Corrupt a Wish v2

[Lone_Garurumon]

Granted, but since the desired purpose of puns is to create the loudest groan possible, nothing was really acheived

I wish Pokemon were real

 

[Wispy Willow]

Granted, every single human being on the planet becomes a Pokémon and gets stuck in a bad fanfic.

I wish that those who create such abominations to the written word shall be wiped from the face of the earth.

 

[GeekyGamerZack]

Granted, but they now live on Mars, which eventually becomes a utopian paradise, whilst Earth remains locked in a pre-2020 societal and technological limbo for all eternity.

I wish I could bring myself to stop procrastinating and just proceed with writing the next seasons of my series.

 

[Chibster]

Granted, but your computer/pen/pencil spontaneously combusted.

I wish for this month to go by very quickly.

 

[GeekyGamerZack]

Granted, you suddenly skip to the 1st May, and you missed out on some exciting Pokémon 20th announcements. Hope you remembered to get your Jirachi!

I wish everyone a Happy Pokémon 20th!

 

[lovandra]

Granted. Then they choose to stop producing any pokemon game. Cause noone play pokemon anymore cause it's oldschool and lame.

I wish for a kiwi chick.

 

[Wispy Willow]

Granted, enjoy your female human from New Zealand.

I wish slang terms weren't a thing.

 

[Lone_Garurumon]

Granted, everyone just uses the same terms for everything, causing social interaction to become boring, effectively driving all civilisation into an antisocial mess.

I wish I wasn't SO ZETTA SLOW

 

[Colourful Lies]

Granted. Now you're mega slow instead .

I wish I had the ability to fly.

 

[Wispy Willow]

Airplanes exist. You already have the ability to fly, thus I fail to see the need to grant your wish.

I wish for a jet pack.

 

[lovandra]

Granted. Here's your $200.000 bill. #realityhurt

I wish for some apples

 

[Max1996]

Granted, but they're all rotten.

I wish for a lifetime supply of gummy candy.

 

[Wispy Willow]

Granted, here's a blob of gummi (or gummy, whichever you prefer) that just so happens to be alive.

I wish I had a faster reaction time.

 

[Lone_Garurumon]

Granted, you now react to every single nuance of existence so quickly that it seems to take forever for anything to happen, boring you out of yourmind for the rest of your life (that now drags on a million time longer)

I wish I had some ice cream

 

[Colourful Lies]

Granted, but it melts shortly after you take the first bite.

I wish I had the ability to control the elements.

 

[Wispy Willow]

Granted, but to do so you have to abandon your physical form for eternity.

I wish for world hunger to end.

 

[Lone_Garurumon]

Granted, instead we now have world obesity, society and global functions are now falling apart due to people being too fat to perform their tasks.

I wish I was invisible.

 

[GeekyGamerZack]

Granted, you are now completely indestructible...oh, you said "invisible". I thought you said "invincible"!

Well, I'll change it. You're still invincible, but noone is able to see you. In fact, you're completely intangible to everything in this plane of existence, so nothing can hurt you anyway, meaning the invincibility you didn't even wish for is wasted, and...okay, I've kind of lost track. Bottom line: you are no longer a part of this dimension.

I wish I hadn't failed "Wish Granting 101" in school...

 

[Lone_Garurumon]

Granted, "Wish Granting 101" is no longer a course, so you couldn't fail.

I wish I was composer of Shibuya!

 

[MassiveShock11]

Granted, but the song you composed became a huge flop.

I wish I was an Absol.