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Considering leaving the forums

CynthiaLover

Geek of the Games
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After a night of debating it I've decided to bring this issue to the table. It has become apparent that my opinion is not welcome here. There have been many incidents where I have posted my opinion on something only for it to be picked apart like buzzards to a fresh carcass, forcing me to go on the defensive. And yet I rarely see other users get the same treatment. I've been on the receiving end of this quite a few times and I can no longer stay silent about it. I feel like I'm being essentially punished for having an opinion. Especially if said opinion goes against what the masses say. It frankly reminds me of my middle school days, where I was beaten to a pulp every day for the same reason: having an opinion. May I ask why? Do people perceive me as an easy target to bully? Or does everyone feel that my opinion is invalid compared to everyone else's, especially if I go against the grain? This has happened one too many times now and I feel the need to express my feelings about this issue. It's gotten to the point where I don't feel like this "community" is a safe one for me anymore. It was once a sanctuary when I was in the deeper parts of my depression. Now it's starting to feel like I've become target practice again, thus I no longer feel safe nor welcome here. I'm considering leaving these forums if it happens one more time, as it's agitated me to the point my childhood PTSD has been triggering more frequently, causing me to become distressed and anxious. I want it to stop and for people to let me have my opinion without the need to hack it apart, otherwise I'll pack up and leave, both the community and Pokemon itself, because I feel this place has become too inhospitable to me. So, please, just stop and leave my opinions alone. I don't see it as superior to yours, I just see it as my perfectly valid opinion like everyone else's. But several have felt the need to mercilessly tear into it and give me a hard time. If it happens one more time I'll pulling up stake and leaving. That is all.
 

FelipePR

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It's sad that you feel that way about the forum. In my view, you are a very old and important member in this community.

What I can say is that express divergent opinions is not always an easy task, because many times people, and this includes myself, can become too fierce in their personal position and give too much combativeness to other people's opinions. When someone presents an opposing argument, we feel the compelling need to challenge it and invalidate the argument, which often leads to unhealthy discussions. Sometimes we just need to stop, listen or "conform" to the other's position.

Whatever the reaction of others is, it doesn't mean that your opinions and positions are not relevant, much to the contrary. I'm sure many people agree with you and that your arguments are valid, so much that "detractors" feel the need to try to invalidate them. Often when I argue with someone I realize that I'm wrong on several points and that although I don't entirely agree with what the others are saying that doesn't mean they're wrong or that their arguments aren't valid. However, it is difficult to express this, and I often end up acting badly.

If I can give you a hint it is: If any discussion is not doing you well, withdraw from it, there is no shame in it, because what really matters is us and not the validation/invalidation of any argument.

After all, I believe that this forum was built with the intention of bringing people together, uniting them around a common affection, and not the other way around.

I hope you can still find joy in the Pokémon World and in this forum.
 
Last edited:

takoyaki

↑avatar by Blanc♡
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I hope that you'll be able to rise against the people who are being rude to you.
Those people who aren't able to accept different opinions are the ones who should leave, not you.
Your presence here is a good one--I respect you a lot!! You've been here for so long!
I think we've interacted a bit, and you've always been kind, so thank you for being better than the people who bully you.
Your posts about the Digimon video games have made me want to pick it up on my Vita. (I think this weekend!)
Thank you for being you.
I hope you'll continue to spend your time here.
I'm not much of a help, really, with things like this, but I sincerely hope that you'll be able to smile while being here again.
arigatou!
 

Daren

Surprisingly well rehearsed
Joined
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I'm sorry you've been having trouble here lately. That type of pile-on is something that unfortunately tends to happen on the internet and something I've recently tried to become more conscious of and avoid getting involved in.

I hope you feel better soon; I know how that sort of feeling can gnaw at someone.
 

Gengarzilla

"What do you mean, my Gengarite is contraband?!"
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If me or my opinions have ever been a proponent in this ultimatum, then I am so deeply sorry. I know I might come across sometimes as an unyielding sort whenever I'm sharing some of my more divisive thoughts but I've never been actually intending to create discomfort for people who disagree. I feel strongly enough about some views to put them into posts with plenty of force but I'd wouldn't want to hone in one particular person and pick them apart in a lengthy, multiple-quote reply. Honestly, something about doing that just turns the entire discussion a bit too personal for my own liking.
 

ii kanji

Eternally misleading
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I just want to echo that I feel you are a valuable and valued member of the community. No doubt there is plenty we personally don’t agree on, but that’s what makes the forums an interesting place to be! I’m sorry people not been disagreeing with you in a kind and empathetic way and if I have been one of those people then please also accept my apologies. Of course it is ultimately your decision to stay or go, but you should know that you would be missed.
 

Unovia

Author of Pokemon of the Week (Travelin' Dan)
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When I saw this this morning through my phone before I got on my computer, I was deeply saddened. I have seen you as a very valuable member of the community (there was even a period of time that I spent time reading through your posts). I found the insights very wonderful. You are a lovely person.

As a person who deals with emotional ups and downs and occasional bouts of depression (and that no one appreciates me), I can understand how you feel. I would hope you do not leave the Forums. You are a wonderful person. We in the Forums love you!
 

Nicolas721

Well-Known Member
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I know what it feels like putting effort on a post or thread and then seeing it got no reactions at all or negative ones. But at the end of the day you're the one who decides how that affects you, If posting that made you feel better, that's all that counts, toxicity can be ignored. I'd prefer if you stay as you have helped me with many trades and your posts are great as well, but If you want to leave I'd understand it.
 
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