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Corrupt a Wish v2

Granted. It has mushrooms on it (at least I would like to eat it, in fact, mushrooms are my favorite pizza toppings!)

I wish for a racecar
 
Granted! Its only speeds are "zero" and "a million miles an hour," which isn't very convenient and quite dangerous.

I wish for the power to control water!
 
Granted, but you can only make it hail. And not at will, how much it hails is based on your current emotional state.

I wish for power over ice.
 
Granted! Your power over ice is that you make ice cubes melt instantly. No more ice cold water for you. :B

I wish to stay in a nice hotel!
 
Granted! The service of the concierge is bad though...

I wish for an Ultra Wormhole to open near my house!
 
Granted. It dies the day after you get it.

I wish everyone here got me a birthday present on June 7
 
Granted. The thread shuts down instead!

I wish I could talk to you as I am at le water park
 
Granted, but whenever anyone steps on them you also feel the pain

I wish my phone and computer were always fully charged
 
Granted. But their battery life sucks, and after 1 second they die.

I wish I can use Destiny Bond on all of my gadgets
 
Granted, it's not a frosty chocolate one, but its contents does resemble chocolate a great deal...
It's mashed-up tree bark.

I wish for a pie.
 
Granted, it’s poison pie

I wish I had real skill at shooters and a copy of Overwatch
 
Granted, people start calling you a hacker since you're so good and started to hate you, you get banned from online play after one day. The Overwatch is cracked and doesn't even work, the guy that gave you the broken game never refunds you.

I wish that my computer can play more Steam games since it can only play a few without lagging.
 
Granted, but your Steam account gets deleted

I wish I could replay this one song over and over without ads
 
Granted, the song plays so loud that you can't turn it down, making your eardrums burst and causing you to go deaf.

I wish that the oceans turn into cheese.
 
Granted, but all water is now cheese making Earth impossible for life as we know it to exist

I wish my neck didn’t hurt
 
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