EVERYONE: Compound Eyes on the Surreal Sky [Summer 2020 one-shot event]

[Aozora]

Hey everyone, this is my entry for the summer 2020 one-shot event.

The story is based on Pokémon, and most of the inspiration is drawn from the games, although some comes from the anime and manga. Japanese names are used for human characters and locations, for the most part. The story takes place in Kanto and the Sevii Islands. To avoid confusion, the character "Midori" is one of the painters at Resort Gorgeous, and "Akiho" is Lady Selphy. "Natsume" is Sabrina, and this entry tells the story of how she becomes a gym leader. It's not necessarily meant to be canon though, and serves as somewhat of a parody.

About the rating: There are some fairly light-hearted discussions about life and death, but that's about it. There are some Pokémon battles, but they aren't described in much detail at all.

I'll post the actual story in the second post of this thread. I hope you guys have fun reading it.

 

[Aozora]

Compound Eyes on the Surreal Sky
​

On a calm summer night in Yamabuki City, Natsume walked home, alone. She was returning from a visit with her good friend, a younger girl named Imite. Imite liked to mimic other people, and Natsume was quite amused by this. In fact, Imite was Natsume’s only real friend- a friend who would agree no matter what she said. Natsume was in a way jealous of Imite’s youthfulness too. Imite could spend her days playing endlessly, while Natsume constantly worried about her future. Natsume was well into her last year of schooling, and currently had no plans to continue it. She exceled in school, and reveled in the discipline it instilled upon students. Natsume was frightened by the prospect of transitioning to the relatively free life that would come with attending university, but she was also unenthusiastic about entering the workforce. She was fond of the hierarchical nature of corporate culture, but at the same time viewed work as something that was below her. Natsume was after all a powerful psychic, and people of her type were -at least in their own eyes- meant to be the masters of mankind.

Natsume’s powers were something she was born with. As a young girl, she enjoyed playfully teleporting, and playing telekinetic tricks on her peers. As she got older though, she began to realize people like her were feared by others, and adopted a practice of hiding her powers; only using them where necessary. One such application was telepathy. Natsume didn’t enjoy battling, but she did own an Alakazam that she had raised from a young Abra. Alakazam was a being of pure logic. When she engaged it with telepathy, there was no emotion. Alakazam was essentially an organic computer. The two made a good team, and were powerful when they needed to be. The only other Pokémon Natsume had interacted with was Imite’s Ditto, which she used to evolve her Kadabra by trading. This interaction wasn’t very meaningful though, since Ditto’s brain was wrought with errors.

Natsume continued her walk home. The streets of Yamabuki were well-lit, organized, and exceptionally clean. Natsume liked it this way. She did however carry her Aalakazam with her at night. There were rumors recently of mischievous ghosts from the nearby Sion Town coming out at night, which terrified Natsume; although she had never seen any herself. This night though, was different.

From the roof of a nearby house, a dark figure jumped down in front of Natsume, startling her. The figure looked like a human, but concealed its body with a cloak, and its face with a scarf. Before she could shriek though, it began to speak. “Relax. I’m not a ghost,” the man’s voice said. “Who are you, and what could you possibly be doing? Jumping across the rooftops like that!” Natsume exclaimed. The man answered: “People who wander aimlessly at night don’t have to justify themselves to each other. It’s an unwritten rule.” “I’m not wandering aimlessly. I’m just heading home,” Natsume responded.

The man spoke again: “I disagree. You may be heading home, but you’re not really going anywhere, are you? You have a lot of power, but you don’t know what to do with it. Clearly this uncertainty is troubling you. Maybe that’s why you psychic types are so afraid of ghosts: not because they’re ghosts, but because the existence of something you can’t explain is too disruptive to how you perceive the world. You should open up a bit. You have the potential to become someone great.” “Maybe, but why are you telling me this? And how do you know so much about me?” Natsume asked, confused.

“I work for the Pokémon League, and we take it upon ourselves to scout powerful trainers. Yamabuki needs a gym leader, and I think you’d fit the role. The gym is holding a tournament this weekend, and the winner could be considered for the new leader position. Besides, being a gym leader confers upon you significant power. Perhaps you could do something about Yamabuki’s ghost problem. Think about it. But for now, I must return to the shadows.” The man quickly jumped out of sight without making a sound.

Natsume wasn’t quite sure how to process this encounter. The man was indeed strange, but seemed harmless enough. Was this really how gym leaders were recruited? It didn’t seem like the most efficient system, although she admittedly wasn’t too familiar with the Pokémon League. She knew other gym leaders existed, but she couldn’t name any of them. Beyond battling, Natsume wasn’t aware of what gym leaders actually did. To Natsume, Pokémon battling was something for children to watch on TV, not a serious career path. Still, the allure of power was enough to convince her to pursue the opportunity, so she decided she would discuss it with her father once she returned home.

“Dad, I’m home, are you there?” The two were able to communicate through telepathy, which Natsume preferred over face-to-face interaction. “Oh, you’re finally back. I was beginning to worry,” Natsume’s father answered from upstairs, where he was probably asleep before Natsume got home. “Were you visiting your friend Imite again?” Natsume’s father thought Imite was weird, but he was glad his daughter had a friend, acknowledging she was different too. “Yeah, but I decided to take a walk on the way home. To think about… things.” “Oh, what kind of things?” Her father asked. “Well, I was thinking- I’ve had this Alakazam for a while, but never really delved much into Pokémon battling. There’s a tournament this weekend to become this city’s next gym leader, and I was thinking about entering.”

“That’s unusually spontaneous of you, Natsume, but if you want to try something new, I don’t think there’s any harm in that. Just know what you’re getting yourself into.” “What do you mean by that?” Natsume asked. “The Pokémon league is a powerful industry. They have… How should we say it? Connections. But don’t worry. I don’t think you’ll have too much trouble beating the other trainers that frequent the gym here. Anyway, I need to get some sleep. Good luck this weekend.” Natsume’s father, in reality, knew very little about the workings of the Pokémon League. He was however, relieved to see his daughter finally interested in something. Despite being good at everything she did, Natsume wasn’t interested in anything she did.

The weekend came, and Natsume, with her Alakazam, promptly made her way to Yamabuki’s gym. The trainers there all seemed to be practitioners of Karate, and raised only fighting-type Pokémon. Natsume was pleased to find out the tournament was something she could quickly get over with. And accordingly, she did. As the other trainers enthusiastically shouted commands at their Pokémon, Natsume stood, emotionless; and without speaking, commanded her Alakazam to dispose of the opponents. The last trainer was another Blackbelt, named Koichi.

Before engaging Natsume in battle, he greeted her. “Good afternoon. Natsume, I presume? I’m the current Yamabuki City gym leader, Koichi. I’m looking to retire, but I cannot transfer power to one who is weaker than myself. Are you ready?” “Sure,” Natsume muttered. Like the battles before, this one, too, was profoundly uninteresting. Natsume’s Alakazam was faster than Koichi’s Hitmonlee and Hitmonchan, and easily defeated each of them with one use of Psychic. “Well, that was fast. You are indeed strong. I can only hope that if you someday become powerful, your power is used in good faith. Then, I can retire knowing the light of Yamabuki will be carried on by one who is worthy,” Koichi said humbly. Natsume did feel somewhat guilty for winning so easily, but she still liked being the winner. “Thank you. But I am confused. Where do I go from here?” Natsume asked. “Ah. That’s all part of the fun.” Koichi laughed. “The Pokémon league has a representative here. He will instruct you on the proceedings. Best of luck,” he said, while walking away with dignity.

Not long after, a man in a black suit entered the room. His appearance was very typical of a Salaryman. “Congratulations, Natsume! You’ve passed the first part of the test.” “Yes, I’m Natsume, nice to meet you.” Clearly, she had practiced saying this. After a short pause, she spoke again: “The first part of the test? What’s the second part? And how many parts are there?” “Just two. You’ve shown that you have the potential to become a very strong trainer, but strong trainers are everywhere. Take the gym in Tamamushi, for example. It’s full of them. We need someone who will make a good leader. The next part of your test is more open-ended: you must demonstrate to us -the Pokémon League- your creativity. You can do this in any way you’d like.”

Natsume blushed. Creativity wasn’t one of her strong points. Much of her life had been spent trying to blend in, rather than stand out. The thought of having to do something without being told what to do made her panic. Still, she was determined to try. “H-how long do I have?” She asked. “You have until the end of summer. Don’t feel like you have to use all this time, but don’t feel bad if you do either. Also, we’ll arrange a deal with your school for you to take a break due to these circumstances, so you should have plenty of time.” “The rest is up to you. Bye!” He left. People who were into Pokémon battling didn’t seem to spend much time talking, but Natsume didn’t mind this. She, too, left the gym for home.

