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Corrupt a Wish v2

Weather Medium
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I wish I could dance
 
Fresh Snow Pokémon
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Granted, you get an expired one.

I wish the forced minute between posts was gone.
 
Fresh Snow Pokémon
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Granted. I can't think of a way to corrupt it.

I wish that I win the current round of Kingdom of Pokemon.
 
Self-Necromancy
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Granted, you are banned from that game due to wishing for it.

I wish for a Dead Ringer.
 
"What do you mean, my Gengarite is contraband?!"
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Granted, the guy next to you gets crushed by a bell.

I wish for a good Dark/Fairy type in Gen VII.
 
Fresh Snow Pokémon
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Granted, but every other Pokemon turns out horrible.

I wish for a real-life Hydreigon.
 
"What do you mean, my Gengarite is contraband?!"
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Granted, it eats you. Apparently PokéPuffs aren't enough after all.

I wish there were 48 hours in a day.
 
Ducks
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Granted, but in response to said change in blood colour, the colour that triggers an fearful subconcious reaction in humans has changed with it. I'm not sure what that really means for society as a whole, but that's a thing.

I wish for a pie.
 
The Lunatic Is On The Grass
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Granted 3.142857142857142857142857142857142857........

I wish math was hard.
 
Fluffy with 80% more spots!
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Granted. You just made it impossible even for the most accomplished mathematicians and physicists out there, so now humanity reverts back to being cavepeople, eating nothing but nuts, bugs, and berries with social grooming being a thing again.

I wish I could get a raise in my paycheck.
 
Self-Necromancy
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Granted. *gives ^ a paycheck with the word "raise" written on it*

I wish for some cookies.
 
Fresh Snow Pokémon
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Granted, the number of people eaten bu jaguars increases.

I wish for the forced minute of waiting between posts to disappear.
 
Weather Medium
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Granted, but the forums fall into anarchy as post happen left and right with no moderation.

I wish for a shovel blade.
 
Fluffy with 80% more spots!
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Granted. Here's a used, completely rusted beyond repair shovel blade.

I wish I was a heavy sleeper.
 
Ducks
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Granted. *Teleports ^ beneath the soil of some Hawiian island*

I wish chair. Interpret that how you will. It shall amuse me.
 
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