TEEN: Artistic Vision

[creativelover93]

Spring had finally come to Lumiose City. The flowers started to bloom. Fletchlings were singing courting songs and the weather was starting to warm up.

It was early March, meaning it was the near end of winter. It had been raining and snowing for the past couple of days. The gutters, birdbaths and roofs were all filled with rainwater. Rain puddles and semi-frozen white sludge were all over the sidewalks and streets. The pedestrians had always commented that it looked like melted slushies.

Zack felt a cold breeze through his fair skin. His short caramel-blonde hair blew in the air, to the point that some of the strands hit his face. He usually loves a good sweet air, but hates it when it gets too windy. His dark green cuffed jacket flapped in the air.

Zack began rolling down South Boulevard, taking in all the sights around him. He was feeling a bit awed by the cafes and restaurants ahead of him.

There was Professor Sycamore’s Lab, Pokémon Center, PR Video Studio, Coiffure Clips and Pokémon Research Center. South Boulevard had plenty of school buildings, medical facilities and offices. South Boulevard also has its own clothing shops, food stores and household goods.

Townhouses were old and beige with a dormer window on a blue roof. They had large or small balconies situated on the third floor. Some had them on the top windows.

Zackary had a disability for as long as he can remember. He cannot walk and has to be in a wheelchair to get around. At night, he would place his wheelchair next to his bed and tuck himself under the covers. When it’s morning, he would get himself out of bed, changing out of his pajamas and into his clothes. It's diffcult, but that was a part of his daily and evening routine.

Sometimes, Lumiose City looked the same. Every building looked alike. There were a lot of people, cars, and even kids playing with each other everywhere along with their pokémon.

He never liked Lumiose City that much. It was too noisy and was easy to get lost in if you don’t have a map in your pokédex. He had always preferred sleepy towns over big bustling cities. However, he couldn't help but linger over what happened last week…

“Where are you going?!” Zack shouted. The mysterious figure didn’t respond and just kept on going.

“Come back here!” Zack shouted once more, chasing after his pokémon.

The mysterious figure didn’t say anything and ran into the sun. It just kept running and running without a care in the world. Zack couldn’t catch up with him or even sent out his pokémon to track it down. It was too late. His pokémon was already gone, never to be seen again.

“I can’t believe it…” Zack said as his eyes started to water up. “I’ve been abandoned by my own pokémon…”

Zack’s eyes started to water up again, upset from what had become of his former pokémon partner. He got so lost in his own thoughts and memories that he didn’t know his tears were dripping on his face and his jacket.

Do I really deserve to be a pokémon trainer?….

His thoughts of doubt and despair began to cloud his mind as the situation truly set in. Were he and his partner really that uncompatible? Was it really his fault? Was his partner really a jerk from the beginning? Maybe he wasn't good enough to be a pokémon trainer at all. He doesn't know what to do in this situation. He began to wonder if his remaining pokémon wanted to do with him after last week. He wished he could figure it out why.

His anger boiled inside of a volcano, ready to erupt in all of glory. His emerald green eyes blazed with rage, and tears flowing right out of his eyes.

Images and voices ran through his head, starting with a loud scream. There were images of an unknown black silhouette creature that roared angrily into the night sky. Zack was surrounded in orange and yellow hot flames. He felt like he was trapped in a fire. His breath was getting shorter and shorter. His heart was racing. He was on the verge of having a panic attack.

Zack took a deep breath and slowly calmed down for a bit. He reached a pokéball from his satchel. He pressed the button, allowing the pokéball to burst open. It was a tiny white fairy creature holding a yellow flower.

Zack looked down at his first and only partner holding a yellow flower like a parasol. Flabébé are known to be the smallest pokémon in Kalos. Zack thought it was kind of cute that Flabébé could fit in his hand.

“At least I have you, Daphne,” Zack said, smiling sadly. “I don’t think I want a new partner just yet. I’m still hurt, and I don’t know how long I’ll move on from this.”

Daphne, the Flabébé let out a low sympathetic cry. Zack was grateful, but his sadness did not go away.

However, Daphne has a different opinion on Zack’s partner.

Daphne was secretly happy that her trainer’s old partner was gone for good. She didn’t want to hurt Zack’s feelings, so she had to hide her celebration of her so-called friend’s permanent absence.

She could see vague images of a small, shadowy figure looming over her. Daphne was standing in a corner and the shadow figure stared at her with narrow eyes. Just thinking about it made her blood boil. She can’t stand to see Zack cry over his ex-partner.

Daphne wished Zack could just move on and get a new pokémon already. She was already getting bored and lonely for too long. She wants a new friend to play with. Human or pokémon.

Spoiler: Spoiler: Note

Originally Zack was going to have a Honedge, Bunnelby and Swirlix at the point of this writing, but I changed it to Flabebe at the last second. Also the first chapter was not going to be a prolouge either.

 

[Torchic W. Pip]

This story has everything I've always wanted in a story: Kalos, artists, and Kalos.

Quick thing before I get into the story: You might want to add a rating prefix (EVERYONE, TEEN, or MATURE) and, if required, content warnings.

The flowers started to bloom, Fletchlings were singing courting songs and the weather was starting to warm up.

Not gonna critique here, because the Oxford comma is used by some people and not used by others.

Zack felt a cold breeze through his fair skin. His short caramel-blonde hair blows in the air, to the point that some of the strands hit his face. He usually loves a good sweet air, but he hates it when it gets too windy or chilly. He could feel his dark green cuffed jacket flapping in the air.

Tense change here. Either stick with present tense or past tense.

That being said, I like your descriptions: short yet effective. They help paint the scene (pun intended).

There was Professor Sycamore’s Lab, Pokemon Center, the famous PR Video Studio, Coiffure Clips and Pokeball Research Center.

There should be a "the" before "Pokémon Center" and "Pokéball Research Center".

Zack began rolling down South Boulevard, taking in all the sights around him.

It took a while for the chapter to establish that we were in Lumiose City. While there were things that hinted at that (Sycamore's Lab, for example), the establishing felt a little awkward, because it went from the broadness of Kalos to the specific-ness of South Boulveard without the bridge of Lumiose City, if that metaphor makes sense.

But good job with expanding Lumiose City.

All the townhouses

This feels a bit awkward without an "of" before "the", but it might also be grammatically correct, I'm not 100% sure.

All the townhouses were old and beige with a dormer window on a blue roof. They also have large or small balconies situated on the third floor. Some have them on the top windows.

Tense change again.

He had cerebral palsy as he cannot walk and has to be in a wheelchair to get around.

I'm not a doctor/expert on cerebral palsy, so I'll leave that to someone who's more knowledgeable. What I can say, however, is that there's a mid-sentence tense change.

When it’s morning, he would get himself out of bed and change his pajamas into his clothes.

The wording of this makes it sound like he's transforming his pajamas into his clothes with magic or something. I don't think that's what you're going for, so I would reword it as:
he would get himself out of bed and change out of his pajamas and into his clothes.

Also tense change.

South Boulevard had plenty of school buildings, medical facilities and offices. South Boulevard also has its own clothing shops, food stores and household goods.