Natsume contemplated her new challenge on her walk home. What could she possibly do that was creative? She had used her psychic powers to entertain others when she was younger- maybe this could be adapted to some sort of talent show? No, then she’d be the crazy witch girl again. These were memories she had worked hard to suppress. Given the amount of time she had, Natsume reasoned that she’d be able to pull off something normal. Imite’s mimicking hobby was normal, right? People seemed to think she was cute. She couldn’t just copy her though. Copying the copycat- was that creative? Probably not. Natsume reached her home, hoping her father could give her advice.

“Dad, I’m back, and I won the tournament. But we have now, a much greater problem.” “Well, first, congratulations on winning. But what is this problem you’re so worried about? “Well, I have to do something, anything, to demonstrate my creativity to the Pokémon League by the end of summer. I have not the slightest idea where to start, and I was hoping you could give me advice.” Her father smiled. Natsume wasn’t the type who often asked others for advice. “Oh you had me worried for a second. I thought you were in danger or something. It’s true though, creativity isn’t something that runs in our family. At least my side of the family. Your mother had a thing for painting though.” “Mom? She left when I was very young. Is it wrong for me to ask what happened to her?” “No, in fact, I’m surprised it took you this long. I was starting to think you didn’t care.”

“Your mother, like us, was a psychic. One of her powers though was fairly unique, even among psychics. She was able to see ghosts. You know the Sylph Company, right?” “That big building I walk by every day? I don’t know them, but I know of them.” “Well, they were interested in your mother’s ability to see ghosts. They paid her well, and she helped them design a device to see ghosts. One that anyone could use. I think it’s still under development though. It would be wildly popular with the people here. The ghosts that haunt the outskirts of Yamabuki at night would be a problem no more.” “Okay? And how does that explain Mom’s disappearance?”

“Well, that’s the thing. There are rumors that Sylph has rather close ties to the Rockets, a Yakuza group. Although we can’t be sure of the nature of this relationship. Your mother would’ve proven useful to them. And for such people, getting into an organization like that is much easier than getting out. I suspect your mother was abducted. At least, that’s what I tell myself. It’s much easier for me to reconcile than the thought that she could’ve joined by her own free will,” Natsume’s father said, looking at the ground.

“Free will? Please tell me you don’t believe in that nonsense, Dad. But anyway, couldn’t we get the police involved though, and find her?” “It’s not that easy. Both Sylph and the Rockets have a lot of money. With enough money, you can get away with pretty much anything, Natsume’s father lamented. “I can’t say much more about your mother. She often traveled to a place called Time Island, in the Nanashima Archipelago not too far south of here. There’s a resort there, famous among artists all over the world as a source of inspiration. Hmm, maybe you should take a vacation, Natsume.” “I suppose that might not be a bad idea. These artists though, do I need to pay them to teach me how to paint?” Her father laughed. “That’s not really how it works. They aren’t there to teach you, but perhaps you could learn from them.”

“Okay, and how do I get there?” Natsume asked. “There’s a ship that sails there from Kuchiba. It can take you right to the resort.” “It’s that easy?” “Yeah, there’s not really much to do in Nanashima. It’s mostly just naturalists and Pokémon trainers who go there. People live there too, but life there is much more relaxed than here. “You seem pretty relaxed, Dad. What do you even do for work?” “I play an important role in data entry at Sylph. It’s more exciting than it sounds. We’re working on a project called Porygon2. It’s like Porygon, but better.” “I see. So even without creativity, I could become something great. Anyway, I’ll leave tomorrow morning. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone, but thanks, Dad.”

Early the next morning, Natsume packed her belongings, including Alakazam, and made her way south to Kuchiba. She packed lightly under the presumption that life at a resort wouldn’t be too difficult. She arrived at Kuchiba and boarded the next ferry, which took her directly to the resort not too far away from Time Island. The resort, named Gorgeous Resort was indeed aptly named, but even Natsume couldn’t help but wonder how a place that attracts such creative artists could have such a generic name.

Upon her arrival at the resort, Natsume was greeted by a well-off but kind lady. “Welcome to Gorgeous Resort, I’m Akiho. I hope you enjoy your stay here.” “Um, thanks. I’m Natsume from Yamabuki City. Nice to meet you. I presume you are the owner of this resort?” Natsume wasn’t good at small-talk, so she figured asking a question with an obvious answer was a safe choice. “Well, I inherited this place, but it’s not mine. I make sure it’s maintained properly, but really, it’s for anyone who wants to use it. A lot of artists come here to paint, but we get regular tourists too.”

Akiho continued: “Isn’t the sea inspiring? The ephemerality of the prismatic sunrise flickering off the waves. The clouds coalescing in the crystalline sky, against the contrast of the amorphous sea.” Natsume mostly agreed, but didn’t think the gaseous sky should be compared to a crystal. And couldn’t such an aesthetic be more easily captured by a camera? “Um, yes, it’s really pretty. Actually, that’s why I came here. To be inspired and learn more about painting. Are you an artist, Akiho?” “No, not really. I’m somewhat of a collector though. I’m especially fond of art that depicts natural landscapes. What about you, Natsume?”

“Yes, that sounds nice. I’m sort of new to this though, and I don’t really know much about different types of art. My mother was a painter though, so I thought I’d give that a try.” “I see. Well, maybe you could tell me a little bit about yourself. If you want to.” “I’m a Pokémon trainer, I guess.” A Pokémon trainer was one of the last things she thought of herself as, but understood that it was interesting to other people. “Oh, that’s cool! What type of Pokémon do you like?” Akiho asked. “Powerful ones. I mean, um, I like the psychic type.” “Ah yes, you’re a psychic.” “It’s true, but please don’t fear me. I don’t mean to harm anyone.” “N-No, it’s fine, actually. One of the painters who’s staying here was talking about something like that. Psychic automatism, I think she called it. She tried to explain it to me, but I didn’t really get it. You should talk to her though! I think you two could learn a lot from each other. Her name’s Midori. She’s sitting outside on the beach.”

Natsume made her way outside, and found a girl, definitely a painter, who was calmly gazing out at the sea. “The vampire squid bites itself, hungry for the smell of saltwater. The most horrendous spider weaves a web of moral fabric. The earth shoots back at the stars, but the sun still cools to a hot red.” She muttered to herself. “Um, hi. Are you okay?” Natsume asked. “Oh! I didn’t see you there. I was just thinking out loud, sorry about that. My name’s Midori. Midori le Vert.” Natsume hoped Midori didn’t notice her cringe. “I’m Natsume, nice to meet you. Um, do you like the color green, Midori?” “Green? It’s alright. I don’t particularly like or dislike any colors.” “I see. You mentioned you were thinking out loud just now. Well, what were you thinking about?”

“Nothing! And that’s the point. The mind is responsible for a lot more than thinking, and that’s what inspires my painting. It’s reflected in literature too. Take a look. I got this from a place called Kalos.” Midori withdrew a book from her bag, one that appeared to Natsume to be about magnetic fields. “Magnetic fields? You mean like what forms around a conducting wire when you pass an electrical current through it?” “Huh? No, not at all. Take a look,” Midori said, handing Natsume the book. “These words… they make no sense at all. I could code a script that writes a book like this,” Natsume uttered. “Don’t be so sure about that! I think there’s a lot of meaning to them. This was written using a technique called psychic automatism. I’m trying to practice it myself.”

“Actually, that’s why Akiho said I should talk to you. I told her I was a psychic and she said you’d be interested.” “Eh!? You mean you’re one of those people who can move stuff around with their mind, always forcing the world to bend to your every will? Ugh. I know how people like you work. I bet you’re here to tell me my painting is incorrect, or harm my Pokémon for fun, aren’t you?” Natsume was shocked, but tried to remain calm and answered: “Um, no, it’s really not like that. Actually, I came here because I want to learn more about painting. Akiho said you were interested in psychic powers, but I guess I shouldn’t have said anything.” “No, um, sorry. I overreacted. The type of psychic powers I’m interested in are the type that everyone has. The unconscious mind. I don’t think Akiho really understands it, but that’s okay- a lot of people don’t,” Midori sighed.

“But anyway, what did you want to learn about painting, Natsume?” “Well, everything, actually. I’ve never done it before. This might sound strange, but I’m trying to become a gym leader. And to do that I have to show the Pokémon league that I can be creative. The problem is though, I really can’t.” “A gym leader!? You must like battling Pokémon then. Do you want to?” “I’m okay. I actually don’t like battling that much.” “Good, I don’t either. I just thought I was supposed to ask since we’re both trainers. I have to ask though- if you don’t like battling, why do you want to become a gym leader?”

