Bigfoot Is Part Human

Disappointment
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Bigfoot is people! At least that’s according to a new five-year study of the creatures purported DNA by a prominent Bigfootologist. “Genetically, the Sasquatch are a human hybrid with unambiguously modern human maternal ancestry,” reads a statement released last weekend by former veterinarian Melba T. Ketchum, the lead researcher of the study. ”Researchers’ extensive DNA sequencing suggests that the legendary Sasquatch is a human relative that arose approximately 15,000 years ago.” Yes, that would mean means that Bigfoot is more man-ape than ape-man. However as the hominids are notoriously reclusive, if not entirely fictional — there has never been a single confirmed sighting — it’s unclear whether we will need to extend an invitation to our Sasquatch relatives for Easter brunch.

For her study, Ketchum “sequenced 20 whole mitochondrial genomes and utilized next generation sequencing to obtain three whole nuclear genomes from purported Sasquatch samples.” As her team interpreted their findings, the Sasquatch is a human hybrid with mitochondrial DNA identical to human mitochondrial DNA and nuclear DNA that is of “novel,” or non-human, sequence. To hark back to high school biology for a moment: mitochondrial DNA is inherited from the mother, while nuclear DNA mixes genetic material from both parents. That means that according to Ketchum’s study, Sasquatch’s parents were a human female and some unknown third species, a “novel non-human” male.

At this point it’s probably important to note that the study has not yet been submitted for peer review and Ketchum has thus far refused to release her data, explain her methodology or say where she got the “Sasquatch DNA samples” in the first place. Also, according to Houston Chronicle science writer Eric Borger, Ketchum has credibility issues of her own: her company, DNA Diagnostics, has received more than two dozen customer complaints and gets an F from the Better Business Bureau. Oh, and those mysterious third-species males who were supposedly picking up human women on some kind of proto-Craigslist? According to a blogger and Bigfoot enthusiast named Robert Lindsay, earlier drafts of Ketchum’s study claimed they were angels.

The scientific community remains, unsurprisingly, dubious.”The bottom line is this,” Yale neurologist Steven Novella wrote at NeuroLogica Blog: ”Human DNA plus some anomalies or unknowns does not equal an impossible human-ape hybrid. It equals human DNA plus some anomalies.”

For her part Ketchum, a Texas veterinarian who claims among her bona fides “27 years of research in genetics, including forensics,” wants Sasquatch to be immediately afforded civil liberties and protected by state and federal governments as an indigenous people. “Genetically, the Sasquatch are a human hybrid with unambiguously modern human maternal ancestry. Government at all levels must recognize them as an indigenous people and immediately protect their human and Constitutional rights against those who would see in their physical and cultural differences a ‘license’ to hunt, trap, or kill them,” she writes. We guess that would exclude a blimp hunt.
Bigfoot Is Part Human, and Here Are the DNA Tests to Prove It, Claims Woman | TIME.com

Okay... that's just a little weird to think about. : <
 
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Let's dance
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Now that's interesting to think about. The fabled Bigfoot being part-man... Pretty weird.
 
Amphibious Friend
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I want to meet this lady so she can introduce me a unicorn ride to the North Pole to meet Santa.

Really, the only way this could possibly work is if we assume bigfoot is a real creature, and even then the "evidence" would be based on one woman's work which she won't let anybody else see. Riiiight.
 
Hψ=Eψ
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Bigfootologist.
refused to release her data, explain her methodology or say where she got the “Sasquatch DNA samples” in the first place
earlier drafts of Ketchum’s study claimed they were angels.
27 years of research in genetics
wants Sasquatch to be immediately afforded civil liberties and protected by state and federal governments as an indigenous people

Hahahaha, oh wow. This is fucking hilarious.
 
Steel Pokémon Master
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I could come to the same conclusion by looking at pictures and disregarding reality.
 
Gutes deutsches Bier
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Actually according to much of the "photographic evidence" for bigfoot, she is right. Bigfoot is part human part monkey suit.
 
Me am stalking bug
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I wouldn't trust anyone whose surname is "Ketchum". For obvious reasons.

Regardless, while I do believe there is an uncatalogued species, I highly doubt it's a Homo. Great Ape, probably, but not part of the Homo genus.
 
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They did find a severed Bigfoot hand before... I believed it until I saw the scientist's name. Really? Ketchum?
 
Gutes deutsches Bier
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I'm kind of curious as to why the "science" tag was chosen for this thread.
 
Gather round, people, I'll tell you a story
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I'm kind of curious as to why the "science" tag was chosen for this thread.
Well, cryptozoology is, technically, a science. A bogus science, but a science nonetheless.
 
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