Tense change, but I like the expanding of South Boulevard.

pokemon

Pokémon should be capitalized (it should also have an accent over the e, but since some people might not be able to do that so easily, I'll let it slide).

He had prefer sleepy towns over big bustling cities.

The wording of this sentence is a bit awkward. I would reword it as:
He had always preferred sleepy towns over big bustling cities.

However, he couldn't help but linger over what happened last week…

"Had" before "happened".

Also oooh mysterious flashback time.

“Where are you going?!” Zack shouted. The mysterious figure didn’t respond and just kept on going.

“Come back here!” Zack shouted once more, chasing after his pokemon.

This scene is a bit confusing. At first, I thought the mysterious figure was, say, a wild Pokémon, only to realize that it was one of Zack's Pokémon. This could be best remedied by not using the term "mysterious Pokémon".

“I can’t believe it…” Zack said as his eyes started to water up. “I’ve been abandoned by my own pokemon…”

Oooooh what happened that led to Zack's Pokémon abandoning him? Who is this Pokémon?

He got so lost in his own thoughts and memories that he didn’t know his tears were dripping on the page,

"The page" is a weird phrase to use, since a book(?) hasn't been established, much less a page in the book.

You don't deserve to be a pokemon trainer after what you did….

Oh no what did he do

Was he and his partner really that uncompatible?

It should be "Were he".

Maybe he wasn't good enough to be a pokemon trainer at all?

I don't know if this is a question or a possibility statement. If it's the latter, that quesiton mark should be a period.

He began to wonder if his remaining pokemon wanted to do with him after ‘what he did’.

This sentence feels a bit awkward.

Then the volcano inside was his anger, ready to erupt in all of glory.

This one does too, but I like the metaphor.

His emerald green eyes blazing with rage, his tears flowing right out of his eyes.

His emerald green eyes blazed with rage, and tears flowed out of his eyes.

Images and voices ran through his head, starting with a loud scream. There were images of an unknown black silhouette creature that roars angrily into the night sky. Zack was surrounded in orange and yellow hot flames. He felt like he was trapped in a fire. His breath was getting shorter and shorter. His heart was racing. He was on the verge of having a panic attack.

Yeah, I can sort of relate to this, speaking from personal experience, though I know that different people experience/describe panic attacks in different ways. Interesting description and imagery of/simile to fire. Makes me wonder just how big this event that led to Zack's Pokémon leaving was.

"Roars" should be "roared".

“I don’t think I want a new partner just yet. I’m still hurt and I don’t know how long I’ll move on from this.”

There should be a comma after "hurt".

Daphne, the Flabebe let out a low sympathetic cry.

Comma after "Flabébé".

What Zack doesn’t know is that Daphne has a different opinion on Zack’s partner.

Tense change.

Daphne was secretly happy that her trainer’s old partner was gone for good. She didn’t want to hurt Zack’s feelings so she had to hide her celebration of her so-called friend’s permanent absence.

Comma after "feelings".

Oooh why did Daphne not like Zack's other Pokémon.

She could see vague images of a small, shadowy figure looming over her. Daphne was hiding in a corner and the shadow figure stared at her with narrow eyes. Just thinking about it made her want to cry and cower inside Zack’s hands. She can’t stand to see Zack cry over his ex-partner.

Abuse subtext perhaps?

This is a good start, though my biggest criticism is that the story doesn't have a consistent tense. Either stick to present tense or past tense.

There's some vagueness. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. That's not to say that I don't like the story. Aside from the things I mentioned, it's a pretty good read, and I can't wait to see what happens next.

 

[creativelover93]

Admittedly, I'm not very good when it comes to past and present tense. Don't know why I mixed them all up. I should try not to do it so much in the next chapter. I'll captailize pokemon, add the word the pokemon center and put the accent e next time. I should delete the word page because I forgot to delete it when I was posting this.

creativelover93 said:
He had cerebral palsy as he cannot walk and has to be in a wheelchair to get around.

I'm not a doctor/expert on cerebral palsy, so I'll leave that to someone who's more knowledgeable. What I can say, however, is that there's a mid-sentence tense change.

Me either, but sometimes it's hard to research things. Some people Cerebral Palsy can talk and some can't. I met people in wheelchairs in all forms. I could've make it vauge.

Oooh why did Daphne not like Zack's other Pokémon.

It will probably get a bit explained in the next chapter.

creativelover93 said:
She could see vague images of a small, shadowy figure looming over her. Daphne was hiding in a corner and the shadow figure stared at her with narrow eyes. Just thinking about it made her want to cry and cower inside Zack’s hands. She can’t stand to see Zack cry over his ex-partner.

Abuse subtext perhaps?

You're going to have to wait and see.

creativelover93 said:
You don't deserve to be a pokemon trainer after what you did….

Oh no what did he do

That was from his own thoughts. Should've wrote that he said it in his own thoughts so the readers can tell it was Zack.

I will upload this story to A03 with the fixed verison and fix chapter one sometime later. Thanks for the criticism, Torchic!

 

[System Error]

- The people have slushies on the mind
- Rolling? He a ball or riding something? Might wanna specify wheelchair sooner
- He was awed by stuff ahead of her? Either he's genderfluid, or that's a typo.
- No sense of direction and knowing things from memory from the looks of it if he can't find his way around a city he lives in
- Wow that turned dark. Also referencing mysterious incident
- Well that is some metal imagery.
- Omniscient third person huh? Could work. Wouldn't know this flower is yandere otherwise. Also the dark figure continues to be dark

They say true artists have to suffer and this dude suffered. Let's see where it goes from here.

 

[creativelover93]

All of the gatehouses resemble a small lobby with beige, cobblestone brick walls and tiled floors. Arch shaped windows were very hard to see, even if they’re lit up. A small handful of people sitting at tables and chairs talking about their day. Some people were sitting on the couch. There was a woman sitting on the reception desk.

Zack and Daphne were looking through their photo album. Daphne didn't care if the photos were too big for her to see. She made herself comfortable lying down on the table. Her yellow flower acted like a beach umbrella for her to lie under.

The first few pages started out with Zack placing an Electrike on his lap. Zack wore a green Christmas sweater and black pants. The Christmas tree stood in the background, showing off it’s colorful ornaments, popcorn and cranberry garland and and other various decorations. The golden star topper was cut off from the photo.

Zack couldn’t help but smile at his memory. He remembered on Christmas Day, he got Electrike as his first partner. His birthday didn’t come until January 21st. Not only was Electrike his Christmas gift, it was his early birthday gift too.

---

Two months ago, it was the start of Christmas in Snowbelle. Snowbelle was colder than Anistar and Dendemille, making it at least 20 degrees.

Everyone in Snowbelle wore big heavy coats with hoodies over their heads, keeping themselves warm. Some people were happy and content. Some people were shivering from the dry cold air.

Piles of white, thick snow covered the pavement, roofs of the buildings, fir trees and the landscape. Snow prints, tire tracks and snow angels were everywhere in the white snow. Several snowmen dotted all over the entire city with some of them based on pokémon. Some had little snowbabies and snowwomen, creating a snowmen family.

Despite being very cold, Snowbelle was a very beautiful city. Snow covered streets had a line of Christmas trees decorated with colorful lights and several hanging decorations. Almost every buildings have Christmas LED light displays.