Natsume paused for a second, having not yet prepared an answer to this most obvious question. “Well, if I’m being honest, I guess it’s because it seemed like a way out. Our society just doesn’t interest me very much, and if my powers can get me out of it, I figure I might as well try.” “Hm. A way out? I can relate,” Midori said, smiling softly. “And Natsume, what drew you to painting? Aren’t there a lot of ways people can be creative?” Natsume paused for a second before answering. “It just felt like it was what I was supposed to do. My mother was a painter, and she visited this place often for inspiration. So I figured I’d come here and see what it was like, if that makes sense.” “Hm, maybe, but not everything has to make sense,” Midori said, smiling again.

“Take me, for example. I bet you’d think I came here to paint pictures of the sea, but that’s not actually true at all. Not far off the coast, there’s a cave called the Cave of no Returns. It’s full of ghosts! Don’t they just fill you with a sense of wonder? Something that can’t be perceived, but can be imagined.” Natsume was startled. “Ghosts? All they do is cause problems. How could you be inspired by those?” Midori laughed. “They’re harmless. They just like to play tricks on people. I think they get bored living forever.” “And how do you know this?” “Ahiko told me. She can see them.” “Akiho can see ghosts? How?” “She has a device that enables her to see them. I’m not sure where she got it, but she has a lot of money so she can do anything,” Midori said bluntly. “Right. I think we should be cautious of her, Midori. I can explain later.”

“Well, you are a psychic, can you see the future, Natsume?” “Hm, no, I can’t. I can make reasonable predictions, but that has nothing to do with being a psychic.” “I see. Now answer me this, Natsume: in the future, will you be able to see the future? It’s a bit of a paradox, isn’t it? Don’t you love stuff like that?” “If I say yes, will you be careful around Akiho?” “Oh that reminds me! Would you like to see a painting I made, Natsume? It’s my interpretation of a ghost.” Natsume was confused. “Oh, so you haven’t seen the ghosts then?” “Akiho offered to show me, but I prefer not to know what they look like. It’s more fun that way.” “I see. Um, yes, I’d love to see your painting, Midori.” “Yay! It’s inside, let’s go.”

Midori led Natsume into her room at the resort, and unveiled her painting. “I call this The Disposed Soma,” Midori said proudly. The painting depicted a black blob with a smiley face and multiple arms. The blob, presumably a ghost, levitated in a room alone. One arm was throwing a lifeless corpse out of a window, while the other was ironing its clothing. “The disposable soma theory is one possible explanation for the process of aging. But ghosts are immortal, and have no need for their bodies. It’s pretty ironic. That’s why there’s an iron,” Midori said, trying hard not to laugh at her own joke.

“That’s… interesting,” Natsume said, trying to hide a slight smile. “I could never come up with something like that.” “Oh, don’t say that! You just need to find something that inspires you. Something you can’t stop thinking about when you’re trying to think about other things. Then the rest just kind of happens naturally. Hm, you like psychic Pokémon, right? How about we take a trip to one’s natural habitat. There are some Hypno that live on one of the islands here. I think you’ll like the sublime beauty of Berry Forest, Natsume.”

“That sounds nice. How do we get there, Midori?” “My Pokémon can fly us there, but first we have to go outside.” The two went outside, and Midori withdrew from her Pokéball, a Smeargle. “This thing can fly?” Natsume asked. “Smeargle learns the move Sketch, which copies any other Pokémon’s move. So I made it learn how to fly. Pokémon are pretty surreal, aren’t they?” “I guess they are. Anyway, let’s go, Midori.” The two grabbed hold of Smeargle’s tail, and flew to Berry Forest, somehow.

The forest was dark, but not threatening. It was thick with life, in fact. It would be a good forest to get lost in; full of succulent berries, sheltering trees, and soft grass. Natsume agreed with Midori’s sentiment. The forest housed an intricate ecosystem, and it did not care at all about what was happening in the high-tech cities of the mainland. The forest did carry with it a sublime beauty; the kind that reminded humans of their insignificance. But even more so, this forest, in particular, was subliminally inviting.

“Well, what do you think? It’s refreshing here, isn’t it?” Midori asked. “Yes. It’s very nice, actually. It’s amazing how different it is from the mainland, even though we haven’t traveled very far. Should we go deeper in?” “Mhm. I can tell you’re changing already, Natsume. Let’s go.” The two continued on, wandering in wonder, until Natsume heard a faint voice. “Did you hear that, Midori?” “Hm? No, I didn’t hear anything.” “Hey! Look up,” the voice said. Natsume glanced up, and in a tree, sat a Venonat. “Oh look, Midori. Up there, there’s a Venonat. It’s communicating with me telepathically.” “Eh? Venonat can do that?” Midori asked. “It has psychic powers, even though it’s a bug, so I can engage it.” “Well, what’s it saying, Natsume?” “I’m not sure, it just started, let me talk to it.”

“Hi, um, wild Venonat. Did you need something?” Natsume asked telepathically. “No, not really. I just sensed your presence and wanted to see what it was. What brings you here?” “Nothing, really. Midori and I are just taking a walk. I’m from the city, and I wanted to experience the natural world.” “Heh, you’re not very good at lying through telepathy,” The Venonat said. “I can tell you’re looking for something, maybe I can help you find it.” “I guess you’re right. I am looking for something, but it’s not something physical. I’m in search of inspiration. Something I can do to be creative.” “Why be creative? Isn’t it enough to simply not be destructive?” “Maybe, but I need to show that I’m creative. It’s part of a test.” “Well, I can’t help you with that, but I can show you why Venonats don’t care much for the visual arts. Take a look,” it said.

“What? Ah! I can’t see! What is going on?” Natsume cried. Midori watched as Natsume stumbled to the ground. “Um, are you okay, Natsume?” “No I’m not okay! This Venonat ruined my vision. Everything looks blurry and I’m hyper-sensitive to motion.” “M-Maybe you’re dehydrated, do you want some water? We should get you some rest.” After a few seconds, Natsume’s vision returned to normal. “Wait, I think I’m okay now. I don’t know what just happened, but that Venonat is up to something. Is it still here? There was a Venonat, right?” “Yeah, just now. You said it was talking to you. I don’t see it anymore though, it must’ve run away.” “Are you sure you’re okay? We can go back if you want.” “No. I’m fine. I think we should try to find that Venonat. I think it was trying to tell me something, but something interrupted it.” “Well, as long as you feel okay, Natsume. I’ll continue on with you.” The two ventured deeper into the forest.

“Didn’t you say there were Hypno living in this forest?” Natsume asked. “Ah, yes. I think they mostly come out at night. They feed on the dreams of people and other Pokémon. It’s kind of strange. They’re known for using hypnosis, but they actually prefer victims that fall asleep on their own. I guess it’s easier for them like that. This forest is pretty inviting, but it’s easy to get lost. And it seems like a nice place to sleep too, doesn’t it, Natsume?” “Yeah, I suppose. I know how to get back if we have to though. We just have to keep heading north. Besides, I wouldn’t mind meeting a Hypno. I can communicate with psychic Pokémon easily.” “Keep heading north to get out!? We came from the south. Why would we keep going if we wanted to go back? Natsume, I think we need to get you back to the resort. You seem tired and confused.” “No. I must stay here. There is something I need, Midori.” “We can come back later. What is here that you need anyway? And how can you be suddenly be so sure? We just came here to take a walk, after all,” Midori said. “No. There is something here for me,” Natsume said, somewhat irritated.

“Sorry Natsume, but this is for your own good. Smeargle, use Teleport to take us back to the resort!” The world started to shimmer, and the two returned home to the resort. “What just happened? Natsume asked.” “Um, Natsume, sorry, but I think you need some rest.” “What do you mean Midori? I feel like I just woke up.” “What do you mean? We’ve been awake all day. Natsume, what’s the last thing you remember?” “We were just in Berry Forest. Then we found a wild Venonat, and I tried to talk to it through telepathy. Now we’re back here.” “That’s all you remember? After we saw the Venonat, you said something about your vision going bad. But then it went back to normal and we kept going. Don’t you remember?” “No, not at all,” Natsume said, puzzled.

“Natsume, please stay here and get some rest. Have some water too. I think you must’ve gotten dehydrated while we were walking in the forest.” “I feel fine, but I can stay here if you want me to. Were you going somewhere?” “I’m going to find Akiho. To see if we have any cold medicine, or something to help you.” “A-Akiho… be careful, Midori.” “Don’t worry about me. Just get some rest. I’ll be back soon.” Not long after Midori left, Natsume fell asleep and began to dream.

