari art personally!!
I do have an inactive twitter, but maybe I should try to use it again! Also I just created a pixiv, I just want to make some new art for it first. If you want, you can start a conversation and I'll send you the usernames I'm using for them (I'm too shy to post them publicly lol)
 

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it's me, self esteem police!!! love yourself you are too cool!!! :bulbaLove: :bulbaLove: :bulbaLove:
YESSS!!
I would totally do this if I could actually write in Japanese. I can only read hiragana and some kanji currently, which sucks because it would be so cool to talk with people in Japanese! I really just am struggling right now in my studies, like everything else in my life I lack motivation to actually do it, I always feel like I'm stuck dreaming y'know? I wish I could say "by x time I'll be writing/speaking understandable sentences" but currently I'm stuck.
It's a work in progress always!! So, just trey to devote just a lil bit of your time to studying, or chatting with people, or something, and you can do it!
I hope you have a great day Blanc! I'm going to make some instant ramen now and try to feel better after listening to Meltdown by iroha(sasaki) with Kagamine Rin again for the 5th time in a row
I love that one!! Super fun to play on Project Diva, that part in the middle where it stops has tricked me sometimes...!!
I remember crying the first time I heard Kokoro…
Didn't cry, but that song has made me feel emotions before!! Love playing that one too~
There was something magical about vocaloid being something niche back then, of course I’m happy it’s so viral now, but there was a certain NND magic back then I can’t describe…
....Blanc, I think we share a nostalgia for the 2000-2011ish timeperiod. Like, I just love all sorts of stuff from the era!! (2000s anime YES, any old vocaloid, most of my favorite bands were active or starting around then, etc) Have you seen the PV for Kasane Territory!? I first saw it when I was getting into Vocaloid a few years ago!!
ルチアさんは優しいですね。代わりにルチアちゃんって呼んでもいいのかな?特別な友情。。。 本当にうれしいです。自分の壁が壊されることをずっと恐れていたので、それが悪いことではないとわかってよかったです。本当にうれしいです。私のような意志薄弱な者に手を差し伸べていただき、ありがとうございます!

