- Joined
- Aug 20, 2007
- Messages
- 2,694
- Reaction score
- 2,368
All right, here's my chapter-by-chapter comments.
C1
- I like and see how battling/the gym challenge is (still) treated as a serious sport in this. Right away we're hurled into a gym battle and thorough sports commentators we get a good view of the world, as well as addressing the whole shared league mess.
- In the paragraph that follows, we see a bit of unconventional usage of Pokemon thorough the description of the Espeon. If I recall correctly here too, seeing a lot more humanization from Will Wynne, the most unfortunately pun-named trainer, here.
- I find it especially amusing that Bugsy of all gym leaders is painted as a huge threat. Usually any ordinary trainer would steamroll the idiot with his two cocoons, unless they're completely dumb and let Fury Cutter get going in Gen 2 or just have a terribly weak team in any generation. In any event, discussions of strategy appear here.
- IMPOSSIBUR..HITTU...DORILL...BREEEEEEEEEEAKKKUUUU!!! Silly names to befuddle opponents.
- That must have been one extremely super powerful Dynamic Punch to take out a gym leader's Pokemon at a quad type disadvantage in a single attack.
- Not sure how I feel about the brothers effectively being shorter identical versions of each other.
- We see a bit of religious stuff here too. I like it, especially compared to the heavy-handed ridiculous fic I just came off of before this one.
- Don't remember this analysis scene before, but it has been a while.
- Hey come to think of it, why'd the dude use a Psychic type in a bug gym, anyway? I mean from Toxic the opponent was implicitly part Poison but still!
- The argument here is really realistic. Sounds like stuff close brothers might say.
- Be careful what you wish for, Max. Makes me wonder from the description if it was an evil spirit.
- Well we're right into things, again I believe. A big conspiracy of battlers twisted by some...twisted twisty doctor. Including implications that he regularly shuts down gym challenges.
- Makes me wonder if this is like a region-wide conspiracy that the police/officials for whatever reason completely ignore. Hoping there's a realistic explanation as to why they can get away with this.
C2
- Piss a guy off enough so he kills someone? What kind of an insane evil plan is this?!
- Now we get our convenient yet vague excuse/implications as to why these guys are allowed to get away with what they do.
- In fact we have two groups trying to fix things, from the looks of it.
- Do like the excuse for Celebi being worshipped being that it watches over the future, it makes sense
- Heh. Especially like Frankie's emulation going completely wrong due to being too literal.
- Guess in this world Squirtles can Scratch no problem.
- Bulbasuar typo!
- Man Max is kind of a jerk, isn't he?
C3
- So now we get the short scene where the police show up. Feel Lydia could be a bit more worried here.
- Why's North suddenly capitalized like so?
- Can't help but wonder that this whole incident is either founded on a huge goddamned conspiracy in the world or a couple or egotistical brothers trying to do things on their own out of pride.
- Yeah, especially Max. He's an egomaniacal dick who thinks he's better than he is.
- Hey use of Unown in a fic. Neat.
- Doc is kind of a piece of shit. Or at least a supervillain. Explaining his situation, saying he runs everything, and taking back what he feels is his because...reasons? Like he originally wanted the badges, but why?
- Don't remember this mysterious old woman from the previous incarnation of this, but it has been a while.
- Kanjo, huh? Man, that feel when Johto can't even have its own identity.
- Getting some backstory in this next scene, as well as implied names for the black jumpsuit people. Apparently Terry may be a fugitive of some sort, I guess? Can't think of any reason he'd want to be in superhiding.
- Woo, Lydia about to kick some ass herself in this version!
C4
- Extreme paranoia setting in I see.
- A throne. Typical.
- Hmmm. Guess Will is wrapped up in some serious stuff. Anything to become powerful.
- Well I can at least see why Doc might want Spike dead. This guy is unstable, a serious liability to his organization.
- I'm not sure if I can keep up with all these antagonists. Like this is getting super conspiracy-y right from the get-go. We don't even know why these two women want the boys.