“Hello Natsume,” a familiar voice said. “It is I from before, Venonat.” “Venonat! Yes, I remember meeting you in Berry Forest. Why did you follow me all the way back here?” “Oh, I just wanted to talk.” “About what?” Natsume asked. “I don’t know. What did you want to talk about? You’re the one who brought me here after all. “What? I don’t understand. Anyway, since you’re here- back in Berry Forest, you did something to my vision. What was that?” “Oh, that. I wanted to show you what the world looked like through my eyes. My compound eyes. It looks a lot different, doesn’t it? Even though it’s the exact same thing.” “Yes, but why?” “Well. Because humans need to know that the world doesn’t belong to them. It is my hope that by showing them things through my eyes, they will understand that their perception of reality isn’t the only one. And this should humble them, and stop them from destroying our habitats in their own selfish interests. I know what happens in the future, and humans don’t make it better.”

“I am confused,” Natsume said. “How can you see the future? And why are you telling this to me specificially?” “I can’t see the future, but I met a trainer on these islands who has a Xatu, and it told me,” The Venonat answered. “What did it tell you, how the world ends?” “It can’t see all the way into the future, just partway into it. It didn’t really tell me much. Just that humans make things worse. About your second question: I didn’t single you out specifically, you came to talk to me. I just did what I’d do to any human. Besides, Midori’s the one who told you to talk to me in the first place. Perhaps it’s her fault you’re going crazy.” “That’s not true! We were walking and you started talking to me. And I’m not going crazy, what do you mean?” “You’re memory isn’t very good, is it, Natsume?” “My memory is fine! I’m at the top of my class in school and I don’t even apply myself.” “Believe whatever you want. If you believe something strongly enough, it may as well be true. Oh, she’s back. I have to go.” Natsume then woke up, feeling refreshed.

“Oh, good, you’re awake. Do you feel okay?” Midori asked, entering Natsume’s room. “Yeah, I’m fine, really. I took a quick nap here. That’s about it. You said you went looking for Akiho, right?” “Yeah, but I couldn’t find her. She must have taken a walk somewhere. But I’m sure she’ll be back soon.” “Hopefully. Actually, Midori, something strange happened while you were gone. I had a dream, and for the first time, I remembered my dream. I was talking to Akiho in this dream, and she told me to meet her at something called the Memorial Tower tonight. Do you know anything about that? Is that even a real place?”

“Yeah, it’s not too far south of here. We can go there if you want. As long as you feel okay. I think your dream must’ve been your unconscious mind trying to tell you something. Pretty neat, isn’t it?” Midori said cheerfully. “Yeah, well, maybe. How do we get there?” “My Smeargle can fly us to the Pokémon center on Time Island, then we’ll have to walk through a meadow. From there, Smeargle can carry us across the water to the memorial. If we leave now, we can probably make it there before it gets dark. Are you sure you’re up for more traveling?” “Yeah, I’m fine, let’s go.” Smeargle flew the two to Time Island, and they began walking through the meadow as the sun was setting.

“Um, Midori, I have a question.” “Sure, what is it, Natsume?” “Does Akiho come here often?” “I’m not really sure, but I don’t think so.” “I see. We don’t really know much about her, do we?” “I guess not. Other than how she has a device that can see ghosts. She has a lot of money and no one knows where it came from, but she seems nice so I think we can trust her,” Midori said. “That’s the thing. Her device that can see ghosts- it’s a Sylph Scope isn’t it?” “I haven’t heard of that before, so I can’t really say.” “Well, my mom used to work for the Sylph Company, and helped them develop something like that- before she disappeared. They haven’t finished yet though, so it shouldn’t be available to the public. Do you know about a group called the Rockets, Midori?” “I’ve heard of them, sort of, but I don’t think they do much out here.”

“Well, my dad told me that Sylph had some sort of deal with the Rockets, so I think the only way Akiho could’ve gotten a Slyph Scope would be by working with them. Akiho didn’t seem that surprised when I told her I was a psychic. Actually, it almost seemed like she knew who I was. Then she sent me straight out to meet you, Midori.” “Hm. Do you think Akiho knows your mother?” “It might be possible. Maybe she’ll tell us something tonight.” The two continued on, until they came across an old, abandoned warehouse.

“Oh, what’s this?” Natsume asked. “Just an old warehouse, as far as I know. A long time ago, it was a resort too, like the one we’re staying at. But it went out of business and no one really has any use for it,” Midori answered. “Can we go in?” “Sure, I don’t think it’s locked. We can go explore for a bit if you want.” The warehouse was dark and empty. There wasn’t really anything interesting inside, but the two wandered in anyway, both wanting there to be something interesting inside. “You’re right, there’s really not much in here. It’s kind of sad to think that this used to be a nice resort, and now it’s just this big empty space. Oh well, I guess we should continue on before it gets dark,” Natsume said.

“It’s always dark where I come from,” a mysterious voice said calmly. “Ah! What was that?” Natsume shrieked. “Ooh, I don’t know. Maybe it was ghost,” Midori said playfully. “It was you, wasn’t it? Well, you got me, but I think we should go. My unconscious mind is telling me we’re running late.” “She cannot exit, she does not exit,” the voice said again. Down from the high ceiling, appeared a girl, dressed like a ninja.

“Hi, I’m Anzu. I’ve been tracking you two through this meadow. I think we share a common goal. I can help, but first we have to have a Pokémon battle Natsume!” “Oh, another ninja. What happens if I decline your battle request?” “Then I’ll take all your money! That sounds pretty immoral, doesn’t it? But I have the entire Pokémon League backing me, so it’s not!” “Fine. I dislike battling, but if you wish, I will show you my powers, I guess.”

“Good, good. Unleash your anger on me. We ninja use poison-type Pokémon. The type that represents filth in a world you psychics take so much pleasure in keeping clean and orderly. It would seem I’m at a disadvantage, wouldn’t it?” “How can you tell I’m a psychic?” “By the way you dress! You really need to change your wardrobe.” “Likewise,” Natsume retorted.

Natsume sent out her Alakazam, and Anzu a Drapion- a Pokémon Natsume had not seen before. “Alakazam, Psychic,” Natsume told it telepathically. “Heh. That won’t work, Drapion’s part dark-type,” Anzu snided. “Dark-types? I don’t think we have those where I’m from,” Natsume said, knowing her downfall was imminent. “Dark-types are like ghosts, but scarier. The pure embodiment of might is right mentality. They reinforce the concept of dualism more than any other type and are completely illogical. So your psychic attacks won’t work! Now Drapion, hit that Alakazam with a Night Slash,” Anzu called out. With one hit Alakazam was defeated, and Natsume had lost the battle.

“This is the first time I’ve ever lost a battle,” Natsume said, shaken. “Well, I’ll keep my word. You two are here tracking down the Rockets, aren’t you?” Anzu asked. “I don’t know why I came here,” Natsume replied. “Natsume, are you okay? We came here because Natsume was visited by a lady in a dream, who told her to come to the Memorial Tower,” Midori interjected. “You remember that, right, Natsume?” “I don’t remember, but we can go there if you want.” “Oh, maybe we don’t share a common goal after all,” Anzu said.

“The truth is, I fear my father may be involved with the Rockets. I heard a rumor that their leaders were meeting at the old resort here, so I wanted to come spy on them. I haven’t seen anyone here though aside from you two. Maybe they meant the other one. Oh well, I’ll leave you two alone. For now, I must return to the shadows,” Anzu said, running out of the warehouse.

“Um, sorry you lost, Natsume,” Midori said softly. “Oh, I lost? What did I lose?” Natsume asked. “That battle just now…” “Yes, but I lost much more than that, didn’t I? My memory, it’s fading. Or not fading, but rather changing.” “What do you mean?” “You said Akiho came to me in a dream and told me to go to the Memorial Tower, Right? Well, I don’t remember having a dream like that at all anymore. But I do remember a dream where I was talking to a Venonat. The same one we met in Berry Forest. It told me my memory was going bad, and I’m starting to think it may have been right.” “Well, that was just a dream, wasn’t it?” Midori asked. “I don’t know. It might’ve been. Or maybe I was talking to it in my sleep. I remember being lucid. Or maybe I’m remembering something that never happened at all.”

“Well, do you feel okay to continue on to the Memorial Tower? We’re not too far away, and it’s a nice sight,” Midori said. “Yeah, I feel fine. Maybe if we go there, I’ll remember why I wanted to go there. Just now though, that was the first time I’ve heard of the Memorial Tower.” “But when I mentioned your dream, you remembered Akiho, didn’t you, Natsume?” “Hm. I guess you’re right, Midori. Maybe there is something important there. Maybe I remember more than I remember.” “Alright, let’s go then. We’ll have to cross the water here, but my Smeargle can help us with that too.” The two hopped on Smeargle’s back, and began crossing the sea.

