TEEN: But How Will It Be: A Drabble Collection (COMPLETE!)

[Welkamo]

So this might be the heaviest of these drabbles so far. Certainly not EVERYONE, probably TEEN, maybe MATURE.

Y'know, this one's less about college and more about how Wallace had really bad coping mechanisms in college. Is that a cop out? Beats me.

CW//Mental Illness, Eating Disorders, Alcohol Abuse, Mentions of Drugs and Alcohol, Minor Suicidal Ideation, and Self Harm

College - Wallace

Wallace majored in Art History and Religious Studies and minored in Theatre at Rustboro University, his Hell above ground.

In addition to academic duties and swim team duties, he also had to balance his training to be Sootopolis City’s guardian and Gym Leader and his rise in the Contest world. And so, in an attempt to gain some control over the typhoon of the world around him, he turned to some rather… unhealthy coping mechanisms.

The restrictive eating habits of his teen years became self induced vomiting whenever he so much as ate a bite over his strict limitations (or whenever he needed to purge negative emotions). His roommate, Filbert, was a partygoer and had a lot of drugs and alcohol. When his emotions became too overwhelming, Wallace would steal a bottle of liquor from Filbert, lock himself up in his bedroom, and drown his pain. Wallace is a lightweight. He doesn’t remember how his mood swings worsen when intoxicated—how he can go from laughing hysterically and singing Galarian rock to laying on the floor as he contemplates suicide. All he can remember is that he feels very numb when drunk, and back in college, he used this to his miserable advantage.

But no one could know about his coping mechanisms, not even the two people that Wallace let himself be slightly vulnerable around. Sure, Steven could let him stay at his dorm when Wallace was too exhausted to make it to his and Filbert’s dorm. Sure, Winona could hold back his hair as he vomited from progressively worsening migraines. None of that meant that they could know why he had panic attacks over eating in public, why he always wore long sleeves even on Hoenn’s hottest days, why he suffered from seemingly constant nausea, vomiting, headaches, exhaustion, and dizziness. They couldn't know. His professors couldn't know. Even his family (which included Juan, in Wallace's eyes) couldn't know. They’d probably see him as a failure—imperfect—if they knew. Wallace had to be perfect on the outside; he could be secretly suffering, but his surface had to be perfect, perfect, perfect.

But then, in Wallace’s sophomore year of college, it all came crashing down, like the cracks in the dam had finally been too much.

 

[Welkamo]

Mentor - Winona

Winona’s first mentor was her father. Her second mentor was Mari, former Gym Leader of Fortree City.

Mari was a Bug type specialist back when she was a trainer. She left her duties as Gym Leader so she could focus more on her work in the Rustboro Archives, but this work began during her time as Gym Leader. She researched Bug types, but due to the nature of her job, she was well acquainted with Haruki and his family.

Mari taught Winona about Pokémon battles, even if Rina disapproved of it (at least Haruki was understanding). Mari didn’t force Winona to train Bug types; she could already tell that the girl much preferred Flying types, and she encouraged this passion. She encouraged Winona's love of birds, her desire to fly, her desire to be free. Winona is scared of bugs. She can sometimes almost feel them calling up her skin, and she hates being in her house and finding a spider or other creepy crawly. But Mari’s Pokémon, as creepy and crawly as they are, always treat her nicely. Same thing with Bugsy's Pokémon.

But now Mari lives in Rustboro City, living a quiet life as she sorts through documents and pictures of Bug type Pokémon, helping aspiring trainers begin their journey, occasionally teaching at the Trainers School. Winona still visits her when she travels through the city (either when she's visiting Roxanne or giving a guest lecture): to thank Mari, to ask about Bug types so she can better understand her younger sibling, to ask about Bug/Flying type Pokémon.