Snowbelle’s main architecture were a blend of old and modern. Snowbelle was more of a Christmas themed village town than a city. There were tall buildings, but it was very uncommon. Snowbelle's main residental homes consists of half-timbered, brick facade, cottage and log cabin.

On their way to Snowbelle, Zack and his family decided to stay at one of the log cabin inns. It was their special family tradition that they would stay at Snowbelle on winter break. When winter break is over, Zack and his parents go back home in Santalune City.

On Christmas morning, the entire family sat on the couch. The living room had a basic brown cedar log cabin interior with dark brown wooden panel floors. The rustic themed furniture were made from logs with varying shades of brown. There was a large pile of Christmas presents placed under a brightly lit spruce tree.

Zack’s relatives weren't all that big, but they weren't small either. He had two uncles, two aunts, a grandma, a grandpa and three cousins. His mom's side of the family had caramel-blonde or dirty-blonde. His dad and his family had varying shades of brown hair.

A tall, eldery woman with short, gray-blonde bob looked at an orange gift bag on her lap. She seemed to be very similar to Zack as she was sitting in a black wheelchair. She had a big smile on her face, revealing her pearly white dentures.

She opened the bag, pulling out a glazed terra cotta tea set. It was made from mud and clay, painted in a brown-orange color with black floral trimmings. It was almost perfect, like it should be displayed at an art museum or a ceramic shop.

She pulled out more stuff from the orange bag. Her favorite pink faux magnolia flower wreath, handmade colorful patchwork potholder and some handmade oatmeal soap. She couldn’t help but grin at her gift.

“What do you think, grandma?” asked Zack as he noticed his handicapped grandparent.
“I love it. Thank you so much. You’re definitely getting better at handicrafts.” Grandma replied, smiling.

“Sometimes, it’s fun to make something out of hand.” Zack said, happy to see his handicapped grandma enjoying the gift.

“It sure is,” said Grandma, nodding in agreement. “It costs less money that way, unless you have to buy the materials you need.”

---

On the first few pages were photos of Route 4. Daffodils, goldenrods, roses, and bell flowers were the most common yellow flowers. Common reds were roses, carnations, peonies and begonias. Flabébé and Combee were attracted to them, like a swarm of nectar collecting honeybees.

The next page is Zack and Erik making it to the halfway point. Zack admired the Perle Fountain in the center square. He couldn’t help but grin at the Horseas squirting water from their mouths. It was so breathtaking.

Zack looked at the middle section of the page, staring at a particular photo. It was Zack and Erik welcoming Daphne in their group. Erik was smiling and Zack was holding Flabébé in his hands. The last photo on the page showed Daphne and Erik happily playing in the meadow.

For the past month, Zackary Fontaine thought he and his partner would be friends forever…

Their friendship wasn’t perfect. They had their disagreements and squabbles, but it happens every once in a while.

When he came back home in Santalune, Zack would show Erik his latest display of handmade flower pots, coffee mugs and vases in his house. He would spend the afternoon teaching new pokémon moves and learning about type advantages and weaknesses. Zack and Erik would watch TV in the living room and play whatever games they could think of. Playing fetch with a ball, stick or frisbee was a favorite of theirs. Good times.

Then his smile slowly faded away as he turned the next page of his photo album.

---

Zack’s parents sat on the loveseat together watching him opening a pokéball. Zack was quite nervous to see what he thought of his first pokémon. His mom and dad decided to get this new pokémon for him because his birthday was coming soon.

Zack didn’t want to let his family down just because he was disappointed. He's usually grateful for the things he didn’t ask for, and tries to make the best out of it. However, he had hoped that he and his new pokémon would at least be on good terms.

When the pokéball opened in a flash of light, Zack was suddenly face to face with a green canine with yellow lightning markings.

“I got an Electrike?!" Zack asked, shocked at the sudden reveal of his gift.

“Do you like it?” Dad asked nervously as he noticed Zack’s shocked expression.

“I like it,” Zack replied, looking at his first pokémon and his parents with a grateful smile. “I really don’t care what I get. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” said Mom, sighing in relief. “We’re just glad you’ve got a pokémon of your own.”

Electrike hopped into Zack’s lap and barked excitedly at his face.

“Hello, my name is Zackary Fontaine.” he said, politely introducing himself. “Do you want to be named or you’re fine with just Electrike?”

Electrike didn’t reply.

“I said, do you want to be named or not?” Zack repeated.

Once again, there was a long period of awkward silence. It seemed like it really doesn’t care if it gets named or not.

“How about I just give you a name? Is that okay?” Zack asked, coming up with a name. He wasn’t good when it came to names, but he wanted to give it a try.

“How about Yves?”

Electrike’s dull expression turned into a stone cold scowl.

“Oh, you don’t like it?” said Zack, sheepishly. “How about Raymond, but I call you Ray?”
Electrike’s face remained frozen, still not liking the name Zack had suggested.

“Emile?”

Zack began listing every name that just popped into his head. Fictional characters, his classmates and some people that he remembers. However, Electrike doesn’t like any of them. Zack’s family also tried to help him come up with the names, but nothing was working. It lasted about ten minutes and Zack was ready to give up at this point.

“How about Erik? Is that good enough for you?” he asked again, trying not to lose his patience.

Electrike briefly stared at Zack with his usual look before smiling. It took about a minute to respond and he eventually replied with a bark of approval.

Zack let out a sigh of relief, happy that he finally came up with a new name for his first pokémon.

---

Daphne let out a low sounding cry, touching the photo on her tiny hand. Her realization hits her like a truck, slamming hard into a bumper.

Daphne felt bad for letting her hatred fly over her head. How could she be so cruel?
She just celebrated Erik's absence without her trainer knowing. She was just as bad as Erik.

All the stuff in her imagination was completely exaggerated, making it look like Erik was an abuser and she was the victim. It never happened at all. It was just her blind anger taking over her real memories. The pictures from the photo album showed actual proof of what really happened.

Daphne and Erik got along fairly well. They weren’t close, but they were mostly good terms. Their friendship wasn’t perfect. They had their disagreements and squabbles.

Daphne looked through the photos of herself, her trainer and her former friend, reminiscing on that exact day when she, Zack and Erik went shopping in Lumiose City.

---

On January 24 2016, it was a lovely late afternoon. Celebrating Flabébé’s capture, Zack decided to do some shopping to get his second partner some supplies.

Lumiose’s Essential Shop was situated next to Lumiose City’s Pokémon Center. It was a large, white story building with fancy glass windows and a red pokéball sign on the top.

The interior of Lumiose's Essential PokéShop was similar to a department store. Escalators and elevators can go up to four levels. The entire shop had warm ivory walls and ceramic tile floors, illuminated by golden ceiling flush mounts. The shop was modern, but it had a vintage and elegant style to it, like other famous retailers in Kalos.

Toys, foods, beds, grooming supplies, accessories and even clothes were displayed on huge store shelves and kiosks. It was a shopping haven for pokémon and pokémon trainers alike.

“You know, I still don’t know why you want a dollhouse. It’s a human toy, made for humans to play with. I don’t think pokémon are allowed to play with human toys.” said Erik, shaking his head.