“I was thinking, Natsume- isn’t it kind of funny how a Pokémon like Smeargle -just an artist- can be so practical? Yet a strong Pokémon like yours is really only good for entertaining children. Don’t feel too bad about losing to Anzu; it’s just one battle.” “It’s fine. I think losing is an important experience too. I guess I really do need to learn more about Pokémon battling though. Maybe I’ll teach Alakazam some new moves, or try to catch some more Pokémon.” “You mean you’ve won all your past battles by only using one move?” Midori asked. “Um, yeah, Psychic is pretty powerful. I guess I need to extend my horizons a bit.” “Weren’t you trying to become a gym leader, Natsume?” “I guess. Not that hardly though. Besides, there’s more to being a gym leader than battling. I don’t really know what the other part is, but that’s the part I’d want to focus on. Oh, look at that! On the horizon, something extending into the sky.” “That’s the Memorial Tower. We’re almost there, Natsume!” “I’m glad. The two of us being pulled through the ocean by Smeargle at night doesn’t feel very safe.”

The stone obelisk protruded into the sky, but at its base, sat a Venonat. “Oh, Midori, it’s that Venonat from Berry Forest. The one that came to me in my dream.” “Do you want to try to talk to it? Please be careful, Natsume.” “It’s fine. I don’t think it means any harm. I have a lot of questions to ask it,” Natsume said, somewhat nervous. “Okay, well, I’ll come with you to make sure you don’t get hurt. Isn’t it nice here? It’s so calm and peaceful.” “For now, yes.”

“Oh, I remember you from Berry Forest. What brings you here?” The Venonat asked. “I don’t remember actually, but I saw you sitting here, and wanted to talk. Back in Berry Forest, when you imposed your vision on me- I would like to see that again. When I fell to the ground. It was over before I could process what was happening, and I don’t want to forget what it looked like,” Natsume said. “I’m not quite sure what you’re talking about.” “What do you mean!?” “I remember talking to you before. You said something about looking for inspiration for your painting, and I was about to tell you that there was a nice pond a little ways further along the trail. But then you fell to the ground and cried out for help. I got startled and ran away,” the Venonat said, slightly confused.

“Well, what brings you to this monument, then?” Natsume asked. “My eyes. They look like they’d be compound eyes, but they’re not actually what you would expect an insect like me to have. They’re radar detectors! This monument gives off a very strong signal, but I don’t know what it’s doing. Maybe someone’s using it to look for something, but I don’t know what. Probably not whatever it’s a monument to though, because that should be right beneath it,” the Venonat said.

“Looking for something but you don’t know what. I know how that feels. Venonat, can you actually do that thing- the thing where I see the world through your eyes? I want to see what radar looks like.” “How do you know about that? Yes we can do that since we both have psychic powers. Are you ready?” The Venonat began focusing, and Natsume’s eyesight was suddenly replaced by a radar scanner. “Ah! This is so different from before. I don’t know if this can even be called vision. Natsume stumbled slightly, then turned her gaze out to the ocean. “Far out at sea, something small is getting closer. Midori, can you see anything?” “No, nothing but the vast, empty sea,” Midori answered. “I think something is coming for us, Midori. I don’t know what it is, but it looks ominous.” “What does it look like, Natsume?” “Like everything else, but more ominous.” “Don’t worry too much. There are a lot of ships out at sea. It’s probably just carrying some goods from the mainland.” Suddenly, Natsume’s vision returned to normal.

“Venonat!? Where did you go?” Natsume cried out internally. “Look up,” the Venonat’s familiar voice said. “A nice lady who came by here earlier left a piece of candy on the ground. I was getting hungry so I decided to eat it. I guess I was close to evolving. I don’t have radar-vision anymore, sorry.” Natsume looked out to sea, and indeed there was nothing. “Venomoth… You said something about a nice lady who came here earlier. What was she doing?” “I’m not sure, but it looked like she was inspecting this monument for something. She connected some electronic device to it, then a submarine picked her up and she left,” the Venomoth said. “A submarine? Is that what I saw coming toward us? Midori… I think we’ve fallen into a trap.”

“A trap? N-no. I came back because I forgot to turn this thing off. I guess you girls are probably wondering what this is.” Natsume and Midori both recognized the voice as Akiho, who appeared from the shore. “It might sound strange, but this monument- it’s actually scanning for extraterrestrial life. It turns out though, we have a visitor right here on one of these islands! So we won’t be needing this for now.” “You mean there’s an alien here!? Why were you looking for stuff like that? And how did you manage all by yourself?” Midori asked. “I can explain,” Akiho said calmly.

“This planet may not be around forever. We wanted to know if there was any life in outer space to see if it was habitable. And if so, what was it like? The visitor seems to have just arrived and we don’t know anything about it yet, so we’re going to focus our efforts on understanding that first. This scanner is pretty expensive to operate.” “When you say “We,” who do you refer to?” Natsume asked. “A group of underground scientists from the mainland. They call themselves the Rockets,” Akiho answered. “So Natsume was right! You do work for them!” Midori exclaimed. “No, no, it’s not like that. They work for me. The few I hired at least. Regular scientists would never be ambitious enough to take on a project like this. Besides, they’re not all bad, either. Remember when the giant Tentacruel attacked the mainland? The Rockets were the first ones to offer help, before the government could do anything. As the saying goes, it is sometimes good to hold a candle to the devil.”

Natsume and Midori stared blankly at Akiho, having never heard that saying. “A-anyway, we can talk later, if you girls want to know more. Just please try to keep this a secret, okay? I’ll be back at the resort,” Akiho said, boarding her submarine.

“Well, that was certainly strange, wasn’t it? But kind of cool too! There’s an alien from outer space visiting nearby,” Midori said, her face gleaming. “Yes, very strange. Nothing really seems to make sense, does it, Midori?” Midori nodded. “You don’t trust Akiho, do you?” “Well. I think she means well. But I don’t think things will end well. This alien- what if it’s here to harm people? Not long after I came to these islands, I began feeling a strange, malevolent presence. Then my dreams, my memories- they started changing. They’re all connected, but I’m not sure how exactly. I came to this memorial because of a dream I don’t remember. But Akiho was in it, and then she shows up too. Then she nonchalantly tells us an alien invasion has begun. What if I’m being possessed by that alien? Or what if I’m an alien too. That Venonat told me I was going crazy. Maybe it was right after all.”

Midori smiled. “Don’t think like that, Natsume. All that stuff sounds pretty normal to me. I’m a Surrealist, remember? I think you’re quickly becoming one of us.” “The unconscious mind, that’s right. Maybe it’s more real than I thought. Remember when we were in Berry Forest? I had a vision that I was viewing the world through the compound eyes of an insect. I visualized something I had never seen before. But I didn’t do it on purpose. It just happened. Everything looked different, but everything was the same. And just now, I could see radio waves. It wasn’t a shock to me though. It’s like my brain was pre-programmed to perceive them, even if my eyes weren’t supposed to. I’m starting to wonder what’s real and what’s an illusion, Midori.”

Midori paused for a second, then answered. “It doesn’t really matter, does it?” “What do you mean?” Natsume responded, confused. “Take this monument for example. Whoever built it could’ve written anything about the Onix buried underneath. Whatever’s written here- it doesn’t change the reality of the past. But our reality is shaped more by what’s written here than the reality of the past. Just like memories of dreams, Natsume.” “I guess that makes sense. Actually, I never really got a chance to appreciate this monument. It’s quite nice.”

“Yeah, it’s peaceful. In a sort of morbid way. Like marine snow. Death which brings new life.” Midori said, trying to comfort Natsume. “How does this monument bring new life, Midori?” “It’s searching for aliens!” “But what if the aliens just bring more death?” “Well, let’s hope that doesn’t happen. But if it did, who would build monuments for us?” “The ghosts...?” Natsume spoke as though she were trying to make up an answer, but didn’t actually have to try very hard. “See! They’re not so bad after all, Natsume.” “I guess it depends what they write on the monuments,” Natsume said, laughing.

“So, does this place inspire you to paint, Natsume? Because it inspires me. Wasn’t that why you originally came here anyway?” “Not at all, actually. I’ve changed my mind. Or maybe my mind has changed me. I don’t really know anymore. Either way, art isn’t the only way to be creative. I’ve decided I want to turn my gym into a research institute. A place where people from all over the world can come to study the unconscious mind. Surely that’s more creative than painting a picture of the ocean, right?” “Mhm,” Midori said, smiling warmly. “Unless of course the picture had flying whales in it.”

“That sounds like a great idea though, Natsume. But will the Pokémon League like it?” “Well, I can only hope. Actually, if they don’t, I think I’ll do that anyway and abandon becoming a gym leader. I’m not sure exactly how I’d go about doing it in that case, but those are details that can be worked out later. Maybe Akiho could help, she has eccentric interests and a lot of money. Or maybe the Rockets. I don’t think they’re really so bad. My mother joined them, after all.” Midori looked at Natsume inquisitively.