- TV shows where the Pokemon always burst out on the second shake? Okay then. Do like these captures though, do a good job of portraying beginning trainers.
- Don't remember this scene either. A different way of acquiring a Pokemon. Yes Will is definitely into some shady stuff, and from the implications Max might be involved by association.
- The Chief an old friend of Doc's, huh? Yes he indeed runs the everything.
C5
- Spike explaining everything to them
- Whoever the broads are, it seems that even this legitimate business does not want to mess with them.
- Hmm. From the seems of it, the Chief doesn't seem to be in on The Conspiracy, but he does have many of his subordinates wrapped up in it. Except subsequent bits about buying time say otherwise
- Finally getting a job description of the broads. And I guess their reason is to go after the infamous Champ. And I guses their unconventional methods are holding WIll's brothers hostage.
- Funny. Frankie acting as the voice of reason between the oldest and the middle.
- And yet again they end up captured. This time without even a cheap-ass hostel letting anybody walk into any room, either.
C6
- Damn. Lydia laying down the law.
- Yup, the broads are after Will.
- Also showing hypocrisy in breaking the law to enforce it.
- Why don't the broads just stake the place out if they know where Will is going to be? They're pretty dumb broads.
- Lots of flashybacky stuff here.
- Man, that Training Room is legit if it could make those two Pokemon evolve in such a short period of time.
- Spike thinking he's the good guys. Ha.
C7
- How big is this Magneton for it to be able to carry three teenagers without anyone falling off?
- Not surprising given his history Will knows of a few safehouses. Or safe mountaincaverns.
- Ha. Ending of that tipoff scene was amusing.
- Wonder how long Max' hallucinations are going to go on? Serious PTSD here.
- Signs of the brutal Champ in Will right there.
- Now we get the reveal that he pursued strength so hard. Like this, it's fleshing him out more.
- Kind of feel this exposition is pretty long. It just kept going on and on.
- Some development from Will too!
- Like the idea that Silph armed themselves after the Team Rocket takeover.
Looking forward to the next, assuming this hasn't sputtered and died again. :<
C1
- I like and see how battling/the gym challenge is (still) treated as a serious sport in this. Right away we're hurled into a gym battle and thorough sports commentators we get a good view of the world, as well as addressing the whole shared league mess.
- In the paragraph that follows, we see a bit of unconventional usage of Pokemon thorough the description of the Espeon. If I recall correctly here too, seeing a lot more humanization from Will Wynne, the most unfortunately pun-named trainer, here.
- I find it especially amusing that Bugsy of all gym leaders is painted as a huge threat. Usually any ordinary trainer would steamroll the idiot with his two cocoons, unless they're completely dumb and let Fury Cutter get going in Gen 2 or just have a terribly weak team in any generation. In any event, discussions of strategy appear here.
- IMPOSSIBUR..HITTU...DORILL...BREEEEEEEEEEAKKKUUUU!!! Silly names to befuddle opponents.
- That must have been one extremely super powerful Dynamic Punch to take out a gym leader's Pokemon at a quad type disadvantage in a single attack.
- Not sure how I feel about the brothers effectively being shorter identical versions of each other.
- We see a bit of religious stuff here too. I like it, especially compared to the heavy-handed ridiculous fic I just came off of before this one.
- Don't remember this analysis scene before, but it has been a while.
- Hey come to think of it, why'd the dude use a Psychic type in a bug gym, anyway? I mean from Toxic the opponent was implicitly part Poison but still!
- The argument here is really realistic. Sounds like stuff close brothers might say.
- Be careful what you wish for, Max. Makes me wonder from the description if it was an evil spirit.
- Well we're right into things, again I believe. A big conspiracy of battlers twisted by some...twisted twisty doctor. Including implications that he regularly shuts down gym challenges.
- Makes me wonder if this is like a region-wide conspiracy that the police/officials for whatever reason completely ignore. Hoping there's a realistic explanation as to why they can get away with this.