“I think dollhouses are exquisite. I love the white frilly lace on the roof. So many flowers growing inside the box, hearts hung onto the door, more flowers on the window, and those cute fairy lights on the walls.” said Daphne.

“It’s nice, but it’s just a dollhouse. Don’t you want a chew toy? Plushie? A rubber ball?” said Erik.

“They’re too big for me. These toys you listed are something that you want.” said Daphne, frowning.

“They have these toys at your size. Did you pay attention?” said Erik.

“Of course I did. They’re just not my cup of tea.” said Daphne, wandering off to one of the aisles.

Erik glared at Daphne, muttering out a few words. “What an ungrateful bitch..."

Daphne loved shopping stores for their fancy interiors and fantastic items. The items Erik and Zack scanned over were too basic and didn't suit her fancy. She just wanted a dollhouse.

Daphne’s eyes were now glued to a pink canopy tent-like bed. She admired the frilly lace curtains with ribbons tied to it. It was obviously too big for her, as she can easily fit inside. She admired how soft and fluffy it was. She can use the canopy bed as her own personal living space. It’ may not be a dollhouse, but it's perfect.

"Daphne,” said Erik, barking in an angry tone. “What the hell are you doing, wandering off like that?!"

The little Flabébé was so absorbed into the bed that she didn’t notice or hear Erik approaching her.

“Hello?! I'm talking to you, why aren’t you answering me?!” he repeated. He could hear his trainer scolding him from a feet away.

Still no answer. It was like Daphne's surroundings were completely invisible or nonexistent except for the bed.

“Daphne!” Erik repeated once more.

Daphne continued to play with the bed, still unaware of the angry Electrike’s presence.

She didn’t even bother to turn around to see what was going on around her.

“We’re right here! Turn around or you’re going to be my newest chew toy!”

Daphne finally turned her head around and got out of the canopy bed. She noticed Erik glared directly at her. He let out a low growl, demanding Daphne to speak.

“Uhh...well...It’s because...I really like this bed so much.” Daphne said, struggling to speak.

She was a little afraid by Electrike’s angry barking. “I...just wanted this bed to turn into my own personal bedroom.”

“Zack already made you a bed, so what’s the point in getting another one?" Erik scoffed in response.

“I love Zack’s bed, but I like this bed too,” said Daphne, pointing to the pink canopy bed. “I can use my old bed to put inside my new bedroom. If we buy some little dressers, drawers and tea tables, that would definitely be trés chic.”

“My god! Are you really that ungrateful?!” Erik snapped at her. “I don’t care if you like this bed and neither does Zack! You have a bed of your own, Daphne! Buy something you truly need.”

“You act like I don’t like Zack’s bed.” Daphne said.

“Do you like Zack’s bed he made for you?” Erik asked, suspiciously.

“Yes I do.” Daphne replied, getting a little exasperated.

“Good,” Erik said smirking, before he got sucked into his pokéball by Zack.

Daphne let out a sad sigh before following Zack behind.

After an hour of shopping, Zack and Daphne began exploring through the streets of Lumiose City. Erik was finally released from his pokéball, allowing him to walk with the group.

All of the stuff Zack brought was toys inside the bag. He didn’t get anything much, but he didn’t care. It was what Daphne and Erik wanted since they wanted a small amount of things. He had plenty of potions, pokeballs, repels and other trainer essentials in his bag. He didn’t need to buy any more stuff.

Erik was still glaring at Daphne for being distracted at storefront window displays. Daphne had grown to love window shopping and couldn’t help but gush about how beautiful the displays looked. There were clothes, accessories, hats, shoes, jewelry and so much more. Even though they were human clothing, Daphne couldn’t help being fascinated by all the stores surrounding her.

“Really,” he said, glowering at his tiny friend. “You’re still looking at some junk only humans could use. It’s a waste of time.”

“I’m sorry you think this way, but I think they're quite exquisite,” Daphne said, her eyes brimming with joy. Her French accent became more noticable. “I love the flowing white dress with a matching giant hat. It’s one of my favorites. It’s fantastique! Marvelous! Divine and even magnifique. I hope Zack makes me a pretty dress, once I evolve into a beautiful Florges.”

Erik forced a smile, trying not to cringe at Daphne’s accent.

---

Daphne let out a sigh in exasperation. She is aware that Erik is a good person, but he can be harsh, difficult and demanding sometimes.

Despite being friends, Daphne and Erik don’t have that much in common. They would go into small or big arguments a bit often.

Daphne recalled one time when she got into a huge fight with Erik and they never spoke to each other for a whole week. Poor Zack had them get his two pokémon to make up. It was dreadful. She even remembered another fight she and Erik had a few days later.

Daphne had to admit that celebrating his absence was completely uncalled for. Daphne was truly angry and hurt that he left Zack without saying goodbye. Daphne was mostly a good person—or pokémon in this case. This was completely out of character for her. Daphne wanted to smack herself with Fairy Wind.

Daphne begins to wonder…

Is that why Erik left? All because of her?

She did remember those words that Erik said to her before he left.

This is all your fault Daphne! Tell Zack I'm leaving! I just can't stand you to be with you anymore! Hopefully, Zack will understand.

Yup. This is really her fault. all along. Daphne felt a pang of guilt filling up her body. She wanted to cry for all the 'horrible things' she has done. In her own mind, Daphne was the true villian all along and Erik was the hero.

Once Zack gets a new partner, Daphne hoped that history won’t repeat itself.

When Erik decides to come back, Daphne hopes she will try to get Erik to reconnect with her and be a better friend.

“Let’s head on to Camphrier Town,” said Zack, snapping out of Flabébé’s reverie. He closed the photo album and shoved it in his bag. “We’re planning to stay at an free country inn, since Hotel Camphrier is way too expensive. I prefer nice-looking cheap hotels and inns over highly expensive fancy hotels.”

Daphne gets inside of Zack’s caramel blonde hair, using herself and her yellow flower as a hair accessory. It was a unique way to carry a small pokémon like her.

With that, Zack gripped on the push rim and made his way through to the exit.

---

Zack and Daphne made it to Route 5. It was a fairly long route that runs up a hill between Lumiose and Camphrier.

Roller skaters and skateboarders would practice their tricks on the small roller rink or grinding down the rails.

A wild Scraggy, Pancham and Minun would imitate one of the skaters' mannerisms. One of them wore backward caps and leaned on the railing. Zack couldn't help but laugh at the scene. He didn't have time to watch because he wanted to get to Camphrier Town.

Zack carefully rode down the hill, running into some patches of grass. He didn’t notice some pokémon trainers staring at his hair accessory and kept going. He encountered some wild pokémon, but he managed to get away from them. He wasn't in the mood for capturing or battling them. He just wanted to get to Camphrier and get it over with. Thankfully, it took about twenty minutes to get to Camphrier.

Camphrier Town is known to be very old. Like centuries old. The Pokémon Center was one of the few modern buildings in this town.

The whole town is surrounded by medieval stone walls. Fancy, vintage gas lamps lined through the cobblestone streets. Rickshaws, carriages and wagons miraculously still exist in the modern world, fitting the theme of this town.

There were some people riding on Gogoats, Mamoswines and Rhyhorns. Some people were driving in a mix of old timey and modern cars.