“M-Midori… How would you like to come back to Yamabuki City with me and help me set up the institution? You clearly know more about this stuff than I do.” “That sounds like fun, I’d love to!” Midori responded. “I knew you would. Let’s return to the mainland tomorrow morning. I’ll give the Pokémon league my answer and we’ll see how it goes from there.” Smeargle teleported the two back to the resort and they promptly when to bed.

“You’re lucky the moon wasn’t out tonight. That’s when bad things always happen,” a voice said inside Natsume’s head. “Or at least for us Venomoth. We always fly toward the light. Can you imagine if I flew to the moon, and landed in the ocean? It’s quite the sinister trap, isn’t it?” “Um, why are you telling me this?” “Just a premonition I had. You need my infinite wisdom, don’t you? You’re chasing something you’ll never see again, and with your memory, that probably won’t work out very well. I remember it perfectly though, even after I’ve evolved. Can I come back with you too? You’ll need more than one Pokémon if you want to become a gym leader anyway, right?” “Yeah, sure. I guess that’s fair. I think I’m supposed to catch you in a Pokéball or something, but I didn’t bring any with me.” “That’s alright, we’re all about bending the rules here,” the Venomoth said.

The next morning Natsume and Midori quickly said goodbye to Akiho and made their way back to the Yamabuki gym to meet with the Pokémon League representative. Natsume was quite relieved to say goodbye.

“Oh, back already?” The representative asked. “I’ve come up with an answer for your test,” Natsume said. “I’m going to turn this gym into a research institute. A place to study the unconscious mind. My journey was short, but I learned a lot. The mind can perceive reality in ways that we can’t imagine reality. Everyone has psychic powers, after all. I want this gym to be a place where anyone can come and develop theirs. Whether through art, writing, or just talking. Or bending spoons if we need to do something dumb to bring in money. I want this gym to become a place dedicated to uncovering surreality. My friend Midori’s here to help too. She’s a painter. I also caught this Venomoth, although I don’t remember when exactly. Or why. I guess it’s a nice souvenir from Nanashima. I’ll get more Pokémon later.”

“Well, I don’t understand it, but that sounds creative enough for me,” The man said. “There was actually a third part of the test, but you seem to have answered it already?” “Oh?” Natsume asked. “We were going to ask what you planned on turning the gym into, but it seems you’ve already come up with something. We like to keep gym leaders on their toes, but we won’t need to worry with you. It’s almost like you can see the future or something. Well, will you accept the offer, Natsume?”

“I’ll accept, but on one condition. I’d like to be known as Morgane from now on. At least as a gym leader.” “Uh, sure, whatever. Welcome aboard, Leader Morgane,” the representative said. Midori blushed and gave a slight smile. “Great! I can’t wait to get started. What am I supposed to do now?” Natsume asked. “We’ll contact you shortly, don’t worry for now. We’ll set you up. I’ll leave this place to you two for now though. Bye!”

The man made his way to the Sylph headquarters. Upon reaching the top floor, he removed his disguise and dawned his ninja garb. “Sakaki, I have returned. She’s one of us now, the psychic. She’s going mad in pursuit of something that isn’t real. I think we’ll soon be able to use her powers for anything we want.” “Good. As long as she thinks what she’s doing is good. Whatever it is, I hope she laps it up like an animal,” Sakaki said, maniacally stroking the Persian on his lap. “Well done, Kyō. Our empire grows. We’re lucky though. I think she was just starting to develop her ability to see the future. That would’ve made this a lot harder.” “Indeed. Don’t thank me though. This was all the good work of my Hypno. I wasn’t sure what would happen when you try to hypnotize a psychic.”

And so there it stood, a Hypno; swinging its pendulum. The string that pulled all the strings. But not the strings that made up fundamental particles. Only Arceus could do that, and Arceus was not here today. Deoxys was though. It would seem as though the stars had aligned for the Rockets, but this syzygy was eclipsed by something with a very different kind of Cosmic Power. For Deoxys, tucked away on Birth Island, brought with it anything but birth.

 

[System Error]

All right then! The gates have opened and it's on! And you're up first! As I said I would review everything I could independently of being a judge, I'm here!

- Okay first and foremost. Why? Using the Japanese names for the sake of it is extremely confusing anyway, even with an explanation given.
- At least Imite is self-explanatory, even without the explanation about who she is.
- Well yes of course she'd agree no matter what. That's what she does! Though, am interested. How'd this older teen meet this kid?
- I guess she used her psychic powers to brainwash everyone into forgetting so she could also hide them? Because people wouldn't forget what she'd already done. Pretty pertrubing.
- Huh. Shoutouts to trade evolutions, the gamey mechanic that it is?
- Aalakazam <- Typo
- No paragraph breaks in between speakers?
- Giving a logical explanation as to why ghosts are super effective on Psychic, besides the "too scared to focus" bit. Nice,
- Uh, well, this technically goes against canon. Saffron already had a Gym Leader. Remember? The Fighting Dojo was the original Gym, before Sabrina showed up and trashed them. For no good reason despite the fact she didn't like to fight. Okay, that's poorly written in canon, but still!
- This is indeed a bizarre way of recruiting Gym Leaders. Don't think there's anything about it though, and well, interesting for the story there's a shadow government or something manipulating everything.
- Pokémon league <- Inconsistent capitalization. There's a few other instances of this, won't bother to mention them all.
- Damn. Wrote that bit about the league being a shadow government before seeing this paragraph, but guess you really are going with them being pretty much just that.
- Oh, I guess you are going with the fighting dojo assault explanation. Uh, how'd no one do this before?
- a Salaryman. <- I don't think this is supposed to be capitalized...
- Well Sabrina is almost done with school anyway, so don't know why they have to pull strings like that.
- Like the subtle allusion to a certain teenage witch.
- Copying the copycat- was that creative? <- Well, according to one famed mimic, it is.
- You know the Sylph Company, right? <- No, but I do know the Silph Company.
- Also, hey. Explaining their scope, I guess. Which...was a weird one-time game thing that never made a lot of sense in other games.
- So you call them a Yakuza group, but they're not Rocket-dan? Well, close enough without calling them a team, I guess.
- Ahh the pains of capitalism and corporate lawyers.
- Kind of abrupt to go from the thought about her mother to "oh hey go take a vacation"
- Okay, so what's confusing me is, her dad talks all this trash about Silph, and their supposed ties to the Rockets and whatnot. Now it turns out he actually works for them. Wouldn't he have some sort of connections or knowledge in the company, then? From the earlier paragraphs, it comes across he's on the outside of the company looking in.
- Lots of uses of 'resort' in a short period of time...
- Okay man this no paragraph breaking between speakers is getting really awkward by now.
- I see Sabrina's reputation still manages to preceed her. Which just raises more questions.
- Some gothic as all hell rambling.
- "Everyone has psychic powers! They just don't realize it yet." Very interesting take on that with the unconscious mind part.
- It always confused me why Sabrina is a Gym Leader despite not liking battling. But I suppose the part about the shadow government explains it adequately. Being an outlet also helps that explanation.
- Cave of no Returns <- No should be capitalized. And pluralar? It makes it sound more like a store with horrific but honest customer service.
- I thought Sabrina could see the future? At least, a few trainers in her Gym could, maybe be misremembering. Know at least two there did though - one saying you'll have an epic battle with her, and the other who said there was a white light in your player character's future.
- That painting is. Not gonna lie. Pretty insane.
- lol. shoutouts to sketch nonsense
- Oh huh, is this when she gets her conspicuously present Venomoth?
- “What just happened? Natsume asked.” <- Quotation error
- Pretty insane that something that isn't even a Psychic type can do something like this. I mean I guess it is a bug type but still.
- “I don’t know. What did you want to talk about? You’re the one who brought me here after all. <- Missing end quote.
- This is one self-superior Pokemon who doesn't think they share the world, and is basing everything off one Xatu who may also possibly be prejudiced.
- What in the world? This eventual master class Psychic is having her mind taken advantage of easily by this gnat?
- Not questioning suddenly wanting to go to the tower and in fact outright supporting it? You'd think she'd ask more questions...
- So just because Akiho's nice and rich you trust her? I mean you probably can, but it seems like a one-way ticket to stranger danger otherwise.
- Obvious where this is going, but I'm surprised Sabrina hasn't caught on yet. Also no, you didn't tell her, she just assumed you were psychic based on training Psychic types.
- Maybe it was ghost <- Typo
- WOW. Stealing all your money? That is rude. Sponsered theft by the shadow government. It makes you wonder who the real heroes and villains are between the League and the Rockets.
- That was a really abrupt fight, indeed, as advertised. Maybe too much.
- Anzu? Oh, Janine. Damn you and your arbitrary use of Japanese names! But, shoutouts to Adventures connections?
- Ah, the hypomessing from the bug type is wearing off.
- Well heh. Psychic can be abused a bunch in-theory if going all out. Why use anything else when you can stop the enemy from doing anything and slam it around? Questions like this are the bane of logical battle writers.
- The plot thickens. It wasn't the bug after all?
- The bug with psychic powers, of course.
- It's like everything else, but more omnious. How descriptive, Sabrina.
- Okay, this is the most amusing use of Rare Candy (actually one of the only uses) I've seen in a fic. Using it to make a Pokemon evolve and thereby stop it from using abilities found only in its earlier form. Genius.
- Akiho's appearance is really abrupt, and no one really reacts to her appearing.
- Well this is a bizarre mishmash of things. We have game Sabrina, seemingly. The giant Tentacruel from that one anime episode. And it's implied this is manga Rockets. I approve.
- I’m a Surrealist, remember? <- Is it a proper title?
- Radio waves, aliens, Deoxys...
- Giving Sabrina's Gym an actual purpose like several future Gyms do too, huh? Neat.
- This has nothing to do with the Wind Fish or spaceships, Midori.
- Or bending spoons if we need to do something dumb to bring in money. <- Says the person who literally actually did this.
- I guess the turning the gym into a thing was an actual required thing too.
- Morgane though? What's that all about? I thought it might've been a reference to her movie alter ego, but it's not that in either Japanese or English. French, from the looks of it. But I ask, why? Except maybe her going insane as implied by...
- And the twist at the end I should've seen coming given the Adventures reference, it was all just one big setup, her dancing in the palm of Giovanni's hand. Being lightly pushed into accepting the Rockets, corrupting her, and eventually being one of them.
- And hey! The ability to see the future is in after all.
- Syzygy? Okay, now you're just very blatantly showing off words you learned.
- Interesting concept of Deoxys of Birth Island seemingly bringing the opposite.