But now Winona is a mentor in her own right. She's a mentor to the Hoenn Gym Leaders, especially the younger ones. (She may be young herself, but that doesn't mean she's not intelligent.) She’s a mentor to her Gym Trainers—as all Gym Leaders should be, in her opinion—and they look up to her as a strong trainer, a loving protector, a guardian angel even. She works hard to make Fortree City safe. She works hard to help the Gym Leaders, the Gym Trainers, everyone she meets. She works hard to make her parents, her mentor, her city proud.

 

[Welkamo]

CW// Self Esteem Issues, Implied Parental Death

Mentor - Steven

Steven didn’t really have a “mentor figure” growing up. He had his mom, until he didn’t. He had his dad, except when he didn’t. He had Beldum, but Beldum was a friend, not a mentor.

But then he became Champion, and then he found Glacia and Drake.

Glacia and Drake are exact opposites. Glacia is calm and modest. Drake is loud and rowdy. Glacia uses the elegant Ice type. Drake uses the wild Dragon type. Steven needs them both. He needs Glacia’s peaceful, motherly listening. He needs Drake’s confidence and years of experience as a Gym Leader turned Champion turned Elite Four member.

He’s been called a mentor several times himself. Many people, young and old, look up to him. He doesn’t yet know how to feel about it, though he figures it’s better than being hated. It’s a bit stressful, however, to keep up an image worthy of being looked up to. He helps everyone he can, especially children. He gives away gifts and advice like candy. (He’s rich; he can afford it.) He accepts victory and defeat, steps and obstacles, and personal strength and weakness with grace.

 

[Welkamo]

Mentor - Wallace

Wallace’s mentor was Juan. Many respect Juan as a member of Sootopolitan high society, a master Trainer and Coordinator, a handsome Don Juan. But to Wallace, he’s more than that. He doesn’t know where he would be without Juan. (And, to be honest, Juan doesn’t know where he would be without Wallace.)

Wallace is a mentor himself: to Lisia.

The two have been close since Lisia was just a baby. Her Hinodejin name is based on her great aunt’s name, Lydia, and her late grandmother’s name: Lucille, which means light. Lisia has always been a light in Wallace’s life, especially during his darkest moments.

He worries that he isn’t a good mentor. If she could see through his marble facade and see the cracks, he says, surely she’d see him as nothing more than a broken pedestal. Surely the illusion would disappear.

But in any case, it was Wallace who inspired Lisia to be a Coordinator, and it was Wallace who taught her the ways of the stage. It gives him some comfort in knowing that she can become a star in the Contest world, in knowing that someone can take his place in the Contest world while he focuses on Sootopolis City and its Gym. Of course, he still stays by her side, making sure she doesn't go down any of the paths he did. Of course, he still occasionally graces the stage by her side, even bringing her along to the Wallace Cup. Of course, he's still there for her. He may be a godlike superstar to her, but she's just as important to his life as he is to hers.

 

[Welkamo]

CW// Emotional Abuse, Physical Abuse of Pokémon

Darkest Memory - Winona

Winona’s darkest memory is like a thunderstorm: brash and loud. The storm was when her mother tried to drag her back into the cage; lightning struck in the form of Theresa’s insults.

Winona had lost her first Gym battle, a match against Mari. News reached her family, of course. Haruki wasn’t mad; as he told Winona, “a bird doesn’t fly perfectly on its first try.”

Rina, however, was furious. She had demanded that Winona stop her travels, that she come home and learn to be a proper woman and not some rebellious little girl. If she couldn’t even win Pokémon battles, how could she possibly survive alone?

And then came Theresa three days later. She was more than happy to bombard Winona with insults: insults about how weak she was, insults about how pathetic she was, insults about how useless she was.

The final straw was when Theresa lashed out at Aurora, verbally and physically.

It was one for Theresa to insult Winona, but to insult and injure her best friend? That was too much. That was too, too much.

And so, against the wishes of Rina and Theresa, Winona and Aurora left home again to continue their journey. They would prove their right to go on a journey, their right to call themselves strong, their right to exist on this earth. They wouldn't let a lightning storm (or several) strike them down; they would just keep getting up, spreading their wings, and trying once again to reach for the sky.