Since there were no traffic lights, people had to be one to lead drivers every time they needed to move or to stop. It was a way to fit the medieval theme of this town, since traffic lights weren’t invented in the middle ages.

Camphrier had very old medieval themed architecture like Pre-romanesque, Romanesque and Gothic. They had one of the most famous landmarks like churches, museums, clock towers, elaborate stained glass windows and bell towers.

Despite being a small historic town, there are some modern conveniences. They even have old technology such as CTR televisions, old fashioned computers, typewriters, payphones and fax machines.

Camphrier made Zack feel a little calm. He wanted to stay at Camphrier Town for a few weeks just to find a place to get rid of his stress. He heard that they have some amazing craft workshops and very unique art galleries.

Just as Zack was riding down the street, he heard a soft sound—almost like a cough or sneeze. He looked around the streets, calling out, "Hello?"

When nobody responded, he turned and continued pushing…

...until he heard it again. He sighed and searched through the streets to find the source. As he made his way into a small medieval alleyway, he saw a white candle peering from one of the buildings. It’s yellow gold eyes gleamed with delight as it looked up at him.

“I think I’ve seen this pokémon before, but I forgot what it’s name was.” Zack replied, scratching his chin.

He pulled out his pokédex out of his bag and pointed directly at the candle.

Litwick, The Candle Pokémon. While shining a light and pretending to be a guide, it leeches off the life force of any who follows it. There’s a female sign appearing in the corner of the pokédex.

He knew Litwick is not that common in Kalos since they’re usually found in an abandoned hotel in between Route 15 and Route 16. Zack had recalled several wild pokémon that tend to wander off in unexpected places. He didn’t know it would be Litwick.

Then he reads a bunch of information about Litwick. According to the pokédex, Litwick has Flame Body as her main ability and has Ember as the only Fire Type move for now. It is said that Litwick is Hasty as she acts too quickly and blindly aggressive. What makes it even worse is Litwick’s characteristic is a little quick tempered.

“Oh my god,” Zack said, his emerald green eyes widened in fear and realization. “Maybe I should just leave right now.”

Just as Zack was about to leave, Litwick quickly leaped onto his lap. Zack was lucky not to be burnt into a human charred barbeque if Litwick wasn't careful. He was also lucky Litwick wasn’t too hot to touch either.

Litwick looked up at Zack with her innocent, sweet smile spread across her face. It seems Litwick takes a liking to Zack and his wheelchair. To her, it was fascinating, like a fancy new toy or a new discovery. She had rarely seen humans in wheelchairs. She doesn’t even know what a wheelchair is.

“Aww, you like my wheelchair?” Zack couldn't help but coo at the sight. He quickly shook his head, realizing what he was saying. “You need to be careful, though. You would’ve burnt me alive.”

Litwick nodded in understanding, touching Zack’s wheelchair.

Zack wasn’t sure what to think of Litwick. He always told stories but something inside him told him that every pokémon is different no matter what the pokédex says. Besides, once pokémon becomes tame and friendly towards their trainers or other strangers, the pokédex stops being true.

Zack looked down at Litwick, standing mere centimeters close to him. Way too close. Is she really trying to burn him? Zack quickly removed Litwick off of his lap and carefully put her to the ground. He pushed the push rim backwards, backing away.

When he finally gets to a safe distance, Litwick manages to keep up and gets into his lap again. When he tries to get her off of his lap, Litwick’s eyes begin to glow.

Zack was forced to stare at the neverending, cold abyss in Litwick’s glowing gold eyes. Just seeing Litwick standing so close to him makes him very uncomfortable.

Litwick’s tone of voice sounded friendly, but had a hint of malice as if she was threatening him. If that wasn’t a sign of Litwick’s potential psychopathic behavior, Zack wasn’t sure what was. Zack noticed a sign that Litwick would do something horrible to him if he dared to piss her off. Zack tried not to wince and took up the courage to talk.

“Do you want some marshmallows?” Zack asked, as he pulled out a small bag of marshmallows from his bag. He looked down and saw Litwick’s sudden change of mood.

Litwick’s angry glowing eyes were switched with cute, sparkling eyes. Litwick stretched her arms, begging for the marshmallows.

Zack dumps some marshmallows on the ground for Litwick to eat. Litwick hops off Zack’s lap and carefully eats the marshmallows one by one. She tried roasting it with her flame and eating it with no problem.

Zack attempted to keep on a brave demeanor, returning a smile of his own. He’s still not sure if Litwick is a good replacement partner for Erik or not. He just met her and he wanted to get to know her first before capturing it.

“Hey Litwick,” said Zack. “Daphne, my Flabébé is feeling lonely and wants someone to play with. Is it okay if she plays with you?”

To his surprise, a happy smile came across Litwick’s face. She jumped up and down excited to have a playmate. Daphne gets out Zack’s caramel-blonde hair and floats down to Litwick’s level.

Litwick was very loud, so loud that it almost hurt Daphne’s ears. Her tone of voice was high-pitched and sounded like a five year old girl.

Daphne was able to respond back with her soft, demure feminine voice. She sounded very polite and mature, but isn’t a fully grown adult yet.

This wasn’t too bad at first. Daphne and Litwick seemed to be getting along. Litwick offered a roasted marshmallow, which Daphne politely refused.

Zack’s thoughts became swirling around. In his own mind, he believed that Litwick was trying to trick Daphne into being her best friend so she could suck her soul.

In his other mind, he believes that Litwick is a truly innocent young pokémon who may or may not have potential anger problems. He doesn’t know anymore and wished Erik was still around. Erik can be a jerk, but at least Erik doesn’t flat out murder people by sucking someone’s souls.

After giving a lot of thought, Zack decided to give Litwick a chance. He wasn’t going to keep Litwick permanently, just until he goes to the next town.

What if Litwick tries to suck someone’s soul during his stay?

What if he can’t discipline Litwick at all?

What if history repeat itself?

If it happens, he can just ditch Litwick and go for the next pokémon to befriend. Hopefully, a lot friendlier and easier to get along with this time.

What is he saying? It’s not easy to befriend pokémon at all. Pokémon can be mean and cruel sometimes. He doesn’t have the heart to ditch Litwick. Zack can’t keep up with his own thoughts jumbling around him. Zack had no choice but to make his final decision. He wants to keep Litwick for a while until he gets some results.

“Hey Litwick!” Zack blurted out very quickly.

Litwick took a side glance, frowning at Zack. It seemed like she hated being interrupted.

“Do you want to come with us?”

Litwick’s angry expression miraculously disappeared. Her expression changed into a happy one, excitedly jumping up and down. Zack took it as a yes.

With happy smiles, Zack, Daphne and Litwick begin their trek through the streets. Unlike Lumiose City, it wasn’t too noisy or nearly bustling. No blaring police cars, no traffic, loud car honking noises and no road rage. It was more quiet and pleasant for the most part.

Zack was amazed at all the sights around him. Some of the citizens would greet him in a friendly manner. Victorian style and other old-fashioned storefronts were selling a bunch of antiques, jewelry and accessories. Several wild pokémon walked, flew, or floated alongside humans.