私はあなたが私のことを お姉さん と呼んでもかまいません!ルチアさんにそんな風に思ってもらえるなんて、本当に幸せです。。。当に恥ずかしい、何度お礼を言えばいいのだろう!? ルチアさんが優しすぎて、私のか弱い心が感動しすぎています。。。感謝の気持ちでいっぱいです。 私は強いお姉さんではないかもしれないけど、ルチアさんにそう思ってもらえて、本当にうれしいです!♡ 日本語も上手ですね!
はい、もちろんそれでいいいですよ!リシアで書きます!ORASの日本語版に、あのキャラの名前は「ルチア」ですが。。。w
You got it! It was a suuuper early theory in B/W era because of Emmet's very quirky mannerisms of talking, that he was an AI built to aid Ingo. Of course, no one believes in it anymore but it still led to a lot of fun concepts. Translating his JP directly is always very odd, and... I want to say grammatically incorrect, but it's so tricky to be sure. According to some others I've spoken with though, his speech is slightly incorrect on purpose, so I don't think I'm off the mark. The twins are a very unique translation experience, LOL. I definitely recommend it! Making friends with native speakers is the entire reason I got more serious about my JP beyond just translating stuff for myself. I sadly don't think many of the JP forums I used to frequent are available without VPNs now (such as Pokerin which is now Pokemon-matome), but if you frequent socials like twitter and pixiv, you can find similar spaces. If you find the right niches you can find some very lovely people!
I'll try my best with this!!
You would with me?? I'm touched!! I would love to! It'd be so fun! Woohoo anime watch nights!
Absolutely!! We definitely need to do itttt, it'd be VERY fun!
YEAH, I don't know why but I'm just never that into what's popular unless I manage to get ahold of it before it blows up. It's not even that I'm 'trying' to be hipster or anything. I do love a good romance anime from time to time too! But as I've gotten older, my tastes in terms of romance has gotten... pretty fucking picky, LOL. Usually I'm not into them anymore unless the dynamics between the girl and boy are just how I like them... otherwise I stick to my BL and GL cause that's all I really ingest romance wise these days.
あたしはBLも好きです、「ササキとミヤノ」という漫画は初めてのロマンス漫画、ストーリーはかわいかったです!
SPORTS ANIME! I want to love them again, I haven't thoroughly enjoyed one since Free! and I want to feel that again. I'd love to read your visual novel sometime! I had no idea you were making one!! And yeah, LOL my interests are pretty old school now, but they probably feel much older to you...wow I'm ancient. LOL. Early 2000s anime had a charm we just don't see these days! I was all about everything CLAMP tbh.
It's still in the MAJOR planning stage, just a few pages of notes that I have, but I hope to somehow make good progress this summer...!! And CLAMP made Cardcaptor Sakura!! A cute one that I've been thinking about watching...is it worth it!? As for old interests, I guess maybe it's older, but I feel more at home with that time period, really? So even if it's oldish to you, it's also old to me, but it's still good! ...that doesn't make sense...
Rushing in to talk to you now! I ended up playing PLA again, LOL. I didn't have the vibe to draw. I caught a shiny duskull! She's strawberry colored...it's so cute. I need to think of a cute name...
「イチゴ」www, I tend to name my Pokémon in Japanese for fun!! PLA sounds fun to play, I wish I could right about now...
Wish I could soak up some of that positivity! I know I'm gonna sound old again saying this, but I was a lot like you when I was 13 or so, I see a lot of my younger self in you, to be honest! LOL, and I don't mean for it to sound dismal but life really beat that side of me out of me, so I'm not like that anymore...but it's good, really good to know people like you still exist despite it all. You're very strong, Lisia, and you do a lot for your age, you're much more active than I was, that's for sure! Unfortunately when I was around the age you were was when things kind of hit rock bottom for me, so I don't want people to see glimpses of that or like... have any similar feeling. I wish things weren't tough at all growing up, but I guess that's life for everyone. I'm really happy you've been able to pull through it.
Even if that's not how you are, at least life hasn't defeated you~!! I appreciate your kind words, and I hope I'll be able to continue being like this! And I'm sure you'll end up regaining at least a lil bit of it! Really one thing I do recognize that we do have common (and by extension your former self) is that you're still very friendly/welcoming!! Anyways you are a very amazing person in general so don't be sad that you've become different, that's just proving that your life has been crazy but you're still here and OK!!
ME BUT WITH A GIRATINA RN...
残念ンんンんンんン
ルチアさんにも言えることですが!!
じゃあ、それは二人のあたしたちわね!w
And you're very very sweet, Lisia! I know I've said thank you a lot already too... but I really do mean it! There's a special seat in the subway always waiting for you! Thank you for making such a nice destination! I'm glad I don't mouth your ear off!! LOL
I don't think any one of my friends could talk too much! It's always very very nice spending time with them so...glad I could hop abooooooaaard!
 

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I’m really sorry, professor, please forgive me, I made a mistake again and just want to rest a bit longer. I’m sorrrry…(my own fault)
 

takoyaki

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I’m really sorry, professor, please forgive me, I made a mistake again and just want to rest a bit longer. I’m sorrrry…(my own fault)
Your rest is more important than us!! Don't feel like we're a burden, please try to get all the rest that you need to function!!
sleep well~
 

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Your rest is more important than us!! Don't feel like we're a burden, please try to get all the rest that you need to function!!
sleep well~
Thank you, Lisia… I had a lot of plans today but ended up having to cancel all of them… my body is very not good right now… Aughhhh…

Very not good right now (physically) everything please stand byyyyyyyyy—
 

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Thank you, Lisia… I had a lot of plans today but ended up having to cancel all of them… my body is very not good right now… Aughhhh…

Very not good right now (physically) everything please stand byyyyyyyyy—
よく寝てね、死なないでください。。。~
 

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my aunt came in and asked me “are you going out for dinner with us” and I said “uhh… sure” in my weak sleep voice and she said “Good, you need to get out of the house”
LOOOL… me being a hermit gets arrowed into me again.

Ugh, I just want to sleep and sleep and sleep though… The S in Subway Master actually stands for Sleep Master.
 

ConfectionerMari

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Ugh, I just want to sleep and sleep and sleep though… The S in Subway Master actually stands for Sleep Master.
Reminds me of the game grumps sleepy time junction, I used to watch it all the time when I was younger.

Also yay, a fellow hermit! (I know it’s not supposed to be a good thing it’s just a fear of talking to people and stares)

I hope you feel better soon!!

Also I’m guessing you use hashtags to find people on Twitter? I’ll keep on trying, I’m just afraid of replying lol
 
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