EVERYONE: Birthday Boy (One-Shot)

[Max1996]

Inspired by my birthday yesterday, I decided to create this one-shot story.

...Make what you will of the fact that it contains characters from a fanfiction story that I conceived before eventually scrapping it altogether.

The story itself will be published later today (February 8th)

Story's been posted, see threadmarks.

 

[Max1996]

Outside one of the houses in Vaniville Town in the Kalos region, a teenage girl was setting up some decorations, being helped by several Pokémon.
She smiled as she looked around, just as Typhlosion and Sceptile carefully placed an assembled table onto the ground.
As the two Pokémon set the table down, the latter glanced and nodded at a Roserade and a Chesnaught, who walked towards it, each holding two corners of a tablecloth.
At the same time, a Hydreigon and a Lucario that’s carefully standing on top of a Luxray worked together to hang a banner between two nearby trees.
“Hey, Grace!” a voice called out to her from the door of the house. Looking over, she saw her father stepping outside.
“Good work, Chesnaught,” he said, complimenting the taller Grass-Type, returning it to its Poké Ball. He turned to Grace who was affectionately petting the Roserade.
“The breakfast preparations are just about done now. Melvin’s putting on the finishing touches.”
Just then, a blue figure sped by the three, dashing over the table, leaving behind several plates and cups.
“Wow...” Grace said in awe at the speed. “Impressive job, Greninja. You‘re really excited for today, aren’t you?”
The tall, blue frog nodded, the younger Trainer noticing a bit of a smile behind the Pokémon’s scarf.
Grace’s father glanced at his watch. “He should be awake any minute now...”
---
In one of the rooms of the house, a teenage boy about the same age as Grace opened his eyes. He yawned and stretched, before slowly getting up from his bed.
He walked downstairs, closing the zipper of his vest at the same time.
The moment the boy pushed open the door to the outside, the people and Pokémon turned to look at him.
“Oh...” Grace merely said. “Good morning, Max...”
“Morning...” he merely got out, before actually looking at his surroundings.
Just as he processed the text on the banner, “HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY MAX”, he was pushed to the ground by Hydreigon, who pulled him into an affectionate, if forceful, hug.
“H-Hey, Hydreigon...” Max muttered weakly. “L-Let go...I can’t breathe...”
The Dragon-Type showed no signs of letting up, before Typhlosion and Sceptile stepped over and carefully pulled the three-headed Pokémon off their Trainer, with Lucario and Greninja helping him up.
Grace’s father shook his head a bit. “No matter how many times I see it, it’s still quite hard to believe...”
The teenage girl chuckled. “I’m sure that guy’s the most excited of his Pokémon for today.”
At that moment, Max’s father stepped outside.
“Breakfast’s all do...oh, you’re awake. Happy birthday, my boy!”
---
As the people and Pokémon eat the breakfast feast that’s been prepared, Grace hands Max a box that’s been gift-wrapped.
“I’m sure you’ll appreciate it. It’s something I’ve made just for you,” she told him.
Max eagerly unwrapped and opened the box, finding a black cap inside. He took it out and examined it closely, noticing a glimmer at the top of it.
“A...Key Stone?” he asked out loud, to which Grace nodded.
“You once mentioned wanting an accessory like this after seeing Diantha with her Mega Charm, so I figured this Mega Cap suits you best. I put it together myself.”
Max happily held up the cap, showing it to Sceptile, who grinned and nodded, before putting it on himself.
“It certainly suits you, boy,” Grace’s father remarked. “Though that reminds me...what are you going to do on this special day?”
The now-18-year-old Trainer was silent for a few moments. “I...I don’t know, honestly...”
Max’s father spoke up. “Since it’s been 8 years since your adventures with you and your friends began, how about you all play together for the day? You couldn’t have...”
He trailed off, briefly looking sad, before picking himself up. “...even come close to where you got without them.”
Max nodded. “Good idea. Thanks, dad.”
As soon as Max and his Pokémon finished eating, they got up from the table and headed into the forest outside Vaniville.
---
As the sun started to set, Grace and Max’s fathers got to work on dinner.
“Thanks for all the help, Phil,” the male Trainer’s father remarked.
“Don’t mention it, Melvin. It’s the least I could do after everything,” the neighbor said in response.
While Max and his team were heading back to the town, the Trainer’s Xtranceiver went off.
Seeing who was calling him, he answered.
“Hey there, Dwayne,” he said, looking at the tanned Trainer his age.
“Yo, pal!” the other Trainer responded. “Happy birthday! Doin’ all right today?”
Max nodded. “How about you?”
Dwayne yawned. “Just...woke up now...you know how it is, between Kalos and Alola...”
“Right...” Max muttered.
Dwayne shook his head. “But that’s nothing, compared to your birthday, bud. You just enjoy the rest of the day. However...”
The Alolan Trainer trailed off, fidgeting with his grey metallic necklace a bit, before continuing. “for the next time we meet in person, I got a little something that might just give me an edge against ya in battle. I’m sure Lycanroc is as excited as I am for that day. Right, bud?”
The orange-colored Dusk form of Lycanroc came into view, licking the Alolan Trainer before turning to face the person on the other side of the call, grinning upon seeing him.
“I can tell,” Max responded.
The call ended just a second later, leaving Max to stare at the black screen of the Xtranceiver.
“Interesting...I guess he’ll never change...can’t wait to see what he’s got up his sleeve, next time we’re there. Whatever it is, I’m sure it’ll be quite a challenge for us. But nothing we can’t handle.”
Max glanced at his Pokémon team. “Right, guys?”
The six loudly voiced their agreement. Their Trainer smiled at them, just as his house comes back into their view.