When Zack stopped for a minute, he saw Daphne staring at a large building. Curious, he and Litwick went after the Fairy Type Pokémon. They found Daphne admiring a large, white cathedral building. From the looks of it, the cathedral had curved red and pink rose stained glass from arched windows. The cathedral was built from medieval stone and has a rose symbol on the top.

Zack noticed a middle aged couple walking towards the cathedral. Two of them wore golden wedding rings on their fingers.

The woman wore a flowing golden brown dress with matching shrug jacket and heels. She had long, curly chestnut brown hair, medium light skin and blue eyes.

The man had a slight tan complexion and had wavy, chocolate brown hair reaching down his neck. He wore a formal brown suit with a red necktie and black loafers.

The married couple glanced down at Litwick who was approaching them. They backed away in fear, but Litwick came closer and closer.

“Litwick, leave them alone,” said Zack. “It’s rude to get close to people like that. It’s bad enough you did the same thing to me earlier.”

“Is this your pokémon?” asked a chestnut haired woman, pointing to Litwick.

“Yes,” Zack replied, nodding. Litwick wasn’t his, but it would be eventually, if things turned out well between them. “This is my pokémon. Not to be rude, but who are you?”

“My name is Charleen Davenport and this is my husband Darrel Davenport.” said Charleen.

“You see, young man. We don’t like Ghost, Dark, Psychic or Poison Type Pokémon.” Darrel explained, laughing as if Zack was a crazy person.

“Why?” asked Zack, confused.

"They're associated with the devil. Aren’t you aware that Litwick is a soul sucking demon from Hell? It’s obviously one of the pokémon partners of the devil.” Darrel scoffed.

“The pokédex didn’t say about demons and hell.” said Zack.

“What we’re trying to say is that you're carrying a literal demon and it's bad omen." said Charleen, her voice wracked with concern.

"Litwick isn’t a good pokémon for children your age. Not even for teenagers or adults. You should get rid of it before bad things happen to you.” said Darrel.

Charleen nodded in agreement. “They’re nothing but trouble. They have no redeeming qualities and that's the truth."

“Any type of pokémon can be mean and evil. It’s not right to general-”

“Shut your mouth brat,” said Charleen, swatting him on the lips. “You do not talk to a woman like me. It’s very rude.”

“Exactly, learn your manners.” said Darrel, agreeing with his wife.

“We should teach this boy a lesson not to carry little demons, mon cherié?” Charleen asked, grinning from ear to ear.

“You mean a double battle?” Darrel asked, seemingly to be really excited at this idea.

“But I don't want a pokémon battle!” Zack snapped.

“Alright! Let’s have a battle! Mabelle, come on out!” Charleen shouted, releasing a blue rabbit with a tail like a ball. She clearly didn’t have listening ears on.

“Aloysius, you too!” Darrel shouted, releasing a brown, large bear with a yellow target on its stomach.

“I’m not in the mood for this…” Zack muttered to himself.

“Mabelle! Spray that wretched thing with Scald!” Charleen said, ordering her Azumarill.

Scald? That must be a TM Move. Zack thought. Before he had a chance to look up at his pokédex to look up some movepools for Litwick, he saw Mabelle spraying hot water in Litwick’s face.

Zack's face contorted with rage. If they want a pokémon battle, he’ll give them one. He quickly looked at his pokédex and quickly scanned at Litwick’s movepools. He didn’t need to look up Daphne’s since he already knew her movepool a few times.

“Daphne, use Razor Leaf on Mabelle! And you Litwick, use Smog on Aloysius!”
Daphne and Litwick nodded, using their retrospective moves.

Litwick breathed out a purplish-black cloud of smoke in Mabelle’s face, blocking her vision. Mabelle began coughing uncontrollably and her eyes began to water. It was like she was smoking charcoal.

“What have you been eating? Death?” Darrel asked, waving some smoke off with his hand. He also covered his nose with his other hand. “It doesn’t matter anyway. Don’t let the smoke bother you and give the Flabébé some slashing!”

The Ursaring grunted in understanding before slashing Daphne with his sharp claws. Daphne couldn’t handle being slashed repeatedly. She had to put her yellow flower to protect herself like a shield. Unfortunately, her flower ended up getting slashed with Aloysius’ sharp claws. Thankfully, it wasn't a real flower or it would've been easily ripped to shreds.

Darrel smirked while Zack bit his lip, realizing that Razor Leaf isn’t going to do much for his Flabébé. He had to come up with a plan and fast.

"Litwick! Use Ember!"

While Mabelle was still coughing from the smoke, she looked up at Litwick in absolute terror. Litwick’s eyes begin to glow pure white. She looks up at the Azumarill and unleashes a big fire from her candle flame unleashes fireballs from her flame. Mabelle runs around in the alley to avoid being pelted by fireballs.

Litwick was enraged that Mabelle was able to avoid her fireballs. Her flame grew bigger and her anger was ready to boil like a steaming pot of chili. She tried to shoot more fireballs.

This time Zack gave out an satisfed smirk while Charleen barred her teeth.

“How about you can use Scald, but this time aim for the flame? I’m sure this one will work.” said Charleen, lowering her voice so Zack can’t hear her.

Mabelle gave her a nod before hitting Litwick into a wall with her ball-like tail. Litwick was hurt by the impact, but managed to get up.

“Scald, but this time, aim for the flames!” Charleen shouted, barking orders.

Those exact words made Mabelle grin. Not just a normal grin. A ugly and sadistic grin. She began spraying a large amount of water at Litwick’s flame. Litwick was soaking wet, unable to use her Fire Type move. Not only that, she was starting to become weak from the damage.

“Litwick! Dodge it!” Zack yelled in despair. He was obviously going to lose.

“One more time, Mabelle!”

“Keep going, Aloysius!”

Zack begins to breathe heavily like he was going to freak out at any second. His only two unevolved female pokémon are getting defeated by two fully evolved pokémon. He didn’t want a pokémon battle and he came off as unprepared.

Marbelle blasted Litwick with hot water and Aloysius finishes Daphne with one final scratch on her face.

With that, Daphne and Litwick finally fainted. The mean couple and their pokémon cheered with victory. Zack put his hand on his forehead, shaking his head in disappointment.

“Too bad your Flabébé was the only good pokémon you have. I almost felt sorry for her.” said Darrel, shrugging.

“Yeah, Flabébé is a angel, unlike Litwick,” Charleen sneered. “That evil candle is going to suck our souls. Now you can catch a nice pokémon like a Pikachu or a Scatterbug. Ghost Type Pokémon are really disgusting creatures. They always come to harm children and they always will. You obviously never do your research at all. God doesn't like them and we don't like them either."

I hope Litwick really sucks both of your souls…Zack thought darkly as he watched the couple leave with evil satisfied smiles. He didn't mean it, but hopefully, it will be the last he ever sees them again.

Zack let out a sigh, looking down at his two injured pokémon. Daphne seemed to be still unconscious, lying on the ground.

As for Litwick, she started to shiver. It wasn’t cold outside, but being doused by water type moves made her feel cold. Without her flame, Litwick was rendered cold, weak and slowly ill.

“You tried your best, Daphne. Have a good rest.” said Zack, putting his Flabébé back into her pokéball.