I liked this one. The paragraph speaker spacing thing really threw me off as did the Japanese names (probably missed a ton of unmentioned references), but didn't detract from my enjoyment too much. I'm guessing your theme was something along the lines of "naive girl searching for her place in a conspiracy-laden world where everyone is manipulating everyone" or something to that effect. Liked how you used a couple canon NPCs, neat little touch. And I do like Adventures even though I still need read it someday. Good luck in the contest!

 

[kintsugi]

hey! here for the oneshot comp! kinda just rolling dice at this point; please do not take heed of the order in which these are being posted

There are a lot of concepts here that I think are pretty interesting. Natsume is canonically a really interesting character to me--why is she psychic, how does this change her life and personality, and how did she come to be where she is? She's a solid avenue for exploring right character, wrong genre, and she works as this sort of emotionless detective who slowly gets drawn into a deeper plot without realizing it. Psychics in general were also a good platform for the surrealism/alien/existential angle you were taking with the fic, and I did think those asides were fun to read even outside of the context of this story. Midori was a fun character to bounce around with Natsume, and I liked how you tried to explain Compound Eyes/Tinted Lens with the Venonat; super creative there!

Reading through, this sort of doesn't really like a complete one-shot to me--I'm left with so many questions! What's Sakaki up to? Why are there aliens? What happened to Natsume's mother? A lot of this felt like a collection of experiences/events, almost a summary, but stories usually center around character growth/change: the protagonist should be a noticeably different person than who they came in as. For Natsume I think the arc is mostly there; she's learning about creativity, and other things beyond just beating people back with sheer power. But then there are so many other plot threads that don't really seem to wrap up, or even seem relevant to that central arc. What was the Hypno for? What's up with Deoxys? What really happened to her mother? This almost felt like a first chapter, with a lot of hooks for future development that don't get answered, but in a short story that's nearly 10,000 words, I feel like a lot of the time was spent setting up for these future things instead of answering what was in front of us. The ending felt like it could've used some more time to breathe, or in other words--the scope of this story felt a bit more ambitious than the amount of space it was given.

Pacing-wise, some of the story probably could've been cut on the front or the back to make room for the rest. There were seven main beats for me: Natsume fights for the gym, Natsume travels to Time Island, Natsume and Midori go to Berry Forest, Natsume battles Anzu, Natsume and Midori go to Memorial Island, Natsume declares her purpose + her gym's purpose, wrap-up with Sakaki and Kyo. And that's a lot for a story. By the end, was it really important to this specific short story that we know about Natsume fighting Koichi for the gym? If the story had started with her standing in the Berry Forest, musing about how she'd traveled here to find some so-called "creativity", would there have been much substance lost? There's a lot of moving parts and characters in this story and I don't think 10k words was really enough space to flesh them out--characters like her dad, Anzu, and Sakaki feel very bare-bones, to the point that I was wondering why they were even included to begin with.

For me the main confusing issue was the lack of description. The framework of the world here was kind of confusing since it was described so sparsely--a lot of things had to be picked up via dialogue, but the dialogue sometimes felt contradictory:

“Alakazam, Psychic,” Natsume told it telepathically. “Heh. That won’t work, Drapion’s part dark-type,” Anzu snided.

Natsume is speaking telepathically, but Anzu's acting like she also heard it? Canonically I don't think Anzu is psychic, but I wasn't sure if that was what you were trying to imply or if telepathy was just speaking with extra steps.

“Dark-types are like ghosts, but scarier. The pure embodiment of might is right mentality. They reinforce the concept of dualism more than any other type and are completely illogical. So your psychic attacks won’t work! Now Drapion, hit that Alakazam with a Night Slash”

Likewise, this felt very empty--might is right doesn't really seem like dark-types at all, as they canonically rely on trickery and not engaging directly. They don't really seem to embody dualism any more than say, fire/water or fire/ice, and I didn't really follow why they're illogical? Anzu commands her Drapion the same way anyone else commands a Pokemon in this fic, so they didn't seem any less logical than, say, the mind-wiping Hypno or the Venonat.

Which isn't to say that you shouldn't add things to the canon! I think these are really creative ideas and it'd be good to try to flesh them out more. Maybe dark-types are used to physical fighting/fighting dirty, and they want to win at all costs? Dualism could be tied into a deeper study on spirituality, which would work with the surrealism themes you were poking at in this work, and from there you could build out the illogical aspect as well. I just don't think that this is a topic that could be adequately covered in so few sentences--there needed to be more behind these concepts than just saying they're so.

And this sparse description carried over to the characters/dialogue exchanges as well--for example:

“I think something is coming for us, Midori. I don’t know what it is, but it looks ominous.” “What does it look like, Natsume?” “Like everything else, but more ominous.” “Don’t worry too much. There are a lot of ships out at sea. It’s probably just carrying some goods from the mainland.” Suddenly, Natsume’s vision returned to normal.

“Venonat!? Where did you go?” Natsume cried out internally. “Look up,” the Venonat’s familiar voice said. “A nice lady who came by here earlier left a piece of candy on the ground. I was getting hungry so I decided to eat it. I guess I was close to evolving. I don’t have radar-vision anymore, sorry.”

There's quite a bit going on here, but it was pretty hard to understand! It looks ominous? Like what? Like everything else, but more ominous--I noticed that you tagged this as parody, so I wasn't sure if this was the intent here, but it's hard to follow what Natsume's actually seeing, how Midori feels about a psychic telling her there are ominous things coming. Venomoth are nearly five feet tall canonically* so it doesn't really make sense for her to not notice it without her attention being called to it. In general this felt a lot like a transcript of a videogame or movie--the dialogue is interesting to read through, but it's really, really hard to understand what's going on behind it. Visual media have the luxury of having actors or sprites onscreen to depict what the audience should be imagining, but written works like fiction don't have that. The text needs to convey what you want it to convey, and here, a lot of it is mostly just talking heads. How does Veno(nat)moth feel about evolving? What do they look like now? How does Natsume react to the idea of ominous ships coming? How does Midori? Without written description, these bits feel very bare, and it's hard to follow what's supposed to be happening.
*(and if they aren't in your canon, that's fine! but there's no mention of any differences so I sort of had to assume)

Description mostly takes two forms--internal and external. Internal describes how characters feel/react/think (things that go on mostly inside of their heads); external describes settings, action, places, and physical events. I wanted to briefly walk through both of these instances.

“I’m going to turn this gym into a research institute. A place to study the unconscious mind. My journey was short, but I learned a lot. The mind can perceive reality in ways that we can’t imagine reality. Everyone has psychic powers, after all. I want this gym to be a place where anyone can come and develop theirs. Whether through art, writing, or just talking. Or bending spoons if we need to do something dumb to bring in money. I want this gym to become a place dedicated to uncovering surreality.