C2
- Piss a guy off enough so he kills someone? What kind of an insane evil plan is this?!
- Now we get our convenient yet vague excuse/implications as to why these guys are allowed to get away with what they do.
- In fact we have two groups trying to fix things, from the looks of it.
- Do like the excuse for Celebi being worshipped being that it watches over the future, it makes sense
- Heh. Especially like Frankie's emulation going completely wrong due to being too literal.
- Guess in this world Squirtles can Scratch no problem.
- Bulbasuar typo!
- Man Max is kind of a jerk, isn't he?
C3
- So now we get the short scene where the police show up. Feel Lydia could be a bit more worried here.
- Why's North suddenly capitalized like so?
- Can't help but wonder that this whole incident is either founded on a huge goddamned conspiracy in the world or a couple or egotistical brothers trying to do things on their own out of pride.
- Yeah, especially Max. He's an egomaniacal dick who thinks he's better than he is.
- Hey use of Unown in a fic. Neat.
- Doc is kind of a piece of shit. Or at least a supervillain. Explaining his situation, saying he runs everything, and taking back what he feels is his because...reasons? Like he originally wanted the badges, but why?
- Don't remember this mysterious old woman from the previous incarnation of this, but it has been a while.
- Kanjo, huh? Man, that feel when Johto can't even have its own identity.
- Getting some backstory in this next scene, as well as implied names for the black jumpsuit people. Apparently Terry may be a fugitive of some sort, I guess? Can't think of any reason he'd want to be in superhiding.
- Woo, Lydia about to kick some ass herself in this version!
C4
- Extreme paranoia setting in I see.
- A throne. Typical.
- Hmmm. Guess Will is wrapped up in some serious stuff. Anything to become powerful.
- Well I can at least see why Doc might want Spike dead. This guy is unstable, a serious liability to his organization.
- I'm not sure if I can keep up with all these antagonists. Like this is getting super conspiracy-y right from the get-go. We don't even know why these two women want the boys.
- TV shows where the Pokemon always burst out on the second shake? Okay then. Do like these captures though, do a good job of portraying beginning trainers.
- Don't remember this scene either. A different way of acquiring a Pokemon. Yes Will is definitely into some shady stuff, and from the implications Max might be involved by association.
- The Chief an old friend of Doc's, huh? Yes he indeed runs the everything.
C5
- Spike explaining everything to them
- Whoever the broads are, it seems that even this legitimate business does not want to mess with them.
- Hmm. From the seems of it, the Chief doesn't seem to be in on The Conspiracy, but he does have many of his subordinates wrapped up in it. Except subsequent bits about buying time say otherwise
- Finally getting a job description of the broads. And I guess their reason is to go after the infamous Champ. And I guses their unconventional methods are holding WIll's brothers hostage.
- Funny. Frankie acting as the voice of reason between the oldest and the middle.
- And yet again they end up captured. This time without even a cheap-ass hostel letting anybody walk into any room, either.
C6
- Damn. Lydia laying down the law.
- Yup, the broads are after Will.
- Also showing hypocrisy in breaking the law to enforce it.
- Why don't the broads just stake the place out if they know where Will is going to be? They're pretty dumb broads.
- Lots of flashybacky stuff here.
- Man, that Training Room is legit if it could make those two Pokemon evolve in such a short period of time.
- Spike thinking he's the good guys. Ha.
C7
- How big is this Magneton for it to be able to carry three teenagers without anyone falling off?
- Not surprising given his history Will knows of a few safehouses. Or safe mountaincaverns.
- Ha. Ending of that tipoff scene was amusing.
- Wonder how long Max' hallucinations are going to go on? Serious PTSD here.
- Signs of the brutal Champ in Will right there.
- Now we get the reveal that he pursued strength so hard. Like this, it's fleshing him out more.
- Kind of feel this exposition is pretty long. It just kept going on and on.
- Some development from Will too!
- Like the idea that Silph armed themselves after the Team Rocket takeover.
Looking forward to the next, assuming this hasn't sputtered and died again. :<
