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MATURE: Absolute Authority

Destructive Idiot

It is I: ME!
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Absolute Authority

So, here's a lil' fic of mine that I decided to make 10 seconds ago (no; not really). I decided to give it a "MATURE" prefix because I intend to have people curse about as often as they do in real life, and discuss (and experience) disturbing topics more frequently than they do in most Pokémon fics. If you want to know what the plot's about, read the bloody fic.

Okay; fine. Here's a summary of the plot, if you can't resist the urge to spoil yourself:
The story's set in an alternate universe, one year after the confrontation between N and the protagonist of Black and White. In this reality, N defeated–and killed–said protagonist. Ghetsis now reigns Unova with an iron fist through him. Upon conquering Unova, N began a campaign to dominate the world, and separate people from Pokémon by so doing–forever. Some inhabitants of Unova recognize that Ghetsis is abusing his power while using N as a puppet king, but everyone remains quiet about the subject. The protagonists have similar backgrounds to those they have in Black 2 and White 2, aside from the year they had to spend as refugees in a traumatizing struggle to hold on to their Pokémon once N rose to power. They eventually fled the region and found sanctuary in Kalos. Now that N's begun to invade the region, however, the protagonists must steel themselves and depose his twisted regime.
Chapter List:

Season 1:
Chapter 1 - Violent Savior
Chapter 2 - Gentle Heroine
Chapter 3 - When Life Gives You​



Chapter 1

It was an ordinary day, like any other... aside from the fact that part of Vaniville Town was burning.

The King of Unova had begun a merciless campaign against Kalos for refusing to submit to his authority. He and Team Plasma, the governing body that enforced his laws upon those under his dominion and recently began serving as a military contingent in hostile regions, began taking over Kalos with a brutal policy of shock and awe. They hit the larger cities first, slaughtering any civilians who'd refuse to either surrender their Pokémon or run away in desperation. Most of the time, Trainers considered the latter option the wiser.

But not today.

Today, two Trainers in particular stood apostate to N and his command.

One of them, a dark-haired girl with blue eyes, was busy escorting Vaniville's denizens out of the town–hopefully to safehouses or other settlements. In the meanwhile, the second Trainer, a dark-haired boy with brown eyes, put forth everything he had to quench the flames with his Greninja. Both of the Trainers were at the mere age of 13.

While N had established a foothold in Lumiose City, Team Plasma ravaged the less urban Kalos settlements. This was one of the more brutal days; some Team Plasma cronies slaughtered civilians without warning or provocation. Their corpses laid on the ground, crushed and beaten, some with visible bones and other internal tissues, while others suffered more tolerable injuries, such as severed limbs and untreated flesh wounds.

The boy found himself confronted by two Team Plasma grunts.

"What the hell do you think you're doing? Aren't you a little young to be handling Pokémon?" one inquired.

The other grunt didn't waste any time, sending out a Breloom without hesitation.

"Time for a beating," the first grunt declared. "Go, Ferrothorn!"

"You're overestimating your chances," the boy replied. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Power Whip!" the first grunt declared.

"Seed Bomb!" the second grunt followed.

As expected, Nate thought to himself. Why can't adults like them be reasonable for once?

The child calmly told his Greninja, "Use Ice Beam on Breloom. Please and thank you."

The Greninja fired a shot of ice at the Breloom. It leapt back, shivering, then reluctantly fired a Seed Bomb. It made a direct hit on the Greninja's forehead, but, instead of beating the Greninja down, it froze and shattered.

The second grunt stepped back in shock. The Ferrothorn's Power Whip proceeded to strike the Greninja, then freeze and wither.

"Mach Punch, damn it!" the second grunt commanded.

The Breloom complied, jumping towards the Greninja and smacking it across the face.

"Power Whip!" the first grunt ordered again.

"You idiot!" the second grunt exclaimed, turning towards his colleague.

What a dumbass... Nate thought to himself as the grunts began to bicker.

The Greninja looked at Nate, awaiting an order. Nate nodded. The Greninja fired another Ice Beam at the Breloom, immediately knocking it out.

"Fuck this! I'm out!" the second grunt yelled with a florid face, withdrawing his Breloom and running away.

"Where are you going?! We were winning!" the first grunt replied, recalling his Ferrothorn and chasing after him.

"Do us both a favor and freeze those pansies," Nate said, his short brown hair and khakis fluttering in the intense wind that resulted from Team Plasma members and Vaniville locals flying all over the city.

The Greninja fulfilled his Trainer's request, firing perfectly accurate Ice Beams at both of them until they were eventually coated in ice.

Nate resumed, "Nice work. That ought to give them an awful case of hypothermia." He wandered into the building he and his Greninja drove the Team Plasma grunts away from. It happened to be a library. As he sought out flames, which his Greninja promptly put out, he began reflecting to himself on all the lost time he could've spent with his first Pokémon.

I wish I hadn't lost my Oshawott–we could've had so much fun together, he thought to himself. I'll never take the time we might get to spend with each other for granted ever again.

As he thought this, wandering through a hallway, an unexpected visitor made his way across a left corner. Another Team Plasma grunt.

"Scald," Nate immediately ordered.

The Greninja followed his instructions, spewing boiling hot water across the grunt's upper body.

The water slowly condensed on his face as he screamed.
 
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Hmm.

The introductory chapter is way too short for my taste (a mere 734 words) but you've really set the dark tone of the story. Personally, I'd go with 3,000-5,000 words per chapter as a good guideline.

That said, in media res is a good choice for this fic but I do hope you'll show us flashbacks of how this whole war started.

All in all, the grammar is solid in this story and it does hold the promise of being quite a well-written war story.

I do have a question, will the fights be exclusively using pokémon or will they be using weapons as well?
 
I do have a question, will the fights be exclusively using pokémon or will they be using weapons as well?

The vast majority will only involve Pokémon, since it'd be difficult to use weapons while assessing a Pokémon battle, neither Team Plasma nor the protagonists usually have access to them, and some Pokémon render firearms and other conventional weapons ineffective (if anyone actually uses any to begin with).
 
...yeah, no, N wouldn't do that. Ghetsis, absolutely, but if you're going to write a story like this, it's important that you remember that N doesn't want to conquer the world, Ghetsis does. But disregarding that... just have Roxie do some cool stuff and I'll be good.
 
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