Internally--this was sort of the climax of Natsume's story here! She's finally working through all the interesting things she's learned on her adventure. But how does she actually feel about this? Is she nervous about being viewed by others? Bored because she thinks she's better than them? Excited to share what she's learned? There's some clues to glean in the dialogue but they're hard to follow, and again kind of contradictory with what we've learned previously in the story (for example, if everyone has psychic powers, then her early statement about how psychics were meant to be the masters of mankind doesn't make sense).

The forest was dark, but not threatening. It was thick with life, in fact. It would be a good forest to get lost in; full of succulent berries, sheltering trees, and soft grass. Natsume agreed with Midori’s sentiment. The forest housed an intricate ecosystem, and it did not care at all about what was happening in the high-tech cities of the mainland. The forest did carry with it a sublime beauty; the kind that reminded humans of their insignificance. But even more so, this forest, in particular, was subliminally inviting.

Oh, look at that! On the horizon, something extending into the sky.” “That’s the Memorial Tower. We’re almost there, Natsume!” “I’m glad. The two of us being pulled through the ocean by Smeargle at night doesn’t feel very safe.”

The stone obelisk protruded into the sky, but at its base, sat a Venonat.

Externally--understanding where your story is taking place is really important. I liked the first description since it helps set the mood here. The forest doesn't care about the high-tech people who live in towns. It's a very primal, ancient feeling, and I liked that you deviated from the normal idea that forests are just lots of trees. The second description is a lot harder for me to wrap my head around, and all we really can see about Memorial Tower is that it protrudes into the sky (which we get twice). Does it look strange to Natsume, or familiar? What's the weather like? How far are they from the ocean? You don't really have to answer all of these questions, but they can be useful in setting up a specific mood that you want--similar to how the sheltering trees and soft grass make the forest seem familiar instead of threatening.

Grammatically--mostly solid here! Not many typos. I ended up documenting raw spelling/grammar checks here since it was faster/easier to annotate; let me know if you want edit access/to which email that should be granted. One thing that would really, really help is spacing out a new paragraph if someone new is talking--see the doc for references for how that would look.

“Yeah, it’s peaceful. In a sort of morbid way. Like marine snow. Death which brings new life.” Midori said, trying to comfort Natsume. “How does this monument bring new life, Midori?” “It’s searching for aliens!” “But what if the aliens just bring more death?”

“Take this monument for example. Whoever built it could’ve written anything about the Onix buried underneath. Whatever’s written here- it doesn’t change the reality of the past. But our reality is shaped more by what’s written here than the reality of the past. Just like memories of dreams, Natsume.”

Closing note--I really liked these themes but wasn't sure where they tied into the rest of the fic. Natsume's takeaway is that she wants to spend more time studying, which I agree with! It'd be interesting to see these fleshed out in more detail, but they kind of get mentioned here and then dropped off pretty quickly.

Overall thoughts--lotta creative ideas here, and some clever ways of taking canon characters. I wish there was a bit more description to ground things, and maybe a bit could be cut in favor of fleshing out the aforementioned creative ideas. Best of luck to you in the comp!

 

[Daren]

Some very interesting ideas in this story. Sabrina not only being a Gym leader but one who drove another local leader out always seemed strange for someone who claims they don't like battling, so seeing a story that addresses that was nice.
Also giving an origin to her random Venomoth!

The Pokémon League comes across as rather sinister though I find that idea pretty easy to buy considering the Kanto E4/Champion are--as far as I recall--the only one that doesn't do anything relating to the local crisis.

Sabrina being connected to Team Rocket is apparently an Adventure story element so I can't say much about it, though a Psychic being hypnotized causing her strange memory lapses is a cool idea.

Good luck in the contest.

 

[Aozora]

Thanks for the feedback, everyone, it's much appreciated. Will try to answer any questions anyone had soon

 

[Rainfall]

Hi Aozora!

This was a curious path for Natsume’s introduction into her role and work. Here’s my response in the form of some notes with a few questions! I’m trying to write my responses before reading other reviews, but I might still have been influenced by snippets I have seen!

This story looks like it incorporated some elements from the core games, the anime, and the manga! A mish-mash is interesting. There are also different references to seemingly disparate ideas – I have little idea what surreal automatism is, for example! I enjoyed the flow of the expository paragraphs. It’s a very tranquil setting of the scene.
Looks like this is a dialogue-driven story! Perhaps a few more cues could be provided between conversation lines? This does keep the story moving, though, and separate paragraphs for each line might actually make the flow harder to follow!
The memory issues and hallucination issues are a neat concept, and seem executed fairly well! I’d be a poor evaluator of that, though, but I’m sure there are so many ways it could be done poorly, but this definitely added to the story.
I do feel that Natsume gives me a little whiplash, in her fleeting motivations! Of course, it fits her youthful blank slate personality, when chancing upon the opportunity to become a gym leader, to do what many people do, which is take concrete steps while trying to find her place in the world. Her latest idea of setting up a her upcoming gym as a research facility is a nice touch.
Overall, I’m a bit dense, and I’m not sure I caught the meta of what this story is structured on!
I’m very curious about what The Disposed Soma represents! Perfect little mystery imagery in a work.
I’m also curious why Anzu thinks dark types “reinforce the concept of dualism” : o
The Deoxys bit, inverting the positive connotation of birth, is a good touch to the piece! I do wonder if I’m missing some Pokemon knowledge regarding Deoxys, because it does feel like a little bit a Gainax-y reference? (Perhaps I’m overthinking that.) Perhaps it’s simply to describe how Natsume is entering the professional world in a twisted way, in which case it’s perfect.
Finally, this note. Reality is shaped by what is written – that is powerful.

Here are a few things I was a bit bothered by—

- I’m curious why Natsume doesn’t seem so bothered by newly revealed info as to why her mother is not around, and to the possibility that she was removed from her family against her will.
- Additionally, even though he cares about his wife, Natsume’s father clearly considers a possibility that Slyph may have taken his wife from him—and yet, he’s able to continue working there and suppress his doubts, in part aided by his dedication to his research work. Perhaps this isn’t so hard to expect, actually!

- Small thing: Natsume packed her belongings, including Alakazam – perhaps she isn’t very attached to her main and only Pokemon, and doesn’t quite see it as a sentient partner? Or perhaps it’s typical vernacular, since the Pokemon _does_ reside in a Pokeball, most of the time!
- Another small thing – in telepathically speaking to Venonat, Natsume addresses it with “Hi, um, wild Venonat.” Perhaps she was addressing it from the typical trainer’s perspective – Pokemon are wild, or under the wing of a trainer. From the Venonat’s perspective, being wild just is, and being with a trainer is something different.

Here are the fun things I enjoyed!

- Okay, Natsume, just because _you_ don’t think Porygon line research is interesting, doesn’t mean it isn’t! What an unintentional burn on your father’s work! : p
- “Isn’t the sea inspiring? The ephemerality of the prismatic sunrise flickering off the waves. The clouds coalescing in the crystalline sky, against the contrast of the amorphous sea.”
Akiho, oh my wow, I love it!
- “The vampire squid bites itself, hungry for the smell of saltwater. The most horrendous spider weaves a web of moral fabric. The earth shoots back at the stars, but the sun still cools to a hot red.”
I’m sold, Midori. Even when I don’t know what it means. : o

- “Now answer me this, Natsume: in the future, will you be able to see the future?”
Yes, Midori, I like little meta thought considerations like that!
- “Yeah, it’s peaceful. In a sort of morbid way. Like marine snow. Death which brings new life.” Marine snow : o
- “And so there it stood, a Hypno; swinging its pendulum. The string that pulled all the strings.” String pulling strings, what a metaphor : )

More things I enjoyed:
- Midori le Vert – why did Natsume cringe? Seems like a perfectly fine name. Searching… ohh, ahahaha XD
- Yes yes, bending spoons : )
- bend the rules, for getting a Pokeball, haha
- On her work The Disposed Soma: “But ghosts are immortal, and have no need for their bodies. It’s pretty ironic. That’s why there’s an iron” – I plan to never stop appreciating this XD
- “ “How can you tell I’m a psychic?” “By the way you dress! You really need to change your wardrobe.” “Likewise,” Natsume retorted.” - absolutely perfect.
- “Sakaki said, maniacally stroking the Persian on his lap.” Are you even a real mafia boss if you’re not “maniacally stroking” your evil feline companion in tune with your inspirited villainy?

Overall, this was a unique take on Sabrina’s origin story, in a surreal world with multifaceted timbres. I quite enjoyed the little references to art and other concepts and character types!