Zack knew that Fire Type Pokémon with flames don’t actually die from getting hit by Water Type attacks. They can have their flames reignited by taking them to dry places, Nurse Joy, a Fire Type move from another pokémon or fire substances. He remembered watching on live TV where Charmander’s flame goes out and actually passes out. He heard that they can die if the flame goes out for too long. Rapidash and possibly Litwick does the same thing.

Zack uses his claw reacher tool to grab Litwick and placed her on his lap before heading onto the streets. This time, he felt a little cold.

“I’m sorry you don’t have a pokéball, Litwick. I’m not sure if you want to be captured.”

Litwick weakly pointed at the flower decorated pokéball Zack was holding.

“Oh, you so want to be captured?” Zack asked, raising an eyebrow.

Litwick couldn’t nod much, due to her weak state. She tried pointing at Daphne’s pokéball and pointed at herself. Zack understands that Litwick truly wanted to be captured. He doesn’t know what to do.

“Are you sure that’s what you want?” asked Zack, unsure about the idea.

Litwick gave a happy weak cry, before passing out.

Zack quickly dug through his bag and pulled out a pokéball.

“Welcome to the team, Litwick.” said Zack, sucking the unconscious candle into the pokéball. The pokéball wobbles lasted for about a few seconds. A button flashes a red bright light and then slowly disappears.

Zack couldn’t believe it. He caught Litwick, thanks to her request. It didn't take long to come up with a nickname for Litwick. Zack wrote down the name “Camille” in black letters. Zack was still not good with names, but he didn't care. He peeled off a flaming sticker from a sticker sheet and put it on top of the pokéball.

“I just hope I make the right choice.” said Zack, letting out a heavy sigh.

---

Camphirer’s Pokémon Center had the same look as every other Pokémon Center in Kalos. Pokémon retail stores in Camphrier were all old-fashioned storefronts and markets. All of them were right close to the Pokémon Center, similar to how PokéMarts were usually close to the Pokémon Centers in Kanto.

When Zack entered inside, the sliding doors would automatically close behind him.
The inside of the Pokémon Center was quite huge and it looked very modern like most Pokémon Centers.

White walls and flush mounted ceiling lights made this room really bright. There were two rooms connecting at the back of the center. The room on the right was a PokéMart with two salesmen clerks dressed in blue aprons. The PokéMart was similar to a pharmacy store as trainers would go to the counter and tell the salesman for their desired item. One of the salesmen would go to the back of the counter and return with their desired item.

The only difference is that trainers can go to the PokéMart anytime and don’t have to call for an appointment to get their medicine. Trainers still have to pay at least ten, fifteen or sometimes twenty dollars for their supplies. Trainers can sometimes trade rare items for money, like rare mushrooms and star pieces.

The room on the left was a changing room where trainers could change their clothes or change their eye color contacts.

There is also a big screen TV in the center and with several chairs for sitting in and a large coffee table. Not only did this building contain a counter complete with PC and Transfer Systems, there were five doors lined on the left side of the PokéMart. Bathroom, cafeteria/kitchen, playroom and a mysterious room.

Zack moved towards the counter and handed out two pokéballs to Nurse Joy. Nurse Joy gave him a nod before healing Camille and Daphne.

While Zack waited, he decided to check out the playroom. The doors slid open automatically as he entered inside.

The playroom was modern just like the Pokémon Center. The room was mostly white with a mix of warm beige. Playhouses and tents resembled castles. Toys, video games, board games, art supplies and books displayed on the bins or shelves. There was an art room where they had plently of chairs and tables to read or start drawing.

Zack could see several pokémon trainers playing tag with their pokémon.

A female Preschool Trainer and her Pichu were coloring the pages of a coloring book.

A Youngster Trainer and his Bunnelby were swimming in a ball pit.

Some adult trainers were watching their pokémon play with toys. Some pokémon were watching their trainers play video games on the console hooked to the TV. Some were watching videos on the internet from their trainer’s phones or other devices.

Not only was it a playroom, it was also a hangout for all pokémon trainers. It was like one of those rooms at the community center where trainers of all ages come together.

Zack moved his wheelchair to an empty table and pulled out his artwork from his bag. He began painting a small handmade glazed tea set for Daphne. It was incredibly hard to decorate with its small size, but he managed to get it right with smaller paintbrushes. The tiny tea set was painted white with yellow flowers and trimmings. It took him about an hour, but he loved doing pottery, painting and DIY crafts.

Not only was it a hobby, it was his passion.

His passion to be an artisan.

Zack had been taking art classes for a few years. He is still not a professional, but his skils has gotten better over time. He considered his glazed tea set to be his best work.

One day when he becomes an adult, Zack could open up his own store, selling his own unique handmade goods.

Zack left his small glazed tea set to dry and cleaned up his desk. He left the playroom and went back to the lobby.

“Your pokémon are healed.” Nurse Joy announced as she handed Zack his two pokéballs.

“Thank you so much.” Zack said, smiling.

“You’re welcome.” Nurse Joy replied back, returning a smile of her own. "Come back anytime."

Zack went back to the playroom and released his two pokémon out of their pokéballs.

“Is it okay if I call you Camille?” said Zack, eyeing down at Litwick to her level. He should've asked first before writing it down on his pokéball.

Litwick was able to nod again in response, liking her new name.

“I would’ve made something for you, but I don’t know what you like. We just met two hours ago.”

Litwick shrugged or at least tried to, since she doesn’t have any shoulders.

“We can go shopping a little later today. We need a fireproof blanket so you can sit on my lap anytime. The shops aren’t that far away from here so it’s going to take less than fifteen minutes. After that we can stop by at one of Camphrier's rural inns."

Camille looked up at Zack, smiling. She began clinging onto Zack’s handrails. Daphne just leaned him on the left shoulder. Zack couldn't help but smile at the heartwarming embrace.

Having Camille on his team turned out not to be so bad after all. No pokémon should not be judged by its Pokédex entries. Some were just urban legends and not all pokémon species are the same. He already heard this many times, every Pokémon is different with personalities, quirks, interests and a whole lot of things. Zack was getting sick of people hating them because of it.

Zack spent about an hour in the Pokémon Center Playroom, playing board games, reading books, drawing pictures, playing with toys and other fun activties with his pokémon. Some of the pokémon trainers and their pokémon joined him on the fun.

Erik may not come back, but Zack was lucky to have Camille and Daphne. He still misses Erik, but he’s slowly starting to move on. Zack is now ready to have another pokémon partner, but he has to wait for a while.

Zack wouldn't trade Camille and Daphne for the world.

Spoiler: Spoiler: Note

Lumiose's Essential Shop is a fancy schmancy pokémon version of real life Petco and Petsmart, which they're the biggest pet retail stores.

In my headcannon, the Pokémon Center is a pokémon verison of Walgreens and PokéMart is a convenience store/pharmacy store with a mix of pet retail store.

 

[silurica]

Henlo, henlo. I saw the title and summary of your story and thought, hella, story about artists, I need to check this out at some point. So here I am now!

Kalos fic, eh? That's neat, not a region that I've often seen in fanfictions. It's also nice to have a protagonist with disability. I've never read pokemon fic with a protagonist in a wheelchair before, so I'm interested in seeing how this will play out as a part of Zack's character and the world around him.

