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Corrupt a Wish v2

The Eeveelution who says "Rawr!"
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Granted. It's something insignificant that you can't even see it happen.

I wish for endless candy.
 
the bells of joy are ringing
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Granted. They're all black licorice.

I wish for a monkey that can speak fluent Spanish and can make really good omelettes.
 
The Eeveelution who says "Rawr!"
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Granted. The coffee is now so bitter it's undrinkable.
Granted. It breaks down after 3 minutes of use.
I edited the post, but I guess the same could apply to the new one as well?

I wish for something warm.
 
the bells of joy are ringing
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Granted. The coffee is now so bitter it's undrinkable.
Gahahaha, you underestimate my innate ability to ingest even the most bitter of substances. I basically thrive on black coffee.

Granted. You are now teleported to beside the sun.

EDIT: I wish for something cold
 
The Eeveelution who says "Rawr!"
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Gahahaha, you underestimate my innate ability to ingest even the most bitter of substances. I basically thrive on black coffee.

Granted. You are now teleported to beside the sun.
Where's your new wish?
 
Darkness ≠ Evil
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Granted. You become the absolute lowest temperature that a human can stay alive at, and are no longer able to be killed by temperature. Also you can't change temperature anymore. You're always cold.

I wish for absolutely nothing to happen.
 
Cool cat
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Granted. The entire universe is destroyed so that absolutely nothing can happen.

I wish to be able to breathe in space.
 
The Eeveelution who says "Rawr!"
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Granted. Now you can't breathe air anymore.

I wish to able to breathe underwater.
 
There's no time like the present
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Granted. Now you can't breathe air anymore.

I wish to able to breathe underwater.
 
The Eeveelution who says "Rawr!"
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Granted. Now you must carry a fish bowl over your head all the time.

I wish for a cake.
 
attempts to comfort the owl.
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Granted. The cake is a lie.

I wish that I fall asleep and wake up at the right time.
 
Darkness ≠ Evil
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Granted. You fall asleep at 3 PM and wake up at 3 AM (because that's the right time (the hour hand is directly right))
 
Flagitiously Floofy
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I wish I were better at talking to people
 
The Eeveelution who says "Rawr!"
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Granted. Now you can't talk to anyone but people.

I wish I could run better.
 
toasted pop tart pop star
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Granted. You now can no longer stay still and you keep running forever.

I wish for endless chips
 
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