Corrupt a Wish v2

[Fair Verona]

Granted, but every time you freeze time, you will get sent back 3 years

I wish to be a good jazz singer

 

[Peppermint Phoenix]

Granted but nobody cares

I wish for unlimited wishes

 

[I Started A Cult]

Granted, but only if each and every one of them somehow involves a durian.

 

[DracoMan]

I wish people would remember that they're supposed to wish for something.

 

[Pink Panzer]

Granted, but all of them have to do with giving you a horrible disease.

I wish for a box.

 

[DracoMan]

Granted, you get boxed by Mike Tyson.

I wish there were a word that rhymed with "orange."

 

[Pyrax]

Granted. It's a racist word.

I wish November would come already so I can buy Skyward Sword.

 

[I Started A Cult]

Granted. It makes Mindjack look like Earthbound.
I wish my memory wasn't secretly plotting my demise.

 

[DracoMan]

Granted, I'm plotting your demise instead.

I wish Missingno. Master never said the word "mustache" again.

 

[I Started A Cult]

Granted.
Now every word he says (barring proper nouns) is slang for a reproductive organ.
I wish I could be a California Girl.

 

[Missingno. Master]

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I, the supreme overlord of the Corrupt a Wish game, am much displeased. You call these wishes corrupted? HAH! The word that rhymes with orange should have been so complicated to say that the mere mention of it permanently disfigures your tongue! And when someone wishes for Missingno. Master to no longer say mustache, you make everyone else's heads explode!

...What? Like I'm gonna make my own head explode?

NOW then! Your wish is now granted. You are now a California girl. However, you are also put under arrest because you look exactly like some other California girl who just committed a hideous crime, and are forced to spend the next three months, two weeks, six days, nine hours, fifty-three minutes and twenty-seven seconds sleeping on a couch upholstered with cactus.

NOW. I wish for the continuation of this game. Try and corrupt THAT!

 

[Still Probably Modio]

Granted.
Crocodiles smell you, call theyre lawyers and eat you.

I wish for the best turkey sandmwiich ever. Not rotten, tainted, yucky or have alien eggs or something in it, and nothing horrible or worse or mildly bad happens to me.


And you didnt say with a moustache.
SQUEEEE! WISHES DO COME TRUE!

 

[Missingno. Master]

Granted. However, before you can take a bite out of the sandwich, it is knocked out of your hand by a professional wrestler, then eaten by a school of piranha.

And then your head explodes.

I wish Pokemon was real.

 

[Still Probably Modio]

Luckily, I am not using my head. My brain is in my...uh..ANYWAY,
Granted, but the world dies in torture by legendarys, swarms, and such. No Pokeballs, see?
I wish that the NP did not post.

 

[Missingno. Master]

Not granted. Corrupted enough for ya?

Oh, yeah, and then your head explodes.

I wish for a side of fries.

 

[Buoy]

Granted. The left side of your body starts to fry.

I wish for a hat.

 

[I Started A Cult]

Granted. It's carnivorous.
I wish that I could fully comprehend the glory of viaducts.

 

[Julum]

Granted, but it blows your mind so much that your head explodes.

I wish I wasn't afraid of ReDead and Gibdos.

 

[Kakuna Matata]

Granted, but you're afraid of every other creature in the LoZ-verse. Including Tingle.

I wish humans had the power of teleportation.

 

[Fair Verona]

Granted, people teleport into your bathroom while you are taking a shower.

I wish that spellcheck had every word in it