I liked seeing Zack simply wandering around Lumiose and then suddenly memories and emotions struck, oh no. It's relatable. It didn't help that it was a recent happening, so everything still felt raw and close.

Spoiler: Grammar and stuff

There was Professor Sycamore’s Lab, Pokémon Center, PR Video Studio, Coiffure Clips and Pokémon Research Center. South Boulevard had plenty of school buildings, medical facilities and offices. South Boulevard also has its own clothing shops, food stores and household goods.

Townhouses were old and beige with a dormer window on a blue roof. They had large or small balconies situated on the third floor. Some had them on the top windows.

This sounds like they belong in the same paragraph since they're both still describing the area. There's also a missing "The" before townhouses.

Zackary had a disability for as long as he can remember. He cannot walk and has to be in a wheelchair to get around. At night, he would place his wheelchair next to his bed and tuck himself under the covers. When it’s morning, he would get himself out of bed, changing out of his pajamas and into his clothes. It's diffcult, but that was a part of his daily and evening routine.

The first line here feels kind of redundant. You can reword the paragraph opener into something like "Zackary couldn't walk and had always relied on a wheelchair to get around for as long as he can remember" and it would convey the same information without the need to spell it out. (My gut feeling says cut off "couldn't walk" too, but I think it's something that would be good to get second opinions on how clear it is.)

Also this paragraph perhaps could be paired with "Zack began rolling down South Boulevard, taking in all the sights around him." from a previous paragraph, keeping the topic on his disability, before then describing the sight he sees. Alternatively, depending on how important it is to make it clear from the start, there is the option of removing this exposition paragraph entirely and sprinkle the information around the story, like you did when you mentioned he wheeled down the South Boulevard.

Something small: why is it 'Zackary' here but nowhere else in the first chapter? I get it if this was the first paragraph when his name was mentioned or if if the context called for full name over diminutive, but this seems to be neither.

Zack’s eyes started to water up again, upset from what had become of his former pokémon partner. He got so lost in his own thoughts and memories that he didn’t know his tears were dripping on his face and his jacket.

"upset from what had become of his former pokémon partner" can be removed without losing anything, since from the context of the memory and the next line it's already clear why he's upset. In general, you seem to have a habit of showing then telling when only one would've been sufficient. You have nice descriptions, but the telling part dampened the momentum of it.

He began to wonder if his remaining pokémon wanted to do with him after last week.

I'm not sure if I understand this sentence correctly. Do you mean "what" in place of "if", and "thought of" in place of "wanted to do with"?

His anger boiled inside of a volcano, ready to erupt in all of glory.

You want to use "like" instead of "of" here. Also glory isn't something that I'd associate with anger, personally.

Onto the second chapter, it's nice to see there are more things to read. The nicknaming scene was cute -- I'm used to nicknaming being a thing that just happens, so seeing Zack going through a list of names until something stuck was fun. Daphne and Erik's dynamic is interesting and I hope they get the chance to talk again. Also, Litwick is very very cute, but I can see why Zack felt apprehensive about keeping one at first.

I don't have line-to-line grammar comments for the second chapter due to time reasons, but if you're still interested I can try to see if I have time to spare for writing more later.

Sadly there wasn't much art in either the first or second chapter. I think I would've preferred if these early chapters had touched on the artistry and portfolio building more -- let the reader have a taste of how the premise is delivered, you know. Right now the story feels like a simple journeyfic, which isn't a bad thing in itself, but I did come into this story following the promise of art...

 

[creativelover93]

Kalos fic, eh? That's neat, not a region that I've often seen in fanfictions. It's also nice to have a protagonist with disability. I've never read pokemon fic with a protagonist in a wheelchair before, so I'm interested in seeing how this will play out as a part of Zack's character and the world around him.

Thanks. I seen a few fanart of disabled protagonists in a wheelchair before.

There was Professor Sycamore’s Lab, Pokémon Center, PR Video Studio, Coiffure Clips and Pokémon Research Center. South Boulevard had plenty of school buildings, medical facilities and offices. South Boulevard also has its own clothing shops, food stores and household goods.

Townhouses were old and beige with a dormer window on a blue roof. They had large or small balconies situated on the third floor. Some had them on the top windows.

This sounds like they belong in the same paragraph since they're both still describing the area. There's also a missing "The" before townhouses.

I thought the paragraph lasted too long so my mistake.

Onto the second chapter, it's nice to see there are more things to read. The nicknaming scene was cute -- I'm used to nicknaming being a thing that just happens, so seeing Zack going through a list of names until something stuck was fun. Daphne and Erik's dynamic is interesting and I hope they get the chance to talk again. Also, Litwick is very very cute, but I can see why Zack felt apprehensive about keeping one at first.

Nicknaming your pokemon is very hard so I've decided to add that in the story. It's one of those little things that people rarely touched upon when it comes to pokemon fics. I was originally going to make Erik mean and cruel at one point, but I decided to make him a morally grey character.

Sadly there wasn't much art in either the first or second chapter. I think I would've preferred if these early chapters had touched on the artistry and portfolio building more -- let the reader have a taste of how the premise is delivered, you know. Right now the story feels like a simple journeyfic, which isn't a bad thing in itself, but I did come into this story following the promise of art...

Sorry about that. I was too busy focusing on Zack's struggle first. On the next chapter will focus more on art this time, once I introduce two new characters.

So yeah, I agree with you on this and the grammar thing.

I liked seeing Zack simply wandering around Lumiose and then suddenly memories and emotions struck, oh no. It's relatable. It didn't help that it was a recent happening, so everything still felt raw and close.

I should've mentioned a bit more further and have to do some serious editing on that part. Zack had Erik on Christmas, but he left somehow in middle or late January. The current setting is Feburary. It was my mistake on that end.

Thanks for the criticism!

 

[System Error]

Now's a good as time as any for the next chapter.
- tfw your birthday and christmas are too close together so you get less presents
- Man second Kalos fic I read using smelly Fahrenheit. I looked it up and no France doesn't use it
- Christmas every day, but the bad news is you cannot escape Mariah Carrie
- Fontaine. I would make a joke about this, but I dunno what kind of one to make
- That feel when the name boss is even more impossible
- Whoa sudden Poke perspective
- Well this Electrike is a dick
- Erik is a good person? I've heard of animals thinking they're people but that's a bit much. (It's a typo)
- This Electrike is also an idiot expecting Pokemon to just snap the language barrier at will
- Old technology, heh. Also, save the CRTs, don't throw them out windows.
- It rarely occurs that some Pokemon are only found in one odd humanish habitat
- Getting spooked by nature and characteristic heh. Also shoutouts to characteristics
- So imperial is used for temperature but metric for distance??
- Possible rightful paranoia here
- Just what he needed to run into. Superstitious not-catholics
- And worse yet, they're in game trainers fighting at the drop of a hat
- Dunking on the anime a bit is always good
- Well one good thing came from that, they weakened it for him
- Camille? Well that is a girl's name...
- And hey some things getting better

Little by little progress here. Although Zack has suffered a painful loss of one of his Pokemon running off, things still look up for him. Keep it up and hope to see more!