Baby's Named A Bad, Bad Thing

[Drakon]

Ever heard of this site: Baby's Named a Bad, Bad Thing

It's where a woman riffs on people who give shittacular names to their offspring.

So share your stories and sightings of baby names gone horribly, horribly wrong.

----------------

I will start:

Is my commentary.

There is an Olympic level equestrian named Rebel Morrow. Note I said equestrian, Rebel is not her horse's name. I wonder if her parents wanted a horse instead.

Missing girl Found. The girl's name is Makybe, after a three time Melbourne Cup winning racehorse Makybe Diva. Her father is a former jockey. I wonder if she'll live up to her namesake by becoming a track and field star? Bets on what her siblings will be called? Phar Lap? Seabiscuit? Dan Patch? Secretariat? Giacomo?

Horrible Sibling Sets: Lennon Beatle, Zuzu, Gypsy Blue. The sad part is that I first learned about them from my school directory. People, the correct order is name the baby THEN get high, not the other way around. Not to mention Gypsy Blue sounds like a racehorse's name. Did I mention Gypsy Blue is a runner? *Facepalm*

Lawyer named Tennessee Wilson Walker At least he's not an equestrian. Can you imagine the teasing he'd get for having the name of a breed of horse? Bet that he's got a sibling named Morgan?

Kid named Applejack D. Williams died imitating pro wrestling. I will assume that he's named after the alcoholic liquor and NOT the MLP: FiM character. Either way, "Applejack" is a shitty name.

 

[Fennel]

My sister knows a girl named "Asch'lye" (pronounced Ashley). Sounds like a character from a bad fanfic.

EDIT: Now that I think about it, she could have been messing with me...

 

[Spidey7]

I know a girl named Shaelynn.

what

 

[Cap'n Jack]

I believe it was Tom Cruise who named his son Kal-El, after Clark Kent/Superman's real name from back on Krypton.

And there are the immortal Moon Unit and Dweezil Zappa, daughter and son (respectivlely) of hard rocker Frank Zappa.

 

[Itsuki]

All I really know personally is I knew someone back in high school with the last name Dumbas. Pronounced 'doo-MAHS' but nobody ever pronounced it that way.

 

[Kakuna Matata]

I believe it was Tom Cruise who named his son Kal-El, after Clark Kent/Superman's real name from back on Krypton.

That was Nicholas Cage. His poor son...

 

[Cap'n Jack]

All I really know personally is I knew someone back in high school with the last name Dumbas. Pronounced 'doo-MAHS' but nobody ever pronounced it that way.

I imagine the jerks at school (so basically 80% of the kids) pronounced it a certain other way?

 

[Itsuki]

I imagine the jerks at school (so basically 80% of the kids) pronounced it a certain other way?

Yep. He was pretty smart too, so I just kinda facepalmed every time.

 

[Aori]

This girl at my college keeps saying that if she has a baby girl, her name will be Indian. If it's a boy (which she hopes for), she'll name him Indalecious.

I'm not even sure what those names are all about. Maybe they don't sound so weird in English, but trust me, in a Spanish speaking country they sound really really weird. However, AT LEAST they are original.

After all, I'm from Argentina. This is the country were people name their children over fashion and not because they like the names. I know about 2.000 girls named Sofia (no offense to the girl, it's just very common here) and over 9.000 baby girls names Valentina. It's like, we get it already. But please name your child something singular and something that you REALLY like, not just because of a fad.

 

[eat]

IRL Earl Hickey named his son "Pilot Inspektor".

 

[SolarSnivy]

The people who named their kids these have air in between their ears.

Poor Harper 7 Beckham, what did they do to you...

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Excerpted from Uncle John's Gigantic Bathroom Reader:


THE PLAINTIFF: The Swedish government
THE DEFENDANT: Elisabeth Hall, [Swedish housewife]
THE LAWSUIT: For five years the Hallins, who say they believe in the surrealist doctrine of "pataphysics", refused to give their son a name. Then Swedish tax officials informed them it was a legal requirement. They chose Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxclmnckssqlbb11116 [which Mrs. Hallin pronounced "Albin" at the trial]- which was immediately rejected by the authorities. The couple insisted that the "typographically expressionistic" name was merely "an artistic creation", consistent with their pataphysical beliefs.
THE VERDICT: The government disagreed. The Hallins were fined 5,000 kronor (about $735 [US]) and ordered to come up with a different name.


Pretty stupid.

If I ever have a kid, I'm adopting one. If it's a boy, I'm going to change his middle name to Sirlingson. It's a name I made up. It's derived from the Danish "saerling son", meaning "oddball's son" or "son of an oddball". You can guess why. Well, I think it's funny, anyway

 

[Zesty Cactus]

my mother is a nurse and she works with newborn babies, so she sees a lot of wacky names. the one i always remember is this boy named Freedom, or "Free" for short, according to the mother

Excerpted from Uncle John's Gigantic Bathroom Reader:

ha, i've read this one. Uncle John's Bathroom Reader is like, my Bible.

 

[Milkapoke]

I was lurking some site before with baby names...

Someone named their kid Princess Diamond -___-

And a sister and a brother at my school are named Ireland and Canada, and another girl is named Asia.

 

[Cap'n Jack]

ha, i've read this one. Uncle John's Bathroom Reader is like, my Bible.

O MAH GAWD U LEIK DA BATHROOM REEDERZ 2?!!!ONE!?

I was lurking some site before with baby names...

Someone named their kid Princess Diamond -___-

And a sister and a brother at my school are named Ireland and Canada, and another girl is named Asia.

I don't think Ireland is a half-bad name, personally.

 

[SolarSnivy]

I was lurking some site before with baby names...

Someone named their kid Princess Diamond -___-

And a sister and a brother at my school are named Ireland and Canada, and another girl is named Asia.

Which is Ireland and which is Canada?

 

[Cyber Jet]

There is a doctor in my town who has the name "Mike Hunt". Its best not to say his whole name out loud.

Also there is this

Spoiler

 

[pokemaster8901]

theres one kid in my math class named brandy.

 

[manathief]

I have a textbook that at some point belonged to someone named Krystle. I gotta say, that is the second-worst possible alternate spelling of Crystal. Only worse way wound be Kryztle.

 

[Fair Verona]

My teacher told me a story about two twins named Orange-jello and Lemon-jello.( pronounced as orongello and lemongello) and he also told us about La-a. (pronounced Ladasha)