 

[System Error]

Okay Mr. I delayed posting it for no good reason. Now that you have, I've read..

- Formatting on this is super weird. Only single space line breaks?
- Well that is a lot of starter and Grass Pokemon all in one place. Hydreigon stands out!
- It's a bit weird saying around the same age as someone without saying what that age is. I mean it's given seconds later but
- Did this dude just walk outside right after getting up?
- Grace had a, well. Really subdued reaction. Contrast with the super affectionate Hydreigon of all things. Also the super affectionate Hydreigon was amusing. Stands out even more as the only Pokemon that really did stuff.
- While I don't like Mega Evolution, one thing I do like is seeing creative key stone conduits.
- I was a bit confused here admittedly. Since both named characters have fathers who are just named, character's father. Well, until a bit later.
- You'd think he'd give a bigger reaction towards Grace for her handmade gift. He doesn't even say thank you!
- But where did he get? I'm not sure what to make of the father's reaction here.
- No I don't know how it is, between Kalos and Alola. Unless he was talking about the time zone differences.
- I'm guessing that something is a Z-Whatever it is again. Which can Mega things anyway.
- Well that was a scene. Honestly I was hoping for more Grace.

This was certainly a one-shot fic all right. It was a bit too short and scattershot for its own good, that said. Like with Grace. Thought there was going to be a thing between her and Max, but, nothing came of it. The two barely interacted, and then there's this random other guy at the end too. I guess what I'm saying is, it was fine for what it was, but could've been so much more.

 

[Max1996]

Okay Mr. I delayed posting it for no good reason. Now that you have, I've read..

- Formatting on this is super weird. Only single space line breaks?
- Well that is a lot of starter and Grass Pokemon all in one place. Hydreigon stands out!
- It's a bit weird saying around the same age as someone without saying what that age is. I mean it's given seconds later but
- Did this dude just walk outside right after getting up?
- Grace had a, well. Really subdued reaction. Contrast with the super affectionate Hydreigon of all things. Also the super affectionate Hydreigon was amusing. Stands out even more as the only Pokemon that really did stuff.
- While I don't like Mega Evolution, one thing I do like is seeing creative key stone conduits.
- I was a bit confused here admittedly. Since both named characters have fathers who are just named, character's father. Well, until a bit later.
- You'd think he'd give a bigger reaction towards Grace for her handmade gift. He doesn't even say thank you!
- But where did he get? I'm not sure what to make of the father's reaction here.
- No I don't know how it is, between Kalos and Alola. Unless he was talking about the time zone differences.
- I'm guessing that something is a Z-Whatever it is again. Which can Mega things anyway.
- Well that was a scene. Honestly I was hoping for more Grace.

This was certainly a one-shot fic all right. It was a bit too short and scattershot for its own good, that said. Like with Grace. Thought there was going to be a thing between her and Max, but, nothing came of it. The two barely interacted, and then there's this random other guy at the end too. I guess what I'm saying is, it was fine for what it was, but could've been so much more.

All very good points. Though I'd like to add the fact that this one-shot in its entirety breaks the 'show, don't tell' rule.

Now, it may have helped if I actually did the fanfiction story with these characters that I conceived, but the big problem was that I just couldn't come up with anything for between the major plot events and details, which would lead to a finished product with excessive timeskips, horribly inconsistent pacing or maybe even both.
Doesn't help that I'm the worst writer of battles I can think of.

 

[Huikyeong]

okay but that hydreigon tho; i love the visual of it glomping max; I loved it!

 

[Max1996]

okay but that hydreigon tho; i love the visual of it glomping max; I loved it!

Thanks. I basically intended Hydreigon to be Max's ace in this story.


...I will say, though, that, while it seemed to be a good way to have these story characters see the light of day just this once, I'm starting to wonder if this one-shot was actually a good idea to begin with, after giving System Error's post some more thought.