 

[Welkamo]

CW// Parental Death

Darkest Memory - Steven

Steven’s darkest memory is like granite rock. Specifically, the type of granite that’s gray as TV static: solid, still, silent.

There have been many dark memories in Steven's life, but all of them have some form of movement, sound, and scent. Not like the day of his mother’s funeral. He can’t remember it like a movie, as he can for other memories, not even as an old, black-and-white or sepia movie (as he remembers most memories). It’s like a black-and-white photo: blurry, grainy, frozen.

Steven has seen pictures in black and white—mostly of his grandparents or great-grandparents—but there’s one of his parents on their wedding day. If he could paint with his memories, he could paint a perfect replica of it. His parents look ethereal in it, like they’re gods on Earth, or ghosts. There’s even a glow around them (something to do with how those photos work).

That’s sort of how his darkest memory feels: a static, black and white image of a small, scared boy and his stoic father, staring at a dark gray grave in a field of light gray grass. Gray coworkers (or friends? Or family? Steven can't remember and doesn't care to) walking away. Everything is gray. Gray like granite. Gray, gray, gray. But no glow. Just dull blacks, whites, and grays.

 

[Welkamo]

CW// Implied Mental Illness/Eating Disorder, Drowning Symbolism, and Mentions of Hospitals and Illness

Darkest Memory - Wallace

Wallace’s darkest memory is like drowning: suffocating, slowly losing consciousness, floating in bitter cold and heavy, dreamlike fluid. When you’re drowning, it doesn’t matter which of the Seven Seas you’re in. Similarly (or not), Wallace doesn’t know what his darkest memory is. There’s been a lot of them.

But maybe that time he spent in the hospital gets close to being the worst. Hospitals are scary.

Not the time he spent in the hospital when he was born premature. Not the time he spent in the hospital as a kid when he was struck with pneumonia. Or strep throat. Or a broken leg. It was when he was hospitalized for malnutrition.

In some ways, that memory is a symbol of failure, a symbol of drowning in failure when the mask of perfection couldn’t keep him afloat. Wallace remembers the numbness, the misery, the shame.

In other ways, that memory is a symbol of a turning point. It was a wake up call of sorts. It was like an arm reaching in the darkness towards him, pulling him back up to the surface, pulling him into a lifeboat.

Remembering it is like drowning in darkness, then seeing a light.

 

[Welkamo]

The Future - Winona

For Winona, the future is as expansive as the sky.

When she was a child, her imagination was limitless, but she would have never imagined achieving what she has now: winning eight Gym Badges, becoming a Gym Leader herself, meeting so many people and Pokémon…

But the sky is big and never ending. There are so many things and people and Pokémon for Winona to find. There’s so much to learn, so much to do, so so much…

Winona doesn’t know what to expect from the future, but she hopes that involves flying, both in the metaphorical and literal sense.

 

[Welkamo]

The Future - Steven

For Steven, the future is like a big, expansive cave to be explored.

He was trapped in the confines of his house and his Fate for most of his life, but now? Now he’s free to explore the world, to discover all of the mysteries, wonders, and rocks of the world. Now he can see, hear, touch, smell, and taste the world with his own senses and his own body.

He can explore caves.

One could argue that caves are confining, but Steven argues that they’re the exact opposite. They’re a symbol of freedom from what is expected of him.

 

[Welkamo]

CW// Some talk about death and hopelessness.

The Future - Wallace

For Wallace, the future is like an endless ocean.

There have been several times in his life where he thought that he wouldn’t have a future. There have been many, many moments of darkness with no light in sight. He still sometimes worry about relapse. He still sometimes worries that he won’t live past 27. At the same time, things are looking up for once. He's recovering, thriving, surviving, living.

The future is uncertain. The future is sometimes hopeful, sometimes hopeless. The future is as uncertain as the sea. They're both—at times—mysterious, confusing, dark, terrifying. But they're also both—at times—beautiful.