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Corrupt a Wish v2

Dancing With Myself
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Sure, but I'm lying!

I wish Daisy Ridley would drop in for tea and then make sure I get to star opposite her in a musical.
 
*Shivers*
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Granted, but she’ll drop poison in your tea and then you’ll be too sick to star with her.

I wish i was a vampire.
 
Swimming through the air and sea!
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Wish granted but vampire hunters come after you with a stake and garlic.

I wish for world peace.
 
Swimming through the air and sea!
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Wish granted but Santa's Workshop is in danger of sinking thanks to the melting ice in the North Pole.

I wish I could help people.
 
Purple Poison Pupa
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Granted. But instead of actually doing it, you just go around to all the people who need your help the most and perform an elaborate musical number about the many ways in which you can help them but won’t.

I wish that I could sleep in late and still be the first person in my house to wake up
 
I'm a Girl
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Granted, all your family will forever sleep for 22 hours.

I wish I was not always nervous when going to appointments.
 
Dancing With Myself
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Granted, but the affects are reversed! Now the professionals you see are extremely anxious to see you, and they eyeball you with clear apprehension as they sip water to the rhythm of their anxieties.

I wish for young Mark Hamill arms that replace my own, and the strong wrists to match
 
I'm a Girl
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Granted, but you struggle on your heroic duties and you end up quitting.

I wish I did not waste $60 going to a water theme park.
 
My name is not Nick
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Granted. You get refunded. Except you only get one cent back.

I wish for an infinite supply of Revives.
 
Swimming through the air and sea!
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Wish granted but you get more Revives than you can carry.

I wish I wasn't bad at speaking.
 
I'm a Girl
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Granted, you speak really good but everyone else only speaks in sign language.

I wish to get an email notification soon about my audition I passed.
 
I'm a Girl
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Granted, it's scratched and it does not work.

I wish I could get everything for free rather instead of having to pay.
 
Dancing With Myself
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Granted, but instead you have to pay with getting punched. Fancy restaurants have just gotten deadly.

I wish that I could meet a mentor who could steer me through what I really want to do - acting, dancing, signing, writing, Olympic sports and martial arts.
 
I'm a Girl
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Granted, but your mentor becomes overprotective over you and will only let you do stuff that he/she wants you to do and not what you want to do.

I wish my toe did not hurt right now.
 
Swimming through the air and sea!
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Wish granted but it itches a lot.

I wish the thunder wasn't so loud.
 
The Prince is Back!
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Granted, but the storm will move to bother someone else you know.

I wish I had a new set of headphones.
 
Purple Poison Pupa
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Granted, but I was hiding in the box they came in and now I’m constantly trying to steal them.

I wish that They Might Be Giants and Jason Mraz would collaborate for one song, just so I can hear what they’re like together.
 
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