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Corrupt a Wish v2

Granted, by one cent.

I wish for an apple pie that I get to eat.
 
Granted, nobody that already wasn't allergic to peanuts.

I wish for a non-poisonous apple pie that I get to eat.
 
Granted, but it has poop on it.

I wish for apple pie that I am allowed to eat, is not poisonous, and will not kill me if I eat it.
 
Granted, it lasts the rest of your life and you're never allowed to leave the meeting room ever again.

I wish that everyone can access education.
 
Granted, you're already dead by the time you reached the moon.

I wish that I have a cute adorable kitten.
 
Granted! Oh, by the way, it's evil.

I wish for a edible apple pie that will in no way harm me.
 
Granted, you're not allowed to eat the apple pie since it was stolen.

I wish that I can cuddle with Jirachi.
 
Granted, it never comes.

I wish that my favorite indoor fluffy jacket's zipper didn't break.
 
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