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Corrupt a Wish v2

Granted, you turn into a chair, but you're one of those horrible posture chairs that are terrible to sit on, so you are ignored and live your life sad and alone, sitting in the corner of IKEA, unnoticed and abandoned.

I wish I had enough money to buy Majora's Mask.
 
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But if I was a chair, then how would I be able to 'live my life sad and alone', as you put it, since inanimate objects have no life? Oh, and you did exactly what I expected. You have not amused me. I am disapoint.

Granted, but it takes control of you whenever you get within ten meteres of it.

I wish for the below user to be blessed with eternal happiness.
 
Chairs are people too. Or something.
I cannot be blessed with eternal happiness because I did not amuse you. I am sorry you are disapoint.

I wish I had a car.
 
Granted, but this sudden change in the space-time continum cause a paradox which eventually destroys the universe or something along those lines.

I wish for utter chaos.
 
Granted, but everyone starts to make fun of you for looking like a main character. Whatever that means.

I wish for above user and the below user to swap boddies.
 
Granted, but what you did not expect is that not only did we swap bodies, but there was a global mass-body-swapping event to which you are not immune. Mass chaos ensues as people who were not driving cars suddenly find themselves at the wheel of a death machine, serial killers are swapped out of prison, law enforcement officers are swapped into obese bodies unable to perform the physical movements required to apprehend criminals, I think this one guy ended up as a cat... Wow, I think this is the most effort I've ever put into a corruption.

I wish pineapples were sentient. I don't know what to expect, surprise me.
 
Granted, you're ruling planet Pluto.

I wish Sun was made of heat.
 
Granted, but it already is, so it simply gets hotter. Glaciers melt across the world and the globe floods. Deserts expand far beyond their previous boundaries. The world is doomed.

I wish for a lioness as a pet.
 
Granted, the next thing you woke up in morning is meeting an angel saying, "You got eaten by a lioness."

I wish soil was solid.
 
Granted, with crappy PC games.

I wish flaws never exist.
 
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